no-shirts-in-scotland

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Wild and Wicked in Scotland

I can’t even say why the word ‘Scotland’ appears in the title, given that the synopsis gives every indication that the action takes place in England and there’s no tartan on the cover. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT’S SCOTTISH IF THERE’S NO TARTAN?  Okay, he’s got his shirt off outdoors, and she’s not wearing any shoes, and… wait - are they meant to be in a tree?

Reluctantly agreeing to an arranged marriage to the Earl of Hampstead, a man she has never met, Cassandra Sheridan is angered when her fiance cannot even be bothered to appear at their betrothal ball and sets out to enjoy her own adventure, until she encounters a dashing stranger who has elevated duelling and deception to an art form.

A dedicated spy on a mission, the Earl of Hampstead has more on his mind than a silly party. Now fate has thrown him together with a vivacious lady whom he must protect from harm, and whose sensuous beauty is proving most distracting. Worse still, Devlyn is horrified to discover she’s the very woman he’s engaged to marry!

Honestly, I'm on Cassandra's side. "Sorry I didn't make it to the betrothal ball, darling, but you see, I'm a top secret spy!"

Course you are, Devlyn. Earls so very often are.

And given that you're a spy and that you've raised duelling and deception to an art form, maybe you're in no place to be horrified when your fiancée turns out to be vivacious and beautiful. Which, honestly, don't sound like drawbacks!

GET IT TOGETHER, DEV!

#Wild and Wicked in Scotland #Melody Thomas #scandalous lack of tartan #more power to Cassandra #GET IT TOGETHER

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Meanwhile, Not in Scotland - The Patrician

You can tell she’s Irish, because she has red hair and green eyes.  It’s the law.

Jared of Alexandria shuns both his Roman and Hebrew blood, a curse that’s kept him on the fringes of society, to become a powerful and successful merchant prince. When his trading empire is threatened by an unknown enemy who not only wants to see him ruined but dead as well, he uses every means to put an end to it. He turns to a beautiful barbarian seer, a slave with hair the color of firelight and eyes that shine like emeralds only to be betrayed into a fate worse than death—slavery. 

Bryna of Eire lives each day burdened by the yoke of Rome and her own guilt for leading her beloved brother and clansmen into Rome’s clutches. She curses the gift of sight which her master exploits, keeping her under lock and key, telling fortunes and fattening his purse. When an opportunity to be freed of her confinement comes, Bryna takes it, though her instincts warn that lying to the sensual, golden-eyed man that plagues her visions risks her very soul. 

Betrayed into slavery, Jared labors under the lash envisioning revenge on the seer who sent him into this hell. But when fate throws Bryna into his arms, he finds exacting vengeance a different matter. As they escape, evade bounty hunters and face their pasts, Jared must battle not only his enemy but his heart. Can the differences that separate them draw them together to save their lives and their love?

*bangs head on table* 

A person knowledgeable in such things tells me there’s no Y in the Irish alphabet.  It can’t be that the author’s done no research, so obviously the Irish alphabet is wrong.  Obviously.

Look, there were cultural and commercial influences from Rome, but otherwise I have no comment to make on the idea of an entire Irish clan being under the yoke of Rome because Rome never even tried to invade Ireland. All I will say is that the state of affairs Bryna and her clan find themselves toiling under can't be because the author did no research.

Actually, I'd rather like it if the author did do research, shrugged their shoulders and went, "Sod it. I'm making them Irish anyway!"

#Meanwhile not in scotland #The Patrician #Joan Kayse #miniature...I want to say cupola #miniature landscape #what did the Romans ever do for Ireland? #no names familiar to Irish traditions

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

The Devil of Kilmartin

Him: “Hauld me back, wumman! I’ll nae be responsible!”

Her, barely exerting any pressure at all: “Oh, aye. Erm… yeah, no, er… leave it, laddie, ‘ee ain’t worf it!”

That's a hilariously tiny looking sword to be wielded two-handed. I wonder if that's a metaphor for something.

