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spiderlandry · 6 months

Text

differences — lo’ak sully

Description: Lo’ak should have known you’d never love him back. You are human, after all. What could you have seen in him?

Pairing: Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x GN!Reader, Spider Socorro x GN!Reader

Warnings/Tags: not a happy ending for lo’ak, unrequited love, angst, misunderstandings, drama, mainly focused on lo’ak, kind of a character study?, use of y/n

Word Count: 7.5k (um…)

Author’s Note: take a shot every time the word bracelet is used in this fic challenge (don’t)

Leaves rustle behind Lo’ak’s steady figure. He takes his eyes off the beast he’d been hunting, as he is met with you. The creature scurries away at the sound yet he can’t find it in himself to be mad.

You’re wearing your human clothes, and he still can’t understand why your kind needs to be covered up so much.

“Sorry,” You realize your interruption must have cost him a whole animal. “I didn’t mean to—“

“No, it’s okay.” He shakes his head, unable to stop the smile creeping up onto his face. You’ve been spending more time with Kiri lately and not with him, so he’ll take any chance to spend some with you. He’s satisfied when he notices that your lips mirror his under your mask. “What are you doing out here?”

“I followed you.” You say, but at his slightly wide-eyes, you clarify, “I’m heading to the outpost.” You gesture to some of the familiar landmarks that makes him figure out that he’s not too far from the only working human outpost. Your home, technically. The only place that sustains your kind to the fullest extent.

“Want me to walk you?”

You seem to be relieved at his suggestion, “I would really like that, thank you.” You take your place next to him, and he has the urge to take your hand so you don’t stray away. But he holds back.

“Why are you alone?” He can’t help but ask.

“Spider wanted to stay at the village for longer,” you sigh. “He’s gonna be the death of me.”

Lo’ak keeps a mental note to tell Spider not to leave you alone like that. You’re both humans, it was natural you would stick together, but lately it felt that you and Spider were drawn to opposite places—you and the lab, Spider and the clan.

Once you’ve both reached the outpost, you ask something he doesn’t expect.

“Wanna come in?”

Sure, he’s been in there. But you’ve never invited him in. He’s usually with his other siblings and Spider, but you’re alone and now his heart is about to beat out of his chest if it hasn’t already.

He nods fervently.

You’re his first and only ever crush, the person who he has to thank for never having to wonder what it feels like when the few movies he had seen talked about ‘butterflies’ in their stomach—he felt it, despite not knowing what a butterfly even was.

You open the door to your office-slash-room located in the back of the building, a tiny space with a soft piece of rectangle resembling a mattress at the corner. There’s a desk a few feet away from it, papers haphazardly scattered on the surface.

Another thing catches his eye. Colourful strings stuck to the desk with something see-through making it stick.

“What’s this?” He takes the string and feels it between his fingertips, but he lets go once you lightly slap his hand away, smiling.

“I’m making a bracelet,” you say with a tsk, putting them back in order. “So don’t touch.”

Now you’ve got more than his full attention, if it were even possible. A bracelet? For someone?

“Who is it for?” He hopes you don’t notice the slight quiver in his voice.

“It’s a secret.” You reply casually, tidying up the place so he has more room to walk.

Why so secretive?

“Come on, tell me.” He grins. Maybe he does have a chance.

You just laugh it away.

It means something. He doesn’t lose hope.

“Where did you even get the material to make it?” The bed squeaks as he sits down, taking up most of the space.

“I reused some old shirts, so I can’t afford to mess up.” You shrug. “But even if I do, Kiri has been helping me make Omatikaya clothes.”

Lo’ak tries to hide the way his face noticeably heats up at the image of you wearing Omatikayan clothing, not necessarily because of the lack of cover (though partly so), but because it would mean you’re one of The People—an implication that he can be with you the way he wants, only if you wanted him back.

“You okay?”

You seem to have taken note of his silence.

He coughs, shaking his head of the thought. “Yeah, I’m good. Just something in my throat.”

“…Okay.”

Unable to keep the excitement to himself, he stands up after a beat.

