jaeyunwrld

[jaeyunwrld]

this is so insane. 1000 notes IS CRAZY. thank you so much what the hell😭😭 im dreaming theres jo way😭

enha hyung line when you go for another idol's fansign !

a/n. heavily inspired by that fansign of op asking members about what they'd allow their so to do 😊 (edit: wow this is blowing up so while im here, shameless promo!!! i have other text works on this acc and also a main that has even more works aka @jaeminri ‼️)

© JAEYUNWRLD, 2023

[jaeyunwrld]

breathing room — a lee heeseung drabble

2.5k / enemies to lovers

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Lee Heeseung is having a hard time breathing.

Partly because he’s pretty sure he just got the wind knocked out of him. A little bit because of the year-old rib injury he had neither the time nor patience to let heal properly.

And mostly because there’s a blade being held to his throat.

Yours, to be exact.

It’s a nice one, all things considered. Despite its lethality, it’s small, delicate almost. From this angle, he can just make out the detailing on the hilt. A series of vines wrap around each other intricately, forming kaleidoscopic patterns that extend all the way from the blade to where your fingers are wrapped around the hilt, knuckles white from the way your hand is straining. 

Jesus, he thinks. If it takes that much concentrated effort for you to not let the knife press any harder against his skin, draw any blood, then maybe he should start taking the threats you throw his way like extra change a little more seriously. 

Lazily, he lets his eyes trace a line from your fingers to your face. Skipping over the rather boring details of the plain black training shirt you wear, he directs his attention to the way your brow furrows in concentration instead. 

Under usual circumstances, a knife to the throat would encourage all of his senses to narrow in on the sensation of metal against his pulse point. Would spur his brain to work a bit faster through all the biological fight or flight mechanisms in a last ditch attempt at survival. 

But these are not usual circumstances. In fact, ever since the two of you were split into separate training cohorts a handful of months ago, this has become a rarity. And the only thing Heeseung wants to do is enjoy it a little more. 

Without his self-preservation instincts kicking in, his brain has plenty of room for other things. The forgiving surface of a training mat beneath him, slightly soft where he lets his body relax into it. The unusually warm air of the training room, courtesy of a busted air conditioner that no one has gotten around to fixing just yet. 

The way your hair falls around your face as you lean over him, chest still heaving from your recent bout of exertion. Your eyes are pure fire, embers and ashes and every stage in between as you sit atop his ribcage, knees on either side of his torso where you pin him to the mat. 

But even as the lead trainer adds another tally underneath your name for another sparring match won, your gaze doesn’t soften. Doesn’t brighten in the afterglow of victory. After all, victory only tastes sweet when it’s earned. Judging by the way your lips twist above him, Heeseung thinks the victory he just handed you on a silver platter must be horribly bitter. 

Slowly, he raises his hands in mock surrender. There’s a half smile that looks a little too much like a smirk tugging at his lips when he says, “I concede.”

“No fucking shit.” You flick a strand of hair out of your face. Your knife presses a little tighter against his throat. “Did you even try?”

Heeseung maintains eye contact. “I think I’m doing us a both a favor by not answering that one.”

Narrowing your eyes, annoyance makes itself the most prominent of your visible emotions. “Interesting choice of words from someone with a knife to his throat.”

Heeseung all but rolls his eyes. “What are you gonna do? Kill me in front of everyone?” The way he wraps sarcasm up in every syllable is almost as infuriating as the way he just let you win without putting up any semblance of a fight. “You’ve got a mean streak, princess, but that’s a bit much, even for you.”

The pressure on your blade increases, and Heeseung fights a wince as he feels it break the barrier between his skin and blood. It’s a miniscule cut, surface level at most, but he hears the threat all the same. “It’s like you want to die,” you marvel. 

Heeseung’s eyes betray nothing, other than the fact that they can’t quite seem to stray from your own. Does he? No matter how deep inside himself he searches, the answer is always a resounding no. Despite the effort he put into this particular spar, or rather lack thereof, his survival instincts are still kicking. His pursuit of life is still alive and well. 

So no, he doesn’t want to die. Quite the opposite in fact. But if he were to explain in plain terms that he never feels quite as alive as he does in the moments when you’ve got a knife on his throat and hatred in your eyes, he has the distinct feeling you might well and truly make good on your frequent promise to send him to an early grave. 

And it’s not like he means to do it, not really. Heeseung might be a glutton for punishment these days, but there was a time when he tried to get your attention in all the regular ways. As he quickly found out, sweet words did nothing but make you roll your eyes and his skills on a sparring mat were only as impressive as they could be used to hone your own. 

He was a tool, in your eyes. A means to an end as you did your best to work your way up the ranks. 

You never looked at him, the person behind all the hand-to-hand combat training and advanced levels of weapon artistry. At least not until he started annoying the ever-living shit out of you. 

Back then, it had been easy. As new recruits, you were in the same training cohort, which meant you had the same daily schedules. As long as Heeseung had the chance to beat you to the last piece of toast in the dining hall at breakfast or tie the laces of your training boots together the night before an early morning, he was guaranteed at least one of your signature glares and a few choice words that would make his grandmother blush. 

Granted, he knows that one-sided hatred is not a very stable foundation to build anything solid on, but he thinks of it in the same way he thinks of sparring. 

He doesn’t need a knockout. He just needs an in. 

A little bit of breathing room. Something that will have his partner lowering their guard, weakening their defenses just enough for him to strike. Once. Twice. Again. Over and over until the match is won and victory rests on his square shoulders. 

Heeseung’s in this for the long haul, and he’s come to find that he doesn’t really care how many bruises he picks up along the way. 

Across the room, the lead trainer heaves a long sigh. 

“Alright, ___, that’s enough. You’ve earned your tally.” The most of anyone in today’s group. But you’re still glaring at him, and he knows it isn’t enough, not for you. “Heeseung, get it together. I expect better from you next time.”

You scoff. “Don’t hold your breath.” 

Expectations are only met when people are held to them, and you doubt Lee Heeseung has even become acquainted with the concept of a consequence. 

Releasing one final, sharp exhale, you pull your knife away from his throat, tucking it back into the sheath on your upper thigh in one fluid motion. Swinging your leg over his torso, you remove your body from his own, give your anger some space to breathe. Without looking back, you let your strides eat up the distance between you and the exit. 

Someone – you think it must be Jay, or maybe Jungwon, tries to catch your attention on the way out, asking about a maneuver you pulled in the middle of the match. A tricky bit of knife work you’ve been perfecting over the last few weeks. Something that looked stupid as Heeseung did nothing but stand there, as if your blade was nothing but decorative. Made you look stupid as he stood and watched with nothing but a mildly amused expression on his face. 

You hate him for it. Want to show him just how pretty your knife can be stained with the deep crimson he must bleed as surely as anyone else. 

Lips pulled in a taut line, you unsheath the blade at your thigh once again, this time sending it spinning with deadly accuracy towards the line of trees that skirt the outside of the training facility. 

You don’t miss. You never do. 

It still feels like defeat. 

…..

Heeseung notices when you’re not at dinner later that evening. Despite the fact that you no longer train together, the inter-cohort spars have shifted this week's schedule. You should be here, sitting next to Jay and Jungwon, probably, pointedly avoiding his gaze. 

But you’re not. And he can only think of one other place to find you. 

The training hall is dark when he arrives, but Heeseung is no fool. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust, but he sees you soon enough. Silhouette dark against the empty expanse, he has half a mind to intervene before you shred yet another punching bag to irreparable pieces. Instead, he just watches for a moment longer. He doesn’t know what to do with the feelings that start to simmer, that always linger. Doesn’t know if it’s admiration or longing or something far worse. But he wants to. Wants to examine them until he knows them as intimately as the back of his own hand, until he can recite them by name and express them in ways that don’t make you want to press a knife against his neck. 

And he wants to keep watching, keep looking, keep noticing. 

Even from a distance, even in the dark, he can read the frustration in the set of your shoulders, sense the exhaustion in the way your legs move just behind the rest of your body. 

You need a break. 

He needs an in. 

Across the room from you, Heeseung clears his throat. 

Startled, you nearly fall on your ass mid-kick before you turn to the source. It’s dark, but you know it’s him. Who else would it be? 

Chest rising and falling rapidly with exertion, you finally catch your breath well enough to tell him, “If you’re not here for a rematch, then you have exactly ten seconds to get out of this building.”

A beat passes. 

Another. 

Heeseung exhales. “And if I am?”

Bathed in the dying glow of moonlight, you go still. “Then you better put in your best fucking effort.”

Heeseung is across the room before you can release another breath. It’s ridiculous how quickly he disarms you. And you’re caught off guard, yes, but it doesn’t matter, not really. Your knife in his hands, he throws it to the corner of the room. And then it’s just the two of you. 

Heeseung spares neither time nor effort knocking your legs out from under you, sending you careening towards the mat. Screwing your eyes shut, you brace for the impact of a training mat that never comes, the back of your head cradled in a hand that serves as a barrier between you and the ground below. 

It’s a complete reversal of your earlier roles as he lets his legs fall to either side of you, face inches from your own. There’s no knife on your neck, and he was gracious enough to break your fall, but suddenly find your breath a difficult thing to catch regardless. 

Above you, his eyes are dark. Your noses nearly touch. “This is what you wanted?” he breathes, and you feel his words as much as you hear them. They dance across your cheekbone, your lips. Have your bones feeling molten, all your hard edges malleable. “You want me to fight you like I mean it? To really fucking spar with you?”

You’ve rehearsed your answer too long to deviate, even as your mind screams with sudden uncertainties. “Yes.”

Heeseung doesn’t spare it a second thought. “Too bad.”

“Why? You have no problem f–”

“I was there, you know.” Unbidden, the hand that doesn’t hold your head falls to the bottom edge of your black training shirt. Heeseung pauses there for a moment, lets his fingers trace the seam. Something in the air shifts, tightens, waits. Despite the way he has you caged, your hands are unbound. You could stop this, if you wanted to. Stop him. 

You don’t. 

Slowly, his hand begins to track an upward journey, taking your hem with it. The air of the room is warm, choked with summer heat and the odd sensations that simmer just beneath your skin, but you suppress a shiver anyway  as a sliver of skin is revealed. 

You know what he’s after, where his eyes fall to. It’s his fingers that hesitate. Dangle with uncertainty a hair's breadth from the scar that sits just above your hip bone. 

Heeseung inhales, eyes returning to your own for a moment. They’re searching for permission you won’t give and boundaries you won’t set. If he wants to walk this tightrope, he’ll have to navigate on his own. 

It’s a challenge he rises to. On his breath out, Heeseung lets his fingers find a home on the bare skin of your stomach, trace the jagged line that’s a shade paler than the surrounding area. 

It’s a scar you hardly think of, one you can’t believe he remembers. Gifted to you in your early days of training, when a fellow recruit thought the best way to better his ranking was to discard the strict sparring rules set by your superiors and draw blood as a last ditch attempt at victory.

You’d still won, even with a fresh stab wound on your lower abdomen. And he’d been shown the door, like all recruits that break protocol. 

“So what?” Your voice doesn’t come out nearly as biting as you intend it to. You curse the waver in your words. “I get one scar and suddenly I’m delicate?” 

Heeseung glances up, something sincere in his eyes when he matches your gaze. His hand is still on your skin. “We’re all delicate. And we all have the scars to prove it. I’ve just developed a particular… aversion to seeing evidence of it when it comes to you.”

You’re quick to school your features into neutrality. At least on the outside, you won’t give him the satisfaction of catching you off guard. “That sounds like a you problem.”

“Apparently not,” Heeseung counters. “Since I’m not the one begging for a fight.” He holds your gaze when he adds, “And I have to say, princess, if you wanted me to put you on your back, there are much easier ways to ask.”

It’s as if you’ve been submerged in hot water, as if you’ve been burned, when you push him off of you with a speed that’s almost comical. And from the way heat rises in your cheeks, you just might have been. 

Your voice is dangerously low when you tell him, “You have three seconds.”

“Until what?” Heeseung knows better than to be hopeful. 

“Until I find my knife and put it to good use.”

Heeseung doesn’t need to be told twice.

#recs ⁝ lee heeseung #lee heeseung ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

my god. thank you sm for 800 notes. this is crazy :( i never thought so many people would enjoy this !!!!!!!

enha hyung line when you go for another idol's fansign !

a/n. heavily inspired by that fansign of op asking members about what they'd allow their so to do 😊 (edit: wow this is blowing up so while im here, shameless promo!!! i have other text works on this acc and also a main that has even more works aka @jaeminri ‼️)

© JAEYUNWRLD, 2023

[jaeyunwrld]

damn. thank u for blowing this up guys :( i have not received this much love b4 on here.....

enha hyung line when you go for another idol's fansign !

a/n. heavily inspired by that fansign of op asking members about what they'd allow their so to do 😊

© JAEYUNWRLD, 2023

[jaeyunwrld]

❛ 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜ — PSH

SUMMARY. Sunghoon doesn’t realise just how much he craves — how much he needs — your presence until it’s no longer there.

pairing. park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre. angst with comfort, fluff, one shot, friends to lovers

word count. ~ 4-5k

notes. inspired by this prompt here 🤩🤩 i’m so sorry it took so long to do i totally forgot about it 😭 BUT here is the friends to lovers with sunghoon 😮‍💨. ( gif divider by @cafekitsune )

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ one. 𝙞 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

“SORRY, EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!”

You stumbled across the ice rink like a newborn fawn, following no clear path, relying solely on your waving arms to keep you upright. Skaters passing by gave you a wide berth as you sped forward. Children watched as you flew by. 

You should have expected that you’d eventually ram straight into someone. You just weren’t expecting it to be him of all people.

“Ow...” you winced as you lifted your back off the ice. When you spotted a boy across from you, you gasped and immediately got up (or, at least, as fast as you could with your level of skill, anyway). “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

The boy barely looked affected, as if he was used to the sensation of falling. “I’m fine,” he responded quietly, before standing. It was like he didn’t just have a fully-grown teenaged girl slam into him.

It was that moment you got a good look at his face.

Park Sunghoon, the so-called ‘Ice Prince’ of Hybe High. 

He had a… reputation, one could say. With a face that seemed carved from marble and an aura that left one guessing, it was no wonder why he had so many girls pining after him. Paired with his status as an accomplished athlete—a figure skater at that—it didn’t take a genius to know how he had earned his title.

Except, things weren’t usual all that simple, were they?

Park Sunghoon was an ‘Ice Prince’ in every definition of the word: not only did he reign supreme on the rink, he also had a knack for driving people away with his cold stare and even colder tone of voice. (Or so, the rumours went.)

It was just your luck, you supposed, that you had to bump into him.

He won’t be mad, would he? You fretted. 

But to your surprise, he was just the opposite.

Instead of telling you to “Get lost” (okay, you had to admit you only had your mangas to blame for this expectation) or to “Watch where you’re going” (again— the mangas), he actually held out a hand to you.

“Are you okay?”

In that moment, you were glad you were on the ground, because there was no way you like stay upright if Park Sunghoon looked at you the way he was now while standing.

You were already hyper aware of his physical attractiveness after seeing him from school. But those minor glimpses you’d get of him during class (when he wasn’t absent for figure skating training) or from across the hall did no justice to his face up close.

As he looked down at you, eyes full of concern, and a ray of light shining down on him, you couldn’t tell if he was real or—as cliche as it sounded—an Angel from above.

Oh, have mercy on my soul, you thought. You hesitantly reached out to accept his outstretched hand— and, wow, how was it that his hands were just as beautiful as his face?

As he gently lifted you from the floor—no, really, he had basically pulled you up with his strength alone—you felt your cheeks heat up, despite the cold of your surroundings.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone of voice nothing like what you’d heard from your gossiping classmates.

“Yeah, I’m okay!” you squeaked.

In your embarrassment, you quickly tried to pull your hand away from his. But just as you did, you faltered and almost planted on your butt… again. Out of reflex, you immediately reached out to the closest thing to you.

And of course, at that moment, the closest thing happened to be one Park Sunghoon.

You didn’t know what was more surprising: that he actually let you hold on to him, or the fact that he put an arm around your waist to stabilise you. Just like that, the two of you remained staring at each other. The world around you was full of movement and chaos, but in that moment everything came to a stand still.

You felt heat bloom in your cheeks.  

That’s it, you thought. I’m dead. He’s killed me.

Sunghoon’s ears started to redden at the tips as you continued to stare at each other. After a moment, he awkwardly removed his arm—though not too fast that you would topple down—and scratched the back of his neck.

“Ah…” Sunghoon chuckled shyly. “Sorry about that.”

He offered you a smile.

His resting face was a sight in itself. But the sight of his smile, the small dimple that it revealed, and small fangs that peeled out from his mouth, had your heart spiralling out of control. If your classmates saw him now, there was no way they could call him cold. (And no way they would be able to resist him.)

“I should be the one apologising…” you giggled. “Or rather, I should be thanking you, I guess— you saved me from potentially embarrassing myself more than I already have. I guess skating isn’t really my thing.”

Before Sunghoon could say anything you smiled at him. “But you’re really good. I’ve seen you quite a few times.”

It was about a month ago: your younger sibling decided that they wanted to take up ice hockey, and joined the local club. Since your parents were busy during some of their practices, you ended up chaperoning them. Simple enough, but boring.

Until you witnessed something magical.

You happened to look over to the side, just in time to catch a skater launch into the air. You watched in awe as the skater spun mid-air, before landing elegantly in the ice below— leg extended backwards, gliding like a swan across a lake.

You were definitely oversharing at this point, but you had already shared an awkward moment together. What was another on top of it?

You were half expecting Sunghoon to seem weirded out by your confession. But in fact, he didn’t seem surprised at all.

“I know,” he replied. 

You blinked at him. “Sorry?”

As it turned out, you weren’t as slick as you thought.

Apparently, Sunghoon had known for a while no that you were an avid fan of his, and knew who you were as a result. But you couldn’t really find it in you to complain, seeing as it brought you closer to the boy. Who would have known that you would end up drinking hot chocolate with the Ice Prince Park Sunghoon as if you were best buddies.

“You know, it’s kind of funny how this is our first time talking despite knowing each other for so long.”

You had been attending the same school together for a year, and had quite a few classes together. But you’d never even uttered a hello to each other before. Now, here you were.

Sunghoon chuckled shyly. You decided right then and there that you would never grow tired of seeing his smile—the dimples, fangs, and all.

“I’m not a very social person,” he admitted, looking down at his lap. His ears were flushed red, his fingers tapping against the styrofoam cup that held his hot chocolate. “I’ve never been good at making friends… especially with girls.”

To say you were surprised at the confession was an understatement. There was no way you’d imagine that Park Sunghoon of all people—who people would say was as cold as the ice he skated on—was just… well, shy!

“Wow, really? That’s a surprise…” you took a sip from your hot chocolate.

Sunghoon hummed. “It probably would be to someone like you… You’re so social and you get along with everyone. You have so many friends…”

You raised your eyebrows. Were you dreaming or did Sunghoon say that with a twinge of envy? Him? Envy you? That was a completely foreign thought. (There was also the fact that he somehow observed you enough to know you were a social butterfly who got along with everyone— but that didn’t bother dwelling on that fact for too long.)

“Well, you’re not bad at making friends either,” you assured the boy, patting his shoulder. “I mean you managed to talk to me, right?”

Sunghoon blinked. “I guess you’re right...” He turned to you with a shy smile. “But you’re pretty easy to talk to, so that’s probably why.”

“So, you’re saying I don’t count, huh?” You asked teasingly.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No! That’s not what I meant…”

You laughed. “Don’t worry, I know what you mean.” You took another sip of your hot chocolate before looking at him. “In that case, why don’t we just make it official?”

Sunghoon cocked his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You smiled.

“Let’s be friends.”

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ two. 𝙞 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

ONE DAY, IN A STRETCH OF BOREDOM, YOU QUICKLY PULL OUT YOUR PHONE TO SEARCH FOR SUNGHOON’S CONTACT.

Perhaps you were coming off a little strong, considering you two have only been friends with each other a week by now. But you really couldn’t help yourself. Something about him was so endearing to you. Especially when he made that confession the

You flopped onto your bed and opened up your messages.

You: hey!!! how are you going?? hope you’re doing okay! You: but anyway! just wanted to see if you wanted to meet up before school tomorrow? 👀

You tilted your head. Does this seem too clingy?

You quickly added another text to the first one.

You: i thought it would be nice since we have class together

You bit your lip as you watched the screen, waiting for the typing bubbles to appear. When the ‘read’ notification popped up, you felt your heart quicken. But seconds turned into minutes and he still hadn’t said anything back.

You pouted. Did I use too many exclamation marks?

Dropped your phone, you turned to lie on your side. You just hoped you hadn’t come off as too familiar— after all, the last thing you wanted to do was hold the poor guy victim. You wondered if he thought you were strange…

But just as you were debating whether to send another text (‘Or not! It’s cool if you don’t want to!’), your phone pinged. You instantly sat up.

Ice Prince: no problem Ice Prince: sounds good

You stared. You blinked. Then you burst out laughing. 

He’s a bit of a dry texter, isn’t he? You thought. Now that, I saw coming.

If he were one of your long-time friends, you would have spammed him with random questions. (As the extrovert of your group, you usually found yourself carrying the conversations.) But, seeing as you’ve only really known him for a few days, you decided to have mercy on him.

Until you would eventually fill his world with chaos.

You: yay!! see you then!! ☺️ You: oh and goodnight by the way!

You smiled when you saw his reply.

Ice Prince: See you Ice Prince: Goodnight

You giggled to yourself as you closed your messages with Sunghoon and began to text your other friends. At that moment, you had another goal to add on to your list of things to do.

Mark my words, Park Sunghoon! you thought to yourself resolutely. One day, I will get you to use an emoji!

You greeted the next morning like a new friend.

You had nothing but good dreams the night before. And now, you were properly rested for a day of school—and, of course, hanging out with your new friend Sunghoon! If your parents noticed anything about your chipper mood, they didn’t say anything. But regardless of their odd looks, you didn’t care.

Nothing was going to bring you down from cloud nine.

You hummed as you grabbed your phone off the bench, bidding your family goodbye as you rushed out the door. Just then, you got a notification.

Ice Prince: I’ll be at the benches behind X block

You smiled as you flicked back a text.

You: okey!! I’m on my way to school now! so see you soon! ☺️

With that you skipped away. You couldn’t think of any other day where you had been so excited to go to school—if there ever was one, to begin with. You found yourself enjoying every little thing around, not taking it for granted: the buzz of the morning rush, the feeling of sunlight on your skin, the sight of freshly fallen flowers lining your path.

Today was such a good day. And it only got better when you caught a glimpse of a certain someone from a far.

How does he look so good just sitting there? you wondered.

You observed the way the sunlight managed to reflect off of him at just the right angles to illuminate his features and the wind gently brushed through his locks in a way you suddenly wanted to try for yourself. It seemed some people were just born to be loved by nature. And Park Sunghoon was one of them.

When you finally managed to shake yourself from your reverie, you bounced up to the boy, who didn’t seem to feel your eyes on him. (You supposed he was used to the sensation.)

Feeling mischievous you decided to approach him from behind. Taking quiet steps, you felt yourself smile as you got closer. Then, before he had the chance to realise your presence, you put your hands on his shoulders.

“Boo!”

Sunghoon jolted in his seat. He whipped around to face you, confusion over his features. Then—at the expense of your heart—his lips slowly curled into a smile.

“You’re here?” he said. “You could have just yelled out to me, you know?”

You giggled. “That’s not as fun!” Without waiting for an invitation, you plopped yourself down next to him. “So! What are we doing?” You tilted your head up to the sky to mimic the position he was sitting in before you disturbed him. “Are we cloud-gazing?”

“Huh?” Sunghoon blinked. He shook his head. “No. I was just thinking.”

You blinked back at him. The two of you blinked at each other, before you found yourself bursting into laughter. “Pfft—”

“You were ‘just thinking’?” you repeated with a smile.

Sunghoon nodded, causing you to laugh even more. “Why?” he asked, confused as to what it was he said that you found so funny. “What is it?”

“I mean, it’s just… who does this—” (You posed melodramatically, like a character on a movie poster.)  “—when they’re just thinking?”

“Ishhhh…” Sunghoon scrunched his nose, before standing up. His hands were balled into cute fists as he looked down at you. “Yah! How can you tease me like this? Huh?”

But his little ‘reprimand’ did nothing but make you giggle even more. For someone who was known as an ‘Ice Prince’, he had a lot of adorable habits.

“Okay, okay.” You patted him on the arm, trying your best to ignore how muscular they felt under your hand. “I know, so calm down now, yeah?”

Sunghoon sat down beside you, and the two of you enjoyed a moment of silence.

“By the way…”

You turned to face Sunghoon. “Yeah?”

You noticed that Sunghoon hadn’t lifted his head to look at you, instead lowering his head to hide the blush forming across his face. At that moment, your heart melted, endeared by the sight of him.

“I was thinking… did you want to walk home with me after school?”

Your eyes widened. But seconds later, you smiled.

“Sounds good!”

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ three. 𝙞 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

TIME PASSED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. Days flew by, then weeks, and then a month. And during that time, you only grew closer to your friend Sunghoon. Sunghoon, who you could now barely remember what it was like before meeting him.

You never would have thought you’d be attached to the hip with the infamous ‘Ice Prince’, but here you were, walking among a crowd of eager-to-leave students, shoulders almost touching with how close you stood together.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little slip of joy when Sunghoon had been the one to ask you first. And now, you two had made it a tradition of sorts to walk home together every day.

You hadn’t ever needed someone to walk you home before. But you would be a fool to turn down an offer from Sunghoon.

As such, you were planning to make the most of it.

“You got along with the others okay, didn’t you?” you asked, referring to the group of friends you had introduced to him today.

Sunghoon nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I even got Beomgyu’s number.”

You smiled cheerfully. At least it wasn’t Ning’s or Yunjin’s, you thought. You couldn’t really explain why, but you felt a little twist in your stomach at the thought of either of them (the only females, coincidentally) in his messages. It was an unwarranted feeling—one that you didn’t have any right to—but you couldn’t help it. 

Whatever it was, you would ponder it later. For now, you simply wanted to enjoy the scenery. Flower petals falling from the trees, twirling in the air as they fell gently to the ground, lining your path with pink omens of romance and love.

Ha, you thought, I think I’m getting delusional.

“I’m glad you got along well with them,” you said. “Look at you go— you’ve already gotten new friends with little to no effort required. You’re a lot more sociable than you think.”

Sunghoon looked at you with an unreadable expression. “Really?”

You nodded eagerly. “Of course!”

Sunghoon smiled gently. “You know, when I first met you, I thought you were kind of strange.”

You burst out laughing at the sudden admission. “Oh, really? And what about now?”

“Now?” Sunghoon hummed as if he was in deep thought. When he turned to you, there was a glint of mischief. “Now I realise… you really are pretty weird.”

You faked a scandalised gasp. Slapping the boy hard on the shoulder, watching as he started to laugh at your reaction, you couldn’t help but giggle. If he was teasing you, that meant he considered you to be comfortable enough to joke around with. So, you couldn’t be too annoyed at him.

Especially when those dimples of his poked out. 

Gosh I really am weak, aren’t I? you thought.

“It takes one to know one, dummy,” you responded.

Sunghoon chuckled. “Then I guess we’ll be weird together.”

Your eyes softened. If, right then and there, someone were to say you had honey dripping from them, you would believe them. Otherwise, there was no explanation for how bright and golden the boy in front of you appeared at that moment.

“Sure,” you said. “Together.”

Yes two of you walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments after. But you had decided at that moment that you wanted to delay your parting— even if just by a little bit.

“You mentioned that you don’t have training tonight, right?” you asked Sunghoon. The male nodded in response. “Well, there’s an arcade nearby that just opened recently. Wanna check it out?”

Sunghoon smiled, his fangs peeking out as he did. “Sure.”

“Cool.” You then surprised Sunghoon by bolting off. “Race you there!”

“Aish—!”

You giggled as you heard the boy curse before taking off after you. You didn’t care how many looks you got on the way. The sound of your laughter mixing together as you raced down the pavement was music to your ears.

Your new favourite song by far.

That afternoon, you had spent all of your time laughing in the arcade, spending hours like they were nothing but minutes, living solely in that moment. After several games against each other, you two found yourself before the claw machine, counting the last few of your tokens.