In the dark of night, Elena of Lamont must flee her home after her father’s death to escape the brutal clansman determined to satisfy his lust for power – and for her. But as the captivating beauty runs from one dangerous man she finds herself landing in the arms of another, one whose passionate embrace offers perils of its own…

As the chief of the Lachlan clan, Symon MacLachlan vows to protect the fiery-haired lass whose gentle touch relieves the demons clawing at his soul. Despite her fierce denials, he is certain Elena is the legendary Lamont healer – and certain that he must have her for his own. Desperate for her soothing caress – and unable to quell the desire burning inside him – Symon is compelled to lure Elena into marriage. But will he be able to win the love of the tender enchantress who has stolen his heart?

There was obviously a fierce shortage of the letter I when Symon was named.

Legendary Lamont Healer Elena Lamont alliterates so well that I can't even be mad! What I can be mad about though is that Sy here is lusting SO HARD* for Legendary Lamont Healer Elena Lamont that he is compelled to lure her into marriage. Compelled? By a stiffy? Symon, you unutterable plank, you don't lure women into marriage. You ask them, politely if possible, to marry you, because - and write this down if you think you might forget - women are people with their own thoughts and opinions. Stop me if I'm getting too technical.

*hur hur hur

#The Devil of Kilmartin #Laurin Wittig #no names familiar to scottish tradition #Symon - can I call you Sy? #Sy #you don't lure women into marriage #you ask them politely if they will marry you #stiffy compulsion #women aren't just plot devices #shocking #hilariously tiny weapon

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Embrace the Highland Warrior

There’s a lot of what I’ve come to think of as shirtless-hero-novel-cover clichés here.

I do love the way he’s got his hands clasped behind his head over his sword.  It’s like an unseen protagonist is in front of him and has gone, “Hands up! Hah! Now you're unarmed and at my mercy!” Little does Unseen Protagonist realise that he’s about to be decapitated!  Wah ha ha ha ha ha!

Lightning is striking the hero’s elbow.  This, along with the armband that’s going to be a bracelet once he’s done flexing (and looks like it's digging in so uncomfortably), and the extremely believable tattoo, should have been a hint for Unseen Protagonist.

You can only say "Cody McBain" if you're using a movie trailer narrator voice.

I hate to be the one to say it, but most Scottish clans had Scottish warriors. They generally weren't importing them from Belgium.

As for Shay's secret identity - it's unlikely that she's going to turn out to be Robert the Bruce but, and bear with me here, what if...?

#Embrace the Highland Warrior #Anita Clenney #they're only Scottish warriors if they're from the Scotland region of Europe #Otherwise they're just sparkling fighty-types #gasp! secrets! #secret identity #BATMAN?!?!?! #authentic photoshop tattoo

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Meanwhile, Not in Scotland

Why are they standing in the rose bush? Surely there’s somewhere more practical to be standing? Or a tree to lean on? Or something?  I realise there’s no refuge to be found in the miniature castle, but there does appear to be a lawn!  GET IT TOGETHER SKYE O’MALLEY AND GUY WITH A FAKE TAN!

Indomitable and bold in an era of royalty and rogues, Skye O'Malley is a woman who embraces her unbridled sensuality as valiantly as she fights for her children, her lovers, her empire. A woman of justice and honor, she will match wits with and challenge the most dangerous and powerful woman of her time: Queen Elizabeth I. 

Though Skye is the object of every man's fantasy, only a handful have had the thrill of tasting her enticing passions men whose own daring adventures match her exotic forays into a world of lust, longing, and remarkable destiny. Skye's is a stunning tale that reaches from the emerald hills of Ireland to the lush palaces of Algiers to the helm of a shipping empire, where she will wage her greatest battle for love and vengeance against the crown itself.

I realised, as I read this, a great many things.

If you want to write about Grace O’Malley, write about Grace O’Malley.

Elizabeth I will crush her like a tiny insect.  Why? Because she’s Elizabeth I.  SHE CRUSHED SPAIN. Some pirate with a shipping empire isn’t going to bother her too much.  She thinks foul scorn that Parma or Spain or any prince of Europe should dare to invade the borders of her realm!  By which I mean she will kill you.  A LOT.

It’s nice to see a heroine who is a bit of goer and none the worse for it.

PUNCTUATION IS A THING.

