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#(this has been in my drafts folder for eons)
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This is just a post where I say that Remus is a Death Positive and Sex Positive icon.
That is all.
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farmhandler · 3 years
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Bittersweet
Bittersweet
Rating: M
Pairing: Sendak/Shiro
Warnings: Daddy Kink, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Daddy Sendak, Bottom!Shiro
CH: 8/?
WC: 5K~
Read on AO3 | Read the whole series
A/N: I did forget to post ch7 on here so go read that first!!! Enjoy ch8~
Hearing his voice after so long was tougher than Shiro would have imagined. It didn’t help that when Sendak picked up only two rings in, the first thing out of his mouth was “Shiro."
There was no hello, no question as to who was calling or what he might want. Just his name, breathed with reverence.
“Hi,” Shiro said, pausing after. He was still driving, so he had the road to focus on and keep himself from shooting his phone constant glances. “So, um, hey. It’s been a while.”
Sendak didn’t say anything, which boded well.
“I was wondering. I mean—I got the call from Ulaz. But that’s not why I’m calling,” he hastened to add. He tapped his fingers rhythmically against the steering wheel to help keep himself calm. “Though I wasn’t expecting that. You still find ways to surprise me sometimes.”
More silence. Shiro licked his lips.
“How are you doing? You haven’t had any issues since I saw you last?”
Immediately Shiro wanted to slap himself. I know you almost died, but how’s it going?
Still there was no response. He glanced at his phone, but he wasn’t muted.
Did Sendak not want to talk to him that much? His fingers went tight around his steering wheel. Shiro was starting to suspect that calling Sendak had been a mistake. If he was going to give him the silent treatment after they had agreed to a break, then maybe they weren’t ready to have this conversation.
He was about to say as much when he heard Sendak’s voice crackle to life from his speakers.
“I’m doing well,” Sendak said, in a tone Shiro wasn’t sure he’d ever heard. His voice sounded wet, like he was seconds from crying. “Are you…” There was a painfully long pause, and when Sendak continued, his voice broke. “Are you well?”
A wave of longing and grief slammed into Shiro so hard that his knuckles gripping the steering wheel went white. He swallowed a few times before answering.
“I’m okay,” he said. “Can we talk?”
“Yes,” Sendak replied with immediate understanding. There was no need to ask what Shiro meant. And this time, he sounded much more collected. “I would like that. I would—” he paused. Shiro prayed he wasn’t about to start crying because he didn’t think he could handle that, and he still needed to see to be able to drive. “I would like to see you.”
“We can do that.” Shiro hesitated, but couldn’t stop himself from adding, “I’d like to see you, too.” More than ever. “Where do you want to meet?” Tapping his fingertips against the wheel, Shiro considered his options. There weren’t many. He would prefer it to be private. “…My apartment?”
“I will take you out.” Shiro opened his mouth, but Sendak was still talking hurriedly, likely anticipating his response. “To a local eatery. It would be a neutral space. For both of us.”
Oddly touched by the consideration, Shiro blinked at the road slowly. His thoughtful tone was unexpected but not unwelcome.
“That sounds like a good idea. What time works for you? Assuming you’re working the same schedule, how about we meet at seven on Friday?”
Friday was still several days away which would give Shiro plenty of time to prepare.
“Friday it is, then.”
“Friday.” Shiro nodded to no one. He felt the sudden urge to keep the conversation going and keep Sendak on the phone. He wanted to say what was on his mind; he missed him, he loved him. But those weren’t the things he needed to say in that moment.
“See you then, Sendak,” Shiro said instead. It took all his willpower to hang up.
Shiro didn’t think he’d been this nervous to see Sendak since the first day they met.
He had changed his clothes four times—the first two because he felt he was trying too hard, and the last one because he thought maybe he looked like he wasn’t trying hard enough. He didn’t want Matt or anyone to know what he was doing in case it gave him second thoughts, so he was going at it alone.
This is ridiculous, he thought. He lifted a black turtleneck he was considering. Spring had not yet sprung, so he still had time to wear warmer clothing. But if they were going to sit inside, drinking hot drinks and eating hot food, he knew he might become uncomfortably warm. With their conversation looming overhead, he anticipated being sweaty enough.
Shiro ended up wearing one of his favorite leather jackets with a long-sleeved T-shirt underneath. Midway into the relationship Sendak had bought him an expensive, very nice leather jacket, but he didn’t want to wear anything Sendak had given him. They needed to be on equal, even ground for this conversation.
