#(2020 was shitty but im doing great rn)
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Has literally anyone in the band ever said they dont like danger days?? I've seen some gatekeepers getting on their high horse about how they only played one dd song last night and how the "posers must be fuming" and one specific person tried to argue that the members don't like it. But I physically can't find any evidence of it beyond the tour being a generally shitty time for them?? If anything theres more evidence that they DO like it? Sorry if this is weird or pointless but I can't tell if this person has actual proof or are just pulling shit out of their ass because they don't like danger days lol
UGH. im on mobile rn so im not gonna link to specific interviews but they all love the album and talked a lot about how proud they were of it when it came out, and how writing it was actually a very fun and harmonious process. it was controversial in the fan base at the time of its release (partly because of the major aesthetic change the band underwent, partly bc it was pretty heavily advertised in a way some fans felt was disingenuous i guess) and it undersold the black parade, and then their world tour following it also didn't sell as well as expected. they even ran out of money to make the third mv they'd planned in the na na na/sing universe, so compared to the black parade it was technically a commercial failure. in hindsight, gerard especially has said that tour was a very bad time mentally. it was certainly hard for both him and frank to be away from their children. but they were never anything but proud of the album itself and made that clear in interviews. the only vague negativity from the band i can think of was when frank did a lengthy interview for...i believe ap? in late 2020, where he spoke about his whole career, and touched on the breakup of the band. he mentioned being disappointed that they didn't end up releasing the conventional weapons songs and said he thought in hindsight they should have worked on danger days for a little longer because some of the songs as they are feel slightly incomplete to him, and that was one of his only regrets relating to my chem. The ONLY other thing is an offhanded comment their producer, rob cavallo, made when speculating potential reasons for the breakup, when he said that maybe in hindsight he thought frank was struggling to find parts to play on danger days. but frank himself never confirmed that (he actually made a point of saying there was no tension between him and ray during dd), and in my opinion his guitar parts are much more interesting and less sparse on most danger days songs than they are on most conventional weapons songs, so i'd take it with a grain of salt. i think the gritty simplicity of cw is just kind of more to frank's taste than the more instrumentally conceptual sound of dd, so offhanded comments he's made about that have stuck in people's minds as negativity towards the album maybe.
i for one am very grateful we got to hear conventional weapons in the end because some of those songs are up there among my very favourite mcr songs, but im inclined to agree with what the band said over and over again at the time that scrapping cw as an album to release danger days instead was definitely the right choice. it sounds cliche to say but it was definitely a bit ahead of its time. if my chem had come back from the hiatus with an album that was just a collection of really good songs, and not an actual event with a concept and aesthetic and clear thematic thread, i think it would have been a disservice to the band's core mission statement, which was always to be subversive and unexpected, and to lean into the weird and take the risk even if it meant being misunderstood. conventional weapons is great, and it even kind of addresses some themes similar to danger days (dissolusionment with the state of the music industry, life in that side of LA etc) but it does it without any of the grandiose metaphor and pageantry and uniting aesthetic that's gerard's biggest strength and a huge appeal of the band, yk? anyway. it's fine to not love danger days of course, everyone has their opinions, but it annoys me to see people putting words in the band's mouth. "that was a bad time in our lives" =/= "we don't like that album we created together." also they've played sooo much dd at other shows...you don't see anyone going around saying they hate bullets when they've played entire shows this tour with zero bullets songs on them 🙄🙄
#like if anything bullets seems to be frank's least favourite album but nobody wants to talk about that 🙄🙄#anyway bullets and danger days are in love and holding hands and mirroring each other and i'll hear no slander against either of them#even if it's from frank iero himself. but he wouldn't because he is proud of all of their albums#SORRY this got long again lmao sigh. but i feel you anon i feel you#answered#mcr talk
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@pduwd you're probably the best person ive meet this year (even if its online but i do intent to come see you like i said i would im just poor) and you inspire me so much and gave confidence i needed it and you're a great person and friend 💙 te quiero martita
#ily ily ily#my wife guys#(im gonna sleep but expect sappy julia till new years)#(im gonna send love message to everyobody)#(2020 was shitty but im doing great rn)
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Okay, I don’t usually post much myself on here but I have some stuff I wanted to say about this past year, and since not many people I know follow me this feels like the best place to do it. 2020 was super shitty. We all know that. The majority of the year was spent inside my house with little social interaction. Towards the end of the year I could feel myself getting progressively more numb and just empty-feeling. But this year also had some good parts for me which I at least wanna acknowledge.
