12 years after the good ending of OMORI, Hero reflects on the unexpected turns his life has taken. He wasn't the same person he used to be and knew he would never be that person again. After such a devastating loss, he had truly believed he could never be happy again, but things were different now...
OR Hero finds healing and loves again (the abridged version).
Past Hero/Mari and Current Hero/Zoey (OC) Slice of Life, Romance, and Hurt/Comfort.
Rated G. Spoilers for OMORI and some discussion of canonical character death, grief and mourning.
Word Count: 4,950. Full Text Below the Cut. Link to the Work on AO3.
A/N: Both of us creators are passionate Hero/Mari shippers, but we are also huge believers that Hero deserves to be happy and that Mari would want him to be happy. He might not ever be ready to move on and might not ever want a romantic relationship like that again, but if he did, this story is just a little glimpse into what we hope it would be like. It's a delicate situation, and we hope this little story has done justice to his grief and the kinds of struggles he would experience in moving on while also realizing it doesn't mean he has to forget.
This story includes specific references to the other stories in the "When Sun Shines Again" series (particularly "Am I Ready For Love Or Maybe Just A Best Friend?"), but this should stand alone and work as a sort of abridged version and epilogue to everything else so reading the other stories is unnecessary. The cover is Mod Sprinkles' art with the title graphics free to use from Canva. Thanks for reading! âïž
âI missed this, you knowâŠâ
With a flick of the spatula, Hero flipped the egg he was currently frying, but he smiledâturning to Zoey with warm, affectionate eyes. âYeah, me too. Itâs been too long. SorryâŠâ He sighed wearily as he stirred the sauce for his chilaquiles. âWe used to have brunch all the timeâŠâ
His voice trailed as he thought of the pediatric PM&R residency that had been running him ragged for the past five years leaving barely any time for anything else. Gone were the days of making brunch every Sunday for his friends like he had back in college. Most days he couldnât even find the time to make himself a sandwich.
Zoey chuckled as she tucked a piece of short red hair behind her ear. âI meant I missed you, Heroânot brunch.â As she leaned over the counter, her light, teasing laugh wrinkled her freckled nose. âI would have been perfectly happy picking something up from that bagel place down the street and just sitting here doing nothing. You didnât have to cook for me on your only morning off this week.â
âI know, but I wanted to,â he insisted with a gentle smile as he met her green eyes. âI feel like I never see you anymore.â
âItâs okay. Youâre a medical resident,â she replied in that matter-of-fact way of hers. âI donât expect to see you.â
Hero sighed heavily. He supposed she had a point. Residency wasâŠa lot. Truthfully, he felt like he didnât see anybody anymore. Something guiltily coiled in his stomach as he thought about his missed calls from Kel or Sallyâs dance recital he had had to skip out on. He had rescheduled on his parents about half-a-dozen times when they had wanted him to go through some boxes of his stuff they had found in their garage, and he had missed Sunnyâs daughterâs first birthday when he just couldnât get out of work.
Despite his best efforts to be present for his loved ones, he had to develop a code system to classify emergencies. These days it was nearly impossible to get ahold of him unless someone texted him âTea Timeâ indicating they needed immediate assistance that just couldnât wait.
It was Zoeyâs idea, but she had never used it. Â
If Hero was being honest, that made him feel particularly guilty. He couldnât stand the fact that he felt spread so thin he didnât have much left over to give her. She didnât seem to mind thoughâusually shrugged it off with insistences that she was busy with her own career too, her dream job: building bridges as a civil engineer. Perhaps that was part of what worked for them. She was so independentânever needed what he couldnât give her, but that didnât mean he wanted that for her. He couldnât help but feel she deserved so much better, so much more than what he had to offerâŠand not just in terms of his time and attention.
âYou have to work again this afternoon, right?â asked Zoey pulling him out of his thoughts. When he nodded, she added, âJust donât wear yourself out, okay?â
âIâll try my best.â
As he turned to crack another egg, he caught sight of Zoeyâs hard hat on the counter. âDo you have to work today too?â
She shrugged. âTechnically no, but I said Iâd swing by the building site.â
âIn this weather?â Heroâs brow furrowed as he glanced out the window watching the violent pattering of the rain against the glass. âItâs really coming down out there.â
âItâs fine. I have an umbrella.â She waved her hand dismissively motioning to the corner where she had placed the familiar red umbrella she had let him borrow the night they officially met twelve years ago. It was hard to believe it had been that long. âBesides you know I donât mind the rain,â she added with a smile. âAnd this helmetâs water resistant.â
âNice hat,â Hero gently teasedâthe slightest twitch of a smile curling in the corners of his mouth as she playfully nestled the thick plastic rim into her short red hair.
âYou really do love this hard hat, donât you? You want to try it on or something?â
Hero laughed but shook his head. âIâm not sure it would look nearly as good on me.â
Zoeyâs lips curved into a teasing smile. âOh but everything looks good on you, Mr. Prince,â she quipped, and Hero couldnât stifle his laugh at her use of the rather cheeky nickname she had given him back in their undergrad. He was honestly surprised it had stuck around this longâthough these days she only used it when she was playfully teasing him. âEven those bright green scrubs. Iâm going to miss them when youâre not a resident anymore, you know?â
Hero chuckled but sighed as he adjusted his shirt under his apronâmedical resident green as Aubrey probably would have said. He had honestly forgotten he was wearing scrubs right now as he had been planning to change into different ones right before he left for the hospital, but they had been the only thing clean in his closet. He really needed to do laundry though he didnât mind scrubs and definitely hadnât minded the color. Still he conceded, âI think the lab coat will be better. Just a few more weeks of these. Itâs honestly kind of hard to believe itâs almost over.â
Zoey chuckled then dryly teased, âWhat are you going to do with all that extra time?â
Hero tilted his head. âI have a few ideasâŠâ
âIs one of them getting a good nightâs sleep? Because I think you should bump that up to the top of the list.â
âYeahâŠâ he chuckled before giving the sauce another stir and flipping his eggs. That wasnât exactly what he had in mind. Instead he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he thought about his MamĂĄ Almaâs engagement ring he had recently picked up from his safety deposit box at the bank. When his grandmother had given it to him years ago, he had honestly thought he would never use it, but despite his protests that he could never love again and her beautiful jewelry would waste away in a vault forever, she had just patted his cheek calling him âconcineritoâ just like she used to do when he was a little boy and said, âEl corazĂłn hace espacioâââthe heart makes room.â
For a very long time he hadnât really believed that or at least, hadnât really understood it, but, as unbelievable as it was, things were different now.
Zoey had been his best friend for over a decade, and he had loved her for years without realizing it or, rather, without being ready to accept it. Even though everyone they knew would have insisted it was a long time coming by the time he had finally asked her out for a cup of coffee three years ago, it still didnât seem real. When Mari had died, Hero had genuinely believed he never would and never even could feel that way about anyone ever again, and truthfully, he had been planning to never really move on. ButâŠthere was just something about Zoey. To this day, he still couldnât even begin to describe or explain the way he felt about herâthe way she made him feel things he didnât know he could feel anymore. The way her smile healed something in him. The way he could look into her eyes and see a future, a life he had never imagined was possible for him anymore. The way she made him believe he could be happy againâmade him believe he could love again.
There was no one else in the world like her. She was brilliant, driven, and really spunkyâa little rough around the edges but so empathetic, so much softer than she wanted people to know and an amazing friend. Back in college when he never would have imagined he would eventually date her, they used to stay up until all hours of the night making sandwiches and drinking tea whenever their fraternity and sorority hosted parties and theyâd just talk for hours about anything, everything. She was so passionate, especially about bridges and her dreams of wanting to build them someday. Hero could have listened to her talk about it forever even though he didnât know the first thing about engineering. Perhaps even more than that, she was easy to talk to tooâhad this way of seeing through him. It was vulnerable but safe. He found himself telling her things that he could never tell anyone elseâthings about himself, his life, his family, and his past: mistakes, regrets, fears, even his grief.
Heâd never forget the first time he told her about Mari. It was the first time that he had ever told anyone who hadnât known her about it, and he didnât know what to expect, didnât know what she would say. In his wildest dreams, he would have never imagined she would cry for him, hold him, tell him that she wished he had gotten to have his âforeverâ with her. He was so moved just thinking about it, and to this day, he could barely believe that someone could care that much, could love him that much after everything. It was more than he felt he deserved. And she deserved everythingâdeserved so much more than he had to give her.
He would give her anything, everything that he had to giveâwould do anything to make her happy, but he couldnât help but worry it wasnât enough. Even though he loved her in a way he had never believed he could love someone again, the truth was his heart was a lot more broken and bruised than it used to be. He was a lot more broken and bruised than he used to be. He just wasnât the same person that he was before, but he desperately wished he could be that person for her, the kind of person she deservedâsomeone whole. Â
âHey, you okay?â she asked with a slight tilt of her head and a kind smile. Hero nodded. Â
âYeah, Iâm okay. Just feeling a little sentimental, I guess.â
âDonât tell me youâre going to miss all the insane hours and marathon shifts?â she teased, and Hero chuckled, somewhat grateful she didnât quite know what he was getting sentimental about.
âNo. Iâm definitely looking forward to having a normal schedule for a change and consistent days off.â Or so he hoped anywayâŠbut he didnât add that part. Instead he turned off the stoveâs burner and poured his salsa over the plates of tortillas, then topped with fried eggs before he handed one of the dishes to Zoey.