“I should go, my parents are probably wondering where I am.”

“Oh,” he doesn’t want to read into how disappointed you sound. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Bye,” he looks back at you, silently praying to Eywa that the accessory is for him. “I’ll see you soon?”

“I’ll see ya.”

His father has been easing off of training lately, now that Lo’ak is getting closer to his Uniltaron and Neteyam has been taking on more responsibilities to prepare for his role. This results in him getting to leave early, and he often sees Spider and Kiri, sometimes with Tuk, already playing together in the outskirts of the village or at the waterfall.

Today is no different. As Lo’ak walks toward home, he is greeted by the sounds of Kiri and Spider’s banter, going back and forth like dumb and dumber.

“Skxawng!” Kiri hissed at the human when he pulls at her tail. They chase each other around, and Spider is the first to spot Lo’ak.

“You’re back early,” Spider hops onto a rock to meet his brother at eye level. This catches the girl’s attention, and she promptly tries to push him off the surface, but to no avail.

Lo’ak smiles at the sight of his family. Spider has come a long way since they were children, and it was a push and pull at first—which it sometimes still is—but to see his siblings being there for each other makes his heart swell.

Although, this does make him realize the gap you leave when you’re gone. It’s always been you four: the two Na’vi outcasts sticking with the two wannabe Na’vi humans. You’re not here. The sound of your laugh doesn’t fill the air, there are no clever jokes being thrown around, and nobody that would check in on him like you do.

Lo’ak sits aside, leaning against a tree with his training gear still on.

When it gets unusually quiet, Kiri notices.

“Something happen?” She gets to the point.

He shakes his head. Nothing in particular happened. “Where’s Y/N?” He knows, logically, where you are. But he needs to know regardless. His heart aches for it.

Spider is quick to answer: “They’re back at the outpost.”

“Still working on the bracelet?”

“They’re doing science-y stuff with Norm and Max. But yeah, that too.”

Of course, Spider would know about the bracelet. Lo’ak would be a fool to think you wouldn’t tell the only other human your age.

The boy breaks the silence after a few beats.

“I should get back,” Spider sighs.

“It’s not even eclipse yet.”

“I just—I wanna go back early.“ There’s something in his voice that Lo’ak can’t pick up on. Stupid human social cues.

“Alright, I’ll walk you. Kiri, wanna come with?”

Looking back between the two boys, she either senses the one-sides tension or decides she’s too tired; either way, she says no, letting them have their alone time.

It’s mostly quiet on the way there, but the Na’vi boy remembers something upon crossing a familiar path he took yesterday.

“Spider?”

“Yeah?”

“Yesterday, you let Y/N go back to the lab alone.”

The human grimaces. “Yeah, I did.” He sounds dejected. “I already said sorry, even though they said it didn’t really matter.”

Lo’ak can’t help his protective side from coming out. “Don’t leave them alone like that again, okay?”

Despite that both boys consider each other competition without the other knowing, that is something they can agree on: you are to be kept safe at all times, even if you can protect yourself.

He doesn’t stick around when they get there. It’s not necessary, Lo’ak tells himself. He bids his brother a good night and leaves.

Lo’ak was around five when he learned about the extent of Neytiri’s feelings toward humans. Sure, she had expressed her dislike for Spider before, but the boy did have a tendency to be aggressive when roughhousing, even if all his Na’vi siblings towered over him.

His mother never truly told him why she accepted his father, someone who was human, and has a human soul. Not until Lo’ak asked.

“Sa’nu,” he pulled at her tail to get her attention. She turned around, picking him up.

“What is it, ma’itan?”

He took at one glance at Spider chasing Kiri, then you sitting off to the side, then another at his dad a few feet away watching them, and asked, “You don’t like tawtute?”

She frowned slightly. “Not exactly,” She shook her head, following Lo’ak’s gaze. “Why?”

“But sempul was one, wasn’t he?”

“He was,” she trailed off.

“Why?” He couldn’t put it to better words.

“Do you mean why he was human, or why I love him?”