“Ahhhh!” You groaned in frustration when you missed the cat plushie you had your eyes set on for the last five minutes. “I just needed to get a little bit to the right!”

Sunghoon chuckled from beside you, watching as you almost tore your hair out. You had only meant to spend one or two tokens on the plush, but after gradually getting closer with each try, you insisted that you “might as well go all the way”… only for you to get nowhere at all.

Now you were tokenless and left feeling like you wanted to smash open the machine.

You sighed as you turned to Sunghoon. “Looks like I’m done for today,” you said with a laugh. “What do you want to do? You still have a few tokens left.”

Sunghoon smiled. “Move.”

You blinked as he gently nudged you aside so that he could get to the claw machine controls, wordlessly slipping a token into the coin slot.

“Ayeeee,” you drawled out, crossing your arms over your chest. “Didn’t you see me before? It’s obviously rigged. You shouldn’t waste your tokens on this.”

But it was too late. Sunghoon was already starting to operate the machine, a smile on his face as he nudged the claw so that it hovered over a penguin plush. You immediately perked up.

You wanted the penguin plush at first, but after seeing how difficult it would be to retrieve it from the corner that was stuck in, you chose to play your cards smart and opt for the cat plush. But while the car plush was much easier to get based on its position, you still failed. So the fact that Sunghoon boldly went after your first option piqued your interest — if not a little ire.

You meant down to his eye level, your heads bumping together slightly as you watched the claw make countless turns to get an optimal angle.

“Someone’s confident.” 

Just as you said that, Sunghoon hit the button. You watched as the claw descended, taking the penguin plushie up in a pinch, before slowly making its way over to the dropping bay. 

Imagine your surprise when the penguin made it all the way.

You gaped as Sunghoon retrieved his newly retrieved plush from the tray, before fluffing it right in front of your face.

“Wha— but how?” You stuttered out. “No way…”

Sunghoon simply laughed, his dimples poking out from the force of his smile.

“Confidence,” he replied.

You remained frozen in place, still unable to process what had just happened. But what shocked you most was what happened next. Before you could say anything, Sunghoon held out the plush, offering it to you with a tint of red blooming across his cheeks.

“Here,” he said. “You can have it.”

You blinked in surprise, an eruption of butterflies setting off inside your chest. Slowly, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his as you took the penguin plush from his hands.

“Thanks, Hoon,” you said, using the nickname special only to the two of you.

“Like it?” he asked, watching as you softly squished the plush, your eyes filled with wonder.

You held the plush to your chest. You smiled at him and nodded.

“I like it.”

I like you.

𖤐 𓈒࣪ ᭡ ˖ four. 𝙞 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 . . . 𖦹︎ ִֶָ ࣪ ៹

PEOPLE OFTEN CALLED SPRING THE SEASON OF ROMANCE. Of pink flower petals, pink as the cheeks of lovesick youths; of blossoming love, nurtured by the warm encounters shared between two people hopelessly lost in each other’s orbit.

But not everyone was meant to experience that feeling for themselves. And you were one of them, it seemed.

“I like you.”

The words fell from your lips as easily as the petals of the cherry blossoms from the tree above you. His eyes widened at your sudden confessions, his head turning to face you, no longer occupied with watching the shifting clouds hanging over your heads.

Your voice is soft. Full of hesitance, yet honest all the same. But he doesn’t make a move to reciprocate. He could only stand there, frozen as the ice he held dear to himself.

Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe you should have gone on pretending that you didn’t feel anything for him. Pretend as if Park Sunghoon — one of your closest friends — didn’t make your heart burst like the kaleidoscope of colours at the storefront of a flower shop.

But there was no denying it. You couldn’t lie to yourself… and not to him, either.

“What?” he asked, his voice weak with shock.

You swallowed heavily, the weight of your words squeezing down on your chest.

“I like you,” you repeated. “I have for a long time now.”

You stood there for what seemed to be an eternity of silence. Sunghoon looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown, his shoulders tense. And at that moment, you probably already knew what was coming.

“I… I’m sorry.” Sunghoon lowered his head, unable to look at you. If you listened closely, you could hear the sound of shattered glass — the remnants of your heart breaking at his words.

You forced a smile, despite how much it pained you to do so. “It’s okay,” you said. “It happens… I just wanted to let you know.”

Sunghoon but his lip. “We can still be friends, though… right?”

You nodded. “Of course.”

That’s what you told him. But truth be told, you didn’t know how you could go on, acting like nothing had happened. Acting like you didn’t wish to be something more. And so, that afternoon, when you walked home alone — needing time to yourself to wipe the tears that fell down your cheeks as you mindlessly dragged yourself to your bed — you could only think of one thing.

That from this moment forth, you would do what needed to be done to save your own heart. Even if it meant breaking it at the same time. So when Sunghoon texted you later that night, budding you sweet dreams, you didn’t reply.

Unaware that his own heart was breaking just as much as your own.

Sunghoon stared at his message, waiting for the text bubbles to appear on your end, which would signal that you were about to respond. But as minutes passed — and soon, an hour — and there was no sign of reciprocation on your end, he finally turned off his phone and dropped it on his pillow.

He sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair.

Your confession had completely caught him off guard. He hadn’t expected that you felt anything more for him than friendly affection, considering how easily you endeared yourself to others. How easily you smiled, how easily you made others laugh, how easily you broke down any walls around their hearts….

Himself included.

But he didn’t know what it was that he felt for you. For a long time, he barely had any friends to call his own — acquaintances maybe, but never friends. And then you came out of nowhere, literally crashing into his life, with the bold proclamation of being his friend within hours of knowing him.

He didn’t know how you did it. How you made him so curious about you that he woke up every morning waiting for your texts, or anticipating the sight of your smile.

He didn’t know what you were doing to him. But he didn’t want it to change. He wanted you to always be there with him, to share all his moments with him, small or big, good or bad. But now…

One last time, Sunghoon checked his phone.

No answer.

He closed his eyes. He hoped with all his heart that this was temporary. That tomorrow morning, when he woke up, he would see your name as a notification, bidding him good morning with that smiley emoji you seemed to favour so much.

He hoped — more desperately than words could say — that he didn’t just lose you forever.

But he started to see the signs.

The next morning, he didn’t hear a word from you. When he got to school to your usual meet up spot, you were nowhere to be seen. And when he got to class, taking his seat next to your empty desk, imagine his surprise when he found out you weren’t coming to school.

“She said she was feeling sick,” Yunjin told him, surprised. “She didn’t tell you?”

No. You didn’t. And Sunghoon didn’t know what was worse — that he was the only one who didn’t know, or that he was the only who knew the real reason why you weren’t there.

You were avoiding him. And it only became obvious when things continued the next, and the next day after…

Slowly, but surely, you were slipping from his grasp.

Slowly but surely, he was losing you.

One day, he realised, you would stop being there altogether. One day, you would go on and find new people to surround yourself with. New people to tease, new people to spam with cute texts, new people to go to the arcades with…

And a new person to like. Perhaps, more than him.

Sunghoon felt sick at the thought of you with someone else. The thought of you confessing to them the way you did to him. And he was starting to realise why.

“Hey, Yunjin.”

Sunghoon stopped by the girl’s desk as soon as the bell rang.

“Hey, what’s up?” she asked curiously. 

Sunghoon pointed at the notes she was currently on the middle of putting away in her bag. The notes she was asked to copy down and give to you so you could catch up from home.

“Those are for her, right?”

At your house, buried under your covers, you had no idea of what was happening. Completely oblivious to the desperate boy on his way to your house, running as if his life depended on it, you curled into a ball, your limbs feeling too weak to leave the cocoon you made for yourself on your bed. 

A knock on your bedroom door causing you to lift your head.

“What?” you asked in irritation.

“Don’t you know how to check your phone?” Your older brother, Heeseung asked. “One of your friends from school is here saying that they were meant to give you your catch up notes. But you weren’t answering.”

You sat up in your bed. Checking your phone, you saw several missed calls from Yunjin. You groaned. You quickly texted an apology before kicking your sheets off your figure and rushing to the bathroom to fix your appearance.

Despite having taken a shower not too long ago, you still looked utterly miserable, and the wetness of your hair only added to the drowned rat look you were sporting, with your oversized white tee shirt and old gym shorts.

You sighed as you quickly fixed your hair as best you could. Hopefully, Yunjin wouldn’t care too much.

You trudged to your door, slamming it open to see Heeseung standing there with raised eyebrows.

“Are you sure you wanna go down looking like that?” he asked.

You rolled your eyes. “Who cares? It’s just Yunjin.”

Heeseung’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “When did I say—?”

But before Heeseung could finish, you were already pushing past him. You really didn’t have time for his nagging, especially when he had already been doing it for the last few days, urging you to get out of your room and even trying to drag you out by force. He might have thrown you into the back of the car to drive you away from home — where you had been locked up for days now — to go anywhere with fresh air if it weren’t for your mother scolding him.

With a tired sigh, you made your way downstairs. Since both your parents weren’t home, it was completely quiet, and you could hear your footsteps echo as they padded across the tiled floors of the kitchen to your front door.

You cleared your throat as you opened the door.

“Hey, Yun—“ your eyes widened when you saw who was at the door. “Sunghoon?”

Sunghoon smiled tiredly, panting, his shoulders rising and falling as if he had just ran a mile.

“Hey.”

You gaped.

“I— what— why—?” You couldn’t even make out words in your shock. At that moment, you remembered what Heeseung said about your appearance and gasped. “Wait, I’m not dressed—“

You almost closed the door in Sunghoon’s face. But before you could even move, he had already reached out to grab your arm pulling you to his chest. Your eyes widened at the feeling of his arms enveloping you, covering you in warmth.

“Hoon…?” you asked, your voice shaky.

Sunghoon took a deep breath. And only then, you realised he was crying.

“Hoon? What’s wrong?” you asked. You tried to pull away and look at his face, only for him to tighten his grip on you.

“I like you.”

You froze in place.

“What did you just say?”

Sunghoon took another shaky breath, his forms hovering as he held onto you as if you might disappear at any moment.

“I didn’t realise it until now… and I’m so sorry it took so long,” he whispered, his voice shaky and hoarse. “But I like you. I like you a lot. And when you were gone I missed you like crazy.”

He pulled away, looking you in the eyes.

Your heart hammered away in your chest. We’re you dreaming? Or did Sunghoon really just say he liked you — you, of all people. The whole time you spent lying in bed mourning your broken heart, he had been feeling the same way for you that you did for him?

“I…” your voice shook as you pulled away from the hug. You looked into his eyes, wet from tears. Those tears were from you, you realised. You did this to him. You made him cry. “I’m so sorry…”

Sunghoon sniffled, shaking his head. “It’s okay.” His hands, still shaking from his raging emotions, slowly made their way up your arms, before cupping your face. “Just tell me… please tell me you haven’t moved on.”

You shook your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Never.”

“Then be mine,” Sunghoon whispered, almost as if he was praying.

You didn’t say anything in return. Instead, you pulled his tie down, so that his lips crashed against yours, fitting like two pieces on a jigsaw puzzle. You let your lips move against his own without any thought but the feel of his mouth on yours. Of the feeling of him holding you to him, like you belonged there on the first place.

And you did.

You were a fool to think otherwise.

A few minutes later — after Heeseung had chased Sunghoon away, claiming “kids should be in bed by now” — you lay on your bed to find a new message from Sunghoon.

Hoon: can’t wait to see you again

You giggled.

You: you only just left 😆

Hoon: i know just can’t help it

As you read his next message, a warm feeling wrapped around your heart.

Hoon: i miss you 🤍

#i know its good angst when i feel the literal ACHE IN MY HEART #AND HIM USING THE EMOJI AT THE END?? #wow depicted so well #because sunghoon never experienced having #frienfs #so he didnt know what anything felt like #and how to differentiate frienfs and more than friends #so it was so #ONDGSINSISKSK #recs ⁝ park sunghoon #park sunghoon ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

HIDDEN LOVE ⋆𐙚 lhs

꒰ SUMMARY ! ꒱ to others, he was lee heeseung: musical prodigy, star of the basketball team, and golden boy of his college. to you, he was hee: your brother’s best friend, your safe place, and your first and final love.

pairing brother’s bsf!heeseung x fem!reader (ft. brother!jay) warning mention of violence, assault, profanity, blood and injury, not proofread word count 9.2k notes happy bday @bluriki! love u rora bb & hope you like my gift! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

THE FIRST TIME YOU MET LEE HEESEUNG, he was nineteen and you were seventeen.

School bag in hand and sweat on your forehead, you sighed in content as the coolness of the air conditioned home kissed your flushed skin. The summer heat was unforgiving, so no one could blame you when you rushed towards the freezer, throwing the door open in search of the precious stash of mango popsicles you saved for yourself as treats for enduring another tedious day at school. The last thing you expected was to find that there was none left.

In disbelief, you rummaged through the drawers, wondering if you misplaced them. But it soon came clear to you that this wasn’t an error on your part. There was no one else in this household who had the same appetite for ice cream as you did — and this time, you just knew he was to blame.

You slammed the door of the freezer shut, your mind made up as you stomped over to your brother’s room. Since he came home from college for summer break, he had been invading every bit of territory that you claimed as your own upon his departure from home. You didn’t even need to question when he had the opportunity to steal your precious ice cream. The evidence was all against him. So you didn’t hesitate to enact justice when you saw him.

“Hey!” you yelled at the top of your lungs. You twisted open his bedroom door, throwing it open with all the annoyance you could summon. “Park Jeongseong, you—!”

You froze mid sentence, eyes comically wide as they stared at the sight before you — one that wasn’t your brother. A person who could only be a character of a manhwa who had come to life. Had you been idealised without even realising? Because the stranger in front of you was far too pretty to be real.

Sitting in the halo of the sunlight that filtered through your brother’s window, the person before you cradled a guitar over his lap, slender fingers pausing in the middle of a gentle strum. Doe-like eyes met yours, giving him the appearance of a deer caught in the headlights. Still, with the framing of his soft hair against his forehead and the soft angles around his face, he didn’t look any less handsome in his surprised state. With his casual baggy t-shirt and jeans, he looked like the typical flower male leads of high school romance dramas.

“…Bastard…”

You swallowed thickly, eyes blinking rapidly at the unwilling words which left your mouth. The handsome stranger raised a perfect brow at the sudden name-call, and you felt your face flush. Somehow, even such a simple action seemed attractive when he did it.

“Sorry, not you!” you amended immediately. “I was just—!” You were about to explain yourself like a burglar who was caught in the middle of a heist, only to realise that wasn’t right at all: pretty or not, the person in front of you was a total stranger inside your home, in your brother’s room. You crossed your arms over your chest, standing your ground against the curious gaze of the intruder. “Wait a second— who are you? And why are you in my house?”

The intruder looked at you. You looked back. Then after a few seconds, he laughed. In your confusion, you failed to notice your older brother creep up behind you with an unimpressed look. “What are you doing in my room? I told you not to go in without knocking.”

You turned around to meet your older brother’s questioning gaze. By now, you had completely forgotten about the ice cream, instead focusing on the new mystery in front of you. “But!” You pointed to the stranger on your brother’s bed like a child pointing out a stray puppy to their mother. “There’s a random guy in your room!”

Jeongseong — or rather, “Jay,” as he liked to be called — followed the direction of your pointed finger, his gaze landed on the boy on his bed. Your brother let out a sigh. Like an adult dealing with a troublesome child, he looked down at you with a flat look. “That ‘random guy’,” Jay said, “is my best friend from college.”

Your eyes widened comically, a small ‘o’ forming on your lips. “You have friends?”

There was silence. Then, the emptiness was filled with the sound of rich laughter, and you felt your cheeks heat up at the warmth of the sound, your head turning to look at the source. Your brother’s so-called ‘best friend’ was smiling at you, his eyes dancing with mirth. Your brother rolled his eyes from behind you, unaware of the infatuated look in your eyes as you took in the sight before you.

“Heeseung, meet my little sister, [_____].” Jeongseong’s rough palm landed on the top of your head, forcing it down into a polite nod, and breaking your trance with the older male in front of you. You furrowed your brows and shook off the weight of his heavy hand, lifting your head to meet the eyes of this ‘Heeseung.’ “[_____], say hi.”

You timidly bowed your head, fidgeting slight under the amused gaze of the handsome boy in front of you.

He nodded at you, a soft smile on his face. “Nice to meet you, Little Park,” he said, his voice full of the gentleness one might have when speaking to a baby kitten. You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat. “I hope you don’t mind me hanging out in your home.”

You blinked, too startstruck to do anything else. And from that moment on, your world was never the same.

THE FIRST TIME YOU REALISED YOU MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE CRUSH ON LEE HEESEUNG, it was only a few days after meeting him.

Ever since you met Heeseung, he had been around the house more often, seeing as he had won over your parents as easily as he seemingly won over you — with his charms and smile, the couple instantly invited Heeseung to hang over at your home more often. And surprisingly enough, the boy instantly agreed.

You had always been shy around strangers. But at your age, within the walls of your school, someone as handsome as Lee Heeseung was rarer than a Shiny Pokémon. And while your own brother was considered good-looking by many people, including your friends, you had grown immune to his face from years of exposure to it and because of many embarrassing childhood memories of him attached to it. To you, Lee Heeseung was from a whole different world from your own. And that was why you couldn’t help but treat him differently than you did other boys you met.

You were skittish around him, avoiding him like a cat would water. You made sure you weren’t alone with him for too long out of fear that you might embarrass yourself with your awkwardness. On the other hand, he had always been the one to give you warm smiles out of kindness, greeting you whenever you somehow crossed paths. And you had to admit that it made you feel warm inside. But at the same time, having him around your house constantly was a little unnerving. Especially when he witnessed all the little moments that happened in your own home — even those you wished he wouldn’t have witnessed at all.

You had a test coming up for one of your classes which you had been struggling with, and in a last ditch effort to save your failing grade, you enlisted the help of your much more academically gifted older brother. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, your books and stationary scattered across the small coffee table, while your brother sat on the couch behind you, arms crossed over his chest and a ruler in his left hand, painting the image of an old-school teacher with Spartan teaching methods.

“Okay, so which formula do you use to solve this?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you stared at the paper in front of you, trying to mentally flip through all the pages of formulas you had tried to cram in your head under your brother’s expectant gaze. You frowned when you could only remember the first few parts, completely unable to decipher the rest from the random jumble of letters and numbers that your brain came up with to fill your gaps in knowledge.

“Ouch!” You yelped when you suddenly felt the familiar feeling of the end of Jeongseong’s ruler lightly knocking your skull. You raised your hands defensively to plant on top of your head. Pouting, you turned around to glare at your brother. “What was that for?”

“I was giving your braincells a manual reboot,” he said plainly. “How hard is this? I already told you so many times how to do it.”

You huffed, your pride wounded as Jeongseong chided you. It would be fine if it was only you and your parents in the home to witness your lack of mental capacity for math. But as it happened, your brother’s best friend was pouring himself a drink in the kitchen, and happened to witness everything with front row seats.

“Seriously, how are you this dumb?” Jeongseong asked.

You drowned in embarrassment as you felt Heeseung’s eyes on the two of you. Even if he was your brother’s best friend, he was still essentially a stranger to you, and it was always more humiliating to be humbled in front of people you didn’t know. So for your brother to call you ‘dumb’ in front of him, you couldn’t help but feel wronged.

You glared at your bother. “You don’t have to be such a jerk about it,” you hissed under your breath, your hands balling into fists at your side. “I’m trying my best.”

Before Jay could ask what was wrong with you, you quickly stood from your seat, your hair falling over your eyes as they remained glued to the floor. And without another word, you stormed to your room. You slammed the door shut, ignoring the protests from your older brother. Flopping onto your bed, you buried your face into one of the plushies, your limbs laying limp by your side.

You thought about the way you left the scene and groaned. Now you probably looked weird and stupid at the same time. You reached over to your bedside subconsciously, and groaned again when you realised you hadn’t even brought your phone with you. Your laptop was still in the living room, as well, so you couldn’t carry out your plans to waste the day away in your room like you had planned.

Great. Just great.

Seems like you would just have to force yourself to take a nap instead. Closing your eyes, you willed yourself to fall asleep. But a knock at your door had them snapping open once more. Was it Jeongseong? What did he want right now?

Groaning, you dragged yourself off the bed. At the door, you readied yourself to give the meanest glare that you could possibly give, in case he tried to give you a hard time because of your attitude. But when you opened the door, you were surprised to find someone who wasn’t your brother.

“Hey, Little Park,” Heeseung greeted. Your eyes widened, and you felt your breath be caught inside your chest. Because why was Lee Heeseung currently in front of your room? “Sorry to bother you, I just came to bring these for you.”

Your eyes flitted down to the tray inside Heeseung’s hands that you didn’t notice upon seeing his face. It had a glass of juice on it, as well as a plate of fruit that he had cut. “This is for me?” you asked in surprise. “What’s it for?”

Heeseung chuckled warmly at your reaction. “Your brother asked me to bring it for you, since he knew you probably didn’t want to come out into the kitchen after…”

You lowered your head in shame at the reminder of how you suddenly stormed out the living room. “Please forget that happened… It’s embarassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Heeseung said gently. “Your brother did a lot more embarassing things in front of me. His mood swings were the worst during puberty.”

You laughed as you recalled memories of your older brother when he was fourteen. He had a bit of a temper, and got angered at the slightest inconveniences. One of his infamous grievances — or so you heard from your parents, when they came back from a parent-teacher interview for your brother — was when he gathered all the members of his football team in the locker rooms and gave them all a dressing-down for leaving their dirty towels scattered across the changing rooms.

Seeing your smile, Heeseung returned it with one of his own. He held out the tray in his hands, and you took it gratefully into your smaller ones, your fingers brushing slightly from the contact. You expected him to let go straight away, but to your surprise, he kept his hands there. You looked up at him questioningly.

“I know you probably wouldn’t want to hear this right now,” he said, “but your brother really cares for you.” He gestured to the fruit on the plate. “I know for a fact that whenever me and my older brother argued, he would never think to feed me afterwards.”

You lowered your head at Heeseung’s words. You knew this very well, in fact. Your brother was the person who cared about your most on this world, aside from your parents. Your mother often told the tales of how your brother had refused to leave your side when you were younger, insisting on sleeping in your room with you in case you got lonely. And then when your parents woke up to check on you when you started crying in the middle of the night, by the time they made it to the room, your brother was already by your side, gently patting you back to sleep.

Even when the two of you bickered, you knew you were fortunate to have a brother like Jeongseong.

“I know,” you told Heeseung, your head lowered.

Heeseung chuckled. And a second later, you found yourself freezing when you felt his palm on the top of your head. “Hey,” he said, meeting your surprised gaze with a smile. “Don’t feel bad.” He gave your head a gentle pat, chuckling awkwardly when you seemed even more confused. “Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

The two of you laughed together, and the earlier gloom above your head was chased away by the brightness of his smile.

“I should probably go back to study,” you said, suddenly feeling invigorated.

Heeseung hummed. “How about I help you?” Upon seeing your surprised expression, he smiled warmly. “I have the free time, and your brother is still moping in his room. So we can go over some of the things you’re struggling with.”

You eagerly accepted the older boy’s offer, and the two of you sat down at the coffee table, knees brushing against each other, and your heads bumping slightly as you hunched over your school work.

You looked up at one point, after a particularly problematic equation, discretely watching Heeseung as he scanned your working. At this angle, you could admire the length of his eyelashes and the perfect outline of his side profile, and the way his chocolate brown irises appeared like caramel in the lighting. You almost flinched when those eyes of his met yours. And then he smiled at you, his hand reaching up to the top of your head once more.

“Good job, Little Park,” he said warmly. And you couldn’t help but beam under his praise. “You should take a break, though. It’s been a while.”

You didn’t refuse. After all, you would much rather not do any more equations. You worried it may be awkward between you and Heeseung, though, seeing as you’ve never had a proper conversation before today. But soon, the living room was filled with your voices as you discussed topic after topic.

“So you have an older brother, right?” you asked, remembering how he mentioned it earlier. “Do you get along?”

Heeseung hummed, and you couldn’t help but note the smooth but low register of his voice when he was relaxed. “We get along like all brothers do — but I’d say you and Jay seem to be closer than we are.” Heeseung smiled as he observed your facial features. “You’re really similar, too. Me and my brother never had a lot of shared interests.”

You tilted your head curiously. “How so?”

Heeseung leaned back onto the sofa behind the two of you, looking up at the ceiling, and giving you a nice view of his Adam’s Apple. “He was always more studious. Top student and everything. I liked music and basketball better — and apparently I’m pretty good at it.”

“Really? That’s cool!” Music and basketball was an interesting combination. But It made sense, too, considering Heeseung’s physique: Heeseung was much taller than average, and even your brother was quite a bit shorter than him; his fingers were long and slender as well, and probably skilful with the piano — though you, of course, wouldn’t say that out loud. “So you’re good at basketball? I can see it,” you said, nodding sagely. “You have the height for it.”

Heeseung chuckled. “I think I’ve heard that one before.”

The more you spoke to Heeseung, the easier for you to let down your guard. While your first impression was someone out of reach, you realised he was actually very comfortable to be around. “By the way,” you said, looking up at Heeseung, “do you have a girlfriend?”

Heeseung blinked, obviously surprised. “Why do you ask?”

“I mean…” You shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. You couldn’t let him know you wanted to see if he was available — especially since you only just met. “Most guys your age have girlfriends, right?”

“Your brother doesn’t, though,” Heeseung pointed out.

You nodded. “Well, that’s because my brother is terrible at flirting with girls. So it makes sense.”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow, amusement dancing in his eyes. “So what about me, then?” The corner of his lips tugged into a smirk. “If you think I have a girlfriend, are you saying I’m good at flirting?”

You blinked, not expecting that sort of question to come from him. You awkwardly avoided his eyes, humming uncertainty. “Well… I mean— you probably wouldn’t be bad at it… Right?”

Heeseung paused. Then, he laughed, the sound so full and resonant it caused your heart to beat wildly in return. “Well, I’m flattered,” he said while looking at you with amusement. He leaned towards you, his voice and smirk holding a teasing lilt. “But just so you know — I’m single.”

You didn’t realise it then, but that fluttering feeling inside your chest when you made eye contact was the beginning of your first and only love.

THE FIRST TIME YOU REALISED THAT LEE HEESEUNG REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU, he was twenty and you were eighteen.

A year had passed since you met Lee Heeseung in your brother’s room, and since then, you could say that — whenever he was on break from college — the older boy had become something of a constant in your life from there on. Every day, when you came home from school, he would be there with a cup of juice for you to fend off the heat. And when winter came, the juice would be replaced with hot chocolate. And one the first day you saw each other during his seasonal breaks, he would have a gift for you.

The first time it happened, you hadn’t been suspecting it. But as soon as Heeseung laid eyes on you when he walked through the front door of your house, he had immediately gestured you over to him. You, being the lovesick puppy you were, immediately bounded up to him. And your eyes lit up when he held out his hand with a keychain of your favourite Sanrio character.

“Here,” he said to you, in that same gentle tone he always did. “I got this for you. I saw it at a gift store and thought you would like it.”

Jeongseong gave him an ugly look. “Where’s my present?”

Heeseung walked past him. “It’s me.”

Your brother, having his delicate feelings offended, immediately pounced on his friend in retaliation. Their laughter bounced off the walls of your home. And as the two tall males brawled playfully in front of the entrance to your home, you simply stared at the keychain in your hand with a smile, before clutching it close to your heart.

It had become routine, and it had gotten to the point where you had been used to his presence. So, whenever your brother was home, but you didn’t see Heeseung’s face, you pestered Jeongseong about it.

“Where’s Hee?” you asked one day, as you returned home from school, only to find the familiar head of ashy silver hair was no where to be seen.

Your brother gave you a narrow stare, and you briefly wondered if he had caught onto your little puppy crush on his best friend, and had consequently chased Heeseung out of his home in his typical overprotective fashion. But instead, he turned back to his show on the television, brushing your question off with a dismissive explanation.

“He’s busy,” Jeongseong said.

You frowned at the news.

“Did you ask about if he was coming to my graduation?” you asked your brother. It was your final year in high school, and in a week’s time, you would be graduating. Since Heeseung had grown close to your family, you thought that perhaps he might come. But your brother nipped that thought in the bud.

Jeongseong turned around and gave you a strange look. “Why would he?”

You paused. That was a good question: why would Lee Heeseung attend your graduation? Even if it was a milestone in your life, were the two of you really close enough that he needed to be there to share it?

