oncehymned

[oncehymned]

[ ... hello, dash, I’m not sure why I’m here either. long time, no see, to those of you who’re still around. call it a sense of nostalgia, maybe.

what’s up, what’s been happening. how are all of you. ]

#off the clock;

[oncehymned]

of-will:

Yeah, well, The Truth Hurts.

… that is the sound of Ludger frantically trying to think of a way to not admit he has no idea what the answer is - he just assumed it was because his pain was funny, or something.

He’s far more existent than certain other muses we can name or think of! Like Sir Not Appearing in this Manga, Sir I’m the Main Character’s Other Personality Who Exists Only To Be The Final Boss, Sir Was Mentioned Vaguely and Only Got Characterization in a Single Gaiden Manga Chapter, Sir Retcon’d Out of Existence, Lady My Canon’s Continuity is Full of More Holes Than Swiss Cheese, Messrs. Posthumous Characters...

... oh, foolish little brother. You never do change, do you...

#foolish little brother whoops wrong canon #off the clock; #crack; #sudden hiatuses for years and years??? #yeah me neither!!! #never heard of it!!

[oncehymned]

of-will:

Bro, you only half existed in canon, this is hardly any different.

“Yeah, but… shouldn’t they have other things to do by now?”

R u d e ?

“Why are you asking me when you know the answer to that as well as I do?”

#crack; #off the clock; #this is a very serious blog #that is very seriously off hiatus/not dead yup

[oncehymned]

of-will:

“Literally why.”

“Probably the same reason I still only half-exist in limbo, really.”

#off the clock; #right i still have this blog it's still a thing #crack;

[oncehymned]

People pay attention to them now. Rather than feel glad about it, Julius feels sick, and nauseous, and a whole host of things that could have been worrying but really only just amounted to him not feeling like he’s enough. And then he feels guilty, because people are giving him their attention and instead of being thankful for it he’s feeling bad about it, and thinking ungratefully that he misses before.

Before, when his father was Mr. Bakur Sir instead of something immeasurable and vast that he has to measure up to anyway, when Julius was all but a ghost in the manor. When his mother was still alive, and he didn’t know how he wasn’t good enough. Not strong or brave enough to save anyone, too weak to do anything but run away and hide while people died.

At least, he thinks he knows why people didn’t like him before. He wasn’t doing enough. Not like his father. And he understands now, that their family has an obligation, a duty to help everyone else. He didn’t know, before, and not knowing had made it seem like he didn’t care, so it only made sense. All this time Julius has been wallowing in his loneliness and isolation, and that’s wrong, really. He’s been selfish and self-centred. You have to deserve acknowledgment. You have to work for it.

“We will,” he whispers in a hush, looking up. “Right?” Magnhild drapes herself over the crown of his head in the form of a margay, slips down onto his shoulder, then curls into the crook of his neck. She doesn’t say a word, even as her gaze flits momentarily over to the pristine casket at the head of the room. “It’s a promise,” he says. “We’ll be enough.”

Her form flickers. Julius swallows thickly past the lump in his throat, letting his words ring out in the empty room, void of life save for a seven year old boy and his soul.

“We have to be.”

#laughs nervously; #'mii what the hell' #'this daemon au is literally just an excuse to infodump your headcanons on us' #you know what? #you're absolutely right #if anyone needs a reminder: #julius was a bastard child and in my interpretation of things #ran into problems on the bisley's parents side of things #as far as actually uh. being #recognized as heir goes #at least for the first ~6 years or so before cornelia and bisley's marriage went through #bisley siring a kid at 14 pls keep it in ur pants #crap what were my tags again #drabble; #wip excerpt more like #v: { swift strike; } #{ j disks; } #i think the post with most of my still mostly relevant hcs on his kidhood is in my jdisks tag #under given and denied; #i'm sorry i've been working on this verse/oneshot a while and #would've vibrated out of my skin if i didn't post a wip somewhere #(as motivation to finish)

[oncehymned]

[ did I say I was back I meant ‘holy shit why did I ever think a 7 day week was a good idea’

no worries, I’m still around, that thing nearly a month ago wasn’t a oneoff thing, I just don’t really have actual sitdown time to look at drafts and bang em out in that sitting, yeah? just means I uh, have to go back to old habits with carrying sticky notes literally everywhere and get over my issues with the useless excuse of coding that’s the mobile app. ]

#off the clock;

[oncehymned]

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.

Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook (via booksquoteslove)

#consonance; #{ job queue } #forever and ever and ever and ever...;

[oncehymned]

K.A. Tucker, Four Seconds to Lose

#consonance; #{ job queue } #mantra of the self-declared selfish big brother; #chalk it all up to guilt.;

[oncehymned]

Look, at least inkstains probably won’t be as much of a chore to get out as blood was. ...Are they? He wouldn’t actually know. Not that he’d made a habit of coming home with bloody clothing or anything of the sort, not the least because it would have attracted unwanted attention to enter the apartment complex in such a state.

Coffee spills on the other, more mundane, hand, well. Fair. They just don’t make interns like they used to.

“Remedial lessons, ouch. Guess I can’t really say anything, considering, but still...

“Well,” said Julius, clapping his hands together with a renewed energy. “We’ll get to that when we get to it. For now, why don’t we use one of our last few precious days of freedom--” from the horrors known as bureaucracy and paperwork and the task of restructuring an entire megacorp in the wake of the Trial, at least-- “to get out of our apartment and get some fresh air?”

And you the start of an approriately Vice-President worthy wardrobe, but Julius figured that didn’t really need any more reiterating,

Ludger shook his head, smirking. He loved Julius, but man did he have issues with colors. Still, he guessed he couldn’t blame him for wanting to stand out among all of the other agents, all things considered. And Bisley was… he suppressed a shudder. Bisley was Bisley; that was all there was to that.

Did he really have to physically count? Ludger knew what one and two looked like, but whatever gesticulations he was insistent on he supposed. He grinned. Of course his idea was a good one. And now Julius was trying to make him radically change his own wardrobe. That didn’t make any sense… If he could just egg this conversation on, maybe the shops in the area would close and he could avoid this awkward excursion for another day…

Oh wow did he actually look embarrassed? So he did remember what he had done to the last load of laundry that he’d attempted. He grinned. “That’s a good start,” he said, crossing his legs as he leaned against his desk. He honestly didn’t mind doing the laundry, whether simply by acclimation or due to the fact that the smell of detergent was just really relaxing. But that didn’t mean that Julius shouldn’t at least learn it…. besides, bleach was what irritated him more than anything. Ludger wasn’t intending to always be the go-to for Julius’s laundry; what if he got a girlfriend, or Ludger himself did? What if Ludger or Julius moved out and then the awkward conversation of ‘I can’t do laundry’ came up? That’d be, albeit hilarious for the younger, more embarrassing than a few accidental pink undergarments. He waved his hand flippantly. “Ehh, we’ll get you started on remedial lessons eventually. I don’t mind, but it’s a good thing to know.” 'Since you know clearly how to soil clothes…’

#thepeopleslancekresnik #my voice for this isn't the same as it once was i'm pretty sure; #oh would you look at that; #flippant narration; #t: { postcoda; }

[oncehymned]

This time, however, the line of Julius’ mouth thinned as he came to a still. Give an inch and he goes for the mile, huh?

Well, expected reaction or not, he had to draw the line somewhere. Picking his battles didn’t mean caving to every one of his little brother’s whims, after all. 

“All right, don’t go pushing it now. You should be rationing these out, Ludger. Don’t go overboard with this when the most I might even have are a few scrapes,” Julius said, firmly. Somewhat more gently, he added, “‘Just in case’ still applies to you too. ...And I meant it when I said earlier that all I needed was an orange. Maybe it’ll actually sink in this time if I repeat myself.

