hazewrites

[hazewrites]

I have one last prayer left in me and then I'm done; its all up to Him

[hazewrites]

I could still picture it, the sight of you reading a perfectly good book, with your legs crossed, in your All Blacks jersey and shorts  and your black converse, you smiling back at me when you caught me looking at you as we both sat our front porch enjoying the sounds of our books and the comfort of our silence. I could still picture it, You leading me in a prayer and you guiding me through every movement and every recitation having you kissed my forehead after we have given our salaams and our doa's, Thanking the Lord for reuniting us both and praying that He still unites us in the afterlife. I could still picture it, In a thousand years, I would still picture it.

[hazewrites]

[hazewrites]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

(via

words-of-emotion

)

[hazewrites]

They like to push me to the edge of the cliff, thinking I would be terrified of the heights; they didn't know I could fly.

Halina Zaini, Wings. (02032018)

#personal #poems #poetry

[hazewrites]

My mother named me after the volcano; Volcanoes are often admired, rarely they are ever loved.

Halina Zaini (28 February 2018, Mt St Helens)

[hazewrites]

I leave trails of pretty little petals scattered on the floor at our favorite spot just in case you might want to come back & see the last places we left our happiness at; Follow it and you will find me at the end of the trail. But hurry up, the wind is coming, my love, I dont wan't our chances of reuniting gets blown away by any external factors. Even then, I will still be there.  Call my name. I will respond to you.

Halina Zaini (23022018)

[hazewrites]

You've made me realize the empty spaces you left me at now holds a bigger space for me to dance around in; and the hands that used to provide warmth now no longer anchors me to any obligations; I am free

Halina Zaini (23022018)

[hazewrites]

Love won today

Love won today.

I saw it in the way my mother talks about my father

The way my father protects my mother;

Love won today.

Love won today.

I saw it in the admiration in Nadia to Hizami

In the way Hizami respects Nadia;

Love won today.

Love won today.

But love wins when love was believed in;

And in that particular sense

Without a shadow of doubt

I lost.

- Halina Zaini (301117)

[hazewrites]

(When he leaves) Cry, Cry until your ribcage aches, Cry until your shoulder shakes, Cry until the day has turned to a darker shade; Let all of the poisonous memories And even poisonous kisses Are washed out of you; That is the only way you can be a white canvas And you would not want a single dirty hue. (When he leaves) Forget about the promises, Release yourself from all of his claims and swears, Yet do not punish him for not fulfilling it, He is just human, after all. Do not bind yourself down to a rock In hopes he will come back and rescue you; He is not coming back And you will have to accept that fact; You will soon learn that you will be stronger because of that. (When he leaves) Remove all traces of evidence that he was ever in your life His photos, his texts, his videos, his gifts, His smiles, his laughter, his hugs, his kisses, Chuck them away in a big black plastic bag Drown them in a river And as you leave, do not turn around and swim back to it. (When he leaves) Finally, If you ever have to hate yourself, Hate the times you allowed yourself to feel weak To feel pathetic To feel in complete misery To ever feeling stupid Thinking there will be no one else like him; Because, honey, oh, honey, You don’t want someone else to be like him You definitely want someone better.

Halina Zaini (12042015, when he leaves)

Reblogging this for myself now.

[hazewrites]

I crave to kiss my own skin how I kiss yours,

How I would long for my happiness to be build based on my own accord,

By how I pay attention to my own heart and my own needs and my own desires,

How I wish I could love myself like how I love you,

I'd never get hurt again;

I'll never leave myself.

Halina Zaini

[hazewrites]

I may be small,

But I can jump high.

I may be small,

But I can conquer a mountain.

I may be small,

But I can ride the wind.

I may be small,

But I can build an empire with these bare hands.

I may be small,

But I am a force of nature.

Don't you ever forget about that.

#personal #halinazaini

[hazewrites]

If we ever meet again,

Maybe this time around it will be on better grounds,

You’ll be in better mood

& I’ll be with a better attitude,

Maybe we could revisit the place we first dated,

And eat the food we’ve always liked,

Maybe you’ll talk about the girl you dated after me,

And I’ll talk about the mountains I chased after you;

Maybe one day when it all makes sense,

Perhaps we can try again

Starting with coffee & cakes.

Halina Zaini (281117, Coffee & Cakes)

#personal #poem #poetry

[hazewrites]

(I regret nothing) I have exhausted all of my resources Showing & reminding you of my worth Showing & reminding you of my love; (I regret nothing) There was one fight left in me & I have laid it all in the battlefield of love & war; (I regret nothing) No, this is not the face of defeat this is the face of a woman liberated, who is satisfied with all the efforts she had done; (I regret nothing) There is nothing else in this world that I can do to make you realize. It is all in your hands now; (I regret nothing- I still regret none)

Halina Zaini (No Regrets, 16112017)

#poems #poem #personal

[hazewrites]

I have a mouth of a sailor but a heart of an angel. I have a mind of a politician but a heart of an angel. I have an attitude of a uneducated bigot but (I swear I have) a heart of an angel. But it doesn't matter now, does it? When all of it are by my own destruction, my own doing.  If I could turn back the time and take back all those words,  I would kill the sailor in me. If I could turn back the time and change my mind I would kill the politician in me. If I could turn back the time and realizes that I have the very best  I would kill the bigot in me. I would.

Halina Zaini (I swear, 14112017)

#poems #poet #personal

[hazewrites]

Love is a strong force.  It can either blossom a young girl to a beautiful lady or cripple even the strongest woman.

Halina Zaini (14112017)

#poem #personal

[hazewrites]

There was nothing to talk about anymore. The only thing to do was go.

Jack Kerouac (via wordsnquotes)