sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Liam: So, why are they...Like That?

Peter: Ah. Well, you see, Fun-Size, the relationship between Derek and Stiles is like that age-old conflict-

Mason: Bellerophon and the gadfly?

Corey: David and Goliath?

Peter: Autism and ADHD.

#teen wolf #incorrect teen wolf quotes #disaster werewolf children #puppy pack #sterek

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

favorite insomniac | spencer reid

a little warm-up exercise i just finished <3 you can't sleep, so you decide to call the only other person you know who would be awake at this hour. ~500 words

You don’t get insomnia. Usually, you fall asleep quickly and easily, and then devolve into any number of nightmares or vivid dreams or somethings that cause to you wake up feeling like you hadn’t slept at all. 

Obviously not great. But not insomnia.

You roll over once again, after what feels like hours but is probably only twenty minutes of lying as still as possible and trying to will your body to be tired. You check the time on your phone; 3:14 AM. 

Ugh. You have to be at work in less than 6 hours, awake in less than 5. Closer to 4, if you want to actually look presentable. 

You groan, scrubbing your hands over your face and barely resisting the urge to start punching your pillows. 

And then you give up. 

There’s one insomniac you know who’s got a pretty good chance of being awake right now. You've dialed the number before you can even think about it. The line rings once, and you realize what an inappropriate, quite possibly disrespectful choice this had been. You’re about to hang up, hovering over the red button, when you hear him. 

“Hey,” he says, voice raspy. 

Oh god, oh god. “Please tell me I didn’t wake you up.” 

“No,” Spencer chuckles bitterly, “You didn’t. What’s wrong?” 

“I can’t sleep?” 

His eyebrows raise halfway to his hairline. “So you called me?” 

You and Spencer are coworkers. You’re friends. You just don’t really hang out much outside of work and work-related events. Not that you haven’t wanted to, you just… don’t really know how. Or if you should. Or if it would be particularly smart. 

“I’m so sorry. I figured if anyone was liable to be awake right now, it’d be… I wasn’t thinking. I’ll let you go, I’m–” 

“Hey, it’s alright,” he says, amused. You’re the only person he ever gets the opportunity to calm down; he’s usually the most nervous person in the room. “This doesn’t usually happen to you though, does it?” 

“No,” you huff, flopping back against your pillows. “I’d ask you for tips, but whatever you’re doing clearly isn’t working.” 

“That’s nice.” 

“Am I wrong?” 

“No, you’re not wrong.” 

You make a self-satisfied little “hmph” sound. 

“What did you call me for then?” 

Something in the timbre of his voice makes your heart speed up. “I don’t know, human connection across the ether that is 3 AM?” The sense that you’re the only two people in the universe. The sound of his voice. Not that you could say that part out loud.

“Wanna go for a drive?”

Huh? “Wh– We have work in, like, 5 hours.” 

“Oh, you haven’t been counting, have you?”

“You mean like thinking ‘if I fall asleep right now at this moment I could get 5 hours of sleep’ but then I still don’t fall asleep and I watch the minutes go by until it’s only 4 and a half hours and then I get angry at myself for being awake and then I’m somehow even more awake?” 

He chuckles, dark and rich through the phone. “The classic trap. Never count the hours.” 

“Now you tell me.” 

“Alright,” he grunts, and you hear him shuffling around, “I’m picking you up.”

“You're what?!"

"I'm picking you up," his voice lilts up, almost like a question. But not like he's asking for permission, more like he's teasing you. Like he knows your answer anyway.

"Now? You have a car?” 

“Yes, now. And yes, I have a car,” you hear jingling on the other end. “You’re gonna like it.”

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Derek: I hate when people ask "are you seeing anyone?" because I don't know if they mean dating or hallucinations.

Derek: I mean, the answer to both is yes and it's the same person, but that's beside the point.

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Spencer Reid lives on TV dinners, fruit, and the food Rossi sends home with him after a team get. together

do we think spencer knows how to cook

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Scott, what did you tell him?

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

I CAN SEE YOU | Spencer Reid x FBI!Reader

Request: Congrats on 2k!!! Could you write something based off of ‘I can see you’ by Taylor Swift with Spencer please?

