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I don’t have a favorite tro-
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The disgruntled man and his adoptive child (who is usually weirdly energetic)
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You can’t convince me this didn’t happen
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Losers’ night out
Eddie, drunk: HOW IS HE SO FUCKING HOT? Richie, also drunk: AND RESPECTFULLLLLLLLLLL? Stan, also also drunk: There’s something wrong with him - Bev, Ben, and Mike, also also also drunk: *join in with the ranting* Bill, the designated driver who they’re all talking about: Uh, guys?
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gentleman [five hargreeves x reader]
request: BABY, LOVEBUG, HONEYBEE, I HAVE A REQUEST.*cough* The gang has just gotten their ass kicked by the sparrows and are currently in the hotel lobby asking five what’s going on & how they’re going to fix it, something along the lines of: “Who we’re those guys?” “I don’t know”“What were they doing in our house?” “I don’t know.”“Five, come on. How do we fix this?” “I DONT KNOW”and then he gets all frustrated & is like “I just spent the last MONTH trying to save the world. TWICE” *yadda yadda goes on about his retirement* and he says “I’m going upstairs NOBODY FOLLOW ME.” and Y/N who hasn’t been saying anything up to this point is kinda sitting there minding there business and fiddling there thumbs or whatever and five comes back in and is like “Except for you, come with me” And grabs her by the wrist and leads her upstairs?? You can do whatever you want with it after that I just wanted something that starts off that way 🌝. (I WILL PAY YOU TO DO THIS PLEASE AMOUR 😭)
a/n: here it is bestie!!! hope it was what you wanted and even better!! i think it is the longest one i have written so far, but i really had fun with it! 
in case it’s not clear enough down as you read after Keep Reading, five and reader are physically aged up to 30, so they are around the same age as the others, mentally theyre still 58
this one has nothing to do with sweet aidan, so here’s a gif of timothee! well get back to aidan when we got more fluff
btw, this aint smut, but it does imply nsfw, so proceed with caution <3
summary: after losing to the sparrows, y/n and the hargreeves siblings regroup at the hotel obsidian, but five seems to not be in the mood for anyone else other than y/n
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You dragged your feet towards the vintage sofa of the peculiar hotel, holding unto your hurt side. These new kids Reginald Hargreeves decided to adopt over your friends had given you and the siblings a hard time, but you managed to get out alive nonetheless.
Alive with a trillion questions, but alive nonetheless.
“That was the most annoying beating I ever got,” You muttered, rubbing your side, “I spent more than half my life fighting for the Commission and none of the guys I had to take out were as arrogant and entitled as these Sparrow brats.”
“Amen,” The Hargreeves siblings nodded in agreement at your words, taking their seats on the sofas laid in the enormous lobby of the Hotel Obsidian Klaus had taken you to, saying that he ‘knows a place’.
When you turned 18, your parents decided your own future for you, so they figured following in their footsteps and joining the Commission would be the best thing for you. Forty years have passed since, and not only you became one of the best agents to walk in and out of the Commission, but fate had it so you’d be in 2019, in your 30 year old body, with your partner and his siblings, after having survived two apocalypses.
It was safe to say you learned at least two things by now; one, never complain about being 30 again, and two... Seriously, never complain about being 30 ever again.
“Luther, Diego and I scored three rooms, siblings dearest,” Klaus suddenly skipped towards you, Five, Allison and Vanya.
You watched the three men pretty impressed, considering you had just time traveled back to 2019 from 1963 and none of you had one dime on them, but you decided against questioning them any further, and instead let your head sink back into the cushions of the sofa.
“What do we do, Five?” Vanya asked her brother, so all the attention was shifted to the other 58 year old in his 30 year old body.
“I don’t know,” He sighed, rubbing his face tiredly, being the only one that was not seated.
“Well... we have to start somewhere,” Allison pointed out, “Who exactly are they?”
“I don’t know,” Five repeated his previous answer, pacing back and forth, with his hands still on his face.
“And why is Ben alive, with them, and not with us?” Klaus brought up another question, making everyone wait for an answer from Five.
“I don’t know,” He said once again, brushing his hand through his messy raven locks, “I don’t know.”
Five had an exact point in the floor he had been staring at, nothing else. You watched as he almost carved a hole through the floor with his back and forth pacing, with his mind flooded of unanswered questions. To say that Five was exhausted would be the understatement of the year, as he had spent his last 20 days successively trying to prevent the apocalypse, only to return home for good and find seven strangers.
