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(ㅅ´ ˘ `)⋆⁺₊✧ happy birthday shinmon benimaru !! 2024.02.20
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the concept was brought forth by the groupchat and i knew what had to be done
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Arthur Boyle
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Viktor: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment.
Joker: Yeah. Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
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enen no shouboutai 2.12 | shadows cast by divine light
"with a deck of 52 cards, I will take your life."
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Random dialogue #7
S/O: *does something slightly illegal* Joker: As a law abiding citizen I shall report it to the police. S/O: ... Joker: ... S/O: Joker, you are not even a citizen.
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It’s the second time fandom makes jokes about character’s height, I laugh at them and THEN I realize I’m THE SAME HEIGHT AS THE CHARACTER.
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Photo
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Joker wasn't MORE worried. He was just THE ONLY ONE THINKING.
Benimaru thoughts are fluffing dial tone.
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Conversation
Random dialogue #6
S/O: brb, gotta take a shower
Joker *with hope in his eye*: need a helping hand with taking off your clothes?
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Announcment
This blog is kinda dead and will stay this way as long as my hype for new fandom will be as it is now. let’s just freeze it for a moment
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Note
Hey quick question are you still doing benimaru x reader fanfics or taking requests for him
I haven't deleted this blog so in theroy I DO still write. In practice I haven't even opened my writings in months. But feel free to send your request MAYBE you will be the one to struck me with this holy motivation to write.
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Random HC #16
If, for whatever reason, a kid ask Joker where babies come from, he will gladly tell them the most traumatizing lie he can come up with.
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Serious questions
"Hey Jok-" "I'm sleeping." “Devil never sleeps so stop lying. I have a question. " Joker opened his eye and looked at her reproachfully that she dared to disturb his rest, but also raised an eyebrow, wondering what idea his girlfriend had this time. “Do you sometimes think about your parents?” "My parents?" he repeated. “Why would I? They left me. " “I know, it’s the offical version but have you ever wondered about other possibilities? Shadows are sickos maybe they straight out kidnapped you, and your loving parents miss you till this day? " He looked at her critically, looking for more comfortable spot on the makeshift pillow he had made for her thighs. “Does it really matter? Whenever I got kidnapped, left or sold for drugs? They are not there and I have better things to do than looking for them. " 
Smoker closed his eye back, concluding the conversation was over, and [Y/N] leaned back against the couch, dropping the topic. Sometimes she wondered if her boyfriend was only pretending not to care about such things, or if he really didn't feel the need for a relationship. On the one hand, it sounds like endless freedom, but on the other, the loneliness that must accompany it seemed overwhelming. She ran her fingers through the unfairly smooth strands of black hair and quickly abandoned her thoughts. There are more serious questions. "Would you sell ME for drugs?" she asked, watching the tips slide between her fingers. "Ain't no way anybody would sell drugs THAT cheap." And then Joker had to fight off [Y/N] attempting to suffocate him with a pillow.
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Underrated show, underrated character, love him a whole bunch ♡
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Just a walk
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Not really what you asked for, but that’s nothing new on this blog. Here you go @sloth-2000​! Enjoy!
“Joker. Joooker ”[Y/N] tugged urgently on the man's sleeve, trying to get attention as quickly as possible. "I need to tell you something in SECRET!" For a moment she stopped pulling on his T-shirt to vigilantly look around for the unwanted pair of ears, as if the echo of her voice did not carry miles down the deserted corridors.
Smoker finally put down his phone and focused on the woman, convinced that if he did not, he would have to reattach the sleeve of his shirt later. "What this time?"
The woman stopped and pointed sadly down. "I have my new shoes and they are killin’ me!" she wailed desperately, hurting his ears. "Can you carry me?"
"I can leave you there to die if you want."
"Pretty please?" [Y/N] tried to use puppy eyes but could barely focus on him. The man looked unconvinced. “I will tell you a REAL secret?”.
"I know all the secrets of the underworld."
"This one is MY secret." She snapped her finger guns at him, convinced that this offer would be irresistible. The blisters on her heel made themselves felt again, so she shifted her center of weigh a little, and to her surprise, the vertical was no longer a vertical.
Joker was the only reason she hadn't kissed the floor. He set it up straight and handed over his hat. "If you lose it, I'll take your phone as compensation."
"Bold of you to assume i haven’t lost my phone yet," she muttered leaning on his back and letting him take all her weight. The man tossed her lightly, adjusting the grip on her thighs, and it was enough to make her squeak amused.
Joker wondered if it was a matter of her macabrely low alcohol tolerance, or his was unusually high. Or was she doubling the rounds when he wasn't looking?
"Do you know why you're carrying me?"
"To know the secret?"
“The reason is also the secret!” She looked around, one last time checking if there was anyone in the vicinity to overhear their conversation, and rested her chin on the man's shoulder, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Because you like me!"
"Ya thinkin' way too high about yourself" Joker shook his head in disbelief, but [Y/N] was not convinced.
"Joker, Joker, Joker," she sighed pityingly, patting him on the shoulder. “It doesn’t mean it’s false just because you didn’t acknowledge it. For example! " She covered his mouth, making it impossible to interrupt. “Why are you here Joker? Why are you helping me out? There will be no paying back from my side. You are not stupid enough to think I will remember anything in the morning, are you Joker? " She smiled slightly, as if tasting the sound of his name.
The man shot her still unconvinced glance out of the corner of his eye and tossed her again, forcing her to focus on holding rather than talking.
"Your beliefs are bigger pile of crap than the church's ones."
"I won’t let you fool me." she stabbed him weakly on the cheek as her head began to weigh, until she rested it on the man's shoulder. A weak and faked melody floated down the hall as she began humming songs they had just heard in the bar. Her purr grew weaker and weaker, until it was completely silent.