“Think of it this way. It’ll give me some peace of mind to know that you’ll have the gels on hand in case something happens, rather than wasting them on injuries I don’t actually have. This goes both ways, little brother.”

The dramatics were unnecessary. Ludger rolled his eyes as Julius grabbed the gel packet; it was only natural that Julius would deflect any demonstration of concern that he showed for him. But he still took the gel, and that was what was important. “Overkill or not, it gives me some peace of mind.” Though the tone made it clear that his true sentiment was more along the lines of ‘just take it and shut up’. Ludger wasn’t debating this.

And it seemed for good reason. His brother’s breathing eased, and while there wasn’t much physical indication of a status change, there was something about him that seemed more lively. So, it perhaps was just mana exhaustion. Or it could just as easily have been Julius hiding whatever ailed him for the sake of not concerning Ludger… he suppressed a sigh. Perhaps truly gone were the days that Ludger could just blindly trust his brother’s words. If there was something he’d started to come to grips with, it was a healthy level of suspicion toward… well, just about everyone. Bothered as he was by this, it just meant that he had to persist.

“So are you happy now, or are you still going to insist I eat the Apples too?”

In instant response, Ludger held out the Apple gel adamantly. “Take.” A beat, “… Just in case.” Whatever he was doing with his left arm was enough to strike some degree of worry in him. It wasn’t actually an uncommon motion. Julius’s left arm always seemed to disagree with him. However that didn’t change anything. What with everything going on…

#thepeopleslancekresnik #dodges armstuff entirely; #v: { time disintegration; } #t: { precollapse; }

[oncehymned]

[ You’re right in that regard, at least. I’m absolutely livid that you could think to risk yourself like that without thinking it through. ]

[ ... All the same. I really can’t talk you out of this, can I? I mean. I guess I could try, given... how things are. But something tells me it’d be a waste of time and effort. Wouldn’t it? ]

The sword that now housed his consciousness was powerful, Julius knew already. Something like a paintbrush-- if the canvas was reality itself, as least from what they’d gleaned of it. Given that no one actually knew where its limits lay, what Ludger wanted wasn’t necessarily entirely implausible, though it was just as likely that it was.

(Say that, somehow, Ludger succeeded. He got back into Trigleph. Made his way into Spirius. Stormed it, or whatever it was he was planning. Or not planning, as it were.

Did all that, but he couldn’t be ‘fixed,’ as Ludger put it.

...What would his brother do then?--

--Stop, end. No good will come from this line of thought.)

[ Willing to accept the risks, you say. One way or another. ]

Julius allowed himself to chuckle, humourlessly. It came out a little more frayed than he would have preferred.

[ I know I can’t convince you when you’re that determined, little brother. ]

He couldn’t do anything at all, in fact. And that, more than anything, was what terrified him.

For all of his hooping and hollering, at least Julius seemed relatively calm. That was the most he could ask for, really, considering the circumstances. Ludger rolled his eyes. Yes, of course it would be challenging to make an entrance subtly into Spirius headquarters; he hadn’t been expecting them to roll out the red carpet or something. But that wasn’t about to dissuade him. He had a mission, a goal, and if a little bit of turbulence was enough to get him to cop out, then he… didn’t really care for his brother as much as he’d first thought. So there, it was decided.

Okay, never mind, there went the calm he’d had. Ludger clutched the GHS tightly in his hand. Damn it, he’d never realized how much he enjoyed having a voice until he’d lost it. Sure, he hadn’t utilized it quite as well as he could have in the past, but now, there was some small degree of satisfaction in yelling, he noted. Somehow text messaging just didn’t do the trick. But it was all that was available to him. He’d have to make due.