I joined multiple fandoms that, although they stress me out sometimes, have some really awesome communities and have helped me find a bunch of awesome people and artists.
I also actually managed to maintain an online friendship for more than a month for the first time ever ( @logic-cat , idk if you’re asleep rn but I’m glad we became friends. I’m not good at getting all emotional when directly talking to someone, but becoming friends was one of the better parts of my year, so thanks for talking to me about my interests even when you don’t fully understand them and telling me about yours. This is my first real experience with having a friend online and it’s been super nice to have someone to talk to even if we don’t get to see each other irl.)
One of my irl friends, @runningloondong, moved recently and even though it’s been weird not having her to talk to in person (even though we didn’t do much of that thanks to the pandemic) Im glad we’ve managed to stay in contact, and she seems happier now. Pls keep talking to me, I miss you and I like knowing how you’re doing now and having someone to talk about fandom culture and weird tropes with.
I actually found my sense of style and figured out some things about myself I had been thinking bout for a long time, since I had so much time to think to myself. I finally got rid of some toxic people this year that I’m better off without in my life, while also finding some great people. I had almost daily calls with my best friend (who isn’t on tumblr unfortunately) which helped me stay sane rn.
I just wanted to post this to remind myself, as well as anyone else who may need this reminder, that even though this year was pretty terrible overall it had some good moments, and to hold on for those and not completely lose hope no matter how grim, hopeless and numb you may be feeling in the moment. I’m going into 2021 with no real expectations, good or bad, because we all know how that went for 2020. I’m just glad to be free of this daunting year. Happy new years everyone, I wish you an awesome 2021.
#my post#Idk why but I just felt inspiredto write this suddenly#Like i said im not good at getting emotional or sappy like this often#especially on#social media#but yeah#I didnt wanna just have all this stuff in my head
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toffee!
no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)
mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*
hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao
okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?
YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.
hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*
no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.
oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?
ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.
that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!
ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol
<3 w.a. 🐺
at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.
i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.
"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.
some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.
okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.
please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.
oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.
good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing.
i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.
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Oh... my god. I am mortified what was that ask hahshsjajs. I also thought it was so calm and soohisticated when I sent it?? At least it made you laugh. Oh god now I‘ll never go off anon oh myyy! Let us just forget that ever happened. Although I think beer nony sounds kinda cute not gonna lie. 🥺
So first of all: How are your feet?? I think mine would have like 50 blisters if I‘d be in flip flops for six kilometres!
To jump right in: This week proved to me that I will not be able to uphold the investment into my blog I had in 2020. I passed a pretty important test I barely studied for and almost all my friends failed and I felt so bad for them and then I realized how shitty I have been with my studies so I will definitely have to start prioritizing those again! It‘s weird, I always loved to do stuff for uni but that decreased immensely the moment I had to start doing it at home. But I gotta get a grip! I think it‘s really good to still use it as a creative outlet so have to agree on that with you!
And as I live in Europe I also have to agree with the anxiety around Covid. I feel these next few months will be hard again, but after that I do believe that hope or a positive outlook should be very much welcomed. I can‘t believe this year to be like last... I‘ll keep my fingers crossed that you‘ll get a better developement! And also what you‘re doing will help, like taking yoga classes again which is great! My back is so messed up I have like physical therapy but I also try to stretch on a daily and at some point I‘ll try yoga again when not everything literally hurts. What do you like most about it? Because I have the feeling I never really got to the relaxation point of it? So I guess I still don‘t understand that quite well.