With his wallet, keys, and a manila folder in hand, Shiro went to their meeting spot early. It always seemed like Sendak had to tear himself away from his work, so he anticipated waiting a while.
Much to his surprise, half an hour early wasn’t early enough. When he walked into the pizza place and looked around, he spotted a familiar figure seated near the back.
Sendak sat in a booth by himself, casually scrolling through his pad. He didn’t see Shiro come in, but it wouldn’t be long until he smelled him, so Shiro took the opportunity to watch him and take in the sight he hadn’t seen in almost two months.
God, he had missed him. Two months was enough time to bend the longing into a fierce ache.
Sendak was wearing a sweater that somehow fit his frame perfectly. It was black, which came to no surprise, and the tufts of fur peeking out from the edges of the sweater were too adorable for words.
Keep it together, Shiro. You’re still supposed to be angry. At least a little.
While Shiro had been deliberating how to best approach (aside from the obvious), Sendak had spotted him. The moment his eyes locked onto Shiro he sat up straight, setting his pad down and staring at Shiro with an intensity that made his face begin to flush red.
He stood from the table just as Shiro waved and began walking over. Sendak’s eyes never left his.
“Hey, Sendak,” Shiro greeted once he was close enough. “It’s—it’s good to see you.”
His greeting fell somewhat flat. And upon closer inspection, it was clear that Sendak had not been taking care of himself properly. If this were their first meeting, Shiro wouldn’t have been able to tell. But they had been dating for months, and he knew what his fur looked like when it was kept up at the bare minimum. Brushed and shiny, but only on the surface.
There was no point in acknowledging what he saw though, so when Sendak repeated his sentiment he just nodded.
“I took the liberty of ordering ahead so you would not need to wait,” Sendak added stiffly. His shoulders sagged a little at Shiro’s stare. “I thought it would be quicker. Should you wish to leave for any reason.”
It was a flaccid excuse, but Shiro didn’t call him out on it. He thought about how best to answer and decided on, “Thank you. You know I’ll eat just about anything as long as there aren’t any olives.”
“No olives,” Sendak agreed awkwardly.
While they spoke, his fingers were slowly curling and uncurling into fists. His eyes kept darting towards Shiro’s neckline. Standing there in a sweater and jeans (jeans! Shiro hadn’t seen him in jeans in ages) at a casual pizza joint, he couldn’t have looked more uncomfortable.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really glad you’re okay. And I really appreciate you meeting me here like this.”
Shiro had aimed for polite and congenial, but he couldn’t hide the aching notes in his voice. Sendak breathed out a sigh that was more like a groan.
“I have missed you,” Sendak said. He took an aborted step closer. “Our time apart has given me much to think about.”
“Yeah?” Shiro swallowed. “I missed you too. Let’s sit down and talk.”
They didn’t sit down. They stared at each other, standing in the middle of Emerald City Pizza late at night, seconds somehow stretching into eons.
Sendak stepped into his space and Shiro let him, barely resisting with a single hand pressed against his broad chest. Shiro ducked his head, and Sendak followed him, leaning in too close for comfort, his breath warm on Shiro’s cheek.
"You smell like... Ulaz,” he said lowly. He brushed his cheek softly over Shiro’s, nuzzling him in a gesture so familiar it made Shiro want to cry. One of his claws teased at the edge of Shiro’s shirt, like he was seconds from rectifying that little fact.
“I know,” Shiro replied, turning his head to meet his eyes. He didn’t let his gaze waver, making sure Sendak understood that even if he did, that was none of his business. “Let’s sit down. I have something to show you.”
Sendak released him and they sat down. Off kilter from the unexpected start, Shiro spent a few long moments adjusting the papers inside the manila folder to give himself a reminder of his goals and the main purpose of the meeting. Once he brought it into the light, Sendak stared at it cautiously. Even with his limited expression, Shiro could tell he was distrustful.
“I spent the last few days drafting these. I ended up needing a little help, but I think I got the job done.”
Shiro pulled out each page one by one and set them down between them. Sendak flipped them so he could read them one by one, the furrow in his brow deepening with each passing minute.
Shiro affected a pose of casual nonchalance, hands folded out in front of him. He had to remind himself not to clench them too tightly.
Sendak set down the paper he was holding. “I do not understand.”
“This is a contract,” Shiro said firmly. “Not exactly a conventional way to agree on things, but I thought given our circumstances, this would make sense.” Shiro picked up the first paper and pointed to the first paragraph. “I wanted it to be clear what the point of this was. Boundaries.”