#bertrice small #skye o'malley #miniature castle #not having sex in a rosebush should be a no-brainer #punctuation is important #meanwhile not in scotland

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

The Scots do Sometimes Hold a Grudge

"Long story short, Butcher Cumberland" is now my way to summarise the England/Scotland relationship in the 18th century.

#History #Butcher Cumberland #Some grudges are legitimate

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

The Highlander's Desire

He's doing his very best to save her from the quicksand, but it's not looking good. She looks like she's got some fight left in her, but apart from the muscles bunching in his arm, he looks all rather resigned to it. At least if he can keep hold of her frock he can probably fashion himself a covering to help him to not die of hypothermia. Brave soul.

Lachann MacMillan's watched his older brother, the laird of his clan, find a passionate marriage, but he suffers no illusions that his path will be the same - especially as the woman he loved was stolen from him years ago. He's ready to leave his homeland and make his mark. He'll even enter into a passionless marriage to the daughter of the Laird of Kilogorra if it means a chance at his own land and leaving behind his painful memories. A simple enough plan until he meets Anna MacIver, a mere serving maid with the face of an angel who ignites a fire in him that is anything but angelic.

Anna has been a lowly servant in her uncle, the Laird of Kilogorra's home, since her mother died years ago. She has no envy for her cousin's matrimonial fate as observation has taught her that freedom - no matter the serving chains - is far more precious that being under the command of a husband. But when Lachlann arrives to marry Anna's cousin, she finds herself longing for something she never knew she wanted. Together the maid and the highlander may find that some things are worth having, no matter the cost.

The first thing that springs to mind is "je voudrais un kilo de gorra, s'il vous plait!" but the second thing is that whilst I know that "Kilogorra" is a totally made up place,"Kilogorra" makes me think Made Up Irish Place, not Made Up Scottish Place. Whilst both nations are indeed Celtic in nature, and the one's language is very much the basis for the other's language, and I can't believe I have to keep pointing this out, IRELAND AND SCOTLAND ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE.

Meanwhile, Cinderell- oh no, sorry - Anna (if previous experience is anything to go by) is probably going to find that the cost of some things is going to be a variety of orgasms interspersed with shenanigans that could probably been avoided if only someone had talked about what was bothering them with someone else.

I'm a little cross by the placement of the apostrophe in the title though. They're both highlanders. Why is the desire singular? I hope it's not because she's too pure and virginal to understand pants feelings because that one's been done to death.

#Margo Maguire #The Highlander's Desire #scotland is not ireland #scotland and ireland are not interchangeable #No Place Names Familiar to Scottish Tradition #Un Kilo de Gorra #QUICKSAND! #Cinderella Story

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Trust and Treason

New Highland Miniature Bridge (authentic Photoshop Copy/Paste Tool On Right Of Picture not sold separately)™ , comes with Highland Warrior™ wearing Painted on Kilt™ and Mismatched Kilt and Sash Tartan™! At only £39.99, thrill your Feisty Englishwoman™ today (£4.99 P&P; delivered in 8-12 weeks, no refunds if Highland Warrior™ rampages; it is a feature not a bug, do not use Highland Warrior™ within ten feet of Perfidious Englishman, may contain traces of nuts, may contain traces of monkeys, not for under fives, not for over fours, void where prohibited, seriously, what is up with the blurry overly-photoshopped edge of this picture, was it just not quite wide enough, could they not just used a slightly smaller font?™ ).

England 1334 Elizabeth Rothwell has dreams of falling in love, marrying, and living the rest of her life in Thornhill Castle. Her dreams soon seem to be destroyed when the Scottish Chieftain, Robert MacDiarmid arrives with a document that entitles him to her hand in marriage as well as the castle. While this is not the way Elizabeth envisioned her life would go, she has a deep abiding faith and believes it is God's will. Laird Robert MacDiarmid is a man on a mission. He's sworn vengeance on the man who is responsible for the deaths of his wife and infant son. To carry out his plans, Robert is forced to marry Elizabeth so that he can take over Thornhill Castle from the warrior priests. Because of the way the Scottish people have suffered and the deaths of his loved ones, Robert is convinced that if there's a God, then He's forsaken him, and for that Robert will never forgive Him.

So, I have questions.

What warrior priests? The best I can think of is the Templars, and they were disbanded in 1312.

