patbertram

[patbertram]

Fourteen Years

I’d stopped writing about grief a while ago — I stopped writing about anything, actually, except for an occasional post to give long time readers an update on my life. I certainly hadn’t intended to write anything else on the subject, although for many years, I felt it was my mission to document my grief so that others who were going through the same thing understood the truth: no matter how…

View On WordPress

#commemorating the death of a loved one #dealing with the loss of a soul mate #fourteen year anniversary of grief

[patbertram]

Momentous March

There isn’t much in my life anymore that I want to or need to commemorate. There’s been nothing spectacularly good or spectacularly bad — just life. Living day by day. Enjoying being alive, or at least being at peace and accepting of what comes. I read, play games on the computer, exercise a bit, try to eat right, visit with friends occasionally. Just . . .live. If there is any month, though,…

View On WordPress

#anniversary of grief #buying a house #commemorating life #gratitude #life-changing experiences

[patbertram]

New Calendar

When I broke my three-year streak of blogging every day, I knew days would go by without my coming here to give you an update on my life, but I never expected that months would go by. I thought I would do a quick something for Halloween. Then when that day passed, I certainly thought I would participate in Blog4Peace as I have done for the past decade, but that day, too passed unacknowledged.…

View On WordPress

#becoming a hermit #being thankful #free time #new calendar #new year #sporadic blogging

[patbertram]

Being

Do not adjust your screens. This is not a test. I am really here. Well, virtually here. As much as I used to enjoy blogging every day, I now enjoy not blogging. I like not having to pay attention to all the thoughts parading through my mind, like not having to pick the most salient one or the most provoking one or the most emotionally driven one to explore in a blog post. I’m just letting the…

View On WordPress

#extra time #fall garden #letting thoughts go #not blogging #replacing grass #the unexamined life

[patbertram]

Digging This Summer

The slang term “to dig” means to understand, approve of, or enjoy something, with the connotation that one is really into whatever it is that one is digging. The title of this piece might make it seem as if I am really into this summer, really enjoying it, but that perception is far from the truth. Although for the most part, this summer has been cooler than the past few summers by about five…

View On WordPress

#digging up dead grass #end of summer #hailstorms #heat tolerant grass #hordes of grasshoppers #miller moth invasion #putting in new lawn

[patbertram]

To Dig and To Dream

It seems odd to me that for so many years I blogged every day, and yet now I barely make it once a month. I suppose that’s a good thing — it means I’m not conflicted or obsessing or outraged about anything. What unpleasantries that assail me are noted and forgotten as much as possible. Mosquito bites, obviously, are not forgotten because that dang itch is always there as a reminder, but even…

View On WordPress

#heat stressed grass #ice plant #life as it comes #ornamental rock #replanting grass

[patbertram]

Heartbreaking?

For about three weeks, ever since my S.A.D. times passed, I’d been getting back into the feel of gardening. I’ve had more flowers this year than ever before, and they were doing well. I especially enjoyed the variation on a theme that was going on in my wildflower garden. Daisies. Cosmos. Chamomile. Zinnia. I suppose it makes sense. All four of those flowers are members of the Asteraceae…

View On WordPress

#chamomile #cosmos #Daisies #hailstorn #winds with tornado action #zinnias

[patbertram]

Blog Update

If you haven’t received a notification about a new blog from me in a while, it’s not because of an issue with your email. It’s that I haven’t done an update recently. I have no real excuse, just laziness, I suppose, though truly, I’ve been anything but lazy. Now that the rains have passed, the days are brighter, and the temperatures are drifting closer to the 100˚ mark, I’ve been able to set…

View On WordPress

#Blanket flower #Daisies #daylilies #fall bloomers #hollyhocks #larkspur #Madagascar periwinkle #Trumpet vines

[patbertram]

S.A.D. Times

I’m not having all that much fun with gardening this year, at least not so far. It’s too muggy, too buggy, too . . . everything. Normally, this is the sort of spring I like — cool, occasional rain, cloudy days — but this year, because of the rain, the gardening work is overwhelming. Plants that are used to hotter, drier days, are growing out of control. Weeds are growing thickly. And mosquitoes…