One of which was a cube that handed you and Diego’s asses to each other. 
You let out a small grunt, shifting your position for a more comfortable one, as Luther wondered, “Why would dad prefer them over us?”
“I don’t know,” Five took in a deep breath, stopping in his tracks.
It almost looked as if one more question in his direction and he’d explode. In all fairness, you couldn’t blame him. You’d known him before these past 20 days- well, 20 days for him, for you it was five months since the first impending apocalypse of 2019. 
Before he dragged you alongside him to his family, you knew he spent 45 years all by himself in a post-apocalyptic timeline, before the Handler recruited him into the Commission and named him your new partner. You had known Five Hargreeves for a while, you had a brief history with him, seeing as he was your company on missions.
But never more, much to your dismay. 
In spite of his sarcastic and grumpy attitude, you loved him to bits, down to each flaw in particular. He’d get easily angry, he hated to repeat himself and he had little to no patience. But you didn’t care. This same man, who had a lot of blood on his hands, the same man, who had taken numerous lives... he was the same man who’d patch up your wounds on missions, who’d listen whenever the Handler would give you a hard time, who’d asked you to come with him to 2019 to his family.
You thought he wanted you to join him back to his family because he knew you didn’t agree with Doomsday, just like him, but the truth was he wanted you to come because he loved you just as much as you loved him and he couldn’t stand the idea of losing you.
In all his life, he had never met someone as human as you. You were flawed, you had made mistakes and each life you took was marked deep into your soul, but you always tried to better yourself. You were kind and good, generous, helpful and soft, even on missions. Even on the worst part of the mission.
Five viewed you as the one good thing in his life, but he was too terrified to mess it up by being true about his feelings. And to be fair, he didn’t even think the time was right. In the beginning, he would be too occupied with Commission tasks to tell you how he felt, then it was the two apocalypses and maybe the thought that he didn’t deserve to be happy, to have a life with you. Even if he was 30 again, he still felt like he had no future.
“What’s our next move?” Diego popped the big question, so you couldn’t help but raise your head from between the cushions to watch Five explode;
“I don’t fucking know!”
There it was.
In true old Five fashion, the man eyed each and every one of his siblings, as they all frowned at his burst, “I don’t fucking know!” He repeated, “I- I have no idea who those assholes were and why Reggie would pick them over us, and I sure as fuck don’t know what to do from now on! I need one fucking day off- no! You know what? Not even one day! Half a day! Twelve fucking hours off! Twelve fucking hours where I can finally relax for once in my life! Because guess what? I spent the last fucking month of my life trying to save the fucking world! Twice! Not once, fucking twice! So, please, for the love of god, stop asking me questions! I was there with you the entire time, I don’t have any more answers than you dumbasses do! I have no idea, I have no clue, no answer! I only know that I need a fucking break and I want to fucking retire. The sun is shining outside and the birds are chirping and I am pretty sure that those Sparrow dickheads won’t bring on the end of the world. So, three conclusions,” Five finally took in a deep breath, “One, I don’t fucking know,” He counted, “Two, I want to fucking retire and three, I’m going upstairs.”
“Five...” Vanya softly called out his name, as you all watched him turn his back to you.
“Nobody fucking follow me!” Five called out once again, before snatching a key to a room from Klaus’ hand and storming off towards the elevator.
You and the siblings stood in silence for a few seconds, exchanging looks. You felt like Five’s reaction was completely reasonable, as you and his siblings had a couple of months to calm down when you made the jump from 2019 to 1963. Even though it was shattering to each and every one of you, as you were obviously a part of the family to them, being separated from each other for so long was very hard. 
There were definitely ups and downs.
“I can’t believe Five said please,” You managed to say, seeing that none of the Hargreeves siblings had the courage to break the ice.
“Shut your piehole and come with me,” Five suddenly said, startling you guys.
You watched confused as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you off the sofa, dragging you with him to the elevator.
“Five!” You yelped, as the two of you entered the elevator.
Five Hargreeves had you pressed against the wall of the elevator as he pushed the button for the right floor, not once taking his eyes off you. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what caused this change of heart, since he swore to himself he’d contain himself around you, but maybe his burst made him realize what a big idiot he is for this. 
He just yelled at his siblings that he wants to retire and that he needs a break, there definitely is no apocalypse happening right now, so his fear of the future was the only thing standing in his way.
“Are you okay?” You asked him with a soft smile, holding unto your side with one hand, as with the other you were holding Five’s bicep.
