#(005). musing !!

[skitskatdacat63]

For @sansebastinae and @boisinnot, my fellow saint seb truthers :)

+ the usual

Yayyyy finished a drawing! Haha only took me...2 weeks. I kept going back and forth on whether I could finish it tonight, and I really wasn't going to. But then I looked at the unfinished version on a different screen and was like oh? Not too bad actually?? So I finished it :) First of all, ofc, here is the process. Kinda weird seeing it for smth like this, it makes me feel like I'm the painter in rennaisance au, not Mark dhjfkf

Ah I was gonna draw a silly renaissance au comic to accompany this(read: lighten the mood), but it's 5 am and I've still not really drafted it well, so! I'd like to finish it at some point bcs I wanna draw more chibi comics, but when I finish smth, I can't help but immediately want to post it, so part 2 will have to wait. I'll show you the outline though so you can at least imagine 😭

^ So many renaissance and beyond paintings of Saint Sebastian are always the most horny thing ever. Like pre/early rennaisance, yeah he was naked and all that, but they were pretty chaste, and uhhhhh suffering?? Well the newer paintings are suffering, but in a different way, if you know what I mean.

So I feel like Mark's the type to be overly pedantic about it, and refuses to make borderline porn of a saint, I mean, god forbid, Seb!!! But then he just. Does anyways. Because he can't control his lust for Seb even when drawing him half dead. I just imagine him holding the paintbrush in a death grip like "must not be horny. Must not draw him sexy. Must make him chaste." And then he ends up with the one seen above. Seb is all smug about it. "Wow you'd wanna fuck me even while I'm all bloody and dying? 🥺"

Mark: "oh I'll make you bloody, alright."

But god so funny to imagine Seb doing all these different slutty poses, like arching his back as much as possible, the cloth nearly falling off at all times, etc etc. And Mark finally lands on this pose bcs he hopes the suffering will outweigh the horny. It doesn't. Also Seb is genuinely serious once he actually gets into the pose, focus mode on. And honestly that's even worse for Mark, bcs it's so much more arousing to see Seb in his element, focused. Tbf I think Seb could be drinking water, and Mark would still find some way to sexualize it. Don't look at his sketches!! They're just filled with Seb doing all kinds of random activities.

Also! Here is the painting I referenced this off of, must give credit where credit is due ofc

The Dying St. Sebastian by François Fabre

Also this isn't really relevant in the context of this drawing specifically. But I looked thru a bunch of Saint Sebastian paintings while trying to find one I could reference, and I came across this middle ages one that actually looks so much like boy king seb 😭 I guess it really is meant to be!

St Sebastian between St Roch and St Peter by Pietro Perugino

Lmao but do you see the difference between early rennaisance and later work???

#i cannot control myself anymore i must draw dark things :) #past 3/4 drawings have had blood i think 😭😭 old habits returning #BUT THIS SAINTLY OKAY ITS HOLY ITS FINE #also 005. when i said id draw you a saint seb seb i meant it!!! #<- tho mostly you changed your username when i was already drawing saint seb 😭 #but i was gonna dedicate it to you anyways :) so funny coincidence #i wasnt gonna put any lore in the read more cause i didnt think i had any #and then i did. as always. #if is say i have nothing to write just give me a min and i will sjdkfk #i dont draw nakedness im surprised this isnt too bad 😭😭 #also im happy cause i stopped myself from stressing over it being too overly detailed #loose fabric my behated 😡😡 but then i realized. i dont have to kms over it so i didnt! #still looks pretty good :) but i mostly like his torso face and hair ahhhh #lol also ik saint seb fits older seb better but. i like twink seb okay 🫣 also its an au thing so #MAN I WISH I FINISHED THE COMIC ACCOMPANIMENT #but it just wasnt clicking and i ended up drawing this first instead #but yes humbly please take my seb offering #f1 #formula 1 #<- again absurd to tag this at this point but idc #sebastian vettel #sv5 #catie.art. #martian #<- not inherently in the drawing itself BUT ITS THERE #tw blood #rennaisance muse au

[stillsolo]

                       //  2   /   ??