Description: Spencer may or may not have a thing for the cute desk jockey on the fifth floor. But little does he know, she may or may not have a thing for him too.

length: 1.2k

warnings: literally nothing but fluff, season one Spencer in mind, what a cutie (I adore this gif he is so freaking CUTE I love him)

He passed through the lobby at the exact same time every day. Usually with his head dug in an obnoxiously thick book, or fiddling with the strap on his satchel bag, or flicking his long curls out of his sweet, hazelnut eyes. Sometimes with thick round glasses perched on his slender nose, sometimes nothing but a thoughtful, musing frown. 

Not that she was obsessed with him. 

But it wasn’t hard to acknowledge that whoever the guy on the sixth floor was that seemed to stick to an incredibly tight schedule had the face of a god. 

Though she supposed he could say the same about her seeing as they seemed to enter the elevator at nearly the exact same time every single day, never saying a word, a brief nod of hello was about the extent of their interaction. One time he had pressed the button for her floor, number five, for her, and she hadn’t stopped smiling the rest of the day. 

Of course there were times he and his team would be away on a case, in which she wouldn’t see him for days on end, while she went to her lonely desk in forensics no matter what case had come up.

In the grand scheme of things, she was a desk jockey, inputting numbers and data and figures, organising files and sheets and loading ink into the printer. She was a nobody and he was part of the BAU. 

No one would even notice if she didn’t show up for the day. At least that was what she hoped as she sped walked out of the cab, her hair soaking down her back, her lungs puffing in a crackling wheeze, frantically tucking her tight shirt into her dogtooth pants, limping on her ankle that she’d rolled racing out her apartment building into the raging storm that had overcome Virginia in a matter of hours. 

She felt socks wet through as she squelched her way into the elevator, barely noticing the usual passenger that was tracing a bony finger down the page of Pride and Prejudice, quickly flicking over the page in a matter of five seconds. 

He looked up when she hopped in beside him, squeezing in as a handful of other people followed her, trying desperately to even her hair out in the large mirror behind them; only then realising her mascara had smudged down her cheeks entirely, making her look like she’d slept in a pile of charcoal. 

“Fuck,” She said loudly, her hand slapping over her mouth when she realise the deadly silent elevator full of federal agents turned to look at her, and she felt her cheeks heat as if her face hadn’t been embarrassing enough, “S-sorry,” She muttered, turning her head to the ground as she frantically wiped beneath her lids with her cardigan sleeve. 

Turning to see if he had noticed, she caught him staring right at her, and she could have sworn the heat on her face blazed even harder when she saw he was smiling into his book in amusement. 

Fuck. She repeated in her head this time, taking a small sigh of relief when the doors opened on the first floor and half the passengers trickled out onto the finance floor. 

She was still fixing her hair by the time they got to the second floor, communications, and even more people got out. By the third floor, it was just the two of them left. 

“Bad morning?” He broke the silence, and it was the first time she’d ever actually heard his voice. He was even dreamier than she’d thought, in a boyish kind of way.

“Car battery died, and the bus was full,” She murmured, fiddling with the hem of her sleeves that were entirely sodden, “And then apparently someone up there hates to see pretty girls get to work looking dry and respectable,” 

He chuckled properly, and she swore it soothed the ache of the cold rain just the smallest bit. 

“Don’t we all,” He mused, though his eyes went back to his book, flicking over the words than she figured would be possible. 

She figured he didn’t want to be bothered by the drowned rat looking woman that had all but thrown herself into the lift beside him, interrupting his reading with her curses and pitiful glances. 

It was only when they reached the fourth floor that he quickly rooted around his bag for something, likely a bookmark since he didn’t seem the type to dogear a perfectly neat page, and it wasn’t until a soft, moss green sweater was thrust in her face she snapped out of her self loathing daze.

Looking at him wide eyed, he nudged it towards her hands, and it was like Spencer only just realised that offering a stranger your clothes was perhaps not normal, but he didn’t feel like they were strangers.

She was the first person he’d ever met in the building besides Gideon. He remembered the two of them stepping into the elevator, the bashful woman already flicking through files, her lanyard hanging low over her chest as she chirped good morning to Gideon and he did the same, wishing her a good day when she stepped out onto floor five. 