“Ah,” you said, disappointed. “Never mind…”

You knew it was foolish of you to be upset about this. After all, he didn’t have an obligation to be there. The two of you wouldn’t even know each other if it weren’t for your older brother. It was childish of you to assume he would be there, as if you really meant anything to him — as if you weren’t just someone he treated well for the sake of being related to a good friend of his.

Besides, he was busy. What right did you have to demand his time?

You dragged your feet as you went towards you room, phantom puppy ears flattening against your head. As if sensing the sulking aura from you, Jeongseong let out a heavy sigh and said, “Bring your phone.”

Your head whipped towards your brother in shock. “What?”

“If you want to ask him to go to your graduation, then you ask him yourself.” Jeongseong looked at over form over the couch, holding his hand out to you. “I’ll give you his number.”

You rushed to hand your phone over to your brother like he had offered you a pot of gold. You weren’t sure why your brother was offering you his best friend’s number, but you didn’t question it. Heeseung was the only friend of his he ever allowed near his home — so it went to show that your brother didn’t mind if he was around you. You just had to make sure you weren’t obvious. So after Jeongseong had typed Heeseung’s number, you feigned calmness as you thanked him and went to your room.

But the second you closed the door behind you, you jumped onto your bed while kicking your feet giddily. After saving his contact under your nickname for me — accompanied by a hamster emoji — you quickly sent a text his way, letting him know that your brother gave him your number. It didn’t take long before you received a reply.

Hee 🐹: thanks for letting me know

Hee 🐹: i’ll save your number

You smiled as you sent another text.

You: sorry to bother you btw

You: i just wanted to ask if you were free next friday

Hee 🐹: next friday??

Hee 🐹: sorry little park but i’m busy on that day

Hee 🐹: why do you ask?

You frowned at the reply. Of course. Your brother had told you he was busy, so you shouldn’t have been disappointed. But a small part of you — the naive part — was hoping that, by some twist of fate, he would be free to celebrate what was a special day in your life. Biting your lip, you sent back a solemn reply.

You: no, it’s nothing

You: just asking

You quickly changed the topic, not wanting to alarm the boy. Knowing him, he would feel guilty if he knew he was missing out on your graduation: he was just kind like that. Always wanting to be there for everyone, always wanting to make everyone happy. You supposed it was selfish to want to keep him to yourself.

You: are you okay?

You genuinely didn’t want him to be overworking himself, so you had to make sure.

Hee 🐹: i’m fine don’t worry about me

Hee 🐹: i’ve been working at a music store lately to earn some money

You tilted your head. You knew Heeseung was talented when it came to music, but you didn’t know he worked at a music store. His parents were well off much like yours and Jeongseong’s, so he didn’t need to worry about funds — just like you and Jeongseong were told by your parents to simply focus on studying rather than getting jobs before you graduated. But it was admirable seeing Heeseung be independent, regardless.

Smiling, you sent back a text of your own.

You: oooh i didn’t know that you had a job!

You: congrats! 🥳

You: hope i’m not bothering you

Your heart skipped a beat at the next text.

Hee 🐹: you could never be a bother to me

You didn’t realise how much Heeseung meant that until a week later, after you had walked off the stage with your graduation certificate.

Your cheeks had hurt from smiling so much, your graduation certificate held carefully in your arms. Being able to celebrate it with your family and school friends you spent years with made the lack of Heeseung’s presence feel a little less empty. So you, were content with what you had, and didn’t dare ask for more.

After taking photos with your friends, you stuck by your family the entire time, until your brother had excused himself for a second to answer a call.

“Hey, are you here yet?” Jeongseong asked on the phone, making his way away from you and your parents. You didn’t pay attention to what he might be saying, too focused on posing for more pictures as a photographer your parents hired snapped away on their camera.

Time passed since your brother had left, and you didn’t know when he came back, but when he ran back towards you and your parents, he promptly apologised by saying, “I had to go pick something up.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Pick up what?”

A tap on your shoulder caught you off guard, and you whipped your head around to face the perpetrator. You hadn’t expected to come face to face with the person you had been missing tonight. You gasped and broke away from Heeseung in shock, a hand flying to your mouth. He simply chuckled at your expression, eyes crinkling and sparkling with mirth. “Happy graduation, Little Park.”

“Hee!” you exclaimed excitedly, and you jumped on him, almost tackling him to the ground. You giggled with glee as he returned your embrace, his arms wrapping around you gently, and a hand coming up to the back of your head, cradling it to his chest. Your parents chuckled on the background, and your brother sighed. You pulled back, eyes full of wonder as you looked up at your crush. “But didn’t you say you were busy? I mean, you had work, right?”

Heeseung smiled. “I couldn’t miss your graduation, could I?” He then pouted at you. “I’m a bit disappointed that you didn’t mention it, though.” You sheepishly lowered your head, and he chuckled before patting your head. “Don’t worry. That’s what your brother is for. If there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s telling people all about your business.”

“Hey!” Jeongseong protested at having been exposed for his habit of bringing you up any chance he got. You blinked in surprise, not expecting that side of him. But as if he didn’t like the way your attention drifted from him, Heeseung cleared his throat.

You immediately looked at him. And then, as if he didn’t surprise you enough already, he suddenly pulled a bouquet out from behind his back — one that had to be bigger than the size of your head, but which happened to have all your favourite flowers.

All of a sudden, you remembered a conversation the two of you had, a few days ago on the phone.

“Can you help me with something?” Heeseung asked on the phone. You, of course, eagerly agreed, and he explained his situation. “I want to buy my brother’s girlfriend some flowers to welcome her into the family, but I don’t know which ones a girl would like. Can you give me some ideas?”

You “ooh”ed in understanding, racking your brain for some common flowers. Secretly, your heart fluttered at the thought that — of all people, and of all the girls he most likely knew — you were the first person Heeseung came to for help. You definitely didn’t want to mess this up.

“It depends, though. Everyone is different,” you replied.

There was a slight pause on the other side of the line, and you were scared that you had disappointed Heeseung. But instead, he simply hummed, and made an ‘ah’ sound out of realisation. “Then why don’t you tell me what flowers you like?” he suggested. “If I got you a bouquet, what would you want in it?”

You scolded yourself for immediately picturing Heeseung in a suit, holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers as he gave you that same warm smile that he always did. Shaking your head, you immediately started to name the ones that you preferred.

You didn’t think the information you gave him would end up being used like this. With a wide grin, you accepted the flowers, your eyes sparkling like the night sky as you looked at the boy in front of you — not in a suit, like you had imagined, but handsome all the same. He always was, after all.

“Thank you, Hee,” you said, full of genuine gratitude.

He smiled at you. “Anything for you,” he said.

And now, you knew he meant it.

THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW LEE HEESEUNG ANGRY, you didn’t even know he was capable of it.

You had always been used to a warm Heeseung. The Heeseung who teased you with smirks, and simultaneously doted on you with kind smiles. But you didn’t realise that he had a side to him that was fierce, just as he was gentle. That even his blood was capable of boiling if someone pushed him far enough.

Having graduated from high school, and awaiting news from college applications, you spent your free time working part-time at a local convenience store, which happened to be fairly close to the music store Heeseung worked at. You worked day shifts, so you never worried for your safety. But one particular day, you got unlucky.

“How’s work going?” Heeseung had asked through your AirPods. He was on break, while you were simply waiting for customers to show up. At this time, you guys usually had phone calls to pass the time, and you would stack shelves with your earphones in, listening to Heeseung’s voice as he talked about his day and you told him about yours. It was one of the things you liked most about working at the convenience store — apart from the endless supply of nearly expired snacks you were allowed to eat for free.

“It’s going okay,” you replied. “Really empty, though.”

You weren’t surprised. Since it was winter, most people opted to stay inside to keep away from the cold. At most, you would have the nine-to-five workers who popped in from the office buildings across the convenience store during lunch hours. But it was already going on to four in the afternoon, so the buzz had already long died down by now.

At that moment, the door opened to signal the arrival of another customer. “Welcome,” you greeted politely, going over to the counter to get out of the way and wait for the customer to make a purchase. Heeseung didn’t say anything, allowing you to focus on your job. And it was then that you realised something was wrong.

The customer who had just walked in was stumbling over their own feet, an empty soju bottle in one hand, the other wiping his mouth after taking a swig. He was an average-looking man, middle-aged, with beady eyes and a strong stench of alcohol surrounding him. You subconsciously moved closer to the emergency button when he stumbled into one of the shelves, cursing loudly when a bunch of items fell to the floor with a clatter.

Heeseung, of course, had heard this, and instantly questioned you.

“Little Park,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically tense. “What was that?”

You blinked, watching as the customer aggressively ripped a few soju bottles from the fridge, causing others to fall on the floor. The sound of shattering glass immediately followed, and you flinched. “Sir,” you called out shakily, scared that you might set him off. “If you break items, you have to pay for it.”

“Fucking hell, just shut up already!” You flinched at the customer’s raised voice. You thought you were overreacting, so you didn’t alarm Heeseung when his voice once again rang in your ear.

“I’m being serious right now,” Heeseung said. “Are you okay?”No, went unsaid. But you didn’t need to say it, because there was already a loud shuffling on the other side of the line, followed by the sound of a door being swung open. Heeseung didn’t even let you protest as you heard the sound of him running down the concrete pathway. “I’m on my way, just stay on call.”

“Huh?” You glanced at the time on your watch. His break would finish in five minutes, he really didn’t have time to be running out on your account. “But your break—!”

“Hey.” You froze upon being addressed by the man, who had suddenly appeared in front of you. And even if there was a protective screen in front of you, you couldn’t help but feel threatening as he glared at you, aggressively placing his bottles on the counter. “Who are you talking to?”

You furrowed your brows. Why was it any of his business? “Are these all you’re buying?” You asked, ignoring his question and gesturing the the alcohol bottle. You then looked at the mess he made near the fridge. Since you weren’t going to risk stepping outside the booth, where he would be able to reach you, you did your best to assess the damage from where you stood. “I see three broken bottles, so that will be added to your total.”

You reached out cautiously to grab the bottles on the counter for scanning, wanting him out of the store as soon as possible. But just as you tried to grab them, you let out a scream when the man suddenly grabbed your arm, holding your wrist like a viper trying to cut off circulation.

“You little bitch!” he cursed. “You tried calling the police, didn’t you? Just like that woman!”

“Help!” You ignored the man’s rambling. But that seemed to only make things worse. He lunged at the screen between the two of you, nails reaching for your face. You let out another scream, your eyes stinging with tears as you tried in vain to free your hand. You somehow had the sense to press the merges services button under the counter, but who knew when they would get here. “Help! Is anyone there?!”

At that moment, as if the world had answered your prayers, the door to the convince store opened. And there stood Heeseung, chest heaving, his phone clutched in his hand. Upon seeing the sight in front of him, his eyes flashed with rage beyond words, his phone falling to the floor as he marched up to the man holding your wrist captive.

He grabbed the back of his collar before ripping his form away from the counter with strength you didn’t he possessed. You watched with wide eyes as Heeseung threw him to the ground, straddling him before throwing an unforgiving fist to the man’s face. The sound of flesh and cracking bones rang out as Heeseung levelled the man relentlessly in silent rampage, not once letting a single curse slip.

You watched as Heeseung’s knuckles became bloodied, busted and bruised. And seeing him like that, you finally snapped out of your frightened daze.

“Hee!” You yelled, scrambling from behind the counter. As if you placed a spell on him, Heeseung immediately stopped, his fist pausing mid-punch. You immediately wrapped your arms around his torso, tears flooding your vision as you squeezed him as tightly as you could. “Hee, stop!”

You didn’t care for the man who tried to attack you. But you could never forgive yourself if Heeseung got into trouble because of you.

“I’m okay,” you assured him. “I’m okay…”

Heeseung let his fist fall to his side, and he sighed as he looked at the unconscious man beneath him, whose face was beaten beyond recognition. By the time the police arrived at the scene, the only thing they found was the man on the floor of the convenience store, while you and Heeseung stood to the side, the latter hold you in his arms as he stroked your head and whispered gentle words into your ears.

“It’s okay,” he said, his lips against the shell of your ear as your body trembled from the shock of the events that just unfolded. He closed his eyes, burying his nose into your hair while you sobbed into his shoulder. “I won’t let anyone hurt you…”

That day, you realised just how unforgiving Heesung was. And yet, as he held you in his arms, you felt nothing but comfort. Even then — especially then — he was warm, gentle. He was safe.

“That bastard got lucky,” Jeongseong said as he picked you and Heeseung up front the police station, where you were required to give your own statements of what happened. Your older brother gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. As soon as he heard the news of what happened, he was ready to send the person responsible for the bruise on your wrist to an early grave. And if it weren’t for the police present, holding him back when he stormed into the station, you were sure he would have. “If Heeseung hadn’t gotten to him first… I would have seriously killed him.”

Heeseung reached over from the backseat to pat your head as you zoned out in the passenger seat. You rubbed your arms for warmth, and the scent of Heeseung’s hoodie on your figure caused you to drift off to sleep while your brother ranted his frustration in the driver’s seat beside you.

And you just prayed for anyone else who ever raised a hand against you in the future. Because you knew you weren’t leaving Heeseung’s side any time soon.

THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED LEE HEESEUNG, it was just a few months later.

It was your first day of college, and you had been nervous as you moved into your new accommodation on campus. Your parents were even more so, and you had a tearful goodbye. But as soon as they left, your brother and Heeseung — who coincidentally went to the same institution that you would now attend — stayed behind to help you move your furniture in.

“That’s all of it,” Heeseung said as he dusted off his hands. He smiled at you, before wiping sweat from his forehead. And you shamelessly watched the way his skin shone under the sunlight filtering through your window. “You’re good to go, Little Park.”

You smiled. Although he didn’t seem too different, you could tell you had somehow gotten closer to him after the convenience store incident. And ever since then, his presence had always been a source of security for you. You didn’t worry when he was around.

“Remember what I said, okay?” Jay asked. He was in typical overprotective brother mode as he lectured you on what you could or couldn’t do, and it gave you flashbacks to your first day of middle schools, where he had threatened off a little boy for gifting you a flower. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be getting into any fights this time around — but who knew? He had an unpredictable temper at times. “Be careful of boys!” Jeongseong warned passionately. “You can’t trust any of them, no matter how nice they look?”

You raised a brow. “But what about you and Hee?”

Jeongseong waved a dismissive hand. “Obviously, I’m your brother, so I don’t count. And Hee basically sees you as his little sister with how long he’s known you, so he doesn’t count, either.”

You froze. And all of a sudden, it was like a cloud of doom gathered over your head, threatening to drench you in your own self-pity. You would be lying if you said you didn’t have the fattest crush on him — and you had been trying to delude yourself into thinking he might feel the same one day.

But when Jeongseong raised a point, it was often a very good one. Heeseung had essentially spent two years in and out of your home, making it a second home of his own, and was as close as brothers with Jeongseong. He was a ‘safe’ man in Jeongseong’s eyes — because the way your brother saw it, there was no way Heeseung could hold any romantic feelings for you.

And you hated to admit that he might be right.

You glanced hesitantly over at Heeseung to find that he had a clenched jaw, his posture tense as he stared straight forward. You bit your lip, lowering your head. Now that you thought about it… Everything he did for you— was that just an act of brotherly affection? Did he really not see you as anything else?

“Anyway, we should head off,” Jeongseong said. “Have fun, and don’t forget to call if you need anything!”

With that, Jeongseong turned and opened your door, ready to leave. But at that moment, he noticed Heeseung was still standing where he was — unmoving. “Hey, man,” Jeongseong called out to him, “you okay there?”

You looked at him curiously, wondering the same thing. As if snapping out of a trance, Heeseung shook his head. “No. I’m fine. Let’s go.” He turned to follow Jeongseong out the door, but paused for a moment to look at you. You spared a small smile, hoping to give off some semblance of normalcy. But to your disappointment, he simply averted your gaze and turned away.

He left without looking back, leaving you wondering what you had done wrong.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You looked at your friend, who you had met on Orientation Day, and who you hit it off with immediately. Kim Sunoo was the same age as you and coincidentally from the same degree. So, the two of you quickly stuck together like glue. “You seemed out of it since we met up.”

You quickly shook your head, not wanting to bring down the mood. Even though Sunoo knew about your feelings for Heeseung (you couldn’t resist telling him, when he seemed invested in your story), you didn’t really want to think about his strange behaviour. This was a day out for the two of you to enjoy. Remembering this, you smiled. “It’s nothing!” you assured. “Just missing home.”

Sunoo, thankfully, bought the lie (mostly because it was actually true), nodding sympathetically. “I get it. I miss my family a lot, even if it’s only been a day.” After a moment, he then made a noise like he remembered something. “By the way— if you’re not too tired, there’s a party at the dorms tonight. Some seniors that I know are holding it for us first years. Wanna come?”

Your eyes widened. “Really?” You hadn’t been invited to parties much in high school, because everyone knew you were related to Park “Overprotective” Jeongseong. Besides, your parents would have never allowed it. But now, you were slowly realising how much freedom you had as an adult. Just once, you felt like experiencing this part of your youth you never got to taste. “Sure.”

Hopefully, if nothing else, the party would be a nice distraction…

“You know Lee Heeseung?”

Or not.

Upon arriving at the venue where the supposed party was being held (which happened to be in the common rooms, meaning a relatively short walk), Sunoo had immediately dragged you over to a group of older girls, who were all either second or third years. You chatted with them awkwardly until they brought up the name all too familiar with you, fawning over his good looks. And Sunoo, who sensed the sudden spark of jealousy in your eyes, had been quick to subtly stake your claim on him.

Not that he needed to, considering Heeseung wasn’t yours…

“He’s my brother’s best friend,” you explained. Though you wished you kept your mouth shut, after seeing the glint of excitement in the senior’s eye. “Why?”

One of the other seniors grasped your hands. “Then do you think you can introduce me to him? He’s totally my type!”

You frowned.

“Oh, I forgot I was supposed to meet with some other friends,” Sunoo suddenly said. He then turned to you, grabbing your wrist out of the senior’s hands. “Come on, [_____]. They said they wanted to meet you, too.” With one last half-assed apology, Sunoo dragged you away from the seniors. He glanced at you, frowning at your vacant expression. “Sorry about them.”

You shook your head. “No. It’s okay…”

You supposed you should have seen this coming. Who wouldn’t want to be close to Lee Heeseung? It was only natural. But deep inside, you couldn’t help but wonder, if there was someone — someone like those pretty seniors you were with — who Heeseung wanted to be close to. After all, you knew he was single, but that didn’t mean his heart wasn’t taken. So who? Who was it?

“Little Park?”

You immediately froze in your tracks, causing Sunoo to pause right beside you. That nickname… Only one person ever used it. And there was no mistaking that voice. You immediately turned around, as your body was driven by some subconscious reaction to respond to him. Your eyes widened when you met gazes with Heeseung.

And he did not seem happy.

Heeseung’s eyebrows furrowed as his eyes landed on Sunoo’s hand on your wrist. His hand clenched in a fist by his side, and his jaw was clenched. He was as gorgeous as always, with his silver hair shining under the dim lighting of the common room, creating a nice contrast with the black shirt that clung to his form, moulding itself perfectly over his muscles. But the thing you noticed first was not the glare in his eyes, or his beauty.

It was the busted lip he was sporting, and the purple bruise on his cheek.

Your eyes widened, a gasp slipping past your lips. You didn’t know when Sunoo had dropped your wrist, but you didn’t care in that moment. You immediately ran to Heeseung, eyes trained on the injuries on his face. “Hee!” you gasped out, raising your hand to his face, your fingers hovering over his injury. “What happened to you? Your face…”

Heeseung looked down at you, sparing a weak smile, all his precious displeasure fading from his face. “Don’t worry.” He lifted his hand to grab your own, eyes holding the same light it always did when he spoke to you. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not!” You said. And it was probably the first time you ever raised your voice against him. But he simply grinned even wider, despite the pain he must feel from the cut on his lip. “Come on, we’re going to get your wound treated!” You turned around, facing Sunoo who was watching the two of you with raised eyebrows. “Sorry, but we have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Sunoo barely got to say goodbye before you were bounding up the stairs. You pulled Heeseung behind you and he followed you like a lost puppy as you navigated your way up the stairs, towards your room at the end of the hallways. You threw the door open, making Heeseung sit on the bed as you looked around at your unpacked boxes.

“Where did I put my First Aid Kit?”

You went to reach for one of the boxes, only to be stopped by Heeseung’s hands on your own. “Hold up, Hee,” you said absently, not looking at his face. “Let me just—”

“[____].”

You froze at the sound of Heeseung’s voice calling you by name — your actual name. Not ‘Little Park’, the name that ensured he only looked at you as an extension of his friendship with your brother, but your name. Just you. You slowly turned around, wonderstruck at how the sound of your name on his tongue was both unfamiliar but right.

Heeseung smiled at you, and you thought at that moment that the look in his eyes tonight were the most beautiful things you’d ever seen. “Just stop for a moment, okay?”

Before you could say another word, Heeseung was pulling you towards him, so that you were standing between his legs. Your eyes widened, and your breath hitched in your throat. His nose brushed against yours as he looked up at you, eyelids hooded as his chocolate orbs stared into yours, looking as if he was trapped in some daze. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you looked at the bruise on your cheek.

“But your wounds,” you whispered, worry causing your lips to tug downwards in a frown, despite the way your soul sang at your proximity.

“I deserve them,” Heeseung whispered in return. “If I were Jay, I would beat me up, too.”

You froze, your blood going ice cold. “My brother did this to you?”

Your brother — Heeseung’s best friend — Jeongseong was the one responsible for the injuries on Heeseung’s face? Just what had happened in the few hours that you didn’t see the two of them? What was severe enough to warrant punches between all-but-blood brothers?

“I let him,” Heeseung said. “I said something I knew would piss him off, and gave him a free shot at me.” Heeseung laughed, as if recalling some fond memory. “He always did like bargain deals…”

You stared at Heeseung, dumbfounded. “What did you say to my brother that was bad enough to earn you this?”

Heeseung stared at you in silence. You stared back. The room was filled with a heavy tension as Heeseung’s eyes flickered down to your parted lips, his fingers curling into your waist. After what felt like an eternity, his eyes wandered up to yours.

“I told him that I liked his sister.”

You gasped silently, your eyes widening comically at Heeseung’s words. What did you even say to them? It was funny how you had been chasing after him for so long, and yet never imagined what might happen given the possibility that Lee Heeseung would feel the same way for you. And now that it was happening, you were helpless to react, your throat closing up and swallowing your words.

Then you remembered his strange reaction to Jeongseong’s words this morning, and if all made sense. “So this morning… You weren’t mad at me?

Heeseung smiled seeing your reaction. “I could never be mad at you,” he said, thumbs caressing your sides. “I’m sorry if it seemed that way… I was more frustrated with myself.” You gave him a questioning look. “I just knew I couldn’t keep hiding from the truth any longer: Your brother is smart, but he was wrong this time. He said I didn’t like you — but I do. I have for a while now.”

You didn’t even know what to say. If this was even real, or if you would wake up in your bed any second now with a hangover and the taste of vomit on your tongue. But all you knew right then and there was that you didn’t care if this was a dream or not. All you could think about was the you from two years ago, who had fallen for this man for the first time because she had looked into his eyes just like you were doing now.

“And what did my brother say after he punched you?” you asked breathlessly, your heart wrenching now that you knew just exactly why Heeseung was in the state he was.

Heeseung gave you that smile of his. The same one from when you meet. The same one you fell for. The same one you dreamt about every day since.

“He made me promise to love you like my life depended on it,” Heeseung replied. “And that’s exactly what I did.”

You don’t know who moved first. But within a split second, your lips met Heeseung, and a sharp hiss was ripped from his throat from the pressure on the cut on his lips. But before you could even think about pulling away, his hand found the nape of your neck, melding your lips further into his own.

Heeseung stole your kisses like it was breathing in air. You let him take them the same way he took your heart.

“I like you,” you whispered as you pulled away from him. “I like you so much.”

When the two of you fully parted form each other, you looked into Heeseung’s eyes to see an unfamiliar fire in them. “Before I ask you to be mine, I just have one question.” Heeseung smirked coolly as you swallowed nervously under his gaze. “About the guy you were with earlier…”

You blinked, surprised. “Sunoo? What about him?”

“You’re not a thing, are you?”

You raised your eyebrows, taking in Heeseung’s expression. The green in his eyes, and the distaste in his tone. You burst out into laughter upon seeing his jealousy shine through for the first time since meeting him, a warm feeling settling over your chest.

“I’m flattered you think every man I come across is interested in me…” you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “But just so you know — I’m single.”

Heeseung smiled softly, a distant memory of the past flashing through his mind. “Not anymore,” he claimed, before his lips found yours again.

You smiled into the kiss, too starstruck to do anything else.

All of a sudden, it was like you were seventeen again, and he was nineteen, playing guitar in your brother’s room. And just like then, you knew, your world was never going to be the same. With Lee Heeseung by your side, it could only be better.

✉️ PS 노트 ! this fic inspired by the drama ‘hidden love’ and the novel ‘secretly, secretly, but unable to hide it’. the pretty dividers with the bows are by @/v6que, but the header was made by me!

#bro i loved hidden love #SO THIS?? #top tier omg #recs ⁝ lee heeseung #lee heeseung ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

someday

pairings: teacher!jake x single mom!reader

summary: Being a single mom to a 6 year old daughter isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t help that her class teacher awakens feelings inside of you, you haven’t felt in a long time. Will the love between you blossom, or will your complicated life drive you apart?

words: 11.6k

story colour: green

warnings: one heavy (?) make out session and a lot of tension

masterlist of ‘enhypen as jobs’

Life can change.

From one second to another, everything can change. Everything you have once known to be normal, everything you were used to. It all can get ripped away from you in the matter of a few seconds.

From one second to another a seventeen-year-old girl finds out she got pregnant from a boy that wasn’t ready to commit to a life like that yet and parents that felt nothing but disappointment towards their teenage daughter.

From one second to another this girl had to move away, raise a child on her own and build a life save for them to live in. She had to find a job with a steady income, find people who could help her and put all her needs aside for the small bundle of life she brought into the world.

Not only did she have to change her life, but she also had to rebuild it. She had to create a new, healthier and secure one. Suddenly it wasn’t about what outfit to wear to school, how to sneak out to go to a party or new drama that happened at school. It was about changing diapers, sleepless nights caused by a toothing child and soothing countless emotional outbreaks. It was about raising her child, teaching kindness and blaming every bad thing on herself.

But at the end of the day, it was being grateful, loving the child unconditionally and not being able to imagine her life any different. It was feeling purpose, feeling needed and feeling loved. It was showing exactly that love to her child and never letting her forget that.

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

Listening to the waves crashing against the shore, you soak in the last moments of this morning, the soft rays of sun on your face, the slight breeze making your cheeks rosy and the faint sound of birds chirping somewhere close by. You soak in this moment, because moments like this are rare in the life you’re living, quiet and undisturbed, protected from all the daily stress and complications.

You breathe in the air one last time, before you see someone approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

“Look mommy, I found a pretty shell.”, your 6-year-old daughter Nuri says as she holds her hand out for you to see. You show her a bright smile, admiring the pretty shell in her hands. Your daughter has always been a collector, shells, flowers, rocks, even leaves, nothing is safe from her. And it’s something you love about her. How she sees the beauty in the small things, always so eager to show you the new things she discovered, with her big bright eyes.

“It’s so pretty, Nuri. How about you put it into your bag and later we will get the other shells you collected and make a pretty necklace out of them?” You watch as the little girl enthusiastically nods, putting the shell carefully into her bag, before sitting down beside you on the blanket you laid over the sand.

“Are you excited about starting school today?”, you ask your daughter, as you gently pull her onto your lap, stroking her hair with one of your hands. Whenever you look at her, you get stunned by how much you see your younger self in her. The more she grows, the more the resemblance grows. But you also realize how awfully fast time passes, and how much has changed since the day you held your little baby in your arms for the first time.

“I am.”, Nuri says, her big eyes almost disappearing as she grins widely at you, showing off her missing front tooth. “But I will also miss kindergarten a lot. And I will miss you too, mommy.”

In an instant, tears fill up your eyes and it takes you a moment to swallow them down, not wanting Nuri to see you like that. You could cry after you dropped her off at school, but for now, those tears will have to stay hidden. “I will miss you too, sweet girl. But it is just a few hours that we don’t see each other. Every day after school I will pick you up and we can do whatever we want to do, okay?”

