ill-sleep-when-im-dead

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Reblog to kill it faster

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

fem buggy..... again

#one piece #buggy the clown #THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AHHH #SHES SO PRETTY!!!!

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Title: Changes

Chapter: 11/?

Word count: 5875

Warnings: Crocodile, panic attacks, and Buggy's back to thinking his suicidal thoughts.

Chapter except:

Buggy has honestly never met a more infuriating man in his life. Crocodile is so cryptic and hard to please at times, and Buggy just… Whatever. He doesn’t care. He’d just be wasting his time if he gets annoyed by Crocodile. He finishes what little work he has left and then sighs in content afterwards, “Okay, i’m all done.” He announces to Crocodile who for some reason looks slightly disappointed…? Is that the right way to describe his face right now? It doesn’t matter, he asks Crocodile if there’s anything else he wants Buggy to do while he’s still around, and Crocodile shakes his head in response. “...No, that’s it…Thank you.” Thank you? Did Crocodile just say…

Buggy glances over at Crocodile, and he’s unsure of how he’s even supposed to respond at a time like this, “...What…?” He asks.

 

“....Thank you…” Crocodile repeats quietly. 

|Ch1|Ch2|Ch3|Ch4|Ch5|Ch6|Ch7|Ch8|Ch9|Ch10|

Contrary to popular belief, Buggy is actually a leader and has a crew of men to oversee. He can't afford to spend his entire day organizing and cleaning up Crocodile's mess from the past couple of weeks, and yet, that's the exact situation Buggy finds himself in. Instead of letting Buggy run his island like he should be doing right now, Crocodile keeps him holed up in the meeting room all morning and well into the afternoon. 

It's awkward and stressful, and Buggy hasn't been able to relax for even a minute. Every little move or sound Crocodile makes causes that feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach to grow worse, and every part of him is telling him to get the hell out of the meeting room, and fast before Crocodile’s mood can turn sour, and he ends up hurting him again. 

And yet, Buggy remains seated uncomfortably close to Crocodile. He wants to leave more than anything in this world, but he can’t muster up the courage to do so. They sit in silence for the most part, with the occasional sounds of Crocodile yawning or lighting up yet another cigar and exhaling deeply, but Buggy didn’t expect to chat and gossip all day with Crocodile. He’s actually glad things are somewhat still normal between the two. Crocodile seems less hostile, sure, but that’s probably because he’s just exhausted. 

It’s not enough for Buggy to simply put away all the documents and folders on the table, no, Crocodile wants things organized into three separate categories: Business plans, contracts, and intel, and anything else can be considered miscellaneous and can be properly organized later. On top of that, he wants all the documents in the boxes on the floor looked through and properly sorted as well, and he even wants all the boxes properly labeled. It’s a lot, and Buggy still doesn’t know how Crocodile managed to clutter up the meeting room in such a short amount of time, but he doesn’t question it, he simply gets to work, starting with organizing all of the data and information Crocodile has somehow managed to compile over the course of god knows how many days, weeks, months, or even years.

To make matters worse, occasionally Galdino stops by even though Crocodile said that Galdino had other important things to do and that he couldn’t get him to do his bullshit tasks for him instead, and whenever he does, he’s always overly nice, and extremely dedicated to Crocodile as always. He brings him frequent cups of coffee, but never offers Buggy anything, hell, he doesn’t even look in Buggy’s direction, and part of Buggy wants to call Galdino out again, but it’s pointless. 

So much for being friends.

It’s around three in the afternoon when Crocodile finally breaks the silence between them, “Hey… why don’t you go get lunch?” He suggests quietly. It’s a little late for lunch, but Buggy’s sure that he could get a couple of his men to fix him something up. He is a little hungry, and he’s so damn tired of looking at papers. He’s been organizing Crocodile’s crap all day, and he’s hardly made any progress, but he thinks he’s gotten at least the intel part of his filing done, or at least he hopes he does. Crocodile didn’t ask for any, but Buggy really thinks they need to invest in some file cabinets. He didn’t think they’d need any before, but after seeing just how many documents Crocodile has, he thinks they definitely need them now.

Buggy finally stands up again after sitting for hours and hours without hardly moving. His back hurts slightly, but he doesn’t dare complain to Crocodile, he just wants to get the hell out of here, and is about to do just that when Crocodile speaks up again, “And come back after lunch, okay?” He orders.

Jeez, can’t they just call it a day? Buggy still has other things he has to do, most of which are for Crocodile himself, he really doesn’t want to have to come back here and do more filing. He holds back a groan and gives Crocodile a small nod, “Sure thing…” He mutters, and after that, he makes his leave.

“Be back in thirty minutes, Cl… Buggy!” Crocodile calls out to him just before he can get too far away, and Buggy cringes slightly now that he’s out of Crocodile’s view.

Well, there goes his appetite.

 

This sucks. Thirty minutes isn’t enough time away from Crocodile. Usually, he only spends an hour, maybe two hours tops with Crocodile during meetings and afterwards he has all day to recover. Yet today he’s just supposed to stay all day with him or most of the day with him and only get a thirty-minute break to mentally recover? God, what did he do in his past life to deserve this? 

Buggy decides to skip lunch altogether. He hates to admit it, but Crocodile’s right. The crew have been living more or less off Sea King these past couple of weeks, and Buggy isn’t in the mood to have any today, or really eat in general anymore, so instead he takes a walk around the island in an attempt to clear his mind a little bit.

He greets and waves at various members of his crew as he walks by them, and every time he sees one of his men sitting around or goofing off, Buggy once again wonders why Crocodile couldn’t have one of them do his dirty work. Buggy’s sure, no, he’s positive that any one of his men would eagerly organize and file all of Crocodile’s important documents, but nooo, of course, Buggy has to be the one to do it.

It just doesn’t make any sense… But whatever. 

As he continues his little stroll, eventually he ends up running into Alvida, who grabs him by his elbow and pulls him to the side. “Hey! What was going on last night with you and Hawkeye?” She asks, and Buggy can see the curiosity shining brightly in her big brown eyes. She looks around before leaning forward and lowering her voice slightly, “Are you two… you know?” Are they what? Buggy thinks, frowning.  

“No, I don’t know. Just what exactly are you asking right now?”

“You know…”

“No, I don’t know!” 

Alvida sighs loudly. She looks around again, almost as if the two of them are discussing something they shouldn’t be right now before whispering to Buggy again, “Dating, or maybe hooking up?” she asks in a tiny voice, chuckling afterwards. “C’mon, you can tell me, I won’t tell a soul.” 

Buggy’s eyes damn near pop out of his skull and, despite his devil fruit powers, those are some of the only things that are supposed to remain attached to Buggy at all times. Buggy repeats the question in his head once, twice, and then a third time. Are he and Mihawk dating or hooking up…? 

Ew.

“No! Why would you even think that?!” Buggy screams horrified and slightly appalled at the mere suggestion of Buggy being romantically involved with Dracule Mihawk of all people. He loves Alvida dearly. She’s like a younger sister to him, really, but at this moment he just wants to throttle her. How in the hell could she possibly think that Mihawk and Buggy were an item?! 

“Buggy,” Alvida calls out. She places her hands on his shoulder and looks into his eyes, “You can tell me the truth, I won’t judge you.”

 

“Alvida. Look, I don’t know what you thought you saw, but–”

“I saw Mihawk making heart eyes at you, Buggy The Clown.”

The hell is she even talking about right now? Mihawk must have been with someone else named Buggy The Clown last night because he sure as hell wasn’t looking at him with heart eyes or anything like that. Not that Buggy was looking at Mihawk, though, because he tried to avoid eye contact with him at all costs, but he just knows Mihawk, he’d never be interested in Buggy like that. In fact, Buggy’s still surprised Mihawk wants to be his friend or whatever."

 

Buggy exhales a loud sigh of his own, “Vida, look me and Mihawk don’t have that kind of relationship, and you know it.” 

“I don’t know,”  Alvida replies, dragging her words out and sounding almost playful as she talks to Buggy, “You two look like you’ve made up quite a lot.” They haven’t. Buggy still hates the guy! He’s… he’s just tolerating him more or less at this point!  

Buggy shakes his head. He looks down and checks his watch, then groans when he sees what time it is. “Look, I don’t have time for this, i have to get back to the meeting room and help organize Crocodile’s mess.”

Alvida raises an eyebrow, “Why are you helping him?” She asks. What does she mean, why is he helping him? He has to! He’s in debt to him, and when Buggy explains that to her, she gives him another strange look, “...But Galdino and I offered to help him clean the meeting room up earlier, and he said he didn’t need any help, and told us to go away…” 

Huh? Buggy thinks, confused yet again, this time by the sudden revelation. “I don’t know, Alvida. He just called me in early this morning and told me to help him, so that’s what I’m doing. Look, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He gives her a quick hug before hurrying back to the meeting room but swears he hears her mutter something along the lines of, “Hm…interesting.” while he’s still within hearing distance, but Buggy has no idea what that could even mean or if that’s what she actually said in the first place. 

If that’s what she actually said, what’s so interesting about Crocodile ordering Buggy to do some work? Crocodile’s been bossing him around since the moment he stepped foot on Emptee Bluffs Island, what’s different and interesting about that now? Whatever, Buggy doesn’t get it, and he definitely doesn’t get why she suddenly thinks Mihawk and him are seeing each other, but he doesn’t want to get any of it either. 