âThis is delicious,â she said between forkfuls as he took a seat across from her at the table. âThough I expected nothing less from you.â
Heroâs mouth curved into a bright but almost bashful smile as he scratched the back of his neck. âIâm sure itâs not that great. Iâm kind of out of practiceâŠâ
Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes at him somewhat affectionately. âI canât imagine what âin practiceâ would taste like,â she quipped before she took another bite with a satisfied hum. âDo you ever think you couldâve been a chef in another life?â
Hero chuckled lightly, but he shrugged as the slightest smile twitched in the corners of his mouth. âI wanted to beâback when I was a kidâŠâ He paused, sighed. He knew she already knew thatâalready knew everything about him, but she didnât seem to mind him repeating himself. He could feel her hand reach across the table to gently cover his until their fingers intertwined, until he looked up at her and met her bright green eyesâinquisitive but kindâŠand knowing as if she could see right through him and understood the bittersweet weight behind those words. As she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he squeezed her hand and added, âBut I donât want that anymore...â
âThink youâd be even more stressed as a chef?â
âProbably.â His lips twitched before he took a bite of his chilaquiles. âAnd youâd see even less of me.â Â
Hero couldnât help but smile at the way she stifled a laugh as she caught his dry joke. Zoey tilted her head at him. âWhat do you want now?â she asked, as if she didnât already know the answer. Â Â
His cheeks grew warm as he thought of that ring again, but he dryly quipped, âA good nightâs sleep.â
She laughed aloud this timeâher smile reaching her green eyes until she bantered, âWell donât set the bar too high. Gotta keep those wildest dreams in perspective, you know? Make them attainable.â Despite the dryness of her delivery, she couldnât quite hold back her smile. As Hero laughed, her expression softened. âYou really do deserve some rest, Mr. Prince. Just because you can function on three hours of sleep, doesnât mean you should. It shouldnât be a dreamâitâs pretty fixable.â
âYouâre starting to sound like KelâŠâ
Zoey shrugged. âIâve always said Scottyâs got a lot on the ball,â she said using the nickname she had given Kel over a decade ago on account of his penchant for fixing things. âItâs good advice, and Iâm not just saying that because he agrees with me.â The tines of her fork scraped against her plate as she finished the last bite. She stared at her empty plate with a thoughtful hum. âMaybe I should head outâgive you some time to take a nap before you have to work this afternoon.â
âYou donât have to stay, but I donât think Iâm going to sleep if you go soâŠdonât leave because of that.â
Zoey smiled but sighed. âWishful thinking on my part, I guess.
A loud crash of thunder clanged outside the window, and she frowned. âI had better get going thoughâhead over to the site before the weather gets any worse.â
With a brisk nod, Hero rose from his seat to help Zoey clear her dishes. âIâve got it,â he insisted, but she somewhat playfully wrestled her plate away from him with a pointed frown.
âYou cooked. I can clean up.â
As she quirked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, Hero sighed. He knew this look. It meant there was no point in arguing with herânot that he was much of an arguer to begin with. Still, he gently insisted, âAt least let me help. Itâll be faster with both of us.â
Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes, but she shrugged. âIf you insistâŠâ
Hero nodded, grabbing his used pans and utensils and joining her at the sink. It was a little like dĂ©jĂ vu to be honest given how often they had done dishes together back in collegeâthough Hero would be the first to admit it was much faster and much easier with a consistently functioning dishwasher.
As if she could somehow read his mind, she quipped, âWell this is familiarâŠâ as she rinsed off their plates in foamy, soapy water. Chuckling, he gently nudged her with his shoulder as reached for a sponge to start scrubbing the remnants of fried eggs off his pan, and she let out a breathy laugh. âCanât say I missed dishes too muchâthough they were always more fun with you.â
âPretty sure that was you actuallyâŠâ His mouth twitched into a kind smile. âYou always thought of great things for us to talk about to help us pass the time.â
He could feel Zoey shift beside him, and she sighed as she intently scrubbed at the stained rim of the saucepan. âYou know, there actually was something I wanted to talk to you about todayâŠâ
Hero hummed glancing at her over his shoulder as he loaded the silverware into dishwasher. âOh?â
âYeah, I wanted to ask you somethingâŠBut you have to promise me youâre going to be honest.â
âOf course,â chuckled Hero, but Zoey didnât laugh.
âI mean it. Donât just say itâs fine because you think thatâs what I want to hear.â She paused, and Hero could feel his face flush. âI donât want to cross a line.â
His brow furrowing, Hero stopped loading the dishes and turned to look at herâmeeting her eyes. âZoeyâŠâ His voice hitched, and he could feel his hands trembling even as he tried to calm his breathing. âIs everything okay?â
She nodded with a slight, reassuring smile. âYeah. Everythingâs okay. I justâŠâ Her voice trailed. She wouldnât look up from the saucepan she was cleaning. âDo you think I could visit Mariâs grave sometimeâŠ?â
Hero froze. Of all the things she could have said, he would have never expected that. She had visited there with him several times in the past, but it was always as support for him when he was going there anyway. She had never asked to make a special trip before. It surprised him, but it didnât necessarily feel like a bad thing.  âUhâŠyeah. Sure,â he stumbled running a hand through his hair. âI umâŠGosh, I donât know when Iâm going to have another day off but when I finally finish up this residency and get a more consistent schedule Iâm sure we canâŠâ
âHero,â she cut him off. âI meant, could I go alone? Would that be weird for you if I went to visit her sometime by myself?â
Something twisted in Heroâs chest. He didnât know how to feelâdidnât really know what to say to that. It seemed so unexpected, but he didnât think he had a problem with it. After all, Zoey knew a lot about Mariânot just from him but from Sunny and Kel too, even Aubrey and Basil. He supposed it could make sense that she might want to visit herâŠbut the truth was, he really couldnât understand why.
UnlessâŠ
He swallowed hardâbiting down on his lip. He couldnât even think it.
âHero?â He felt her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. âJust forget it okay? It was a silly idea. There were just some things that I wanted to say to her, thatâs all, but if itâs weird for you, I donât want to cross that line.â
âNo. No, itâs okay. Itâs not weird for me, if thatâs what you want to do. Itâs justâŠâ His voice trailed. He didnât have the words for what he wanted to say, the question he wanted to ask. In a way, he was almost scared of itâscared of the answer. The truth.
He had tried to avoid it all this time. While he had told her a lot about Mari, he had tried so hard to keep it focused on him and his griefâon how he felt when she died, how he had blamed himself, how it had wreaked havoc on his relationships with the people he had cared about most, how it nearly destroyed him and how he had never thought he could ever be happy again. But she popped up in his stories sometimes and he had told Zoey the most basic things about her that she was kind, smart, and talented, she played piano and was cheerful and warm, the kind of person you could always count on to be on your side or to brighten your day oftentimes just by smiling because when she smiled you wouldâve sworn the sun shined brighter.
Zoey knew that he loved Mari, that a part of him would probably always love her. It didnât seem to bother her at all, but it had been so hard for him to make peace with that in himself. Even now, there were times when he second-guessed himself, felt guilty that his heart was so broken and bruisedâthat he couldnât give her everything that he felt she deserved. He desperately wrestled with the fear he wasnât enough, with the feeling that it wasnât fair to her that despite how much he loved her and would have done anything for her it would be impossible for him to ever say that she had been the one and only love of his life. He was terrified that she would feel slightedâthat sheâd compare herself to Mari and feel trapped in her shadow, feel like she was only a second choice or a last resort.
His heart ached when he thought about itâthought about how he could never be the kind of person that Zoey truly deserved: the person he had once been, in that other life before Mariâs death, but that person had died with her and no amount of healing could ever bring him back. There was so little he had to give anymore though he would give Zoey the world if he could. It was so hard to believe his painfully pieced together heart was worth much of anythingâeven though he loved her with every inch, every crack, every crevice, ever bruise and broken edge of it. He loved her more than he had ever imagined he would or even could love someone again. It wasnât better or worse or more or less, just so different from the way he had loved Mari. He just wasnât sure that was enough.
And nowâŠhe didnât know if she was sure either. What else could she possibly want to say to Mari without him there than that she was just playing second fiddle, just taking her leftovers, just standing in as a last resort.
 âZoey, IâŠâ Heroâs eyes burned as the words got caught in the back of his throat, but he eventually choked out a rambling, probably incoherent, âYou know I never wanted you to feel like you had to compare yourself to Mari. IâŠIf Iâve ever done anything to make you feel likeâŠlike youâlike youâreâŠlike youâre only aââ
âStop.â She cut him off firm but kind. Hero bit his lip, but he wouldnât look at her. He couldnât. âLook at me,â she said, but when he couldnât bring himself to, her thumb traced gentle circles across his cheek. âHenry.â
He inhaled sharply, and something fluttered in his chest at the sound of his real name. She rarely ever used itâonly when she wanted to remind him to stop being a âheroâ and take care of himself or, he supposed, in times like these when she really wanted to get his attention. It had a weight and a gravity which was only intensified the minute he finally looked into her eyes and she said, âYou have never made me feel like a second choice.â
He finally let go of the breath he was holding. In relief, his eyes fluttered closed, but he bit his lip. âIâm sorryâŠâ
âThereâs nothing to be sorry about,â she insisted. âYou know how I feel. Weâve talked about this.â
They had. Multiple times. But that didnât ever take away the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that âYou shouldnât have toâŠâ
Swallowing hard, he took a shaky breath and turned away from her. His shoulders twitched as he stared down at his hands with a bittersweet smile. âI justâŠI want more for you.â
âMore than the perfect man? Iâd really like to see thatâŠâ she quipped dryly. âAnd Iâm flattered, but I donât think thatâs possible, Mr. Prince.â
His mouth curved into a smile in spite of himself, but he could feel his face growing warm. âIâm far from perfectâŠâ he sheepishly insisted, rubbing his hand across the nape of his neck. âAndâŠâ His smile faded. âIâm serious, Zoey.â
âSo am I.â Her voice was matter-of-factâhonest, but an affectionate smile curved in the corners of her mouth. âThere is no one else like you. You know I still field calls from my old sorority sisters asking how I managed to bag prince charming.â
As Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, an awkward, disbelieving chuckle escaped Heroâs mouth. He buried his blushing face in his hands as Zoey continued, âOf course, I never dignify that with a response, butâŠâ She shrugged. âIf I did, the answer is really, âI have no idea.ââ
Hero laughed in spite of himself, feeling very guilty for it, but Zoey didnât seem to mindâjust chuckled lightly herself and smiled at him until her expression and her voice softened. âJokes aside though IâŠI honestly didnât think it was ever going to happen. Not that it couldnâtâjust thatâŠI didnât think you were ever going to be ready.â
He nodded. The truth was he hadnât either.
âNo one wouldâve blamed you if you werenât. I definitely wouldnât haveâŠMoving onâbeing ready for thatâŠthatâs all you. Thatâs your choice.â She paused and met his eyes. âAnd you chose thatâyou chose me. And that means more to me than the idea of us being cosmically destined soulmates or the one and only love of your life. I donât need that. I donât even want it, and I donât want someone who can give that to me. I onlyâŠwant to be with you.â Shaking her head, she laughed at herself muttering, âThatâs so cornyâŠâ Â
Hero reached out his hand to herâpushing that one wild strand of hair out her face and pressing his palm to her cheek. âMi vidaâŠâ
As she glanced up at him, he could only hope that the look in his eyes conveyed the deeper meaning of those wordsâconveyed everything he wanted to say every time he called her that. He didnât use it oftenâdidnât really use terms of endearment much anymore. It felt wrong to call her the same things he had called Mari. He never called her âhoneyâ or âsweetheartâ or his most precious name for her, âMi corazĂłnâ: âmy heart.â But Zoey and only Zoey was âMi vidaâââMy life.â She liked it well enoughâthought it was a pun because of her name. Zoey. Life. His life. A life he never dreamed heâd be able to have.
