importantthingsbyred

[importantthingsbyred]

I saw a thing earlier saying that men cheat because they don't fear consequences, and I'm not saying that's wrong. But I am saying the implication that women don't cheat because they "fear consequences", is odd.

Like when someone cheats, it strikes me as more weird that they were ok with it, you know? Like the point of being in a relationship with someone, is because you want to be committed to them. (And there is a very big debate here about like how society shoves the idea of marriage and commitment down peoples throats to the point where it puts people in a lot of unhappy relationships. among other things) but my point is, I don't think people shouldn't cheat because they fear consequences, I think they shouldn't cheat because they don't want to. Like, if the thing that keeps you from cheating is just "I don't wanna face the consequences"....maaaybe you're not in the happiest relationship...

#there's also the thing of some men marrying just to get a new 'mother' to look after them. that's dumb #and then there is also the thing of men wanting to be open getting mad when their wives actually bang someone else

[importantthingsbyred]

the debate of "facial serums and masks are a scam! Just look at me, I've done nothing to my skin but soap and water and my skin is fine!" is so exhausting. Could it perhaps be, that different people, have different skin needs?

#also. the fear of visual aging is a natural thing. #it's something that has existed since the dawn of humanity. we like our face looking a certain way. familiarity is comforting. #that's ok #you shouldn't fear looking bad but fearing change is normal and fine #it ok

[importantthingsbyred]

I think something everyone needs to remember is that it takes a STRONG person to fight beauty standards. It's SO much strength to not do things you've been taught all your life is the standard.

And then the line between "I do this because I've been taught to" and "I do this because I want to." becomes hella blurred.

My mother forced my to shave my underarms. I felt violated and watched. And yet, I still do it, and when I don't, my underarms itch. And now I prefer the smoothness, I prefer my underarms, arms, and legs to be smooth.

So we get to that blurred line of "am I doing this because I hate myself, or because I want to." and the answer is yes, to both.

I wear a bra because I was forced to. and now I'm at a point where I will never not wear one in front of anyone, family included, night time included. If I go on a family vacation, I go to bed with a bra. I hate it, but it's become a mental comfort blanket. And I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable trying to fight this. It's not just a case of "i don't feel comfortable with you seeing me braless." it's also become "You don't get to see me comfortable with your presence. This is my barrier between you and my body, this is my armor." Because that's what it's become. It has become my armor, my comfort, and my spite.

My mom will walk around the house without a bar, and it's like "how dare you...how dare you do that, when you enforced me to wear one as a kid? How dare you get offended when I wont talk about bra's with you, when you'd force me to show you my strap before we left the house, when I was a kid.

So no, you don't get to see me be comfortable about my body with you. You made your bed, now lie in it.

I guess where I'm going with this, is,

Thank you.

Thank you to all of those who fight the unhealthy, unfair, beauty standards. A lot of us can't, and never will, fight the way you do. And I'm so happy that you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Just, thank you. and keep being happy with yourself. :)

#beauty standards #I'm just glad my makeup experience ended up being my entire own choice and I fully enjoy it. :) no one corrupted that for me.

[importantthingsbyred]

Telling people about issues with your pets is so annoying because they often do not get just how smart your pet is.

My dog currently refuses to eat her diet food, or just normal dog food. Why? I'm not entirely sure, she had tooth surgery back in fall of last year and ever since then has been extremely picky. It's like, I can only get her to eat human food now. She used to eat one specific dog food for years, and now, it's a struggle.

We've tried waiting it out, all that has happened from that is her not eating anything for days before finally we are forced to make her some dog safe human food that she'll eat. She's lost weight, because she is so determined to not eat her dog food. I'm at a loss.

and nobody seems to grasp that. The vets usually either don't quite grasp the severity of our issue or scold us with a smile.

Our dog knows she can wait it out because we wont let her starve.

I'm annoyed, I'm upset, I'm frustrated, and I'm infuriated.

[importantthingsbyred]

I saw a thing saying every man should be hooked up to a period cramp simulator so they can see what women go through, and I understand the sentiment, but like...

If he don't believe you when you say it hurts, if he don't believe women everywhere screaming about the pain, frankly he don't deserve the effort of putting him through a period cramp simulator. Dude's a lost cause.

If someone doesn't believe you when you say you're in pain, they're not worth the effort. Let em rot in a ditch, and next time he complains of pain, tell him you don't believe him.

#They don't deserve proof they deserve a taste of their own arrogance and willful ignorance.

[importantthingsbyred]

i think the world would be a better place if people didnt clutch pearls so much at curse words.

They're not magic, nobody dies when they're said, they don't make you violent, and are really no worse than the non-curse equivalent.

Meanwhile, currently, I could get shot at Walmart.

Sharon, quit clutching the pearls and realize you've just been conditioned to have a knee jerk reaction to nothing.

[importantthingsbyred]

it's so annoying, that so many older people will be like "nobody wants to work these days." AND THEY PROCEED TO MAKE THE WORK PLACE, THE MOST AWFUL, UNENJOYABLE, POORLY PAIDED, HATE FILLED PLACE, THAT ANYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH!

Like no shit no one wants to work, they got old people complaining about their every fucking move, and that's not even counting lgbt stuff. Pay people better, make work places more comfortable, quit being scared of tattoos or unnatural hair color, and learn to mind your business and be respectful about peoples sexuality's and gender orientation.