It has hilarious!!! And you were sophisticated trust me 🤍 from now on you’re beer nony
My feet are okay! No blisters but my skin is all hurt on the sides and between my finger toes :/ I’m more of a crock girl, so this is the price I have to pay for betraying my crocs 😔
Ok but are we literally the same person??? I also love studying and going to uni and I have amazing grades but since online college began it’s been soooo hard for me to keep up with it. I don’t have much advice to give you about it, but you seem so confident and sure about what you need to do! That’s so cool 🤍 what are you studying? If you don’t mind me asking
Sending you lots of love 🤍 I know people from Europe are feeling sad again and I get it, if we go back to lockdown I would feel like shit- but vaccines are coming soon, luckily things will change for the better, and this year will be a little bit better than 2020
I looooove yoga! If you want to start I definitely recommend going to a class with a good teacher (whenever that’s possible again), you get to chat with everyone and they can help you with your back and you have guidance for the meditation and stuff. rn bc of COVID I’m not attending any classes, I’m only doing some YouTube classes just to stretch and get back on track (I used to be able to do a headstand! And I want to do it again lol), but it’s not the same and it’s not really fun if it’s your first time. I think what I love the most about yoga is just how flexible it makes me feel and how in contact I get with my body- im very clumsy and I’ve never been good at sports or anything body-related, but yoga makes me feel so great about me and my body. And it’s also related to your mindset and your life, it’s therapeutic in that sense, so the relaxation and meditation comes along with that as well
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oh ok so i watched 4 and a half horror movies yesterday heres a quick rundown on my thoughts on them
color out of space - 10/10 would recommend. true to the original story but also a great modernization. deals excellently in the establishment and building up of dread and terror and the delivery of the horror. one of the few depictions of lovecraftian horror that i would say was competent and knew what it was doing and how to do it. knew what to show you and when to keep you invested for the most part too. if you really wanna get a kick outta it id recommend reading the original lovecraft story or listening to someone on youtube read it to you - theres just some things that were pulled from the book near directly that i super appreciated given that ive read/heard the story a couple times. easily a new favorite horror movie. id peg it as a good mix of Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) for onscreen depictions and Egger’s The Lighthouse (2019) for general mood setting and how i felt as i watched it.
martyrs (2008) - 0/10 exactly what i expected from a torture po/rn film directed by a man about women and abuse victims. does that thing horror movies like to do where they act like theyre saying something but all theyre doing is huffing farts and serving as a medium for a man to get off on violence against women also was shitty towards abuse victims and billed as “almost unwatchably brutal” when in reality what made it almost unwatchable was what it had to say abt victims of abuse and trauma
host (2020) - 8/10 standard paranormal activity type movie, but made entirely during quarantine and set in a zoom call. gonna hit different after we’re done with covid-19 and no longer doing this stuff, so watch it asap for the novelty. also its only 50ish mins long so bonus points for getting in, getting to the point, and getting out. lots of ‘jumpscares’ but thats a bit par for the course. overall i found this one well executed and charming, and appreciate it more for the novelty of its timing, relevance, and how it didnt try to drag on. it is exactly what it says on the tin and doesnt pretend to say anything or be anything greater than it is which is why i appreciate it.
hell house llc - ehhh ill say 7/10. i enjoy found footage and fake documentary horror movies a lot so i liked this one, and im currently halfway through the second movie and planning on watching the third bcos im invested in the plot. its not bad but not particularly stand out for a horror movie. i enjoy that its story revolves around a halloween haunted house attraction gone wrong tho bcos i always love the shows that come on in october about various haunts around the country and how theyre made and ran
hell house llc ii: hotel abbadon - ill get back to yall on this one but see above👆 for thoughts on its precursor. im halfway through this one and its not bad but its rly not any better than what came before it either. still invested in finding out whats going on in the place tho so i mean. thats good enough for a sequel movie. plus theres only 3 of them rn so its not like the amityville franchise with its like. fucking 20 entries that are each worse than the last
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y’all quick rant time about the new years. a lot less sad than my other ones
right. im just ticked bc im having a weird feeling and its not making sense. i dont think 2018 is real. like just as a gut feeling or whatever, 2015-17 have been pretty real to me idk why but they have, feel like a real year, i still like the sound of 2017 a lot better than 2016 for some reason etc and i always do struggle with adjusting to a new year i guess? bc of habit writing down dates. but i feel like 2017 came naturally and it was expected. but 2018? nahhhhhhh. thats not real. not a good number, not a good sound does not exist and is not gonna be a real year. for some reason im apprehensive bout 2019 bc thats a lil whoo in the retro futurism but im ready for 2020. fuck knows why. 2020 is gonna be the next real year.