#( . summer hasn't started yet but it's already 95F/35c so :| #˒・*。◞ 005 : ( verse ) ᴅʀ. sᴏʟᴏ. *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɢʟᴏʀʏ‚ ᴋɪᴅ. ғᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɢʟᴏʀʏ. #˒・*。◞ 013 : ( verse ) ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ. *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ɪᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀs‚ ɪᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʟᴇᴀɢᴇ. #˒・*。◞ ( visage ) ʜᴀɴ sᴏʟᴏ. *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ sᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴄᴏʀᴇʟʟɪᴀ. #˒・*。◞ ( musings ) *･ﾟ✧ ⎸ ᴀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏғ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴏᴄᴏʟ. #edit : 001 #( . need to separate my edits... a tag for han edits and a tag for gifted edits 🤔

[saburaito]

playing with the idea of a high fantasy verse for sabu so that he can be more easy to interact with for certain types of muses :thinking_emoji:

#✞ ( 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ) / 005. #i probably will do this because there is a lot of really good high fantasy muses out there that i miss out on

[morangcs]

here's a starter call to get things started, so like this post if you'd a small starter from one or more of my muses <33

#i'll come to you for the muses !! #005. MORANGCS ( starter call )

[thehouse-o-girth]

Homura's been awfully quiet over this situation, leaving Celestia to do all the talking... How's she feel about this? Not the timeline she was expecting to deal with?

"To say that it's the least expected outcome would be the smallest way to put it really." "Despite what seems like hundreds of times I've woken up to the first of the month and the cycle repeating as it does, somehow I've been casted away into somewhere that's completely off course."

"Normally I'd blame the cat and say it's the reason I'm here, but I'm not even sure if it would be capable of doing such a thing, and even if it could... Why decide to use it now rather than earlier?" "Either way, I haven't been thinking much about food and smaller things that aren't involved with figuring a way out of this house."

#muse: homura akemi #ask: 004 #House: 005 #sandwichsakurauchi

[turojo]

Already guessing surly wizard who side eyes everyone asking for magical advice cause he’s a high leveled professor at some magical college or on the fringe of society artificer who’s uneasy about company at first but then won’t shut up about his inventive and never before seen technology and advances in magic + machinery for turo.

Both neutral evil and nearly turns on the party for some self motivation/conservation at one point. Just nearly.

#ooc. » .001 ✦ #dash. » .005 ✦ #mobile mode #I have thoughts about the dnd classes my muses would be like ten times over hHh

[linagram]

Back for round 3 with the idealization duo theories! These two both suck as people, but their crimes were actually a lot of fun to theorize on.

Prisoner 005: Kei Sanada

Okay, so I actually finished a theory on him, went to start Eiko’s theory, and then abruptly realized I’d completely missed some vital evidence that completely changed the picture. So here I am, rewriting the entire theory. (This is actually fun though, I was waiting to get to this dude so I don’t really mind doing this again.)

Anyways, the vital evidence here is actually at the end of Eiko’s profile, of all places. Let me quote the relevant paragraph real quick (emphasis mine):

Kei and Eiko definitely have their own theme as well and honestly, it feels like they actually have two themes. I seriously can't decide which one should be their "official" theme, so.. It would either be something like "Idealization" (What if someone who you admired/loved so much turns out to be not as perfect as you thought they would be? Would you accept that? Or.. would you try to change that?) or "Betrayal" (If someone who is very important to you betrayed you, what would you do? Would you hurt that person back or would you rather hurt people around them to express your anger?)

Now, without getting too into Eiko’s deal, we can assume the parts “Would you accept that?” and “Would you hurt that person back” apply to Eiko, leaving “would you try to change that?” and “would you rather hurt people around them to express your anger?” to apply to Kei.

This is a BIG DEAL, because it gives us a framework for Kei’s murder: Kei admired/loved somebody who “betrayed” him by not living up to his idea of them, and he retaliated by hurting the people around that person in an attempt to change them to fit his idea of them.