âI love you,â he said, and her bright green eyes smiled at him.
âI know you do. And you donât have to try to prove it to me by pretending Mari never existed.â She broke away from his gaze and glanced over his shoulder at the cluster of old photographs of him and his friends hanging on his living room wallâmemories of that other life and who he had used to be back when Mari was alive. It had been Zoeyâs idea to hang them up, and she said now exactly what she had said then, âMoving on doesnât mean having to forget, Hero.â
His heart ached at those words, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He wasnât sure how long he held her until she sighed, âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have asked. I didnât mean to upset you. I wonât go.â
âNo, I think you should,â Hero insisted. âI meanâŠif thatâs something you want or need to do.â
âIt is. But not for the reasons you thinkâŠâ She sighed. âNot because Iâm comparing myself to her or anything like that. I guess I justâŠI wanted to reassure her that Iâd take care of you. Thatâs all.â She pulled away from him with a soft, affectionate, smile. âIs that okay?â
âYeah. Yeah, thatâsâŠreally good.â His eyes grew misty, and his voice hitched. âThank you.â
Her smile brightened, and it reached her eyes. He knew that she understood those words meant infinitely more than what he had said.
âHeroâŠâ she began. âYou know I love you, right?â
He nodded, but he couldnât hold back the smile that tugged at his lips. âYeah.â
âCan I ask you one more thing?â she asked with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
âAnything.â
She tilted her head, pursing her lips together. âAnd you promise you wonât take it the wrong way?â
He swallowed hardâhis hands beginning to shake again, but he managed, âI promise.â
Zoey took a deep breathâlong and heavy. She stared at the picture of Hero and his friends in Faraway Park back before Mari had passed awayâback before they were jaded, broken, before they had to learn how to be happy again. âDo you think sheâd be happy for us?â
Heroâs chest ached, but a bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He thought about the last time he had visited Mari. He had gone aloneâstopped there after he had picked up his grandmaâs engagement ring from the bank. He had wanted to know the same thing. It felt strange to look for that reassuranceâto look for some kind of sign when he knew Mari couldnât really answer him. But Mari had found a way. When he had told her about his plansâasked if she would be okay with that, there was strong gust of wind. It blew a twig off a nearby tree that hit him in the head. He had laughed. As if Mari was trying to tell him what a silly question that wasâespecially when he already knew the answer.
He hugged Zoey againâglancing off over her shoulder out the window where the sun was peeking through the clouds even despite the rain. As a certain warmth spread through his chest, he blinked the mist out of his eyes and whispered, âI know she would be.â
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Under The Weather (A Hero-Centric Sick Fic)
When Hero has to cancel his visit home due to illness, Kel gets worried and calls in some reinforcements to take care of him. Kel knows there is nothing that upsets his brother more than being fussed over and worried about, but maybe he'll let himself be taken care of just this once...
Genre: Sick Fic, Slice of Life and Hurt/Comfort. Friendship and Kel & Hero's Brotherly Love. Post-Good Ending. Self-Indulgent. Hero Deserves To Be Happy.
Characters: Hero (POV Character), Kel (POV Character), and Zoey (OC). Sally and the parents make brief appearances. Mari and Sunny are mentioned.
Relationships: Hero and Kel's Brotherly Bond. Kel and Zoey (OC) Friendship. Hero and Zoey (OC) Friendship [Could be Hero/OC if you really wanted, but this story take place mid-extremely slow burn so they'd swear they're just friends here]. Past Hero/Mari is implied, referenced, and mentioned.
Word Count: 11,886
Rating: G
Warnings: Some hurt/comfort. Some mentions of grief. Mentioned flu and flu-like symptoms. Sick Character. Referenced Canonical Character Death. OMORI SPOILERS. There is a little angst, but it wraps up with brotherly love and Hero actually being happy and taken care of after the good ending (who knew we'd live to see the day...)
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This story is part of the "When Sun Shines Again" universe & includes specific references to "Am I Ready For Love? Or Maybe Just A Best Friend" but it should stand-alone and make sense without reading any of that.Â
A/N: It's my birthday and this is my (Acacia's) self-indulgent present to myself. đThank you for indulging me!
Link to work on AO3. Full text below the cut.
Thank you for reading! đ§Ąđâïž
Kel glanced over at the clock, watching as the second hand barely ticked away. He generally wasnât this distracted or antsy at basketball practice, even when his coach called an emergency practice after school on a Friday when everyone was naturally jittery with anticipation for the weekend. But he couldnât seem to focus on anything todayâfound himself zoning out until something collided with the back of his head.
âOuch!â he yelped, rubbing his hand across the spot the basketball had just bounced off of him. That was definitely going to leave a mark. Some of his teammates snickered while a few offered shrugs of apologies. His coach huffed, crossing his arms clearly unamused.
âWhat is going on with you today?â
âSorry, coach,â he mumbled sheepishlyâscratching the back of his neck. âMy brotherâs coming home from college for the weekend, so I guess Iâve been a little distracted.â
His coach frowned. âWell you can run out that distraction by running laps around this gym. 10 lapsâgo!â
Kel sighed, but he sprinted off for his laps. If he was being perfectly honest, he didnât mind. If he was lucky, maybe running laps would help time pass faster. Heâd try anything that would help time pass faster. Hero was coming home, and he couldnât wait to see him.
When practice finally wrapped up, he practically sprinted out to his car and, though it likely would have worried his mother, he sped home at, at least, a solid 10 mph above the speed limit. He hoped he hadnât missed Heroâs arrivalâthough he knew he had a class this morning and wouldnât have been able to leave until later in the day, then he had what was probably a 3-hour drive taking traffic into account, so maybe time was on his side.
When he pulled onto his street, he was relieved to see that Heroâs car was not in the driveway, and as he ran through the doorway into the house, he called, âHave you heard from Hero at all?â Do you know what time heâs coming?â
With an affectionate chuckle, his mom looked up from the block structure she had been building with Sally. âWell, welcome home to you too, Kel. Did you have a good day at school? How was basketball practice?â
âIt was fine,â he said with a shrug, trying to ignore that lump on the back of his head. âBut have youâ?â
âWanna play âzoo,â Kel?â Sally interrupted with a bright smile as she held up some of the colorful, plastic animals he and Hero had bought her for her birthday. âYou can have any ammimals you want.â She stared up at him with wide, expectant eyes as she handed him an elephant. Kel smiled, patting his little sister on the head.
âThanks, Sally. Weâll play in a minute, okay?â He paused, turning back to his mother. âMomââ
âI havenât heard from him since this morning. He was supposed to call before he left, but maybe he got busy or forgot,â she cut him off with a slight shake of her head. âI hope heâll make it back in time for dinner.â
âIâll call him,â exclaimed Kel reaching for the telephone receiver. As Kel began to dial the number he knew by heart, he stoppedâwondering if it would be better to call Heroâs cell phone. They were all still adjusting to the fact that he had gotten one. It made their mother feel safer and more secure, knowing that Hero had a way to call for help in an emergency, but since he had limited, prepaid minutes, they all still usually communicated with him by calling the landline at the fraternity house where he lived. In this case, however, Kel was hoping that Hero was already on his way, in which case, his cell phone would be the best way to get ahold of him.
âWhat if heâs driving?â sighed Mom as Kel began to flip through the address book they kept near the phone. When he found the number, Kel shrugged. Â
âThen he wonât answer, and Iâll just leave a message.â
âTell him about my zoo,â giggled Sally, and Kel nodded. As he held the phone to his ear, the ringing of the telephone mingled with Sallyâs best impression of a lion. A smile tugged at his mouth as he watched as his sister began to set her animal toys in the block zoo she had been building with their mother.
He was so distracted he almost didnât hear the slow, heavy breath followed by a hoarse, groggy, âHello?â
Kelâs brow furrowed. âHero? UhâŠitâs KelâŠâ He stumbled over his words, worried he had dialed the wrong number. The person on the other line barely sounded like his brother at all. There was more wheezy breathing as if Hero couldnât catch his breath, followed by an audible gasp and a stumbling, almost panicky, âKel? Oh my goshâwhat time is it?â
âUmâŠaround 6:00, I think.â
âIâm so sorry,â apologized Hero, sounding like himself again besides the hoarse breathiness of his voice. âI wasnât feeling well so I lied down to take a nap before I left, and I must have completely lost track of time.â His voice cracked and hitchedâraspy and wheezy before he finally burst into a fit of nasty, phlegmy coughing.
âYou sound terrible. Are you sick?â
âHeâs sick?â interjected their mother bustling around him in a fidgety panic. âWhatâs wrong? Did he see a doctor? Does he have a fever?â
âI donât know, Mom,â huffed Kel, but he was promptly cut off by Hero.
âMomâs there?â There was something concerned and guilty in his already weary voice. âTell her not to worry. Iâm fine. My friends have been passing this bug around. Iâm the last one to catch it. Iâll probably be better in a couple days.â
Kel nodded before he realized his brother couldnât see him; then, he turned to his mom giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. âHe says all his friends have had this bug. It only lasts a day or two. Heâs gonna be fine.â
âTell him to take medicine, get lots of rest, and drink plenty of water and to keep checking his temperature,â his mother began rambling. âIf it reaches 103, he needs to call a doctor or go to urgent care.â
âMom,â sighed Kel. âHeroâs gonna be a doctor. Iâm sure he knows all that.â
âYou can hand the phone off to Mom If you want. Iâll talk to her,â Hero weakly interjected before he started coughing again. âIâm really sorry Iâll have to postpone my visit, but Iâm not well enough to drive and I wouldnât want to get you sick.â
âItâs fine, okay? Donât worry about it. Are you sure youâre alright? Thatâs a really nasty cough.â Kel bit his lip, trying not to sound nearly as concerned as he felt. His fingers trembled as they gripped onto the receiver. As he looked in his motherâs face, he knew she was worried too and likely for the same reason: Hero never got sick.
âIâm fine,â he insisted but his raspy voice and coughing fit seemed to imply otherwise. âDonât worry about me. Iâm probably just going to make some instant ramen and go to bed.â
âBut you hate instant ramenâŠâ
âHeâs making instant ramen,â interjected their mother. âTell him to try to eat something healthierâmore hearty like soup.â
âMomââ Kel began to protest before Hero cut him off with a weary sigh.