Smoker raised an eyebrow in disbelief - it must be nice to be able to fall asleep so quickly. He adjusted his grip once more, feeling it begin to slide downward, and shook his head in disbelief.
“You have no idea what a pretty girl is about. There are no tender feelings for people like me. "
[Y/N] tensed suddenly, leaning backwards sharply enough to sway him. "Oh. My. Sol. You're such a dramatic egdelord. "
“Oi! If you are awake then stay still” he growled, somehow keeping balance.
"I'll ask you a question that I don't want you to answer." She hugged him again very willingly. "Do you really believe it, or does it just fit in with the image you've created around you?" The man opened his mouth, ready to reply, but immediately shushed him, waving an alcohol-drenched breath. "The answer is for you, not me." She rested her head on his back again, feeling her lids begin to weigh heavily. "Anyway, I like you so that's not true."
*
She was right. The next she did not remember a thing after walking out of the pub, what included forgetting every single word from their conversation, and Joker saw no need to bring all of this out.
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Headcanon #15
Joker is totally a guy who would come back home, tell his S/O that he has surprise for them and then reveal his freshly obtained stab wound, hoping they will patch him up.
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The storm part 3
The last part! Have you seen the 1st and 2nd one?
Enjoy!
The shuttered blinds blocked most of the early morning light, so [Y/N] could see the room only in the dim light of the ECG monitoring her own pulse.
Woman glanced at the frame of the bed, the bland décor of the hospital room, and finally stopped at the figure supposedly sitting in the chair next to it, but in practice occupying almost half of her bed.
She raised her hand hesitantly, feeling as little movement as possible arouses pain dimmed with painkillers, and touched her fingertips to the temple of the sleeping figure, making sure that it was material, not just her imagination.
Joker's hand closed instantly on her wrist, even before the purple eye flashed dangerously. But just as quickly it went out when he regained consciousness and, embarrassed, put her hand on the sheets.
"I told you to be careful when you wake me up." muttered, stretching and cautiously looked around the room while avoiding her gaze.
"I thought you were only a figment of my imagination." she admitted, tracing the tube connecting her bandaged hand to the drip hanging above.
"Damn, I wish my whole life was just an imagination." He tried to put on his usual smirk, but this time it didn't reach the eyes. "The creator surely is on drugs right now."
"Drop it, you look too fake to be funny."
Joker sighed softly, his entire body drooping, his arms hanging low, tired from whatever weight he carried. The purple eye grew dull, and the shadows beneath it deepened. When he rubbed hand over his face, she heard the soft shuffling of his stubble.
"Want to call the nurse?" Want me to leave? He was considered a criminal, so it was better for both of them not to attract the attention of the medical staff, especially since it was definitely after visiting hours.
"No." Her answer was short, and the silence that followed was long and awkward. She couldn't remember the last time she didn't know what to say in front of him. After all the time they spent together, she had no qualms about dancing off the beat, faking while singing, or eating the whole burrito by three bites in front of him. But now? The air seemed to be embedded in resin.
“It hurt,” she choked out, feeling the lump in her throat.
"You were hit by lightning," he explained, leaning towards the table with a muffled groan and took her patient card from it. “That's what they wrote about here. See? " He pointed at the medical report. “Your resistance gave in and you got a little burned. The rest are just bruises. "
So that white void was lightning. It made sense — the energy accumulated in the clouds was looking for the shortest path to earth and found it in her and the stranger with electric power.
"That's not what I meant." She rubbed her forehead, noticing as the morphine made it difficult to focus on the subject.
"They hurt you?" This short question crashed to the floor, filling the room with the morgue coolness. All her senses bristled at the threat, but she knew perfectly well that it wasn't aimed at her.
"They didn't make it, the lightning was faster." At these words, Joker relaxed his muscles with a soft sigh. “It hurt when you were gone. I thought you left. "
"Why would I leave?" He looked up at her with surprise.
"The last time I saw you, you said it all didn't matter, so-" she cut off, without a single idea what to say. Instead, she made an undefined motion with her hand to explain the rest.
Joker was silent for a moment, leafing through the memories, until he found their last quarrel and sighed, leaning more comfortably against the bed frame.
“I found they started sniffing around you. More or less those who attacked you. I wanted to do it quietly, I thought I did. And then they decided to take you hostage. I fucked up, sorry. " His whole silhouette radiated an urge to disappear, fed up with the whole atmosphere, but at the same time no force would be able to tear him away from her side.
"Does that mean you are not going to leave?"
"I was planning it honestly." He smiled weakly at the sight of her broken gaze. "I was hoping this would get you out of their sights, but for the moment I can't take you out of my sight."
"Not true!" she muttered, feeling relief flooding her chest and a giggle stirring up sore muscles.
“Wanna bet? Let’s see: now lightning, once almost buried in Nether, rats' attack, falling while replacing a goddamn light bulb- "
"Got it, got it!" she cut him off, covering his mouth with her hand and raised her eyebrows, feeling stubble under her fingers. "Anybody told you that you look terrible?"
"Not everyone had a chance to sleep all day." he grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on the inside of wrist.
"Help me sit up." she pleaded, getting up awkwardly, then with even more difficulty she moved to the edge of the bed to make room for him. "We still have a moment before the nurses' morning round." She patted the mattress seeing his hesitation, but Joker was quickly convinced and relieved to finally lay down.
Almost immediately she clung to his torso longing for the warmth that radiated from him and the sense of security he carried . It was all she wanted in life.
"Next time just let me know if anybody is be after me okay?"
"Okay."
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