“Boundaries?”
“I understand that things are different for you for a lot of reasons, and this way we can agree on things that work for both of us. No secrets.”
Sendak continued to stare at him, his confusion fading into a blank expression that Shiro couldn’t read. But that was okay. He had anticipated shock and potentially resistance.
“I didn’t mean for us to fill this out now. I just wanted to show you that I've been trying to take your needs into account even though I don’t…agree with them sometimes.” Shiro cleared his throat and sat back in his seat. “We can at least discuss it.”
For a few minutes, Sendak busied himself by glancing over the papers. He still hadn’t offered a proper response, but Shiro knew how to be patient. He waited, declining the waiter’s offer for more water, and eventually he was rewarded when Sendak addressed him.
“This is not how I expected this meeting to go. I had assumed that you had come to the logical conclusion that you—that I was unfit to be your mate.” He drew in air through his nose, and Shiro realized that the reason he had not raised his head was because Sendak’s emotions were currently overwhelming him.
Shiro looked at Sendak’s hand, halfway extended across the table, and thought about taking it. He thought about comforting him; telling him about all the thoughts he had been having, but he didn’t. Maybe later, but not now.
Shiro curled his fingers into a fist. This would be the second time he had seen Sendak cry.
“I thought about it,” he said gently once Sendak was able to collect himself. “You really hurt me, Sendak. I know you did it for the right reasons, but it still hurt.”
“I understand,” Sendak replied wetly. “I will do anything to make it up to you. Anything.”
“I know. You said that before,” Shiro said, somewhat teasingly. His hand moved without his permission, reaching across and brushing over Sendak’s claws.
Two months. Even longer if he counted the weeks he had been waiting for Sendak to get back with him during their Christmas blowup, before he found him bleeding out. Compared to the entirety of their lives, it wasn’t long stretch of time by any means, but the situation surrounding it made it feel so much longer.
Shiro curled his fingertips around Sendak’s, catching his eye when Sendak realized what he was doing.
Sendak’s hand was warm. And it had been so long.
The moment was broken when their waitress came back with their pizza. She looked between the two of them, them at the papers scattered along the table. “Pepperoni and sausage?” she said, awkwardly looking for a place to put it.
“Oh! Thank you, right here is fine.” Shiro shoved aside the contract papers haphazardly to make space. Sendak went even further and collected them in front of him in a neat pile, pressing his hand over them reverently.
“Thank you,” Sendak said to their waitress without looking at her. Shiro flashed her a smile.
Once she was gone, Shiro passed a plate to himself, then Sendak, and started divvying up the pizza.
“So, like I said,” he continued, as if the moment before had not happened. “I figured we’d go to a private space to work on this, but if there’s anything you want to talk about now, I think we should.”
“Then you are amenable,” Sendak said slowly. “To our continuation.”
Shiro immediately wanted to slap himself. He was getting so ahead of himself that he had failed to communicate clearly.
“I love you, Sendak,” Shiro said. He watched his one yellow eye widen. He had said it twice now, and each time Sendak looked just as surprised. “For better or for worse. You are the one I want to be with. You are my mate. I just…” He faltered, wondering if he was going too far too early. “I just want you to know that.”
As confident as he felt now, Shiro had to wade through an ocean of doubts to get to a point where he felt sure. And even then, there were no guarantees. But with this, he had hoped they could make it work.
At his declaration, Sendak let out a breath like what Shiro had said physically pained him.
“And you are the only one I desire. There is no one else.” Sendak squeezed his hands together on the table, claws buried into fur. “I cannot express how much I regret hurting you.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
For a while, conversation moved to lighter topics. They talked about work, what they had been doing in their free time, and how much they both wanted it to stop snowing all the time. Sendak was more open about his work life, taking time to complain about coworkers and operations succeeding and failing. Because they were in public, he was still tightlipped, but Shiro could feel the difference.
It was a very refreshing change.
Together they finished off the pizza in record time, and then ended up ordering a dessert pie afterwards.
Shiro was happy to keep their contract on the backburner and focus on lighter conversation, but Sendak was the one to push the issue when it came up again.
“You don’t want to take some time to think about it?” Shiro asked.
“It is a brilliant solution. Had I not been so—“ there was the barest pause, and Shiro couldn’t tell what he meant by that, but based on the state of his fur and the lackluster shine on his prosthetic, he could consumed with grief.
“It is well-crafted,” Sendak finished quietly.