As for who that somebody was… yeah, obviously it was his muse. Literally who else would it be. First of all, we had like an entire MV dedicated to Kei’s relationship with his muse, of course he’s important to Kei’s crime. No point in spending all this time establishing that Kei has a guy tied up in his basement if it’s not plot-relevant. Secondly, we SAW Kei making shoujo eyes at him in the MV, he literally calls them “the only person who knows how hard it is to be.. well, [him]” and “the only person in this world who can inspire [him]” in his profile, and he also calls them “the most precious person in [his] life” when talking about his last memory before Milgram. He clearly loves the guy, in an extremely twisted, fucked up way.

As for his actual murder victims: the hint Kei gave the guards was “five”, and there is an unexplained shot of Kei photographing five women at the start of his MV, so I’m inclined to believe the two things are connected. I don’t have any actual evidence that those were his victims, but… why have him photograph that specific number of women at the start of his MV if there’s no connection?

For murder location and method, we know it’s his house and his Undercover kill shot depicts him standing on his tied-up victim’s neck. I’m inclined to believe that actually is how he killed at least one victim, just because we know fuck-all about the actual murder part and there’s no evidence that ISN’T what happened.

Also, since Kei’s muse was (unwillingly) living with him, and Kei killed his victims at his house in retaliation/an attempt to “change” his muse… odds are he killed those people in front of his muse, right? At least, that’s what I’d expect Kei to do.

Final thought: Kei’s song lyrics are interesting? For those who don’t know them off the top of their head, his Undercover lyric is “UNDER, I gave you what you wanted, so why do you say I'm evil? There was no ‘safe word’, you signed up for this yourself”, and his T1 song preview is “Let's do it already, I can't wait any longer. One? Two? Sure, I'll go with five! Just tell me what you want, I'm okay with anything, don't be shy, I've done worse things. Let me take my rose-colored glasses on, so that I can pretend that this moment is better than it actually is.” Not sure what to make of the Undercover lyrics, but “let me take my rose-colored glasses on, so that I can pretend that this moment is better than it actually is” makes me think he might have known he was fooling himself but kept going anyways, probably because he liked the way his muse made him feel?

Prisoner 006: Eiko Yoshioka

Honestly, I think this one is fairly easy? (Very funny how so far every pair has one murder that takes me all day to figure out and then one murder that takes me like an hour to hammer out a theory on.)

So, three things to note about Eiko before we move on:

Eiko is clearly a serial dater of the worst breed: the kind that’s looking for their “perfect” partner but won’t even consider that maybe they have some work to do on themselves too.

Eiko seems to be a perfectionist in general, saying “perfect” or some variation of it like once every ten lines and saying she’d want to plan everything about her ideal date in advance to make sure it was perfect in the fourth question of her QNA.

I’d bet dollars to donuts Eiko’s family is heavily involved in some sort of organized crime. Beyond Eiko just having massive mafia/yakuza princess vibes, it’s stated in her profile she’s committed multiple non-murder crimes, her mom seems unusually chill with her daughter confessing to murder, and Eiko jumping to dismembering a dude in her living room instead of just keying his car or something makes me think she’s from an environment where violence is just an accepted tool for solving problems. More circumstantial evidence is Eiko calling her mom “the head of our family” in her QNA (weird term for a parent, but normal for the head of a criminal organization) and that one use of “us” at the start of her VD (maybe it was force of habit from representing her family in conversations?). Plus, she’s paired with Kei, and I’m pretty sure the Sanada parents are career criminals too (maybe yakuza enforcers if I had to guess specifics, considering how everyone in that family is WAY too comfortable with violence and both Kei and Eiji seem to know how to seriously harm somebody without killing them).

Anyways, with all that out of the way, here are the events of the crime as I think they went down.

Eiko met her victim over the internet and fell in love with him. She considers this her first love, as evidenced by the first question on her QNA.

Eiko got lowkey obsessed with this dude. She constructed an idealized version of him in her head, represented by the mannequin in her MV. This idealized version was partially fuelled by the way her victim presented himself online, and partially fuelled by Eiko’s desire for a “perfect” partner and willingness to project what she wanted onto him.

Something happened, and the victim stopped being online as often. This convinced Eiko to go talk to him IRL, and once she met her victim in person for the first time, she realized he wasn’t like what she imagined at all.

Eiko took this VERY poorly, and being a mafia/yakuza princess, decided the most logical response to her first heartbreak was to bring the dude over to her house and dismember him in her living room, rather than just keying his car or getting some ice cream or something.