“My siblings are as annoying as ever,” He sighed, one hand in his pants pocket, one rested above you on the wall.
Gosh, he has to know how fucking hot and handsome he is, you couldn’t help but think to yourself, as Five stood dangerously close to you. All messy and gruffy, with his classic three piece suit and tie. Well, now he had been left with his vest, since his blazer was either lost in the Sparrow Academy or left in 1963- you couldn’t remember and you didn’t care. He looked dangerously beautiful all roughed up in his white shirt rolled up to his elbows and the black vest that was hugging him in the right places. His tattoo was more visible now, still partly covered by his watch, but you couldn’t help but notice it as his hand was so close to your face.
A soft tint of pink covered your cheeks, as you tried to brush away those sinful thoughts of what those beautiful hands could have you weak right beneath him. Suddenly, you were too shy to even look at him anymore.
“Are you okay?” Five frowned, noticing as your head fell to the ground.
“Uh- yeah, yeah. It’s nothing, really,” You shook your head, “My side, kind of hurts, that’s all.”
“Let me see,” Five said, placing his hand on top of yours to remove it, “Jesus Christ, Y/N... that does not look good.”
“I am not sure how bad it looks, but I promise it’s not that painful,” You assured him with honesty, watching as he kept your shirt up to analyze the injury further, “I just need to clean it up, bandage it and I’ll be as good as new.”
“Let me help you,” Five offered, looking back at you with a small smile, “Like the old times.”
“Uh, sure,” You nodded your head, just as the elevator beeped, informing you that you had finally reached your floor.
You and Five left the elevator quietly, as you followed him around the big floor to the room. You tried to fight back any indecent thought of the man, but you couldn’t help yourself. Not only you fell in love stupidly with his personality, but you also fell head over hills for his aspect.
Why was he so hot? 
The way he carried himself, his tall and lean figure, his dark hair and emerald eyes. His dimples, his smile, his everything. Five Hargreeves was too pretty.
“Room 828,” Five muttered, as he stopped in his tracks, “Wonder what nuthouse Klaus brought us to this time.”
You scoffed, “It has a very interesting choice of interior design, but it’s not that bad.”
Five raised a brow at you amused, “Whatever floats your boat.”
“It’s not worse than the TV shop,” You pointed out.
“I happened to like the TV shop,” Five informed you with a smirk, as you two entered the room, “The only weirdos it hosted was us.”
“Fair point,” You shrugged your shoulders, examining the room.
You frowned at the green tropical wallpaper that conveyed the walls. The center piece of the dull room was one king sized bed in the middle, on each side with a nightstand and two lamps as well. The room was being lit by the two windows that showed the park, and a boring huge wardrobe took some more space of the room. The most interesting part of the room was the fireplace between the windows and the small coffee table and sofa in front of it. 
“It’s really not that bad,” You said, realizing that in hindsight, the room was pretty spacious.
“Did you know the bathroom is down the hall?” Five looked down at you amused, as you quickly turned to him in shock;
“No!”
“Yup.”
“No!”
“Yup.”
“Damn it!”
Five let a small chuckle escape his lips, watching your childish side come out for the first time in a long while. It was pretty reinvigorating to him, as he watched you pout, looking around the room for the toilet that you knew you wouldn’t find.
“I’ll get some wet towels,” Five reminded himself of the task at hand, “And bandages.”
You nodded, turning to the sofa. You took a place softly, as the pain in your side was still not letting you go. You took off your leather jacket, laying it on top of the sofa neatly. You laid on your back, lifting your black shirt to take a closer look at your wound.
During your fight with the Sparrows, you learned their Number 4′s ability the hard way. Empathetic Masochism.
Not knowing that he could inflict the hit you planted on him back to you, you gave the funny looking man the harshest kick to the side you could. That only ended in you stumbling back, as a huge bruise was forming on top of your stitches from 1963, when the Swedish brothers almost got you.
So that was bleeding again.
The door opened again, but you didn’t even bother to turn, knowing already that it was Five who was back, “You wanna talk about it?” You asked, finally looking away from your wound.
“About what?” Five asked, walking towards you with the promised wet towels and bandages, placing them on the coffee table.
“Your wellbeing?” You suggested with a raised brow, “By the way, I think I am gonna need a new set of stitches.”
“Figured,” Five said, reaching in his pocket for a box of surgical needle and thread.