Even in England in 1334 there was at least required some sort of pretence that everyone involved was into getting married - "Do you, Elizabeth Forcedintothis, take Robert McVengeanceismylife as your husband?" "Nope." "But what about his document?" "I couldn't give a tiny fuck about his document." "Not even-" "Nope. Get out of my castle. Take Robert with you." "But-!" "OUT." "No, but listen-" "England controls most of Scotland right now, thanks to the Second War of Independence and Edward Balliol really wanting to be king of Scotland and Edward III agreeing to support him but only if he gives him Berwickshire, Roxburghshire, Selkirkshire, Peebleshire, Dumfrieshire, East Lothian, Mid Lothian and West Lothian, so who do you think is going to pushing who around here, we could always ask King Edward - English King Edward that is - who is getting control of English castles, shall we ask him?" "FINE, DON'T GET MARRIED THEN!" "Bye!"

WHO ARE THE WARRIOR PRIESTS?!?!

Honestly, they sound WAY more interesting than Robert McVengeanceface and Elizabeth Ilovemycastle!

#Donna MacQuigg #Trust and Treason #that is not the way marriage works #not even in medieval Scotland #photoshop kilt #photoshop bridge #photoshop madness #warrior priests #WHAT WARRIOR PRIESTS?! #History lesson #sorry about that #Scotland invaded England incidentally #supporting France in the Hundred Years War #Which very much an Own Goal for Scotland there #Auld Alliance my ass #and then spectacularly lost the Battle of Halidon Hill in 1333 #and so David II was in France #and his dad Robert Bruce was probably face-palming in the afterlife #HISTORY!

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Highland Fire

That is one HECK of a look they're sharing. It's so intense that they've failed to notice that HIS HEAD IS ON FIRE, THE MOON HAS CHANGED SHAPE, AND THE CASTLE IS TOO MINIATURE TO TAKE SHELTER IN!

THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!

As the Scottish clans prepare to battle England for sovereignty, two flame-haired Highland beauties - born twins, orphaned and separated at birth - are haunted by the eerie vision of a sister who seems more dream than reality.

I’m kinda surprised that the Scottish clans weren’t preparing to fight the Scottish clans… I also can’t help but notice that although the synopsis describes the heroines as “flame-haired”, the woman on the cover is blonde.  

Maybe the end-times aren’t quite so on us after all.

ON THE OTHER HAND, let's take a moment to admire the fact that this is the first time I've ever seen separated-at-birth twins feature. I'm assuming the other sister is either:

a) a faerie, b) an alien, c) a time-travelling American, d) all of the above, e) some combination of the above.

I'm also assuming that one heroine is English and the other is Scottish (and, hopefully, werewolves).

It is gloriously refreshing to see that no man has been mentioned in the (admittedly brief) synopsis - it's almost as if a plot can be driven without pants feelings being involved, even if the cover implies there's at least one.

THE END TIMES ARE UPON US!

#Highland Fire #Joyce Carlow #end times #miniature castle #no pants feelings at all #what's wrong with the moon? #separated at birth #his head is on fire

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

A Christmas Kiss for the Highlander: Scottish Highlander Historical Romance: 9 (Heart of a Scot) 

He's wearing trousers. I thus conclude that he's not actually a Highlander and, probably, not even Scottish, although given the paucity of anyone north of the Tweed but south of the Highland line, I don't think lowlanders count in Romance Scotland. Either that or he is wearing a kilt but a big green cushion is blocking the view of it and making him look bifurcated in the crotch region. Given that it's the Christmas season, I'm going to refuse to be cynical and assume it's the cushion thing.

The fact that the fireplace and Christmas decorations stop halfway down the page but they don't is second only to the fact that she's clearly done a Vulcan nerve pinch on him.

I have to know, incidentally, what was so wrong with the lady's actual hair that they did that to it and decided it was preferable. I HAVE TO KNOW.