[ They were trying to kill you. ]

    [TEXT –> ] : yknow i think i caught that

It would have taken a complete imbecile to miss it. In retrospect, at least. At first, he’d missed it entirely (and so had the sword…) The only reason Julius was in his current state was entirely due to their attempt on his life. That was what made it so imperative that he remedy the issue, so quickly. Though… why did they want him…? He couldn’t even conceive a reason. Julius was a top agent, a figure head among the organization that was well known. If the original aim had been him, that would have made sense. But aspiritious little brother with no solid connection besides degrees of separation? He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Still, he couldn’t imagine Julius knew much about it either, otherwise he’d have probably had a better solution to the issue than… well, than the one he’d enacted.

[ ... Ludger, please, please don’t do anything reckless. ]

No promises, he thought ruefully. He wouldn’t say that though- no need to add salt to the wound when it seemed he could possibly be getting what he wanted.

[ Just tell me, what do you think you’ll even be able to accomplish? ]

That… was a bit more uncertain. He wanted them to reverse what they had done, to put Julius back to normal. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach that his ideals were a bit too extreme and impossible to accommodate. But that didn’t stop him from hoping, at least. What was the phrase- shoot for the moon, land in the stars? If they couldn’t completely fix what they’d done, surely there was some sort of fail safe that was in place in case of accidents. Surely they couldn’t have just wanted to wantonly kill people and put them in some techy-sword-thing. That… no one was so crass. Well, he hoped at least.

With a heavy sigh, Ludger’s fingers flew.

    [TEXT –> ] : youre gonna be pissed when i say i dont have specifics     [TEXT –> ] : but end goal? fix what they broke     [TEXT –> ] : one way or another, this is going to be remedied     [TEXT –> ] : …. im willing to accept the risks

#thepeopleslancekresnik #he has looped all the way around from panicking into the void; #to calmly (and belatedly) losing his shit; #oops guess it's finally hitting him and sinking in; #congratulations ludger; #t: { metempsychosis; }

[oncehymned]

►► what if the train hijacking didn't happen

Send me ‘►►’ to see what my muse would be like if an important event in their life didn’t happen.

“Vera, please.”

In a negotiation, one was supposed to do it from a position of strength. Julius had done it often enough in his work, both the role the public was aware of and the one they weren’t having necessitated it. He knew that, and it’d become ingrained in his mind as a rule, so that was why the steel hadn’t left his voice even as it dipped towards something dangerously soft.

(Dangerous for him, that is. Negotiate from a position of strength.)

The inaugural trip of the ceremonial train to commemorate the completion of an Elympian food plant was a big event, especially in a country that had been struggling with shortages prior to the fall of the Schism. Consequently, both the president of Spirius and his personal secretary were present. It was only to be expected, and as director Julius also wouldn’t have been out of place, but that wasn’t why he was here.

He needed to keep this brief. Ordinarily it would have been difficult to speak to her on her own without arousing some form of unwanted attention, but the circumstances as they were were an opportune moment. Not perfect, but good enough. Just so long as he resolved this before Bakur joined them.

(He didn’t have much to offer her. Calling it negotiation was a stretch.)

“The lives we lead aren’t for everyone. You know that,” Julius said, watching the woman with a guarded expression. “You were the one who suggested to Nova that she try for the bank, after all. Even though you knew her skill with a staff, and that she wouldn’t be exposed to the more esoteric portions of our duties.

“We’re the same in this, I hope.” If he hadn’t misjudged her. “All I ask is that you don’t inform the president, and revert the records to what they were.”

#elysalark #{ GHS } #guess i wanted to try to tackle this one a little differently; #drabble; #meme; #v: { time disintegration; }

[oncehymned]

“I wasn’t trying to imply anything of the sort. I simply reasoned that you couldn’t have gone this far without at least entertaining the idea, though in the end I suppose your desire to deny the possibility was strong enough that you made no plans for what you’d actually do if it came down to it.”

The synthesized voice was deceptively light, though clinical and sharp in delivery. Whether a product of the speaker’s nature or otherwise, it continued.