View On WordPress

#bitter candytuft #dwarf evening primrose #larkspur #mosquito-proof clothes #S.A.D. #seasonal affective disorder #wildflowers

[patbertram]

Spring of Excess

This spring seems a season of excess. There are way too many bad air days due to wildfire smoke migrating down from Canada, and there is an invasion of miller months because they aren’t migrating. (They are being slowed down by the smoke.) There are hundreds of the moths in my yard, dozens in my garage and basement, but luckily only a few in the house itself. I try to tolerate them because they…

View On WordPress

#ice plant #larkspur #miller moth invasion #miller moths #too many mosquitoes #zinnia seedlings

[patbertram]

A Real Garden

During the past three or four years, I’ve often posted photos of the flowers in my yard, which made it seem as if I had a real garden rather than the truth — that those flowers were the totality of my garden. A couple of days ago, as I was showing an acquaintance around my yard, it occurred to me that this year, I actually had a real garden. There is so much to see! The wall of larkspur, of…

View On WordPress

#coreopsis #creating a garden #garden corners #garden vignettes #larskpur #wild roses #yellow iris

[patbertram]

What a Difference a Month Makes

Sometimes, in life, a month — or even a year — seems to bring no changes; it’s only in retrospect that we can look back and see the difference in our lives. In gardening, however, a month can bring dramatic changes. For example, in this photo, taken a month ago, spring is just making itself known. The lighter green along the right side of the path are larkspur that planted themselves where the…

View On WordPress

#difference in a garden in a month #larkspur #larkspur invasion #planting a garden

[patbertram]

Internet Restored!

My internet has been restored. You’ll never guess what was wrong, so I’ll just go ahead and tell you — it was in a car accident. Yep. That’s right. A car accident. Unlike most of my friends who have switched to a localized internet company that uses fiber optics, I still have the internet I started with. The cable is adequate for my needs — just about the only thing that might suffer a bit from…

View On WordPress

#a week without internet #cable utility box #Internet outage #offline living #paint by number

[patbertram]

Going Cold Turkey

My internet went out yesterday. I didn’t worry because such things happen, especially in times of high winds, but when I wasn’t reconnected after an hour or so, I braved the labyrinth of the company’s automated phone system. Eventually I was transferred to a real person (at least I think she was) and after enduring multiple sessions of being put on hold, I was informed that it wasn’t an area…

View On WordPress

#being unconnected #living without the internet #planning a garden

[patbertram]

Looking Good!

Except for throwing out a few wildflower seeds between snowfalls this winter, I didn’t do anything for my garden. I wanted to see what of the perennials would come up again and what annuals would reseed themselves so that I wouldn’t plant over something I wanted. Not as many flowers as I expected came up again this year. In fact, as you can see, one of the areas in the bottom lefthand corner…

View On WordPress

#larkspur #lawn going to seed #lilacs #plants reseeding themselves #Siberian wallflower

[patbertram]

The Joy -- and Heartbreak -- of Gardening

My yard is greening up nicely. The grass you see in the forefront of the photo is the grass I planted last fall after digging up the Bermuda grass that had taken over the area. The new grass survived the winter nicely. I was going to wait to see how the grass does in the unrelenting sun of summer before I planted more seeds, but I decided to go ahead and do some of the work now. The blue seed is…

View On WordPress

#heat tolerant grass #lawn as a mental health aid #planting grass #plants and shade #plants and sun #tulips

[patbertram]

Finally -- Some Color!

It’s taken a while, but it’s great to see a bit of color in my yard. I’m not sure if the other tulips will bloom — they don’t seem to like the ninety-degree weather we had, so I’m celebrating whatever beauty I find in my yard. To paraphrase Shakespeare, though they be but few, they are beautiful! *** Pat Bertram is the author of Grief: The Inside Story – A Guide to Surviving the Loss of a…

View On WordPress

#first tulips #tulips