âI just didnât have the energy to make anything elseâŠâ Heroâs voice trailed, and Kel swallowed hard.
âIs there someone there who can take care of you?â he asked, and Hero sighed again.
âI donât want to bother anyone or get them sick. Besides theyâre all heading out to this party tonight.â He paused, coughing again. âBut itâs fine. Iâm really okay, Kel, just a little under the weather.â
Kel sighed heavily. He wished he could believe him, but Hero had always had this way of deflecting and belittling his own problems because he didnât want people to worry. This had gotten especially bad over the past couple of years. Ever since their fight, it seemed like Hero would never tell him that anything was wrong ever again. Kelâs chest ached. His brother could be dying right now, and heâd have no idea.
âHeroââ He stopped abruptly, unsure of what he even wanted to say. It would probably just be the wrong thing anyway, so it might be better if he just didnât say anything at all.
âIâm okay, Kel,â Hero gently insisted again. âAnd Iâm sorryâŠbut weâll see each other another time. Maybe next weekend or the weekend after? Whenever Iâm not contagious anymore.â
Kel sighed, but he finally answered, âYeahâŠYou just take care, okay? Do you want me to put Mom on now?â
Hero hummed, and Kel handed the phone off to their mother who started blustering and prattling away about cold medicine, sponge baths, and electrolytes. Kel didnât catch most of it, but he did clearly hear, âI wish you had someone up there to take care of you.â Kel let out a long, heavy sigh. He certainly felt the same way, but that definitely wasnât going to happen. Hero hated asking for help more than he hated instant ramen.
âIs Hero gonna be, okay?â asked Sally, tugging on his arm. Kel gave her a reassuring smile.
âYeah. Heâs just a little sick right now, but heâll be fine. Then heâll come visit and see your zoo.â He took Sallyâs hand and led her back to the blocks and toys. âHere, Iâll help you with it.â
Helping Sally with her zoo project did not distract Kel nearly as much as he hoped. He was constantly distracted by worries about Hero and how bad his health wasâif he was really telling them the whole story. He didnât usually get sick after all, and he sounded horrible. What if he had a flu or something and needed medical attention? He could at least use someone who could check in on him and make sure he was getting water and enough to eat that wasnât instant ramen. But Kel wasnât sure who that would even be. UnlessâŠ
Impulsively, Kel raced upstairs to his room to grab the notecard where he had written Heroâs friend Zoeyâs phone number after she had offered to let him call her whenever he got stuck on his math homework. Kel had used to call Hero with all his homework trouble, but after Hero himself was stumped by a particularly difficult math problem, his brother had suggested they ask his friend who was an engineering major and, Hero insisted, a math genius. Best of all, she had just so happened to be hanging out with him when Kel had called. Zoey had quickly solved and walked him through the problem, then several others. Then she generously offered that he could call her with any other questionsâwhich he had multiple times. Honestly, heâd probably be failing math right now if it wasnât for her.
He talked to her all the time, sometimes it seemed, even more than Hero, though Kel often thought he probably got a more accurate account of how Hero was actually doing from her than if he had just asked his brother himself. He could only be told âIâm fine, just busyâ so many times before it started sounding automatic and rehearsed. Zoey at least told him the truth: heâs stressed about upcoming exams, busy cooking food for a party his fraternity was hosting, or groggy from staying up all night studying. Kel sighed. He understood if his brother wanted to keep a lot of his life private, but, heâd be lying if he said it didnât hurt a little to be cut off from his reality by dismissive âIâm fineâs. He knew Hero didnât want him to worry and was likely just trying to protect him from that, but stillâŠhe couldnât shake the feeling that it was his own fault. Hero probably didnât want to tell him he was stressed out, overwhelmed, or sick because he was worried Kel would just say the wrong thing, just like he had when Hero had gotten so depressed after Mari had died.
Neither of them ever wanted that to happen again so they just didnât really say much of anything anymoreâat least not much of anything that mattered. Sure, they still talkedâso much and so often that Kel knew the phone number to Heroâs fraternity house by heart, but it barely scratched the surface, never touched anything deep or meaningful. In a way, it felt hollow, distantâlike Hero was only showing him a hazy impression of his life, enough to reassure Kel he was doing okay but not enough that he could feel like he actually knew him anymore, at least not like he had when they were younger and Hero had told him everything. It was getting betterâhad been over the past two years since they had learned the truth, butâŠKel knew things would never go back to the way they were. He should probably be used to that by now. His brother was a very private person, and he probably always would be.
And by the time Kel had dialed the number and listened to two rings of the telephone, he realized with a somewhat sheepish sigh that he probably should have been a little more respectful of that. His hands began to tremble as he clutched onto the receiverâgenuinely starting to worry he was crossing a line. Zoey was one of Heroâs best friends, and Hero might be embarrassed to know his younger brother had been calling her to ask if sheâd check up on him.
Before he could even begin to consider hanging up, however, someone answered the phone with a âHello?â
âHey, uh, this is Kel. Is Zoey there?â
The young woman on the other line laughed. âScotty, how are you?â she asked, and Kelâs mouth curved into a bright smile. He knew immediately it was her. She was the only person in the world who called him âScotty.â Zoey had explained to him once it had to do with his talent for fixing things, just like âScotty the Miracle Man,â a reference to some old tv show Zoey said she had used to watch with her dad. It didnât bother Kel that he didnât get the reference. He was honestly just kind of excited to have a nickname. After all, he had never really had one besides âKelâ before and that was just a shortened version of his name. He had always kind of wanted one, just like Hero, but he had never told anyone that before.
âIâm good,â he replied with a chuckle. âYou?â
Zoey hummed. âIâm doing okayâbeen kind of busy. You stuck on your math homework again?â
âWell yeah,â Kel admitted with a shrug. âBut that wasnât why I was calling. Is this a bad time?â
âNope. Most of my sorority sisters are headed out to this party, so thatâs probably what youâre hearing in the background.â
Kelâs brow furrowed. He heard some background chatter and rustling noises, but it was all kind of faintânothing he would have thought was worth mentioning if Zoey hadnât brought it up herself. âYouâre not going to the party?â
âI have a project due next week, and honestly, parties arenât really my scene. Donât tell your brother, but I really donât think Iâd have a good time without him there anyway. Weâre usually the only sober ones, and drunk companyâs really not all itâs cracked up to be,â she replied dryly, and Kel laughed but shrugged his shoulders.
âHave you talked to Hero at all?â
âNot since yesterday. Did he make it home okay?â
Kel sighed. âHeâs not coming. Heâs sick.â Kel pausedâsighing again and trying not to sound too disappointed. âHe called like 45 minutes agoâhas this terrible cough. He says he caught some bug or something and isnât well enough to drive.â
âI knew this would happen,â huffed Zoey though she sounded more guilty than upset. âWeâve all been passing this flu around, and Heroâs been trying to take care of everyone so, of course, he got sick himself.â
âA flu?â interrupted Kel. He shook his head. So Hero had been underexaggerating againâŠ? He shouldâve known.
âIâm sure heâs going to be okay,â Zoey reassured him. âHe has a really strong immune systemâbarely ever gets sick. Itâs one of the reasons heâs going to be a great doctor. Donât worry. I had this flu tooâgot over it in a couple days.â
âHe got it from you?â teased Kel, and Zoey laughed.
âProbably from Kyle. They are roommates. But weâve all had it. Heroâs the last one.â Zoey paused, sighed. âWe really didnât think he was going to get sick.â
âYeah he uhâŠusually doesnât, but he sounded pretty miserable when I talked to him earlier today. Said the only thing he could eat was instant ramen.â
âHe hates instant ramen,â Zoey interjected, and Kel shook his head with a sigh.
âI know.â He paused thoughtfully then tried to ask as nonchalantly as he could manage, âHeyâŠuhâŠdo you think you could bring him over some food or something? Just so he wouldnât have to keep eating instant ramen. I wouldnât want you to get sick or anything, but since you already had it, maybe you could just drop it off and maybe check in to make sure heâs doing okayâŠ?â His voice trailed, and he bit his lip as he waited for her answer.
âIâm not much of a cook, Scotty,â chuckled Zoey. âBut I could stop by a restaurant or Other Mart to pick up a couple things and drop them off for him. You know itâs only going to make him feel guilty though. Heâll help anybody that needs him without batting an eye, but the minute you try to turn it around and return the favor, itâs suddenly a big deal.â
Shaking his head slightly, Kel sighed. âYeahâŠthatâs just Hero for you.â
When Zoey sighed herself, Kel imagined she was shaking her head with the same somewhat affectionate exasperation, but she hummed thoughtfully. âIâm sure heâs feeling pretty miserable right now, and not just because heâs sick. Heâs been so excited to see youâtalked about practically nothing else for the past couple weeks.â
âReally?â The question slipped out before Kel could stop it, and his face flushed. Luckily, she couldnât see him.
âYeah, of course,â Zoey chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. âI donât know if Iâve ever known anyone whoâs so excited to see his brother. I mean, I love my brother, but the way Hero talks about youâitâs like youâre the most important person in the whole world, his best friend.â
âI donât think Iâm his best friend anymore,â mumbled Kel without thinking.
âHeyâŠâ Zoeyâs tone of voice softenedâsomething gentle and sympathetic in it. âIf youâre talking about me or Kyle or Brandi, C.J., Lorraine, TamraâŠyeah, weâre all Heroâs friends and we all care about him, but none of us are you. And weâre never going to be you, Scotty. Youâll always be number one.â
âI dunno,â sighed Kel. He was pretty sure he lost that spot when he was insensitive, said all the wrong things after Mari diedâwhen he hurt his brother, broke him.
âI donât really know if itâs my place to say butâŠâ Zoey began tentatively, but she let out a conceding sigh. âYou know the only time I ever really see Hero happy is when he talks about youâabout how amazing you are and how proud he is. His face just lights up, and he smiles for realâit actually reaches his eyes.â
Kelâs face grew warm, but he stifled a chuckle. It was funny to hear her say that considering he would have said the exact same thing about her. They all would have. It was Sunny who had noticed it first, actually, on account of the fact he lived in the city and Hero often invited him to hang out with him and his friends. Kel would never forget how he had excitedly told him, Aubrey, and Basil all about what it had been like to see Hero smile again. They almost hadnât believed him, but then Hero had come home on a break and told him about how he got caught in the rain with some friend of his, a spunky engineering major who thankfully had a red umbrella. In the middle of his story, Heroâs face had lit up and he had smiled just like Sunny had said, a real smile that actually reached his eyes. Kelâs chest ached just thinking about itâabout how much he wished his brother would smile like that all time, about how much he wished he would be happy again.
