son-of-a-butch

[son-of-a-butch]

The Sea Women of South Korea

photographs by Hyung S. Kim

“For hundreds of years, women in the South Korean island province of Jeju have made their living harvesting seafood by hand from the ocean floor. Known as haenyeo, or sea women, they use no breathing equipment, although a typical dive might last around two minutes and take them as deep as ten metres underwater. Wearing old-fashioned headlight-shaped scuba masks, most dive with lead weights strapped around their waists to help them sink faster. A round flotation device called a tewak, about the size of a basketball, sits at the surface of the water with a net hanging beneath it to collect the harvest. Some use a sharp tool to dig conch, abalone, and other creatures from the crevices on the seafloor. … “For me, the photos of the haenyeo reflect and overlap with the images I have of my mother and grandmother,” Kim says. “They are shown exactly as they are, tired and breathless. But, at the same time, they embody incredible mental and physical stamina, as the work itself is so dangerous; every day they cross the fine line between life and death. I wanted to capture this extreme duality of the women: their utmost strength combined with human fragility.” ”

read more at the New Yorker

#i often feel that people who say things like 'i cried' were perhaps exaggerating on tumblr #but i cried

[son-of-a-butch]

#i am goiing to take this advice

[son-of-a-butch]

So guys, I hate to ask this but I’m in desperate need of some help. I recently escaped an abusive living situation and am on a friend’s couch. I’m extremely broke and am currently applying for jobs, food stamps, and student loans to live in a dorm at my college. My friends don’t have very much money and I can’t mooch off of them forever so if you could Venmo me just a little bit of money for groceries I’d feel extremely blessed. Even just a couple bucks could go a long way, or if you can’t donate, could you reblog so that others might? My Venmo is mallikanne98. Thanks in advance ❤️

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

🧿 https://www.paypal.me/usriyusra

🧿 venmo:  @sapphron

🧿 cashapp: $sapphron 

so much gratitude  

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

4.12 ✦ Treasure Hunt

eddie diaz in every episode 97/∞

#ref #911

[son-of-a-butch]

#needed this today

[son-of-a-butch]

#tf #absolutely accurate

[son-of-a-butch]

Hi, if you care about us Autistic folks then please boost this

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

PSA!

If you have covid, listen to your doctor’s advice. Many of the pieces of advice here are irrelevant/exaggerated, and some could even be risky.

Fighting Covid When Kept Home

This was shared on a Covid survivor group…have heard many of these before but it seems helpful: HOW TO FIGHT COVID AT HOME when you are not hospitalized.

“When the nurse came in to discharge me, I asked her, What can I do to help fight this at home? She said:

1. Sleep on your stomach at all times with Covid. If you can’t sleep on your stomach because of heath issues sleep on your side. Do not lie on your back no matter what because it smashes your lungs and that will allow fluid to set in.

2. Set your clock every two hours while sleeping on your stomach, then get out of bed and walk for 15-30 min, no matter how tired or weak that you are. Also move your arms around frequently, it helps to open your lungs. Breathe in thru your nose, and out thru your mouth. This will help build up your lungs, plus help get rid of the Pneumonia or other fluid you may have.

2. When sitting in a recliner, sit up straight - do not lie back in the recliner, again this will smash your lungs. 

3. While watching TV - get up and walk during every commercial.

4. Eat at least 1 - 2 eggs a day, plus bananas, avocado and asparagus. These are good for Potassium. 

5. Do not drink anything cold -  have it at room temperature or warm it up. Drink Pedialyte, Gatorade Zero, Powerade Zero & Water with Electrolytes to prevent you from becoming dehydrated. Water with lemon, and little honey, peppermint tea, apple cider are good suggestions for getting in fluids. No milk products, or pork. (as a singer I know milk products produce phlegm and always advised my students to have none for 3 days before a performance)

6. Vitamins D3, C, B, Zinc, Probiotic One-Day are good ideas. Tylenol for fever. Mucinex, or Mucinex DM for drainage, plus helps the cough. Pepcid helps for cramps in your legs. One baby aspirin everyday can help prevent getting a blood clot, which can occur from low activity. 

