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mythoughtsvault · 6 years

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4 Months

The last time we made love. Or rather, when you selflessly made me float and forget my inhibitions.

July 8, 3:08 AM, you finally had the time, and the mental and emotional state to be with me again. I didn’t want to seem selfish and pressure you with it when you didn’t want to. You just started a new endeavor/career after all. And I want to be supportive and understanding.

They say that there are 5 love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. And while I know that we are not that young anymore (therefore hindering the 5th love language sometimes), you still manage to please me and blow me away, despite everything.

So, we made love finally. I still get guilty that I can’t pleasure you anymore because of your health, even though you tell me not to feel guilty, and that making me happy makes you happy. That was one of the most mind blowing, earth shattering, toe curling, moments of our sex life. You made me orgasm 4 times. I just discovered that my pulse point on my left neck is a VERY sensitive area, and I came just from you sucking and kissing that part. When I was breathless from that, you made me lie on my stomach, raise my ass, and you actually ate me like that, with my ass in your face. I was so turned on and blown away, I also couldn’t help the blush that covered my face and chest area. Damn! And apparently you weren’t done with me.. You were getting hard when I went down on you, but you wanted us to get on the 69 position, but I was still so sensitive, You actually begged for 69. Oh my God! I was so turned on! I was getting self conscious, so I faced you and made out with you because your mouth is my favorite. I blushed so hard again when you asked for me to sit on your face. I said no because I was still self conscious. But you out-maneuvered me and moved my hips to your face. I couldn’t stay still for that too. Finally, you made me lie on my side, spread my legs, locked your right arm to my left leg so I wouldn’t move, and went down on me again. I didn’t think I could come a 4th time, but guess what? The 4th one was really intense, probably the most intense orgasm I had while on your mouth. Now on to the cuddling, and the kissing. You’re excellent at that too. To quote the song, I didn’t know that I was starving when I tasted you. I almost forgot how good your mouth felt and how good a kisser you are. I pointedly told you afterwards that I will DIE if we don’t do this more often. But I have to be understanding. Because you deserve it. It’s the least I could do. I still wish I could pleasure you, even though I know you feel a bit icky with getting medical help for it. I won’t force it.

You are the most selfless person I know. Not only because of that. But also because you humor me with my suggestions; you drive for 4 hours to go to Sta. Maria to see a healer at Lingling’s suggestion; you only kept quiet when I ruined PLDC’s LCD screen during Mama’s 60th birthday.

So despite my sometimes childish thoughts & insecure feelings towards our sex life and your general feelings for me, I realized, you give so much of yourself to me. Knowing your character, it is beyond your comfort zone, but you do it because you love me. I reflected on my general attitude towards you and how I treat you, and I also realized, I am not perfect, but I try to make it up to you by being patient and understanding.

Thank you hon, and I love you so much. Yes, the mind-blowing sex triggered this post.

#mind blowing sex #words #my thoughts #married life sex life

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mythoughtsvault · 6 years

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A thought occured to me while i was untangling my headphones...

I just gave away the last, remaining (redundant?) baby clothes that my sons owned. And I didn’t even bat an eye at the time. Didn’t stop to think of the implications, of what it meant.

It means, I’m getting old. My time for experiencing those types of milestones is over. I will no longer experience the thrill & anxiety of being pregnant and becoming a new parent again.

It means, my children are growing up. No. 1 is 9, no. 2 is 5. No more onesies, booties, gloves, burp cloths, and blankets. No more baby talk, no more monthly checkups. Only demands for more food, more games, more tv time, a new uniform, new toys, and granting ony a new haircut, probably.

It means, i will only have sons, and no daughters. Which is fine, because I don’t know what i would do to the asshole that breaks her heart repeatedly.

It means, i have to open my heart to new milestones, and to be present for every one of them.

#parenting #milestones #my words #motherhood

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