“Of course you were one step ahead of me,” You smirked, watching him put the box on the table and grab the towel.
“Off with it,” Five gestured towards your shirt.
“Excuse you?”
“Come on, Y/N, I was the one who sewed up that wound last time, so it wouldn’t be the first time I see you half naked,” Five rolled his eyes.
“A true gentleman,” You rolled your eyes, sitting up from the sofa, “Your ex’s must have been treated like princesses.”
Five was all in for your teasing, all the time. So, he was not mad when he heard your words, more like amused. He smirked, watching you roll your eyes this time, going in for the hem of your shirt. He stepped closer to you, almost pressing his own body to yours, grabbing your hands in a gentle move.
“Wh-What are you doing?” You asked, feeling the pink shade return to your cheeks.
“Being a gentleman,” He said, not once letting go of his infamous smirk.
Five tucked his hands beneath your shirt, pulling it over your head as slowly and gently as he could. When his fingertips brushed against your skin even for a mere second you knew you’d be ready right then and there to melt in his touch. 
Five let your shirt fall somewhere around the sofa, brushing his fingers through your hair as it had been messed up in the process. You closed your eyes, unconsciously leaning into his hands, enjoying this moment maybe more than you should. In spite of Five’s confident act, his heart was beating almost out of his chest. He had taken care of your wounds before, but not like this. Clean and stitch you up, make you laugh to help you ignore the pain and take your mind off it. 
But this time it was different and you both knew it.
“You’re still not off the hook, you know,” You said, re-opening your eyes to find the man looking at you with the most genuine smile he had ever given you, “Five?”
“You’re a pain in the ass, did you know that?” He shook his head turning around to grab the wet towel, “Always bothering me to talk about my feelings.”
“Well, I am sorry I don’t want you to explode because of all the emotions you bottle up,” You raised a brow at him cockily, “Oh wait, you did.”
“Like I said, my siblings are annoying,” Five lightly shrugged his shoulders, kneeling in front of you.
“Five?” You gulped, watching him on his knees in front of you, so dangerously close to your area.
“Y/N?” He looked up at you, pretending like he didn’t know what he was doing to you. He knew, he knew how hot and bothered he was getting you at the moment, and maybe that’s what he wanted.
That’s what his aim was, dragging you with him upstairs.
Now the question was, how did you feel about it?
“You have to understand they are confused,” You tried to brush off the fuzzy feelings, as Five started cleaning your wound, “I am confused, Five. You’re the man with all the answers.”
“Well, this time I am not,” Five’s voice softened, “This time, I need to lay in bed and put my thoughts in line. It’s been a while since I’ve done that,” He sighed, “I know I have superpowers and I am not a normal person, but I am still human... I still need a break... I still need to lay in bed and... breathe.”
You watched Five with a small smile. Your heart ached to see him so exhausted, even though you were happy to finally hear him open up and get to know what was going on inside that genius head of his.
“It’s alright, Five,” You said, making him look up at you, “You deserve a break,” You added, tangling your hands in his messy hair, as a feeling of safety and relaxation suddenly flooded him, “Out of all of us, you’re the one that needs it most. You tried your best to keep your family safe and the world, and you finally succeeded... well, one way or another. The Sparrows are not that big a deal, they’ll be handled.”
“You’re always such an optimist,” Five shook his head amused, returning to your wound, “Always know the right thing to tell me.”
“Always,” You smiled a soft whisper, watching Five put down the towel and reach for the needle and thread.
“You ready?” He asked you, preparing his utensils.
“This ain’t my first stitch-up, Five,” You scoffed, and maybe you would’ve also crossed your arms sassily if the man’s hair wasn’t so soft and calling you out to never let go of it.
“Still being a gentleman,” He reminded you, beginning to officially tend to your old wound.
You always loved being touched by him, whether it was a slight tap on the shoulder, knees touching by mistake, or full-on tight hugs, your head on his shoulder or even an arm linked around his. Whatever type of touch it was, it always made you feel safe. Like a guarantee that he is here and nothing could ever happen. Even though you were a strong, skilled woman by yourself, the love you carried for Five Hargreeves made you feel as if nothing could ever go wrong when you’re in his presence. Ironically enough, all that while there were two apocalypses impending and even before those the dangerous missions you were assigned to by the Commission.
In spite of all that, your mood would always change in Five’s company. 
“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?” You spoke up, watching as Five was done with your wound, finally putting a big bandage over it.
He looked up at you, watching your serious face, “I’m guessing you will now.”