<!--Unfortunate. You see, there is enough of Julius left in me that I was going to offer my aid in whatever it was you had planned.-->

“In any case, I hadn’t expected you to simply give up so easily after digging this far. You can’t tell me you really didn’t expect something like this?”

He found it…he finally found a lead on what happened with Julius…but what cost? How was he going to tell Ludger all of this…?

That was a good question. It seemed like the AI was still helping him but was trying to be as neutral as they possibly could. He didn’t answer at first as he started to retrace his steps back, “I’m too late…we were too late. What does it matter what I do now…” 

He cradled his head in his hands, as if trying to search for what would be the next definitive move at this point. He found the answer he needed…but was that really it? Was that all he could do? Would Ludger accept an answer like that?

Ludger would be devastated. And he knew it. 

Golden lifted his head once more at the screen, “Seriously, why does it matter? You make it sound like there’s more that I can do.” What could he do? He was just a hacker, he could destroy Spirius from the inside out…but that wouldn’t bring Julius back. 

#fruitymerchant #this is legitimately the better part of a year later so; #i think i have you beat in that regard! #v: { zero divide; } #t: { ghost in the machine; }

[oncehymned]

‘But you already knew that, right?’ Apparently not from the man’s reaction, Julius thought wryly as he shook the man’s hand (firmly, once, twice, release. just the way he was taught; the tension in this ‘Ludger’s’ hand was palpable). Possibly faked; hard to figure out a reason for it, with unknown gain. Huh.

Will Kresnik. Kresnik-- his mother’s maiden name, and that middle name... Too uncanny to be simply coincidental. Some relation to his aunt? For whatever reason, the man had known him by name, but yet was thrown by the mention of his last. What had he been expecting instead? Julius Wi Bakur wasn’t exactly a secret, at least when it came to others in their profession.

He swallowed down a grimace. Relations and connections to people could get awfully convoluted in fractures. For all he knew this actually was a fractured reflection of his aunt. You couldn’t really rule anything out, when it came to all the possible ways the myriad of might’ve beens in the Prime could have happened. Though he’d never really dealt with something quite like this before...

Still, it was curious enough to warrant investigation. It wasn’t as if he had any other leads on the catalyst at this point.

“...Did they send you after me?” Julius ventured, brow furrowing, eyes sharp. If he hadn’t been testing the man’s-- Ludger’s-- reaction before, he certainly was now.

Yeah Julius didn’t look too great. But would he be somehow offended if Ludger offered him gels? Probably- hell with his body language, Ludger half considered that his earlier compliment to the teen’s skills had been taken wrong, too. Especially once it had been immediately dismissed. He pulled back a bit, biting at the inside of his cheek. “Efficient, no, but you’ve gotta admit it was effective.” he offered, shrugging with a sort of trepidation.

His older brother had an impressive glare. While he was a master of masking the majority of things, he was almost never able to hide when he was clearly looking for something (and Ludger had gotten used to that look often enough to know that he was pretty much vulnerable to it at any given time). It seemed this version of his brother had a similar skillset, leveling a scrutinizing glower against him that made him half tempted to leave. After all, it was clear he wasn’t the catalyst- he’d have reacted-, so why was he still here other than… well, morbid curiosity, he supposed. This was nothing like the Julius he had known growing up… and if the man wasn’t going to just tell him about his life, then Ludger would just have to find out for himself. Didn’t he at least deserve the truth? Didn’t he… shouldn’t Julius at least give him that much?

He gave his head a succinct shake. He was owed nothing and he knew it, but it didn’t make the situation any less frustrating.

“I should thank you for the intervention, though. It simplified things a lot.”

Ludger perked back up, meeting the other’s eyes with a bit of surprise. He hadn’t really done all that much- just offered a distraction and some artes. With something like that huge arte under his belt, Julius clearly had it handled. And what was with that face? Sure, it was a bit relaxed, but there was still a strain to it. Maybe he wasn’t used to–

Oh hell he was a stranger wasn’t he?

