lala-apples-blog

[lala-apples-blog]

Cant even sleep. I'm wondering way too much. Its take a teenager alot to act like a grown up. Been up all night is this something I could handle for long? Nothing in life is easy I get that I heard it so many times. I'm sorry I'm cant be like others. I'm just under so much pressure. I don't need anything from anyone right now and I really would ask for the same. You can expect nothing from me, all yo'll end up with is disappointment. I just wish for a miracle's help. Someway, somehow. This is my prayer. Please god hear me out. Help me stand on my feet.  

#prayers

[lala-apples-blog]

May 28, 2012

Dear myself, I know that this is not the best time right now. I'm probably really confuse not knowing what will happen, worrying over the slightest things. I may be able to think clearer myself. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I know its not okay and one day I really do have to face it all but I feel as if I'm not ready. Venting causes me to create mix feelings and its really something I don't want to deal with right now. I odnt know if I should be scared because that's something that happens to me a lot. I seriously do not know what it is that I want but I sure am no where near my answer. Actually I cant even find my question to what I'm even asking? 

[lala-apples-blog]

March 30, 2012

Dear everyone, It's spring break here in San Diego. We're all so excited to be finally sleeping in and partying late again. Keeping in mind we still need to me safe. Typing this on my beautiful iPhone4s. Have a wonderful night. I'll update anything next time. Nothing happening much. Well I hate being corny on here. Bye assholes 🎉

[lala-apples-blog]

One of my top 5 things I really want to do later.

[lala-apples-blog]

If a guy truly wants to be able to talk to you then he will do whatever it takes. Example: You've met. But he doesn't have your number. He would go through all the obstacle to just find it and call you.

[lala-apples-blog]

Hahha my favorite mexican in class. Now this is the internet, he hates it (:

[lala-apples-blog]

JB - When I Can’t Sing (cover)

[lala-apples-blog]

March 9, 2012

Dear everyone,  Hey tumblrpeeps. It's a friday! Let's all celebrate by GETTING A NEW IPHONE4s (: Sorry I'm bragging just excited because my mammmy hates me getting brand new phone. We "cheap asians" lol. We understand the fact of poverty. I have to catch up in school so i'm going to hit the books (literally), watch some asian dramas, smoke some weed and go to sleep. Have a wonderful night. Drive safe!

#movie night in

[lala-apples-blog]

February 15, 2012

Dear everyone, Just trying to update again before too far off. So, i'm trying better and harder for school, living life for myself, eating so much, yadya. Went out eating w. kelsey, lilly, &vivian. Yummy shrimp fried rice, sushi, and tapx. Baby cousin's birthday this saturday. Movies for $5 on tuesday. Lost my phone. Getting my new iphone4s next week. That's it tonight. See you next time.

Have a good night everyone, stay safe.  

[lala-apples-blog]

Oh yeah happy valentines day. Best wishes for all lovely wonderful couples.

[lala-apples-blog]

"I am a happy person, with a wonderful life." I should be a happy person and deserve a happy life. 

But I am not. I am not happy. I wonder to myself everyday, what is my motivation to continue on this way. Trying, but feels like everyone is trying to pull me down. Feeling unappreciated along the way. I know i'm on my own in this world. So it be. 

Let me tell you males and females something, I actually have a mother and a father. My mother is separated from my abusive, lying, heartless father who rather take care of his step-children than his own flesh and blood. So that leaves me with my mother and only 12 year old sister. I have to be a role model for her but I can't be such a role model from being a 17 year old teenage who makes plenty of mistakes. 

My mother, my "mammmy". I dearly love her for all she's gone through for us. I know she cares for us but many times does she makes me doubt that she doesn't love me at all. Every couple of days we would get into a very dramatic hurtful argument. Every single time I would be fall more and more apart.She doesn't even want us because we're in her way of finding better things for herself. I just want to give up and just not even be reminded of having a mother. Blaming her children every mistake she makes, just so she doesn't admit she did wrong. I do not tell anyone of how I feel anymore because I can't turn to anyone. Knowing my own mother talks so much "shit" about me leads me to believe other people wouldn't care to know all this and one day someone will just use all this information against me. 

Curious about my mother? Sorry I will not tell you due to the fact that I do not wish to say any "shit" against her. 

But, I'm still wounded and it just can't be erase. 

#feelings #vent #February13th #0'12

[lala-apples-blog]

him, just fucking him ;D

#lol get it?

[lala-apples-blog]

January 8, 2012

Dear everyone, Well happy new years, I know kinda alot late. But yeah hope the new year started off good for everyone because mine was crazy af. I need to try to do better now. Started regular school again. But in all honesty I really fucking hate it, like it's just not for me anymore. I can't stand school what so ever. I mean I want to graduate and everything of course but the fact of staying in school all day kills me. I'm going to find a different charter school but for now Crawford. Alot of things has happend but to put it short everything is bs, besides my diet. It's been going goood. I don't actually have a good memory of everything because I've fucked up myself. Putting that aside my mother just came home drunk af and I'm really feeling like I'm her mother. That means punishment tomorrow! Haha, yeah it's a complicated thing with me and my mother. I havn't wrote much in awhile due to my lack of laziness and headaches. It's currently 2:24am so I can't really think of anything to say. I actually havn't been sleeping late so it feels a little weird again. What to do this late. Damn parties doe~. Ah, neeeda a break from life to relax just to forget and believe in a fairytale princess life. Good night updates laterrr.  

#daily update #emotional vents next time

[lala-apples-blog]

Gaaaah, I just want you so bad right now. >_<

[lala-apples-blog]

December 27, 2011

Dear everyone, Ah, as we all know Christmas is over and New Years is almost here but at all the same time so is school. Haha and I know no one is looking forward to that. I still need to take care of some things. Oh btw how was your Christmas? I had a shitty Christmas but still god blessed w/ family and presents. I'm not going to worry about things now because I'm going to start off the year happily and a clean slate. 

#christmas vent #updating

[lala-apples-blog]

December 15, 2011

Dear everyone, Stress is over taking me. I'm tired of being stressed out. Every time things are just starting to feel at ease, something comes out of the blues and stirs up trouble. I am tired of trying to be an adult and keeping things okay. Even if I'm worried about things I still need to keep them to myself so others like my mother doesn't worry. I'm moving out soon and I'm scared to leave. I love my home, it's where I'm comfortable. Now I have to go stay with my aunt from my father's side and I need to be able to handle them all. Every one on my father side tends to be judgmental and I can really say I do not like them. This is for my mother so I have to go through with it. I don't know how everything will end up but I sure do hope things will go well. I mean I can at least come home and visit on the weekends.    

#wish me luck #vent

[lala-apples-blog]

Extraordinary Merry Christmas - Glee Cast 

#glee #rachael berry #blaine anderson #christmas song #1