Nuri nods her head again, before wrapping her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug. “Do you think I will make any friends?”

“Of course, you will.”, you tell her, truthfully. Your daughter, in contrary to you, never had problems talking to others. She is a social butterfly, making friends wherever she goes. You admire her for that, wanting to have the same trait. Because while she plays with all the kids in the playground, you can only watch the other mothers sit together, talking about everything and nothing. Part of you wants to just go up to them, ask them if you could join them, but the other part of you feels anxious, scared of getting judged, the way you always do. Being a mom so young has only brought you trouble, wherever you go. And while Nuri is the best thing that has happened to you, others seem to not support that opinion.

If you got a dollar for every time someone told you that you would destroy your kids future, or that you are way too young to have this kind of responsibility, you would be rich by now. Everywhere you go, if it’s grocery shopping, getting gas, at restaurants, people try to give you advice or comment on the things that apparently went wrong with your life, without even knowing you or your story. You heard everything, from your parents not raising you right or having daddy issues because your dad left you when you were young, to being whore that slept around until she eventually got pregnant.

But they don’t know that it was just a simple accident. That it was two teenagers having their first times together, being nervous and not really knowing what to do. It was two teenagers who didn’t think and had to deal with the consequences of their moment together. Well, at least one did. It wasn’t your parents’ fault; it wasn’t you sleeping around. It was just something that happened, unplanned but not unwanted.

And they don’t know that ever since Nuri came into your life, everything felt like it had a purpose. You felt like you had a purpose. Being a mother has made you find out who you truly are, and what you truly want. It made you more aware of the process of growing up, and made you realize all the stupid things you did as a teenager. It helped you through the hardest times and gave you something to hold on to, a reason to fight. Nuri is the reason you wake up every day, the reason you can get out of bed and the reason you finally have a routine in your life.

And you truly believe that it was meant to happen. You were meant to get pregnant with her and build up a life for the both of you.

“If someone will make a lot of friends, it’s you. I just know that everyone will love you, just how I know that I love you, so so much.”

-

It’s a weird feeling, picking your daughter up from her first day of school. You watch all the kids run up to their parents, excited little faces, already going on and on about everything that happened while they spend a few hours apart.

And while you’re waiting for your daughter to exit the school, you realize you can’t wait to be with her again, to hear her tell all the stories about her experiences on her first day, to get ice cream with her and make necklaces and bracelets. You realize that this must be harder for you than for her. She doesn’t realize the quickness in which she grows up, but you do.

It feels like yesterday when she was still in your belly. It feels like yesterday when she took her first steps, falling face first to the ground. It feels like yesterday when she said her first words, going up to every stranger in the grocery store and proudly repeating that word to them. It feels like yesterday when she lost her favorite toy and cried for two days straight. When you threw a little goodbye party for that toy with her and explained to her that maybe another child found her toy and gave it a new home, only to find the toy four days later under your bed. And it feels like yesterday when she came into your room, telling you she had a nightmare. She crawled into your bed and shortly before sleep took over, she whispered that you are the best mommy in the whole world.

All these memories start crashing over you, one by one. Tears fill your eyes yet again, and it takes everything in you to blink them away, not wanting to break down in front of all these strangers.

“Mommy.”, you hear her voice before you see her. Turning in the direction of the voice, you see your daughter running up to you, her arms wide open. You kneel down, opening your arms yourself and a bright smile lighting up all your features.

“Hey, my sweet girl.”, you say as you wrap her tightly into your arms. All the sadness you felt a moment ago washes away the moment you relish in the feeling of having the most important person in your life in your arms. “How was your first day?”

“It was so amazing, mommy. We learned a new song and ate a lot of fruits together. I made a lot of friends, and all my teachers are so nice.” You can’t help but smile brightly at the excitement of your daughter. “Do we have some time before we go home? I want you to meet my teacher. He is still in the classroom, so we have to hurry.”

Before you can answer, Nuri already takes off with your hand in hers, leading you inside the school and to her classroom. You marvel at all the colorful decoration, the helpful quotes and the artistic pictures. “Hello, Mr. Sim.”, your daughter says, excitedly waving at her teacher.

You take another step into the classroom, looking for the man that is busy packing his bag. But when he turns around and shows your daughter a bright smile, it almost takes your breath away. You never expected a teacher to look this… gorgeous. Mr. Sim looks young, your age probably, his skin is soft and glowing, his eyes a deep shade of brown and his black hair framing his perfect face. He has full, pink lips and a smile so bright, it resembles a puppy.

“Hey, Nuri. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on your way home?” Even his voice sounds like it was dipped into honey and laced with cream and sprinkles. It does something to you, you haven’t felt in a really long time.

“I wanted you to meet my mommy.”, she says, pointing over at you. And the moment Mr. Sim’s eyes meet you, you can feel something in the air change. A uncuttable tension fills the room, and you can’t stop staring at him. You can’t stop looking at his perfect face and his perfect eyes and his perfect lips. You feel ashamed for feeling this way, for thinking about your daughter’s teacher that way, but you can’t help yourself. “Mr. Sim this is my mommy.”

“Hi.”, he says, his voice breaking with this simple word. “I’m Mr. Sim, but you can call me Jake.” Jake wipes his hand on his pants before reaching it out for you to take, which you do. Gently you place your hand in his, giving it a soft shake, almost sighing at the feeling of this small contact. Jake has big hands, long fingers and veins traveling up his arms, but his skin is so soft and smooth it almost doesn’t seem fair.

“I’m Y/N, Nuri’s mom.” You almost punch yourself for sounding so weak and pathetic. The last thing you want is for Nuri’s teacher to know what an effect his mere presence has on you. “Are you Nuri’s class teacher?”

“For now, yeah. I’m a substitute teacher since their actual teacher got into an accident and has to rest for probably a few months. I was meant to start at another school but got transferred here last minute.” You could listen to him speak for hours. “But you probably don’t care about that.” He chuckles softly, letting a hand nervously glide through his silky hair. “What you probably do care about is that we have a parents’ conference next week. I wanted to send an e-mail to every parent, but you know, seeing as you are here, I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

You nod at him, showing him a small appreciative smile. “Thank you, Jake. I will see what I can do to come. Maybe someone will have the time to look after Nuri for a few hours.”

Jake nods one time, then another, before letting his hand fall to his side. “It’s a pretty important conference, seeing that this has a lot of information about the first school year. Maybe her father can look after her, so you can come.” You can hear the lingering note in his sentence, subconsciously knowing that he’s testing the waters.

“Nuri’s father is not in her life.”, you say, looking down at your daughter who only smiles up at you. “It’s just us, right, sweet pee?”

“Yep.”, she says, nodding her head a few times. “Our house is a girls’ only zone.” Jake chuckles at the words of the little girl in front of him. He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and takes out his phone to hand it to you.

“You can see if you find someone to look after her for a few hours and if not, you can just text me and we will find a solution. Is that okay with you?” Stunned, you take his phone, seeing his contact list already open.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Thank you so much, Mr. Sim.”

“Jake.”, he tells you again, a gentle smile resting on his lips. “You can just call me Jake, okay?”

-

“God, it was so embarrassing.”, Jake says as he drinks a sip from his coke. “I kept on rambling and stuttering. Like my hands got all sweaty and I couldn’t even really look her in the eyes.”

He hears his friends laughing at him to which he just frowns. Jake knows the way he acted around you, his student’s mom, wasn’t appropriate, but it was like the moment he saw you his brain stopped working. All the blood rushed out of it, leaving him stupid and unable to form thought through sentences. It was like he was sixteen all over again. A teenager nervous around pretty girls, unable to talk to them without making a foul out of himself.

“Dude, you seem down bad for her.”, Jay, his friend, says, not being able to hide the amusement in his voice. It’s been a while since the boys heard any stories about women in Jake’s life. Jake always tried to keep in love life as clear as possible, only looking for something serious and whenever he noticed the other person wasn’t reciprocating the same feeling, he ended whatever it was between him and the other person. Ever since Jake was young, he had one wish and that was to be in love. To love unconditionally, find someone who feels the same way and spend the rest of his life with them. To marry, have kids and grow old together. That’s what Jake always wanted, and still does to this day. But finding someone with the same wish turned out to be harder than he thought it would.

“But doesn’t she have a kid? Doesn’t that mean she has a husband, or boyfriend?”, Sunghoon asks, joining in on the conversation.

Jake just shakes his head, sighing as he lets his free hand nervously glide through his hair. “No, I already asked her. It’s apparently just her and her daughter. But I don’t know where the father is, didn’t think it would be appropriate to ask her that.”

“Wait. You asked her about a man in her life?”, Heesungs’ eyes are wide, and he has to swallow the laugh that threatens to leave his lips. “Bro, there is no way, you had the balls to do that. She definitely knows that you are interested in her.”

“What?”, Jake exclaims, bewilderedly looking at his friends. “What do you mean she knows I am interested in her?”

“Bro, you asked if she has a boyfriend or not, that’s the first sign of testing the waters, checking if she’s single. Everyone knows that and I bet she does too.”

Jake lets his head fall into his hands, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “She probably thinks I am a weirdo. God, what if she doesn’t want her child to be in a class with a teacher that was shamelessly hitting on her? What if she tells the other parents and I’m going to get kicked out of that school?”

“Jake.”, Sunghoon puts a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I doubt she would do that. And come on, maybe she is interested in you as well. Look at you, you are an attractive man. Don’t overthink this whole thing, okay?”

-

“And they lived happier ever after. The end.”, you finish reading the bedtime story for Nuri, closing the book and putting it on her nightstand.

“Mommy?”, you hear her quiet voice asking for you. Immediately, you take her hand, showing her a soft smile. She looks so small with her eyes just half open, tiredness written all over her face.

“Yes, sweety?”

“Do you like Mr. Sim?” The question surprises you, makes you take a few deep breaths before feeling ready to answer.

“I think he is a lovely person. He seems very sweet to you. Why do you ask that?”

Nuri adjusts her position, trying to open her eyes more to look at you clearly. “I think you are in love with him. Mrs. Kim said that when someone is in love with another person, they get very nervous and start stuttering in their sentences. She told me that you can’t stop looking at the person and that you seem kind of starstruck. Just like the way I look at ice cream.” She hugs her little teddy bear closer to her chest before continuing. “That’s how you looked today when you looked at Mr. Sim.”

You can’t help but shake your head as you hear the words your elderly neighbor has told your daughter. But it shouldn’t surprise you. Mrs. Kim has always been a hopeless romantic, going on and on about how you will find the right guy for you, that you just have to be patient. She has been watching over Nuri ever since she was a little baby, and it was bound to happen that at some point she would fill your daughter’s head with this nonsense.

“I am not in love with Mr. Sim, baby. I don’t even know him.”

“But you could get to know him. And then you will fall in love with him and live happily ever after with him, just like in the stories you read me every night.” You can hear something underlying in your daughter’s voice. Something she hides as she speaks those words.

“Nuri, why do you want me to fall in love with Mr. Sim?”, you ask her, squeezing her hand softly. You can see the sadness forming on her little face and it breaks your heart seeing her like this. Whatever it is that she was thinking at that moment, must have been on her mind for a long time.

“Ever since last year the kids in kindergarten asked me why I don’t have a dad. Every kid there has a dad, just not me. I want to have a dad, too, just like all the other children do.” Small tears start dripping down her cheeks, and you can’t hide the ones threatening to leave your eyes too.

“Oh, my sweet girl. Come here.” You gently pull her into a hug, cradling her head in your hands. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”

“I didn’t want to make you sad. I know that talking about my dad makes you very sad, and I don’t want you to be sad, mommy.” Twice, you felt your heart break within a few minutes. You hadn’t realized the effect this theme has on you, the sadness that still lingers whenever you think about her father. You hadn’t realized that your daughter noticed that. Your empathetic six-year-old daughter. A part of you feels proud of her for being such a sweet considerate little girl, but the other part is scared of how much other stuff she has noticed.

“Nuri, I am so sorry for not talking a lot about your father with you. I promise I will answer you every question about him in the future. And I am not sad when you mention him, okay? It is so important for you to communicate your feelings with me. When something worries you, you can always come to me and tell me about it, no matter what, okay?” You can feel her nod against your chest, her little hands wiping away the tears on her face. “Good. Now try to sleep, sweety. You need to have a lot of energy for school tomorrow. I love you, Nuri.”

“I love you too, mommy.”

-

You feel nervous as you park at the school building. There are several cars there already, all parents who will also be at the conference. Anxiety builds up in your belly, the fears of judgement towards you rising inside of you. This happened a lot at parent conferences when Nuri was still in kindergarten. The parents would be delighted to see you at first, asking if you are her sister but when they find out you are her mom, all you got was weird looks and whispers from other parents. It made you almost skip every conference after that, but you had to go, for Nuri’s sake. So, it’s understandable why your hands are shaking as you enter the school.

You dropped Nuri off at Mrs. Kim’s appartement, not before telling her to stop bringing Nuri’s hope of you getting a boyfriend up. A part of you knows that Mrs. Kim didn’t mean it with any bad intention, but you still don’t want Nuri to think that she will get a dad. Her real father is still uninterested to be in her life, and you don’t think that will change any time soon, and bringing a new father figure into her life is something you are still afraid of. People these days are not looking for serious commitment, they get scared when they hear about the child in your life, and they leave before anything serious can even start to develop. And the last thing you want is to introduce someone to Nuri’s life, just to have them leave a few weeks later. You don’t want to do that to her.

“Y/N.”, you hear someone call out for you and when you turn around you are greeted with the bright smile of no other than Sim Jake. “You made it. I am so happy to see you.”

“Yeah, sorry for not texting you. I kind of forgot about it with the whole stress I was having the best few days.” Jake seems to only smile brighter at your words, one of his hands nervously scratching the back of his neck. It gives you a moment to take him in. He is wearing a baggy pair of blue jeans with a black button up shirt, the arms of his shirt rolled up, exposing his arms. You can’t help but to let your eyes trail to his hands, his beautiful hands, but before you let yourself trail off too long, you let your eyes wander back to his, only to be met by a smirking Jake. Jake noticed your wandering gaze, the way your eyes shamelessly roamed his body. And he can’t say he isn’t flattered.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. I’m just glad to see you again. I hope you are, too.” You can hear the shift in his voice, the confidence and pride in it. And it makes a shiver run down your spine. “But we should go inside the classroom, before the parents get worried where I am.”

For the whole conference, you try to stay focused, to take notes and remember everything Jake was telling the parents, but your mind always drifted off. You got lost staring at the way he was talking so animatedly with his hands, biting his lip, and licking it with his tongue after every sentence, and how he brushes his hair out of his eyes every few seconds. And looking around, you notice that you don’t seem to be the only one staring at Jake. Some other mothers in the room developed a certain fascination with the young teacher, tugging their hair behind their ears and looking at him with a starstruck gaze. Watching them, you notice that you must look the same way when you look at Jake, just how Nuri told you. And it makes an embarrassed flush appear on your cheeks. You should really get yourself together. This is the teacher of your daughter, you shouldn’t be thinking about him in that way, shouldn’t be staring at him with such hungry eyes.

So, when you Jake announces the end of the conference, you can’t help but to hastily back your things into your back and make your way to head out of the classroom. “Y/N.” But Jake’s voice stops you from that. “Can you stay back a bit? I want to talk to you.” You turn around and give him a quick and shy nod, before sitting down on one of the chairs again and waiting for all the other parents to leave. Which turns out to take longer than you thought it would, almost all of the moms line up in front of him, asking him questions and wanting his attention.

Every now and then you see the look on Jake’s face, the tight-lipped smile and the alarming eyes, seeming almost uncomfortable. But you could be wrong about that impression.

Finally, the last one left, leaving only you and Jake in the classroom. He turns to you, a soft and honest looking smile on his lips. “Thank you for waiting, Y/N. I really appreciate that.” You smile back at him, standing up so you can walk over to him.

“Why did you want me to stay back?”, you ask him as you stop in front of him, looking up at him with your wide eyes. Jake seems to be losing the ability to talk again, your eyes driving him crazy. You give him the type of look that makes him want to press you against the next wall and kiss you until your lungs give out.

“I wanted to ask you how you liked the conference.” His voice is low and coarse, and he has to clear his throat a few times to get rid of the lump in it.

“You wanted me to stay back just so you could ask me how I liked the parents conference?”, you ask him, eyebrows raised in a question.

“Yes?”, he answers, his yes almost sounding like a question itself. He scratches the back of his neck again, feeling suddenly so self-conscious. “I mean it was my first time doing something like this and I guess I just wanted to know how I was. You know, if I came across as nervous or insecure.”

You shake your head at him, a constant smile on your lips. “Jake, you did so well. Everyone in this room liked you, and you seemed so confident when you talked about everything. Believe me, no one could have done it better than you.”

Jake feels his heart swell at your words, not having thought you would say something like that to him. It has been a long time since Jake has gotten praised in such a way, and it does something to him, something he can’t admit to himself.

“Thank you.”, he mumbles, a faint bit of blush on his cheeks. “Hearing that means a lot to me.”

You gently squeeze his arm, showing him another bright smile. “No need to thank me. I am just telling you the truth.” You take a step back again, hand sinking back to your side. “But I sadly have to go now. I have to pick up Nari since it’s a school night and I don’t want her to stay awake for too long.”

“Yeah, sure, of course.”, Jake quickly says, walking to his bag and starting to pack in his things. “Give me a second, I will walk you to your car.”

-

This has been the third time in four months that you were too late to pick up Nuri from school. With the newfound time, your boss thought it was a good idea to give you more work, and normally you would decline this amount of work, since it gives you less time that you can spend with Nuri. But more work also means more money, and you need it more desperately than ever lately. The rent in your apartment got raised, fuel got more expensive and all the school stuff that you had to buy also didn’t make your bank account look good.

With your head lowered and guilt tripping down every part of your body, you walk into Nuri’s school. As you step into her classroom, your eyes widen. Jake is sitting beside Nuri on a desk, drawing inside a book with her, while talking to her with a soft smile on his face.

“There you are Ms. Park.”, you can hear the voice of Nuri’s other teacher Mrs. Song.  “We waited for you for 30 minutes now. This is the third time this has happened, and I cannot tell you how disappointed I am with your punctuality. I get that you are young, but that doesn’t give you the right to abandon your own child for whatever party activity you have to do.”

Almost immediately you feel the guilt replace itself with anger. You know that picking up your child too late is irresponsible, but claiming you abandon your child and go partying is reaching too high. You feel like you’re seventeen-year-old you all over again, when everyone told you that you won’t be able to raise a child, that your child will grow up traumatized, wishing they had all the things other kids her age have. They told you to give Nuri up for adoption, that it would be the best possibility at your age.

“I am so sorry I was late picking up Nuri, again. But your accusations are what are disappointing here. As a teacher you shouldn’t have such prejudices against parents. Yes, I am young, but that doesn’t mean I am not able to love and provide for my daughter. Live on day in my shoes and see how well you can manage it.”

A short beat of silence fills the room, and before Mrs. Song can open her mouth to say another word, Jake speaks up first. “Mrs. Song, how about you take Nuri to one of the vending machines and get her a snack, while I talk to Ms. Park.”

With a heavy sigh, Mrs. Song nods, taking Nuri’s hand and walking out of the room with her, leaving you and Jake alone. “Y/n.” He gently says as he walks over to you. And there is something about his voice, so gentle and caring and something about his presence so comfortable and safe, that makes the tears in your eyes break their way free to roll over your cheeks. “Oh, come here.”

Jake gently pulls you into his arms, one hand on your back, comfortingly stroking it, and the other on your head. You wrap your own arms tightly around him and allow yourself for the first time in months to let it all out, the stress, the hurt, the pain, the longing, everything. A sob wracks through your whole body, and it breaks Jake’s heart. He doesn’t know how to help you, what to do to take all this pain away from you. So, all he does is pull you closer – if that’s even possible – and whisper encouraging words into your ear.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Jake gently asks as he pulls away from the hug, taking your face in his hands and wiping the tears on your face away with his thumbs.

You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm down from your little breakdown, before starting to talk to him. “Everything has just been so hard lately. I can barely pay rent, I have to work longer and harder to earn all the money I need, and Nuri hasn’t stopped talking and asking questions about her dad. I try to act unbothered by it, but if your daughter talks about the boy that has not only broken your heart but left you alone when you most needed him, it makes you relive it all over again. And I just feel like the worst mom on earth for not being able to give Nuri the live she deserves. Everyone is telling me that over and over again, what if they are right?”

“No.”, Jake says shaking his head. He cups your cheek with one hand, the other one taking its place on your waist. “Listen to me. You are an amazing mom, Y/n. God, half of the people that say those mean things want to be just like you. You sacrificed so much to provide for your daughter and that is more than just admirable. You should be proud of yourself, not doubt yourself. Nuri loves you. In fact, you are all she ever talks about. She admires you so much, Y/n, and she loves you with all her heart. That’s what matters the most.”

More tears start to stream down your cheeks, and you whisper a quiet ‘thank you’ to Jake, before pulling him back into your arms. He holds you close, leaving a gentle kiss at your temple every now and then. “How about we get Nuri and then we go out for ice cream? I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”

You nod against his chest, not ready to let go of him yet. “Thank you, Jake. For everything.”

-

Something changed between you and Jake after that day. It started with texts, him checking up on you every now and then, seeing if you need help. Then it developed to calls, once a week, talking about your feelings and worries, but those calls quickly got more frequent and happened every night after you put Nuri down to sleep. And you don’t know how it happened or when it happened, but now you find yourself getting ready to meet him for the first time in another place other than Nuri’s school.

“I think the purple top looks prettier on you, mommy.” Nuri says from where she sits on your bed. You have been changing outfits for an hour now, never finding the right thing to wear.

“You think so?”, you ask as you put it over put it on yet again. “I think you are right. This should be good enough.” You turn around to face Nuri, just to see her snuggled up with her teddy bear, big eyes watching you attentively. “You ready to spend some time with Mrs. Kim, sweety?”

You are answered with a wild nod and a bright smile. You know you could just take her with you, Jake wouldn’t mind that at all, but there is a part of you that really wants to spend some time with him alone. Just you and him.

You shouldn’t feel selfish about it, but you do. You feel like you put your own needs before your daughters’ ones. You know it’s far reached since this is the first time in a while that Mrs. Kim has to look after Nuri, but you hate depending on people. You hate having to drop Nuri off somewhere when you have plans. You hate that you can’t do this alone.

“Hey, pretty girl.”, Jake says as he sits down beside you on the picknick blanket you pulled out for the two of you, a bright smile is on his beautiful lips. “Can I ask you why exactly you wanted to meet here?”

You look at the ocean in front of you, at the soft waves crashing against the shore, glowing under the soft light of the sun peeking through the clouds. There is something magical about this place, something you can’t describe in words.

“I used to come here all the time when I was pregnant with Nuri. It was the only place that seemed to calm me down. I guess I just wanted to share that with you. You have become a very comforting part of my life, and I just thought you would like this place as much as I do.”

There is something in Jake eyes that changes the moment you speak those words. They seem to go lighter, wider, like a little puppy. It makes all the blood in your body rush right up in your cheeks and lets goosebumps rise over your skin. It makes you think about things you aren’t supposed to think, feel things that definitely aren’t appropriate to be thought in public.

Jake takes one of your hands, giving it a tight squeeze before sighing gently and looking out into the sea. You follow his gaze, admiring the sand glittering in the sunlight and listening to the sounds of the seals far off on the water. Both of you relish in the tranquility of the moment, no words needed.

“It’s my birthday next week,” Jake says after a few minutes. “I am throwing a small party. Just me and my three friends and I wanted to know if you want to come as well.”

You look at him only to be met with his hopeful, big eyes. He shows you an encouraging smile, and for a moment you unlearn the ability to speak. “Uhm, yeah, sure. Is it okay if I bring Nuri with me? I hate having to leave her at Mrs. Kims place all the time.”

“Of course, I was assuming she was going to come as well.” Your heart swells at his words, appreciating his attentive soul. You know how much Jake grew fond of Nuri. He talks about her approvements in school all the time, telling you about funny jokes she makes or impressive questions she asks. Jake tells you how smart and polite she is, and how she always tries to include everyone into the little friend group she built. He also tells you how well you raised her, and how proud he is of you for that, but that’s not something you want to focus on, because it makes you think about inappropriate things.

“Then we will definitely be there.” Jake shows you another one of his bright smiles, white teeth on his display. Sometimes when you look at him, through the phone or in real life, you wonder what it is the two of you have. You wonder if it is just a friendship the two of you are building up, or if it is more than that. There are moments- you don’t know if you are imagining them or if they are real- where the tension between you heightens, so much it could be cut with a knife. There are moments in which it feels like if one of you makes a move something is going to happen, something big and heavy. There are moments in which you think that this could be it. This could be yours forever. It sounds crazy, farfetched, but Jake is the type of person you always wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He is the kind of person, you know would treat you right, the kind of person that would have a good influence on Nuri. You know you two haven’t fully gotten to know each other. Jake may be in a completely different chapter of his life. He may not want to commit to something so serious, especially since he is only at the start of his teaching job, or because he is too young to think about having a family. You don’t know what this is between you guys and while you desperately want an answer to that question, you don’t want to risk losing whatever it is the two of your built up in the past weeks.

But when you look at Jake again you can feel the same tension, heavy and thick. You notice his eyes darkening, the way he licks his lips more often and glances down at your own every few seconds. One move, it will just take one move, and one of you is going to break the distance between the two of you.

Jake gently places one hand on your thigh, and you can feel his warmth burning through the material of your jeans and right onto your skin. You have to swallow the gasp that threatens to leave your lips, shocked at what such a little touch from him does to you. His hand travels further up and it almost feels impossible for you to think clearly. Every last piece of sanity left your body the moment Jake touched you and all you can focus on is him. Him and his plump lips, him and his big hands that are touching you in the most alluring way. And him and his big brown eyes, pulling you in and hypnotizing you.

“Y/n.”, he whispers, voice hoarse and rough. Suddenly, his face is closer, lips almost touching yours. You just have to lean forward a little more, but you are frozen, lost in his scent. You want him, you need him. Everything inside of you screams for him, in a way you have never experienced. Your body is pulled towards him like a magnet, and you need him to take you home to him right now. 

But before any of you can suggest that a voice calls out for Jake in the background. Almost immediately the two of you pull away from each other, awkwardly looking around. “Hey Jake. I knew that was your big head.” A man, around your age, approaches the two of you. He is tall, with black hair and a few prominent moles on his face. His smile reveals two little fangs which you find quite adorable.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you have any company.” The man awkwardly glances at the two of you, noticing that he just interrupted something between the two of you.

“All good, bro.”, Jake says, not being able to hide the disappointment in his voice. “Y/n, this is Sunghoon. One of my friends I told you about.” You show Sunghoon a polite smile, reaching one hand out to for him to take.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sunghoon.” Sunghoon can’t hide the surprised look on his face as he takes your hand and gives it a quick shake.

“Hold on, you are Y/n?” You nod your head at him, confused as to why he was reacting like that towards you. “Wow, I heard a lot about you.” From the corner of your eyes, you can see Jakes head falling into his hands, as he lets out a frustrated grunt. A smug grin appears on your lips as you cock your head at the boy in front of you.

“I hope you only heard good stuff.”

“You best believe it was only good stuff. Jake won’t stop talking about you. All day long he goes on about ‘Y/n is so-“ But before he can continue his sentence, Jake slaps one of his hands on the mouth of his friend, shutting him up indefinitely.

“That’s enough from you, Sunghoon. Man, you never know when to shut up.” Jake mumbles that last part, but you hear it anyway. All the doubt you had in your mind earlier leaves your head. Maybe Jake does want you the way you want him. Maybe he really is different than all the other man you met.

“Well as much as I wanted to hear whatever your friend had to say, I have to go now. It was nice meeting you, Sunghoon. And we will call later, right?” As you ask the last question, you look at Jake, eyebrows raised, waiting for his answer.

“Yes, of course. I will call you.”

“Okay, then see you later.” You give Jake a quick kiss on the cheek and show Sunghoon a last goodbye smile, before grabbing your things and walking to your car, leaving an embarrassed Jake and a widely grinning Sunghoon behind.

“So, this is Y/n, huh? Man, now I get why you won’t stop talking about her. She is hot.”