A while later, she called her mom to tell her what went down, got into some sort of argument with her, ended the call by throwing her phone across the room, and then got kidnapped and taken to MILGRAM.

So yeah, that’s my guess as to what went down. Only other things I have to say are that if I had to guess, I’d say Eiko’s mom told her to chill on the soulmate-searching and that’s what set Eiko off, and Eiko seems to be fully intending to continue her behaviour if she gets out, which is probably bad considering it’s resulted in a murder. (Not like she would have changed her mind even if we’d voted her guilty, though.)

And that’s a wrap! Next is the hunger/greed duo, Asahi Yano and Yurika Maruyama!

these two are definitely some of the most problematic prisoners here sdhsjsksk. i think it makes them more interesting though.

now, just like with shun, i can't talk much about kei's crime without spoiling anything, but i will confirm some things and answer some questions:

kei's muse really is very important to him and he played a huge part in kei's crime. that's also the reason why kei's mv is more about his relationship with the person he kidnapped and not about his murder: kei simply cares about that guy more. kei can talk about him for hours, but he won't say anything about his crime. (here's a small hint: we already know that kei did illegal stuff even before committing his murder and he enjoyed it and was even kind of proud of it (at least that's what he says). then why does he still refuse to talk about his murder? why do we still have no information about it at all? why would someone like kei try to keep it secret? try to think about his personality: kei is okay with doing anything if it simply makes him look more cool, strong, interesting, attractive, etc.. does he think that his murder will make him look more "weak"?)

kei's muse is definitely the main reason why kei's theme is "idealization", however, kei just.. likes to romanticize everything and pretend that everything is better than it actually is. that's one of the reasons why eiko is smarter and calmer than him. sure, she's a perfectionist who killed a guy for not being good enough, but he was the only person she had such high expectations for. and let's just say that kei also has his limits and when he realizes that his world isn't as perfect and fun as he wants it to be.. he doesn't take it well. so, kei's muse actually isn't the reason why kei's other theme can also be "betrayal". it's something (or someone?) else.

also, i should mention that this guy kinda gave up at some point and got used to living with kei. maybe he even enjoyed it in some way?.. though it's not possible for this guy to enjoy anything. kei definitely had to do some things to make him more weak and easier to control, but overall, the guy actually was fine if we don't count how many times kei had to hurt him for those photos. he was more loyal to kei than akio's follower was loyal to akio.

those women will play a much bigger role in kei's t2 mv. that's all i can say for now.

OHHHH KEI'S LYRICS ACTUALLY REVEAL SO MUCH. all i can say for now is that kei's song lyrics don't refer to his muse and they're actually about his murder and his life in general. same goes for his undercover lyrics.

now, for eiko's crime: her crime is pretty easy to solve compared to kei's.

that guy was actually eiko's first boyfriend (if you can even call him that). she's never dated anyone before him and she wasn't even interested in romance that much. the guy was just a very good manipulator.

kei and eiji's parents don't participate in any organized crime (but they're still horrible people who do some very bad things for a living), but eiko's parents do! they really are members of the criminal organization (not exactly mafia/yakuza though, but still.. yeah, it's bad) and that's why eiko's mother is okay with her daughter killing someone and even helps her in some way. that's also why eiko accidentally said "us" in the beginning of her voice drama. i also should mention that eiko's mother was more powerful and dangerous than her father and eiko worries about him more than she worries about her mother.

i can't say much about eiko's argument with her mother, but her mom actually didn't say anything about eiko trying to find her soulmate. she was just being her usual self and their conversation actually sounded very calm and normal, but eiko still got angry at her.

#haha it's so fun to think about t2!kei haha <3 (it's not. i'm crying actually though this guy deserves it) #watch me reveal more info about his muse than akio's follower HSDJSKSDKL #anyway everyone say thank you to akio naomi and eiko for having crimes that are so easy to understand #❔answering asks ❔ #🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓 #💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎

[fwancis]

blinks cutely at you

#♰ ‵ . 005 musings ⸻ gods are stubborn && so am i #this is the only thing thhats been in my drafts

[smokedanced]

@blackflcgs said: 💥or ’smack’ // sender smacks receiver in the face (for Izzy but they’re kraken era banging about it)

INTIMIDATION AND VIOLENT RP PROMPTS    /    ACCEPTING ↷

He gives a little,  rather unhinged laugh,  as Ed hits him. The air in his cabin is thick with both anger and sexual tension; Izzy knows where this is going, knows this dance well enough, dances it eagerly enough...