“I appreciate you, Five,” You ignored his sassy butt, “More than you could ever imagine.”
“I appreciate you too, Y/N,” He smiled softly, resting his hands on your waist, “And I’m very glad you tagged along with me to 2019.”
Before getting up to his feet, Five leaned in and placed a loving kiss on your bandage, making your stomach knot in all possible ways and your heart flutter like never before. He stood up and stepped even closer to you, cupping your face, causing your heart to beat even faster into your chest, so fast that you thought he could hear it. Five looked into your eyes, as if he was looking for something, but you were not quite sure what. 
This was a new side of Five you had yet to discover. New, but familiar. It felt like you had never seen this... almost vulnerable side of him, while at the same time being sure that this was still the same sassy and cocky asshole you grew to love more than anything.
You placed your hands, on his own, encouraging him wordlessly to move further. Five picked up on your intentions, leaning in, painfully slow. On one hand, maybe he was trying to tease you, but on the other he was just as nervous and scared as you were.
“I want you,” He whispered in a low tone, millimeters away from your lips.
“I’m yours,” You declared, and that was all it took for Five to find the courage to ravish you.
He closed the distance between the two of you, crashing his lips against yours in the long awaited kiss. Your hands immediately found their way back into his hair, as the kiss was getting deepened by the second. It felt so sweet and savory at the same time, as love and lust were getting mixed. You were finally getting that kiss with Five you were so desperately aching for and it was even more perfect than you could ever imagine.
Your bodies pressed against one another, as Five grabbed your thighs, lifting you up without breaking the kiss once. 
“Can you maybe not be a gentleman for the next hour?” You whispered, as Five carried you towards the bed.
He couldn’t help his smirk, as he climbed on top of you, “Gladly.”
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I would like to boop his nose and then gently place a kiss on it.
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Hawkins you didn't deserve eddie munson
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SEASON 3: five in every episode: 3.08 - wedding at the end of the world
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no duo will ever hold the same chaotic energy as klaus and five and that’s facts
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hey, I don't mean to be rude, and trust me you don't have to post this one out there or something. I just wanted to tell you that in your fivexreader fic, "retirement", you used viktor's dead name.
I understand that it might just be a silly and out-of-habit mistake. but could you change it?
I know it seems silly to protect a fictional character like this but as a trans person myself, the presentation of viktor was one of the clearest and most representative things, and I, myself relate to him loads and it hurts when people don't acknowledge it.
hi! I didn't mean to be rude or insensitive for using viktor's old name, I did question myself when writing, but I only used his old name because the scene I had in mind for the fic happened in the tv show before the transition! I apologize if it came off as ignorant, I absolutely loved that the writer's wrote on Elliot's transition as I love him as an actor personally and Viktor finally getting to be himself was truly one of the best parts of the season
i was inspired for "retirement" by the scene at the end of the first episode where five luther klaus and diego were having chinese and we had the iconic line of the Luther mountain hehe, which was before the transition
but I shall change it!
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hurt [five hargreeves x reader]
request: Hello! Could you do a Protective Five Hargreeves x reader, where the reader get's hurt during a battle and when they get back to the academy, Five decided to confront the reader. They have an argument about the reader getting hurt and you can decide the rest of the plot.
this is set in the first ep of s3, so i switched it up a bit
summary: after a not so pleasant meeting with the sparrow academy, y/n gets badly hurt and five isn’t having any of it
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“Rude!” You yelled at the girl, leaning back to dodge yet another venomous spit she tried to throw at you, “Leave my hair out of this, I come from the sixties, what did you expect?”
The girl lunged towards you with her fists ready after making yet another snarky remark at your 1963 hair, which you decided to brush off this time and instead block her attack with the nearest expensive painting you could find.
This morning you were in 1963 at a farm, trying to save the world with the Hargreeves siblings, and now you were standing in what used to be the Umbrella Academy - except that now it goes by Sparrow Academy, in 2019, trying to defend yourself from a chick who can’t stop spitting black venom at you.
“Did you also leave your boobs in the sixties?” Ben smirked, as he got thrown to the floor near you by Five.
“Oh, you did not go there!” You squinted your eyes at him, dodging the girl’s attack, maybe a bit sidetracked.
If you had a nickel for every time someone commented on your teen appearance, even though your consciousness was 58 years old... you’d have three, which is not much, but it’s weird three separate people commented on your chest even though you look fourteen.