Kel took a long, deep breath. Could it really be possible that Hero smiled like that when he talked about him too? He couldnât really believe that. Not after everything that had happened.
âHe really loves you, you know?â Zoey continued quietly, and Kel fidgeted. Could she read his mind or something? âIf the situation was reversed and you were sick and he was hours away, heâd be calling your friends tooâhaving Aubrey and Basil go check up on you and make sure youâre doing okay. Heâd probably be calling your parents all the time for updates too. Everyone in Faraway Town would be keeping an eye on you for him.â
Something twisted in Kelâs chest, and his eyes fluttered closed as he took a deep breath. âPlease donât tell him Iâm worried.â His voice hitched over his wordsâquiet, small, like he was that little boy cowering in the corner watching Hero break again.
âYou can tell him yourself,â Zoey gently encouraged. âIâm sure heââ
âYou know about our fight, right?â Kel interrupted without thinking. He swallowed hardâthe only sound during the long, heavy pause which followed. It probably crossed a line to ask that. He didnât even know if she knew, but Hero had told him he had told Zoey about Mari, had told her a lot of things that he didnât think heâd ever tell anyone. It wouldnât have surprised Kel if their fight was one of them.
âYes,â Zoey finally admittedâquiet, matter-of-fact. âHe told me.â
Kel huffed lightly, breathily almost a disbelieving laugh. âThen you know why I canât just call him up and tell him Iâmââ His voice hitched, and he stopped abruptly. Â
âKelââ she began to protest, but he cut her off.
âAnd you also know that itâs all my fault that weâre notââ He stopped abruptlyâthe words getting caught in the back of his throat. He shut his eyes tightly and swallowed hard.
âThatâs not the story he told me.â
Something twisted in Kelâs chest. He couldnât imagine what else his brother could have possibly said. Even if Hero had tried his best to protect him with his account and paint him in a better light so Zoey wouldnât hate him, he couldnât change the fact that it was his pushy and insensitive words that had broken him, right? He was the one who had made him feel guilty, made him feel like it was his fault he was so depressed, like he could just snap out of it somehow, like he wasnât doing enough, and worst of all, like he was disrespecting Mari. He was the one who had said all the wrong things, who hadnât been sensitive or kind enough like Hero himself would have been if the situation had been reversed. He was the one who said this wasnât what Mari would have wanted, and he was the one who watched while those words broke his brother. He was the one who had broken him.
No version of the story Hero could have possibly told anyone could have changed that, but he supposed it was really none of his business.
âYou know, Kel,â Zoey continued with a heavy sigh. âSometimes we put up walls between ourselves and the people we love because weâre afraid of hurting them. It doesnât mean we donât love themâit just means we donât know how.â
Kelâs chest ached, but he swallowed hard. âAnd youâre saying Heroâs like that?â He paused, and the words slipped out before he could stop them. âWith you?â
âWith everyone.â She hadnât missed a beat. Kel supposed he admired that about her. She could be so honest but so kind too, and she knew Hero so well. Kel could tell that she cared about him and was a good friend. Both she and Hero vehemently insisted they were nothing more than that, and Kel believed themâwhich is why his question probably crossed a line, why Zoey felt compelled to add, âNot just me. You know that weâre notââ
âYeah, sorry,â stumbled Kel interrupting as he shifted and fumbled around with the phone in his hands. âI didnât mean anything by that. I justââ
âItâs okay,â she thankfully cut him off. âJust wanted to make sure you werenât getting the wrong idea. We get teased enough as it is by our friendsâI can tell it bothers him. He wonât say, but I know itâs a touchy subjectâŠâ
âDo you think heâll everâŠuhâŠyou knowâŠ?â he stumbled over the question, feeling guilty for even asking though he was desperate to hear another opinion that wasnât the dismal ones he, Aubrey, Basil, and Sunny could generally come up with. Given the way he had tripped over his words, he wasnât sure sheâd even understand what he was trying to say, but she sighed.
âHonestlyâŠI donât know.â She paused thoughtfully. âBut I do know that heâs not ready right now.â
Kelâs brow furrowed. That wasnât exactly the answer he was expecting. âHe told you that?â he asked before he could stop himself.
There was a long pause before Zoey answered, âYes.â Her voice was matter-of-fact, pragmatic, and unreadable, but she sighed heavily. âScotty, if you want to talk to Hero I feel like you should. Heâs your brother. You should be hearing all this stuff from himânot me. Itâs really none of my business.â
âHe wonât talk to me.â Kelâs face flushed. He hadnât meant to say that out loud. Zoey sighed.
âKelâŠâ
âItâs fine. Itâs justâŠthe way it is, you know?â he shrugged, swallowing hard. âHe wouldnât even tell me how sick he was.â
âHe didnât want you to worry.â
Kel huffed. âWell, I did anyway.â
âIâll go check on him, okay?â Her voice softenedâkind and sympathetic, almost reassuring. âBut heâs going to be fine. Donât worry. Then, Iâll call you later and tell you all about how heâs feeling better already.â She paused chuckling. âOkay?â
Kel sighed, but he shrugged his shoulders conceding, âOkay.â
âGood. Now whatâs that math problem youâre stuck on?â
Kel snorted a laugh in spite of himself. âYou think we have time for that?â
âUnless you want me to tell your brother you called specifically to ask me to check up on him, then yeahâIâm gonna have to actually help you with your homework,â she quipped dryly. âI think thereâs a special place in hell for the kind of person whoâd lie to Hero.â
Reaching for his math textbook, Kel laughed. âAlrightâŠWell in that case, itâs another one of those functionsâŠâ
*-*-*
Wearily rubbing his eyes, Hero groaned. He was so exhausted it took all of his strength just to roll over onto his side so he could reach his bottle of water. He knew it was important for him to stay hydrated, even without his mother reminding him, and was truthfully desperate for something to drink given how hoarse and sore his throat was after he had just woken up.
Coughing, he managed to take a few sips before he sunk back down into his bed. Sunny had once rated it a 9 out of 10, but now Hero would probably rate it an 11, the most comfortable bed on earth. He never wanted to leave it ever, ever againâbut that was probably just the flu talking.
Hero couldnât remember the last time he had had the flu. He rarely ever got sick. Contracting what he had originally thought was a cold was a surprise enough, but he had just chalked it up to being a little under the weather and tried to push through itâuntil he had crashed that afternoon after a coughing fitâchilled, aching, and too tired to even move. By the time he woke up to answer Kelâs call, he was honestly miserableâphlegmy, wheezy, shivering, and so feverish he could barely put a sentence together. Even now, his head throbbed, and his thoughts were cloudy and muddled. He felt disoriented and too exhausted to even think too hard.
Hero sighed. He should probably take his temperature againâmake sure it wasnât too dangerously high. It barely took any time at all for the thermometer to dingâflashing a whopping 102.2 degrees Fahrenheit. Hero took a long, deep breath, or at least as deep as he could manage given his nasty cough. A fever that high certainly explained why he felt so crummy. He reached for some tissues and blew his nose before he coughed again. It would probably be best if he just went back to sleep.
His eyelids grew heavier and heavier until they finally started drooping closed, but Hero was distracted by rustling noises he heard downstairs. His brow furrowed. He thought his entire fraternity was out at a party. Had someone come back early?
The sound of footsteps walking up the stairs echoed through the hallway, followed by a knock on the door to his room.
âUhâŠCome inâŠ?â Hero mumbled unsurely in a hoarse voice before he coughed again. He tilted his head at the door as it swung open, and Zoey walked in with two bagsâone paper, one plastic.
âYou look terrible,â she teased dryly, but her freckled nose wrinkled as she smiled at him brightly enough that it reached her green eyes.
âZoey?â Hero stumbled slowly, breathily. He rubbed his headâunsure if he was seeing things. âWhat are you doing here?â
âI heard you were sick so I brought you some soup and a Hero sandwich but I put that in the refrigerator since I thought you probably werenât up for solid food yet.â She reached into the paper bag and took out a plastic spoon and a to-go container of soup from his favorite soup and sandwich place in the city.
âThank youâŠâ Heroâs voice trailed as he struggled to catch his breath.
âIt was nothing, especially compared to the homemade soup you made me when I was sick.â With a thoughtful hum, she ran her hand through her short, red hair and began fumbling around in the plastic bag. âIâve also got you some sports drinks, water, cough drops, tissues, tea, and VapoRub.â
 âYou really didnât have to do thatâŠâ Hero insisted in a raspy whisper. âHow much do I owe you?â
Zoey waved her hand dismissively. âDonât worry about it. Itâs my co-op semester so Iâm basically rolling in money.â She chuckled lightly. âPlus, I wanted to do this for you. What are friends for, right? And I mean, Iâm the reason you got sick.â
Hero shook his head weakly as he took a long breath. âNo, youâre not.â
âRight. Sorry. It was all of us,â Zoey corrected with a lopsided twitch of her mouth. âAnd your lack of boundaries.â
Hero chuckled lightly in spite of himself, but it quickly turned into coughing. As Zoey scrambled to get him some water, he managed to choke out, âSorryâŠâ
Zoey tilted her head handing him the water to drink. âFor what?â
Hero shrugged, but he took a few sips. âI donât want to get you sick.â
âIâve already had it. Iâll be fine.â She sighed with a pointed tilt of her head. âYou take this âheroâ stuff way too seriously, you know? Itâs not gonna kill you to let someone take care of you every once and awhile.â She pushed his desk chair next to his bedside and took a seat. âNow you just sit back, relax, and take easy, okay? Mamaâs here.â
âI thought I was âMamaâ,â he teasedâdry and breathy. He wouldnât have had the energy to argue with Zoey on the best day but especially not when he was so rundown and miserably ill like this, so instead he chose to banter. Mama was the nickname his roommate and Zoeyâs long-time best friend Kyle had given him back in their freshman year, after all, so it seemed appropriate.
A smile tugged at Heroâs chapped lips as he watched Zoey laugh. Something warm spread through his aching chest knowing he had made her smile.
âHey, I was âMamaâ before you were,â she bantered back. âBut donât worry I wonât tell Kyle.â She twisted her mouth to the side, but her expression softened as she reached out to take his hand. Frowning, she shook her head. âYour hands are so clammy.â
âSorryâŠâ mumbled Hero as she pushed some sweaty hair out of his faceâpressing her palm to his forehead.