Buggy makes it back to the meeting room a little early and finds Crocodile resting his head down on the meeting room table, perhaps sleeping quietly. Buggy isn’t quite sure if the other man is asleep or not, but he hesitates for a moment, unsure if he should leave or if he should continue to work like Crocodile instructed him to. In the end, though, he decides to quietly turn back and just leave, but before he gets the chance to do so, he hears a deep voice call out to him from behind, “You’re back already?” Crocodile asks, sounding a little dazed.

Buggy spins around on his heels and forces a smile onto his face, “Yeah, I decided to come back a little early...” He tells Crocodile in a hushed voice, and then after that he quickly takes his seat at the meeting table again, still avoiding eye contact with the exhausted man. 

Crocodile slowly raises his head and runs his large hand over his face, “By the way, after you get done, can you ask Hawkeye to drop by and see me?” He asks. What the hell? Why can’t Crocodile just… Ugh, whatever. Buggy is just going to stop questioning Crocodile and focus on his work instead.

Buggy nods silently in response. He doesn’t ask any of the questions that are lingering in his mind, instead, he resumes his work from earlier, moving on to sorting through all of Crocodile’s business plans, and, boy, does he have a lot of them. He really thought this whole Cross Guild thing out, and it looks like Crocodile is serious about their little organization (not that Buggy ever doubted him.) and he has long-term plans for it for the next five, maybe even ten years.

God, will Buggy even be alive in five years? Maybe and the thought of having to spend the next five years with Crocodile is just… awful. He hates Cross Guild so much and finds himself once again regretting that he even borrowed money from Crocodile in the first place. Five years, maybe ten, or even twenty years of his life potentially down the drain all because he borrowed some money from Crocodile after the war. Man, he fucked up. 

The room falls silent yet again as Buggy tries to hurry up and get his work done for Crocodile, but it almost feels like Crocodile is actively making his workload grow. He constantly hands him more papers or documents that need to be put away, and Buggy is equal parts tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. How is he supposed to get any work done around here?! And how is he supposed to do all those other things Crocodile wants him to do, if he can’t even finish this one extremely tedious task?! Also, is Buggy Crocodile’s damn secretary now? Because he feels like Galdino would be much better suited for the job... 

The hours slowly drag on and on, and on, but eventually dinner time approaches and Buggy finally gets the courage to look up at Crocodile, “Hey… Uh, can I finish the rest tomorrow?” He asks, hoping, praying, even that Crocodile won’t suddenly grow furious with him and lunge at him. He’s almost done sorting through all of Crocodile’s business plans and ideas for the future; ones that still include taking over various desert lands like stupid Prickly Pear Island, as well as various boats he wants designed, and hideouts he wants built for them.

Crocodile takes a moment to think before finally replying, “No... I need this done today, but you can take another break if you want.” Why does he need all this done today?! He has weeks, maybe even months of paperwork and plans cluttering up the meeting room, and he really expects Buggy to be able to get it all put away by tonight?! But why? Crocodile’s serious about this Cross Guild shit, and they’re going to be doing it for a very long time, so why does everything need to be organized and ready now?! 

“But…” 

“You’re almost done anyways, you might as well finish what you started.” Crocodile states simply without so much as looking up at Buggy. That’s… That’s beside the point! Buggy’s been stuck in this cramped meeting room that smells like Crocodile and his damn cigars for the past nine hours and it’s driving him crazy! Nine hours! He’s been here for nine hours and there’s still more crap to go through, it’s ridiculous! 

Buggy bites the inside of his cheek. He feels absolutely frustrated yet defeated right now and all he can do is sigh quietly, “Yeah… you’re right.” He agrees, or at least he pretends to agree with Crocodile. In reality, he’s so annoyed that Crocodile forced him to waste his day, but still, he doesn’t say anything to annoy or anger Crocodile. And he’s actually a little relieved when Crocodile dismisses him for dinner.

He no longer feels flashy or like a leader, and that’s all because of Crocodile. He feels like he’s at the bottom of the hierarchy when the truth of the matter is he’s at the very top, but you wouldn’t know that by the way Crocodile treats him. You’d think Crocodile was the ‘leader’ of Cross Guild and one of the four emperors, and not Buggy, but whatever, it doesn’t matter… It just sucks. Man, what the hell happened to him? 

Tonight Cabaji, Mohji, and of course, Richie, all join him for dinner as they sit in Buggy’s main tent and have supper, and as usual, Mohji and Cabaji are overly worried about Buggy. “How are you, captain?” Mohji whispers to Buggy, keeping his voice down, ”Is he being a dick to you again?” he asks. Well, Crocodile’s been a pain in the ass, but he hasn’t yelled or even threatened to beat the shit out of Buggy all day, so that has to count for something.  

Buggy shakes his head, stabbing at the asparagus on his plate with his fork. Truth be told, he’s feeling a little uninterested in the vegetable and even the meal in front of him, but like always, Cabaji and Mohji insist he eats a little because ‘he needs all the energy he can get to lead their great and powerful crew’ or something like that. “Nah, I think he’s tired or something, he hasn’t even really talked to me today.” He tells them, “We’ve just both been kinda doing our own thing…” 

Cabaji and Mohji both heave a sigh of relief, “Good, good.” Mohji replies, and Cabaji follows suit, “Good. That’s good, maybe he finally realized he should be a little nicer to you.” He suggests and a moment later everyone at the table laughs as they mock Crocodile in secrecy. That’s a funny idea. Crocodile? Finally, realizing that he’s done something wrong and being man enough to admit it and try to change his behavior? Yeah, that would be the day.

 “But just in case he starts getting impatient, do you want us to come help you out?” Mohji asks.

Buggy considers the thought briefly as he gives Richie the rest of his food and strokes his mane gently a few times. In the end, he shakes his head again, “Nah, I can handle it.” He insists. He could have used the help earlier, but at this point, he’s got a system and can handle his workload on his own. Plus, he doesn’t want to hear Crocodile bitch and moan about Cabaji and Mohji helping him out and saying something rude and snarky like: ‘What? You couldn’t file a couple of documents on your own? Fucking useless clown.’

Yeah, Buggy’s useless… Yeah, he knows. Maybe that’s actually why Crocodile wanted Buggy to do his organizing for him. Maybe this is all part of some convoluted scheme to get Buggy to mess up on a trivial task, so Crocodile can degrade him more and once again point out how useless Buggy is.

Buggy knows he’s useless though! He knows he’s useless and pathetic and unworthy of living… He doesn’t constantly have to be reminded of all that. He knows Crocodile has made sure to make that fact abundantly clear on several occasions. 

“Seriously, Captain… at least let us come sit with you while you work,” Mohji pleads, and Cabaji nods his head eagerly in agreement, “Yeah, even if we don’t do anything, we still want to be there with you in case something happens…” It’s a sweet gesture, and Buggy appreciates it, he really does, but he doesn’t want Cabaji and Mohji to have to witness how Crocodile treats Buggy, not that they don’t already know, but still. Nor does he like the idea of Crocodile getting angry and potentially taking his wrath out on one or both of them, even though Crocodile’s fury has more or less always been directed at Buggy and Buggy alone. He still wants to keep his men safe no matter what.

If someone’s going to take a beating or be humiliated and degraded, it should be Buggy, and Buggy only.

Buggy bids farewell to his beloved men a few minutes later. He gives Cabaji and Mohji both a tight hug and assures them that everything is okay and that they’re just anxious about nothing, and then gives Richie a couple of more pets before he heads back to the meeting room. As soon as he’s away from the others, though, his mood takes a turn for the worst. He feels like a complete failure of a captain. He can’t even comfort his men these days, and if he can’t even do that much anymore, then what good is he? He hates it. Crocodile is right. He’s a good-for-nothing coward who doesn’t deserve to liv– 

Okay, he needs to stop thinking about that. He doesn’t even know where all those thoughts came from, Crocodile’s hardly even said a word to him today, and yet… his words from the past are back, and tormenting Buggy for some reason. It’s annoying, he doesn’t want to have those thoughts and tries to force them away, but they just continue to resurface and cause Buggy more anguish. 

 Worthless coward who can’t do a goddamn thing. Pathetic Crybaby. You aren’t worth keeping around…

Buggy blinks and suddenly finds himself in the meeting room again after another break that goes by way too quickly for his liking, but he doesn’t even remember stepping inside. He shakes away all of his negative thoughts and has a seat at the meeting room table again. Okay, he can do this. He’s going to finish sorting Crocodile’s papers and then go straight to bed, and when he wakes up, he’s going to get started on all those other things Crocodile wanted him to do for him. He takes a deep breath and tries to settle his chaotic mind a little before he gets back to work. 

Stupid. Pathetic. Worthless.

“...How was dinner?” Crocodile asks, glancing up at him briefly before looking back down at whatever he’s been working on all day. He successfully startles Buggy out of his thoughts though, and for that Buggy’s kind of glad, Again with the small talk… he thinks, fighting back the urge to groan. There’s no way Crocodile cares how Buggy’s dinner went, so why is he even bothering to ask?! He doesn’t care about him. He hates him and wants him dead, and-– 

Still, Buggy gives him a quiet answer, “Fine…Thank you.” 

