The Ninja as Things My Friends and I Have Said
My friend keeps a quote-book and I thought y’all would enjoy this lol
Jay: say your last words to me, I’m about to be smited
Jay: I am so bright, I am star
Kai: Pickles and Dick
Jay: Pickle my dick?
Kai: PICKLE AND DICK!
Lloyd: TICKLE MY DICK?
Kai: I want to play hot potato with a hand grenade
Lloyd: this chocolate milk mocks me
Kai: Can we all agree that when Jay walks he looks like a flamboyant gay drag-queen toddler
Lloyd, looking at a tampon: is that a cheese stick?
Kai: Where you at you little hoe?
Cole: Don’t do gay it’s not healthy
Jay: I live life as a pirate. Because a pirate is free
Jay: The sun's only up for half the year in Alaska
Cole: We have that too. It's called nighttime
Morro: Lick his nuts, they have a sorta Mexican flavor
Kai: I need to be surrounded with seven beautiful naked women in order to sleep at night
Lloyd: You know how there's like a line between bravery and stupidity?
Nya: Jay is that line
Jay: Disclaimer: I am an anxious bean
Wu: It’s not your fault but it is your problem
Cole: I can't keep a straight face anymore. It's gay now.
Lloyd: That was such a late reaction it could've been my dad coming back
Zane: DISCO PENIS
Kai: I wanna stand around and look GORGEOUS
Kai: I'm outrageously good-looking
Zane: No you’re not
Lloyd: I admit when I'm wrong!
Kai: Oh yeah. But I'm like never wrong!
All of the ninja, always: It would be so much fun to hurt a bad person
Zane: what state do I live in?
Jay: depression
Kai: cool onesie... can I get inside it?
Lloyd: They call me Santa. I bring snow to the children.
Kai: Don't fucking giggle you little shit.
Nya: I will beat you with a meat stick
Cole: You moan more than the dumpster out back
Wu: Don't stick the plungers on your foreheads!
Garmadon: whY are you SMelLING the plungers?
Zane: How does one piss in a watermelon?
Lloyd: When I become 99 pounds I'm going to eat a pound of chicken nuggets so I can be 1% chicken nugget. It's indisputable.
Cole: It smells like SHIT. Like it smells kinda okay now, but it still smells like shit. So it's like. Perfumeshit
Jay: Your socks are untied
Lloyd: Morro can just molest himself
Jay: Can you please not get a fucking locker smaller than my self esteem
Zane: You be smellin your own shit soon
Jay: I already do
Zane: Get it? Cause your mom gay.
Everyone: ...what?
Lloyd: My name's Lloyd and I wear shoes sometimes
Nya: Unlike Skylor, they actually like balls
Kai: Fuck fuck fucking fuck fucking fucktown
Jay. I’m about to go commit space heater in bathtub
Kai: Vaccines make you gay
Lloyd: It’s not because I’m Asian, its because I eat rice so much
Zane: Hi. I’m Zane. ... my dick fell off
Kai, to Lloyd: Your dad is my fuckbuddy. ... wait. Shit.
Lloyd: You didn’t miss. You hit me right in the fucking nipple.
Kai: Eat my dick
Nya. Bite off your own dick
Cole: Your face looks like you're trying to make your dick fall off
Lloyd: So we were sitting watching TV eating macaroni with a fruit roll-up soaking my feet in a trashcan
Jay: I’m gonna go commit visit Pompeii in time machine
Jay: How can spiders fall from the ceiling and just skrrrrt away
Kai: Because none of us can speak proper sentences
Kai: Hold on. I'm sending a meme. I can't fight.
Jay: Engulf your own dick
Jay: Please don’t have a Boston tea party in my back yard
Kai: Still it felt like I committed a minor crime in Iran with all the water in my nose
Jay: Sensei Wu, please throw scissors... I kinda wanna die
Kai: I got royally fucked
Jay: Get your meaty luscious legs
Jay: The fuck you mean take my pants off? They're always on! Cause no one wants me to take them off!
Lloyd, picking up a napkin and seeing food fall out: IT’S BIRTHING
Zane, threateningly: Give me your kidneys
The Overlord: Where is your technology stored?