“Hey, come on. Don’t talk about her like that.” Jake shakes his head, blowing out some air from his lungs and closing his eyes for a moment to clear his still foggy mind. He still hasn’t recovered from the moment you two had just a few minutes ago. Jake was so close to kissing you, so close to asking you to go somewhere private, because he knows you felt it too. He knows you could feel the tension in the air, the arousal dripping from your body. He knows it, and he could feel it by the way your body was reacting to him. “She is so much more than just hot.”

“I’m just saying.” Sunghoon shrugs his shoulders, reaching one hand out to help Jake stand back up. “I’m glad you finally found someone, Jake. Happiness looks good on you.”

-

Nuri and you spent three hours baking and decorating the cupcakes for Jakes’ birthday party, and judging by the way Jakes friends stuff them into their mouths, it was worth the effort.

At first you were worries bringing Nuri to a birthday party with three strange men she doesn’t know but watching her giggle at the cream smeared faces of Jakes’ friends, all the worry flew right of the window. From the moment you entered the apartment the boys made it their life mission to entertain Nuri. They went from playing tea party, to performing dance routines, to laying on the ground and acting like they are mermaids. There was not one single wish Nuri expressed, that they didn’t grant in a heartbeat. She wants them to put on lipstick and towels as dresses to make a fashion show. Done. She wants them to act like knights and protect the princess- her- from a dangerous attack. Done. She wants them to carry her around, spin her in circles and throw her high up in the air every five minutes. Done.

And you can see that Nuri enjoys all the attention she is getting. She thrives in it, and it gives you a sense of relief.

“They are so good with children.”, you tell Jake who is sitting beside you, watching as Nuri counts down from ten to search for Sunghoon, Jay and Heeseung in a game of hide and seek.

“They are.”, Jake says, resting his head on your shoulder. “They all want children someday. We had that conversation before, so I knew that they would also love it when Nuri comes over.”

“And you?”, you ask Jake, looking down at him. “Do you want children?”

You can feel him smile from where he has his face buried in your neck. He leaves a gentle kiss at the space between your shoulder and your neck, before lifting his head to look into your eyes. “Yes.” There is no sign of hesitation in his voice, his eyes reflecting his sincerity. “Yes, I really want kids.”

“Now, or in a few years?”

“I don’t care.”, he says, grabbing one of your hands, and playing with your fingers just for a few seconds, before intertwining your fingers. “If now or in five years, I’m ready to have kids. I’ve always wanted them. Why would you think I work at an elementary school?” You can feel the weight lifting from your shoulders. This question has been bothering you for some time now, and now that it’s finally out and is answer is so fitting, you can’t fight the smile lighting up your face.

“Hey, you two love birds. I hate to interrupt your little moment, but I just wanted to ask you if it’s okay that we take Nuri to the playground a street down from here?”, Heeseung asks, looking straight at you. “Ever since we told her about the playground, she has been begging us to take her there. I swear we won’t be long, and we will take good care of her. I swear, I will never leave her out of my sight and stay by her side the whole time.”

This isn’t something you would normally do. You wouldn’t trust someone you barely know to take your child somewhere, but it’s something about the way they took care of her today that makes you trust them. And you trust Jake. You trust him to know what kind of people to introduce to your daughter. “Of course, yes.”, you tell Heseeung, smiling as you see the excitement on his face. “Just make sure to be back by dinner and to not let her on the swing for too long. She always gets sick when she’s on it for a longer time.” With one last nod and a ‘We promise to take the best care in the world about her’, they are out of the door.

It takes a few seconds for you to realize that you and Jake are alone. And it takes another few seconds for you to face the man sitting beside you. There it again, the look in his eyes, making you weak in his knees.

1, 2, 3 seconds pass and Jake can’t handle this silence anymore. He can’t handle the way you look at him and what it does to him. With one tug, Jake pulls you closer and it doesn’t take him long before he presses his lips against yours.

This is different than any kiss you have ever experienced. Jake kisses with a passion, with a longing, you have never felt before. His hands are on your body, in your hair, holding your cheeks. He pulls you onto his lap, never once stopping the heated kiss. You have your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you, needing to feel him everywhere.

There is an urgency in the kiss, a need to big it’s going to explode. Every pent of thought or longing the both of you have kept to yourself over the past week flows right into the kiss. It’s wild, passionate and so indescribable good. You can feel it tingling all over your body, waking up needs you didn’t know you have, thoughts you always tried to repress. Jakes hands wander over your body again, your thighs, your hips, your waist, your back. And it makes you moan softly into the kiss, breaking free just to take a deep breath which gives Jake enough time to explore the soft skin of your neck. He trails down kisses, stopping at the point where he feels your pulse and licking the sensitive skin.

Another soft moan slips out of your lips, and it drives Jake crazy. It makes his head spin and takes his breath away. There is no clear thought in his head anymore, everything is clouded by the pleasure of this moment. His hands pull you closer to him, eyes closing at the feeling of you, and you have to take another deep breath before whispering your next words.

“Take me to your room, Sim Jake.”

-

“You’re so beautiful.”, Jake whispers as he raises his hand to softly stroke your hair out of your face.

“Good morning to you too.” You have been waking up to the sight of Jake for the past few months now, and no matter how many times you see him like this, you never get used to the sight. His hair messy from the night’s sleep, his naked chest shining in the morning sun and his puffy pink lips puffy from the night before. He is gorgeous, ethereal even. No word describes the beauty he is carrying.

Jake pulls you into his arms so that your head lays on his chest and his arms are tightly around you. “I will never get used to this.”, he whispers. “This is a dream come true.”

“What is a dream come true?”

“You. This. Waking up next to you, getting to spend every day with you and Nuri. This, this is perfect.” You close your eyes, letting this moment sink in for a while. You capture it, take a mental photo and put it in a special box somewhere in your brain, so when things get hard again, this moment will remind you how easy life can be.

“I love you.”, you whisper softly, kissing his chest a few times before laying your head back down on it.

“I love you too, Y/n.” His voice is louder, clearer, like he never wants to hide those words from you, ever. “And I want this, forever. I know I have to move away soon for my job at another school, but we will make this work. I want to make this work. It’s just a two-hour drive, that’s practically nothing.”

You lift your head to look at Jake, admiring the soft glow of his skin. There is an ounce of doubt lingering in the air. You know that his move will complicate things for you. Visiting will be hard with Nuri having to go to school and you having to work every day, but there are always weekends. And if Jake believes that the two of you can make it work, then you will.

So, you nod your head, scooting up to leave a few kisses on his plump, puffy lips. “We can make this work. We will have to.”

-

The sun is shining brightly as you pull up to the school to pick Nuri up. Normally you would wait in the car until she walks out of the school, but since Nuri had an ‘end of the school’ project today, she wanted you to come in and take a look at what she made.

Life has been good, better than good, actually. Everything has been perfect. Jake had become a constant part of your lives, visiting a few times a week and taking the two of you out on trips. Nuri and Jake’s friends- well your friends as well now- have grown incredibly close. She doesn’t talk about anything else other than the boys and how fun it is to spend time with them. They have grown closer to you too, finding a weird kind of solace whenever you are around them.

Everything is the way you always wanted it to be. And sometimes you catch yourself thinking that everything is too perfect, that something is bound to happen any time soon to destroy the little perfect life you build yourself. But you never thought it would happen this soon.

As you walk inside the school, you search for the classroom where they exhibited the projects, stopping when you hear some voices not far from you. You know it’s rude to eavesdrop but when you hear your name in the conversation, you can’t help but to stop and listen.

“Yeah, apparently she and Jake are in a relationship.”

“What? Really? She is really trying to fuck herself to the top, isn’t she?”

“I mean we could have seen it coming, right? The way she always looked at him, like she wanted to eat him alive. It was concerning. It’s a real wonder he didn’t run away when he still could, but now she got him all under her claws.”

“I have known her since our daughters were in kindergarten, and she has always been like this. Whoring around and not caring about her daughter.”

“I mean I knew she was still young and immature, but that is shocking. First, she carelessly gets knocked up at seventeen and then instead of maturing she stays a naïve little girl who fucks her daughter’s teacher. If I were here, I would be embarrassed.”

“It’s no wonder she has no support from her parents anymore. I wouldn’t support my daughter if she were a disgrace to the family like she is.”

“I mean all that aside, I think she should take the time to mature first. She is still so young, not fit to be a mother. Maybe all she needs is a clear mind before she faces the hardships of life. Maybe no one taught her how to be an adult yet.”

“Are you defending her?”

“No, of course I am not. I’m just saying she needs a wake-up call. Something that will help her get all the horniness out of her mind and get her to take better care of her daughter.”

The world has stopped. You could feel it. The air feels heavier, time doesn’t go on anymore and all sounds went quiet. Everything has stopped, except for the thoughts in your head. A dark heavy cloud forms over your head, raining down on you with an intensity, you didn’t feel in a very long time.

Maybe you jinxed it. Maybe your constant worry of something ruining your perfect little life was the one thing that ruined it all together. You should have known it.

The worst thing is knowing that they are right, not with everything of course. You aren’t ready yet. There is so much you still need to learn, so many lessons you haven’t faced yet. You aren’t ready yet. You need to mature; become a proper adult and you really aren’t ready.

You noticed it a while ago, the lingering feeling in your chest whenever Jake was around, the nagging question in the back of your head. You noticed that there was a part of you- a part that grew stronger and stronger with time- that simply wasn’t ready for a relationship yet. And while whatever the women were saying was rude and uncalled for, they are right. They spoke out what you were too scared of admitting. They spoke out what you were too scared was going to ruin all the things you built up.

You can feel it now too, the pain consuming your heart, filling your lungs, and coursing through your veins. The tears filling your eyes, the stop stuck in your throat. But you can’t let it out, not here, not now. First, you have to be a mother. First, you have to look at Nuri’s project, tell her how proud you are of her and take her home to be the mother she deserves. Later, when she’s in bed, that’s when you can let it all out.

“Excuse me.”, you say, your voice surprisingly stable and strong. All four women turn around in a second, looking at you with wide eyes and open mouths. “I was searching for the classroom where they exhibit the school projects. Would you mind telling me where it is? I don’t want to get caught, what did you call it? Ah, yes, whoring around.”

A loud gasp leaves one of the mothers’ mouths and it takes all the strength in your body not to laugh out loud at their faces. One of the other women points in the direction of the classroom for you, gulping almost visibly as you show her a bright smile.

“Thank you so much.”, you say. As you walk past them, you stop, something nagging in the back of your head. “And don’t be jealous that my needs get satisfied every night, I bet your husbands will keep up eventually.”

-

You know that ignoring Jake’s calls wouldn’t be a good idea, but you didn’t think that he would turn up at your doorstep at 10 pm shortly before you were heading to bed.

You spent the past days thinking about your situation, about your relationship with Jake and your and Nuri’s future. Over and over again did you go through all the solutions in your head, trying to figure out what’s right for you, what you want. Because for once, just one time in your life, you have to think about yourself, what you need.

You thought that it wouldn’t take long for Jake to turn up at your doorstep, but seeing him standing in front of you, hair messy, cheeks tinted in a soft red and a worried look on his face, makes you want to change your mind all over again.

“Hey.”, he says, showing you a forced smile. “Are you okay? I was worried. You’ve been ignoring my calls. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that hurt you? Because if I did then please tell me so I can make it up to you again. I swear the last thing I want is to lose you, but I can’t make it up to you if you don’t talk to me, if you don’t tell me what I did to make you shut me out.” There is an urgency in his voice, pain lingering in his words. You haven’t thought about what the past few days must have felt like for Jake, too caught up in your own head. He tried to call you multiple times and got disappointed every time you didn’t pick up yet again. It must have been torture for him not knowing if he did something wrong, not knowing the reason behind your sudden radio silence.

Looking at him like this, worried and distressed, tears fall down your face almost immediately. “Oh, baby.”, Jake softly coos. Carefully he takes a step towards you and as he notices that you make no move away from him, he pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly against his chest. “Please talk to me, Y/n. Please tell me what’s going on.”

You clear your throat, shakily wiping away the tears on your face. “I don’t want to hurt you, Jake. Please, you have to believe me that that is the last thing I ever want to do. I love you, so much. Sometimes it scares me just how much I do, but lately I’ve been realizing that I am not ready. I am not ready for this, not ready for a relationship. There is so much in my life that I need to fix, so much about myself that I need to fix. I still haven’t lived, you know? I don’t know what it is to actually live, to find myself, to know what I want and what I need. I have so much to learn. And I know that you would be by my side through whatever I am going through, supporting me and lending me a helping hand. But I realized that I need to do this alone. I need to fight through this on my own and grow from it. We are still so young, Jake, so much in our life can still happen and I don’t want you to get caught up in all of this. Especially since you’re moving away and starting a whole new chapter in your life.”

There is a beat of silence, a few seconds where everything is quiet. You only hear your own heart beating out of your chest. Jake wipes at his eyes, one, two times before he nods, slow and steady. “Okay.”, he whispers. Silence again. It’s like Jake is fighting with himself, having an inner conflict, he doesn’t want to share with you. He blows out a long breath, rubbing a hand over his face before looking back at you. His eyes red from the unshed tears.

“Okay, Y/n.”, he repeats again, blinking a few times. “Everything inside of myself is screaming for me to fight for you right now, to tell you that we can work this out and fix those things together. But I know you, and I know that once you made up your mind about something, no one can change that again.” He sighs another time, long and hard. “So, I will let you go. For now, at least. As you said, we are still young. This may be our end now, Y/n, but it won’t be our end forever. I will never give up on you. Someday, I will find you again. Someday, I will make you mine again.” Jake cups one of your cheeks in his hands, gently letting his thumb caress your soft skin. One small tear drops down his face, that is the only one he allows to escape, before he softly places a kiss on your lips. It is not a long kiss, not the type of kiss that leaves you breathless, yearning for more. It’s the type of kiss that is so soft, you wonder if it even happened after it’s over. It’s the type of kiss that rips you open from the inside, tears your heart out and leaves you bleeding out. It’s the type of kiss that makes you want to turn back time and fix all the mistakes you made in your life.

It's the type of kiss that makes you hope for a tomorrow, for a forever.

-

There is nothing you love more than a warm autumn day, watching the leaves fall down the trees, coloring the ground in bright orange and brown shades, or feeling the cold breeze in your hair. You love listening to the rustle of the trees, watching squirrels searching for nuts on the ground and tasting the fresh air on your tongue.

But what you love the most is sitting on a park bench, not one person in sight, with a book in your hand. It has become your favorite activity over the past few years. You read books like it is your job, finally having the time with Nuri almost being eleven years old. It became your little break from reality, something to look forward to on stressful days, something that would ease your mind.

Looking at the watch on your wrist, you realize that it’s almost time to pick Nuri up from her friends’ place, since you promised her to go visit uncle Sunghoon who lives a few streets from you. You put your book back into your bag, swinging it over your shoulder and standing up from where you were sitting to head to your car. But before you could even take one step, you stop in your tracks.

It's been years, you realize. Years since you’ve seen that familiar face. Years since you last hugged him, touched him, kissed him. Years since you heard his voice, seen his face. You almost can’t believe your eyes, thinking that your mind is playing a trick on you. But when you hear him speak for the first time, in what felt like forever, you know that this is real.

“Sunghoon told me I would find you hear.” He steps forward, not stopping until he is right in front of you. His wide, puppy like eyes, look down at you, lips pulled into a wide grin, as he takes the shock on your face. “Hey, Y/n.”

And that’s when it hits you. All the promises he made about not letting you go about making you his again. Now, years later, with everything different, he still intended on making all his promises come true. And you realize that it’s perfect. Right now, it’s perfect. Right now, you can start your forever.

“Hey, Jake.”

Bonus scene

You lean back in the chair on the front porch of the summer house you rented for you and the boys and watch the way Nuri teaches the other kids how to draw a butterfly with chalk. It’s a strange sight to see, Nuri all grown up, taking care of all the small little children. It makes a deep feeling of pride blossom in your chest, admiring just how far you have come.

“It’s crazy, isn’t it?”, Jake speaks up from the seat beside you. “Just how fast the time passes.”

You let your gaze wander to him, to his perfect face with his perfect eyes and perfect lips. He looks older now, more mature. But it is a good look on him. It suits you perfectly.

“It is.”, you say, letting out a soft side before leaning your back against Jakes chest, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. “But I am so grateful for this. I am so grateful we get to watch the boys’ kids grow up. I am so grateful I get see Nuri so happy and content. And I am so happy I can be with you, Jake.”

“Forever?”, he asks, eyes looking deeply into yours and a soft smile, that is only dedicated to you.

“Forever.”, you answer his question, and you have never been more honest in your whole life.

#recs ⁝ sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

DENiALㅤ. . .ㅤ﹫ park sunghoon ★

꒰ 📒 ꒱ park sunghoon & fem reader. ㅤg fluff, comedy, college au, situationship, smau oneshot. ㅤw pet names, kissing, drinking, jealousy, cursing, mentions of death & violence. both hoon & the mc call K by his last name.ㅤlibrary

⠀ ⠀ SOOV © 2O23

ㅤ𝗿𝗲𝗶’s notes ⪩⪨ hoon brainrot goes hard!!!!

#recs ⁝ park sunghoon #park sunghoon ⁝ texts

[jaeyunwrld]

hey, heeseung! - lhs series masterlist

"hey heeseung, i know looks can be deceiving but i know i saw a light in you / and as we walked we were talking and i didn't say half the things i wanted to" - hey stephen by taylor swift

part of the 100 kisses event

pairing. best friend's brother!heeseung x fem!reader

synopsis. Heeseung comes back from his first year of university a new man - forget nervous, fidgety, dorky Heeseung and say hello to confident, teasing, flirty Heeseung. This change of attitude doesn’t help your longstanding crush on your best friend’s brother, and neither does the rising tension between the two of you - a tension that is bound to explode.

genre. 3-part series, fluff, smut (mdni), angst that will be quickly resolved, half nerd half bad boy heeseung

part 1. gorgeous - 8.1k - 45 “we shouldn’t do this” but they do so anyway

part 2. our secret moments - 24.2k - 4 breaking the kiss, your lover instantly pressing their lips back to yours + 26 "i was supposed to take a shower, alone, but go ahead jump right in" + 19 "if we're caught kissing we're most likely dead but let's risk it"

part 3. dancing in a snow globe - 5.8k - 78 pushing your lover onto the bed, kissing down their stomach

series taglist: @doll4hoon @pshchives @jakelux @hoonslutt @jainandan @wntrnghts @enhastolemyheart @mymeloem19 @qkxaya @pussymastere @jak3sgf @woahsehun @inniessick @fakeuwus

let me know if you'd like to be added to the series taglist or to my permanent taglist! © asahicore on tumblr, 2023. please do not repost, translate or plagiarize my works. reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!

#recs ⁝ lee heeseung #lee heeseung ⁝ fics #THIS IS SO CUTE #LIKE HELLOOOO the pining and the hesitance #i reread this so many times im still not bored😊 #like i love downbad heeseung so much #and every scene was described so well too

[jaeyunwrld]

the long way home

SUMMARY. In which Park Sunghoon decides that nothing is more important than having you in his life.

PAIRING. sunghoon x y/n ft jake

GENRE. high school au, fluff, angst

WORD COUNT. 4.8k

RELEASED. 11.05.2023

AUTHOR'S NOTE. feedback is appreciated! experimented with writing style so sorry if this is bad and makes no sense 💔 enjoy 🙏

masterlist

"Two cotton candies, please."

The first time Park Sunghoon speaks to you, you're dressed head-to-toe in a blinding, neon pink.

The fundraiser uniform was your co-president's idea. She'd suggested it offhandedly in a delirious, late-night planning session, and in a rather unserious fashion, you'd agreed. It's hilarity overruled any embarrassment bundled with it.

When Park Sunghoon is the one standing in front of you, embarrassment crashes into you with the force of an eighteen wheeler.

His presence is overwhelming. It looms over you as you prepare his order. It sends a shiver down your spine, which is absurd when you've never even met him.

Someone could tell you that Sunghoon lives on a completely separate plane of existence and you'd believe them without thinking twice.

He's the basketball team's star player. He adorns the number twenty-three with poise and grace. He's the principal actor in people's dreams and fantasies.

To you, Park Sunghoon is like the moon.

Beautiful, and so, so far away.

The two cotton candies you hand him are less than perfect. Without much thought, a mumbled apology falls from your lips. He still accepts them with a polite smile. It sends a nervous jolt to your chest.

You watch him as he walks away and joins Jake Sim's side, handing him one of the cotton candies.

You know Jake Sim from your physics class. He catches your eye and sends you a friendly wave. You shoot him one back before hastily turning around.

A second later and you would have noticed Sunghoon's gaze, lingering.

Tuesday after school, Sunghoon agrees to meet with Jay and Jake in the East Wing.

He leans against a locker, watching his two friends bicker with each other. Occasionally cracking a smile when one of them says something particularly nonsensical.

Someone rushes past him. His breath hitches. Gaze flickering. When they stop in front of a classroom door, Sunghoon realizes it's you.

You knock on the door. While you wait, he takes you in.

The way your yellow sundress hugs your body in all of the right places. The way the pearl barrettes clipped to your hair reflect the afternoon sun. The way you tug the sleeves of your cardigan down over your hands. Sunghoon has the urge to roll them back up and interlock his fingers with yours.

Each second Sunghoon spends taking you in, his chest grows tighter.

The metal behind him is suddenly freezing to the touch. It bleeds through the fabric of his shirt. Pierces his shoulder blades. Is he shivering? He doesn't know.

The classroom door is opened. Another girl appears in the threshold, an easy smile on her face. The two of you exchange words before breaking out into giggles.

Park Sunghoon takes notice of you.

There’s a part of him that finds it unbelievable that he hadn’t done it earlier. There’s another that is deeply unsettled about it happening at all.

Either way, he takes great care in memorizing the outline of your figure. Grasping onto each note of your laughter.

Sunghoon bails on this week's team outing. His reason is that he has an important language arts assignment due at 11:59PM.

He isn't lying. His teacher had carved the words ‘no excuses’ into the very core of his being.

When the words on his page start looking like globs of nonsense, Sunghoon’s mind drifts.

The basketball season begins soon. Who is the first game against?

He searches up the school website intending to find the season schedule.

He pauses when he sees a photo of you.

It’s from the other day. The same day Sunghoon saw you in that pretty sundress. You’re watching the other people in the photo strike funny poses with a soft, tender smile on your lips.

The list of names goes left to right, top to bottom. Sunghoon’s eyes dart around.

L/N Y/N.

That night, Sunghoon has an important language arts assignment due at 11:59PM. His teacher had carved the words ‘no excuses’ into the very core of his being.

That night, Sunghoon spends his time learning about you.

Curiosity spared no mercy for the cat. You pray it's kinder to you.

There are three other water fountains located around the school, all perfectly capable of refilling your water bottle. Yet, their existence escapes you when you realize the person using the one you'd chosen to go to is Park Sunghoon.

You try to leave. You can't. His presence binds the soles of your feet to the tiles of the floor.

The first game of the season is a few, short weeks away. The air is full of the distant screeching of basketballs. Sunghoon's hair is damp with sweat. His arms and nape glisten under the fluorescent lighting.

Sunghoon's lips leave the jet of water. A loud exhale follows. You watch as he wipes harshly at the corners of his mouth.

When he turns around, his eyes widen. He looks surprised to see you.

Why wouldn't he? The two of you are strangers. Mutuals, at best.

Yet, he doesn't move from his spot. He doesn't cast his eyes away or walk past you.

His stare is heavy. You feel like he's peering into your soul. Judging it. Tearing it to shreds.

He silently moves to the side. You realize he's making way for you to use the fountain. Embarrassment floods your system.

The sound of running water ceases when your foot lifts off the pedal. A double twist ensures the cap of your bottle is screwed shut. You're set to leave.

But a hand encircles your wrist, stopping you. Spinning you around.

You're inches away from Park Sunghoon.

You're shocked.

You don't tug away.

Your eyes dart around his face, searching for an explanation. His expression is indecipherable. He suddenly won't meet your gaze, only unravelling your closed fist with gentle fingers.

You notice a slip of paper clasped in his hold. You watch it as he places it into your open palm.

His voice is near silent. Words evaporating when they leave his lips and hit air. You manage to catch them before they're completely gone.

"Call me."

When Sunghoon is sure the slip is securely slotted in your hand, he leaves.

There is an unfathomable amount of things Sunghoon's worried about. You throwing his number away. Laughing at him. Thinking he's a freak.

But in the deepest part of his brain, where he keeps his muscle memory of how to ride a bike or snap his fingers, the voice of his first ever coach resounds; something about missing one hundred percent of the shots he never takes. Sunghoon thinks he's heard it more in his lifetime than he's heard his own name.

It dawns on him that you being in his life, as even just the smallest of features, was not a shot he was willing to ruin.

You call Sunghoon at a quarter past midnight.

The clock on your wall ticks loudly, mocking you for taking so long.

You don't expect him to pick up at all. You don't need him to. Hearing his voicemail would be enough to assure you that what had happened was real. That it wasn't a figment of your imagination.

Park Sunghoon had left you paralyzed. All of your work had been neglected because of that crinkled slip of paper.

It's been on the edge of your desk for hours. It taunts you.

When you will yourself to call him, you had climbed onto your bed. The slip of paper stayed on your desk, untouched.

You didn't need it to call him. The digits of his phone number were already engraved in your head from how many times you thumbed over them on the way home from school.

The line rings. Once. Twice. Three times.

"Hello?"

You finally breathe.

"Sunghoon?"

A pause. Shuffling sounds from the receiver. "Y/N?"

"You told me to call you."

"I'm happy you did."

You hear the sound of birds singing.

You wonder if it's coming from outside or the other end of the line.

"Sunghoon?"

"Mm?"

"It's nearly six. We have school soon."

A huff. "Shit."

You break out into a smile.

Sunghoon makes hours feel like seconds. Conversation flows between the two of you with the ease of changing seasons. You don't think you could ever grow tired of listening to his voice.

There's a certain playful lilt to it. Teasing, yet kind. Each syllable spoken with a gentleness you can't quite grasp. Each boyish laugh that leaves his lips sweeping you off your feet. When periods of silence dotted your conversations, his slow breaths filled them in.

He had yawned, here and there. You told him to go to sleep. He refused. You didn't protest. Selfishly, you wanted to have him for a bit longer.

You can't discern what about him makes your insides turn upside down. He makes you feel vulnerable. All he'd have to do is ask and you'd be willing to bare your soul to him.

You decide you're okay with that.

"Y/N?"

"Yes?"

"Talk to you soon?"

"Yeah."

Your friendship with Sunghoon is a quiet one.

It's found behind small actions that seem to communicate everything.

Candies slipped into lockers. Split-second eye contact in the halls. Candid photos of each other in the courtyard. Your eyes searching the cluster of players during games from above, his searching each row of the bleachers from on the court.

It's hidden away from prying eyes, and that makes you cherish it even more.

At the first game of the season, Park Sunghoon scores a tie-breaking basket just as the countdown hit zero.

The gymnasium erupts into a thundering ovation. His teammates roar with victory. Tackling him to the ground. Clapping him on the back. Hoisting him into the air, tossing him up. Your heart lurches at the absolutely radiant smile on his face.

Chants of his name fill the entire venue. The commentator's voice booms through the speakers. Ladies and gentlemen, number twenty-three: Park Sunghoon.

You silently watch the scene, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

The difference between the intensity of a crowd and the stillness of the night air is jarring.

Park Sunghoon confuses you. You don't know how he has the opportunity or the desire to meet you after the game. He should be out with his teammates celebrating.

Instead, you receive a message to wait by the West gate.

Tonight is colder than usual. Icy wind grazes your bare knees. As you wait, anticipation knocks at your front door. You let it in when you catch sight of Sunghoon making his way towards you, a golden medal dangling from his neck.

He's glowing. Victory looks good on him.

A gasp escapes you when your feet leave the ground. Sunghoon spins you around in his arms, adorable giggles falling from his lips. Blissful warmth sprawls across your chest, seeping in every crevice.

"Tonight's MVP and you still have time to spare for me?" you tease, eyes shining.

"I have all the time in the world for you."

Sunghoon recounts the game with fervor. Galaxies swirl in his irises. You wonder if you'd ever feel as elated as he looks.

When he embraces you again, head slotting into the crook of your neck, holding you like he never wants to let go, your wonders are answered.

Park Sunghoon does not idle.