Crocodile looks back up at Buggy, almost seeming like he has something he wants to say, but he shakes his head instead and allows yet another awkward silence to fill the room. Buggy doesn’t question it, the less he has to talk to Crocodile, the better, and he gets back to work. He pretty much has everything sorted and even has all the boxes in the room stacked neatly on top of each other and separated by categories in different parts of the room.

He’s still not done though, but almost, and he’s trying to hang in there despite his constant discomfort while being By Crocodile’s side. Just a few more things, he just has to organize the rest of Crocodile’s junk that didn’t fit into the three specific categories Crocodile mentioned earlier, and that’s it. 

Crocodile once again speaks up a little while later while Buggy is going through a pile of what appears to be receipts for weapons that Cross Guild has purchased, “Uh, Buggy…” He calls out, and Buggy freezes for a moment, afraid that Crocodile will give him even more papers to sort through. He looks up and locks eyes with Crocodile, and Crocodile, yes, Crocodile, is the one who actually looks away first, “Never mind.” he mutters a moment later.

…Whatever. 

Buggy goes back to what he’s doing after that, only to have Crocodile disrupt him once again a few minutes later, “Look...There’s something I want to say,” He says, but as soon as Buggy looks up to acknowledge him, Crocodile clicks his tongue, “....Forget it.”

What the hell?!

For a moment Buggy is afraid that he’s doing something wrong and that Crocodile is going to start yelling at him, but that never happens. Instead, Crocodile looks away from him again and redirects his attention to the papers in front of him again.  It’s fine, it’s fine. Buggy’s made it this far, he can keep on going. There’s only a couple of more folders on the table that need to be put away. He can do it, and after this, he can say that he actually made it through a single day with Crocodile without getting his ass whipped … but then again, maybe he should shut up before he jinxes it. 

“Hey, um…” Crocodile mutters.

“...Yes?”

“Nothing.”

Buggy has honestly never met a more infuriating man in his life. Crocodile is so cryptic and hard to please at times, and Buggy just… Whatever. He doesn’t care. He’d just be wasting his time if he gets annoyed by Crocodile. He finishes what little work he has left and then sighs in contentment afterwards, “Okay, I’m all done.” He announces to Crocodile who for some reason looks slightly disappointed…? Is that the right way to describe his face right now? It doesn’t matter, he asks Crocodile if there’s anything else he wants Buggy to do while he’s still around, and Crocodile shakes his head in response. “...No, that’s it…Thank you.” Thank you? Did Crocodile just say…

Buggy glances over at Crocodile, and he’s unsure of how he’s even supposed to respond at a time like this, “...What…?” He asks.

 

“....Thank you…” Crocodile repeats quietly. 

It takes a while before Buggy can actually formulate a response. He’s so caught off guard by Crocodile’s sudden expression of gratitude that he… he just kind of short circuits. “I…” He looks at Crocodile and then down at his lap, “Uh… you’re welcome?” He replies, unsure if he’s still even living in the same dimension as before. Crocodile is actually thanking him for doing something for him, and It’s weird… Really weird. The comment didn’t sound rude or insincere, but there’s no way that Crocodile would genuinely thank Buggy for anything.  Maybe he really is dreaming right now because there’s no way an arrogant prick like Crocodile would ever be thanking him. He’s supposed to say something snarky… like… like, ‘Tsk, it took you long enough, clown…’ He’s not supposed to thank him. 

Buggy is worthless… He’s pathetic… He doesn’t know how to do anything… He…He fucks everything up, and it’s a damn shame that the World Government made someone like him one of the four emperors. He doesn’t deserve that title, he doesn’t deserve the fame and power he has. He doesn’t deserve anything, actually.

Again Buggy can’t help but wonder what changed…? Mihawk is one thing. Mihawk was there when Buggy was drunk and chewed him out, and he said after that little incident he regretted the way he treated Buggy… Buggy gets that… He’s still struggling with the truth and trying to see his feelings as genuine, but he gets it. Crocodile on the other hand… Why is he being like this?

Buggy doesn’t like this… He feels like there’s something he’s not getting or like there’s something he missed. Buggy’s been away from Crocodile for a couple of weeks, sure, but surely that’s not enough time for Crocodile to have a sudden change of heart … He feels like things are rapidly changing around him, but like he’s stuck in the same place. What changed? Why is Crocodile being nice now? Is this even him being nice? Is Buggy just so used to being mistreated that he doesn’t even know what true kindness looks like from Crocodile?! 

“Uh, I’m going to call it a night then,” Buggy announces, getting up from his chair and now extremely desperate to get far away from Crocodile so he can just sit down and think about all that’s been happening these last few weeks. Before he can leave the room though, Crocodile speaks up again, this time sounding like he’s in a bit of a rush, “Um, Buggy wait…!” He orders, and a moment later he finally says it. He says the one simple phrase that just makes something snap inside Buggy.

“Look… I’m sorry.”

He’s… Sorry…?

There’s a long pause as Buggy tries to process the words just said to him. He’s sorry… He said he’s sorry… He… He apologized to Buggy?!... He actually apologized to Buggy. When Buggy’s confused mind finally processes Crocodile’s words, all he can think is: Liar. Fucking liar. He’s not sorry, he can’t be sorry. Buggy knows Crocodile well enough to know that Crocodile has never regretted a single thing in his life. He’s sorry for turning Buggy’s life into a living hell? He’s sorry for scaring Buggy shitless and making him feel like his life is something that can easily be taken away? No. Nah. He’s not. He’s not sorry for that, nor is he sorry for beating or humiliating Buggy. He’s not sorry for making Buggy hate himself or his life and wanting to just end it all instead of having to deal with living another day with Crocodile. He’s not sorry, he’s just a goddamn liar. 

Buggy turns around, and he can feel tears running down his face, but doesn’t care.  His brain isn’t working anymore, it stopped working the moment Crocodile had the nerve to apologize to Buggy. He’s probably not even being genuine in the first place, but that doesn’t matter. Liar, liar, liar. Crocodile is such a liar, and Buggy can’t stand it. He hates liars. He’d rather Crocodile be blatantly cruel to him and constantly insult him than pretend to be nice to him and pretend that he cares or that he’s regretful for everything he’s put Buggy through. 

If Buggy were in the right state of mind, he’d tell himself to take a deep breath and calm down. This is the break he needed. He could accept Crocodile’s apology, he could come up with some bullshit response, he could do anything that would assure his safety, but Buggy just…He can’t think properly anymore. His heart is pounding at an alarming rate, and he feels like none of this is real.

It can’t be real, it just can’t be. 

His mouth moves on its own, “Liar.” He says, and Crocodile looks taken aback by the insult, but Buggy keeps going. “Liar, you aren’t sorry.” he tells him, “You can’t be sorry. You’re just fucking with me again.” And as he speaks, the volume of his voice begins to rise, “You’re lying to me.”

“I’m n–”

“Stop fucking lying to me!” Buggy yells. This has to be some cruel joke. Crocodile isn’t sorry, and yet said man starts to argue back with Buggy, but why? They both know he’s nothing but a liar! Why is he even trying to defend himself right now?! Crocodile clicks his tongue, “Will you fucking listen to m–” No! Why should Buggy listen to him?! 

“Fucking let me talk!” Crocodile snaps, red in the face now, as he starts angrily yelling back at Buggy. No! Buggy doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t care what Crocodile has to say. He’s lying and even if he weren’t, Buggy would never, ever forgive him. He’s horrible, absolutely horrible, and Buggy has never hated anyone more than he hates Crocodile. “Hawkeye was right!” Crocodile says, still trying to get one phrase in without Buggy interrupting him and calling him a liar. “I fucked up, i shouldn’t have treated you like that. I’m fucking sorry, okay?”

“Liar!” “I’m not lying, okay?! I want us to start over again for the sake of Cross Guild.”

“Fuck Cross Guild!” Oh, words can’t even explain how good it felt to finally say those words. Crocodile and this stupid organization are a bane to Buggy’s existence. He hates them both, and he just wishes he were free of them. He doesn’t care anymore! Crocodile can sell him off or kill him, anything would be better than dealing with this asshole. He’s the absolute worst!

For some reason, Crocodile still tries to insist that he wants to make up with Buggy, though, “No, listen. Just listen to me, I agree with Mihawk, we should treat each other with respect and as equa–” 

“Oh, so you’re just saying this shit because Mihawk told you to?!”

“No! Why would i–”  

“You aren’t sorry. All you’ve ever done is made my life miserable and threatened to kill me over and over again, and I hate you.” 

Crocodile once again looks a little stunned by Buggy’s words. Why’s he acting like this is anything new or as if his good name is being dragged through the mud? It’s the truth! He’s said and done so many things to Buggy, and if Buggy needs to he can list every single thing he’s ever done to hurt him. He. Fucking. Hates. Him. Liar, liar, liar! What a liar! 

Crocodile grits his teeth and throws his hands in the air, “You know what? Whatever, I’m not fucking sorry then.” Yeah, Buggy knows! He fucking knows Crocodile isn’t sorry and that he’s just spouting a bunch of lies and nonsense to Buggy! “Just leave. Forget I fucking said anything. This was stupid and fucking pointless.” Crocodile yells. 

Yeah, it really was. Buggy has so much more he wants to say, but he doesn’t. Instead, he turns around and rushes out of the meeting room and past several people he didn’t know were even around. Galdino, Alvida, Cabaji, and Mohji all watch in confusion and horror as Buggy storms past them, crying again.  