Highlander Quinn Catherwood wants no ties to his family’s dark history. That’s why he was more than happy to reject his inheritance. He didn’t need it, anyway. It’s not like he planned to ever marry or start a family of his own. But then he encountered the vivacious and captivating Skye Hendron, and everything changed. If only she wasn’t completely off limits to him… Englishwoman Skye is lonely, homesick, and out of her element. Scottish customs are a mystery to her. The lack of Christmastide celebrations is particularly upsetting. But if she could convince her guardian to host a holiday gathering, maybe it would give her a chance to spend more time with Quinn—the only person who does make her feel like she belongs in the Highlands… Can Skye and Quinn overcome all that stands between them and find their way to happily ever after? It might just take a Christmas miracle…

There's no suggestion as to the family's dark history here. I offer suggestions, listed from least dark historiest to worst dark historiest:

The entire clan likes marmite. They have it for breakfast on toast every day. Eww.

They're werewolves but not romantic at all. They ate the last woman who wandered, lost, into their glen.

His grandfather is still on the run after borrowing a library book ten years ago and is fleeing the fines.

They're English.

They don't actually have a dark history at all.

I wonder if it's just wherever Skye is staying that they're not celebrating Christmas, or if we've finally got an historical Scottish romance story where the Presbyteries are up and going and officially disapproving of anything that looked like as much fun as Christmas.

#A Christmas Kiss for the Highlander #Collette Cameron #longest title award #no names familiar to scottish tradition #to presbytery or to not presbytary #that is the question #Being English would be the worst sort of Perfidy #No dark history to speak of #incredible dissolving fireplace #no kilt guilt #HE IS WEARING TROUSERS #Or possibly his crotch region is covered with a cushion #TROUSERS #THE OUTRAGE #WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER HAIR #Photoshop

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Christmas in the Scot's Arms

If the action doesn't take place in a slightly misspelt Ivanhoe theme pub called The Scot's Arms I'm going to not be surprised but also a little sad all the same.

I like that he's in an indecipherable tartan, or else entirely in black, because it gets around my tartan pedantry. Also, the room looks really warm, so being shirtless isn't the threat it could be. Whilst it looks like the Highlanders have finally discovered the virtues of remaining inside whilst shirtless, which is good, it also provides the marvellous mental image of him insisting on being shirtless as long as there's a roof overhead. Bath Assembly Rooms? Shirtless. Hanging out at your mate's house? Shirtless. Audience with the Prince Regent? Shirtless, but possibly with a waistcoat on with the last button undone. Because fashion.

London, 1815

Laird Liam MacLeod is not lacking for lasses that wish to marry him. As chief of one of the few remaining stable and wealthy clans in the Highlands, the scheming misses are more than plentiful—too plentiful, in fact, for a man who desires to marry for love. Given the opportunity to escape to London for the holidays, Liam takes it with a half-hearted expectation that perhaps English ladies will be different. But the calculating debutantes of the ton and their marriage-minded mamas leave him with little hope, until a chance encounter brings him face-to-face with a beautiful, witty lady who knows nothing about him.

Miss Cecelia Cartwright has an unfairly tattered reputation and the distasteful yet pressing need for a marriage of convenience. She’d frankly rather eat dirt, but when one’s family is on the verge of poverty, pride must fall by the wayside. But the day a handsome, honorable Scot comes to her aid, he awakens longings in Cecelia that she knows she cannot pursue.

Torn between her heart and her duty, Cecelia finds herself dancing at the very edge of impropriety that once before destroyed her good name. When her old suitor returns to Town, she must choose between the laird she loves and the duke who could save her family. Just when she thinks she knows what she ought to do, Liam reveals a secret that may well prove charming Scots are the most dangerous rogues of them all.

It might just be because I'm in a good mood and listening to Kate Rusby singing Christmas songs, but even though Liam MacLeod is naïve enough to hope that English mamas don't want to marry their daughters off to wealthy clan chieftains, it's not so unlikely that it makes me exasperated - it really wasn't until Queen Victoria started to like Scotland that the whole Jacobite rebellion and the more-or-less illegal to be a Highlander thing went away, so it might very well not be unreasonable to assume that no one with ambition would want to get him hitched up to a relative. I have the image of Mrs Bennett going "It's a pity he's a Scotsman, but it can't be helped. Lizzie, go and tell him that you're single!"

The whole thing is made super by the line "she must choose between the laird she loves and the duke who could save her family".

I hope the secret is that he's descended from the Auld Pretender and thus the rightful king of Great Britain. Not only because it would be unexpected, but also because it would mean a Scottish king who wasn't Robert.