7. Drink a smoothie of blueberries, strawberries, bananas, honey, tea and a spoon or two of peanut butter. 

We always hear of how Covid takes lives, but there isn’t a lot of information out there regarding how to fight Covid when you are not critical. I hope this helps you or someone you know, just as it has helped me.”

(Wow, @thetimetostrikeislater  wish you’d had this info when you were ill)

@cptdorkery  @fortheloveoftrekuniverse  @peridotsarelongterm

#covid

[son-of-a-butch]

Sooo I got triple charged on a bill and the company is refusing to reverse it and it’s left my account uhhh, like this. And I don’t get paid for another two weeks.

So kofi donations would be greatly appreciated if anyone can spare some help.

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

at this point I’m just laughing at my own jokes

#dc #the first one REALLY got me

[son-of-a-butch]

What abusers believe.

If you’ve ever had to deal with an abusive person in your life - like an abusive parent or partner - you’ve probably wondered what made them treat you that way. If you understand why abuse is happening, the thinking goes, you might be able to figure out how to make it stop. 

So why do abusers do what they do? Do they have anger issues? Drinking problems? Past trauma? Personality disorders? Do they just need to get in touch with their feelings and learn how to communicate better?

Nope. 

Abusive behaviours come from abusive beliefs. Abusers - whether consciously or unconsciously - hold specific beliefs about relationships that drive their behaviour and allow them to justify the horrible things they do. Even if your abuser has never put their beliefs into words, you’ll probably recognize a lot of these abusive beliefs:

You are responsible for my emotions. It is never my responsibility to reflect on my emotional reactions or learn better coping skills - it’s your responsibility to stop doing things that make me angry or upset.

I must act on my emotions. If I am angry, I am going to lash out. You have no right to criticize me for that, and it’s not my responsibility to learn to manage my  emotions - you have to stop making me lash out at you. Asking me not to act on my emotions is controlling and wrong.

You will always be responsible for my emotions. Even if the relationship ends, you will continue to be responsible for my emotions, and I will expect you to continue to prioritize my feelings.

If I have feelings about something, it’s my business. If something you do or think causes an emotional reaction in me, then I have a right to get involved or tell you what to do. My feelings must be the priority. You don’t have the right to tell me that it’s none of my business. 

You must judge me on my intentions, not my actions. If I didn’t mean to hurt you or scare you, then you don’t have the right to be hurt or scared. No one has the right to try to hold me accountable unless I meant to hurt someone.

I get to decide what your intentions were. If you hurt me, you meant to hurt me. If you make me jealous, you meant to make me jealous. Nothing you do is ever accidental or unintended - everything you do is intentional and malicious, even if it was a response to something I did.

My feelings are genuine; your feelings are manipulation. If I’m upset, my feelings are real and important. If you are upset, you have an ulterior motive - you’re just trying to be manipulative and get attention or sympathy for yourself.

You have freedoms because I allow you to. Every freedom you have in your life - like wearing what you want - it’s because I generously allow it. I expect you to be grateful to me for that. I have the right to take those freedoms away whenever I want, and I expect you to obey.

If you set boundaries with me, you are mistreating me. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t set boundaries with me. You are doing this to intentionally hurt me, which means I don’t have to respect those boundaries.

You holding me accountable for hurting you is worse than me hurting you. My pain at being called out is worse than your pain at being mistreated. If I feel bad about something I did, I have already been punished enough. You trying to discuss the issue or hold me accountable is just your way of abusing me.

If I apologized for something, you have to forgive me. If the relationship has ended, you have to reconcile with me. You don’t get to ask for more time apart or more discussion of the issue - once I’ve apologized, the matter is closed for good.

The relationship is not over until I say it is over. So long as I want a relationship with you, you must have a relationship with me. Your feelings are irrelevant. Even if we have broken up, you must remain available to me so we can get back together in the future. Not wanting a relationship with me means you are mistreating me or being immature. 