“Captain…” Cabaji calls out… or maybe it’s Mohji, Buggy doesn’t know, all he knows is he’s ordering whoever’s talking to him to stay back and just leave him alone. He can’t take this anymore. He hurries back to his bedroom, feeling honestly sick to his stomach, and he knows that it’s his own fault for getting himself worked up, but still. He sits down and tries to calm down a little, but as the moments go by he suddenly realizes what he’s just done and who he was talking to and feels so much worse. 

He can’t stop crying. His face is covered with snot and tears, and no matter how much he tries to calm himself down, he just can’t. He tells himself that he’s alright and that he’s going to be okay. But he’s not. Nothing is okay, and they haven’t been since Crocodile and Mihawk came to Emptee Bluffs Island. 

He wonders what happened to doing what was right for him. What happened to ensuring his own comfort and making sure the beatings and insults from Crocodile and Mihawk stopped? He’s so stupid. So, so stupid. In one night he managed to somehow make everything worse, and it’s all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. All he had to do was shut up and accept Crocodile’s apology. That’s all he had to do and yet…

He ruined everything.’

His throat feels so tight and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. He hates this. What did he do to deserve all this? Why did things have to get this bad in the first place? Why can’t he do anything right? Why does he always fuck things up?! Why does Crocodile hate him so much?! He can’t do this. He can’t do this.

What if Crocodile tells Mihawk what happened? What if Mihawk thinks that Buggy is a stuck-up prick and changes his mind and decides that he’s going to go back on his word? What if they start their torment again? What if they beat him within an inch of his life daily? What if they continue to insult Buggy and make him feel lower than a worm at the bottom of the earth? Buggy can’t do this He can’t let things continue. He can’t let them get worse. He’d rather… 

He’d rather die. 

((A/N: LOL. MERRY CHRISTMAS HERE'S A CLIFF HANGER!!!!))

#one piece #cross guild #crocodile #buggy the clown #dracule mihawk #ERIN ERIN ERIN I FUCKING CAUGHT UP WHAT THE FUCK #AND ON CHRISTMAS TOO #AHHHHHHHHH #the ending destroyed me #how dare you why must you do this #anyhow it was a really good and now i will go cry on my bed

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Crocodile x Mihawk x Buggy fic idea for you: Mihawk and Crocodile are stunned when they each discover both Yoru and Crocodile's gold hook missing. The both of them immediately suspect that Buggy did something. Pissed six ways to Hell they go looking for their "fearless leader". They find him in one of the workshops and all anger is replaced with astonishment when they find Buggy polishing Yoru to a radiant shine, while Crocodile's hook hand is already gleaming like it's been kissed by the sun itself. When they get closer, Mihawk is quietly stunned to see that Buggy has gone so far as to rewrap the hilt of the strongest blade in brand new gleaming white leather. Buggy does his best to be non-chalant as he explains that he simply wants his " Lieutenants" looking their best as he hands Crocodile his hook and assures Mihawk he's almost done polishing Yoru. The gesture actually shifts Mihawk and Crocodile's attitude towards Buggy after that. Before he knows it, Buggy is the one getting stunned when he winds up with the world's strongest swordsman and the former but still formidable leader of Baroque Works declaring that they are both in love with him and mean belong to him just as much as he does to them. Cue the absolute chaos that somehow becomes a genuinely loving throuple and a true for to be reckoned with in the pirate world.

IK WE'VE ALREADY TALKED BUT HI AGAIN POOKIE LOL. Anyways this is going to be another one of the requests i turn into a little series, if you didn't see the post where i went into more details click here. (That's if you want to, you don't have to LOL.) ALSO PT2 this is going to be the series i was talking about where i'm going to try and experiment with alternating POVS as mentioned here.

Anyways i hope everything goes well, and i'm going to debut the first three chapters before we get into anything serious, (but again, as mentioned before, i want everyone's feed back please so i know this is something yall might want again in the future. ((OR MIGHT NOT LOL) ) ) I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS THO POOKIE AND ILY MUAHHHHH.

AWYWHOREEEEEE LETS GET IT.

Title: Buggy's guide to bagging boyfriends

Ch: 1/?

Rating: PG-ish for now ig (But let's talk later about it.)

Word count: 2835

Chapter except:

The room fills with tension as the two other members of Cross Guild glare at him, and Crocodile is the first to speak up, “Where’s my damn hook?!” He asks, and even though it's first thing in the morning, his voice is still, loud, deep, and intimidating, and he doesn’t sound like he’s in a good mood… but, then again, Buggy doesn’t think he ever is. Mihawk follows suit, asking his own question afterwards in a significantly quieter, yet equally as intimidating voice, “...And why do you have my sword?”

Well, so much for the surprise...

It’s not like Buggy’s a workaholic or anything like that, he’s far from it actually. It’s just that even after he’s done doing his duties for the day, he often finds it hard to shut his brain off at night. He often tosses and turns in his bed, thinking about what he has to do in the morning or for the week, and sometimes finds himself wanting to get a head start on things. Tonight, he finds himself in another one of those situations, unable to sleep no matter how hard he tries because he keeps on thinking about Cross Guild and all that he has to do.

He has to have new weapons and medical supplies ordered, and he also has new men to welcome into the crew, each of whom he has to find a job for because Mihawk and Crocodile, while skilled in many things, aren’t big fans of doing the more simple tasks; like assigning their men jobs or giving them pep talks, or sending their families money after they’ve made an enemy out of themselves for attacking the marines. Damn, he has more bounties that need to be made too, and he has old ones that need to be taken off the market.

There’s so much to do, and part of him wants to go to sleep, but another part of him also wants to get back up and get right back to work again. It’s weird. 

Two, three, and then four o'clock, quickly passes him by as he continues to think about all that he has to do. He feels full of energy right now despite the fact that prior to lying down, he felt exhausted. He kept yawning and could barely keep his eyes open, but now, as he lies in his bed, it seems like he can’t fall asleep no matter how hard he tries. It seems like his previous exhaustion was just a sick prank his brain played on him. Thanks, brain. He continues to think about Cross Guild, he wasn’t exactly serious about it before. He was more or less just in it because he needed to repay his debt to Crocodile, but now… Well, he can’t say it’s the worst thing in the world. 

It has its cons of course: Mihawk and Crocodile are always bullying him, plus they make him run around like a chicken with its head cut off, doing what could only be considered more of a manager role than the big boss role, but Buggy kind of enjoys it actually. It makes the days go by a little quicker because he has so many things to do and men to look after these days, and he thinks his responsibilities are only going to grow in the future. 

His thoughts shift slightly, and he goes from thinking about all the things he needs to do to thinking about his ‘subordinates’ and his relationship with them. Buggy’s always had a rather rocky relationship with Mihawk and Crocodile but…It’s not like he would be opposed to being their friend or anything like that, the two just never seemed interested in anything other than a work relationship (or beating him up.) But maybe if Buggy actually put in an effort to be their friend, they could fix things and this Cross Guild thing could really kick ass! Perhaps if he did something nice for them, they’d stop hating him and see that Buggy’s not that bad of a guy after all. 

Should he do that? 

He finds himself wondering if he should just give this whole Cross Guild thing his all, you know, make the best out of a bad situation because he’s not going anywhere any time soon… Maybe there are ways to make his, Mihawk, and Crocodile’s relationship better, like, maybe he could get them all matching red cloaks, that’d make them look like a flashy team, right?? Okay, they’d probably kill him on the spot if he did something like that. Oh, uh, maybe he could gift them some sake! Wait…They’re kind of snobby and only drink aged wine or some crap. Uh, uh… what could he do for them? 

A sudden idea pops up in Buggy’s mind and he glances over at the clock by his bedside again, wondering how in just a few short seconds it went from four in the morning to almost six. Gah, time doesn’t make sense, but that doesn’t matter right now.

What are the most important things to Crocodile and Mihawk? Why, it’s their hook and sword of course! Well, actually, he’s pretty sure the most important thing to Crocodile is money and power, but that doesn’t matter! What if he shined their things for them!! That would be nice, wouldn’t it? And then they would definitely stop hating him and being mean to him, right? They’d have to! They’ll want to be his best friend if he does something that nice!! Buggy will give Crocodile’s hook and Mihawk’s sword a nice shine, and then they’ll be all like, ‘Oh, my god, Buggy. You’re so amazing, you’re so wonderful, you’re so sexy and smart, we love you!!!!’ Okay, wait, they probably won’t do the last thing, but Buggy can hear their praises now.

God, he’s so smart. 

Buggy hops out of bed, quickly gets himself dressed, and then makes his way out of his tent. The island feels so calm and peaceful right now as his men continue to sleep in the early morning hours. Everything is deserted and quiet, and Buggy enjoys the scenery, finding Emptee Bluffs island the most beautiful during early summer mornings such as this. Buggy just so happens to notice that the sun is just barely beginning to peek over the horizon as he heads to Crocodile’s tent first, and he takes a moment to admire its beauty before continuing on with his tasks. He's so excited for this! He’s going to have two, not one, but two, super cool best friends!   

As Crocodile’s tent comes into view, Buggy’s heart starts pounding in his chest because, despite knowing he has nothing but good intentions, he knows that if Crocodile were to discover what he plans on doing, then he’d wring his neck for sure. So, he quietly sneaks into Crocodile’s tent, and in his room, he can just barely make out the soft sounds of snoring coming from over at his bed. Perfect, Buggy thinks, hoping that there might be a chance that Crocodile doesn’t sleep with his hook on, and as he crouches down and makes his way slowly across the dimly lit room, he notices the object of his desire lying right on top of Crocodile’s nightstand. 