“Thanks.” Shiro tapped his fingers against the table. The waitress came back with their dessert, and Shiro set it between them. “Even if I wanted to work on this, I didn’t bring a pen.” He didn’t exactly relish asking the waitress for a pen to work on their relationship contract.
“I have a pen,” Sendak said, because of course he did. He brought out a shiny fountain pen from seemingly nowhere and after Shiro agreed with a shrug, he started working on the rules section.
“You can ignore the part about goals if you want to,” Shiro said, suddenly self-conscious now that his work was being scrutinized. “And you can suggest any changes. Nothing is final.”
Sendak nodded. He could already see him marking a few things to change here and there, and Shiro tried not to take it personally. Sendak had more experience with contractual obligations.
When he got to the rules section with Shiro’s initial suggested rules and additional blank spaces, he glanced up at him quicky before he began writing. Shiro kept eating his pie, forcing himself not to read what Sendak was carefully writing down.
When he finished, Shiro again had to exercise restraint as he pulled the papers back towards him.
“Let’s see what we’ve got,” he said lightly, even though his nerves were shot.
Upon scanning the document, it became immediately clear what was missing. “There’s nothing about surveillance on here.” In fact, there was nothing that Shiro had expected to be on there; save for allowance thrice weekly for Sendak to scent him.
Sendak blinked at him. “I had assumed that was entirely off the table given the circumstances.”
“It’s—I mean. It’s not that I want you to bug my apartment, but I just thought—” Shiro stopped and took a breath. “I don’t want you to pretend there are things that you don’t want,” he continued slowly. “Be completely honest with me about what you want. For now, pretend that anything goes.”
Shiro knew that this was a dangerous game to play, but it mattered more that they were on the same page.
Sendak visibly hesitated, then he snatched the papers back towards himself and began scribbling down hurriedly.
It was several more minutes and a slice of pie before Sendak slid them over to Shiro. He glanced over them, keeping his expectations reigned in.
“A spending requirement?” Shiro swallowed around a mouthful of food. “Why would I need a spending requirement?”
“You have yet the credit card that I gave you on more than trivial necessities. I had intended for you to fulfill your every desire at your leisure,” Sendak said, like it made sense. “This way you will not have to feign resistance.”
“Feign resistance? I’m—that’s n—”
He stopped himself. This wasn’t the time to get emotional; he had to remember that.
“I can see where you’re coming from.” Shiro’s face was burning. Thank god they weren’t near any other customers. “It’s definitely something to consider. So, what about item 6, GPS tracker? Are you asking to install an app on my phone or what?”
At the thought, his skin crawled.
“Whatever you wish. It is not…” Sendak shifted uncomfortably. “It is not intended to control you. You had asked for honesty, and this is among the precautions I would prefer to have to ensure your protection.”
“I appreciate that honesty.” Shiro tapped his fingers flat against the table. “Definitely…on the ‘to consider’ list.”
A week ago, Shiro would have lost it the over a list like this. Now, with their needs being laid out in the open, it felt less like a threat looming over his head and something that he could, for lack of a better word, control. He didn’t have to agree to anything Sendak was suggesting, and he wasn’t as freaked out as he thought he’d be.
“I have a few suggestions,” Shiro said. “But you’ve already given me a lot to think about. Plus, my hands are greasy; wouldn’t want to ruin the papers here.” He wiped said greasy hands with his napkin. Sendak raised a brow at his obvious attempt at avoiding the talk at hand, but thankfully he didn’t push. There were things Shiro wanted to say, but—not here. Here had just been a neutral zone to lay the groundwork. “How about you give me the night to think on all this and then we can reconvene privately to revise it?”
Sendak’s ears had been moving in several directions for a while now, an indication of his general mood, and when Shiro stood to use the bathroom they went flat, pinned to his head.
“You are leaving now?” he asked, painfully sincere.
“I just have to go to the bathroom,” Shiro assured him. He waited until Sendak relaxed before leaving.
In the bathroom, Shiro peed and then washed his hands, but hesitated in front of the sink mirror.
The night had not gone exactly as expected. This, he told himself, was a good thing. It was good that Sendak was enthusiastic. It was good that things could feel normal for a brief moment.
Am I doing the right thing? he wondered, staring into the mirror. Should I be approaching things differently? Is this happening too fast?
Is this what you want?
He glanced down the drain, then back up at the mirror.
The face staring back at him bore no hesitation.
With that, Shiro took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.