[importantthingsbyred]

Being a woman (or closeted transman) is so infuriating, because every, single, second, of your life, is analyzed, questioned, and torn down.

You dislike makeup? People say you're ugly and don't try hard enough.

You like makeup? You are feeding into patriarchy and "hiding your true beauty" OR "your being sexy, and/or asking for it."

Wanna play with makeup at a younger age because you think its fun? You'll be met with like 200 facebook Karen's who think your parents are neglectful, and are allowing their child to look "sexy" or "grown up." Not to mention those Karen's yelling about how "let kids be kids and play with their dolls and teddys!" or how your "attracting pedos."

Wanna take dance? At least a few people will decide you are being groomed to act like an adult, and several people assuming you must be in a dance moms situation.

Skinny? You don't let yourself enjoy food enough.

Chubby? You don't take care of your body enough.

Like conservatives clothing? You're not bold enough.

Like revealing clothing? You are asking for it, or are trying to conform to society beauty standards.

AND THATS IGNOREING ALL THE OTHER TYPICAL SEXISM WE FACE EVERYDAY!

I know I'm complaining about a 200 year old argument, and basically ranting about the sky being blue, but I just...I need people, to kindly, STFU! and just let women exist, without some stupid ass debate, or making discussions about society in the wrong places.

#feminism #women #i'm just so tired #I'm so tired of it all

[importantthingsbyred]

I saw a real dumb ad a few years ago saying "donate your extra tampons and pads to such n such." and I'm like...we don't have "extra tampons." Whatever is left, gets used the next cycle? what?? XD

#women

[importantthingsbyred]

hey, here's a key bit of advice for people of every age. In an era of phone and email, don't just fucking show up at someone's house without asking first, or specifying a time.

I love my grandparents, but I'm a young woman with body issues, I NEED TIME TO PUT ON MAKE UP, GET DRESSED, AND SHAVE MY LEGS! AND I DON'T WANNA BE PRESSED FOR TIME, AND I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT BEING WOKEN UP AT A RANDOM TIME IN THE MORNING AND HAVIN TO AWNSER IN MY ROBE WITHOUT ANYMAKE UP.

i'm having a moment, ok?

[importantthingsbyred]

how...how can turfs be so stupid? i just don't get it.

[importantthingsbyred]

love how I just bought an Ebook for 70 books about graphic design, and I wont be able to access again once I'm done with collage. love that.

#I'm basically renting an ebook FOR 70 BUCKS #I DIDNT EVEN NEED IT FOR LEARNING #I NEEDED IT BECAUSE MY TEACHER INSISTED I NEEDED TO USE SOME QUOTES FROM THE BOOK!

[importantthingsbyred]

i hate the concept of "millennial snowflakes" so much. like i'm so sorry i decided that I'm gonna hold people accountable for their toxic behaviors. We don't advance as a society by refusing to acknowledge flaws in the way we do things.

#random

[importantthingsbyred]

pro's of being online; up to date on things, knowledge, entertainment.

cons; people are mean, picky, over serious, and it's just depressing over all.

it's a tough choice XD

#random

[importantthingsbyred]

i hate that the two extremes of periods are

"extreme disgust to the point that we feel ashamed of our bodies for things we cannot help"

and

"YOUR PERIODS MAKE YOU WOMEN! BE PROUD OF YOUR VAGINA BLOOD, IT COMES FROM THE GLORIOUS LIFE GIVING PROCESS"

like dude, i just wanna buy tampons/pads with the same normalcy of toilet paper or paper towels.

[importantthingsbyred]

This might be the dumbest article I've ever seen XD

Do-do yall not know what spa bath trays are for? it's FOR this kind of stuff. Have none of yall ever had a day off where you sit in a nice warm tub, drink some tea, and eat biscuits with your favorite jam. Whilst you listen you music, or an audio book?

Like I know we're an overworked generation with little free time, but surly you can make time to try this ONCE in a blue moon.

I don't think this stupid article shows the disconnect between designers and costumers, so much as it shows how rare people give themselves self care/spa days XD

#bath #spa

[importantthingsbyred]

Hey, I gotta ask, does anyone else get, well, 'triggered' by posts like "sex ed your parents didn't teach you" or "masturbation is lovely and healthy." and you KNOW these things are right, but do to a teenager/childhood trauma, they're really upsetting? Cause I'm like that and feel rather alone in it. When I was young, my mother did a lot of BS to me that she thought was helping, but ended up just really fucking me up. And the extent of these things, I'm STILL figuring out. Like I used toilet paper as tampons for YEARS because the idea of asking my mom for pads or tampons made me wanna hide in my closet and cry. I used to think I was ace just because I was that way, and while that still could be part of it, I've slowly realized I'm more ace because I'm so protective of my own body due to her treatment of me.

And it's weird because my trigger is not porn or smut, my trigger is very specifically "sex ed." when sexual topics are being presented in a educational manner. That's when I truly feel awful. and it's such a hard trigger to avoid, because it's just grouped with 'nsfw.' And It's likely not a common trigger, so it's not like I can expect people to tag it specifically as 'sex ed.'

And I know all this sex education is great, I'm not complaining about it, I just...

Is there anyone who understands? I feel quite alone in this.

#life #random