Perfect. He’s going to be so surprised! Buggy’s going to just take this for a little while, but he’s going to make sure he returns Crocodile’s hook, and of course, Mihawk’s sword, before either of them realizes that their belongings have even gone missing! 

Buggy quickly snatches up Crocodile’s hook, clutching it close to his chest, and then goes after his next target: Yoru. He thinks things might be a little more difficult considering that Mihawk may very well be awake at this time since he seems like an early riser, and Buggy has often seen him taking morning walks around the island or getting a cup of coffee from the cafeteria. It’ll be alright though, maybe he’ll be asleep or out of his tent. Buggy wastes little time making his way over to Mihawk’s tent, peeking his head in first to see if he’s awake or even inside, and when he realizes that his tent is empty, but Yoru is resting against the side of his bed, he grins, grabbing Mihawk’s beloved sword and quickly making a run for it.  

Buggy can try to hide Crocodile’s hook but, obviously, it’ll be a little hard given its size, but there’s no way that he could possibly hide Mihawk’s sword, so he makes a quick run for it towards one of the island’s workshops, grunting on the way there from the sheer weight of both items. He looks around the shop once he’s inside, searching for some polishing cream and a rag, and struggling for a moment because he doesn’t usually come to this place. Usually, he just stops by for a few minutes to check up on his men, so he doesn’t know where anything is. Everything is so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time, but he eventually finds what he needs and begins working on his surprise, having a seat on a stool and polishing Crocodile’s hook first.

He grunts again as he holds the heavy metal in his hands, wondering how Crocodile can even use this as a prosthetic with how heavy it is. He thinks it has to be at least a good thirty pounds alone, but that’s none of Buggy’s concern, he just took it so that he would be able to give it the shine it needs. Not only does giving this bad boy a good shine seem nice, but wouldn’t it be cooler if Crocodile engaged in battle with the Marines or even one of the mighty four emperors (not Buggy though.) and he had the coolest, most shiniest, most bad ass hook the world’s ever seen?!

Hell yeah, it would be! Crocodile is going to look so freaking cool thanks to Buggy!!! 

He polishes the hook once, but it honestly doesn’t look shiny enough the first time around, so Buggy decides to polish it again, and then actually a third time because he wants that bad boy to shine like a diamond…even though it’s gold. It doesn’t matter, he just wants it to look pretty. He wants it so shiny that light will bounce off it and blind people, that’s how shiny he wants Crocodile’s gold hook to be, and as he finishes polishing it, he smiles to himself, now a little sweaty because of the poor ventilation in the workshop. 

Buggy moves on to Yoru next and as he holds the sword up, he once again takes the time to mentally complain about the pure weight of the object alone, wondering how Mihawk carries the damn thing on his back all the time without having any problems. He must have a spine made out of steel.

(Buggy wishes he could say the same.)

Buggy stares at the sword, admiring its beauty for a moment before lying it down on the workbench in front of him, he notices as he begins to polish the blade that the bandages around the hilt are a little ragged and dirty now, most likely from how much its owner uses it, and Buggy gets another idea in his head at that moment, wondering if there’s anything that he can rewrap the hilt of the sword with. He figures that he’ll worry about that a bit later though as he begins to polish Yoru, and just like with Crocodile’s hook, Buggy can’t help but think that the sword would look so much cooler and prettier if it was shinier. Like, yeah, it’s already stunning, but it just needs that extra layer of flashiness to really make it stand out, and so he takes his time polishing the blade, shining it until it’s bright and pretty, and so dazzling it makes Buggy’s eyes hurt, and once he’s done he looks for something to rewrap the hilt with. 

It takes him a little while, but he does eventually find some white leather that he thinks could probably be used to wrap the hilt with, and he begins to unwrap the bandages from around the sword, which, by the way, takes a whole lot longer than Buggy thought it would.  He eventually manages to get the bandages wrapped around the hilt off though, and then proceeds to wrap, and unwrap, and then wrap the sword again. He does this several times because this too, isn’t as easy as he thought it would be, but he slowly starts to figure out how to make the leather around the hilt look juuuust right...When all of a sudden, he hears loud, quick footsteps coming from the outside of the tent, but he figures it's just his men ready to start their day. 

How long have I been here? Buggy wonders as he continues to wrap Yoru’s hilt. He doesn’t have a watch on him, but he doesn’t feel like he’s spent that much time in the workshop, maybe because he’s genuinely enjoying himself and likes the idea of possibly making Mihawk and Crocodile happy? 

“Hey, Clown, you in there?!” 

Buggy pauses in an instant. Crocodile…? He wonders, taking a moment to figure out who the gravelly voice that just called out to him belongs to. Oh no! The surprise, it’s going to be ruined if he doesn– 

Too late. 

Mihawk and Crocodile come barging into the tent, both red in the face and looking like they want to snap Buggy’s neck but to be fair, they always look like that. Buggy pauses for a moment and stares up at his two chief officers, unsure of how to explain himself now that he’s been caught. Damn it, he really thought that he could get everything done before they realized their stuff was missing!! Seriously, how long has he been in the workshop?!

The room fills with tension as the two other members of Cross Guild glare at him, and Crocodile is the first to speak up, “Where’s my damn hook?!” He asks, and even though it's first thing in the morning, his voice is still, loud, deep, and intimidating, and he doesn’t sound like he’s in a good mood… but, then again, Buggy doesn’t think he ever is. Mihawk follows suit, asking his own question afterwards in a significantly quieter, yet equally as intimidating voice, “...And why do you have my sword?”

Well, so much for the surprise... 

Buggy places Yoru down for a moment as the other two former warlords approach him, and he notices how their expressions go from unbridled rage to pure confusion in a moment’s notice as soon as they get a little closer to him. He stands up and picks up Crocodile’s hook first and hands it to him, “I know I shouldn’t have taken your stuff,” He admits, and both Mihawk and Crocodile’s confusion only seems to grow, “But I just suddenly thought to myself: ‘Wow, i want to do something nice for them so that maybe we could be friends…and that you guys would look so cool if your weapons were all clean and shiny…” He chuckles lightly for a moment, trying to find the right words to explain how he got ahead of himself, but everything was all out of the goodness of his heart.

 

 “Seriously, guys, i was hoping that i could get everything polished before you even noticed your things were gone, but obviously that didn’t happen…” He sighs, rubbing the back of his head, “But, yeah, i wasn’t trying to make you guys mad or anything, just wanted you to look cool and to be friends!”

There’s absolute silence after Buggy’s explanation. Crocodile looks down at his hook, twisting and turning it in his hand as he examines it, and then suddenly he mutters a quiet, “Whatever, just don’t steal it again.” before he makes his leave, and honestly… Considering this is Crocodile we’re talking about, Buggy feels like things went a lot better than they could have… but still, he’s a little disappointed at that reaction. Was Crocodile’s hook not shiny enough? Or is he just really upset that Buggy stole his hand in the first place? Ah, shucks… Maybe he messed up. Maybe he should have done something else for him instead…Is his relationship with Crocodile going to be even more strained because of this? 

Aw, man. He hopes not! 

Buggy turns to Mihawk next, who is still staring at him speechlessly with wide eyes. He gives him a small, little smile, hoping that he hasn’t screwed things up with Mihawk too, “Uh, no offense, but the bandages around your sword were a little worn out, so uh, i thought i’d rewrap your sword too. I’m almost done, just give me a second,” Buggy tells him and then sits back down on the stool he was using, quickly finishing his job and wrapping Yoru’s hilt tightly, and afterwards he stands back up and gives Mihawk a proper grin, hoping that he might be a little more appreciative of his gift. “There! All done,” He says, handing the sword back to its owner. 

Mihawk continues to just stare at him even after he gets his sword back, and honestly, Buggy didn’t do any of this for a thank you or praise, even though that would be nice, he did this because he genuinely wanted to change things between him, Hawkeye, and Crocodile…So, he’s a little shocked when Mihawk simply sighs before quickly leaving the workshop too, not even saying another word to Buggy.

…So, are they not going to be super cool best friends?

((A/N: Hopefully this isn't ASS.))

#one piece #cross guild #buggy the clown #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #first of all im already invested in this #second of all!! im excited to see what the other twos reactions is gonna be like! #i always like seeing what mihawk and croco are thinking when buggy does something nice/unexpected for them #especially if it throws them off kilter and then they dont know how to act around him anymore #anyways looking forward to this story

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

heheh... litel clown funy 🤡

#one piece #cross guild #buggy the clown #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #i like to think that once cross guild settles as a polycule their relationship is kinda like a roger rabbit and jessica rabbit situation #someone asks either croc or mihawk why they stay/love buggy and theyre like #c & m: he makes us laugh #and buggy is just sweating profusedly with a goofy grin as he trips over himself #that was a lot forgive me

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

#one piece #crocodile #crocodad #dragon op #get him croco #tell him how much he screwed up

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

few mihawk...... oohhhhhh

#one piece #dracule mihawk #shes beauty shes grace #i would let her kill me with yoru #same crocodile same

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

diagnosed with obsessive loving of asl brothers

#one piece #asl brothers #portgas d ace #monkey d. luffy #sabo #THEY ARE ALL SO PRETTY #i love sabos and luffys sharp teeth

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

In this house we stan narcoleptics

#one piece #portgas d ace #baby boy #i miss him #ahhhh #hes so pretty here tho

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

They’re my weakness

#one piece #asl brothers #portgas d ace #monkey d. luffy #Sabo #🥺 they mean everything to me

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

💥💥💥

#one piece #buggy the clown #crocodile #cross guild #genderbend #BARK BARK WOOF WOOF #I LOVE THESE #THEY ARE SO PRETTY

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Pirates? More like King of fools.