Zane: I can balance my body on my boner and spin like a beyblade
Kai: My balls are not a muscle
Cole: So apparently I'm not the only one with asymmetrical balls.
Lloyd: Wait actually?
Cole: Well yesterday Kai gave us a very descriptive description of his balls
Zane, sarcastically: Gosh darn don’t you hate it when you're not allowed to bring your 5 dollar footlong subway to training
Lloyd: So he poked me in the back with a pencil and my third grade self was like, "BLASPHEMY"
Kai: You.... dickmuncher
Jay: We're playing infinity Life. It's like Life but the cars are infinity stones.
Kai: I could have divine gay sex and it would still be nohomo.
Cole, during some super serious training: Bake me into a pie daddy
Kai: a compliment sandwich, like this: I like your shoes, YOU SUCK, your eyes are pretty
Zane, to Lloyd: Don't KILL her! Too much paperwork!
Jay: Stop moving your butt. It's uncomfortable when you clench it
Cole: The STICK.. will be UP YOU!
Kai: My ASS is your spot!
Jay, teaching Kai to roller skate: First, we master walking
Kai: I know I’m beautiful and perfect and amazing and huMBLE
Lloyd: I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
Cole: I'm allergic to emotions!
Zane: Yeet is not a valid Scrabble word
Kai: I love myself 3000. And you should, too. Love yourself, that is. Unless you wanna love me as well, cause that’s cool too.
Zane: Is doing drugs illegal
Lloyd: Post-traumatic stress? More like spicy memories
Jay: Be quiet so I can see
Cole: Why is my wallaber grinding its ass on the floor?
Kai: Whatever, my ass cheeks are balanced ... just as all things should be
Garmadon: IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE SOMEBODY THINK YOU WERE GONNA HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR!
Sensei Garmadon: First of all, nobody says they're fine when they're good
Lloyd, getting himself a donut: A chocolate frosted donut for a chocolate frosted child
Nya, about Harumi: I just loathed her at first sight. Like your dad!
Morro, about Lloyd: He reminds me of a cucumber.
Cole, after becoming human again: I’m like Jesus... I thirst
Lloyd, sipping apple juice out of a shot glass: I'm just... done, ya know
Jay: Zane was eating my popcorn and I was like "hey that's my popcorn!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes "surprise communism!"
Lloyd: I consumed a spatula
Jay: I almost burned down my house making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Zane, after Jay climbs on his back: Unmount me you heathen.
Kai: Yeah it's been such a dick-licking long time
Karlof: In Metalonia we do not have sister, we have brother with pussy
Zane: I want to delete my meatsack
Little Lloyd: At about 10 I was so hungry so I went to the med tent and pretended to be fainting so I got crackers
Garmadon: Before we leave I'm gonna sing a Disney song to attract all the females. Especially Misako
Jay, about to get sunburned: I know right, sunscreen is gross, you look like a glazed donut after you put it on
Cole: I like nuts but not that much. ... both kinds... I like my own nuts.
Zane: Hi I’m Zane and I’m the only one in this group with any form of common sense
Lloyd: Oh there's just someone throwing up over there!
Kai: That’s hot
Cole, having a cashew thrown at him: I don’t want to swallow your nut ... I DON’T WANT YOUR NUT
Lloyd: My uncle is going to sacrifice my body
Kai: Okay. You ALL can eat MY ass
Lloyd: A picture will last longer than your family will
Garmadon: That last rep was like a hydroflask and this one was like a kleankanteen
Kai: I bet for a second he was like "oh my God they care about me"
Kai: Because no one would be ballsy enough, no pun intended, to whip his dick out and piss on a crowded bus
Jay: Fuck a duck
Lloyd: Please just dont ..ff... a duck
Jay: But the duck likes it. It goes quackquackquackQUACKAFLACK.
Lloyd: Digiorno? More like I'm fucking hungry
Lloyd: My socks are so wet tis but a small price to pay for salvation
Kai: No means no muchacho
Dareth after failing at spinjitzu: Now I'm just dizzy and my ass hurts
Zane: I said, Cole, don’t orgasm in public, it’s rude, and Cole started moaning as loud as humanly possible
Lloyd: Say cheese!