After weaving his way through the restaurant back to their table, he found Sendak hunched over the papers again, head in his hand. Shiro frowned. He thought the short break would give him a few minutes of reprieve, but he instead Sendak looked frantic and uneasy, rifling through them like he was looking for something.
“You okay?” Shiro asked, moving to sit back down.
“I...” Sendak rose suddenly and faced Shiro. Once again, he was reminded that they were in the middle of a public restaurant, and he hoped Sendak remember that too. “I fear that my actions may be misinterpreted,” he said hurriedly. “I don’t want you to think that I am aiming to control you. I am not” he paused for breath, his large chest heaving for a few moments “I don’t want to hurt you. I only wish for your happiness.”
“…I know that,” Shiro replied. He pushed Sendak until he sat back down and then Shiro slid into his side of the booth. “I don’t think that you did everything on purpose just to hurt me. I’ve never thought that. I think…” He looked around at the other customers, a few who were glancing their way. As much as it was necessary, he didn’t want to talk about all the ways in which they were hurting here at this restaurant. “I think we need to save this particular conversation for later.” He spotted their waitress passing by and flagged her down for the check. "That okay?"
"I...suppose you are right. We cannot accomplish all in one night." Sendak huffed, lacing his fingers in front of him carefully. "Things need...time."
Disgruntled didn't even cover how put out Sendak sounded at the prospect of time.
"Exactly," Shiro agreed nonetheless. "Tonight was good. I think it's a great start to starting over. And next time I'll be more involved. Tonight I really just wanted to talk."
That was when the waitress approached with a pen and paper. “Is there anything else I can get for you?" she asked. At the shake of Shiro's head, she glanced between the two of them. "Just one check tonight?”
Shiro hesitated to answer immediately, staring at Sendak across from him.
“You know what? Just one check,” Shiro told her.
Sendak gazed at Shiro like he didn’t know what to make of him.
“I was going to have us split dinner,” Shiro began. “But I thought…” He licked his lips. “I think this is okay. I don’t mind letting you have this. This is the kind of thing that makes you happy, and that’s…that’s okay.”
“As I recall, you drew as much pleasure from our arrangement as I do.”
“It’s not the same though,” Shiro replied. He leaned his head on his fist, dragging his thumb along the edge of the table with his other hand. “I know you. You like to provide.”
Shiro’s voice edged on teasing, lowering into a register more flirtatious than he had intended.
Nothing changed about Sendak’s face visibly, but when the waitress came back with the check, Sendak took it from her without hesitation. His chest puffed while he filled out the total, and he exhaled deeply once he set it at the end of the table.
It was his black card. Completely unnecessary for the amount their meal has cost, but impossible to miss. Shiro’s eyes flicked to Sendak, then back to the card. He said nothing, but the air felt…charged.
This is bad. Hold it together.
“Shall we?” Shiro suggested once she returned with his card, his voice even.
The cool air that met Shiro outside was wonderfully chilly. The restaurant hadn’t been overly warm, but he was damp with sweat from their conversation.
He stood just outside the entrance and breathed it in for a few heavenly seconds before his body adjusted and it reminded him that it was actually cooler outside than was comfortable.
“You are driving?” Sendak inquired beside him. Shiro opened his eyes and glanced over at his car parked on the other side of the road. He nodded at it.
“Yeah, it’s not too close to my apartment. Though I’m sure you knew that.”
“I see,” Sendak said. It didn’t seem to bother him. It shouldn’t. He liked control, but he didn’t want to control his every move.
How much of it was true? How much could Shiro trust?
“I don’t want you to think ill of me,” Sendak added suddenly. Maybe his unease had been obvious. “If it is what you want, we do not have to continue.”
His fists clenched and then unclenched. It was obviously the last thing he wanted.
There was so much Shiro wanted to say, and so much he felt like he couldn’t. Sendak had made mistakes, and it would be wrong of Shiro to act like they didn’t matter, or that they didn’t change things.
“Can you believe it’s been two months?” Shiro wrapped his arms around himself and turned to face Sendak. “Feels like longer. And the last time we were together, we—” He had to press his lips together to stop himself. “Sendak, this may be weird to ask, but can I hug you?”
His response was immediate. Like he had been waiting for permission, Sendak stepped forward and swept him into a firm embrace. Shiro didn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms firmly around Sendak’s middle, burying his face in the warmth of Sendak’s sweater.
The ever familiar smell of his cologne overwhelmed him. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled Sendak as close as physically possible, wishing for a wild moment that they were alone and not out in public.
