pritou

[pritou]

When I was a kid, maybe 14 or so (which is, you know, 20+ years ago), I belonged to a Yahoo! mailing list for an anime called Gundam Wing. It was mostly populated by other teens, of varying ages, as it was started by a teen and her friends. Eventually it migrated, when Yahoo! groups started as forums, and even branched off into non-GW related stuff in a second forum.

One of the things I remember the most clearly is the oldest person in the group. Her name was Steelsong. She was a 40-something Dom with a sub whose name we knew even though we knew nothing else. She ran her own fanfic archive because the web was still handmade HTML and navigated in webrings and I’m pretty sure Google didn’t exist or was only barely, barely launched and not well known. She was kind and patient and we loved her. She treated everyone on the group with the respect given any adult, even though most of the rest of the world was still treating us like we were children. Not teenagers even, but children. She never once condescended to any of us, never made our youth a barrier to her respect, never treated us like we were incapable of being full people or like we were less than her because we were young.

I remember that she hosted our fanfiction, as absolutely terrible as it was (and I still have some of it, I am WELL aware of how cringingly terrible it is, just absolute nonsense garbage), right there alongside of other fic that was soul-achingly beautiful. Not a separate section for her friends or for kids, just right there like we were good enough to feature alongside other authors. I never once received crit from her that I didn’t ask for, only support. Only love. I am still writing today partly because Steel was so kind about our fic, fanfic and original.

I remember that when I started doing clay sculpture, she commissioned a tiny pair of dragons from me, to support me doing artwork. She sent a check my mom cashed for me, and my mom helped me mail it when it was finished. It broke in transit, and Steel assured me that she mended it and that it was still beautiful. It was a small gold dragon curled up with a small silver dragon.

I remember that her patience knew no bounds. I remember that she was there for us, regardless of reason. When we wanted to know silly things like what to do with a single AA battery, she answered. When we had serious questions about sex, she answered.  When we had questions about writing, she taught us. When one of our group members, a young gay teen in Australia, ended up in the hospital and then stopped making posts, and we all knew what had happened, she let us talk to her about it because we couldn’t go to our own parents, even though we had just lost a friend.

She was not a replacement to my parents, but she was an extra parent, in some ways. A friend, certainly, but someone that had been through more life than we had and was willing to pass on knowledge if we asked for it. Someone older that we trusted with things that were too uncomfortable to go to our parents or teachers or whatever about, because we already knew she wasn’t going to judge us or something, and that we would get an honest answer.

I don’t know why I’m remembering this so hard tonight, and I’m not sure if there’s a point to sharing this, except that I know she’s gone now. She was ill the last time we spoke, and her site went down a long time ago, and I miss her. She was a huge influence on my life, then and now. She was hope, for me, that life as an adult didn’t have to be boring, it wouldn’t have to mean giving up the things I loved and Becoming Only Responsible With No Fun. Her presence meant I had hope I could still write and play with friends even when I wasn’t ‘a kid’ anymore. And she’s gone, and I miss her, and I wanted to share her from the perspective of youth, and the perspective over twenty years later has provided me.

And I think of her, when people go off about older folks being in fandom with younger folks. I’m an older folks now, or at least middle aged folks because there are certainly folks older than me still, but I wasn’t always. I’ve been here since i was a younger folks, and I know how much Steel’s presence and support meant to me, how much she helped not just me but everyone on that group. And I think of the people saying older folks don’t belong in fandom, and that they shouldn’t interact with younger folks at all, and I just think… I can’t agree. I needed that kind of solid presence in my life back then and even at the age I am now, I need the folks older than me to stay. I want them here.

So I guess, like, if you’re here and you’re 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or whatever, I want you here in fandom with me, still. Your presence here is a comfort. It is hope. It is a reminder that life will continue to be fun, even as I get older, myself. And if you’re younger and you have this sort of elder in your groups, I hope that they are like Steel. I hope they are kind and patient and supportive, and that knowing them gives you hope for your own future. I hope in twenty years you look back and remember them fondly.

[pritou]

I’ll never forgive Fox for canceling Pitch. NEVER.

#hannibal #dirk gently's holistic detective agency #my two horses that were laid down

[pritou]

EDIT AGAIN: Both tickets are sold but check the Twickets website, there was others on sale the last time I checked.

Hello Starkid fans!

I have two tickets to sell for the Starkid innit matinee! Seats in the stalls!

Stalls R25 and Stalls R28

The sale is through Twickets, the official reselling site of the London Palladium Theater (as mentioned here).

If you and/or a close one is interested to see this awesome team on stage at the London Palladium, here's your chance!

They're at face value + twickets fees.

#starkid #it's starkid innit? #starkid london

[pritou]

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

Dir. Beeban Kidron

#to wong foo thanks for everything julie newmar

[pritou]

If you guys were on here at 11 years old what would you be posting about

#harry potter unfortunately #the unfortunate events of the baudelaire orphans #science #pirate stuff #disney #mythology #and roller skating mostly

[pritou]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

#this #especially w/ characters that are adults and seen as such #at like 25 #and now that I'm older than them by 5 years i have to somehow left them behind #them and what they made me aspire to be #in some case #but now i look forward to the older characters and found inspiration within them

[pritou]

happy 18th birthday to neil and his tunes

#neil banging out the tunes

[pritou]

April 13th babyyy

#neil banging out the tunes

[pritou]

‘relationships are work’ means ‘you have to put effort into loving each other intentionally & learning how to love each other and communicating properly’ not ‘your relationship makes you feel stressed and sad most of the time & the other person disrespects you and treats you bad but you stay anyway’

[pritou]

More: https://thetravelbible.com/top-artifacts-from-the-medieval-period/

An Illustration of a longsword technique from the Codex Wallerstein, a 16th-century convolution of three 15th-century fechtbuch (combat manual) manuscripts, with a total of 221 pages. The codex is now housed at the Augsburg University library in Germany

#the suck'him dick technique #all joke aside anvient manual are so interesting #we all have learned stuff through drawing on a page ever since the invention of books #even before that #we draw. we learn

[pritou]

As someone who grew up with "I'm not going to praise you for doing what's expected of you; that's not being good, that's doing the bare minimum" I want to encourage you to celebrate every little thing you can. Everything that takes energy and effort should be appreciated and you're allowed to be happy about trying.

[pritou]

#home is a collage of pictures of my family and pets #lockscreen is the gorgeous Good Omens season 2 poster (the one with them in the middle #heaven up in blue and hell down in green)

[pritou]

Actually, all artists will go insane if you draw art of their art. The same goes for fic writers. It could be a stick figure and we'd still love it. We're also kissing you on the lips

[pritou]

[pritou]

i know i’m cute but you can remind me

[pritou]

my pitch for good omens 3: crowley has a bitchy new neighbor who yells at him for blasting somebody to love on loop and constantly gives him a hard time about looking like a wreck after the divorce. and she’s played by catherine tate

#the fanfic i want to read #and the bonus video i want to see #go

[pritou]

my pitch for good omens 3: crowley has a bitchy new neighbor who yells at him for blasting somebody to love on loop and constantly gives him a hard time about looking like a wreck after the divorce. and she’s played by catherine tate

#the fanfic i want to read #and the bonus video i want to see #go