“Y/N, focus!” Five yelled at you, blinking away from Ben, whose tentacles were ready to grab him.
“Easy for you to say, no one’s picking on your chest!” You yelled at your partner, finding the opportunity to punch Ben in the face, before leaning back to avoid the spit girl’s foot.
“She does make a valid point!” Klaus sided with you, running randomly with Diego on top of a cube on his tracks;
“I’m your daddy!” Diego yelled at the cube that was shooting lasers around the academy.
“What in the...” You wondered, looking at your friends, but before you knew it, your face was harshly met with the floor, “Son of a bitch!”
You rolled on your back, clutching your nose in pain. Blood poured from your nose, as you let out a series of curse words under your breath. Last time you broke your nose was in 1857, on a task for the Commission and it also was your was task alongside Five.
You lifted your head, watching Ben retract his tentacles with a proud smirk. So it was he who pushed you into a faceplant, huh?
“I’ve spent a lot lesser time with the other Ben, but I know for a fact I prefer him,” You said, jumping to your feet, “You’re done, asshat.”
Ben looked at the girl with a venomous spit, as she walked next to him, crossing her arms. Two on one does not sound that good, but heck, you were a trained assassin, you could handle two jerks with... superpowers...
You took your fighting stance, as Ben made one of his tentacles lunge at you, but before it could touch you, Five blinked next you and quickly got you out of there, blinking you both upstairs.
“Hey, I could’ve handled myself!” You yelled at him, watching as he rolled his eyes;
“You’re gonna get yourself killed, Y/N,” Five calmly told you, “I know you’re a skilled assassin, but these guys are ruthless and have superpowers. This is way out of your league.”
“Take it back right now before I punch you in the face,” You told Five, stepping closer to him, “You don’t get to tell me that! I fought so many times alongside you, we saved the world two times and don’t forget I have been in the Commission a lot longer than you!”
“These guys are too dangerous!” Five said, making you roll your eyes.
“Big deal, Ben broke my nose, it wouldn’t be the first time my nose breaks-” You waved him off, “What do you care so much?”
“There you went, girlie,” The girl with the venomous spit suddenly said, walking up the stairs, “Didn’t know you were a runner.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Ben added, following her close.
You and Five exchanged looks with a sigh, before each taking on an opponent.
Ben’s tentacles had already lunged towards you, so you figured this battle was between you and him. You jumped back, picking a vase off a near table, hitting him across the tentacle, as he yelped in pain. You took this as an opportunity to attack further and planted a series of kicks and fists at him, managing to push him back.
You felt like you had the upper hand on your one on one with Ben, which made you smile to yourself. You had no idea what had got into Five, since he never acted like that around you. Granted, this was the first time in a long while since you got hurt, but a broken nose is not that big of a deal, you could handle it. 
Somewhere deep down you knew Five had his fair share of being right, it was like you were fighting one of his siblings. You had never went into battle against someone with superpowers, so maybe yeah, this was a bit too much for you, but you knew you could handle yourself.
You kicked Ben in the stomach, throwing another punch at his face. You smirked victoriously as he stumbled back, but that didn’t last long, as the venomous girl pushed you down the stairs after punching Five in the face.
“I hate these pricks...” You mumbled, unable to speak any louder as your whole body was officially in excruciating pain.
“Y/N!” Luther called out, as he had witnessed the scene, “Y/N!”
“I think we should go...” You stated the obvious, as the big guy scooped you up as fast and gentle as he could.
After you and the Hargreeves siblings made it alive out of the Sparrow Academy, you guys decided to lay down and rest for a moment in Central Park. Each and every one of you was beat up, but unfortunately you were the one that was the most exhausted.
“I can’t feel my legs,” You muttered, as Luther placed you on a bench by yourself to have all the space.
“Well, that didn’t go well,” Diego simply said, looking over the pond.
“We’ve had better,” Five said, looking over at you.
“Urgh, cracking,” Klaus cracked his back.
“You alright?” Allison asked Luther, who was staring into nothingness, clearly shaken.
“I don’t know yet,” He said, “I just never had my ass handed to me.”
“Tell me about it,” You sighed, clutching onto your shoulder, “I think the spitter put me in timeout for a while.”
“Told you so,” Five crossed his arms, making you roll your eyes at him, “I literally warned you like five minutes before that.”
“Oh, stick a sock in it, asshole,” You flipped him off, making the rest of the siblings gasp, as they watched you two banter back and forth.