Day five of Buggytober • King of the Pirates

#one piece #buggy the clown #gosh this is so pretty #i love the art style so much

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Changes

Title: Changes

Chapter: 4/?

Rating: M

Word count: 5114

Warnings: Crocodile. Violence, Explicit Language, Alcohol use, Su*cidal thoughts, and a really sad Buggy who isn't doing too good chief.

Chapter excerpt:

“Oh, so now you’re not going to say anything? After everything you’ve said, now you want to be quiet? I hate you, i hate you, i hate you.”

“Buggy, go to bed. I’m not going to fight you.”

Why?! Why is it the one time Buggy finally gets to say what’s on his mind, he’s instantly being dismissed? Why does he have to go to bed when his heart is pounding and he has so much adrenaline that he feels like he can run a full marathon? “You fight me all the time. Wait, no, no no, we don’t fight. You just beat the shit out of me because i’m beneath you. What’s different this time, huh? Why don’t you want to deal with me now?” 

((A/N: Trust in the process. also manga logic applies to everything in this story. My boy could get thrown into a volcano and walk out fine. which is why he isn't like in a coma rn.))

| CH1 | CH2 | CH3 |

As soon as Cross Guild really starts to gain notoriety and they receive funding from various underworld organizations, Buggy makes sure to have weapons sent over to the island. After all, that’s one of the many things Crocodile wants, and if Crocodile is happy, then Buggy…Well, Buggy gets to live a little longer if Crocodile is at least content, and that has to count for something. 

 

The summer sun is high in the sky, and Buggy’s men are happily chattering and unloading the crews’ new weapons from one of their supplier's ships, some are even trying out their new toys, while Buggy’s stuck in the crew’s armory with Mihawk, uneasy from just being around the other man, not that being surrounded by weapons makes things any better though.

The guns, canons, and various other weapons, don’t get criticized or even really looked at, but the swords they receive end up getting inspected by Mihawk. He goes through every sword, scowling, and making sure Buggy knows that he hates them all.  “Garbage...” he repeats after lifting up every sword, yes every sword, and carefully examining it, and Buggy can’t help but groan internally because he doesn’t get what’s wrong with them, they seem perfectly fine to him.

“These are too fragile and dull. They couldn’t even cut a slice of bread, it’s disgraceful.” Mihawk glares at Buggy as he says those words, making the other squirm slightly, and it’s as if it’s his fault the swords are of such poor quality and not their dealers.

Okay, but Mihawk is supposed to be a great and experienced swordsman, surely he can figure out how to make the best out of the swords they have, right? “Okay, I get that, but… There’s got to be some way we can put them to good use, right?” He asks. 

Mihawk scoffs at him, “The best thing we can do is dispose of them so they can’t fall into someone else’s hands. I doubt anyone around here can use these… Your men’s swordsmanship is at a subpar level, and they’ll break these within their first use, I guarantee you that. Have them destroyed.”  What the hell? First of all, how dare he insult Buggy’s children, and secondly, does he know how expensive those damn swords were? “Hawkeye, we can’t just have them destroyed, do you know how many berries these things cost?” Buggy groans. Surely Mihawk knows that even if they have money coming in now they can’t just afford to throw away millions of berries worth of swords.

Mihawk clicks his tongue in response, “Are you so useless that you can’t even dispose of a few swords?” That’s…that’s not the problem! The problem is that It’d be a waste of money… “Have them destroyed and order new ones, or else.”

Buggy bites the inside of his cheek. There’s a weird concoction of fear and irritation brewing inside of him. He’s too much of a coward to actually stand up to Mihawk, but…But he’s so frustrating!…he wants hundreds of swords just destroyed…such a waste of time and money.

In the end though, Buggy decides that he’s going to just go along with what Mihawk wants because what else can he do? He gives his weapons dealer hell after Mihawk literally has him destroy the crew’s new swords, beyond frustrated that he’d have to wait another week for more weapons to come in because the last thing he wants is for Crocodile to get pissy at him again for someone else’s negligence.

A week later though, and the new shipment of swords is being inspected by Mihawk, who seems at least content with the new batch of weapons, but he has other complaints now, ones about Buggy’s children, again. “I was watching your men training earlier,” he states, putting a sword back into the wooden crate it belongs in, “You should be ashamed to call yourself their leader. They’re as useless in combat as you are.”

Another day, another insult that goes straight to Buggy’s chest. He can never do anything right. Never. And Mihawk and Crocodile have made sure to quickly teach him that painful lesson, everything he tries to do either leads to them cruelly insulting him or worse, kicking his ass, and Buggy’s getting tired of it all.  

These days it feels like he doesn’t have much pride left in him…”Ah, about that…” He replies softly, but he’s not sure what he can even say to defend himself. Yeah, his men aren’t exactly the strongest, but…they’re his kids, Buggy loves them regardless.  

“If we didn’t need men, I’d tell you to get rid of every last one of them.”

But his men…Those are his children…And Mihawk…Mihawk thinks he can just ‘get rid’ of them? Buggy grimaces slightly. It's not the comment about his own incompetence that hurts. Well, okay, that hurts, but it doesn’t hurt that much. It's the fact that Mihawk said he’d get rid of Buggy’s kids that really hurts and leaves him feeling like he’s been stabbed in the chest. Mihawk sees his crew as worthless and replaceable… and if Mihawk gets rid of Buggy's crew... If he takes his only shred of happiness away from him…

...Then what?

“…I’ll have them train harder…” Buggy mutters, and now he has another thing to worry about.

Buggy’s still trying to recover from Mihawk’s harsh words after he leaves the armory, and of course, Crocodile has to come along and make things ten times worse by yelling at him, and it’s over the most trivial thing ever. It’s not even worth mentioning, Buggy just forgot to do something, and Crocodile just…He’s Crocodile.

“Fuck what Hawkeye says, you’re not worth keeping around.”

Yeah…Yeah, he knows.

These days Buggy doesn’t feel big and flashy, these days he feels more like a mosquito than anything. Mihawk and Crocodile make him feel tiny and useless, like a pest that they can get rid of at any moment, and just…

It hurts. 

He finds himself utterly drained after each and every interaction he has with either or both men, often just wanting to be alone after he’s dealt with them. Things are usually at their worst after meetings, he quietly returns to his room after them typically and just… thinks about the things that they’ve said to him. it’s really like they don’t see him as a human being with actual emotions, and their words often come back to haunt Buggy until late at night.

Mihawk thinks he’s a sniveling coward who is undeserving of the title of emperor of the sea. He also thought he was undeserving to be a warlord to be fair…and He thinks he’s a fake and a fraud…And…he’s apparently disgusted at the fact that Shanks considers Buggy such a close friend when he’s a gutless wimp…

As for Crocodile…Well, some things are better left unsaid, but he doesn’t think too highly of Buggy either and makes sure to tell him that every time he comes into contact with him. Buggy doesn’t get why the other two are so hostile towards him when he’s literally never done anything to either of them… 

Plus, It’s not like he hasn’t tried to improve his relationship with the other two because he has, several times actually. Crocodile and Mihawk just have no interest in having even a somewhat normal, healthy work relationship with him because they hate Buggy’s guts and think he’s undeserving of their respect and friendship.

But Buggy can’t figure out why! It just sucks…This whole Cross Guild thing sucks. Mihawk and Crocodile make his life so miserable, but, ahaha, that’s fine… 

…

Once the flagship Crocodile wanted so badly is finally finished, Buggy’s men excitedly grab him, pulling him towards the docks, and Buggy loves their excitement...he just wishes he could share it. He doesn’t care about that stupid ship. Crocodile has screamed at him so many times over it, impatient and not seeming to understand that you can’t just make a ship overnight, and Buggy just… he hates this thing already without having seen it.

 “Chairman Buggy, you’re going to love it!”

“It’s a ship fit for a king!”

“Close your eyes, close your eyes! We want you to be surprised when you see it.”

Buggy closes his eyes like his men tell him to, feeling a little nervous, but he pushes that feeling aside because he gave his crew specific blueprints to follow, so hopefully they were able to build a ship that satisfies Crocodile (if that’s even possible.)

“Okay! You can open your eyes now, Chairman Buggy.”

“...” Yeah, he sure is surprised when he opens his eyes and sees the ship his men have made for Cross Guild. C-clown…There’s a clown figurehead… he thinks, utterly horrified. Now if his men would have made him a giant ship that was circus-themed and used his likeness as a figurehead in the past, he’d be ecstatic. This is the exact kind of ship that he’d want, however, this couldn’t be further from what Crocodile wanted. He…He swears that he gave his men blueprints for the ship that Crocodile wanted to be made, and yet they still…

“Over here, sirs! Look at the ship we built!”