âYouâre burning up. You have a thermometer?â
Hero noddedâthen weaky motioned to his bedside table where his thermometer was sitting amongst a bunch of tissues. âI just took it. Itâs 102.2.â
Zoeyâs brow furrowed. âWhen do we call a doctor?â
Hero shrugged. âProbably if itâs over 103âŠâ His breathy voice trailed wearily. âBut thereâs things you can try to bring it down before then.â
âLike a cold sponge bath like in a movie?â asked Zoey, her mouth quirking to the side. Hero shook his head.
âYou want it lukewarmânot cold. If itâs cold, the blood vessels will constrict, and the body will hold onto heatâŠâ He sighed then coughed into his elbow. After he managed to catch his breath, he added, âBut tepid water is good. You can take a wet rag and use it to sponge the back of the neck or the foreheadâthe arms and torso would help too.â
âYou want me to go get one?â
Heroâs face flushed, finally realizing what he had said and that it had come out in a way he hadnât intended. âNo, uh⊠I meant âyouâ in the impersonal sense. I couldnât ask you to do that.â
Her mouth curved into a slight smile. âIâm happy to help.â
âI know,â he said, but he fidgeted, something almost bashful in his expression. âBut I uhâŠI wouldnât want you to have to see meâŠuhâŠââhis voice cracked and he mumbledââshirtless.â
Zoey chuckled. âYouâre adorable, you know that?â she teased. âItâs nothing I havenât seen before. Weâve been to the beach how many times and youâre a lifeguard for goodness sakes. You canât possibly be that self-conscious.â
âThatâs different. That was the beach or the poolâthis isâŠâ He could feel his ears burning. âmy room. Weâre alone here, andââ
âAnd youâre sick. Itâs all medical. Surely, I donât need to explain that to you, future doctor.â She crossed her arms with a pointed look, before she clicked her tongue and bantered, âYes, we all know youâre very attractive, Mr. Prince, but you kind of look like death warmed over right now. Itâs nothing to get worked up over.â
Hero choked, then coughed repeatedlyâphlegmy and guttural, definitely not attractive in the slightest. As he hacked and lurched forward, Zoey patted him on the back, firm but gentle before she rubbed her hand across his shoulders.
âWoah. Woah. Take it easy. I was just teasing you.â Her voice was soft and kind, and there was something so gentle in her eyes as she met his and apologized. âSorry.â
Heroâs insides twisted. He could tell he had worried her, and he couldnât stand it. He never wanted anyone to worry about himâespecially not his friends.
âNo. Itâs okay,â he insisted when he finally caught his breath, but his words got jumbled and muddled in his foggy brain and scratchy throat. âIâŠI know you were... Itâs justâŠthatâs not what I meant. I was justâŠembarrassed. I mean youâve already had to see me in my pajamas.â Hero stared down at his pajama shirt and pulled on the collar as his face burned and not just from the fever.
âYour grandpa pajamas?â Zoey teased dryly. His face flushed, but he nodded. Chuckling lightly, Zoey shook her head. âYou do realize Iâve seen Kyle in his underwear more times than Iâd care to admit, right? This is nothing. And besides, Iâve already seen them before.â
âYouâveââHeroâs voice crackedââseen my pajamas?â
âWell not in person, but Sunny drew me a picture of you in them.â
âSunny drew you a picture of me in my pajamas?â Hero repeated incredulously in a disbelieving, hoarse voice.
Zoey shrugged but answered matter-of-factly. âHe only draws you in your pajamas. He draws everybody in pajamas. You know, the last time I saw him he asked me about my pajamas so he could draw me in pajamas too.â
âWhyâ?â Heroâs voice hitchedâcut off by an awkward laugh and wheezy coughing. âWhy would he do that?â
âNo idea. You tell me.â She paused, but Hero could only shrug his shoulders. Sunny was a talented artist, but Hero would be lying if he said he understood a lot of his abstract pieces or the reasoning behind them. Zoeyâs guess as to why Sunny wanted to draw everyone in pajamas was as good as his, he supposed. âBut Iâm pretty sure he always draws you in these exact pajamasâlong sleeves, button down shirt, stripes. I remember thinking âwhy does Sunny think Hero wears grandpa pajamas?â but clearly itâs because you do.â
Hero chuckled lightly but tilted his head at her. âWhatâs wrong with my pajamas?â
âNothingâif youâre over the age of 70,â bantered Zoey. âIf youâre not, I donât think anyoneâs worn pajamas like these since the 1950s, but I guess you were always a Wally Cleaver type, huh?â
As his face burned, Hero sighed. âI donât think Iâm as charming as Wally Cleaver, and Iâm definitely not as athletic as him. And he had all those girlfriendsâŠâ
âThatâs a moot point,â Zoey interrupted, waving her hand at him. âWally wanted all those girlfriendsâyou donât. If you did, you absolutely could have them.â
âIâm sure thatâs notââ Hero began as his blush deepened, but Zoey cut him off again.
âNo, it is. Every girl in my sorority house would date you in a heartbeat,â she replied bluntlyâpragmatic as if it was a well-known fact, but her mouth curved into a lopsided grin as she dryly teased. âYou are Mr. Prince, after all.â
âTamra has a boyfriendâŠâ Hero protestedâweak but somewhat playful. Â
Zoey sighed, rolling her eyes. âWell okayâŠnot Tamra then...â
âOr you,â he quietly added, but Zoeyâs mouth twitched into a lopsided smile.
âI donât know, Mr. Prince. If you were actually interested in me, I think Iâd have to seriously consider itâespecially now that Iâve seen you in your grandpa pajamas.â She beamed at him with a bright, teasing grin before she let out a short, playful whistle.
Hero blushed before he buried his burning face in his hands. âZoeyâŠâ
Before either of them could say anything more, however, they were interrupted by a distant, shrill whistling sound.
âThatâs the kettle,â said Zoey. âIâll be right back with some tea for you.â
âYou really donât have toââ Hero began to weakly protest, but she cut him off with a pointed stare.
âI donât want to hear it, Henry.â
Hero paused. It still caught him off guard every time she used his real name. It wasnât too often that she didâonly when she wanted to tell him to stop being a âhero.â It was her way of reminding him to take care of himself, reminding him that it was okay if he was just âHenryâ for a while. If Hero was being honest, it meant a lot to him to know someone cared enough to tell him that. Zoey had been telling him that for years now, but she only started calling him âHenryâ to do it after he had told her about Mari.
To this day he wasnât sure why exactly he had told her in the first place besides the fact she had sort of figured it out on her own, but he was grateful that he had told her the truth, had finally been able to share that with someone. He would never forget the way she had cried for himâheld him, told him that she wished he and Mari had gotten their forever. He had been so stunned, so moved by her empathy and kindness, that he had just panickedâtrying to apologize for making her sad, for making her cry. After a lot of back and forth of him apologizing profusely and her gentle reassurances that it was okay, she had finally just cut him off in that spunky little way of hers. âNo. None of that, Henry,â she had said with a pointed emphasis on his real name, trying her best not to smile as she said it for possibly the first time. Even so, she had insisted, âIâm serious. Iâm going to keep calling you that until you stop that. Stop being a âHeroââstop worrying about everybody else for just a second. It wonât kill you to be a little selfish for onceâŠand itâll honestly make the rest of us look better.â
Hero chuckled lightly to himself just thinking about it. She certainly kept her wordâpulled his real name out for that reason whenever she felt he needed reminding of that. There was always a certain warmth and a flutter in his chest whenever he heard her say it.
A smile tugged at his mouth as he stifled a laugh, and the way her lips twitched in the corners made him realize she was trying not to laugh now too. Could it be that even after all this time, it still felt a little unnatural, a little awkward for her to call him that? After all, she generally called him âHeroâ or if she was feeling playful or cheeky âMr. Prince.â
Heroâs chuckling was soon drowned out by coughing again, and Zoey patted his back and handed him tissues, water, and a cough drop until he finally calmed again.
âStill think you donât need me?â she quipped, quirking an eyebrow at him.
âIâm glad youâre here,â he admitted quietly.
Her smile widened before she gave him one final pat on the back then took off down the stairs. âIâll be right back with the tea.â
Hero took a long, shaky breath, trying his best to stay awake as he waited for her to return. His mind was feeling hazy againâsluggish and foggy from fever and exhaustion, but a question nagged at him. How had Zoey known he was sick? Yes, she was very perceptive, and there had certainly been times he was almost convinced she had to be a mind reader butâŠhe hadnât been that ill when he talked to her last. He supposed Kyle could have said something, but as far as Hero knew, Kyle had just assumed he was napping not battling with a flu.
âHereâs your tea,â said Zoey, swiftly reappearing with a warm mug, a gift from his fraternity brothers that read âWorldâs Best Mama.â Hero laughed every time he saw it, though this time it came out more like a breathy wheeze then a cough. âItâs lemon and echinacea since youâre sick. I put a little honey in it for you too.â
Hero smiled as she handed him the cup. He probably shouldnât have been surprised. Zoey was one of his best friends. She probably knew more about him than anyone elseâof course, that would extend to knowing how he took his tea. But it wouldnât extend to knowing he was sick, would it?
âThank you,â he mumbled, taking a sip of his cup of tea before he took a long, shaky breath. âHeyâŠZoey?â
âYeah?â
âHow did you know I was sick?â Hero swallowed hardâthen coughed again. Zoey tilted her head pointedly at him.
âItâs kind of obvious,â she quippedâdeflecting. Hero sighed. He knew a lot about that himself.