#Christmas in the Scot's Arms #Julie Johnstone #Christmas in Romance Scotland #A Christmas Miracle! #Yes! Another one! #“I'm actually James IV/IX” #Shirtless AT ALL TIMES #Unless it's cold and outside

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

A Scottish Duke for Christmas

He's wearing a shirt, but it's mostly off so I don't think it counts.

The good news here, of course, is that with the amount of kryptonite lying around they're in a good place if they find that they need to fight off Superman. Either that or there's a lot of algae in the lake and it's getting out of hand.

A night of scandalous passion has come at a high price for Ewan Radley, Duke of Strathmore. His headstrong fiancée has fled, and he is now left to raise their love child on his own.

Lady Caroline Hastings isn’t about to forgive the man who threw her over for her sister, but when Ewan begs her to come to Scotland and help save his son, she cannot refuse him.

Trapped together within a snowbound castle, they struggle to come to terms with their past. Ewan seeks to win Caroline back, but she is determined not to be a convenient solution to his problem. As Christmas approaches, Ewan searches high and low for that one special Christmas gift to give to her. But it will take more than mere jewels or fancy clothes because Caroline’s heart desires the one thing money cannot buy. The only gift she longs to receive on Christmas Day is the love of a Scottish Duke.

Oh my god, you guys, they're snowed in and there's only one bed!

*ahem* Sorry.

So, okay, he took responsibility for the kid and, honestly, she fled because of the scandal, but I refuse to believe that a Duke, even a Scottish one, couldn't have gotten married super fast to the woman, and everyone wouldn't have gone "gosh, the child is quite a size for one born so soon after the marriage, you must have gotten her pregnant on the wedding night, pass the port won't you?" The fact that she's the sister of the actual fiancée would be just one of those things, because one of the sisters would now be a duchess.

On the other hand, though, running off because your fiancé slept with your sister and then refusing to get back together with him sounds less headstrong and more self-respecting and enforcing of boundaries. I regretfully assume that he'll sleep with her for Christmas though, because the pants-feelings want what the pants-feelings want. And all of Caroline's friends will hope that she won't tell him all the things they said about him when she first broke up with him.

I wonder if the sister is conveniently out of the way right now, locked in an attic or else laid to rest in a graveyard, or if - and far more magnificently I think - she's also there in the castle, making comments.

#A Scottish Duke for Christmas #Sasha Cottman #Christmas in Romance Scotland #algae attack #sisters are not interchangeable #except when you're trying to marry a duke #pants feelings often get in the way of good plans #miniature castle #the sky is green

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Haunted & Revered: The Scotsman's Destined Love (A Highland Christmas Romance) (Love's Second Chance: Highland Tales Book 4) 

She's standing out in the miniature countryside, not a miniature abode in sight, in the snow and is going to regret not wearing gloves or pulling her slightly wrong looking cloak around herself. She also doesn't appear to have her own arms. The more I look at them the more not-her-own they appear.

Obviously, the most off-putting thing about this whole cover is that there's no semi-naked Scotsman lightly clad in tartan, possibly with a tasselly armband, anywhere whatsoever.

Scotland 1811: ALASTAIR BRUNWOOD, a tall and proud warrior of a fierce Highland clan, finds himself shattered by the loss of his wee daughter. Determined to harden his heart, he retreats from his loving wife, existing as a mere shadow of himself.

Until the threat of a new love for Deidre arrives on the horizon.

DEIDRE BRUNWOOD has loved her stubborn husband all her life. He makes her knees go weak and sets her blood on fire. Never will she believe that her heart could ever be conquered by another. And yet, a seer whispers of a new love that will find her by the old ruins up on the cliff top on the day marked by a blue flower.

While Alastair forces himself to grant her this chance for happiness, Deidre is far from willing to accept it. If she must, she will fight him, fight Fate itself because her heart’s choice was made long ago.

And then the day of the blue flower arrives…

I... Oh my god, I like this. Fierce Highlanders are ten-a-penny of course, but this isn't a plot I've seen before. Alistair seems to be aware that he's making her sad and wants her to be happy.