Buggy doesn’t even have the energy to run anymore at this point. He knows who’s behind him without having to look, and… here it comes, Buggy thinks, sighing to himself. It’s not like he asked for this ship, in particular, to be built, his men just worship him like he’s a god, and, ironically, at times he can’t control what they do. They must have thought the original design for the ship was boring and needed to look flashier…Which it did… but, fuck.  

“For fuck’s sake!” Crocodile gasps, “I gave you fucking blueprints!” And Buggy gave those blueprints to his men, who obviously ignored them and wanted to make a ship that looked just like Buggy instead.

“...That thing is hideous…” Mihawk comments quietly.

“I’m so fucking tired of you fucking everything up!” Crocodile yells, “Get your ass in the meeting room, now.”

Crocodile literally grabs him by the hair and drags him away from the docks, his men see all of this, and yet… they somehow still remain oblivious. Do they think it doesn’t hurt Buggy to be grabbed by the back of his head? Or do they think Buggy and Crocodile are playing some kind of cute game?!

The same men who say they’d give their lives to protect Buggy and blindly follow him are high-fiving each other and bragging about the ship they just made for him, either oblivious or uncaring towards the fact that the very man they worship is being pulled away to his doom.

There are tears in Buggy’s eyes long before they even reach the meeting room. He doesn’t think he’s going to make it to see the day the marines come after their heads because he’s pretty sure today’s the day he’s going to die. Crocodile throws him into the meeting room, and he stumbles slightly, almost falling, but Buggy catches himself at the very last moment and sighs shakily, awaiting Crocodile’s wrath. “You really like getting on my nerves, don’t you?!” Crocodile asks, still yelling at him. No, Buggy does not like getting on Crocodile’s nerves, if anything it’s the complete opposite. “Why’d you do it, huh?” he asks, raising his hand high up in the air. 

“I did-..” What Buggy wants to say is: ‘I didn't tell them to make that fucking ship. My men just do what they want, I'm fucking sorry.” but he of course doesn’t get the chance to say that. Crocodile brings his palm down, striking his cheek, and Buggy knew it was coming but he’s still left stunned as his tears start falling down his cheeks.

Buggy didn’t do anything.

Buggy never does anything to deserve this bullshit.

 

Why does he always take all of his frustrations out on Buggy, especially over things that he can’t control or over things that don’t even make sense when you stop to think about them? Buggy’s a coward, right? Since Buggy’s a coward, why would he do something like have a ship that looked like him built? Surely he wouldn’t want to anger Crocodile more. Surely, he wouldn’t have that ship made if he was really trying to make Crocodile mad and then turn around and beg for mercy afterwards…

That just doesn’t make sense. 

Why does he always hit him?

“Look at me when i’m speaking to you.” Crocodile orders, grabbing Buggy by the face roughly and turning it towards his direction. Buggy didn’t even realize he wasn’t looking at him... “I gave you fucking blueprints, why does the ship look like that?” He asks, but he doesn’t wait for a reply before he strikes Buggy in the face again, “Are you trying to fuck with me?” 

“No!” Buggy whines pathetically, trying to get just one full fucking sentence in, “I-”

“Bullshit!” 

Why does Buggy even bother to defend himself? He won’t listen. They won’t listen. They hate him, they want him to suffer, they want him dead. If it weren’t for his status as an emperor, they would have killed him ages ago and fed him to the fish. “I’m so fucking tired of you, clown. You really can’t do a goddamn thing!” Yeah, Buggy knows. 

Crocodile grabs him by his collar and yanks him forward, and he knows what's coming next. Crocodile is going to beat his face in with that cold metal hook of his again. He closes his eyes and braces himself for Crocodile’s punch, but it never comes.

Before Crocodile can punch him, Mihawk grabs Crocodile’s upper arm with a sigh, “I’m tired of listening to his insufferable crying, leave him alone.”

“You telling me what to do?”

The mood in the room was already volatile, but Mihawk somehow made things worse. Mihawk and Crocodile glare at each other while Buggy continues to weep, afraid that at any moment he could get hit again by Crocodile. 

Maybe he should be happy right now. If he’s lucky Mihawk and Crocodile will take all of their anger and frustrations out on each other instead of Buggy, but Buggy is still shaking, weeping, and at his limit…And He’s not sure what pushed him over the edge. Maybe it’s from being hit, or maybe it’s from being screamed at, or maybe it’s all the stress he’s been under lately, maybe it’s all three. He doesn’t know, he just…

He can’t stop crying. 

“Leave him alone. You said you wanted to have a meeting earlier, so let’s start it.” Mihawk repeats, and Buggy wishes he had a fraction of the courage Mihawk has, and that he could just stand up to both of them. “You know i hate having my time wasted.” 

“Like i give a fuck.” Crocodile coldly replies, but he lets go of Buggy a moment later, shoving him to the ground, and Buggy’s unsure what to do next. Just like always Crocodile's going to just scream at Buggy and hit him, and then act like he did nothing…Actually, they’re both going to act like nothing’s happened. They want to actually have a meeting after all that...

Crocodile and Mihawk are so…

“Have a fucking seat, clown.” 

“Quit that crying while you're at it, you’re giving me a headache.”

Buggy picks himself up off the ground, doing what he’s told and having a seat in his usual spot at the meeting table. He’s usually well put together and at the very least he can hold his emotions in until he’s out of the room and far away from the other two. Today’s a little different though. His tears continue to fall as the meeting gets started, and he can barely pay attention to what Crocodile is saying. 

Crocodile sighs as he sits back in his chair and lights a cigar, “Back to the topic of Prickly Pear Island. We aren’t ready for a full takeover, but i’d like to take a little trip there, meet with a couple of people, and see if we can get things moving.” 

Buggy leans forward, resting his head against the cool surface of the table as Crocodile continues to talk. His heart hurts. He hates this all. His home is going to be destroyed, and if his men aren’t killed then Mihawk is going to get rid of them as soon as he finds someone better suited for Cross Guild. Not to mention Buggy himself is on death row, and could be killed by anyone or anything at any given moment. He hates Cross Guild. He hates Mihawk and Crocodile. He hates his life. 

“It’s going to be a pain in the ass, but we have to bring the clown with us,” Crocodile announces, adding to Buggy’s despair. He doesn’t care about that stupid island. He doesn’t want to go, the only reason they’re bringing him is because he’s basically a human shield at this point and the government won’t attack them if he’s around. “And as much as i hate that fuckin ship, it’s all we got for right now.” Does Crocodile think he’s the only one who hates the ship? Buggy fucking hates it too, he doesn’t even want to go near it. 

“But i say we get some more supplies and recruits just in case, and leave in about a month and a half.” He pauses, “I’m giving you one last chance, clown. Get the ship and men ready, and If you fuck this up, it’s over. We don’t need you as much as you think we do.”

Those harsh words echo in Buggy's head as soon as they leave Crocodile's mouth. We don’t need you as much as you think we do… 

If they’re going to kill him, they might as well get it over with. “Just kill me already.” Buggy sobs, but he has no idea if either of the two can even understand him, he’s pretty much a blubbering mess at this point. What’s the point in waiting a whole month and some change? Crocodile’s going to find something, no matter how trivial, to get mad at him about, so why doesn’t he just kill him already and get it over with? His life means nothing, right? They want him dead, right?! 

Crocodile chuckles cruelly, “What do you think, Hawkeye? Should I finish him off now?” So this really is all just a sick game to him, huh? Buggy figured as much. Whatever. If he’s dead then at least he won’t have to deal with these two…

“You’re going to do whatever you please regardless of what I say,” Mihawk sighs, already getting back up from his seat, “I’m growing tired of you both, honestly,” he says, and as soon as he says those words the air in the room grows thick again.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Crocodile frowns. 

“He’s useless and you’re an overconfident fool.” 

“You wanna fucking fight?”

“I don’t. I’m not going to let you waste anymore of my time. Have a good evening, gentlemen.” 

Crocodile looks irate as Mihawk leaves the meeting room, “Arrogant prick,” He complains. He glances over at Buggy for a moment, “You aren’t even worth my goddamn time right now.” He mutters cruelly before getting up from his seat, “Fucking Hawkeye, ruining my meeting…” he grumbles as he follows after Mihawk, or at least that’s what Buggy assumes he’s doing, but he doesn’t really care. 

He stays in his seat, and his vision is blurry as he stares at nothing in particular in front of him, sniffling here and there. So just like that he gets to live another day in terror, huh? Another day with them? He doesn’t get it, why does he have to live and die by their hands? 

“Captain!”

“Captain, Are you okay?!” 

Cabaji and Mohji suddenly burst into the room, catching Buggy off guard and yanking him out of his thoughts. They pull him out of his chair, embracing him tightly. Oh, he doesn’t deserve this kind of warmth…  “Those guys are…” Mohji trails off… 

“Yeah, they’re…are you sure we have to keep them around?” Cabaji whispers, finishing the other man’s sentence. Yeah. Yeah, unfortunately, Mihawk and Crocodile are here to stay, and even after Buggy’s long gone, who knows how long they’ll keep Buggy’s men in their grasp. They could get rid of them in an instant, or keep them until they’ve worked them to death, depending on who gets a say in things.  

“Captain Buggy…Every time I turn around, I see you crying these days.”

“Yeah, Captain, are you sure you’re doing okay?” 