âYeahâŠbut did someone tell you? Ask you to check up on me?â
Zoey sighed heavily, but she finally admitted. âYes. Scotty mentioned it when he called me earlier. He said you were too sick to drive home this weekend so you had to cancel your trip.â
Hero blinked at her. It took a minute for the words she had said to register. Scotty was her nickname for Kel, some reference he had never quite gotten himself, but it seemed to make his brother happy to have a nickname. Heroâs head ached. His brotherâŠ? âKel?â he asked in a weary confusion. âKel called you?â
Zoey nodded. âI helped him with his math homework.â
Hero swallowed hard. Somehow he knew that wasnât the entire truth. The thought made something twist in his chest. He bit his lip as he quietly asked, âIs he worried about me?â
âWhat do you think?â Zoey paused, but from the look she was giving him now, Hero knew the answer, if he hadnât already. âYou two are a lot alike you knowâyou both worry about each other but wonât really say.â
âI donât want Kel to worry...â The words slipped out without him really thinking about themâhonest, vulnerable, real. The feverish haze was loosening his tongue, it seemed. Heroâs brow furrowed. He didnât like it for the same reasons he didnât like drinking. It felt like losing controlâonly this time, he didnât have the energy to care too much. Â
âThen I donât think not telling him anything is the answer,â Zoey replied. âKelâs pretty smart, you know? He knows somethingâs wrong even when you wonât sayâknew you were way sicker than you let on. He asked if I could stop by and check on you.â
Heroâs face flushed. He couldnât really process what she was saying, âKel did that?â
âWhy do you sound so surprised?â
Hero swallowed hard. He met her eyesâhoping the look in them would say louder than any words that she already knew why. Ever since their fight, he had felt Kel slipping awayâwalking on eggshells around him like he was scared he was fragile and would snap again. No matter what he did to try to reassure Kel that he was okay and that he would never lash out at him like that ever again, Hero couldnât shake the feeling that he was losing his brother. He tried his best to stay connectedâtalking to him all the time, planning trips home to visit him, even letting him stay with him in the city, and even though things had been getting better since they had learned the truth two years ago, Hero knew that they would never be the same. They could never be the same, not anymore. Not afterâŠ
âI really hurt himâŠâ Heroâs voice crackedâbreathy, dazed, but heart-wrenchingly guilty even all these years later.
He hadnât realized he had said that aloud, until Zoey gently reassured him, âAnd you apologized and moved on. Thatâs all, in the past now. I donât think Kel holds it against you at all.â She paused, sighed. âWhat if heâs sitting around, saying the same thingâworrying the same thingâŠ?â
Heroâs chest ached, but he shook his head. âNo, IâŠâ
âHero,â Zoey sighed, cutting him off. âIf thereâs distance between you and Kel, itâs only because the two of you wonât just talk to each other. If you did, maybe youâd realize youâre both scared of the exact same thing, and that itâs not worth being worried about. You had one fight. It doesnât mean your relationship is just broken forever.â Â Â
âIt was a really big fight,â Hero gently protested, swallowing hard before he tried to catch his breath. âThere are some things you just canât come back from.â
âAnd I can promise you, this is not one of them.â She reached out and took his hand again, holding it tightly until he looked up at her and her reassuring green eyes. âYou should hear the way Kel talks about you. Itâs constantâall the time, no matter what weâre talking about. Weâll be working on polynomial functions and suddenly heâll just start going on and on about how you always got all As on your report card or how you jumped into a lake to save Sunny and Basil or how you won some hot dog eating contest. He polishes all your trophies while youâre away at school. Heâd be the first to tell you that you are the kindest, most amazing person heâs ever known, and he wants to be just like you. Youâre his heroâno pun intended. And nothing you could possibly say could change thatâcould change how much he looks up to you.â
Heroâs face flushed redâhe could feel the tips of his ears burning as he turned away from her staring down at his duvet. âHeâŠhe said all that?â
âHe didnât have to. Scotty wears his heart on his sleeve. Itâs obvious, and honestly you only have to talk to him for five minutes to know how important you are to him. It honestly makes me wonder a little about what Jared and Lorraine say about meâprobably nothing nice,â she chuckled teasingly with an affectionate roll of her eyes. âI can almost guarantee you; most people are not talking about their siblings like theyâre actual saints behind their backs.â
Hero chuckled lightly, but his expression softenedâsomething warm spreading through his chest as he thought about Kel. Could that really be true?
He sighed, pushing the thought awayâgrateful for the opportunity Zoey had given him to change the subject to her own family. Hero knew that wasnât her intention, but he was taking the opportunity anyway. No matter how easy Zoey was to talk to and how many private and difficult things he had told her about himself, he still didnât like to be the center of conversation and would never enjoy talking about himself. Zoey didnât enjoy that either, so he wouldnât want to put her on the spot, but this was about her siblings, right?
Hero didnât know Zoeyâs younger brother Jared very well, but he didnât really seem like the type to have many nice things to say about anyone, but her twin sister, Lorraine, was also a good friend of his. They often knitted or did arts and crafts together during which time Lorraine tended to gush about her sister in a way Hero found very sweet and endearing. He hoped Lorraine wouldnât mind if he told her that. Â
âLorraine has nothing but nice things to say about you,â he admitted with a slight smile. âSheâs always telling me how smart, driven, and beautiful you are. How youâre strong and honest but so kind, so much softer than you want people to know. She says youâd make a great girlfriend.â Hero blushed. That last part had just slipped outâhe probably wouldnât have said it, if he wasnât so feverish, but Zoey just laughed.
âLorraine said that to you?â She sighed, rolling her eyes somewhat affectionately but the look in them was genuinely guilty. âSorry. Iâll talk to her.â
As he coughed, Hero shook his head. âNo, itâsâŠitâs okay. Sheâs rightâŠâ His voice trailed, distant and breathy, but he couldnât stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth, âYou are all of those things, and if you did ever want to date someone, that person would be very luckyâŠâ
âNot nearly as lucky as the person who gets your heart, Mr. Prince.â
Even though Hero was sure she was only teasing him, his face flushed anywayâburning to the tips of his ears. He pursed his lips together, then stared down at his hands on the duvet. âItâs pretty brokenâŠIâm not sure itâs much of a prize anymore,â he mumbled, trying his best to play along despite the sadness that crept into his words.
He bit his lip, but he felt her warm, gentle hand reach out to take his. He couldnât look at her face, but he felt her squeeze his hand, heard her voiceâquiet but sincere. âI donât think thatâs true.â
As he took a long, shallow breath, Hero shivered, but he wasnât sure it was from the fever. Zoey let go of his hand immediately.
âYouâre trembling. Letâs get you another blanket,â she said, turning towards Kyleâs bed. âYou can have Kyleâs. He wonât mind.â
âItâs okay. I have a quiltâŠItâs under the bed.â Hero struggled to catch his breath as he leaned forward, trying to pull himself out of bed to look for it, but Zoey gently reached out her hand to stop him.
âIâll get it,â she insisted; then she pulled the quilt out of one of the plastic bins under Heroâs bedâunfurling it then tucking it around him, all the way up to his chin. With a sigh, she ran her hand across the carefully stitched pattern of bright orange and yellow marigolds. âItâs beautiful.â
âMy TĂa Gloria made it for me after Mari died.â The words just slipped outâautomatic, unfiltered. Hero flushed. He hadnât meant to say thatâprobably wouldnât have to anyone else, maybe not even to her if he was a better state.
âOh HeroâŠâ Zoey began quietly, but Hero cut her off with a fit of coughing that upset his blankets. Zoey pat his back again, but he could feel her tender hand running across his shoulders long after he had stopped coughing.
âZoeyâŠIâŠâ he began, hoping the words would come to him if he just started talking, but thankfully she cut him off.
âItâs okay. You donât have to explain anythingâunless of course, you want to,â she paused, blinking at him with a soft expression in her eyes. âBut I donât need explanations, especially not now when youâre sick.â
Hero sighed in relief, and hoped the look in his eyes would convey the gratitude he didnât quite have the strength to express at the moment. âThank you...â
âDonât mention it,â shrugged Zoey. âYou look tired. You want me to go?â
âYou can stay if you wantâmaybe watch a movieâŠ?â Â
Zoey smiled, but as she glanced over at the tv and shelves of tapes which, naturally almost all belonged to Kyle, she teased. âLet me guess: the choices are raunchy comedy or sports biopic?âÂ
Hero chuckled, lightly, breathily. Zoey certainly knew Kyle and his movie collection very well. He supposed he would expect that given how long the two of them had been friends. âWe rented The Godfather from Blockbuster.â
âThatâs not bad,â hummed Zoey. âBut if weâre talking about Brandoâs mob movies, On The Waterfront is better.â
A smile twitched in the corners of Heroâs mouth. âI have that one.â
âReally?â Zoey asked, her brow furrowing, and Hero nodded. âSo you really do like old black-and-white movies after all, huh? Here I was thinking you were all talk.â
Hero let out a few chuckling heavy breaths, then swallowed hard. Finally, he took a sip of water trying to cool the burning of his hoarse throat. âI only have a few tapes. Most are in color, but I have some black-and-white.â He pausedâshutting his eyes as he tried to clear his headâsifting through the fogginess to focus on his tape collection until he could picture it in the feverish haze of his mind. âCasablanca, Roman Holiday, Itâs A Wonderful Life, 12 Angry Men, Christmas in ConnecticutâŠâ
âYou do not have Christmas in Connecticut over there,â Zoey interrupted in disbelief.
Hero took a deep breath, but he nodded. âItâs on the bottom shelf.â
âIâve never met another person who has even heard of that movie,â laughed Zoey, but Hero just shrugged, pulling the quilt up around his shoulders again.
âItâs one of my favorites. Always makes me laugh. I love the scene where she tries to flip the flapjacks and the pancake sticks to the ceiling.â Hero laughed then, par for the course, coughed.
âItâs one of my momâs favorite movies too,â Zoey said as he handed him his water, giving him a firm but gentle pat on the back for good measure. âI used to wonder if that was because the main character falls in love with a navy guy.â
âLike your dadâŠ?â asked Hero, worrying only after the fact that it was a prying question. He didnât know much about Zoeyâs father except that he was an admiral in the navy, and, according to Kyle, particularly stern, serious, and somewhat frightening. Zoey, however, only shrugged.
âI donât know. I think my dad is a lot rougher around the edges than Jefferson Jones.â Her lips curved into a smile. âJeffersonâs pretty softâquite the catch actually: sincere, generous, kind, domesticâŠand he can play piano.â
Heroâs brow furrowed, and he stumbled in confusion, âIsâŠthat aâŠ?â
âPerk?â Zoey finished for him. Then she chuckled dryly and nodded. âYeah, I think so.â
âAre you just saying that because you know I can play?â asked Hero dryly, but his mouth twitched in the corners.
âYou know Iâve never actually heard you play before,â she teased back. âYou could be terrible. In which case, it wouldnât be a perk at allâmore like a deterrent.â
Hero chuckled lightly. âI probably am terrible. Iâm really rusty, and out of practice.â
âWell, weâll never know for sure will we.â Her mouth curved into a lopsided grin before her expression softened. âThough Scotty told me you used to be quite the pianistâhad a lot of fun with it. What did you used to play when you were in practice?â
âNothing too complicated. IâŠI think my favorite song to play was âVienna.ââ
âBilly Joel?â asked Zoey, and Hero hummed. âThat has a great piano part.â
âYeah itâs pretty fun. Iâve always been a fan.â
âI can see thatâŠâ teased Zoey glancing over at the stack of CDs on Heroâs bedside table. Cold Spring Harbor was on the topâprobably because Hero had been listening to a particular song on it on repeat. His face flushed as he thought about why, but he swallowed hard and shrugged his shoulders, trying his best to push the thought away.