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

#Haunted and Revered #The Scotsman's Destined Love #Bree Wolf #Christmas Miracle #A previously unseen plot #I know #I can barely believe it myself! #miniature landscape #not a scotsman in sight #off putting cover #something wrong but I can't quite put my finger on it #Christmas in Romance Scotland #Longest title award #no tartan travesty

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

The Earl's Scottish Hoyden

"Welcome to my home. Yes, it is terribly small, isn't it? We're strict Sniffists in this household; I trust you will observe this? No need to worry, ma'am. We only sniff each other's noses; we're not savages!"

There's a distinct lack of tartan here, but fortunately they included snow and thistles to really emphasise the Scottish aspect of it.

Coerced by her brother to spend an English Christmas at the country estate of the handsome but cold earl who all but jilted her a year earlier, Edme Beecham is determined to do no more than assist her brother in his business negotiations with the earl, and by all means, to protect her heart.

The Earl of Cottingwith has been balancing the needs of his new title and estate, his budding shipbuilding business, and an unexpected ward. A year earlier, nipping the bud in a possible family scandal, he’d rushed away from the Scottish lass who’d stolen his heart.

The cold, aloof girl who appears at his home for Christmas could not be his Scottish hoyden, could she?

Everybody's very cold in this. This is because central heating has been yet to be invented, and it's considered poor manners to suggest anyone goes and puts a jumper on.

Here's a few words of wisdom for Earl Cottingwith - she's acting coldly towards you because you dumped her once already. And calling a woman, even if she's Scottish, a "hoyden" is not a compliment. I'm going to be generous and assume he doesn't know what it means.

#The Earl's Scottish Hoyden #Alina K Field #Miniature Manor House #English Sniffing Traditions #The Earl might just be a tiny bit unobservant #I'm reminded of a story where Mary Tudor called one of her servants a pretty whore #and her servant was upset about this #turns out Mary didn't know what the word meant and overheard someone saying this to a girl whilst they were flirting #Flirting was obviously a different sort of creature in Tudor times #Christmas in Romance Scotland

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Charming the Shrew

I'd be more alarmed than her if I discovered a sudden giant, half-naked, dissolving from the waist down Highlander standing behind me!

I'm not entirely sure, but shouldn't a man with biceps that size have less ordinarily proportioned lower arms? Does his arm have a pocket in it where he keeps his shirt? Does he have two biceps on one arm and none on the other? And why are they so huge without him even bending his elbow up?

The good news is that I have a go-to when I need to check bicep proportions.

See? Hawkeye doesn't look like he's got fake inflatable biceps, or that someone's gone on photoshop and enlarged just the upper arm! And he's managed to put a top on in order to fight aliens! The sensible choice. Sure, Clinton is also not a name known to Scottish tradition (it's from an English surname), but he's from Iowa, so that's okay.

Returning home to the Scottish Highlands after battling the English, Tayg Munro receives a hero’s welcome—and a shocking ultimatum. In order to take his place as heir to the chiefdom of Culrain, he must choose a wife within the month or have one chosen for him. Angered by his family’s decree, Tayg delays the inevitable by volunteering for a mission for the king that takes him deep into the Highlands. Preoccupied by his marital obligation, the brooding warrior sets out with no hint of the fateful encounter that awaits him…

Catriona MacLeod is known throughout the Highlands as the Shrew of Assynt, thanks to her razor-sharp tongue and her unwillingness to yield to her five brothers. When she’s told that her eldest brother has promised her hand in marriage to a man she has good reason to hate, she flees into the Scottish wilderness, determined to seek the king’s intervention in her plight. When she reluctantly joins forces with a handsome traveller, she cannot anticipate the treacherous plot that will soon embroil them—nor the passion that will ignite between them

I'll generously assume that Tayg is a go at a phonetic spelling of Tadhg, which is admittedly a difficult one if you're an English speaker. However, I'm not generous enough to overlook that fact that Tadhg is an Irish name. I might have mentioned it before (I've definitely mentioned it before) but Ireland and Scotland are not interchangeable. There are loads of Scottish names! Some of them even start with a T!

He's brooding! I think this means we have to take a drink!

I'm going to break with tradition and comment here about the book cover. Munro tartan is red, but it doesn't look like that. It's in the right range of the colour spectrum, I guess.