No, of course, Buggy isn’t okay. But he’s…He’s Buggy. He’s a clown, he’s their leader, he’s like a father (or sometimes a God) to his crew… he’s supposed to put smiles on their faces and their fears to rest, he… He forces himself to smile, though his voice is still shaky as he speaks, “A-are you kidding me?! I’d never let those two get to me…” He tells them, but his voice is small, broken, and full of insecurity. 

“Captain…” They both call out at the same time, expressions full of worry as they stare at Buggy and continue to hug him. 

“Hey, forget those guys! It’s getting late, let’s go have some fun!” Mohji suggests with a grin.

“Yeah! We’ll put a smile on your face captain.” Cabaji nods. 

...

Buggy stumbles out of Mohji’s tent, intoxicated and muttering things to himself. Turns out drinking doesn’t always make you feel better, who would have known? Just kidding! He’s well aware that alcohol can’t solve all his problems, or any of them, really. It sure never made the pain he felt once his captain died or Shanks left better…But whatever, he doesn’t want to think about either of them because thinking about them makes him sad, well, sadder, haha.  

He’s always been a rather…emotional drunk and alcohol has never comforted him, and he knows that. He doesn’t even know why he agreed to drink in the first place…But whatever, it’s too late. He’s got whiskey in his system, and he feels worse than he did before he agreed to drink with Cabaji and Mohji as he tries to remember which direction his tent is in. His tent is…Hm… He thinks it’s just south of the docks…Where are the docks again? 

...and what way is south?

Whatever, he'll figure it out. It’s so hard to see around the island during the night… he swears he ordered more lights to be put up…. Or maybe he thought he made that order, Buggy can’t remember right now. Whatever, he’s tired and sad, and he kinda feels sick. No, actually he feels really sick and he can’t tell if he should lie down or find a trash can. Who cares though, nothing matters because…

I’m gonna die soon... 

Tonight might be the last time he ever gets to see Cabaji and Mohji, and Richie too, and he made sure to hug all of them before he left. Crocodile is going to kill him. He’s going to stab him in the chest with his hook! Or throw him into the ocean and let him drown! Or maybe he’ll dry him out like a piece of jerky and leave him to die a slow, painful death! Who knows, there’s just so many things he can do! Maybe he’ll get Mihawk involved. Maybe they’ll both beat him to death and leave him to succumb to his injuries. 

Ha, what a pathetic life he’s lived! He didn’t even get to see the one piece once, but all well, maybe his captain will tell him what it’s like once they meet up together again. He stares up at the night sky. Sweet, there’s a full moon out, he thinks as he takes in his surroundings. The earth seems to tilt and spin as he tries to walk without falling over, and he laughs to himself. if Crocodile and Mihawk saw him right now, they’d call him pathetic and tell him he should just die now before he disgraces his crew further.  

He should just die…?

He should just shut up and die. After all, he’s pathetic, he’s worthless, he’s a sniveling crybaby who can’t do a goddamn thing! Buggy chuckles bitterly again. Oh, man, they’re right. How did he become one of the four emperors of the sea? Surely that title should have gone to one of them instead, or perhaps one of the members of the worst generation? They’ve been causing quite a stir lately… man, even a child would have been more deserving of such a title than him. 

Buggy does make it to his tent, despite the world being wobbly and all, but he pauses before he can go inside. Hm. He turns back around a moment later, heading toward the docks instead after a rather grim idea pops up in his head.

It’s been a fun life or at least the first…fourteen years were. Everything after that one thing was kind of… He doesn’t want to think about it. Orange Town was fun, kinda, he had a fun time running things and making people tremble in fear… What the fuck happened? He used to be so…intimidating. Now he’s a coward who spends the majority of his time crying and hiding from his problems. Fuck, his captain is going to be so pissed at him for letting two assholes come around and ruin his life.

“I’m so sorry,” Buggy mutters quietly. His feet feel heavy as they make contact with the wooden docks below him. Now that he thinks about it, things are quite peaceful right now. He thinks that this is how he’d like to remember Emptee Bluffs Island; as either a beautiful, peaceful island or a cheerful one bustling with life. He doesn’t want to know what'll look like once the Marines get their hands on it nor does he want to imagine it.

As he heads towards the end of the dock, his eyes suddenly notice a large figure that he didn’t originally see, sitting quietly in the moonlight. He sniffles, wiping his eyes slightly and trying to figure out who could possibly be sitting at the end of the dock in the middle of the night. Tall, Broad shoulders, spiky hair…Hawkeye? But…He doesn’t have his sword with him…No, it doesn’t matter, it’s still him, and he realizes that fact a little late because of his current state.

 

“Still crying?” Mihawk asks without even having to look back. How does he know it's him without having to look? Is Buggy really that big of a crybaby that everyone knows it's him crying without having to so much as look in his direction? “I didn’t think that Crocodile had that big of an effect on you.” 

Is he serious right now?! 

Why doesn’t he fucking get it!

This jerk doesn’t even know what it means to be human, he has no idea what Buggy’s feeling right now. He just judges him and criticizes him, and-- Buggy hates him, he hates them. He hates himself. He hates Cross Guild. He hates his fucking life! “You’re really awful,” Buggy blurts, and once he starts airing his grievances he can’t stop, no longer remembering why he even came to the docks in the first place now that he has Mihawk in his sights, “You treat me like a piece of shit and expect me to be fine with it. I hate you.” 

“Are you drunk?” Mihawk asks, glancing over his shoulder at him. 

Yeah, maybe Buggy is drunk? So fucking what? “I’ve never done anything to either of you, and yet you treat me so horribly, and i’m sick of it. I’m so tired of living like this. So, if you’re going to kill me, just do it!” he tells him, voice slurring and raising slightly, “You want me dead so bad, don’t you? I’m worthless and cowardly, aren’t i? You’re sick of me, aren’t y–”

Mihawk sighs, and if Buggy were sober he would be able to recognize the signs that indicate that Hawkeye is growing irritated, and get the hell out of there but he’s piss drunk and he just doesn’t care. “Be quiet, will you?” Mihawk orders him, turning back around and looking up at the night sky.

“No! I’m tired of being quiet. I’m tired of being bossed around, i’m tired of being told i’m useless, i’m tired of being beaten within an inch of my life. You do know that i’m human too, right? Or do you just not care?” 

“Did you come here looking for an apology?” Mihawk asks, a hundred times more calm, cool, and collected than Buggy could ever hope to be. 

“Who gives a fuck about an apology!? I just want it all to end. I hate you so much.” 

“You’ve made that clear.”

You’ve made that clear? That’s all he can say? No apologies? No arguments? No beating him? Nothing now? Now Buggy's unworthy of even getting his ass beat? “I fucking hate you.” Buggy repeats, this time with more emotion in his voice. Mihawk might not care, but Buggy still wants him to know how much he hates him and how much he’s ruined his life. 

“...”

“What did i do to you?! We hardly know each other.” 

“...”

“Oh, so now you’re not going to say anything? After everything you’ve said, now you want to be quiet? I hate you, i hate you, i hate you.”

“Buggy, go to bed. I’m not going to fight you.”

Why?! Why is it the one time Buggy finally gets to say what’s on his mind, he’s instantly being dismissed? Why does he have to go to bed when his heart is pounding and he has so much adrenaline that he feels like he can run a full marathon? “You fight me all the time. Wait, no, no no, we don’t fight. You just beat the shit out of me because i’m beneath you. What’s different this time, huh? Why don’t you want to deal with me now?” 

Mihawk gets up from where he’s sitting with a groan, “Just go to bed, you’re drunk and i don’t feel like dealing with you.” He raises his hand, and Buggy’s drunk brain starts screaming that he’s going to get hit again, and he closes his eyes, flinching, waiting for Mihawk to hit him or punch him. 

But he doesn’t.

Mihawk puts his hands on Buggy’s shoulder and spins him around, shoving him forward, “Go.” he orders sternly, and Buggy listens this time, sniffling and crying as he returns back to his sleeping quarters for the night.  

He just hates him so much…

((A/n: No, listen... I know they're horrible to him. i can fix them. TRUST ME. Also no one asked but i got rid of that plot line where Buggy's like uwu i wanna go after the one piece too now that my ex is after it bc... like that aint got shit to do with this story.))

#one piece #cross guild #the way i started tearing up at during the scene with buggy crying and just trying to smile #that that right there means so much to me #idk how to explain it but that scene made me very emotional #just... buggy trying to be “brave” trying to show at least to some of his closer crew members that he is okay #that really hit me #ugh i love this story and i want more

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

playing dress-up wish fulfillment post-timeskip Ace?

#one piece #portgas d ace #HES SO PRETTY OMG #the way i legitimately had to stop myself from crying/screaming when i saw this bc i was in the middle of work

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

No one wants Luffy 😭😭

No wonder he’s terrified of being alone

#one piece #baby luffy!! omg #and with crocodad #love that #best thing ever

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

I just love silly blue hair men I guess. Impel Down was a good arc! Maybe one of my favorites.

#One Piece #buggy the clown #IMPEL DOWN BUGGY MY BELOVED !!! #i am not immune to this version of buggy #absolutely feral for him

[ill-sleep-when-im-dead]

Yep🫠

⟵previous things like that

#one piece #cross guild #buggy the clown #crocodile #dracule mihawk #genderbend #can i just say the cross guild polycule is my fave #these sketches are wonderful #also same mihawk same #those look so comfy