mindfulparentingproject

[mindfulparentingproject]

Hey y'all. Healing is possible. It's hard and it takes years. There are things you may not be able to fully heal and there are things you will let go of quickly. It's okay. There is no timeline for healing.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #mindfulparenting

[mindfulparentingproject]

"You wouldn't be who you are without your trauma."

No. Fuck that.

I am who I am because I pulled myself out of the hell I was brought into and decided I was not going to become like the people who hurt me.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #adult children of emotionally immature parents #mindfulparenting

[mindfulparentingproject]

Parents will control, manipulate, and gaslight their child and then wonder why they grow up to be an adult who is completely indifferent to them.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #adult children of emotionally immature parents #mindfulparenting

[mindfulparentingproject]

Observation: I wonder how many people who say they hate children actually should be hating the adults who suck at parenting and aren't doing their jobs.

Children are children. They don't know better. But the adults in their lives sure as hell should know better.

[mindfulparentingproject]

Lately I've been thinking that I refuse to spend my energy being angry about my past. It won't change a thing about what happened to me. It's a dead end.

It's time for me to be happy and not give a shit about things that try to bring me down.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #adult children of emotionally immature parents #dissociative identity disorder #adverse childhood experiences

[mindfulparentingproject]

To all abuse survivors, just a reminder:

Your trauma is still valid if...

1. You don't have detailed memories of what happened.

2. Nobody knows.

3. You were not physically/sexually abused.

4. No one else recognizes that the person (or people) who hurt you is/are an abuser.

5. You have some good memories with that person.

6. Your abuser was your parent or other family member.

7. You haven't been diagnosed with PTSD.

8. You are able to live a healthy and happy day to day life.

9. You don't want to talk about it.

10. Other people don't understand what you're going through.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #adult children of emotionally immature parents #mindfulparenting #trauma #abuse recovery #triggering content #possibly triggering

[mindfulparentingproject]

you did not deserve what they did to you

the pain they caused was not your fault

[mindfulparentingproject]

Idk what parent needs to hear this but

Your kid’s room is their room. It’s not yours. It’s theirs. It their room. Knock before you enter. Don’t go through their stuff. Ask permission to use their things. I know you feel entitled to the space and the stuff because “it’s your house” or “you bought that bed” (or dresser, or clothes etc.) but you’re not entitled to it. Those are things you’re supposed to provide to your child. If someone gifts you a book it doesn’t mean they can come into your house and read it whenever they want, go through it or take it without asking.

Give your child some privacy please! I’m not saying to let them stay out late, let them lock their doors when they have guest over or, to just never check in on them. I’m saying to knock first. As permission. Let your child have boundaries. Because if you don’t they’ll grow up to be a “yes man.” They’ll grow up not knowing what healthy boundaries are and will be taken advantage of, walked on and abused. Don’t give your child an unnecessary rough start. Don’t be the source of their pain, stress, fear or anxiety.

You’re supposed to be their safe haven. And their room is supposed to be their safe haven. Being home, especially in their own room, shouldn’t be stressful. It should be comfortable. It should be safe.

[mindfulparentingproject]

I spent too long internalizing their hate. I spent too long hating myself for no reason, wanting so badly to be someone else. Sometimes it still creeps up on me. I tried to be someone else, and it didn't work. So now I am picking up the pieces of what's left, and trying to figure out what's me and what I created to protect myself from them.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #adult children of emotionally immature parents #dissociative identity disorder #cptsd

[mindfulparentingproject]

Usually, the only child and teen abuse stories that make it to the news and are portrayed in media are the most extreme, most blood-chilling cases.

But it's important to remember the other stories: the stories of abused kids whose childhood and teenage years looked pretty much like everyone else's, especially from the outside. The stories that fly under the radar. The stories that are brushed off as "attention-seeking", as "edgy teenage angst", as "wasted potential", as "shyness", as "they're so mature for their age", and as "troublemaking".

It's important to remember parents can take you to school everyday, feed you and dress you properly, not leave a single bruise on your body, go to teacher meetings and talk about how proud they are of your grades, allow you to organise sleepovers with friends in summer, bake cakes for your school charity projects, take you on holiday, and still be abusive.

And you don't need to be grateful that you don't have it as bad as the people whose stories make it to the news.

You deserve better.

Your story matters.

Your abuse was as real as anyone else's, and you deserve to take it seriously and to be taken seriously.

[mindfulparentingproject]

“Conversion therapy” is child abuse. There is no gray area. There is no wiggle room. The fuckers who practice it are abusers. The fuckers who send their children off to be “converted” are abusers. Assholes who say “I wouldn’t do it, but that’s their right as parents” are abuse apologists.

[mindfulparentingproject]

We really need to throw the "your parents love you no matter what" narrative out the window. It's a harsh truth, but in some cases parents don't love their children no matter what. In some cases, they don't love their children at all.

If your parents are abusive and manipulative, they don't love you. If they hurt you and make you question your self-worth, they don't love you.

Because abuse is not love.

We need to eliminate the obsession with the 1950s nuclear family, and embrace that familial love might mean your parents are out of the picture.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #mindfulparenting #childhood abuse #sa survivor #chosen family

[mindfulparentingproject]

The hardest part about being a trauma survivor is connection. Not just connection with other people, but connection with yourself. You might suddenly abandon things that you used to love and be devoted to, because staying connected takes too much energy. You might question if your experiences, emotions, and memories are even real. You have gotten used to dissociating to survive the horrendous things around you, and at this point, you either don't know how to come back or you are afraid to come back. Or both.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #childhood abuse #sa survivor #dissociative identity disorder #cptsd

[mindfulparentingproject]

[mindfulparentingproject]

i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”

this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”

and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.

never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.

that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have

it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

[mindfulparentingproject]

As adults, we need to do everything we can to not become the people children need to heal from when they grow up.

#generational trauma #mindfulparenting #trauma survivor

[mindfulparentingproject]

What people don't understand about C-PTSD/PTSD is that it's not just about bad memories, flashbacks, and nightmares.

I don't remember most of what happened to me. My mind blocked a lot of horrific memories to protect me. But I know what happened because of the after effects I live with.

After experiencing trauma, and sometimes it shows up years after, your nervous system is fried. You are overwhelmed and fatigued by small tasks. Your body doesn't know how to relax. You might have chronic pain at a young age. You are always braced for the worst. You might have times where you are physically sick without any underlying illness.

Rarely do we see C-PTSD/PTSD approached as a multi-faceted, mind body and spirit condition that it is.

It's not just about the memories. The mental health system needs to do better for trauma survivors.

#generational trauma #trauma survivor #cptsd #ptsd #sa survivor #childhood abuse #tw