rottengirl666

[rottengirl666]

Just shut up already

[rottengirl666]

Binge Friday 29th of July 2022 0:00/0:06 am

-Three slices of white bread

-Cream Cheese like about 3 spoonfuls

-Two whole packages of sausages Frankfurt style

-200 ml of pinnaple soda

-Water lots

#binge #i hate this

[rottengirl666]

>Binge date 13/07/22 0:40 (it was my sister's birthday)

Everything was fine, but I fucked up.

>Food list:

-Two slices of white bread.

-Two slices of cheese

-One handful of Doritos

-One gummy thingy

-lots of aquarius

-4 sausages (Frankfurt style)

-One spoonful of rice

>Calorie count: who cares??? Me, but I'm dumb and don't even know how to count calories.

>Current emotional state: DISGUSTING

>Notes: while I was eating all that I tried to eat slowly, seeing the amount of food u was shoving in my mouth made feel horrible, my hands are trembling right now, and they also were while I was binging. My head hurts, it's hot, and I'm sweaty and tired.

#i hate this #it's not as simple as just eating #send help #TW #Ed #BED #binge

[rottengirl666]

Binge 11/07/22 2:30

-4 Frankfurt sausages

-6 spoonfuls of white rice

-2 white bread slices

-a small bag of crisps

-water a lot but not enough Ig?

Feeling stupid more updates tomorrow

[rottengirl666]

BTW I'm 63 kg now

#midoriya izuku

[rottengirl666]

I'm stupid. I ate 3 hamburgers tf!?

#tododeku

[rottengirl666]

I'm doomed... How did I let this happen????????

I know, ofc I know, but I wanna pretend I don't.

62 kg 62kg

And I'm here still eating like I don't weight that...

[rottengirl666]

I'm useless, well that's what I think I am...

[rottengirl666]

My English oral exam it's going to be next week, and I'm already prepared to the disappointment I'm gonna be facing in the future

[rottengirl666]

Well done.........

I feel the fat growing inside of me I want to rip off my skin, it's horrible, fat doesn't grow right? Then why I feel this way, idk, probably cuz you weight more than 60 kg... Ah I remember when I used to ignore these thoughts but it's impossible for me, I have to embrace these feelings in order to live, it's a necessity, if I don't then I won't succeed, that's wait I told you. I don't know anymore

[rottengirl666]

Binge #1

2:45 - 3:00 am 02/01/22

5 white bread slices

2 cheese slices

2 ham slices

250 ml lemonade

1 piece of chicken thingy that idk the name of it.

1 big ass spoonful of curry rice

[rottengirl666]

Today I managed to control myself, but I made a stupid mistake, I took a four hour nap, now I'm not sure I can sleep easily tonight, I hate myself for that, but I only had that choice cuz my mom was complaining about her existence and how horrible it is to have us as her kids, I didn't asked to be born either, but here I am trying my best to live a normal life. I want to run away but I don't have money, I feel like as soon as I turned 18 they don't want me in the house anymore. I don't want to be here either, but I don't have a job and my psychologist and psychiatrist kepp telling my mom that I'm apparently a risk to myself and cannot be left alone. I just wanted to be thin

How all of this happened?

#i hate this #it's not as simple as just eating #shit #anorexx #bulimi4 #bulimia

[rottengirl666]

I'm at McDonald's... Great

[rottengirl666]

Can’t You See Me // 0×1=LOVESONG                  ft. yeonjun & beomgyu

— for @napofastars​

Keep reading

[rottengirl666]

Three months, only three months have passed since I haven't relapsed, since I haven't put my fingers down my throat to force myself to vomit, three months eating like the rest of my family, three months since I've been trying to not take long walks like before cause of the promise I made with my mother, three months and I gained weight, from 55 kg to 58kg and I think after tonight I'm gonna weight a lot more, I'm sure I'm over 60 kg now, I feel it, I know how it feels to feel fat, you feel miserable and angry, it's draining.

I'm sorry I shouldn't let this happen, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I really am. The only thing I can do now it's to get back to my old habits, I know being like before make me feel like shit, but now being a "healthy person" just doesn't feel right, the pills are taking control over me, I know im not taking my own decisions, I know but she's always watching, I shouldn't have told anyone about this, but I was scared, scared of what? Scared of people, I didn't want to show myself to others not when I was 61 kg, not when I had long hair and fat everywhere not when I was pretending to be happy.

I was so stupid, I am stupid and a coward, I want to live alone to have control over my medication and food, but no one trusts me, I know why, but I pretend not to.

I'm sorry.

#i hate this #it's not as simple as just eating #bulimia

[rottengirl666]

Tonight I decided to wear a red dress. The worst decision I could have choose. The dress, it doesn't tighten my body, but when I look at the mirror, it looks disgusting, like a a sausage, I see fat everywhere, my legs look so huge, my chest it's so big, so big that it falls down and looks like the breast of a really old woman, I put on an oversized leather jacket to try to cover myself, but then those freanking pills are taking control over my brain, and made me take off the jacket, then the pics... Oh lord the pics... I wish I haven't seen them at all...

At the beginning I thought I was being delusional or something, but then the pics... There's no way back is it? I hate myself for thinking I don't look so bad after not purging myself for like 3 months, but, damn, idk what's gonna happen to me anymore, I missed my psychologist appointment the other day and it only made things worse, I'm falling my English classes I got a 8/20 on my essay, I feel stupid, everytime sometimes goes wrong on my life I blame it on how fat I am.

#i hate this #it's not as simple as just eating #bulimia

[rottengirl666]

So today's Christmas, isn't it? After the dinner and stuff my family decided to take pictures with and instant camera, the results? Me on my red dress looking like an overweighted pig with a serious malformation. I can't, everytime I think "oh maybe I don't look that bad" the results is always worst than I thought.

Maybe I'm gonna attached the pics later or not idk.

#i hate this #it's not as simple as just eating #anorexik #bulimia #tw ed mention