“I missed you so much,” Shiro choked out. “I was so mad at you. I still am sometimes, but I missed you. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
In response, Sendak squeezed harder. He nearly lifted Shiro off the ground in his fierce embrace, and after an eternity he loosened his grip so he could look Shiro in the face.
“Da hos del thenak,” Sendak said, evidently switching off his translator just to say it. Even without an explanation, without understanding a word, Shiro knew what he meant.
“The next time I see you, you’re going to tell me what that means. Okay?”
Sendak nodded against his forehead, close now, so close. Their breaths mingled in the air.
Shiro's resolve to keep it at a platonic hug rapidly crumbled as Sendak slipped an arm around the small of his back and cradled the side of his head with the other hand. He repeated the phrase again, and again, nuzzling the side of his face, inching perilously close to the length of Shiro's throat, and on the third repetition Shiro yanked him back into a kiss.
Sendak made a sound like he was in pain, and seconds later, as he opened Shiro’s mouth with his tongue, it transformed into a needy, warm groan. The hand around his waist pulled tight, his claws digging into Shiro’s hips. Shiro brought his hands up to frame Sendak’s face, a weak attempt to keep the kiss somewhat chaste, and Sendak took that as permission to back him up against the concrete wall beside the restaurant and deepen it.
He'd missed this. Sendak’s smell, his—his scent drove him wild. Shiro loved the way he smelled; the way his hands felt holding him tight; the way he kissed him like he wanted to devour him.
“Sendak,” Shiro gasped, sliding his hands down, over his massive pecs. Fuck. “Stop it. We’re not—“ another kiss, one Shiro couldn’t help but melt into “I’m not doing this with you.”
Sendak’s lips left his and Shiro felt their loss. Then Sendak’s teeth grazed his ear, while his hand rubbed along the crook of Shiro’s neck, spreading his scent where possible. Since it was clear his words weren't enough, Shiro raised his hand and slipped it over Sendak’s, curling it over the back of his palm and threading their fingers so he could tug at it.
“Sendak,” he urged.
“Two months,” Sendak breathed. He pressed his full weight into Shiro, breathing hard. “Dozens of cycles. You are right: I want to provide for you. I want to provide you with anything you could ever want. Nothing you desire is out of my reach. I ache for your presence alongside mine.”
Shiro swallowed his words. He was trying to remain strong, but Sendak was making that very hard.
“I—I have to leave.”
“You said I made you cry,” he added, sounding broken up by the fact. Truly, honestly, as if causing Shiro pain was no longer something he could bear. As if he really understood what he had done.
A couple walked out from the restaurant doors and passed by, hardly paying them any attention, but it was enough to encourage Shiro to turn his head away. Sendak planted a kiss along the side of his forehead, sending a sharp electric shudder down Shiro’s spine.
“Enough,” he said firmly, using every ounce of willpower to pull away. “I know you’re sorry. And you did make me cry. But we are not doing this. Get off me.”
He reluctantly withdrew, a sour look on his face. A frustrated Sendak was a thing to behold.
“...At least allow me to scent you.”
“No,” Shiro said. “No, what we just did wasn’t okay. It’s not going to happen again.” No matter how much he wanted it to. “Not until we figure this out.”
“How long?” Sendak asked. “How long until we can meet again?”
Humans place so much emphasis on time, Sendak had said once. Thinking about what he said earlier, Shiro wondered how much longer those two months may have felt for him.
“How about…Sunday. My place. That’s only two days from now.”
“I will arrive in the morning,” Sendak agreed. “I will need to work that afternoon and evening, but in the morning I am yours.”
“Okay.” Shiro looked at Sendak’s hand, remembering the patches of fur missing all over his body. They had grown back by now, but the memory would be forever etched into his brain. “Okay,” he said again. He reached out and brushed their fingers together. Sendak’s hand engulfed his and clutched it, as if to keep him tethered there to him.
“Be safe.” Shiro said. He squeezed his hand as best he could. “Take care of yourself.”
Sendak’s gaze went painfully soft. “I will.”
Shiro went back to his car, sparing Sendak a few glances before he slid inside. Sendak stayed where he was, watching him much like Ulaz had before he finally lifted his phone and began speaking, likely summoning his driver.
I wonder which one of them has been watching over me, he wondered. The thought had crossed his mind before. It made sense; there was no way in hell Sendak would meet him without some kind of assurance that he would be safe. He would have to ask Sendak once they met again.
He drove off, already thinking about his own rules he wanted to add to the contract.
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