❝ That the best you got? ❞    Because Izzy doesn’t want Edward to stop there. Because his cock is stirring with the residue tingle of where Ed’s hand met his cheek, because that’s barely gonna bruise, and he wants... wants to be bruised, marked. If Ed cut him, he’d be pleased about it, and god if that doesn’t make him a fucked up little shell of a man, but he’s beyond caring.

He shoves Ed noisily against the wall. Boldly, grips him by the wrist to move his hand to feel his arousal through his trousers. It’s a delicate thing, wrangling Edward; this is where Izzy needs to provoke (and, perhaps, almost reassure: Ed’s hand against Izzy’s groin is as good as him saying I want this, you’re not abusing me, even as he doesn’t have the words to express such things here and now), dangerous as these waters can be. This is what they do: roughen each other up, until Izzy yields and Ed takes him, and it’s the best, most deranged sex he’s ever had. However, there’s always the threat... Comes with the territory, comes with Blackbeard. One of these nights, Ed might decide he’s had enough. One of these nights, Ed might decide to kill him, instead. And honestly... it’s a win-win, either way, as far as Izzy is concerned.

#blackflcgs #i don't even know how to begin to cw tag this loool #is there are term for consensual but not safe or sane kink that is shorter than... well that #; izzy hands ❪ muse. ❫ #; izzy hands ❪ verse / main. ❫ #; edward teach & izzy hands ❪ blackflcgs / connection. ❫ #; blackflcgs / ed & izzy / 005 #bad kink etiquette cw #lemons cw #mentions of: #suicidal ideation cw

[adellc]

seduce and destroy. pierce and enjoy

nome: adella

idade: 29 anos

qualidades: convincente, energética, extrovertida, persistente

defeitos: rancorosa, vingativa, impulsiva, influenciável

gostos: mar, fazer as unhas, mini saias, batom vermelho, flores, calor, sol, espelhos, cantar

desgostos: comidas apimentadas, altura, frio, insetos, pesca

biografia:

Já sabia que não era a favorita, mas não tinha problema com isso! Adella sempre foi confiante e gostava de pensar que sempre teria tudo que quisesse - porque se esforçaria para ter! Diferente das outras irmãs que temiam os humanos, Adella sempre pensou que era injusto que ficassem apenas no oceano enquanto os humanos tinham todo o resto - queria conhecê-los e entendê-los, aliar-se a eles ou quem sabe destruí-los.

Quando as irmãs foram a Tão Tão Distante, não perdeu tempo em segui-las. Percebeu então que a vida humana é bastante diferente da que esperava - e logo se apaixonou. Se apaixonou uma, duas, três, muitas vezes. Percebeu porque eles eram considerados maldosos, porque eram capazes de partir corações muito fácil. Mas Adella era persistente e remoía os corações partido dentro do estômago. Partiu a ser ela a partir! Seu hobby? Seduzir e destruir. Tornou-se especialista em tornar as pessoas tristes - e a cada vez, sentia-se melhor.

Atualmente, Adella tem trabalhado cantando - em bares, restaurantes e onde bem entender. Foi desenvolvendo uma habilidade comum em sereias de utilizar sua voz e sua música como forma de entrar na mente alheia. É capaz de convencer e também de fazer com que sintam emoções diferentes.

#001. development #002. convos #003. sms #004. visage #005. musing #006. extras #007. fashion #008. ask game

[bloodyscarlet]

— scarlett

i’ll always be insaciable.

nome: scarlett

idade: 23 400 anos

ocupação: dançarina na fangtasia

personalidade: forte, elegante, presunçosa, mimada, insaciável, descontrolada, autoritária, inconsistente, organizada

gostos:

desgostos:

headcanons:

Scarlett foi uma recém criada que deu muito trabalho. Gerava massacres e destruições em massa, era forte demais e sempre ansiava por mais e mais sangue. Insaciável. Um outro vampiro foi capaz de coloca-la no eixo e seguiu por alguns anos o acordo que Drácula fez em Tenebris - ela respeitou, até que as ideias de Carmilla começaram a se disseminar. Questionou muito e teve lapsos de descontrole - até hoje tem dificuldade de manter-se completamente saciada e controlada sob a sede de sangue.