He walks with a destination in mind. He gives courteous greetings to those who he passes by in the halls, but his movements never stop.

The only thing Sunghoon willingly stops for is the sunset.

On days where he leaves school late, he takes the long way home. Down a street lined with yellow ginkgo trees, a left turn too early. Across the bridge bound for the city centre.

The long way home never really takes him home.

Sunghoon ends up on a pier in the harbour, letting vermillion and marigold rays of warmth soak into each pore of his skin. Unwinding with a low puff of air.

Recently, Sunghoon stops for you, too.

Whenever he sees you, there's a stutter in his strides. A stiffness in his fingers. A clog in his airway. The world around him starts to spin, yet he himself freezes.

The next time Sunghoon takes the long way home, he stays with the sunset for longer than usual. He sits instead of standing, letting his feet dangle off of the pier's edge. It makes the sloshing sound of the water below him even clearer.

Sunghoon closes his eyes. He inhales the salty, sweet air. Feels his teammates hugging him. Hears hundreds of people chanting his name.

Sunghoon closes his eyes, and sees you.

It takes ten games for defeat to seize Sunghoon by the throat.

Under the dim light of the locker room, Jake eyes his friend warily. He searches for any sign of emotion in the lines of his stone cold face. If he didn't know him any better, he'd believe he's simply reserved.

But Jake Sim has spent too much time uncovering Park Sunghoon to be ignorant to his character.

He’s torturing himself.

"Jay," Jake whispers. Caution laces his voice. "I feel like we should do something."

Jay's eyes flit over Sunghoon's figure. The air is heavy before he responds.

"I think it’s best we don’t pry."

When the sound of their steps fade away, Park Sunghoon drives his fist into a locker door.

He knew something was off. When their score plateaued while the opposition's climbed. Frowns painted themselves on his teammates' faces. Shots kept getting fumbled. Intercepted. Rolling off the rim.

Sunghoon feels his knuckles throb as he lets his hand fall to the side.

Anger and guilt are a dangerous pairing. They swirl in the pit of his stomach like a storm and render him feeling weak.

He hates how badly he's taking this.

"Sunghoon!"

Peace of mind reaches out to him in the form of anxious footsteps.

From around the wall, you appear. Worry taints your features. It's a blow to the stomach for him. "I- I was waiting for you outside but I heard a noise-"

In two urgent strides, Park Sunghoon's lips are on yours.

Time pauses. Uncertainty hangs in the air. Sunghoon is racing at a million miles an hour.

When he feels you kissing back, he crashes.

Anger and guilt are a dangerous pairing. They join forces and leave desperation in their wake.

Sunghoon kisses you harder. He wants you to fill in all of the parts that feel empty. He wants you to help him feel whole.

You're pliant under his fingers, back slightly arching whenever he squeezes your waist. Sunghoon revels in the gasp that leaves your mouth when his hands slide under your shirt and paint landscapes on the expanse of your back. It's music to his ears. He records it in his mind before drowning it out with another searing kiss.

When you part to catch your breath, your forehead instantly presses to his. Chasing his touch, craving more of his skin against yours.

You look up at Sunghoon. His eyes are downcast to the floor. He feels your hand travel up to his hair, gently pulling on it. A silent plead.

He doesn't meet your gaze. He's floating. Adrift at a lawless sea. His palms continue to rub up and down your sides.

Sunghoon doesn't know how long the two of you spend in each other's arms. He doesn't want to know. Knowing would define a beginning and an end.

Sunghoon never wants this to end.

Seven days.

It's been seven days since Park Sunghoon last spoke to you.

With the way he walks past you without a mere glance, you wonder if what happened was even real.

But, you can still feel it. You can still feel him.

He had kissed you in that locker room. He had stolen the air from your lungs and never returned it. His scorching hands had burned themselves into your skin.

You pass him in the hall wordlessly. That's how it's always been, except there's no more eye contact that asks silent questions of 'How are you?" and speaks delicate words of "I'm happy to see you today."

Every one of your waking hours is spent wondering what went wrong.

You begin to neglect assignments and reject invitations to go out. Teachers eye you with concern. Friends ask if you've been feeling off. Everyone spares you a glance and a hushed whisper, except Sunghoon.

A frustrated hand cards through your hair.

Do you consume his mind as much as he consumes yours?

The hateful part of you prays it does. Prays that he's getting a taste of his own, cruel medicine.

When you lie in bed, you peer out of your window. The moon glows as brightly as ever. Oblivious to your broken resolve.

To you, Park Sunghoon had always been like the moon. Beautiful, and so, so far away.

Except, for once, he didn't.

He didn't feel so far away when his lips were on yours, hands roaming your bare back, rough fingertips grazing your sides. When your breathing had mixed into one exchange. He'd felt so, so close.

If only you knew he was going to be out of reach again so quickly.

For someone who's ranked 230th out of 239 students, Jake Sim is exceptionally sharp.

With a gentle tug aside to an empty classroom, he asks you the question you've lost nights worth of sleep over in a single, easy breath.

"What's going on between you and Sunghoon?"

You shift uncomfortably in your spot. The straps of your bag were suddenly too tight, suffocating you.

You take your time loosening them. Jake only watches you silently.

You're exploiting his patience. Trying to dodge the inevitable. But, what can you do? Confrontation frightens you to no end.

You choose the easy way out: you tell a bad lie.

"Nothing's going on between Sunghoon and I. What business could I possibly have with Park Sunghoon, of all people?"

Jake subtly rolls his eyes. He can tell that you don't even believe your own words.

"I might've believed you if I hadn't seen the way you look at him in the hall, Y/N. I can tell Sunghoon's been off, too. He's all tensed up."

For a second, you rejoice. You haven't been the only one losing yourself to blurred lines and longing.

When that second is over, emptiness settles back into you. "I see."

"I didn't know the two of you knew each other," Jake muses innocently.

It takes all of your strength to turn away from him and grasp the door handle.

"We don't."

Desperation doesn't overpower fear. Fear is still there as you march up to Park Sunghoon's table in the cafeteria.

You just simply cannot take it anymore.

Jake notices you before Sunghoon does. He isn't any closer to discovering what had happened between the two of you. Your entire relation leaves him at a loss.

But, he can tell by the way the smile you flash him in greeting doesn't reach your eyes. The way your gaze immediately falls back onto Sunghoon with melancholy.

You're tired.

Lightly, he kicks Sunghoon in the shin. Jake ignores the glare he receives, only nodding his head towards you. He's praying he's done you a favour.

For the first time in weeks, Park Sunghoon looks you in the eye.

His silence stifles the rest of the table. Their attention weighs heavy on your shoulders.

Fear looms much closer and higher than before. Fear is about to pinch your nose until you pass out cold.

"Sunghoon."

His name is already bitter on your tongue. Is it from all the times you've cursed it in your head?

He stares at you before redirecting his gaze to his food. Like you're some sort of eyesore.

Fear drops to the ground, dead.

"Park Sunghoon, what is your problem?"

Whispers surround you. Chills travel the length of your spine.

You think back to your brief conversation with Jake. How you had said there was nothing happening between you and Sunghoon, and how evident it now is that all of that was bullshit.

But now, you couldn't care if the whole universe is privy to you and Sunghoon's relationship.

All you want is to know is what realization he had. In this moment, you're desperate to realize it too.

"When will you cut the shit?"

Silence. A fork scraps against a plate.

"You know, Sunghoon. I've thought many things of you. How could I not? The school's star athlete who has everyone at his feet."

A dry laugh, a nervous glance to the side.

"You had me, too."

Sunghoon's knuckles turn white from how harshly he grips his fork.

"Never did I think of you to be a coward."

The sound of your steps bounce off the walls. Every pair of eyes in the room trails behind you, this time, including Sunghoon's.

His brain is a broken record machine. Replaying your words again, again, and again.

What is Park Sunghoon so... afraid of?

What is he so defenseless against that it's worth seeing the lights in your eyes die?

Sunghoon doesn't know what compels him to ignore you. To walk past you each day, as if you didn't convince him that happiness doesn't exist anywhere except for in your arms.

Perhaps, it's that you are a whirlwind of unfamiliarity. An onslaught of foreign emotions. You make him unsure of what to do with himself. Perhaps he finds it easier to avoid that than to approach it.

He's been so adept at pushing it away, that he doesn't realize you're slipping through his fingers until his head is an echo chamber of your words.

He had you.

"Sunghoon..." A voice cuts through the fog. Sunghoon isn't sure which of his friends it belongs to. From the intonation, he assumes that it's Jake.

"Whatever this is, you've got to fix it."

Sunghoon has listened to your voicemail play six times. He's been trying for an answer, yet he doesn't mind dialling for a seventh.

You sound happy in your voicemail. He never wants to forget what you sound like happy.

"H-Hello?"

Sunghoon's been lingering at the summit of a cliff. Carefully composing himself to avoid slipping off the edge.

When he hears how utterly broken your voice is, suddenly, he's plummeting.

"Sunghoon?"

Falling, falling, falling—

A sniffle, followed by an impatient sigh. "Sunghoon, if you're just going to waste my time-"

"I'm outside."

Sunghoon closes his eyes. He sees the ridges and lines of your front door. He thinks they're permanently printed into his eyelids from how long he's been standing on your doorstep.

Don't hang up. Don't hang up.

"What?"

Sunghoon opens his eyes.

"I'm outside your door."

In his peripheral, the curtains of a window crack open. His heartbeat reaches his ears. You don't question him any further, but he hears distant footsteps from your end of the line.

The front door opens, then stops. Ajar. Hesitating.

Sunghoon knows you're on the other side. He prays you don't retract your movements.

You don't. You push through.

When you appear in the doorway, his breath dies in his throat.

Slightly bloodshot eyes. Strands of hair astray, haphazardly held together with a claw clip. A large sweatshirt swallowing your frame.

Sunghoon doesn't think he's ever seen anyone as beautiful as you.

He should've spoken by now. He'd planned on speaking by now, yet all he can do is look at you. Eyes trailing over every delicate curve. The slope of your nose, the moles on your hands.

When he hears the small sigh leave your lips, he knows you're slipping away.

His brain goes into overdrive. He needs to act fast.

Frantically, he clears his throat.

"Come watch the sunset with me."

A breeze blows by. The neighbour's wind chimes knock together, playing a soft jingle.

"Please."

The only words you speak to Sunghoon on the bus are to ask where you're going.

He tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, remaining silent.

You close your eyes. Surrendering. You're so sick of his silence.

You shouldn't have come. You're stupid to have believed otherwise—

"Don't."

Eyes snap open.

You turn to look at Sunghoon. You find that he's already looking at you.

"Don't- don't regret this," he pleads. Desperation pours from his voice. You would've scoffed if he wasn't wearing the rawest expression you've lived to see.

Park Sunghoon leaves you in despair.

No matter which lens you look at him through, he has no solution. He's wrung you dry of hope, yet you don't find yourself objecting when he brings your head onto his shoulder. His hastiness screams craving for proximity. Craving for reassurance.

Deep down, you know you're just the same.

You let Sleep take you.

It's the soundest you've slept in weeks.

You've seen the sunset thousands of times in your life.

From every place you've ever been. School grounds. Your bedroom. The drive home. Through the eyes of others.

And yet, none of those thousands of times hold a candle to the sight from the pier.

"It's beautiful," you breathe out.

A small hum in agreement. You smile weakly.

You know he isn't looking at the sunset, but you don't face him just yet.

"Sunghoon?"

He steps closer.

"What happened?"

You can feel him stiffen. Your eyes never tear from the vermillion sky. You're not sure if you're paralyzed by beauty, or by fear.

A head drops onto your shoulder. Its weight is comforting. Slowly, he readjusts himself to stand in front of you. Face pressing into your neck. Hands wrapping around your waist, holding on like you'd disappear if he let go.

His body shakes with each breath. It takes every bit of your resolve to not wrap your arms around him.

You let Park Sunghoon cry on your shoulder.

You don't think you'd ever deny him of it.

The sun doesn't budge from where it sits in the sky. It seems to be waiting for the two of you.

When Sunghoon peels his face away from you, you finally look at him. You can feel your heart fall apart in your chest.

Park Sunghoon is more beautiful than any sunset you'll ever see.

A careful hand reaches up. It barely rests against his jaw. You nearly chuckle at how he instantly leans into your touch.

He's staring at you through half-lidded eyes. Slightly parted lips. A gaze filled with longing, remorse, and a million unspoken words.

He leans in, nose brushing against yours. Before he can mouth the words he wants to say, you meet him half way.

The kiss is slow. Delicate. Fragile. Sunghoon is too scared to treat you as anything less.

It lacks the hunger of the one before. Your body is pulled flush against his. He's trying to convey thousands of apologies all at once. Hoping his sincerity can penetrate your skin, travel through your veins, and reach your soul. The way he's kissing you is heart-wrenching.

"I-" he gasps when you part. "Please. Please forgive me."

"Come back to me," you croak. "Why did you shut me out?"

He presses kisses to your jaw, then to your cheek. His hands slide up to your cup your face.

"Because I love you."

You close your eyes. Soaking in each sacred word that falls from his lips. Shuddering.

You feel like crying.

"I love you so much that I don't know what to do with myself. With you, nothing feels real. Time stops ticking. Everyone else fades into oblivion, and I feel like I'm on top of the fucking world," he whispers, voice wet and rushed.

Your forehead connects with his. A gentle rhythm is tapped onto his nape with the intention of calming him down.

"I've never felt like this before. I- I just-"

Sunghoon's face twists. He's fighting against his emotions.

You watch as he deflates.

"Please... find it in your heart to forgive me."

A small smile graces your face.

Under the glow of the setting sun, everything is okay.

"Stop staring at me like that."

Sunghoon peers up at you from your lap. His face glows golden.

A mischievous smile appears on his face. It infects you like a virus.

"Is it illegal for me to admire my girlfriend?"

"Yes." You shoot him with a finger gun. "Hands up."

Soft laughter fills your ears. You let Sunghoon pull you down into a gentle, loving kiss.

You'd let him do it for all of eternity.

To you, Park Sunghoon is like the moon. Beautiful, and so, so far away.

Now, you think Park Sunghoon is more like the setting sun.

Beautiful, and just on the way home.

#bro this fic is gorgeous #DESERVES SO MUCH MORE #I SWEARRR EVERYTHING IS SO PERFECT IN THIS FIC #ANGST OH MY GOD I LOVE ANGST #recs ⁝ park sunghoon #park sunghoon ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

enha hyung line when you go for another idol's fansign !

a/n. heavily inspired by that fansign of op asking members about what they'd allow their so to do 😊 (edit: wow this is blowing up so while im here, shameless promo!!! i have other text works on this acc and also a main that has even more works aka @jaeminri ‼️)

© JAEYUNWRLD, 2023

#enhypen #enhypen texts #enhypen smau #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #heeseung x you #heeseung x reader #heeseung x y/n #heeseung texts #jay texts #jay x y/n #jay x reader #jay x you #jake x you #jake x reader #jake x y/n #jake texts #sunghoon x you #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon x y/n #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon

[jaeyunwrld]

i don't want you to go to bed, mad at me

pairing: jake x reader word count: 2.2k type: angst, fluff. synopsis: in the middle of an argument, you want to go to sleep— but jake refuses for either of you to go to bed feeling mad at one another. warnings: slight arguing, mentions of breaking up, jake being the sweetest guy he is, there’s no specific mention of the reason why the argument started, overthinking, reassurance, comfort, lmk if there’s more i shld add

make sure to listen to this song as you read. it is the song that the story is based on. [ mad by ne-yo ] (rlly sets the mood, ngl)

Before you and Jake started dating, there has always been one established rule that the both of you agreed on. Never go to bed mad at the other. Always resolve and communicate about your problems before going to sleep. Never leave it for the next day.

It remained consistent, until tonight. For the first time in your four-year-long relationship, you think you can’t follow that rule as the millionth yawn leaves your lips in the middle of an argument.

Jake sat on the couch; his face buried in his hands as he heaved a sigh again. No words were shared, and the silence between the both of you was deafening. After yelling over each other for nearly 20 minutes straight, you figured it was stupid to open your mouth again— knowing it’d lead to another screaming match.

Seated on the other couch, you found yourself fidgeting with the bracelet on your wrist. “This isn’t working, we’re going back and forth.” You tell him, tone different from the one you used earlier. He looks at you, shoulders slumping. “Well, if you’d just listen to me, we would be done with this.”

“Jake, you won’t even listen to me.” Tightness is evident in your eyes and voice as you look at him. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “This is so stupid.” He muttered under his breath, and you could barely hear it. But you do.

“Well, I’m sorry if it’s so stupid, maybe, just like you said— if we weren’t trying to scream over each other, this would’ve been done an hour ago.” You tell him, trying to fight your drowsiness.

Jake looks at you when you say that, taking in the tone of your voice. Before he could open his mouth to speak, you rose from your seat on the couch, crossing your arms. “I’m going to bed,” You announce, the words leaving your mouth causing a small trigger of panic in your lover's mind.

“Y/n,” He gets up as well, trying to get you to look at him— not liking where this is going. You look down at your hands, “We both are tired. As much as I want to talk about this…” Your words trail off as you move towards the door frame between the living room and the hallway. “I think we need to cool off before we say anything too crazy.”

You don’t see it, but Jake’s expression falls as soon as those words leave your lips, and he curses to himself as you submerge into the hallway, away from his sight. “Fuck,” He sits back down, running a hand frustratingly through his hair.

After half an hour passed, you stood in front of the mirror, brushing your teeth after finishing your skincare routine. The door to the bathroom opened, and Jake had a pinched mouth as he moved past you, reaching for his toothbrush.

You quickly finished up brushing your teeth, refusing to be in the same room as him any longer— the silence killing you slowly. You refused to show him how vulnerable you are, choosing to avoid his eyes as you put your toothbrush away and trudged out of the bathroom.

As soon as you shut the bathroom door behind you, Jake stared at himself in the mirror. He hated every second of that silent treatment of yours, and he was determined to fix things before it could lead into the next day.

You were lying on your side of the bed, turned away from Jake’s. You feel the bed dip from behind you, and Jake doesn’t spare another second before talking to you. “I don’t want to go to bed. Not like this,” he tells you.

Your lip’s part, but no words leave your mouth.

“What about the rule?” He asks when you don’t give him a response. “What happened to not going to bed angry at one another?” He adds, desperation laced in his voice.

When those words leave his mouth, you can’t help but feel bad. It was a rule you both established, and agreed on— so this time, you take a minute to think of how to respond. But before anything, Jake unknowingly shuts those thoughts down as soon as he mumbles a short ‘good night’.

In defeat, you move carefully, turning to look at him. Only to be met by Jake’s back facing you, just like you had done to him.

Biting your lip, sadness crept into your body as you turned away once more— the tiredness in your body dissipating like it was never there to begin with. Still, you try to fight with your thoughts and attempt to go to sleep.

You looked at your phone for the nth time, watching time pass. It’s been 3 hours, and your restless attempts of going to sleep have gone nowhere. You fought internally with yourself and kept turning, looking towards Jake after you assumed he’d fallen asleep.

Your boyfriend’s back is still facing you, and your emotions get the best of you as tears well in your eyes— threatening to slip out. He fell asleep so easily.

After a couple more minutes, you blink your tears away and decide to text your best friend, knowing she would be up. Hey Ningning, can I come to sleep over?

Receiving a text message of confusion and follow-up of approval, you sit up from your spot— but before you make the move to get up, you look at your boyfriend once more. A frown settles on your face, looking at his ruffled hair pressed against his pillow. As much as you badly wanted to run your hands through it, you shook your head and looked back to your side of the bed, ready to get up.

“What are you doing?” Jake’s voice fills the silence of the room. You had no idea, but during that entire time you were stirring around— he did not get even a blink of sleep. He felt the bed shift whenever you’d turn to look at him, but when he felt the dip from your side rise, he knew you’d gotten up.

“I’m going to Ningning’s apartment.” You mumble, unable to look at him. Jake stills at this and sits up slowly when he processes your words. Your phone is swiped from your hands as quickly as you’d reach to grab it.

Going to bed pissed at one another is already a living hell for Jake, but you being pissed to the point where you feel like you can’t even sleep in the same bed as him? No. He had to do something. Quick.

You finally turn to look at Jake, “Jaeyun, give it back.” Your voice is small but desperate. It’s only then that you realize you can actually see your boyfriend, the moonlight slipping through the window perfectly structuring his facial features. “No.” He shook his head at you, putting your phone on his side.

“No?” You echo what he said, confused. “Not until we talk properly.” He exhales deeply, clearly tired from the past couple of hours.

Silence engulfs your bedroom, and you can’t bring yourself to respond to him anymore, thoughts filling your mind when the words ‘talk’ echo in your head. Talking could mean anything, you thought to yourself.

Jake takes in your silence, and he hates how quiet you’ve gotten. For some weird reason, he found himself wishing you’d just yell at him again, just like the both of you had been hours prior. But he could tell you were thinking again, and this time— you completely shut him out. And he hates that during times like these, he’s unable to read your thoughts like he usually can.

“Baby—”

“Are we breaking up?” You asked, voice shaking slightly. Jake’s facial expression drops almost immediately when those words leave your mouth, “What?” He lets out, tone heavily coated in disbelief.

A gasp leaves your lips, and you’re quick to bring a hand to your mouth when you realize you said that out loud. “Sorry,” you tell him, looking away. For once, you felt like you couldn’t look at your boyfriend. “I didn’t mean to say it out loud.”

“Holy shit.” Is all Jake could say for a couple of seconds, before looking at you like you’ve gone crazy. “Is that what you were thinking?” He asked you, hovering his other hand over arm as a signal to look at him. “That I want to break up?”

Hardly being able to speak correctly, you frown at him as soon as your eyes examine his soft gaze. “I thought…” You started, and his fingers unconsciously began to caress your hands. “I don’t know, it sounds like—”

“We are not breaking up,” He spoke softly when he cut you off, making you lie back in bed with him. You yelp and almost scold him before he continues.

“Yeah, we argued, and yeah, we said mean things to one another, but we are not breaking up.” He’s looking you in the eye, his other hand finding your waist— meaning to pull you closer towards him. “This is something we are working through together, it’s what will bring us closer.”

Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, and you desperately try to fight them— only to fail miserably when Jake smiles sadly at you. “I love you, Y/n. Fights and arguments are normal, and as long as we’re alright by the end of them— before we go to bed— I know I’ll love you even more as the next day comes by.”

You cry into his chest as he buries his face into your neck, almost like magnets as you press into each other’s warmth. “Talk to me, baby.” Jake spoke after a couple of minutes, desperate to hear your voice once more, “Just let me hear you.”

“Jaeyun,” Your voice sounds like a drawl, hardly above a whisper. “Jaeyun, I love you.” Is what leaves your lips, letting your fingers grasp onto Jake’s hoodie. “I hate it when we argue.”

He frowns, pulling back and looking you in the eye. “Me, too.” He spoke softly, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “We always want to be the one who’s right.”

“I don’t even remember what started this argument,” You give him a soft smile, and Jake’s pupils dilate at the sight. “I think it only got worse when I mentioned going to bed…”

Jake hums, “We were in the middle of arguing baby, I didn’t want you going to sleep mad at me.” He moves a strand of your hair behind your ear, staring at you. “I couldn’t even sleep.”

You give him a look of confusion, “But Yun,” You started, and you swear that his eyes brightened up at your usual nickname of endearment for him. “Yeah, baby?” He responds, his voice soft— urging you to continue.

“You were asleep… You stayed in one spot for three hours.” You mumble, head resting comfortably on his bicep, his hand landing on your waist as he tugged you closer.

“Baby, I was awake.” He tells you. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to turn around and take you into my arms.” He heaves a sigh, shaking his head at memory. He feels your body shake slightly, and Jake quirks an eyebrow. “Are you cryi—”

“I can’t believe you stayed still for three whole hours…” You laugh into his neck, your shoulders shaking. Jake lets out a breath of relief, all the tension leaving his body when he realizes you weren’t crying but laughing.

After a couple seconds, he finds himself laughing too, “Yeah, me too.”

You look at him for a couple seconds, and he seems to catch your gaze. “Hi,” He lets out, his voice sounding breathless. A soft smile forms on your lips, “Hi.” You responded in the same energy. “Everything’s okay between us, right?” You ask him, searching for reassurance.

“Because I’m honestly beginning to feel sleepy.” You mumble groggily, throwing an arm around his body.

Jake stares at you for a couple of seconds, before pressing his lips on yours. You’re taken aback for a couple seconds, but quickly melt into the kiss when he pulls you closer.

You two kiss for a while, and Jake pulls away to let you catch your breath. He smiles against your lips, “Yeah, everything’s okay. Everything’s perfect, baby.” He says it twice, to let it sink in your head that it’s okay. That you two will be perfectly fine tomorrow morning. Jake grins, “We can sleep now.” He spoke softly as your eyes fluttered close. “Good night, Y/n. I'll be right here when you wake up in the morning."

“Good night, Yun. See you.”

copyright © eneiyri 2023 a/n: jake brain rot but when am i not

#recs ⁝ sim jaeyun #sim jaeyun ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

Whispers From My Heart (pt.2) - Won (양정원)

Do you believe in fate? If you were asked this question 2 years ago, you would've said no. But now, you're not so sure. ꒰ wc: 5.5k ꒱

[pairing] brother's best friend! jungwon x fem! reader [genre] brother's best friend trope, unrequited love, coming-of-age, fluff, slow burn [warnings] cursing

read part 1 here

your bookshelf 📓✧˖°.

“I have a secret.”

〰

When people think about their job, the first things that come to mind are their demanding boss, the clock on the wall that drags on, and that coworker who always gossips and never works. To sum it all up: stress.

But it was different for Jungwon. 

While people around him would hate having to wake up at 6 am every day to get ready and drive to work in the heavy, bumper-to-bumper traffic or have to get squashed against the window like sardines in a crowded train, Jungwon didn’t mind.

He loved getting up in the morning to water his plants, feed his Birman cat as she curled up around his ankle, and eat breakfast as he scrolled through the daily news. Most of all, he loved his job. 

Making desserts and pastries started as a way for Jungwon to take his mind off his family situation when he was younger. But as time went on, it evolved into something more than that. It became a hobby that eventually blossomed into a dream. 

He had been working at his current job for a little over a year now. It was a cute family-owned cafe near his old job that he came across one day while he was scarfing down his lunch on the side of the street. The sign on the door that read “hiring!” was practically screaming at Jungwon. 

He had been in desperate need to find a job since his monthly rent was almost due, and his last job was a total nightmare. Working 13-hour shifts, seven days a week, delivering food on a motorcycle proved too much for Jungwon. Paired with the constant mistreatment from his boss, making him work overtime with no compensation, and the difficult customers, it was too much to handle. 

The final straw for Jungwon was when a customer threw a scalding bowl of soup at Jungwon because he had gotten there too late. He had tried to explain that there had been an accident in the middle of the road and that was the reason for his delay. Not only did Jungwon get his clothes dirty and burnt, but his boss screamed at him for 30 minutes while he bowed continuously. The cost of the meal was even taken out of Jungwon’s hard-earned paycheck that could barely get him by.

Even though Jungwon desperately needed money, he had dignity and self-respect. So the next day, he called his boss, telling her that he was done. Enough was enough. 

Now his dream is to save up enough money to open his own cafe so that he can do the thing that he loves forever. 

Out of his right back pocket, Jungwon pulled out his phone to check the time, 6:31 am. Right on schedule, he had about ten more minutes before he had to walk to the nearby subway station to catch his train to work.

With a hint of hesitation, his finger hovered over the messaging app before giving in and tapping on it. He swiped down past his coworkers and boss, skipping over Sunoo’s name, and finally stopped. It hadn’t been long since he changed your contact from little sis to Y/N, although the alteration feels somewhat pointless since you had stopped replying to him or even reading his messages. But even still, he found himself lingering over your contact every single day. 

Today was no different. His message from 6 months ago was still left unread, much like with the 20 other messages before that. 

A sharp pang of disappointment jabs at his heart, he should be used to it now, but it never gets easier. 

Jungwon wondered what had happened. 

From what he remembered, you guys left on a good note. He never went back to your house to visit after he moved back to his hometown to take care of his family problems, but it wasn’t like he vanished without a word. He had called your family to deliver the news, and he remembers saying goodbye to you. But you only responded with an “Okay, take care.” 

Back then, Jungwon hadn’t thought anything of it, but now, thinking back, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he might have offended you in some way.