“Now you might have broken a few ribs and your nose,” Five continued, “Was it worth it?”
“Since when do you care so much?” You asked, “Huh? Why do you care so much about my well-being all of a sudden?”
“You know what, Y/N? This is pointless, I don’t have time for this,” Five waved you off, “What is our next move?”
He turned back to speaking with his siblings as they were all watching the two of you baffled. It was not unlike you two to argue, but this fight was... different. Maybe you failed to notice, but his siblings knew he was acting like this because he was worried sick for you. 
Five never admitted it, but even though he respected you a lot and admired your skills in battle, each time he would see you get the tiniest of injuries he would get so worried. And now, against the Sparrows, he knew it was too much for you. 
You guys figured it would be best to lay low for now and find a place, so you decided to follow Klaus who said he knew a place.
“Are we gonna talk about it?” You asked Five, as the two of you remained behind his siblings.
Five turned to look at you clutching onto your side, unsure of what to do or say, as you were trying to keep a pace with him. He stopped with a sigh, wrapping one arm around your waist, as you placed your arm on his shoulder.
“Ever since I met you, you’ve been like this,” Five said, “Skilled both with guns and hand to hand, but easily distracted and so reckless. The Handler told me you’re one of her best, in spite of the childish way you act.”
“Each time we went on a mission we didn’t know if we’d return,” You lightly shrugged, “So why not go down in a good mood?”
“Or why not go down at all?” Five suggested, smirking down at you.
“Five,” You sighed, unsure of how to phrase it, “I’ve been with the Commission for twenty years and if I learned anything from any fight is that I’m lucky to be alive. You never know when you could die, so why not cherish every moment?”
“Well, I can’t cherish moments like these, seeing you hurt,” He mumbled, making you raise your brows curiously, “Yeah, you heard me, Y/N.”
“Well, instead of seeing it as me being hurt, see this moment as I am fine, alive, by your side,” You said, carefully snaking your arm around his, “Now I see why you got your panties in such a bunch, since you’re so infatuated with me.”
“You’re more annoying than my siblings,” Five said, intertwining your fingers, as the two of you followed the rest of his siblings to Hotel Obsidian.
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retirement [five hargreeves x reader]
a/n: hi guys! it’s been a while hehe, so i hope ull enjoy this short x reader with the one and only five yall know i love sm, homeboy did not disappoint this season neither lmao. season 3 just premiered and i already have finished it:( 
can i just say
WHAT THE ACTUAL FVUCK
either way, id b happy to discuss with yall opinions and such and also feel free to leave requests! 
ill leave warnings at the beginning of each imagine if it shall be the case
i.e. this imagine takes place right in the first episode!!
also, forgive my english, havent really spoken in a while and dont even get me started on the writing 
enjoy besties!
summary: now that the second apocalypse is over, five and y/n can finally retire and maybe finally make their moves?
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“You know, Five... Sometimes I do wish I’d never met you,” You took a sip from your wine, watching as the preteen in question rolled his eyes playfully at you.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a delight as well, Y/N,” He nonchalantly dismissed you, continuing to eat his Chinese takeout.
After surviving not one, but two apocalypses alongside Five Hargreeves and his siblings, you guys wound up back in your timeline, only to find out your trip to the 60s caused some changes in the present, such as Sir Reginald Hargreeves deciding against adopting Luther, Diego, Klaus, Ben, Allison, Viktor and Five, and instead some seven other dickheads with superpowers.
Your encounter was far from pleasant. 
Six months ago you were planning to retire from the Commission, since you were almost sixty and had had your fair share of missions, so you figured one last task with your partner, Five, would be the good way to end things. Well, one thing led to another and instead of taking out JFK, you woke up in 2019, in your preteen body, in an unknown backyard with unknown people, who turned out to be your partner’s siblings.
One thing led to another and you guys bonded over the span of 10 days in an attempt to save the world, but that is a story for another time. 
After those 10 days, you time traveled once again and woke up in 1963, alone, in a school. Some teacher found you and took you in, thinking you were a lost 13 year old girl, but then again, that is a story for another time.
Six months passed until you reunited with the Hargreeves siblings in yet another attempt to save the world.
Two more weeks and you were back in 2019, but things did not go according to plan. 
“Still don’t understand how you two have not banged yet,” Klaus shook his head disappointed, as Diego and Luther couldn’t help but not in agreement.
