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graff1980 · 5 hours
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People keep marching into the dark parts, the cold swirling black hole that grips fiercely, and will not let go of a single lonely old soul, while forgetting the invisible things those star sparkling cities of dreams that float precariously above the sea, or all the bodies dropped in the deep unable to escape their eternal sleep.
Society has forgotten children’s make believe, the quality of strange stories developing, then receding with so called maturity as we become unworthy of play and memory, led astray by the way the world tries to make getting money and acclaim greater than acting like a decent human.
Humans keep moving almost in unison like a union of dead men stomping into their own prepared graveyard. I don’t care how brave they are, there is still too much foolishness which could be remedied by altruistic ambitions, because very little is gained by living like winning is a matter of thin pickings as if life is like platinum pigeons, rare, and hard to catch like a dying man’s breath.
-2024
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graff1980 · 24 hours
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It's a battle of the me who is worthless versus the me with the purpose,
of piss poor time management and me trying to plan this shit,
of the blank canvas versus all this overwhelming madness,
of the artist that works the hardest versus the heart that doesn't want any part of this society,
and when all this conflict blooms inside of me it starts inciting exciting bouts of creativity.
-2023
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graff1980 · 1 day
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My nights used to be an endless struggle two-hour workout session expressing the depths of self-hatred because I believed no one could ever love me.
I would put in a VHS of Dragon Ball Z or any of the Rocky movies, and try to murder myself in ten to fifty rep sets of physical ambition.
I used anger to fuel that mission, struggling to hit muscles from different positions while studying magazines and trying to measure up to what they were printing.
I punished cushions when I was venting, practicing high and low kicking along with punching, but never really learned the proper form.
Struggling until I went to sleep sometime after midnight, then waking up miserable, what was the point of the struggle?
What was the point of anything? Why push myself to the point of almost breaking?
What is the purpose of this poem? Is it to learn from my history and prevent the mistake of, what?
-2024
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graff1980 · 2 days
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My smiles are a fraction of the fictions I write to hide the friction inside.
They are genuine expressions, but built upon sorrows and painful lessons, unconsciously designed to lessen society’s rejections and strangers’ discomfort.
So, I play folly’s fool, spin a grin and joke for you, but in the evening those expressions melt and I am left with my truest self.
Tears leak and speak to the tragedies I see repeat, but I pull them all back because I am far more blessed than all those I love.
My smile is the gift I give while I continue to live suffering in parallel, not from actual wounds but from seeing unnecessary calamities causing the despairing of people who should not have to bear such grievances.
-2023
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graff1980 · 2 days
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I took great pleasure.
Two fingers spelunking, searching for her secret passageway, the apogee of ecstasy urgently exiting, and reentering an undiscovered country.
A sunken treasure sought in waves of pleasure, journeying to the climax,
I loved the way she felt inside out, and outside in, and couldn’t wait to get back to her again.
-2023
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graff1980 · 2 days
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This blank page is a soundscape that sits and waits for new word play. It is a map of a city set before me empty, but ready for exploring whilst I record each twist, and turn that tunnels through back alleys, side streets, and other avenues. It is an instant lottery ticket that needs to be scratched to reveal its hidden glory. It is infinite stories including what was, what we thought it was what is, what we think it is, what will be, what we think will be, and every variance in between said realities. It is a palette of life in every shade ready to throw up in my face as I become sick with the breadth, and depth of our entire existence. It is the uncertainty of life, love, and the omnipresent fear of what we know will come for us.
-2024
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graff1980 · 3 days
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It's 11 pm. At this point of the evening my mind is dog shit, social media scrolling, screening garbage. My brain is broken but I won't hawk it for a profit.
-2023
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graff1980 · 3 days
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I didn’t know you could carve the stars into your soul, set sail all alone pointing your bow away from home as you keep going on into the edge that sailors used to think would make you sink then fall off into nothing.
I didn’t know summer could be so cold when you get so old, and your limbs begin numbing, while your calves start cramping, but the world would still beckon, even when freedom looks like a wreck waiting to happen on thunder road as your tires turn and rubber burns while the concrete cracks and explodes.
I didn’t know that paths that I never traveled, would become a yarn that would take longer to unravel the farther removed it became, as what ifs become the largest fish tale I could tell myself, because the things that never happen could have been anything.
-2024
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graff1980 · 4 days
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I got a bone thin weekend creation seeking inner demon trying to free men from a hell of their own making.
-2023
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graff1980 · 4 days
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Technology invites us to steal life’s likeness by creating a prompt and letting the algorithm invent something.
But is it to our detriment, the continuing of our replacement, as the conclusion of the movement that began with automation?
News outlets and other media have already started using it to help maintain and increase views while they downsize.
The new AIs will improve to the point we will not realize if artwork was created by real guys, or be able differentiate deep fakes from actual live videos, making it easier to accept lies we were already primed to buy.
