dr doofenschmirtz would have done this but for like some totally different reason he’d be like you see perry the platypus im sick of all the four-armed four-legged people buying up all the good mittens for winter. now when i have to go out and shovel the snow off the sidewalk in front of my evil building i have to use my old mittens and they’re not waterproof and my hands get wet and its very uncomfortable. now if i split these people in half they’ll be so busy looking for their other half they won’t even remember to go to the annual summer tri state area mitten sale!! and they’ll have less hands to buy mittens for too. and then perry would kick him in the face and knock the human splitter inator remote out of his hand and it would accidentally fire a beam all the way across town and candace would be like YOULL SEE MOM PHINEAS AND FERB MERGED THEMSELVES AND THEIR FRIENDS INTO A HORRIFIC HUMAN CONGLOMERATE but the inator beam would hit them and unfuse them right as candace brought her mom to the yard and her mom would be like hi kids do you want a snack and they’d all be laying in the grass like haha sure mrs flynn fletcher! and candace would be like WUH. BUT MOM O_O and then dr doofenschmirtz would be like ah well. at least i can still beat the four-armed four-legged people to the annual summer tri state area winter boots sale. but then he gets trampled by a mob of the four-armed four-legged people in big boots and theyre all like IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO THE ANNUAL SUMMER TRI STATE AREA WINTER BOOTS SALE EARLY AND BOUGHT ALL THE GOOD BOOTS! and doctor doofenschmirtz is lying on the ground all crumpled and goes CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUUUUUUUS!!!!!