âI used to annoy Kel with it a little, I think,â he admitted. âI played it over and over. He once threw a pillow at me while I was practicing and yelled âDonât you know any other songs?ââ Hero chuckled breathily, and Zoey laughed.
âWhen was the last time you played it?â
âI dunno. Itâs been yearsâŠhad to have been before Mari died.â He pausedâcatching his breath, but he kept talking, almost like he couldnât stop. âI havenât really played anything since then. I played a few bars on her piano before her family moved away, butâŠâ His voice hitched, and his chest achedâpanging in that all too familiar space in his heart that Mari had left behind. âYou know IâŠhonestly I learned to play piano because she loved it. I enjoyed it sureâit was fun, but MariâŠMari was the one who had real passion for music and I guessâŠI just wanted to be part of that. After she died, I justâŠI didnât want to play anymoreâdidnât want to play without her.â
Hero stoppedâhis face flushing. He hadnât meant to say all of that. Talking about Mari with Zoey was getting easierâclearly, but he wasnât sure if that was a good thing, just like he wasnât sure if he would have even said all of that if he hadnât been sick or feverish. He couldnât bring himself to look at her, to know that he made the smile disappear from her face, made something sad pass over her eyes.
âIâm sorryâŠâ he began to apologize. âI keep talking about herâŠâ Swallowing hard, he stared down intently at his quiltârunning his hands over the thoughtfully embroidered orange and yellow marigoldsâa symbol of hope, remembrance, a connection that endures even after death.
âItâs okay, HeroâŠâ said Zoey, quiet, gentle as she reached out to pat his hand. âAnd itâs okay if you never want to play piano again either. You donât have to. Itâs nothing to feel guilty about.â
Hero took a long breath, watching as Zoeyâs fingers slipped between his. He curled his hand catching hersâintertwining their fingers, holding on tightly to her. âIâd play for you if you wantedâŠâ
âI know you would,â Zoey replied with a tilt of her head and a kind smile. âAnd as much as I would love to hear you play piano, Iâd only want you to play because thatâs what you wantedânot because you felt obligated. Someday if you see a piano and you just feel like playing, I hope you will and then you can call me and play for me, but donât force yourself. It should be something that makes you happy, like it used to.â
Heroâs chest ached, but he managed the twitch of a bantering smile as he asked dryly, âHow else will I pay you back for taking care of me when I was sick?â
âOh, donât worry about that. Our debts are paid,â she insisted with a dismissive wave of her hand. âYou took care of me first remember, and besides Iâve already gotten my reward which is getting to see you in your grandpa pajamas,â she teased winking playfully at him.
âZoey!â Hero burst into a fit of laughter mixed with intense, nasty coughing.
âIf youâre going to have a coughing fit every time you laugh, do you really think we should watch this movie?â she quipped, but Hero shrugged.
âItâs fine. Iâm probably just going to fall asleep anyway.â
Chuckling, Zoey got up from her seat and put the tape into the VCR with a âOkay. Whatever you sayâ then she curled up on the edge of Kyleâs bedâpulling her knees to her chest as she leaned back into his mountain of throw pillows.
Hero chuckled a little himself before his weary eyes started drooping again. He had been right, of course. He started nodding off during the opening credits and was sound asleep before he even got anywhere close to his favorite flapjack scene. He wasnât sure if he had dreamed it or imagined it in a half-asleep daze, but he could have sworn that once the movie had ended, he had felt gentle fingers tangling in his hair as it was pushed out of his forehead and Zoeyâs voice whispering, âC.J.âs back now and will keep an eye on you, so Iâm going to head out. You take care of yourself, HenryâŠâ
*-*-*
Two Weeks LaterâŠ
âYou made it!â exclaimed Kel excitedly as Hero walked through the front door with his suitcase. Kel threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly.
âSorry it took so long,â Hero chuckled lightly as he scratched the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly.
âAre you feeling better at least?â asked Kel with a kind smile, and Hero nodded.
âYeahâŠI was only sick for a couple of days, and my friends looked after me.â Hero paused, meeting Kelâs eyes with an expression that said more than his words, âThanks for that, Kel.â
Kel flushed a little, but he laughed. So Hero had figured that out after all? He shouldâve expected that from his brother. He was always so smart. Luckily, he didnât seem to mind too much that Kel had meddled, not that heâd really tell him if he had. Still Kel smiled and teased, âHey, no problem. Youâre lucky I didnât drive up there myself.â Â
âYour father and I almost drove up too,â said their mom before she pulled Hero into another hug herself. âIt was horrible thinking of you so sick in the city all alone.â
Heroâs face softened, as he pulled away from their mother to look her in the eyes. âI was fine, Mom. Please donât worry.â
âHero! Hero! Wanna play zoo?â exclaimed Sally, twirling around him with her favorite plastic animal toys until he scooped her up into a hug.
âOf course, Sally, but uhâŠâ
âGive him a minute,â Kel interjected with a good-natured laugh. âHe hasnât even taken his coat off yet.
âOh let me take that,â said their dadâpatting Hero heartily on the back as he slipped his arms out of his coat. âItâs good to have you home.â
âGood to be home, Dad,â Hero replied with a kind smile.
âLet me take your bag upstairs,â exclaimed Kel reaching for the suitcase Hero had brought with him, but his brother reached out a hand to stop him.
âOhâŠyou donât have to do that. I can get it.â
Kel waved his hand at him. âDonât be silly. Itâs just upstairs. Come on. You can freshen up for dinner too.â
âI made all your favorites,â said Mom. âAnd I even ordered a hero sandwich for you from Ginoâs.â
Hero scratched the back of his neckâthe slightest tint of pink in his cheeks. âThanks, Mom, but you really didnât have to go through all that trouble.â
Kel snickered and was still snickering as Hero followed him up the stairs. âYou know Momâs just going to make a big deal out of every time you visit even if you tell her not to, right?â
Hero sighed conceding, âYeahâŠâ
As Kel opened the door to their room, he set Heroâs suitcase down on his bedâstill perfectly made from the last time he had visited, but as he turned back to his brother he paused, tilting his head curiously as he watched Hero staring wide-eyed at their old keyboard, pushed up against the wall next to the door.
âOh uhâŠyeahâŠwe found that when we were cleaning out the garageââ Kel shrugged, scratching the nape of his neck. âThought we might as well set it up again.â
âAre you going to start playing again?â Hero asked, and Kel laughed.
âNah. I donât think I can even read music anymore, but maybe Sally will want to. She likes to come in here and bang on it sometimesâdoesnât sound much like music though.â
Hero chuckled, but before he could say anything, Kel said, âOr you couldâŠif you wanted. I found a bunch of your old books and sheet music and stuff.â He motioned to a box on the ground near the keyboard, but he twisted his mouth to the side. He didnât want to seem pushy. He knew Hero hadnât played since Mari had died, and he probably wouldnât want to ever again. Kel supposed, it was just one of those things his brother just couldnât bring himself to do without Mari.
Kel sighedâblinking at Heroâs unreadable expression. Had it made him sad? He couldnât tell. Maybe he should have given him a heads up about the keyboard or hidden it in the garage or something while he was visiting?
âYeah. Thanks, Kel,â shrugged Hero, clearly putting this conversation to rest.
âWell uhâŠâ Kel began to stumble before his motherâs voice called for him.
âKel, can you come give me a hand for a minute?â
âSure, Mom!â he yelled before turning back to Hero with a somewhat helpless shrug of his shoulders. âHey, uhâŠIâll be right back okay?â
Hero nodded, and Kel disappeared through the doorway. He shook his head. Why did everything have to be so awkward?
Kel sighed, and his chest ached. He knew why. But he swallowed hardâpushing the thought away, focusing instead on helping his mom set the table. As he was setting out some silverware, he stopped abruptlyâhis ears perking up at the sound of distant music, a familiar progression of notes he recognized.
âDo you hear that?â gasped Kel in disbelief, but it seemed his mom could only blink at him with wide, surprised eyes as Sally gushed and giggled.
âSo pretty!â
Kel nearly dropped the silverware he was holdingâfumbling around with the forks and spoons until he finally dropped them in a disorganized heap on the table and raced up the stairsâthat all-too-familiar song growing louder and louder. As he burst through the door of his room, he could scarcely believe his eyes. Hero was sitting at the keyboardâhis hands gliding across the keys playing music again.
âHero?â Kel choked in a breathy disbelief which must have startled his brother because he stopped playing abruptlyâclearly bumping the wrong keys in surprise creating a dissonant chord.
âOh uhâŠsorryâŠâ he mumbled, his face flushing somewhat sheepishly as he fidgetedârecoiling his hands away from the keyboard. âI just uhâŠI saw the keyboard andâŠwanted to playâŠâ
Kel could only blink at him with wide, dark eyes. âYou wanted to play piano?â
Heroâs blush deepened, but he nodded. âYeahâŠuhâŠâ He scratched the back of his neck. âI know you donât really like that song but the music was on the top of the stack andâŠâ
His voice trailed, and Kelâs expression softened, brightening into a wide smile. He supposed Hero was right. Once, what felt like a lifetime ago, he had given his brother all kinds of grief for playing that particular song over and over, but in the years that had followed, he would have given anything to hear him play it one more time, would have given anything to hear him play again. And now that he hadnât heard it in so longânow that their room, their home had been quiet and empty for so longâŠ
âIâŠI can try to play something elseâŠâ Hero chuckled awkwardly, but Kel cut him off. Â
âNo, Iâve never been happier to hear anything in my whole life.â
Hero laughed lightly, and his mouth curved into a smileâa real one that reached his eyes.
Kelâs chest ached. He had missed that even more than the music. He rushed forwardâthrowing his arms around his brother and hugging him tightly, hoping that gesture would say more than his words ever could.
âKel!â Hero gasped quietly, leaning backward in surprise, his shoulders stiffening a little before he relaxed. He wrapped his arms around his brother, running his hand across his back as Kel pressed his chin to his shoulder.
Kel shut his eyes tightly, but he whispered with the brightest smile on his face, âItâs so good to have you back.â
He could feel the chuckle reverberating in Heroâs chest before his brother patted him on the head and whispered, âItâs good to be back.â
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