You tried not to blush, but Klaus’ bluntness always got the best of you. Spending this time with Five on top of being a teen again took a toll on you. You’ve known Five for long before the apocalypse. When the Handler recruited him, she trusted you to be his partner, since you were basically her right hand. The bickering was there even back then, but these past six months you started seeing him with different eyes, in a different light.
“I’d rather choke on chopsticks,” You were quick to deny any indecent thought, “You’re sick, by the way.”
“And you’re sixty, so bye,” Klaus smirked, hopping from his stool.
“Too retired to even bother,” Five shrugged his shoulders, watching as his two other brothers followed Klaus.
“I’m gonna get more food,” Luther lightly shrugged his shoulders, making his way to the buffet.
“I refuse to third wheel 13 year olds,” Diego stated, scratching the back of his neck.
You watched confused as the three men all left the table, leaving you alone with Five, who did not seem bothered at all. 
“I’ll never get used to your brothers,” You shook your head, taking another sip from your wine, “You people are too much.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Five scoffed, watching as you were playing with your glass.
“So, retirement, huh?” You changed the subject, “What are your plans now that the world is safe?”
“I didn’t think much of it, to be honest,” Five shrugged, “Weren’t you supposed to retire after the JFK mission? What did you have in mind?”
You smiled softly, looking at your wine, “I was gonna buy a mansion in Italy, 1970s or so... maybe get a dog and cat, start producing my own wine... I don’t know, I didn’t plan much.”
“Of course there’s a lot of wine in your retirement plans,” Five smirked, as you playfully smacked his arm, “Ow!”
“You’re officially banned from visiting me in Italy,” You stated, biting back a chuckle.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to anyway,” Five lightly shrugged his shoulders, not once dropping his smirk, “Besides- you wouldn’t last a day without me.”
“Excuse you?” You scoffed, placing your hand on top of your chest for a more dramatic effect, “Last I checked, you were the one who dragged me along this whacky adventure.”
“Yeah, ‘cause I knew you’d be devastated at the Commission without me,” He replied with the same cocky air as usual, which made you ponder on the situation.
Is this Five’s way of flirting with you? During the time you spent together ever since operation Doomsday started back in the original timeline of 2019, there may have been a few... interesting moments to say the least. Like when he first opened up to you about being worried sick for his siblings, or when he gave you the tightest embrace after reuniting with you in 1963. There was also that time when you two held hands on your way to meet his father. 
Moments like these that you couldn’t help but cherish with utmost happiness, but not once letting yourself get sidetracked. There was an apocalypse going on, neither of you had time for this.
But now?
Now there’s no apocalypse anymore. Granted, there still are some issues that would be best to fix, but it’s not like they’d bring the end of the world if not.
So, why not?
“If I didn’t know you any better, Five Hargreeves,” You smirked, leaning in closer to the boy, with your glass of wine in one hand, “I’d say you are flirting with me.”
Five shook his head amused, watching you sip your precious wine so close to him. If the wine was intoxicating you, you definitely were the one intoxicating him. It took him some while before he could accept that he had feelings for you, but he couldn’t say either that he was surprised when he realized.
He really felt like you were absolutely perfect, no doubt in his mind. 
“And would that bother you?” Five raised a brow, resting his arm on the back of your chair, leaning in even closer.
“I can’t say it would be unpleasant,” You set down your wine, curious to see where this would go.
“You’re such a tease, Y/N,” Five rolled his eyes, “But... I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
“Will you just kiss me already?” You sighed, watching a genuine smile appear on his lips, as he leaned in, connecting your lips at last.
You cupped his face, melting into the long-awaited kiss. On one hand, you couldn’t believe this was finally happening, and on the other hand, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. You and Five were finally done with apocalypses, trying to save the world and the Commission. 
You could officially both retire.
“Does this mean I can visit you in Italy?” He whispered, as you two pulled away from the kiss, but still painfully close to one another.
“Ah, who can’t last a day without the other now?” You smirked, pulling him into another kiss.
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hey love, hope you’re having a wonderful day!! do you take requests for umbrella academy??
sure!! I just started watching season 3 lmao can't wait for the requests!
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Mister. Would you like to play a game with me?
Gong Yoo in SQUID GAME | 오징어 게임 (2021)
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Col via Twitter 🖤😂
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‘smoking beers & drinking weed’ -JJ 
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Best of: Brenda Meeks, Scary Movie 1–4 (2001–2006)
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Posted this on my ig (mika_lavenders_art) and I decided I would post it here too! Really happy with how this turned out
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