I only have one brother and he gets exactly zero say in my life choices, so I can see Catriona's point (incidentally, Catrionia is a Scottish name! Woo!).

I like that the Scottish King shows up so often in these plots, but I'm always left wondering which one. I tend to assume it's Robert Bruce, on the grounds that he's the first one that most people can name who isn't called James, and the Jameses (Jamesii?) just aren't as Romantic as Bobby Bruce. What with fighting the English, fighting the Other Scots, and writing letters to the Pope, he was already a busy king, but with the number of Romance protagonists he was also having to deal with I'm just assuming that he didn't sleep much.

#Charming the Shrew #Lauren Wittig #brooding #Robert the Bruce #Robert the Sleepless #dissolving scotsman #no names familiar to scottish tradition #a name familiar to scottish tradition! #Hawkeye #that was a bit of a diversion from the usual subject #and yet i'm not sorry #he's got nice arms #and doesn't appear to have a pocket in either of them #what happened to his arms?! #Jameseseses #Ireland is not Scotland #Scotland is not Ireland

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Beyond a Highland Whisper

He has to whisper because he's not wearing a belt and anything making too much use of his diaphragm will make his kilt fall down.

At first I thought he might be a ghost, but then I realised that his miniature castle (which may actually be a manor house next to an abbey) is also slightly wispy, making me think that they're just shrouded in fog.

It's very foggy in Romance Scotland. When it's not raining. Or snowing.

The last time Latharn MacKay walked among his kinsman was in Scotland of 1410. Sensuous and charismatic, all the women wanted him, but none could capture his heart. Latharn’s charm became his curse when a dark sorceress didn’t take rejection well. She snared his soul into a crystal globe until the one woman destined to be his love whispered his release. Now all Latharn has to do is find her and guide her to him without speaking a word.

One of the youngest archaeologists in St. Louis of 2010, Nessa credits one thing for this achievement: the recurring dream of a heart-stopping Highlander since the summer she turned eighteen years old. Little does she know, he’s not some fantasy cooked up by her subconscious. He’s a trapped soul determined for Nessa to end his six centuries in hell. Can love prevail over the dark magic of a woman scorned?

If you're from the Highlands of 1610 and the woman destined to be your love and whisper your release is from 2010 and lives in Missouri is it really a curse to have your soul trapped in a crystal globe for six hundred years? And if you've been dreaming of the same man since you turned eighteen, wouldn't it be a relief to actually find him?

Get a grip, protagonists! That's a present. You're welcome, I guess!

What I'm saying is that the Dark Sorceress is the clear victim here.

(Is there a minimum age for archaeologists in St Louis?)

#beyond a highland whisper #maeve greyson #veinthrob #There are three types of weather and they're all cold #no names familiar to scottish tradition #she's a witch #time travel #men only travel forwards #the real victim is the witch #Latharn has only got one ball #the other is in the-

[no-shirts-in-scotland]

Once Upon a Highland Christmas

I don't understand why the tartan blanket is only long enough to cover a woman from mid-boob to upper-thigh. Perhaps if they'd gone a little easier on the tartan pillows, bed, and carpet, but alas. Hindsight is 20/20.

Warrior Grim Mackintosh understands why his friend Archibald MacNab has decreed there be no trace of Christmas in his castle. After a devastating attack destroyed everything-and everyone-in Archie’s life, he prefers to stew in his own misery until the holiday passes. But Duncreag has seen enough tragedy. Grim decides to throw a grand Yuletide feast, one that the bards will sing about for years to come, one that will remind his laird how beloved he is. He can’t do it alone, though. Grim needs an accomplice … 

I read some of the reviews.  This is not a parody, nor is it a light-hearted romantic-comedy, but a serious romance book set at Christmas time.

This being said, there is no excuse for the name ‘Grim’.

#Once Upon a Highland Christmas #Sue-Ellen Welfonder #no names familiar to scottish tradition #We wish you a merry Grimmas #We WISH you a merry Grimmas! #WE WISH YOU A MERRY GRIMMAS!! #ANNNNNNND A HAPPY GRIM YEAR! #Tartan everywhere #Christmas in Romance Scotland