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holy fuck I miss you. I don’t miss you because I need to. I don’t need you, I’ve been sad but fine without you. I’ve laughed until I cried, worked out every day since we said goodbye, and have had enchanting conversations with people that aren’t you. I’m okay, life does go on. I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear, but it’s my truth and I know you value that. That’s something I love about you; living our own messy fucking truths in front of each other. I miss you because I fucking want to. I WANT you in my life.

Holy shit, you’re still the first person I want to talk to after I’ve learned about something cool. I tell other people now, but no one gets it like you do. No one gets me like you do, and I like to think I know you far better than other people do too. God damn it, there is no one else in the goddamn world I’d rather make Saturday night waffles with. Or spend hours playing rummy with. I can’t even imagine reaching the sexual depths we live in together, with anyone else. I want to, but know I don’t exactly have control over that.

There’s so much I miss. Yeah sure, there’s an element of comfort to the things I miss, but my desire comes from more than just comfort seeking. I wholeheartedly mean it when I say that I would give anything to be back with you, trying to figure things out and loving each other harder than we ever had. I miss being your friend. I miss being your lover.

I fucking miss you because I want to and I want you.

Send me the letter. I want to hear what you want too.

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My Face is Wet.

Why is my face wet? This is like the 12th time today! I can’t formulate a thought correctly. Words feel like mush in my mouth and at my fingertips. My brain feels slow. I’ve been alone all day today because being around people… Even talking to Him over text… Makes my skin burn and crawl today.

I don’t want to be around anyone. But I don’t want to be alone either. I’m at a low point today, it’s to a point that I actually almost miss being in mania. I was out of control but at least I felt okay. Now I’m in control but there’s not a damn thing that I can control now Im able to. I don’t even think that makes sense.

I wish He was here because I want him specifically to tell me I’m going to be okay. But I’m glad he’s not here because the thought of him seeing me like this at this stage in our friendship makes me want to hurl.

I just want to curl up in a ball and stop exsisting for a few hours

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Feeling tipsy, stumbling into rooms with you. Feeling safe. Feeling like I can tell you what I want and not be judged. Feeling like you know without me even saying what I need. You just know. Your fingertips and your lips are savant. Yeah, I want you. I want you to know I want you. I want to know you want me. I want to know where you desire to be. Knowing I’ll give you all you want and more.


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Végig beszélgettük az estét. Kicsit megnyíltál, viccelődtünk kicsit közelebb kerültünk és még azt is mondtad, hogy “hiányzom és már az ölelésem is hiányolod”. Hiányzol és alig várom már, hogy ennek az egésznek vége legyen. Meg akarlak ölelni, szorosabban, mint valaha és az, hogy tudom azt, hogy az érzéseim kezded viszonozni mégjobban előhozza bennem azt, hogy hiányzol. Azt hiszem, benned látom azt, hogy boldog lehetek.

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Six months of marriage with this hunk! I love you SO much Snow! I’m thankful I can say that I married my very best friend. 💕 I’m forever thanking God you put your prayer requests in our prayer box.

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:9 ❤️

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I drew me and an old friend we have been talking a lot and been catching up on how much we changed over the years and shit nice to know that we have changed a and grew into the people we are today he is really supportive and nice and that’s basically all hope you like this drawing piece

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I wanna spend time with you. This distance got me feelin like we’re drifting slowly apart. He said he needs another road trip with me. I said I’d love that. Time alone, one on one. Enjoying it being just the two of us. I wouldn’t mind if there were other people because we always have a good time. But there is something special when we focus on each other. When the world isn’t crashing at our door, in those still and quite moments that we share. I miss you. I miss us.


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