The Wheel of Time character types:
The Dumb Puppy - aka - Serial Imprinter - aka - Won't Get A Single Break From Now Until the Final Heat Death of the Universe... Or After.
Tiny and Angry - aka - The Sleeping Berserk Button - aka - The One They're Not Gonna See Coming Until She Rips Out All Their Throats.
'If my middle name wasn't Spite it would be Fuck You' - aka - The Duck Mother to the Very Dumb Baby Ducks - aka - Will Spend at Least an Episode a Season Inside a Tragic Romance B-Plot - aka - Had The Braincell, Temper Made Her Lose It (she contains multitudes).
The Violent Sunshine Character - aka - Would Sucker Punch a God for a Homie She Met Two Hours Ago.
If Evil, Why Hot?
The word 'Nap' isn't in her vocabulary but it should be - aka - Can't Have 'One Nice Thing' for More Than Two and a Half Minutes - aka - Allergic to Feelings.
'There's a big sign that says Don't Touch The Red Button... I'm gonna touch the Red Button.' - aka - Who is This... Self Esteem You Speak Of? Never Heard of Them.
Voted Most Likely to be Adopted by a Hundred Random Strangers - aka - The Wolves Would Like Him to Get the Braincell but it Fell on the Ground and the Ground is Lava.
Doesn't Get Paid Enough for this Shit - aka - Clinging to the Last Braincell With the Tips of His Fingernails - aka - 'I can't believe I of all people am willing to have a single goddamn conversation here.'
'Fine I'll Do the Babysitting But You Owe Me So Much Booze' - aka - The Aunt That Once Forgot You In the Mall - aka - The Aunt That Gave You All the Safe Sex Tips and Traumatized You For Life - aka - The Aunt That Would Absolutely Bury a Body No Questions Asked.
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"Y'all would really kick babies just so Astarion would approve."
Um...no? Do you realize you don't have to be pure evil to get him to like you?
I'm over here playing my bard as a chaotic good/neutral little shit and I gained his approval REAL fast in Act 1:
I screamed "BAAA" at the redcaps
Defended Karlach against Wyll, and then later Mizora
Told Kagha "I just wanted to see what would happen" after saving Arabella from her
Fed the Owlbear cub and later pet him
Shouted "Boo!" at Volo's singing
Threw dung in a goblin's face after he tried to get me to rub it on my face
Intimidated another goblin to kiss my foot after he tried to get me to do it to him
Refused to accept Raphael's help upon first meeting him
Let him bite me
Listened to him talk about Cazador and offered my support
Let the Laviatar worshipper beat me
And I did all of that before I even encountered the Gur monster hunter that's tracking him, found the necromancy book that I ended up giving to him, or started his romance. I didn't even do all of these before his approval was in the High range. Not once did I hurt an innocent person.
It's really not unheard of to follow the "good" path and still have him like you. Granted, he does call you "a bit naive in the ways of the world" later on in Act 2, but at that point, he still respects the hell out of you.
No doubt that there are some players who would do cruel things to get Astarion's approval early on, but not all of us.
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Can’t stop thinking about Elayne trying to figure out what's going on at the end of season 2
Elayne: who is the slouchy looking one with the knife-stick?
Egwene: that’s Mat and we don’t know where he’s been for six months
Mat: Hello! I'm a hero of the horn!
Elayne: so let's put a pin in that. and who's the dude with the shield?
Nynaeve: Perrin
Elayne: why are his eyes gold?
Nynaeve: genuinely no clue
Perrin: it's because of the wolves I think
Elayne:okaaaaaaaay and the redhead who I healed from a stab wound infected by a darkness so intense that he'll bear the pain of it the rest of his life?
Egwene: that’s Rand my boyfriend. Well, he faked his death because he was afraid he’d go insane and kill everyone he loved, so relationship status tbd
Elayne: mkay. So uh - what was up with the big fire creature in the sky?
Nynaeve: we don’t know what that was and we don’t know where it came from
Rand, from the other side of the tower where he’s been pretending not to listen in: oh I think Moiraine made it and THATS why Lanfear had to punt her out of the waygate
Nynaeve: what?
Elayne: you mean Moiraine Damodred my aunt?
Nynaeve: WHAT?
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they really like double downed on the fact that Elayne is a weirdo nerd with no friends and I love it tho 😭
Like she literally just latches onto Egwene because she’s the first person she saw and was like “I make potions under my bed” and gave her unsanitary toilet wine and was like “I don’t have friends because I’m the daughter heir and for no other reason” and then was like “we’re gonna be a legendary duo 😏” and then was like “um actually I know all about white tower history and that’s not how that ter’angreal works but I have some statistics do you wanna know how many novices are gay on average?”
She’s my daughter heir so much 😭
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elayne trakand, establishing intimate soulbonds with women left and right, yearning for said women to be close, surrounding herself with women warriors at first chance
robert jordan: she's so heterosexual you guys
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Elayne Trakand, starved for affection and friendship, seeing the most platoniclly co dependent weirdos of this age:
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siuan, watching as elayne follows egwene everywhere with puppy eyes and does everything she says: yep, definetly a damodred
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