ifiwereafish

[ifiwereafish]

#shitpost #ur a queue tee

[ifiwereafish]

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

#ME AND THEM

[ifiwereafish]

and for writing

I had a tattoo client ask if I ever used AI to design tattoos for me. Man I spent the better part of a decade doing shitty bit work as a graphic designer and now that I have the space to do whatever I want, I'm gonna let the computer generate random garbage for me? What next should I have a computer that eats my dinner and fucks my wife?

[ifiwereafish]

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

[ifiwereafish]

AAAAAAAAAAAA

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #SCREAMING #IM SO EXCITED #RM2 IS COMING #NSKHENAUISKFJOWEAS #bts #rm #namjoon #bts army #kim namjoon

[ifiwereafish]

it feels like a lot of "progressive" online spaces have really latched onto this ooo boykisser pastel stockings kitty femboy image of GNC men and i have to admit i have concerns about how those spaces would respond to GNC men who either can't or simply don't want to look like that

[ifiwereafish]

randomly remembering the time in 2012 when everyone kept saying the world was going to end at midday that day and like, i didnt really believe it, but i didnt want to be a complete fool if i was wrong, so i excused myself from class to go sit the field and perfectly timed the beat drop to a skrillex song just in case something happened. and im just. retroactively amused by the idea of ushering in the appocalypse with skrillex. most 2012 thing you could possibly do.

[ifiwereafish]

AAAAAA I LOVE MINE SO MUCH. SO GENDER. AND FIRE POWERS. AND FLOWERS.

THIS IS DEFINITELY GONNA BECOME A SELF-INSERT OC SOON (MAYBE IN THE DND CAMPAIGN I'M MAKING??)

ALSO i know this looks like i'm about to arson the greenery. i'm not, don't worry

tagging!! @riverthebooknerd @axsdeo @jingle-my-jangle <333

Tagged by my homie @scalproie (we haven’t spoken much but you’re rad, I love you❣️)

Links are Here and Here if you’re interested

I curse @ladywolfguard @reefs-n-relaxation @brainnuts @shadowtasticpoo @claudioseraph @bakugou-kacchan @marsinsane and anyone else that’s interested in this tag game! Happy placement/doll making <3

#m's blog #m's ramblings

[ifiwereafish]

Passover Funk - "Uptown Funk" PARODY

My granny, a religious Jew, used to send me these two videos, every passover, without fail, even when my grandfather died, even when she got cancer, it is passover, and you are gonna laugh from this stupid song, and this stupid sketch

This one is for you granny, love you, and miss you so much❤️

[ifiwereafish]

[ifiwereafish]

everyone deserves to see this

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

[ifiwereafish]

LITERALLY. IT IS 41 DEGREES HERE AND ALL I NEED IS MY SWEATER.

[ifiwereafish]

please. someone. please write this

Annabeth breaking up with Percy after HoO because the Misery thing freaked her out and after the war she finally had the time to look back on it and process how scared she was and her panic is just "get away get away" and she just needs a break to get past it and Sally having Estelle and clearly she loves Percy still but she also has Paul and a new kid now and she seemed painfully resigned to Percy being cast into another war and so he's just clawing at Grover, begging loudly and near violently for him not to leave him like everyone else, on the verge of suicide, and Grover promising he won't but Percy doesn't believe him even as he calms down because people leave, they leave, they leave, they leave, he's broken and horrible and disgusting and they leave and Grover has Juniper and Lord of the Wild duties and he'll leave just like everyone else and what's the point of life anymore if everyone he loves is just going to leave?

[ifiwereafish]

needed this today WTF

do it for her (your thirteen year old self)

[ifiwereafish]

i would take the mambas. while i absolutely HATE eye contact and never do it, i can't control my facial expressions very well. BUT i love snakes so i'm not scared of them, and i can run. fast.

or i can just make a rube goldberg machine out of mall stuff that'll trap the mambas and hope for the best.

#m's blog

[ifiwereafish]

If you dare come at me about banning straws, I will throw you into the sun cannon. I’m disabled, I’m crippled, I need disposable plastic straws, and all those pricey ridiculous alternatives aren’t working as well. Plastic straws were invented for the disabled.

Way to shit all over a vital access need because you think straws are worse than corporate greed.

We all care about the turtles, the seals, the oceans, obviously. Notice how the easiest thing to yell about was something that would barely affect anything but appealed heavily to emotional discourse.

The disabled community is huge, and it can be joined by anyone. Most of those As Seen On TV products were invented for us. Society still mocks us and ignores us, and often outright harms us in multiple ways.

Communicate better. Listen better. But stop putting us out in the cold because you are inconvenienced by our simplest needs.

[ifiwereafish]

this is the equivalent to cat loaf

I love the rare instances where you get to see just how box shaped the bluey dogs are.

like... that's not a dog that's a bread

#bluey #bluey cartoon