“The second one.” He was all too familiar with the story of how his father was a human, he needed to know why his mother loved him despite that.

“He learned the ways of our culture,” she began. “He was terrible. But he kept trying and trying. I felt that he had a strong heart, Eywa blessed him. You have a strong heart, too,” she squeezed his cheek.

“What about Spider?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Y/N?”

“What’s got you so curious about tawtute all of a sudden, hm?”

Lo’ak doesn’t remember the conversation past that. Neytiri never responded to the question about you, but he found out a while later after that, while his mother does not like you, she doesn’t dislike you. You distance yourself enough to her liking and you’re not the child of someone who once destroyed her family—apparently that’s her criteria.

It’s got him thinking about how you’re not actually trying to be Omatikaya like Spider is. You learn their ways, but you don’t paint stripes on yourself or enter the village during important clan celebrations. To Lo’ak’s surprise, that’s what he finds endearing about you. He wants to be the one to let you in to become one of The People; the Neytiri to your Jake.

At the same time, he dwells on the differences between the two of you. He is Na’vi. You’re tawtute. But that’s not what bothers him, no, what irks him is that you are more likely to stick to your kind. A human like Spider. Being the only humans your age, the close proximity is bound to push you two together.

The dwelling is cut short and morphs into something worse, something uglier, when you arrive to the village on Spider’s back. He watches from the top of a branch, and neither of you have spotted him in the middle of your conversation. And you laugh at something the boy says.

“Bro!” Lo’ak shouts. Tried to laugh it off. Maybe if he laughs with you like he’s in on the joke, he’ll eventually get far enough to make a fissure in the bond you share with Spider as humans. “What are you doing?”

You whisper something to Spider and he reluctantly puts you on the ground gently. Lo’ak tries not to scowl as he jumps off the tree, treading over to you.

“Y/N got tired on the way here, so,” Spider catches his breath. Lo’ak instinctively puffs out his chest—if Lo’ak were carrying you, he wouldn’t be out of breath like that. “I carried them here.”

Before Lo’ak can respond, though, you’re taking something out of your pocket and handing it to him. You smile behind your mask.

He takes it and feels it between his fingers. “Why are you giving it to me?” It’s the bracelet you made, two different colours, white and blue, cascading down in a chevron pattern and ending with a button.

“It’s for you, dingus.” Your exopack fogs up upon your laugh.

Lo’ak grins—he grins wide. “For me?” He couldn’t be more elated. Maybe you did reciprocate his feelings, after all.

“Yeah, I’m making one for each of you guys.”

“Oh,” his smile falters just a bit, not enough to be noticeable. “I’m honoured.”

In the following days, you show up to the village with a bracelet, a different one for each Sully family member. You say it’s to thank them for being welcoming to you. And you even give two more to Lo’ak to give to Jake and Neytiri with a message to pass on. His parents know you’ve been giving them bracelets, and even allowed it, but he didn’t think you’d make one for his parents. You weren’t that close.

“Sa’nu, sempul.” He enters their kelku, shifting his weight.

“Yeah?” Jake says, sharpening his knife. Neytiri watches the interaction expectantly.

“Y/N wanted me to give something to you.”

“Me?”

“You and mom,” He unties the bracelets from the waistband of his loincloth to give it to them. “It’s from Y/N. They made it to thank the family for being welcoming. They said you don’t have to wear it, it’s just a…token of…their appreciation.” He was careful to use your exact words as you told.

Surprisingly, Jake smiles. He gives the other to Neytiri, a matching set. “Thank them for me.”

He watches his mother’s reaction cautiously. Her tail swishes slowly, a gentle upturn of her lips enough to say what she thinks about your action.

You stay far away enough from the Sully’s to not be considered one of them, unlike Spider. You must be in her good graces by now as you’ve matured. If Neytiri ever found out about Lo’ak’s affections for you, he’s sure you would be at the same level of her dislike for Spider, if not higher.

He goes to the waterfall, where he knows you and his siblings are. It’s the rare occasion that Neteyam has come along, more as extra eyes to watch Tuk.

