jacobhasbadideas

[jacobhasbadideas]

That really is it.

[jacobhasbadideas]

[jacobhasbadideas]

this is the money ammy. reblog for blessed funds

[jacobhasbadideas]

[jacobhasbadideas]

I am deranged and unhinged and my body is a vessel for art, my muse is madness.

#weird shit #youtube #freaky #Youtube

[jacobhasbadideas]

welcome to 2023 :) happy out of touch thursday

[jacobhasbadideas]

Ruby: “You’re allowed to own weapons in Atlas?”

Weiss: “What? yes, of course we’re allowed to own weapons here in Atlas! In fact, I own a custom Five-Seven with an extended clip.”

Ruby: (Rolling her eyes) “Of course you’d own a Five-Seven Weiss.”

Weiss: “Well, yeah? It has a buff against the poor.”

[jacobhasbadideas]

Hey all, our first episode of Resident Evil 5 highlights dropped. Come watch @tanakavox and I die. A lot.

[jacobhasbadideas]

Stream Schedule: Resident Evil Five, Amid Evil, and Dusk

Hey all, just wanted to update you all on the upcoming streams I have planned for this week. On Friday, I’ll be resuming streaming Resident Evil 5 with @tanakavox​ returning as my co-streamer as we continue from where we last left off. We’ll be streaming around 4:00(1600) PM Pacific Standard Time/7:00(1900) PM Eastern Time Zone

On Saturday I’ll be streaming Amid Evil, a First Person Melee boomer shooter developed by New Blood Interactive and one I’ve been dying to play for a while now. The stream will start around 1:00(1300) PM Pacific Standard Time/4:00(1600) PM Eastern Time Zone.

And finally, I’ll be streaming Dusk, another excellent Boomer Shooter from New Blood Interactive and one that I had streamed back when I was still trying to stream on Twitch. The dusk Stream will also start around  1:00(1300) PM Pacific Standard Time/4:00(1600) PM Eastern Time Zone.

Lots of games to cover, but I hope to see you all join in and hopefully have a good time!

[jacobhasbadideas]

Crux: A Fire of Unknown Origin - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Death and Rebirth

My head pounding as hard as a blacksmith’s hammer, I sat up, feeling my bones chilled and creaky. More creaky than usual in fact. Actually, creaky to an absurd degree, what the fuck?

I looked down upon what appeared to be a bleached pile of bones covered in rubble and ice. I did not see anything remotely resembling a normal human body with organs, skin, and humors. Just bones, boney old bones.

“Well, this is concerning,” I narrated to myself aloud, echoing in the small stone and dirt (and icy) area I currently found myself in. I pulled myself together, a tad literally, and stood. I was capable of motion, that’s good, and I managed to get myself up and moving.

My bones creaked as I walked through what appeared to be some sort of tomb, long forgotten and slightly destroyed from the elements. How long was I out? In fact, when did I become Mr. Bones here? I feel as if I’d have been more freaked out had my head, whatever was inside it, wasn’t so foggy, on top of the searing pain I felt within it. A true headache from Hell, which is possibly where I’m from. Can’t seem to remember.

This memory fog was a pain in the ass. Here I am, naked to the bone, and I have no idea how I got here, or really where I was. It was cold, and ruin-y, that’s all I had. As I wandered my way around this little tomb, I eventually found the exit. I took a step out, and the memories of where I was slowly came back together.

Outside this tomb was an exquisitely profane collection of necromantic architecture. A frozen solid well in the center of the collection of buildings and bizarrechtecture was disgusting in the most pleasant way. Instead of water coming out of the four skulls in the center of the well, it was the most crimson blood you have ever seen, currently frozen in place, showing the temperatures at present. Next to this was a collection of perfectly preserved corpses, waiting for use, nefarious or otherwise. Whatever I had been doing before my long rest could not have been good.

It was slowly coming back, the big piece of information I was lacking about myself. Who was I? What was my purpose here? Why am I a walkin’, talkin’, frosty skeleton? My answer came in the form of what I noticed next to all the dead bodies, in sort of a greedy way.

Bam. Right there. Treasure chests, piles of gold, supposed magic items. Now THAT got my undead synapses tingling, baby. Pure swag. I walked over and picked up the icy coins in my boney hands and just let them fall in and around them. This was pure dopamine in the form of shiny trinkets.

Whoever I was before, whatever darkness laid within my cursed bones, that didn’t matter so long as I could get more of this fucking treasure. And how would I do that? I diagnosed a way to do so. Clearly, I couldn’t have gotten this much treasure with only my bones and nothing to back them up. Next to the coins, I found a book. No ordinary book, mind you, but an elaborately decorated tome, with embroidered thread and leather backing. Upon the cover laid a skull, which, for you people in the slow lane, definitely gave off the implication of some necromancy.

This brought more together. How else was a skeleton gonna come to life and walk around like he’s got a report to file on a Friday night? Necromancy, baby, pure and simple. Well, maybe not pure, that’s a bad descriptor for powers over the damned and dead, but as all of this came together I could feel power surging through me as each magical neuron tingled.