He couldn’t help if he was so perceptive he’d clocked her name and position written on her ID, couldn’t help it if he was a huge fan of routine and repetition, that he purposely walked into the lobby at the same time every day knowing she was going to be right behind him just for an excuse to see her. 

No, they certainly weren’t strangers, Spencer tried to reason, yet he wasn’t even sure she knew his name.

“T-take it,” He stuttered, watching the doors close and the lift jolt as it ascended to her floor, “You can just bring it back tomorrow,” 

“That’s- I couldn’t,” She reasoned, her eyes fretful, “It’s yours,”

“I’m not using it, you must be freezing,” Spencer reiterated it with another nudge towards her, and he saw the longing glance she gave at the promise of warmth. 

Number 5 dinged above them, and the doors slid open. 

“Just take it, please,” He said, and it seemed like that was the magic word as she cautiously took it out of his hand, and melted when she realised it was softer than she’d thought, like it was made to feel like a giant hug. 

“Thankyou…” She said, heading for the doors with slow steps, as if she didn’t want to leave whatever moment he’d caught her in. 

“Spencer,” He replied, smiling at her with a shy cadence. 

“Thankyou, Spencer,” She said, and gave him her own name back. But he already knew it, and he realised he would sound like a complete creepy stalker if he’d said so. So he just nodded, a small wave off as she headed for her office and the doors closed behind her. 

He loved how she said his name, he thought blissfully, but he loved even more showing up to work day after to see her waiting by the elevator, his sweater washed and ironed, pressed neatly in her hands and still warm from where she’d tumble dried it. 

She handed it back to him with a sheepish smile, and he took it gracefully, catching a whiff of her fabric softener and felt fuzzy inside right there and then. 

“Good morning, Spencer,” She said sweetly, and he swore he wanted to kiss her the minute it left her lips, glossed with something rouge and shiny. 

But he didn’t, he just said it back, loving how her name rolled over his tongue. 

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

I need protect him, show him all the love he deserves, tell him how importan and loved he is. I just wanna take him away from all the bad things and keep him safe always. I'll kill for him, I'll die for him, I'll live for him. I'll do anything for him.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM IS TOO MUCH

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Spencer: wait, how did this happen? We're smarter than this.

Genius!BAU!y/n shaking his head: apparently, we are not.

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

i don’t really like prison/post-prison spencer…

im sorry😭 i just find nerdy losers (affectionate) more attractive

also i saw on tiktok that another autistic person didn’t like prison/post prison spencer because it felt like they wrote out his autistic traits once they realised he was “the attractive one” (cause god forbid a character is disabled AND attractive).

i’ve always headcanonned him as autistic totally not projecting and it’s basically cannon anyway and found a lot of comfort in him so when i got to season 12 (literally haven’t watched past it) i just couldn’t connect with him the same way and it kinda felt boring, which i hate to say cause genuinely love the show a lot😭

we fuckin with autistic spencer reid?

anyway hopes this makes sense 🫶🫶

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

I would do so many things to keep him safe and give him the love he deserves <3

#my sweet boy deserves only sweet things #i would fight god and the writers for him #spencer reid #criminal minds

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

the team whenever Spencer talks:

#if Spencer Reid isn't autistic I'll eat my hat #he deserved better

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Friendly reminder that Stiles Stilinksi is canonically the person who mellowed out Derek Hale. Lots of talk about how Derek went from hard-edged angry bad boy to loving, soft dilf, but let’s give credit where it’s due. It was physically impossible for Derek to not be angry since it was his anchor at the start of the show. That is canon. If he ever stopped being angry, he would lose control of his wolf. But then, oh but then, he met Stiles Stilinksi, and he became his anchor. That is also canon. There for, the reason Derek softened, is canonically Stiles Stilisnki.

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

Reblog this if it’s okay to DM you and shoot the friendship shot.

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

reblog only if you’ve received less than 1000 boops! we can all get each other to “max”

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

[sharksandsquirrelsandsnakes-ohmy]

[Waiting to be picked up from school]

Stiles: Let's go, kiddo!

Student: Bro, your dad looks like a serial killer.

Eli: ...

Eli: He kinda is.