You all just sit by the rocks, occasionally splashing water at each other but mostly talking about random topics. You’re with them for hours, and this rare occasion is probably because you need to practice your Na’vi. Whatever the reason, Lo’ak is glad you’re there. You’ve built a friendly relationship with his older brother too, who took a liking to you when you showed a willingness to protect his siblings if there happened to be a situation.

Right before eclipse, as the group stands up to leave, Lo’ak finally notices the lack of accessory on Spider’s wrist.

“Where’s your bracelet?” Lo’ak points. A sliver of hope appears in his orbit, but followed by a pang of guilt when he realizes that he was almost happy that you might not like Spider as much as you like him. You gave it to Lo’ak first, and Spider has none.

Nobody else takes notice, because Neteyam and Kiri are talking, and Tuk runs ahead, you going after her. It’s just him and Spider in the bubble of their conversation.

“Oh, yeah.” His brother chuckles bashfully. “They said they’re making something else for me.”

Lo’ak doesn’t want to sound disappointed, so he nods and keeps going. Never in his life has he wished that you turn out to be a liar until now.

His hopes are shattered mercilessly when the day comes where Spider gets to show off what you’ve made for him.

An armband. Weaved and styled in the Omatikaya style, in a distinct pattern he knows was taught to Kiri, which she taught to you.

Spider came strolling in the morning, saying, ‘Look! This is what Y/N made!’

Lo’ak tried to respond enthusiastically. He really did. But when he realizes he’s never had a chance, not even a possibility, it breaks his heart a tad. It’s not fair to put this on Spider.

“You okay?” Spider lowers his arm, running his palm over it.

Both brothers stand in the forest, quieter than ever. Unknowing of the other one’s situation. Lo’ak is conflicted—if he tells Spider about his feelings, will it change things?

There is no other conceivable option. If Lo’ak keeps it to himself, there is no way he would see it through to the other side. “Are you and Y/N…?”

“Like…” The boy furrows his brow for a moment, wondering of the implication in his words. “Are we together? Me and Y/N?” He rubs an itch in his neck that’s not really there, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Lo’ak only nods.

“Um,” Spider fidgets, plays with the band around his muscles. “…Yeah. We don’t—we’ve been trying to keep it a secret.”

When Lo’ak was younger, Jake had told him of something called tunnel vision. His father described it so vividly, but he hadn’t recalled his words until this moment. Everything around you is a blindspot. It blurs, and the haze is enough to make you try to claw at it for even a moment. It’s not fun.

His father, ever the storyteller, appeared to be exaggerating for the sake of it. But the man was right.

Spider recognizes the blankness in Lo’ak’s face. It’s the one he makes when he doesn’t want people to know what he’s feeling. And that can only be a bad thing.

What’s worse, when it finally dawns on the human boy—the way Lo’ak has been acting around you, the nervousness, the eyes only reserved for one person—all he can say is: “Oh, shit.” His jaw falls slack. “You…?”

“No, no.” Lo’ak blinks back tears. “It’s fine. Doesn’t matter.” Before he can walk away, Spider grabs his wrist.

“No, dude. This is important.” Spider insists.

A beat.

“You’re my brother.”

Looking outward at the expanse of the jungle, the Na’vi boy thinks and the gears turn in his head. If he can’t have you, he should ensure you’re in good hands. With fragments of his heart on the forest floor, he decides this within the few seconds Spider tries to convince him to talk; he imposes a test.

Lo’ak finally turns around.

“You’re right, I like—“ That’s not right. “No, I love Y/N.”

Spider is taken aback by those words. But he lets the other talk.

“You’re my brother, right?”

Spider nods.

Lo’ak, sending a silent prayer to Eywa for courage, says: “If you’re really my brother, you’d let them go. For me.”

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

It took Spider five seconds to respond. Lo’ak can tell that he’s trying to see if the demand is serious, but once those seconds are up and the human realizes it is serious, the immediate response is all he expected. What he hoped.

Sternly, “No.”