I opened the tome of cursed knowledge, its pages pale and faded, words on the page difficult to read from the aging of the dark grimoire in the cold environment. I found one page I could still read, which was a start. Bone Dart. It was simple; a bone dart. I could do this in my sleep. But I needed…

Found it. As I dug through the treasure I found not one but two of the things I needed to make this happen. Two wands. Didn’t need them both, probably, but these were strange lookin’ wands I had no recollection of seeing before. They featured smooth barrels, and handles made of the finest wood in all of creation. They had odd mechanics to them, and likely had some greater purpose, but some mage, maybe even myself, had turned them into arcane, profane focuses for magical power. I took both in my hand and let myself grow used to carrying them. Once I had the feel down, I took aim at a few icicles upon the tomb I had woken up in.

Bone Dart… Bone Dart…. BONE DART! I fired the spell and easily shattered the icicle I had taken my aim upon. It was like riding a bike, or taking candy from a baby, or killing a man. I found my line of thinking to be strange in my comparisons to the ease of the spell, but therapy isn’t a widely practiced field in the frozen lands, to my recollection, and any weird problems I had would be more than solved with treasure hunting. At least, I think.

However, I was growing more and more aware of one issue I faced that would probably hit critical mass soon. It was FUCKING COLD. Jeez, I could feel ice forming in between the cracks in my bones and all my joints. How’s a fella supposed to stay alive in this outside of the binding grasp of undeath? I had to solve this issue quickly.

Looking within one of the chests I had likely liberated from some poor unprepared, illiterate, pathetic merchant, I found a robe, which was a start. It was black, and not very fancy, but the material was a thick fleece, befitting the environment, and would likely, hopefully, be easily enchanted to produce warmth at a rate befitting my preference. I slipped it on quickly, so as to not lose it underneath all the gold and treasure. The chest featured one other article of clothing to my interest, mainly because it was badass and befitting my perfect form.

Sitting there, folded in a fine pattern, was a long coat; leather and buttoned, its siren call sang to me in a bewitching manner that not even the cold grasp of undeath could resist. I unfolded it and looked upon it with awe. It was beautiful, only the finest of clothiers could make such a beautiful coat. I put it on and looked in a spot of ice, admiring my lovely undead form in these bitchin’ threads. It was just missing one thing, one TINY thing to bring it all together.

Burning within the depths of my memory was an old spell I used to use at some lost point to make my fiends on the field slightly more menacing, and I remembered it well as I sat there, looking at my badass form. It would certainly suit my new identity as “Skeleton Man in Bitchin’ Swag.” I snapped my boney fingers together, and a bright arcane flame took to my skull. Not enough to damage anything, but it looked spooky as shit, and it would suit the whole “creepy skeleton wizard man” vibe I had going here. 

Now all that was settled, I needed a name before I could set out in the name of treasure hunting. Strategy? Minions? Any idea of where I was remotely heading? Those were unimportant compared to the direness of a name.

Spook?

Zyzal?

Creepy Clide?

Holy shit I’m bad at names. I started looking around for any hints of my prior identity, but found evidence lacking. Did I ever write a goddamn thing down anywhere? Come on, man, this was important! The most… Important…

Crux.

Hey that sounded good. No last name, just Crux. That would due, that sounded badass!

With implements, clothing, a badass name, and cool fire hair, I was ready to take this world by storm. Spooky, undead storm. With that, I set out with a new name, and a probably new purpose in life.

Getting Paid.

#frostgrave #fanfiction #crux the skeleton #story

[jacobhasbadideas]

Some WIP pieces, some mine some for friends! Happy Frostgrave Friday!

[jacobhasbadideas]

Welcome to Frostgrave Fridays!

Here on Frostgrave Friday, I will make a couple posts showing progress and plans towards my Frostgrave group and terrain, friends' projects they send me, and of course, my big Frostgrave "Fanfic" I've been working on for months. Enjoy each Friday from here on out!

#frostgrave

[jacobhasbadideas]

[jacobhasbadideas]

[jacobhasbadideas]

Frostgrave Fridays coming soon!

Frostgrave Fridays will be a (hopefully) weekly event where I showcase SOMETHING from Frostgrave, be it parts from the books I find interesting, a chapter of my story taking place in the Frostgrave Universe, or even a mini or piece of terrain I printed (and hopefully painted) for the game! Some weeks will be more in depth than others, and I gotta make sure every time that it's posted to this Tumblr instead of MagicItemsRUs because I figure I gotta keep that blog purely about homebrew.

See you this Friday!

#Frostgrave #Frostgrave Fridays

[jacobhasbadideas]

what did you expect him to do man

[jacobhasbadideas]

I'm going to publish what essentially amounts to Frostgrave fanfiction here.

It'll be soon, just want to finish the next chapter and then I will publish one chapter a week for awhile until I think it's done.

#frostgrave #Crux the Skeleton Necromancer