Kai: Whiskey!
Jay: Who the fucking dammit
Jay: Spongebob square-nuts
Jay: Actual- ACTUALLY it WOULDN’T make me more of a smartass because my SMART has yet to be caught up with my ASS
Lloyd: I hate it when my foot becomes the itch
Kai: STDs are like pokemon, you gotta catch em all
Kai: Here y’all are like "I like them 'cause of how they hold themselves and whatnot" and I’m just like “GIRL PRETTY"
Cole: I hate it whenever my foot becomes the gay.
Kai: I’m shit at being a person, not a shit person.
Zane: Buses turn me on
Jay: No pissing in our VSCO hangout!
Lloyd: Are y’all on high?
Kai: Its gotta warm up to start lavaing, now it’s just lamping.
Kai, crying: When I was crawling through the sewer my hair got stuck in my knee pit and ripped out a chunk
Lloyd, deepthroating a plastic recorder: I’m blonde so naturally, I'm good at this
Kai: I’m depressed. I’m stressed. But at least I’m well-dressed.
Lloyd: Nom nom milk carton
Cole, playing Life: Give me children
Jay, on a Thursday: If Friday was a Tuesday, it would be today
Kai: We're eating lotion and calling it spicy butter ... it’s spiritually spicy
Kai: I don’t fucking know! I'm not a cheese wheel!
Zane: Beepbeep bitch what's that? My lie detector smells a lie
Lloyd: I aced two tests today! The PSAT and the rice purity test!
Pixal: I don't really get the phrase "dry as bones" because your bones are in fact, wet
Cole: Kai, Kai, we can draw you as one of those anime girls. With humungous eyes. Actually no, it doesn't matter what the size of your eyes are. But your boobs are HUGE.
Lloyd: Jay wants to become the Alpha hoe
Cole: STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD AND SAYING IT FEELS GOOD
Jay: Deli sandwich equals cold hamburger
Lloyd: How was your day?
Cole: Good. I have pie dough in my water bottle
Jay: If we do that we can reach our minimum requirement which is our goal
Kai: You can taste the freedom in that nacho cheese
Lloyd: I lust for the crust
Garmadon: You dirty-minded fools!
Anyone, to Skylor: You sucked the fire
Lloyd: OHMYGOD WE GET TO COLOR WITH CRAYONS!
Nya: Not to be lesbian or anything... but DAMN
Jay: No means no in Spanish
Kai: Bro saxophone is literally the sexiest instrument alive
Wu: The only wrong answers are the ones I don’t agree with
Kai: Look, why do you need to be a bottom to suck someone else's cock?
Cole: Jay, you suck
Jay: More so than you do?
Kai: Wait... wait you mean like you suck at the game or you’re better at sucking than he is?
Kai: WE CAN WANT YOU SEXUALLY TOO
Cole: That's not kinky, that's just abusive
Lloyd: CAN WE STOP USING THE TERM “BLONDE BITCH”
Cole: That’s not how you do it! Straddle me HO!
Kai: I didn’t mean to kick you in the coochie!
Jay, I’m the distance: Be genital with her!
Cole: Yeah, also Jay tackled me and then grabbed me in between his legs and Kai jumped on top and Jay smacked his ass and I tried to record so Kai tried to smack my phone out of my hand and missed and his finger went right in my eye so I rolled over screaming and they got up and threw pebbles at me
Cole: It sounds naked! Music!
Kai, to anyone after they say Wu seems chill: He looks like a big soft squishy man but he is not
Zane: On average, in order to feel happy, you need to be touched, (pokes Jay) 8 times a day
Kai raises two fingers on each hand: I’m about to make you ALL happy"
*every person at the table in unison scoots away*
Zane: You looked like lord farquad but in a cute way!
Jay, after getting a pizza shoved at him. The pepperoni sanitized my facehole
Kai: I am the WITNESS! VICTIM! And I will play ... the e x e c u t i o n e r .
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