Over time, you had become a very close friend to him. You comforted him when his father was diagnosed with cancer. You showed genuine care and concern without any judgment about his background or circumstances and didn’t pity him like his other classmates. Your whole family was his savior, and it really saddened him that you two were no longer in contact. At some point, you had stopped replying to him, not even responding to his birthday or holiday wishes to you.

Jungwon accepted it, but he still found himself checking, just in case. 

〰

The walk to the subway today felt different. There was an indefinable shift in the atmosphere that Jungwon couldn’t quite put his finger on. Everything seemed a little brighter, and the people around him seemed a little happier. It’s like that feeling you have when it’s a national holiday, and everyone is excited to participate in the festivities of the season. 

But today was no holiday. It was a weird feeling, but Jungwon shook it off and continued walking towards the subway station. 

It was a normal occurrence for the subway to be crowded with people, especially around 7 am, with everyone trying to get to work or school. 

But, yet again, today was different. If Jungwon moved one step to the left, he would accidentally step on the grandma next to him, or if he stepped back, he would step onto the wheels of a child stroller. 

The subway was jampacked, filled with the usual commuters hurrying to their destinations, but Jungwon also saw new faces. Ones that looked around, some in awe, while others in confusion. 

Jungwon turned to the elderly lady standing next to him and asked, “Good morning, Grandmother.” the older woman turned towards him slowly with a nod and a gentle smile, which Jungwon returned before continuing, “Do you happen to know what’s happening today? Why are there so many people?”

The grandmother’s face scrunched up in confusion, suggesting she might have a hard time hearing him, which prompted Jungwon to kindly repeat his question, leaning a bit closer this time to ensure she could hear him clearly.

“Ah! Yes! We’re having a conjoined parade with the city next to us because we recently helped them fix that one big bridge that broke…what was it called again?” The grandmother’s face once again scrunched up in confusion as she turned her brain inside out, trying to remember. “The…uhh…I’m afraid I don’t really remember,” she concluded, looking away while scratching her head. 

Jungwon smiles, offering a slight bow of gratitude to the kind lady before turning his attention back to the front. Now it made sense why there were so many people who looked confused. They’re probably lost. Jungwon would be, too, if he were stuck in the middle of a crowded subway in a new city. 

Amidst the hustle and bustle, the loudspeaker suddenly blared, a woman’s voice ringing through the station. Jungwon strained his neck to hear her announcement over the crowd.

“Train 2A arriving at station 3 at 6:57 am. Train 2A arriving at station 3 at 6:57 am.”

Jungwon heaved a sigh of relief as he moved with the crowd. They moved like currents in the ocean, pooling into the open doors. In the midst of the chaos, someone behind Jungwon accidentally stepped on the heel of his shoe, causing Jungwon to stumble slightly before finally crashing onto a seat by the window. 

Jungwon wraps his arm around his bag protectively as he settles in, ignoring the rest of the people still scrambling to find a seat. 

Looking out the window, Jungwon can see that the crowd had slightly dissipated a bit after the arrival of the train. Those who were once confused were now determined after finding out the way to their final destination. It was starting to look and feel like every other Tuesday morning. 

Resting his head against the cool glass window, Jungwon allows his gaze to drift downward, observing the passing scenery. The sound of the train doors closing signals its impending departure, and for a moment, the world outside appears to be in motion, just like his thoughts. 

Would things have turned out differently if he hadn’t looked up at that moment as the train was pulling away? Maybe someday in the future, he would’ve regretted this thing that he didn’t even know was about to happen.

But as fate would play out, Jungwon would lift his head up at the last moment. And the world around him seemed to slow to a crawl as he locked eyes with you. 

〰

“Do you believe in fate?”

If you were asked this question two years ago, you would’ve confidently said no. 

But as you stood amidst the bustling crowd, eagerly waiting for your train inside the subway station, your life took a drastic turn. You locked eyes with someone sitting on the train, and at that moment, everything changed. 

The encounter lasted a mere two seconds, but in that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still. As the train swiftly picked up speed and moved away, you couldn’t tear your eyes away, your mouth parting open in shock. There was no denying it; the boy staring back at you with wide eyes was undoubtedly Jungwon. He had the same innocent look on his face with his big round eyes and cute dimples. 

All of the feelings that you had carefully stored away in your heart came back to the surface the second you saw him again. It was like you never stopped loving him. 

Your heart felt heavy, and a flood of emotions washed over you like a tidal wave as you watched the train become smaller and smaller before finally disappearing from view. The impulse to chase after Jungwon tugged at you, but you quickly gave up that thought. There was no way you could outrun a train and get to the next stop before it. It also wasn’t guaranteed that Jungwon even recognized you. It had been two years. Even if he did recognize you, who’s to say he would get off on the next stop? The doubts and uncertainties weighed heavily on your thoughts, making your desire to pursue him seem utterly ridiculous. 

Plus, the thought of seeing Jungwon and approaching him again left you paralyzed. What would you even say to him after all this time? Admit that you purposely didn’t reply to his messages even though you read every single one over ten times? Maybe if you were stupid enough, you would even accidentally confess your love for him. The thought of that possibly happening made you cringe so hard; you’d rather finish your 20-page research paper on prehistoric art. 

You were a part of the crowd that was visiting for the day for the celebration. After hearing about this event, you finally had an excuse to be in Jungwon’s hometown. At least that’s what you convinced yourself. There were many times in the past when you were close to dropping everything and calling up Jungwon to meet up, but a part of you was always hesitant. And as time went on, it became harder. You lost a reason to even talk to him, let alone meet up and confess your feelings. 

A violent buzz in your pocket snaps you out of your daze. Your hand reaches into your pocket, pulling out your phone. Upon seeing the screen, you smile softly. The picture on the screen was taken 4 years ago when you were still 18, and Jungwon was 23. You both had on a beanie, your noses red from playing in the snow, and you were chucking snowballs at each other. 

A tinge of sadness crept into your smile. You guys were so close, and now here you are, turning off your phone, shoving it back into your pocket, rejecting Jungwon’s call. 

“Call me a coward, but I’m not ready to face this,” you whispered to yourself, taking in a deep breath.

〰

Nothing significant happened after your short encounter with Jungwon at the subway station. Seeing him again felt odd. You were expecting him to look completely different. You had imagined him looking like a middle-aged workman who was unkept because he was too busy worrying about his job. Maybe he would have some slight facial hair and a half-done tie. 

But he looked the same, maybe even better than ever. You hated that. Your heart still raced at the sight of him, even now, as you sat in the lecture hall, thoughts of him lingering in your mind.

Jungwon had texted and called you nonstop in the past few days, but you hadn’t responded to any of them. His text messages were all along the lines of “I know that was you I saw at the subway,” or “Why won’t you talk to me?” and “Did I do something wrong?”

At one point, you thought to yourself, “Heck, what’s the big deal? Why can’t I just tell him that I love him?”

But thank goodness you didn’t let your impulses take over. The consequences were too large, and the risk was too great. After all, Jungwon was your brother’s best friend ever since middle school. Admitting to him that you fell in love with his best friend was asking for a death sentence. Sunoo was already so protective over you. If he found out the guy you liked was his best friend, it would be disastrous. Though Sunoo usually radiated sunshine and rainbows, his anger could make the world feel like it was coming to an end.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you noticed the students around you starting to pack their things as the class came to an end. Letting out a sigh, you began organizing your binder and stowing away your laptop in your backpack. As you zipped it up, you pulled out your phone and dialed your friend’s number. 

The dial tone rang twice before a cheerful voice rang out. “Hey!”

“Hey, Jake. Where are we meeting up later again?” you inquired.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you outside your dorm around 5,” Jake replied cheerfully, his thick Australian accent adding a friendly touch.

“Sounds good! Also, don’t forget-“ you started.

“-your melona popsicle,” Jake interjected with a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah, already got it!”

With a giggle, you blow a playful kiss toward your phone, “You’re literally the best.”

“Very funny, Y/N,” came Jake’s sarcastic reply. “The only time you say that is when I bring you food.”

“Ha ha…you know I’m only joking…” you playfully pouted. 

“Love you too,” Jake laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later. Remember to put on sunscreen.”

“Yessir!” you playfully saluted, even though he couldn’t see it over the phone. 

After hanging up, you took your usual five-minute walk through the park to get to your dorm.  The weather was fair today–sunny but not overly heated. The distant chirping of birds and the cheerful chatter of students filled the campus atmosphere.

Since finals had just ended, you and your friends had plans to go roller skating later in the day. So you had to get ready. Wearing a skirt to go roller skating was not ideal. 

Upon opening the door to your dorm, a soothing silence greeted you. Your two roommates were still in class, leaving you to enjoy some quiet time. Glancing at the clock on your desk, it read 4:13. Okay, good, you still had a good chunk of time before meeting up with your friends.

After changing into suitable attire and applying sunscreen as per Mr. Jake Sim’s request, you settled back into your chair. Nervously picking at your nails, you read and reread Jungwon’s last message to you, “Y/N, please. I have something I need to tell you.”

Your eyebrows knit up in confusion. What was there that he so desperately needed to tell you? It’s not like you had any common topics you could talk about. It was probably his witty way of tricking you into talking to him–Jungwon was always a sly one. 

With a heavy sigh, you let your head roll back, allowing the chair to rotate slowly as your mind wanders. Your eyes fixated on the spinning ceiling, and before you knew it, your eyelids fluttered shut as you drifted off into a light slumber. 

〰

“Come on, Y/N! You’re so slow!”

Grumbling, you roll your eyes and retort, “Sunghoon, unlike you, this is my first time skating!”

The tall boy only lets out a laugh as he skates near you, reaching out to grab your arm. “Come on, grandma, let’s get you standing at least.”

Using your sleeve, you wipe across your forehead, collecting all the sweat that had accumulated there. “You liar, you said this would be fun.” 

“It is!” Sunghoon whined. “You just have to get the hang of it. You’re almost there!”

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Sunghoon trying to hold back a cackle. You shoot him an annoyed look, “Fuck off, do I look like I’m getting the hang of it?!”

Currently, you are bent over with one hand on your shaking knees while Sunghoon holds your other hand. As you struggled to gain balance, you watched as a little girl skated expertly past you two, and you let out an embarrassed grumble as Sunghoon doubled over in laughter. 

“What’re you two laughing about?”

Sunghoon’s eyes brightened at the sight of Jake. “Nothing, just complimenting Y/N for her vogue-worthy pose here,” he snickered. 

Jake raised his eyebrows at you, to which you returned with a glare. 

“You better not start laughing at me, too,” you warned.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Jake responded, trying to look offended. 

Before you could retort, you winced slightly from the discomfort coming from your feet. Twisting and turning on the wooden floor to gain balance has taken its toll, and now your ankles are burning from the friction caused by the skates. 

Sunghoon noticed your pained expression and gently asserted, “Okay, that’s enough for now,” as he gently tugged you towards a nearby table. “Rest for a bit. We can continue later.”

Relief surged through you as you gratefully sat down, finally relieving the tension off your aching feet. From your seat, you watched as Sunghoon chased after Jake around the skating rink, both of them laughing as Jake was eventually tackled. You smiled fondly at the sight of your friends. Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your hands on your sore ankles. 

As you winced in pain, a shadow suddenly appeared on the ground next to you. A person approached, their form towering over you, catching your attention. The figure kneeled down, and your eyes widened in shock when you realized who it was. 

Jungwon gently loosened the laces on your skates while murmuring, “Be careful. Your skates are too tight.” 

His unexpected presence left you momentarily speechless, but you managed to find your voice, “J-Jungwon? What are you doing here?”

He looked up with a sad smile, his eyes filled with years of unspoken emotions. “Were you ever going to talk to me if I didn’t approach you?” Jungwon asked softly, his vulnerability evident in his voice. 

His question caught you off guard, and you found yourself grappling with your feelings. At that moment, you realized how much had changed since your last interaction, and you couldn’t help the pang of guilt that was eating at your heart. 

Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you took a gulp before replying, “I…I don't know. Jungwon, I really don’t know.” Your mouth felt dry, and you silently cursed at yourself. That was not what you wanted to say. 

The weight of your unspoken emotions seemed to hang in the air, creating an awkward tension between you. You prayed that Jungwon couldn’t hear your heart panging against your ribcage. 

Jungwon’s sad smile remained, his eyes searching yours as if trying to decipher your thoughts. You looked away because it felt like he could see all the secrets you had kept hidden for all these years. 

“I just…I want things to go back to how they used to be,” you finally managed to add, your voice tinged with vulnerability. “But it’s so much more complicated now.”

Jungwon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean? It doesn’t have to be complicated. We can go back to how we were,” he pleaded softly. 

Rubbing your hands over your face, you let out a frustrated sigh. “Let’s talk about this outside,” you suggested, wanting to be in a more private area. 

You noticed that Jake and Sunghoon were making their way toward you and Jungwon with a concerned look on their face. Despite your inner turmoil, you managed to shoot them a reassuring smile and a thumbs up, signaling that you were fine and there wasn’t a problem. 

Jungwon followed after you in silence, and the awkwardness seemed to linger like an invisible cloud. Once outside, neither of you knew how to break the silence that had settled between you. 

You winced and absently kicked your foot against the concrete, watching as a rock skipped two times before coming to a stop. The sound of the rock hitting the ground echoed in the air, mirroring the uncertainty in your heart. You knew there were things that needed to be said, feelings that had to be acknowledged, but finding the right words was proving to be a challenge. 

How do you casually tell Jungwon you are in love with him without risking him hating you?

Finally, Jungwon took a deep breath and spoke softly, “I’m sorry if suddenly appearing in front of you caught you off guard. I didn’t mean to make things awkward between us.”

“It’s fine,” you mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.

“So…uhm, how have you been?”

You took a moment to compose yourself. You were being rude, and Jungwon didn’t deserve this. “I’ve been okay,” you said, keeping your tone neutral. “Life’s been busy with school and everything.” 

“I can imagine. College was so rough, finals and assignments all chasing after my ass.” Jungwon laughed, his eyes crinkling up into crescents. 

Your heart couldn’t help but ache at hearing his laugh again, the sound bringing back a flood of memories and emotions. 

Your heart swelled at seeing his smile again. 

You couldn’t do this anymore. You couldn’t continue pretending like everything was fine. 

“Jungwon,” you began, palms sweating from the nerves. “What’s the meaning of all this? What’s the point in coming all the way to this city to find me?”

Jungwon’s laughter subsided, and his expression shifted to a look of hurt and confusion. “Y/N,” he started, his voice tinged with frustration as his tongue poked at the inside of his mouth in annoyance. You were shocked. You had never seen Jungwon so visibly angry before. 

“You can’t be serious, right? You’re the one that threw our friendship away. Now, I’m here trying to fix it, and this is all you have to say?” His words cut through you like a dull knife, slow and painful. 

His raw emotions left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, causing you to instinctively bite the inside of your mouth, “It’s just…it’s complicated,” you said, your voice wavering. “It’s not like that,” you tried to explain. “I…I was scared…” your voice trailed off. 

Jungwon’s eyes searched yours, waiting for you to elaborate. When it seemed like you weren’t going to continue, Jungwon whispered, “Scared of what?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision. “I-I’m sorry,” you stammered, “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you as a friend,” you choked out. 

At the sight of you crying, Jungwon felt a tug at his heart, prompting him to step forward and wrap his arms around you. In his embrace, the realization of how much you missed him hit you like a tidal wave, and you clung to his shirt.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. It was more like you were talking to yourself, but Jungwon heard it nonetheless. “I should have been brave enough to risk it all and tell you how I felt.” 

“What?”

At this point, you didn’t really care anymore. You were too tired of this game you were playing with yourself. “I shouldn’t have kept it a secret,”  your voice cracking. 

It felt like Jungwon was hit by a truck. At that moment, he was hit with a sudden realization that this was so much more than you feeling regretful for ruining your friendship. Oh my god. This was so much more than just that. Jungwon’s thoughts raced around as his heart pounded in his chest. 

He opened his mouth to respond, to say something, anything, but you were already talking. Your words were spilling out like a floodgate that had finally been opened.

“I love you,” you let out, the words escaping your lips with a mixture of relief and fear. “I’ve loved you for so long, and I’ve been denying it to myself, to everyone. I didn’t know what to do with my overwhelming feelings, so I-I hid them,” your voice broke as you said the last part.

Jungwon started to speak, his voice gentle and caring, “It’s okay, Y/N. We don’t have to talk about th-”

“No, let me finish,” you interjected. “If you don’t let me say this now, I’ll never get the courage to do it again. Taking a deep breath, you continue, “I don’t know when I stopped seeing you as an older brother or a friend. You’ve always been there to help me, and I cherished our friendship more than anything,” you said, your voice softening. “But the truth is, I wanted more.”

There was only a deafening silence after you finished, and that scared you. “I’m really sorry, I should have told you.” 

“I wish you had,” Jungwon said, his voice low and thick with emotion, “I wish you had told me sooner.”

Oh. 

The words hung in the air like a heavy cloud, and panic filled your chest, making it hard to breathe. You ripped yourself away from Jungwon’s arms, the warmth of his embrace now feeling suffocating.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why hadn’t you thought about that? Jungwon probably had a girlfriend already. To him, you were just a little girl crying about her silly little crush. You felt like a fool for thinking that he could even see you as more than just a friend. 

Jungwon reached out to touch your arm, secretly holding back a smile. But you didn’t see it because you were too ashamed to look him in the face. “Y/N, wait,” he said. “What are you thinking? Talk to me.”

But the panic had taken hold of you, and you couldn’t bear to face the possibility of rejection. Your heart was pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else.

“I-I should go,” you stammered, barely able to get the words out. “I’m sorry for…for everything, but don’t come find me anymore.”

You turned away, your walk breaking into a sprint as you hurriedly make your way through the crowd. You wished you could turn back time and keep your feelings hidden, but it was too late now.

In the midst of your inner turmoil, you didn’t notice Jungwon following closely behind you, his footsteps matching yours. He called out your name, his voice laced with urgency.

“Y/N, please stop,” he pleaded, finally catching up to you and gently grabbing your hand, forcing you to face him.

Tears streamed down your cheeks, and you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. “I can’t do this, Jungwon,” you spit out. “You don’t have to tell me. I know already.”

The only thing you hear is Jungwon let out a sigh, followed by a slight chuckle. Only then do you slowly look up, and you’re confused. Really fucking confused. Why was Jungwon grinning at you?

“What’s so funny?” you ask, your voice accusing, feeling humiliated. Does he think this is some type of joke?

Jungwon’s chuckle softens, “I’m not laughing at you, Y/N,” he says, his voice tender. “I’m just…relieved, I guess.”

Relieved? Your confusion deepens, and you can’t comprehend what he’s trying to say.

Jungwon smiles brightly as his thumb draws small circles on your hands, “I have a secret too.” 

〰

“Kim Y/N!” Sunoo’s voice rang out through the phone.

“What?!” 

“Hurry up!”

You rolled your eyes as you unlocked the frontdoor to the house, “I didn’t know you missed me that much,” you said sarcastically, walking up the stairs and stopping outside Sunoo’s open door.

Sunoo glared at you through slitted eyes, “Not me,” he grumbled, jabbing his thumb towards his bed. “Take your boyfriend away, he’s been whining this whole time about how you wouldn’t take him on your little hangout.”

You pouted at the boy that was now running towards you, engulfing you in a tight embrace, “I told you already. I was hanging out with my college friends.”

“I missed you,” Jungwon whispered against your lips.

“Get out!” Sunoo yelped. “It’s weird seeing my best friend and my sister together, let alone kissing,” he whined. 

The two of you only laugh as Jungwon picks you up, causing you to let out a squeal, and he carried you to your bedroom. 

“Close my door!” was the only thing you heard from Sunoo before you were gently thrown onto your bed, Jungwon crawling in after you. 

You nestled into Jungwon’s arms, feeling the comfort and warmth that came from being in his embrace. 

“You know, I never took you to be the clingy type,” you said, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

Jungwon rolled his eyes playfully, a hint of amusement dancing in his smile. “Oh, come on,” he teased, pulling you closer and wrapping his arms around you. “Can you blame me for missing my adorable and amazing girlfriend?”

You let out a mock sigh, feigning exasperation. “I guess I can’t blame you,” you replied, resting your head on his shoulder. “After all, I am pretty amazing,” you grinned. 

Jungwon chuckled softly, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re right. How did I get so lucky?” he whispered, his voice filled with affection. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.”

You blushed at his words, feeling your heart skip a beat. It was moments like these that made you fall in love with him all over again. He had a way of making you feel special, of making you feel cherished. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” you teased, lifting your head to meet his gaze. 

He grinned, his eyes sparkling as he smiled. “Oh, I know,” he said, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on your lips.

The soft touch of his lips against yours sent a delightful shiver down your spine. It was a tender, affectionate kiss that spoke volumes of the emotions he held for you. In that simple moment, your heart swelled with joy and love for him. 

As the kiss lingered for a moment, time seemed to slow to a crawl, and you felt like you were in your own little world. The gentle caress of his lips moving against yours sent sparks flying, and you found yourself clinging to his shirt, not wanting to moment to end.

Jungwon's arms, which were circled around your waist, began gently tickling your sides, making you gasp into the kiss. You let out a squeal of laughter, trying to squirm away, but Jungwon held you firmly in his arms.

"Jungwon, stop!" you giggled, squirming and laughing uncontrollably.

He grinned mischievously, his eyes shining with amusement, but he didn't relent. Instead, Jungwon intensified the tickling, knowing exactly how to make you laugh even more.

"Please," you breathed out in between laughs. "I can't breath," you laughed.

When he finally pulled back, a soft smile graced his lips as he pressed his forehead against yours. "You're adorable when you laugh like that," he whispered.

Blushing and still giggling, you playfully swatted at his chest. "You're just saying that to distract me from the tickling," you stuck your tongue out.

Jungwon chuckled, his eyes softening. "Maybe a little," he admitted, "but I mean every word."

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling wider and snuggled closer to Jungwon. You could hear the beat of his heart, and you were happy that it was beating as fast as yours.

“You’re everything to me,” he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. “And I wouldn’t trade anything for you.”

Your heart pounded against your chest, and a million butterflies erupted in your stomach in the best way possible. You couldn’t help but return his affectionate smile. “I feel the same way,” you mumbled into his chest. 

“Thank you for telling me your secret.”

“Thank you for telling me yours.”

౨ৎ

tagging : @kcluv @jungwonismybias @mrchweeee @jwsszi @jhopesucker @ashgodash @luvbinniee @en-dazed @aishigrey @luvuwn @silentkarnival @fakeuwus @markerloi @abcdeonu @wonies-princess @aloloveswonie @amanda-archives @chaengswife @yukxin @kpopstanmeg (bold couldn't be tagged!)

a/n : hi guys! tysm if you read till the end! sorry for not releasing this earlier, i went through a rough writer's block and to be honest, i'm not that satisfied with how this turned out, but i thought you guys still deserved the happy ending that you were waiting for! hopefully this filled the void of the sad ending i left in part 1 (sorry about that again) but now yn and jungwon are happier than ever hehe. tysm for all your love and support! and like always reblogs, comments, and likes are vvv much appreciated! thank u for reading this story!

pew ~♡︎

#so cute #im gonna cry #jungwon as a brother's bff trope #is making me crazy #recs ⁝ yang jungwon #yang jungwon ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

WHO THE HELL IS NI-KI ?! - NRK SMAU

; SYNOPSIS - school sucks. especially when everyone's avoiding you like the plague - all because you're the principal's daughter. so it comes as a surprise when a strip of paper falls out of your locker one day, with a corny pick up line written on it. now you only have one question on your mind: who the hell is nishimura riki?

; PAIRING - riki x fem!reader

; STATUS - ongoing!

; TAGS - smau, fluff, crack (more like attempt at humor), high school au, riki is a menace, hyper x calm dynamics?? ; WARNINGS - swearing, dirty jokes/pick up lines (maybe??)

; AUTHOR’S CORNER ! i just love starting something new before finishing my other wips 😍 i've made it so the first part of the pick up line is on the masterlist here, and the punchline is on the title of the actual chapter. this is inspired by this pjo smau on ao3 (LMAO??) + my own experiences bc i also slipped a bunch of pick up lines in random lockers

SPAM LIKE = BLOCK !

➼ PROFILES ! losers club ; riki's pr team

PROLOGUE ! all the good pick up lines are taken…

ONE ! i don't need google anymore...

TWO ! i’m so jealous of ur phone…

THREE ! are you fortnite?…

BONUS ! let's play a game of tag...

FOUR ! do you listen to newjeans?…

FIVE ! "nothing is faster than light"...

SIX ! something is wrong with my phone…

SEVEN ! do you play quidditch?...

EIGHT ! this doughnut is pretty sweet…

NINE ! you look familiar, did we share a class?…

TEN ! we should probably social distance…

ELEVEN ! are you 0x1 = lovesong?…

TWELVE ! are you an unfunny meme?…

THIRTEEN ! hey, is it morning yet?…

13.5 ! i can’t hold a conversation…

FOURTEEN ! instead of liking my message…

FIFTEEN ! your hand looks heavy… ↳ written [2.1k] + smau

SIXTEEN ! be careful bumping into others…

SEVENTEEN ! are you a trap?…

EIGHTEEN ! are you the children i keep in my basement?…

NINETEEN ! is it the fire works…

TWENTY ! i’ll give you a kiss… ↳ written [1.5k]

EPILOGUE ! i can’t think of any more pick up lines…

; TAGLIST (open!) perm . @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii @haechansbbg @gweoriz @maoyueze networks . @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels . send an ask or comment here to be added!

#SOOOO GOOD #mimi does so well every single time 🙏🏻🙏🏻 #my bae right there🤭‼️ #recs ⁝ nishimura riki #nishimura riki ⁝ smau

[jaeyunwrld]

who the hell is ni-ki ?! - THIRTEEN

; SYNOPSIS - school sucks. especially when everyone’s avoiding you like the plague - all because you’re the principal’s daughter. so it comes as a surprise when a strip of paper falls out of your locker one day, with a corny pick up line written on it. now you only have one question on your mind: who the hell is nishimura riki?

THIRTEEN …or is it your beauty lighting up the room? 🌟

— TWELVE ; MASTERLIST ; 13.5 ; FOURTEEN

; TAGLIST - @riziwon @gweoriz @yenqa @miyseung @beomgyusonlywife @luvlee1313 @wildflowermooon @pookikisses @j-wyoung @n0t-kc @chiiiiiiiiis @ghostiiess @mrchweeee @jjongshrts @luvistqrzzz @lilriswife4life @aikoluvssyouu @cholexc @bahngchatsfx @teddywonss @woniewonn @artstaeh @thesassy-mia @moaqong @itsactuallylina @armydrcamers @mowagyu @yumilovesloona @ibsysbsfsunsbs @ashy1um @ahnneyong @jakelux @jaeminri @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams @ririlovesrenjun @sloobydooburmomjungwon @kyanmeai @lazy-miya @bbybearcubbs @hwasfavgf @girlhees @seungified @softieluvsyou @flwoie @y0iy0i @microwvdstrawb3rri3s send an ask or comment on the masterlist to be added .

#THE BLOCK #LMAOOOO #JUNGWON DESERVED #BUT #works well for a man in denial like riki #recs ⁝ nishimura riki #nishimura riki ⁝ smau

[jaeyunwrld]

TOUCH STARVED

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ your bestfriend dyes his hair blonde and old feelings start to surface.

WC ➩ 6.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ I recommended listening to I know by Faye Webster Short and simple but I’ve had writers block and just wanted to try to work through it with something easy and comfortable. Thank you for your patience and support NOT PROOFREAD

“Woah.”

“Woah? What kind of reaction is that?” The boy in you doorway had completed deflated after hearing your lifeless exclamation, shoulders dropping in a small sigh as his eyebrows turned downwards on his tired face to glare at you.

It wasn’t a strange sight to see Lee Heeseung standing in the hallway outside of your apartments doorway, even less strange that he was carrying two convenience store slushees, one in his hand and the other tucked neatly into the crease of his elbow. His free hand had just fallen to his side from pushing his hoodie off his head and revealing the only strange thing about this scene.

“When did you do that?” You were instinctively moving your arm up to reach out and touch his hair that he had freshly bleached blonde apparently, shocking you for just a second when he showcased it with an expectant look on his face.