Em algum momento se apaixonou por um humano e acabou o matando, em uma crise de descontrole.

wanted connections

amizades antigas, amizades recentes

alguém cujo parente/amigo ela matou :)

exs rolos, rolos atuais, rolo tóxico

clientes da boate

má influência (ela), boa influência (muse), má influência que instiga ela a beber sangue humano quando bem entender

inspiração pros poemas que ela escreve, alguém que tenha achado os poemas e descobriu um ponto soft dela

vizinhos

#001. development #002. convos #003. visage #004. musing #005. fashion #006. ask game #007. wanted connections #008. extras

[morangcs]

STARTER CALL like this if you'd like a small starter from one or more of my muses !

#001. morangcs ( out of character ) #005. morangcs ( starter call ) #i just added some new muses i'm excited to write for !! #i'll come to you for the muse !

[thehouse-o-girth]

So, what is the house itself like?

What exactly is the layout, right now at least...?

(Hmm, it seems that will be a common thing...)

"Well... In terms of layout, this house seems like you'd expect from an average suburban home... There's two bedrooms and a bathroom, which works well for both of us. A washing room, a kitchen that actually connects to the living room here, and stairs that lead down to a basement door, which I can't seem to open at the moment..." "No matter what way you cut it... It's a house."

#muse: homura akemi #ask: 005 #House: 010 #anon

[fidelissimi-moved]

( text: from harrison to gio renaldi ) happy father's day gio. thanks for bringing my future wife and baby mama into the world. if i can raise my daughter to be half as strong as yours, i'll know i've done good.

( text: harrison morgan ) hey son. happy first father’s day. hope my little girl and yours are treatin’ you good on this big day. i don’t think you got nothin’ to worry about. renaldi women always raise even stronger renaldi women. if anything, ya gonna need a prayer for patience and more patience. 😆 but i promise you somethin’… no one loves harder and more true than they will. you’re a lucky man, kid.

#005. guest muse: giovanni renaldi #003. partner: awalkoflife ( harrison morgan ) #awalkoflife

[criticalfai1ure]

alt verses, an incomplete list :

wyn.onna earp / wild west -> hugo, tangerine, jb & kiki, doc (alt revenant)

stranger th.ings -> hugo, thad, diego, max, roy,

te.d l.asso -> tange, jb & kiki, bernie, hugo,

supernatural beings -> hugo (werewolf), tange (vamp), thad (witch), jb (witch),

gri.shaverse -> hugo (inferni), tange (heartrender), jb (fabrikator), thad (1. healer/tailor; 2. sun summoner), max (1. sun summoner; 2. heartrender), henry (otkazat’sya amplifier), doc (durast), diego (durast), matthias (alt tidemaker), ivan (nichevo’ya possessed), jack (pirate, tidemaker?), bernie (oprichnik), gus (post-parem corporalnik), august (squaller),

modern catch-all -> jack (single dad), max (time rift), bernie (ren faire/roller derby), slightly (thief), matthias, baz,

historical catch-all -> hugo, jb & kiki, thad,

money heist -> jb (orléans), hugo (secaucus),

tua -> tange (assassin), thad, jb,

pkmn -> bernie, hugo, the gbs,

dnd -> bernie (fighter), diego (rogue), hugo (rogue),

kingsman -> tange,

p.jo -> hugo (son of hephaestus), bernie (daughter of athena?),

#i needed a place to keep track of things until i figure out how i want to set up a verses page. #000 ( ❖ ) ─── ( ooc ). #005 ( ❖ ) ─── verse ( tbd ). #i didn’t include muses whose main verse is listed unless i have an au for that same verse (like doc and my gv lads).

[steviexwagner]

Stevie Wagner's Wedding Outfit

#easthavenevent005 #event;005 #stevie wagner ;; musings