I am the authority in this relationship. I am smarter and more perceptive than you. I know what is best for both of us. My version of events is always the correct one. I have superior judgement, taste and opinions. If you question me or disagree with me after I’ve given you the correct answer, you are disrespecting and mistreating me, or you are simply immature and incapable of knowing what’s good for you.

I have the right to control you. It is my absolute right to decide what you do and who you associate with. You have no right to disobey me. I am owed obedience and control; if you don’t give me those things, you are wronging me and cheating me out of the relationship I deserve. 

If you resist my control, I am allowed to do whatever I think is necessary to get it back. Once you’ve resisted me, I am justified in whatever I do to regain control of you. I am not responsible for my actions when you resist my control; you forced me to do it, and it’s your own fault. 

I should be your main focus. Everything else in your life comes secondary to me. When you make decisions, my feelings should be your first consideration. You are expected to make sacrifices for me and put me at the center of your life; I am not obligated to do the same for you. 

If I spend money on you or do something for you, you are in debt to me. You spending money on me or doing things for me does not erase your debt to me, and I am never in debt to you. You are indebted to me for as long as I decide. I may decide that your belongings and earnings also belong to me, since I allow you to have them. I may also decide at any time that you owe me for gifts I gave you, even if they were meant to be gifts.

I am not abusive, and you are not allowed to tell me otherwise. I know what abuse is, and real abusers are significantly worse than me. If our relationship has ever had any good times or positive moments, it can’t possibly be abusive. If you accuse me of being abusive, you are the one abusing me, or you have been led astray by bad influences. 

Relationships should be effortless (for me). I am owed a relationship that is peaceful and requires no real effort from me. It is your job to make sure we have that kind of relationship. If there is any tension or conflict in the relationship, it is your fault, and you are depriving me of the relationship I deserve to have. 

Abusers and victims alike often buy into the narrative that abuse is rooted in anger issues - after all, abusers are frequently angry, and anger is an issue that can be treated. But this narrative just isn’t true. Abusers aren’t abusive because they are angry. Abusers are angry because they are abusive. 

A non-abusive partner is not someone who has learned how to control their rage whenever you spend time with your friends or get home 15 minutes late from work. A non-abusive partner just doesn’t feel any rage in those situations. An abuser’s rage is firmly rooted in their beliefs about relationships - they feel entitled to a relationship that meets their impossible expectations, and when they inevitably don’t get it, they bubble over with fury. Whether they know it or not, they have firmly entrenched beliefs about how relationships should be, and those beliefs are at the heart of their abuse. 

Can abusers stop believing these things? Maybe. If they can acknowledge that they have these beliefs, accept that these beliefs are dangerous and unreasonable and let go of these beliefs, maybe it’s possible for them to no longer be abusive in the future. Maybe. But it’s not your job to hang around and find out. If you’re in an abusive relationship of any kind, you deserve better. There are many people in this world who don’t hold abusive views of relationships, and you deserve to find happiness with them. 

#abuse cw

[son-of-a-butch]

#yUP

[son-of-a-butch]

Lads I really hate to do this but I'm taking $7 fic commissions currently. I have to move by August first to a new city, get an apartment, furniture, food, and wifi for school.

My PayPal

and my ko-fi

If you can't commission me then please at least reblog. I want to be able to live

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

paper folding | paper umbrella 

#ref #origami

[son-of-a-butch]

ok hi. im officially homeless again. i held off from making a post but things arent getting any better. i kno i ask a lot but im desperate to have food & a place to stay. anything helps, truly. i was able to get a motel for 2 days thankfully but other than that ive been in my car. im with my brother as well and he thinks he might have covid from working in nyc the few days he was able to work which isnt surprising. ive also been feeling sick lately but that could b countless of other things ig.

its getting rly hard having 2 fight 2 survive everyday. i have no meds or insurance and its rly fucking scary how fast my mental health is declining. overall this is a very shitty and scary situation so pls if u can donate anything itll save my life.

paypal

kofi

venmo:

pls reblog this if u cant donate.

#boost

[son-of-a-butch]

when he

((youtube link go show support <3))

#honestly incredible