You caught yourself before touching him but he didn’t seem to notice anyways, pushing past you with another sigh and dramatically flopping onto your couch with a grouchy expression.

“It looks nice Hee, just took me by surprise.” You were following behind him and sitting on the couch with a bit of distance between the two of you, watching him curiously and taking note of the ways his features changed underneath the new hair color.

Heeseung had been your best friend ever since you moved into the city a few years ago, frequently stopping at the comic book store he worked at to pick up gifts to send back home to your little brother and eventually, once he had quit for a better opportunity, he had rushed out of the store one day and asked if you wanted to exchange numbers so you didn’t lose touch.

It had become such a casual routine for you to see him, holding small conversations that over time turned into lengthy talks that accidentally held up the stores lines sometimes.

A handful of days contained you stopping by during your lunch break and eating with him behind the register. Heeseung made you laugh harder than anyone you’d ever met and you found that to be even more true once you started seeing him outside of his work.

Two years passed since he quit his job and you’d almost forgotten what it was like to not know him, easily blending into your life and becoming the first person on your call list at all times. Hence why it wasn’t exactly strange for him to be pouting on your couch, disappointed you hadn’t reacted more to the sudden change of his hair.

Heeseung was always the more impulsive one out of the two of you and he constantly seemed to be jumping from hobby to hobby, the perfectionist side of him never letting him stick to learning just one thing. His style and aesthetic had switched about a dozen times since you’d met him and he was never quite satisfied with the posters hanging in his apartment but the hair was definitely a big change, even for him.

“You think it looks nice?” He was looking at you from the side of his eye carefully, still fully attempting to keep up his upset facade but you didn’t miss the fact he was fishing for compliments.

You sighed and shifted on your knees so you were a touch closer to him on the couch, used to his dramatics by now but you figured you’d humor him slightly since he could be sensitive at times.

He didn’t say anything when you moved forward but he tensed a bit when your hand was coming up to touch the brightly dyed hair, your eyes widening in slight surprise considering it didn’t feel completely dead. You were running your hand through his thick hair and trying not to think about how unusual it was for you to be so touchy with him, never really being the type of friends who were overly affectionate with each other.

He hugged you on your birthdays and occasionally touched the small of your back when guiding you through a crowded party or event and you were extremely grateful for his lack of contact considering you definitely weren’t oblivious to how attractive your best friend was.

You’d even eventually came to terms with the fact you positively had a crush on him when you’d first met, something you denied to your friends and family back home whenever they picked up on the smile in your voice at the mention of your new friend and inquired for details.

Being friends with Heeseung was more important to you and it was easy to forget how much you had originally liked him if it meant keeping him in your life, even easier considering he never seemed to toe that line that you nearly crossed occasionally the first year or two.

The line you were carefully skating towards right now with your hand in his hair, close enough on the couch to where your knee touched his thigh for just a second before you were scooting your lower half away a bit to avoid the contact. You didn’t take your hand away however but it moved down to his eyebrows instead, smoothing them down with your thumb and remembering he had asked a question when it quirked up as he waited for a response.

“It makes you look more serious.” You mumbled and he still had an expectant look on his face, like he wasn’t quite satisfied with your answer. ��Your eyes look more intense now with your dark eyebrows. It’s sort of sexy.”

He snorted a laugh at that and shook his head in denial, realizing you were teasing him and giving him the answers you figured he was looking for.

“Okay but I am serious about it looking nice.” You were smiling as you spoke and he was watching you closely considering you were still gently rubbing his eyebrow with your thumb, retracting your hand after a few seconds and clearing your throat before changing the topic.

The rest of the hangout went as usual, the two of you sitting on your comfortable couch and watching romance movies that were almost comedies when they got too cringy.

You didn’t notice anything different and Heeseung definitely didn’t offer up anymore surprises as big as his bleached hair but something subtly shifted after he left. It took you a few more times seeing him before you noticed he was acting different, lingering around you closer than normal and reaching out to touch the back of your arm whenever he needed to get your attention.

It was so small you barely registered he was doing it until he was back at your apartment the next weekend, coming in with his spare key like normal but instead of going over to your couch and playing on his phone, he was approaching you in the kitchen and watching you for a few seconds silently.

You raised an eyebrow in his direction when you noticed him staring, rolling up your sleeves midway on your arms before going back to cutting up the fruits you’d pulled out for a snack. “What’s up?”

He shrugged at your question and didn’t immediately answer, leaving a weird feeling of confusion in your chest when he was coming closer and touching his arm against yours from how close he was standing. It was much more difficult to ignore than his small casual touching he’d been increasing recently, a lot more intimate than tapping your knee or moving your hair out of your face.

You hurried up to finish cutting before he could do anything weirder and he still wasn’t speaking even when you were shoving the cut up fruits into a bowl and abandoning him near the counter, hurrying onto the couch and glancing back just in time to see him following behind you into the living room.

It was silent for a few more minutes as you started to flip through the explore page of Netflix and you were just starting to relax after his weird demeanor before he was fixing his position on the couch.

You tensed up when he flipped around so he was spread across the expanse of it, moving his body so his head was resting on your thigh and his arm was dangling off the sofa, fingers grazing the carpet gently as he turned to look up at you. “Can you touch my hair again?”

“What?” It slipped from your mouth faster than you even processed his question and he tensed a bit at the harshness of your tone, almost sounding disgusted underneath all of your shock. You felt a wave of guilt for accidentally being rude, taken completely off guard by his request and the fact he was casually laying on you like it was something the two of you did all the time. You relaxed your shoulders to try and show him you weren’t upset and just confused.

“It felt kind of nice when you touched it the other day… I don’t know you don’t have to never mind, forget it.” He was avoiding looking at you now but not taking his head off your lap, most likely too embarrassed to sit back up and rearrange himself again after just doing it a few seconds ago.

His cheek was pressed on your thigh as he stared at the TV despite the fact you weren’t scrolling down the options anymore and there was nothing for him to be looking at. You watched the side of his face for a few moments, following down his sharp jaw and the way the nearly white hairs fell almost over his eyes.

You were sucking in a breath and touching his hair before you could think about it any longer, feeling the way he tensed underneath your sudden touch before immediately relaxing and practically melting into your lap. You started to pick a movie again despite being completely distracted by how much the two of you were touching and if he noticed you were mindlessly clicking things, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Wait… he asked you to pet him?” Sunoo was jaw dropped from where he sat on your bed, watching you rummage through your closet as you ranted to him about the weird moments with Heeseung.

You sighed and shot him a glare because of his weird wording, not responding for a few seconds and squeezing your eyes shut tight when he was letting out a small gasp of shock and scooting forward on his knees.

Three days had passed since you’d last saw your best friend and you had done everything in your power to ignore your growing confusion about the situation, including not telling anybody about it or worsening the situation by getting a second opinion. That only lasted until you opened your front door to see Sunoo’s smiling face, immediately bursting out into confession and asking him for help.

“Okay not to freak you out but this is totally weird.” He was shaking his head now and watching you intensely, opening your eyes to see his equally perplexed expression. “I don’t know if I’ve ever even seen you guys high five before and how he’s practically a dog on your lap?”

“Can you cut that out?” You aggressively threw a shirt in his direction with furrowed eyebrows after his second rude joke slipped from his mouth. He caught the piece of clothing and raised his hands in surrender but you could tell he wasn’t sorry judging by the mischievous look on his face.

You didn’t say anything after that and you felt a deep disappointment in your chest considering Sunoo had left you feeling even more confused about the situation, confirming the fact that it was definitely strange and out of the ordinary.

It didn’t help that the two of you weren’t just looking through your clothes for fun but you were picking out outfits for a small party at a mutual friends house, a party that Heeseung would definitely be attending and looking for you at considering he’d been texting you all afternoon to check in and make sure you were still planning on being there.

Sunoo did his best to lighten the mood but dolling you up and being overly nice the entire way out of your apartment, taking selfies with you in the back of the Uber and purposely avoiding mentioning anything about your best friend.

He was following close behind you once you actually entered the party, feeling slightly anxious considering it was a bigger turn out than what you had been promised over text by the two boys throwing it. You let out a small sigh and scanned through the crowd, habitually looking for Heeseung even though you were still overthinking everything.

It didn’t take you long to find him considering he was one of the taller people there, laughing near the kitchen with some of your friends but you watched as he continuously spared looks towards the doorway like he was waiting for something. A weird warmth washed over you knowing that it was you he was looking for like always, missing you when you’d entered just a few minutes ago.

You tried to ignore the fact that it was completely normal for the two of you to instinctively find each other so there was no reason for the butterflies in your stomach at his attentiveness. Nothing had changed despite the addition of the small touches and you weren’t going to unbury any old feelings for him just because he was acting a bit clingier than usual.

Still, you made your way over to him swiftly, at some point losing Sunoo in the crowd. You weren’t too concerned considering he was the more social out of the two of you, grateful he had at least stuck with you long enough for you to find Heeseung.

You were approaching him and the other boys and they noticed you before he did, smiles on their faces as they started to greet you casually. This caught Heeseung’s attention and he was spinning around quickly to see you, eyes widened in relief and yours opened similarly in surprise when he hands were falling down onto your waist and squeezing softly.

“There you are, I was getting worried.” His words were casual and he didn’t seem to realize the fact you were completely frozen under his touch.

Sunoo had chosen an outfit that left your waist completely bare and although you were growing use to his simple and fleeting touches, you definitely weren’t prepared to feel his warm hands completely covering the expanse of your bare skin. He either didn’t think it was a big deal or he was doing a very good job at pretending, pulling you closer to him so you were standing in front and he was still holding onto you.

You could feel his chest rumbling against your back as he continued to talk with your friends, thumbs absentmindedly stroking your bare sides and squeezing occasionally whenever you slightly shifted.

You were starting to feel slightly crazy and dramatic, like you were the only one making a big deal out of nothing and overthinking stuff that had no meaning behind it. It wasn’t until you were meeting eyes with one of your friends Jake that you considered the opposite, seeing the way he was looking at curiously before his eyes were dropping down to the big hands holding onto you borderline possessively.

He met your gaze again before quirking up an eyebrow in question, eyes creasing into a small chuckle when you were shrugging and giving him a bewildered look to showcase you also thought it was strange.

Heeseung must have noticed the silent exchange because he was faltering in his words for a second before tugging you back tighter against his chest, clearing his throat over the surprised sound you let out at the sudden jerking movement.

You froze for a few seconds before you were taking a step or two out of his embrace. “I need to go to the bathroom really quick.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” He was rushing it out before he even seemed to realize he was saying it and the rest of the group paused awkwardly at the random offer, completely out of character for him.

You froze with them before quickly gathering yourself and shaking your head in denial, starting to stutter out a reason before giving up and turning around so you could rush away from the awkward situation.

Thankfully the bathroom down the hallway wasn’t occupied and you quickly entered it and locked the door, placing your hands on the cold countertop and taking deep breaths to try and calm your nerves down. You’d already been overthinking the situation and having it confirmed that it wasn’t just you noticing things were changing was positively freaking you out, wondering if he had somehow found out about your feelings for him.

You were glancing up at yourself in the mirror and sighing at the stressed out look on your face, splashing some cold water on your cheeks to bring you back to your senses before you were fixing your hair and opening the door.

You were stopped in your tracks considering somebody was standing directly outside of it, peering down at you with a slightly surprised expression because of the speed in which you swung the door open. He was taking a step back with a small smirk when he steadied himself, letting you pass but not making any moves to head into the bathroom himself.

“Is there a reason you followed me over here Jake or were you just creepily standing outside the door.” Your tone was exhausted when you turned back to look at him and he didn’t seem at all shocked that you spoke to him rather than walking away.

“Just wondering what’s going on with you and Heeseung.” He was shrugging casually but he had a mischievous look in his eyes that you didn’t really trust.

Being friends with Jake was fun and casual, he showed up to events and made them louder and looser but he’d also been there for you countless times when you needed help and weren’t sure who to call, not wanting to constantly bother Heeseung with your problems. Jake was particularly useful when your problems were about Heeseung, letting you drunkenly rant a handful of times about your past feelings for him.

But that didn’t make it any less annoying that he was clearly trying to meddle with the situation, whatever it was. You sighed and took a few steps in his direction, pointing a finger onto his chest and giving him your best attempt at a glare.

“Don’t say anything to him about it, whatever it is will pass and we will all forget about it.” You were trying to sound stern and intimidating but he was still looking down at you with slight amusement, eyes dropping down to your finger on his chest for a second before meeting your eyes again.

“If I told you that I knew, would you want to know?” He was saying suddenly with a raised eyebrow and you froze in place.

“Are you implying that you know why Heeseung is acting so weird towards me?” Your eyes turned down into a glare but he didn’t seem at all intimidated by the threatening tone you’d taken on, smiling down at you and shrugging again like he wasn’t holding crucial information to the most important friendship in your life.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” He was clearly teasing you and your frustration grew, making a small angry noise and pushing your palm against his chest instead of just the tip of your finger. “Okay okay fine. All I can say is maybe think about something you did that might have made him realize he-“

Your eyes were widening as you listened to him intensely, nodding to try and encourage him to continue once he slowly trailed off in his sentence. You weren’t sure why he stopped talking until you heard a throat clearing from the end of the hallway, turning your head swiftly to see Heeseung standing there and looking at the two of you.

He had a strange expression on his face, one you weren’t quite used to seeing and it took you a few seconds to realize it was anger. He rarely ever was angry, especially around you and you were completely thrown off by the dark way he was looking at you.

Jake seemed to understand the reason for it faster than you and he shifted back awkwardly, getting impossibly closer to the wall. He couldn’t really move away from you much but the slight movement was enough for you to realize what a compromise position the two of you looked like you were in. Your hand was still on his chest from your anger earlier and you were unusually close to him, staring up at him encouragingly.

Your mouth was parting to try and explain that it wasn’t what it looked like but there was no point considering Heeseung was shaking his head and turning to leave, the flashing lights of the party in the living room behind him illuminated his face just enough for you to see the upset clenching of his jaw.

You didn’t bother saying goodbye to Jake, following after your friend quickly even when he was pushing through the crowd and heading back outside.

By the time you managed to get out there he was stuffing his phone into his pocket and standing on the sidewalk near the road, shiny now from the rain that had fallen during the party. He was crossing his arms and you frowned slightly at how cold and annoyed he looked before you were taking a small breath and approaching him.

“Did you get a ride?” You asked him softly and he didn’t seem at all startled by the sound of your voice, barely sparing you a glance out of the side of his eye before giving a curt nod.

You mirrored the movement of his head in understanding awkwardly but you had a small pit in your stomach considering he wasn’t even looking at you, obviously upset about something you didn’t quite understand. It was rare you and Heeseung fought and even more rare that he was genuinely mad at you and not just bickering about something stupid.

He was keeping up his stony demeanor even when you sniffled slightly from the cold and rubbed your hands on your bare arms to try and warm them up a bit.

Eventually you were wobbling sideways while trying to adjust your standing position and you leaned onto him slightly for support, your skin brushing his for a few seconds before you were quickly standing upright and mumbling an apology into the tensed silence. He didn’t say anything still but you spared him another glance and tensed up seeing he was staring at you now, a weird expression on his face.

You were thinking about asking him if he was feeling okay until he was reaching over and touching your arm softly, ignoring the small surprised noise you made and tugging you over so you were stood in front of him again, the same position he had put you in back in the kitchen.

“What are you…” You trailed off when he was caging his arms around you and rubbing softly on your bare skin like you had been a few moments ago, warming you up immediately but also pressing you entirely against him.

Your next few breaths came out shaky and if he noticed he didn’t say anything, standing there like that with you held against him until the car was pulling up. He held the door open for you and scooted inside next to you until his thigh was pressed against yours, taking up the middle seat despite having plenty of room to sit on his own.

A guilty feeling was eating at you again for being so hyper aware of everything he was doing lately. Maybe he had always been this touchy and you just didn’t notice it because you were so preoccupied with denying your feelings for him and keeping your friendship as a priority.

You were watching the side of his face and thinking about this when you started to change your mind. He wasn’t exactly acting normal either despite being the one to start casually touching you.

Heeseung was avoiding looking at you most the time, almost like he knew you’d be giving him that confused stare you’d carried consistently the last few days. It didn’t help that your friend group had also seemed completely thrown off by the way he was acting and that wasn’t nearly as intimate as the way he treated you when you were alone together. He cleared his throat and snapped you out of your daze, diverting your eyes off of him and opting to stare out the front window instead.

You hoped your face didn’t flush too noticeably when he started to stare at you instead, feeling his gaze just as prominent as his leg pressed against yours.

——

It wasn’t unusual for Heeseung to follow you out of the Uber, it wasn’t out of place for him to be standing behind you silently while you nervously dug your keys out of your bag and unlocked your front door.

All these typical things were only unnerving you because of the new added factor, the heavy tension sitting between the two of you now. You glanced behind you right before you turned the doorknob and met eyes with him for a few seconds, knowing he felt it too for sure now and having no more doubts about if he was purposefully acting different.

You pushed the door open and kicked off your shoes, the two of you going about your usual routine of changing into more comfortable clothes, him having his own section in your closest and drawer in your dresser. It was the same as always except for the thick silence, replacing the usual laughter and banter that filled the rooms.

You took a deep breath before leaving your room in shorts and one of Heeseung’s shirts now, pausing in the doorway when he left the bathroom across the hall at the exact same time.

“So-“

“Are you-“

The two of you froze up when you started to speak together. You gave him a small awkward smile before gesturing your hand in his direction to indicate you wanted him to go first, hugging your arms across your stomach when he nodded to try and calm down your nerves.

“Are you and Jake a thing now?” He was asking in a flat tone but you could tell he was still upset from the party, avoiding looking at you directly and clenching his jaw again.

“You’re seriously asking me that right now?” A disbelieving laugh slipped from your mouth at the end of the sentence and this seemed to frustrate him even more, looking at you finally with heat behind his eyes. You shook your head and touched your mouth softly in shock, realizing he genuinely thought that’s what he had seen.

You turned around to go back into your bedroom, assuming he’d follow even though you were clearly thrown off by what he was saying.

He did exactly that and he stood near your desk when you sat down on the bed carefully, watching you and waiting for you to offer an explanation. You didn’t like how intimidating he looked, something you’d never thought about him before, and you slightly felt like you were being interrogated even though he was the one being weird.

“Of course I’m not dating Jake.” You really stressed the words to make him understand but he gave you a disbelieving look, causing a scoff to be pulled from your lips. “I was only in the hallway with him because he was wondering why you were acting so weird.”

It slipped out before you even realized you were saying it and he tensed up at the same time you paused. His eyebrow quirked up in question and you stared at him in embarrassment, knowing you’d have no choice to explain what you had been noticing.

“How am I acting weird?” He proved you right by asking you that but his tone was stiff and it sounded like he already knew the answer without you even needing to say it.

“I don’t know you’re just…. you’re just being different.” You were playing with your hands anxiously and trying to avoid looking at him.

It didn’t help that he was still standing over you and seemed completely thrown off and distant now that you’d brought attention to his behavior. He must have figured you didn’t notice and he was getting away with it, letting out a deep sigh and shaking his head softly.

You stared at him now despite feeling overly awkward, watching the way his movement caused his bright bleached hair to fall into his face and cover his eyes again. Your mouth pulled into a frown softly and you were standing up before he had time to process it, reaching over and pushing his hair back with your hand.

He didn’t say anything as you touched him gently, revealing his forehead again and making sure he didn’t poke himself in the eyes with the ends of his hair.

It was making the situation ten times more confusing for the both of you but you’d already crossed those invisible boundaries multiple times already and you were sick of how high the frustrated tension was, figuring you might as well take this opportunity to be close to him in ways you hadn’t gotten a chance to before.

“I don’t want to fight with you.” He was whispering and your eyes fell from his hair down to hold his gaze, seeing how his hardened expression had practically melted into one of guilt and regret. “It makes me feel terrible, I hate it so much.”

“Then let’s not fight.” You mumbled back to him, keeping your volume low in the delicate air. Your hand was still touching his hair and you softly put some of the longer pieces behind his ear, letting it drop afterwards to land on his shoulder for a few seconds. You gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze before you were stepping away from him again in preparation to sit back on the bed.

His body automatically followed yours like you had a magnet connected to you, taking a step forward to match the one you took back. He didn’t even seem to realize he was doing it, just naturally trying to keep close to you.

You watched him for a few beats to see if he was going to back away and apologize, realize that he was acting strange considering you’d just had a conversation about it. Strangely, he seemed completely clueless to why you had paused and cocked his head to the side like he was asking for an explanation. You waited for a bit more, deciding between two ways you could handle this and eventually landing on the one that caused you to take a deep breath before speaking.

“Did you want to lay with me?” Your voice was coming out fast and strong but your stomach was almost hurting with how nervous you felt, not sure at all where the line had moved to and how far was too far.

His eyes widened at your question and for a moment he seemed to realize how close you were standing for no reason, weird enough that you were even standing in your room in the first place instead of casually lounging around your apartment.

“Like.. in your bed?” He was finally responding after what felt like ten years and you nodded before you changed your mind, shrugging bashfully after like it wasn’t a big deal to you despite the fact you felt almost dizzy at the idea of laying with him.

You took a step to the side so you could move without bumping into him and he watched as you climbed onto your bed awkwardly, scooting to the far left so the side closest to him was available and tucking yourself underneath your big blanket. He was just watching you in bewilderment and you felt a bit stupid suddenly, having just assumed he’d want to lay with you because how touchy he’d been.

“You don’t have to never mind, it’s stupid anyways.” You laughed softly at the end of your mumbled sentence but it didn’t come across as genuine at all, scooting awkwardly on your side more so you didn’t have to face him directly.

Before you were able to look away from him he was quickly snapping out of it at the sound of your retraction, shaking his head quickly and landing on the bed with his knees before you could shut him out further. You tensed as he climbed into the bed next to you and pulled the blanket up so he could get underneath, avoiding looking at your bare legs for the few seconds they were visible before he was lowering it.

The two of you laid side by side for a few minutes in silence and you were quickly regretting asking him to join you considering how awkward it was.

You could hear him breathing, heavily at first almost like he was winded and then calmer the longer you stayed like that. You’d rolled back over fully onto your back eventually and your shoulder bumped into his, settling down into a position that made it so your arms were touching.

It was hard not to wonder what he was thinking about, if he was thinking about anything. Your mind was overflowing with too much confusion but it was completely possible that he was just laying next to you because you had asked and he wasn’t putting as much meaning behind it as you did so instinctively.

Then you felt something pressing against your wrist, flinching away for a second thinking it was a bug or something before your brain registered the warmth of Heeseung’s fingers pressing against your skin softly. You lowered your arm back onto the bed and thankfully he didn’t seem to be deterred by your sudden movement, sliding his hand down your wrist until he could lace his fingers with yours.

A wave of relief washed over you suddenly, silent confirmation that this wasn’t just two friends laying in bed together.

You felt like your breath had caught in your throat and you absentmindedly squeezed his hand, a sigh of relief being heard from beside you. His thumb was rubbing over the back of your palm and you were fighting the urge to look over at him and see what his expression was like.

“You can say no but..” His voice was coming out low and your head snapped in his direction at the sound of it. He wasn’t looking at you, staring straight up at the ceiling with an almost pained expression. “Would it be weird if.. could I hold you maybe?”

His words lingered in the air and your mouth parted in shock, something he must’ve sensed considering his hand tensed in yours and immediate regret passed over his face.

You didn’t want him to pull away from you just yet so you were acting quickly before you’d fully processed what he was asking and how strange it was. You rolled back onto your side, facing completely away from him and for a second you wondered if his heart dropped thinning you were upset with him for asking you.

Then you were scooting backwards in his direction and glancing over your shoulder waiting for him to take the hint, meeting his gaze finally and watching as understanding passed through his eyes. You quickly looked away, face flushing almost uncomfortably hot and it only worsened when his arm was hesitantly draping over your waist.

He was slow at first, like he was testing to see if you’d push him off or change your mind but when he seemingly decided it was safe he got bolder.

A small surprised noise slipped out of you when he was tugging you back tighter against him, his front completely against you and you felt him tucking his head into the crook of your neck. He breathed in a low sigh of relief and tightened his arm that was around you, instinctively squeezing like he’d finally gotten a breath of fresh air.

You were thinking back to what Jake had said now for the first time since it had happen just a few hours ago, the boy hinting that you had done something that awoken a new side of your best friend.

You wrestled with the idea that Heeseung was potentially touched starved before you ran your fingers through his newly bleached hair so softly, recalling the way his eyes had widened as he absentmindedly leaned into your touched like he was mesmerized by it. It made more sense to you with every passing second now considering the way he was holding onto you so tightly, like he was afraid you’d slip away from him.

“Is it too weird?” He was muttering from behind you and you shivered at the feeling of his breath on your neck.

You were shaking your head and trying to clear your throat to respond to him but you found yourself unable to form any words, overly aware of how close you were and the fact his hand was fanned out against your side.

To make matters worse he started to move again, clearly not content with just holding you against him. His hand was shifting against you and pulling at the large tshirt you were wearing, pausing for a second when he realized it was his but not saying anything about it. At first you were confused with what he was attempting to do but he pulled it up so it was resting near your ribs, leaving your stomach exposed.

You could tell he was propping himself up slightly behind you considering his face wasn’t tucked into your neck anymore and you felt overwhelmingly shy knowing he was looking at your bare skin, his large hand tracing down the dip of your waist and watching the way goosebumps rose to the surface.

Heeseung had seen you in lots of states of undress, walking in on you changing a dozen times and seeing you in bathing suits more than you could count but it felt miles more intimate in your current situation.

You glanced behind your shoulder again at him to find him already looking at you, a look in his eyes that was too loaded for you to want to unpack it right now.

Thankfully he laid back down and shifted his position, tapping you so you could lift your body off the bed a bit and he could slide his arm underneath you. This made it so he was completely hugging you around the middle and because he had tugged your shirt up his hands were left resting on your bare stomach.

Despite the heavy touching and the way he was watching you a few seconds ago, it didn’t feel sexual at all. If anything you almost felt like you could cry from how innocent and intimate the whole situation was. You realized you’d been just as desperate to touch him despite instinctively running from him in fear of what it meant.

Or more realistically, what it didn’t mean for him.

Regardless if he felt the same way as you did, if his heart was beating out of his chest with love and longing that had been buried down deep since you’d first heard him laugh, it definitely meant something important to the both of you.

He was tucking his face back into your neck, moving your hair to the side so he could hook his chin over your shoulder and you could feel his heart beat against your back, anything but still. You placed your hands shakily over his that remained still and warm on your stomach, stroking his knuckles softly and letting yourself stop thinking just for a moment.

#recs ⁝ lee heeseung #lee haechan ⁝ fics

[jaeyunwrld]

broken strings

SUMMARY. Since the day you first picked up a racket, Park Sunghoon had been by your side. He had been your first badminton partner, first best friend, first love—and despite the two of you never having a label, it felt like only something cosmic could come between you. But, when the pandemic makes the world shut down, Sunghoon slowly disappears, leaving you in the dust with no explanation. Now, as you start your senior year and the world starts to re-open, you try to move on from him—right when he suddenly enters your life again.

PAIRING. badminton player!sunghoon x badminton player!y/n

FEATURING. enhypen, itzy's chaeryeong, newjeans' minji, p1harmony's jongseob, kep1er's yeseo, nct's ten

GENRE. social media + written au, high school au, athlete au, best friends to situationship to (sorta) strangers to lovers (goofy ass pipeline), angst, fluff, crack

DISCLAIMERS. swearing, suggestive humour, on that note: really terrible humour, i'm seriously unfunny it's like a disease, some badminton terms, ages are adjusted

STATUS. ongoing

TAGLIST. open! please reply to this post or send an ask -(^o^)-

AUTHOR'S NOTE. decided to release this since 1. this idea has been eating at me for a WHILE and 2. love blooms in new soil (a 4-part enha series! check it out heheh) might take a while for me to finish and release ☹️ so in the mean time i offer this smau as compensation ^^

PROFILES

one | two | three

CHAPTERS

PROLOGUE. what happened to altriusm

ONE. one could say she's Oscillating

TWO. past y/n just jumped in the air

THREE. who the fuck orders a caramel macchiato

#BRO THIS IS SO FUNNY #PEAK COMEDY I SWEAR #LIKE SUNGHOON IS AN ASS #BUT PEAK HUMOR RIGHT HERE. #recs ⁝ park sunghoon #park sunghoon ⁝ smau