onedroptoomany

[onedroptoomany]

i hate blue eyes.

#him #trauma #eyes #my edit #vent art #vent blog #sa survivor

[onedroptoomany]

#him #trauma #vent art #sa survivor #my edit

[onedroptoomany]

12:35 am

smoking two bowls out of a pipe in less than ten minutes isn’t okay, it scared me. what else was i supposed to do, who else was i supposed to talk to? what good would talking do anyways except make it worse. i’ve come to notice that when im not okay, people go to defend me instead of properly care for me. instead of actually checking on me, they just listen to my pain and use that to hurt others. everyone i know has done it to me, and it fucking hurts every time.

#12/24/21

[onedroptoomany]

12:08am

smoking to get my mind anywhere but here. it’s hard when you’re kicked down and what you need isn’t able to be provided. you know that we shouldn’t crave this, this is why we weren’t able to feel attachment for so long.

#12/24/21

[onedroptoomany]

i hate that you’re able to be something to someone else, but not for me. im left here screaming inside wishing i was better to you, but i don’t know how to interact with you without wanting to tell you that i still care about you. it’s so fucking bittersweet that it hurts, and now im left suffocating inside with nowhere else to turn. why couldn’t you be the person that drew me in so much? the moment i was there, it was like the game changed and now im left yearning for pieces of you.

12/24/21

#12/24/21

[onedroptoomany]

made this space to vent my heart out without the stress of causing pain. it’s meant to be an interactive journaling experience, hopefully something that can help me piece together my emotions without the need of others.