unfortunate too considering last two new years have been p shitty. *then again most years have not been great* (yea i maybe have problems with setting up expectations from media and talk that my own family doesnt follow through with nor are inventive or fun, so i get ‘depression spikes’ around holidays and birthdays. idk. i gotta look into that) anyway. sometimes new years is like stadning in the snow taking a sip from their sparkling wine looking at neighbours fireworks. or just sparklers. never our own fireworks unless w a big group of their friends. or wed melt tin but not do it again for years bc oops inconvenient apparently. here the first year we went to hyde park in the dark w the family and i wasbeing a grumpy pissed off baby for some reason i cannot recall (but i usually am around family i guess.) and the other year i just sat at home watching the fireworks on tv and listening to them through the window while my parents went out. ive spent many a new year just on my computer. not that they suck but its kinda sad
right but yea ive been dreaming of being with friends and having a set up party to celebrate new years with people i choose to spend time with and make it special who want to also make it special like we expect it. basically i wanna be the pinterest mom who makes everything extra and pretty rather than (sorry) my mom for whom a few balloons and streamers are a lot of party decoration. tbh thats another rant. my moms a p good human, like what she does in her work and doesnt upset anyone i guess and has friends. but shes quite a bad chef and baker and fun person. m never going to miss my moms cooking or baking, bc i do all the baking and while ive been gone i feel like i cook better for myself. not even missing her taking care of me bc i think i can handle it pretty well on my own, despite a few phone calls for support. as well as she likes to nag about things making me shut down and be pissed (why do they trigger this response in me so quickly? its not fair to them, but they do and i guess thats a thing i gotta work on iin theeraaapyy or whatever i end up doing)
fuck im really looking forward to seeing the mental health advisor and getting to a therapist councellor psychologist anyone asap. i just wanna get settled w someone good and actually sort these out. bc recently everything feels like a dream and ive not changed out of pjs or been out of bed for days. i dont feel like i can leave the house w out my parents (unlike at uni i could go on walks or shit by myself and not meet anyone who questions it) and bleh meh i feel like my dads mad at me for holing myself up and being grumpy all christmas and in general when being interacted iwth, as well as not wanting to do anything i should do like go shopping or get my hair cut while im here. im just being miserable really and i want it to stop and know how to explain to them why i think theyre part of the problem when obviously to an outsider or to themselves, theyve never done anything to cause me to be like this.even i cant explain it. its just too many little things i guess.
fuck where was i going. i mean yeah right, this was about new years.
so originally again parents are going to a party and i was going to be alone home bc i know nobody in london. not even my old school friends live here/are around rn. so lo and behold im dragged along to my parents and their friends house touring meals all in one day, and im ofc with their friends daughter and her friend, who are genuinely llovely and way cooler than me, and even though theyre older im the first in uni, whoopwhoop. and her dad is funny and they have a dog. and they invited me to join their new years party. hahhahh holy fuck yay. theyre all very genuine about it, saying id fill in the table as the 6th person and balance the girls and boys, and that bc id be there theyd celebrate finnish new years as well as their danish and the current uk one. and apprently were for dinner and to play cards against humanity and did i mention they have a super cuddly and wonderful white dog? anyway. apparently i now have plans for new years and i hope itll be wonderful. ofc i gotta be polite and get over being awkwarad at the same time and figure out how to get home politely so i dont have to spend the night there bc i dont like staying over unprepared and i really dont know them super well. anyway. tomorrow im gonna shower bc im disgusting, and bake finnish pancake bc i have now promised, and go over to spend maybe 6 hours w them and have a genuinely nice new years eve and im really looking forward to it
im just not looking forward to 2018 cancel it, skip it, idk i just dont want that number. im gonna call it neo 2017 sure. redo 2017 and then next year 2019
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