Wait, no, surely he’d recognize Ludger, right? Oh but wouldn’t that be worse than anything else? Maybe it was the hair- Julius hadn’t ever seen him with the hair dye before in this verse. Or maybe he was overestimating how old this Julius was? Had he… even met Ludger? There was no way Ludger could be that fortunate to encounter a Julius who wouldn’t know him at all, that could potentially tell him everything he wanted to know about his brother.

“Julius Wi Bakur. And you are?”

That sentence told him two things: one, he had expended all of his luck finding a Julius that would likely not recognize him; and two–

“Ba…kur?” For a moment, he stood in shocked reverie. Bakur. As in Bisley Bakur? No way- Julius had never mentioned anything like that in any respect. And that was the kind of thing that came up, right? That they were related to– well they both had to be. Half brothers. That was what Julius had told him when he’d asked about his mother. “Your mother” he’d said. Okay, sure, but that meant they had the same father, which would be through the family name, which would…

He’d asked him a question. And instead of answering like a normal person, he’d been standing there in confused contemplation. With impressive animation, Ludger shook his head to clear his thoughts. What did he do? Did he answer honestly- would Julius recognize the name at all? Or–

He didn’t have a choice. He wasn’t quick enough to think on his feet and come up with a reliable pseudonym. He grabbed Julius’s hand, anxiety in his grasp as he answered, “Ludger. Ludger Will Kresnik.” … why he’d included his middle name he wasn’t sure, but Julius had said his so… solidarity perhaps? Whatever the case, he hoped that it wasn’t a trigger name or something.

#thepeopleslancekresnik #what's young julius' headspace like again man i don't remember; #one down however many to go; #v: { energy shackles; } #t: { interloper; }

[oncehymned]

[ Guess who’s back, back again. Hymn/Mii’s back, tell a friend. Guess who’s back, guess who’s back...

Bet you’d thought you’d seen the last of me, huh. No worries, answer truthfully, there are no wrong answers, no one’s going to punish you for it. In fact you’ll probably want to punt me back into the Void soon as I get started.

I’m declaring spring cleaning and clearing out all the old drafts in my list so I can start nice and fresh and unbogged down (so no obligation or need to respond, though if you really want to, go ahead) and to actually warm me up for actual writing again, because man has it been forever, so apologies if I wreck a bit of pundemonium on your dash in a bit. I can’t promise it’ll actually be that punctual, but in case it is, I’ve properly warned for the incoming pundemic of posts. It might be quite the punorama. You’ll probably need a punacea. Look, have I worn out my welcome yet? No? Guess I’ll have to be more deadpun.

And no, Cherry, I’m still not going to pick up Lailah. Keep dreaming! ❤ ]

#off the clock; #and you all thought you were rid of me weren't you; #oh snap right i have drafts on the sideblogs too;

[oncehymned]

[ ... so I sat down to prod at my drafts some (especially that meme I prompted back in February) because damn it all I will come back. Eventually. Time or no time.

Ended up humming. Attempted the Hymn of Proof.

Ended up with a chimera of it and One’s Thoughts instead. This will probably make sense to about 2 of my followers. Maybe. Oh well.

YUUURARI YUUURURERIIIIII

Send help. ]

#tbd; #off the clock; #this is no time for that fe au to rear its head again;

[oncehymned]

[ My, you’re saving that old thing? Oh dear, I’m flattered. ]

#tbd; #hopefullovingsmile #off the clock; #no worries everyone. #i'm still here. #i'm always here. #watching. #waiting. #lurking. #looming over your shoulder like an overly overbearing ghost.; #'ludger eat your vegetables ooooo...;' #this is exactly what my julius did after he got offed let's not kid around now; #but no really any shortly-post epsilla thing would probably be super fascinating; #if you know only more people had survived for the repercussions to actually affect them.;