It may be the time to say goodbye, because it has been a nice ride, but humanity is on the decline, as it gets easier to fool the masses, when it wasn’t even that hard to begin with, so it becomes so much harder to win with honest and deep intentions.
But I will dive in and keep swimming. This garden of art still needs tending, and I do this in a big part for my own enjoyment not for any sort of payment.
-2024
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graff1980 · 5 days
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a Lightbulb In The Darkness: Poems by Joshua Amos Graff
I am currently working on a new collection of poetry which will include poems I wrote from January 2024 to April 2024. But this was the first book I ever self published.
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graff1980 · 5 days
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I am the fair hearted child that tried to start up a peaceful revolution to overcome the delusion that we have to be constantly competing.
The awestruck dumb luck creative kid kin to other dreamers who dig into the art of inspiring empathy.
Not the prettiest petal on the flower, or the strongest branch on the tree, but I am the one who looks to see brighter stars in our cosmic dreams.
If you are even a little like me, then I’d gladly share these things all the smiles, and hugs, all the laughter, and games.
Existence isn’t about grinding for better stuff. It’s about finding something to love, and realizing that this moment can be enough if you just sit with it.
-2023
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graff1980 · 5 days
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The keeper of time is the keeper of minds, the sleeper who mines the secrets she finds in the neural vines that wind into a tightly packed network of jagged glass gears.
The Queen of composure, composer of songs older than the first infant’s cooing, making music for moving.
A hundred billion years old life made to create space, and to this day she still generates works of reality that are so strange.
On the last second, of the last planet as all life finally vanishes, she may weep but still manage to move on to the next dimension, a project of her next invention.
Was she meant to be the fates that weave everything, Kali, Horae, Eternity, or just a spectral dream to be seen for an instant then forgotten upon awaking.
-2024
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graff1980 · 6 days
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It doesn’t matter if the show is over, if the jester turned whistleblower to the shady deals of the harlequin and her two-timing friend the joker.
It doesn’t matter if the knights of the king’s ancient court have nothing of note to report, no witty repartee, or wise words to retort.
It’s the lack of common sense, gods, heroes, and fairy nonsense. the impossible intermixed with fiction that is sort of realistic.
It’s all fair sport for my cohorts all the scars, blood, and bruises there to be scribed and amuse us as we try to unravel what’s marvelous.
It’s a deck of cards, or dominoes, a word puzzle, or tic tac toe to grow the depth of what they know and show what witty word play games are made for.
Its chaos confined to fine creative minds who dally where they will writing out whatever they feel because in life there is still a few moments of joy to steal.
-2023
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graff1980 · 6 days
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I don’t need to express what the S on my chest means, don’t have to give up everything pursuing perfection.
Whatever your expecting is not my concern, because I live a six-sided dice life of chance that I play out every night, walking in the moonlight as the soft searching edges of the sea rush up seeking to brush up against my bare feet.
I am pretty close to free, the rainbow minstrel of natural harmony, leaving behind most of the things that try to harm me.
Feelings of gratitude, calm as the deep blue clear water view washing over me, I am only slightly afraid of what will happen to me when this existence ends.
When I am floating like wooden debris moving with the motions of the sea letting it take me, and only occasionally redirecting like GPS, I am still open to a degree, experiencing new things, and using novelty cont. to rewrite the code inside of me. Backspace colon slash insert the code of my past while copying and pasting memories that need replacing.
I am an infinitude but limited to the capacity of my cranial cavity, requiring partial emptying regularly, so I can clear space for a different me.
There are a million more lines that I could write to describe my life, but it’s nearing my shifts end, time for clearing the building, and checking all the doors before I go home to sleep, and become tomorrow’s next new version of me.
-2024
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graff1980 · 7 days
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In the future it's most likely I won't have time for exciting writing due to our climate's declining. All my leisurely activities will no longer be available for me, because every day will become a struggle to find things I need to survive that environmental calamity.
Getting water and something to eat will become harder as I try to avoid the heat on the street. The blacktop may melt the shoes on my feet, and it may get harder to breath definitely harder to sleep with all of that survival anxiety.
So, I won’t be functioning optimally.
-2023
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graff1980 · 7 days
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With slip of the wrist I nicked my fingertip. Now, I can’t stop the thick red spot on my pointer digit from pooling crimson, then streaking down my skin, and dripping like a broken faucet.
One tissue brightly colored, barely compressed because at this moment I have too much going on to completely focus on it.
I will get to the clean-up, as soon as I finish with everything I am doing.
Tasks accomplished then all tidied up with a band aid, and some disinfectant stuff.
Two hours later, and I am in the clear. A few minutes later I hit the back of the chair, and the bandage starts changing colors.
I should probably be just a little worried because it is taking longer than it should to stop bleeding, but I am too stubborn for my own good.
Eight hours later the same day and its looking ok.
I think.
-2024
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