poor-friend

[poor-friend]

I really feel like im losing. Like I feel so controlled by my trauma, anxiety, depression, disorders and it's overpowering me. It controls my life. Everything in my life. I feel so paralyzed and so fucked up. Why can't I just be normal. How does everyone else make it look so easy. I'm tired, exhausted, really.

[poor-friend]

Going no contact

#resources

[poor-friend]

moving out from a toxic family but still remaining in contact is so weird because I would do anything to avoid communicating with them but my crushing sense of duty and paralyzing fear of them harming me makes willingly getting my soul drained by a phone call seem almost better

[poor-friend]

12 years later, i'm still suppressing my emotions

[poor-friend]

Neil Hilborn, A Place Where Someone Loves You

#comfort

[poor-friend]

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

#resources

[poor-friend]

Apartment hacks masterpost

Kitchen

How to clean up kitchen (particularly the sink, burnt pots and small aplliances)

How to take care of kitchen stuff so that it lives longer

10 commandments of a clutter-free kitchen

Organizing kitchen mini masterpost

5 things to do in the kitchen before you go to bed

What is soapy bowl and why it’s awesome

How to organize your fridge (also here, here and here)

Thins you should know about your fridge

Adding more storage space in a tiny kitchen

Cleaning

Lots of cleaning tutorials and tips. And some more

How to clean up pantry

How to make your house look cleaner than it really is

How to wash pillows

Cleaning the bathroom

How to clean the nastiest places (and get rid of bad smells, etc.)

Floor-to-celling guide to spring cleaning

Recaulking your bathtub

Cleaning grout

How to dispose of toxic waste

Cleaning the medicine cabinet

How to make chores more fun

You mustn’t skip these chores, but you can delay these if you’re busy

Easily forgotten things that you should clean/replace

Why you need a catch-up day

Small cleaning tasks to do in under 15 minutes (also here)

Looking for a flat/moving

First apartment checklist

Where too look during an apartment hunt (and some more tips)

Negotiate these things with your landlord

What to do first in a new place

What do clean before moving out

How not to get crazy during moving flats

How to downgrade to a smaller place

Organisation, storage

10 habits for better home organisation

How to store off-season items

10 storage ideas for small spaces (more here)

Storage secret weapons

How to organise your closet

Things to do before twice-yearly closet switchout

How to store and maintain your sweaters

Decluttering

Why it feels great

How to get rid of clutter

How to declutter (not only a flat)

What needs to be thrown away from your flat

How to let go of the things you no longer need

Things you own too many of; you can throw away these too

Decuttering the bathroom

Decluterring masterpost

Decorating

Projects for every room in your home/flat

Add style to your home

DIY decorating ideas

How to use negative space

4 common decorating mistakes and how to avoid them

Questions to ask yourself before buying something new

How to choose furniture that’ll be easier to clean

Season-specific tips

Things to do before the cold season

Household hacks for winter

Preparing for Christmas

Green thumb 101

How to take care of succulents

Never kill a plant again

Living alone / Sharing a flat

How not to be lonely when living alone

12 things you can only do when home alone

What you learn by living alone

Things you learn while sharing a flat

What to pack when leaving for a dorm

How to seamlessly share a kitchen (or a flat in general)

Safety issues to discuss with flatmates

Benefits of living with strangers

And also how to turn a house into a home

#resources

[poor-friend]

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

#resources

[poor-friend]

Not founding out I have a medical condition until after years of treating it is so fun.

Neither my doctors or parents told me. I just thought I was treating separate things, not symptoms for One thing. And if it wasn’t for TikTok I wouldn’t have even heard of the condition before

It would have saved me so much headache if I at least was told what was happening

#f.txt #health conditions #health cw #ventcore #traumacore

[poor-friend]

you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day

#comfort

[poor-friend]

[poor-friend]

stories where the past is a wound that refuses to heal

[poor-friend]

mothers will have an abusive son and say I Have to defend that guy with my life

#omg my mom core #sorry

[poor-friend]

Something that people don't talk about enough is that when you're raised to be mature from a young age, your parents just become any other figure in your life and even if you have a seemingly peaceful relationship with them, there's absolutely no comfort you can find under their shade. You'll never get to be immature and childish and helpless with them because that dynamic was never set in the first place and all the validation you ever had from them was from parentification.

So even at your worst moments in life, you will be left alone with no place to seek refuge and you'll have to constantly find it in yourself to be strong enough to deal with everything alone.

[poor-friend]

toxic parents will traumatize you and act surprised when you act like you've been traumatized

#no but it’s fine I’m just exaggerating :))

[poor-friend]

thinking of how one of my twitter mutuals tried to do the ai generated greentext and got like. a genuine piece of poetry with meaning that actually feels like a person wrote it

#quotes

[poor-friend]

Oh. It wasn’t even a month later

Just realized that now that I’m ** years old now my brother sees no reason to not treat me like our sister. Can’t wait to punch by him and to have everyone defend him!!!!!!!!