Lo’ak breathes a sigh of relief, but in his blind anger, Spider doesn’t catch it.

“You’re being unfair,” his brother doesn’t shout, but he may as well. “You haven’t stopped to see that—that—I love Y/N too? You’re a selfish prick, Lo’ak. You don’t deserve them. What—“ he heaves in disbelief.

“Bro—“

Spider begins to walk away, heading back home.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He’s walking backwards just to show Lo’ak the frustration on his face, throwing his hands up in irritation. “If you really did love them, you wouldn’t even say that!” He shouts to compensate for the distance. The annoyance bleeds through.

“Spider—“

“Don’t talk to me!”

And he’s gone.

Lo’ak fucked up. He fucked up, and he knows it. He loves you. A fact that even he hadn’t admitted until last night in front of Spider in a blur. It’s complicated, the way Lo’ak’s brain works—the idea of you not being in good hands with Spider, the guilt of not getting there sooner, his worst fear coming true; it was all too consuming. He was drowning in the depths of his own imagination with how his brain went haywire the night before, thinking he even had a place to test Spider’s loyalty to you. Of course Spider was loyal, that’s his core. Loyal to the Sully family despite Neytiri’s hate, but it flew over Lo’ak’s head that Spider was even more loyal to you.

A part of him wanted Spider to say yes. To give you up and hand you over, as if you were being held hostage and Lo’ak was coming to save you—Eywa, what the hell was he thinking?

You are not someone to be saved. You made a choice. It’s not your fault you didn’t know the options available to you.

Options.

Lo’ak should have confessed years ago.

Too late for that now. He has to learn to live with it, just like everything else.

Everyone gets to witness the younger Sully boy’s dampened mood, like a plant taken from its ledge away from the sun, whose leaves are slowly wilting in haste. Nothing to do about it. Nobody knows what to say to him or what to do, frankly because the only person who knows has been absent.

Spider is absent. Some clan members rejoice secretly at the thought of those annoying humans who were always circling the Sully children like flies finally leaving. Lo’ak hears the whispers, the maybe they’ve realized their real place, and it pisses him off to no end. But he can’t tell anybody the reason, at least not without revealing the truth of his carelessness.

So he opts to stay silent.

Spider has probably told you what Lo’ak did. You probably hate him for it. For thinking that he can make that kind of decision for you, for thinking he knows better.

The absence is so apparent that even Jake questions it.

Lo’ak overhears it coming home one night, about a week after Spider was last here.

“I talked to Norm and Max,” Jake says to Neytiri. Lo’ak stays back to listen, just outside the entryway. “They said Spider and Y/N are both there, they’re doing fine. You think something happened?”

“Yawne, maybe it’s a good thing they’re staying back.”

It takes everything in Lo’ak not to barge in and scold his parents about the audacity they have to say that while his siblings wear your bracelets like a badge of honour. When they know how much their kids value you and Spider.

He redirects that energy somewhere else and takes off in the opposite direction, toward the outskirts of the village, making noise in the process as the leaves rustle. He hears his parents call after him when they’ve registered that he was listening to their conversation.

Knocking on the doors of the outpost at night was…eerie. Though, it doesn’t take long for Norm to answer on the speakers.

“What do you need, Lo’ak? It’s late. Does Jake know you’re here?”

“Uh…yeah. I just wanted to see if I could talk to Spider.”

There’s a few seconds of silence, and for a moment he thinks maybe Spider doesn’t wanna talk, but the speaker crackles again.

“What do you need, bro?” Lo’ak can’t stop the smile when he hears Spider say bro. It could just be instinct, but it’s still there and that’s what matters.

“I just…wanted to say sorry. If there’s anything I can do to make it up—“

“Look,” Spider interrupts, and his heart plummets below the ground. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’ll come to you.“

“Um…sure. Of course, yeah.”

Well, at least he’s not completely shut out.

It turns out, Lo’ak was wrong. He’s wrong about many things, but never really when it comes to his siblings. He observes and sees them, knows them like the back of his hand. It’s a Sully thing. Sully’s stick together.

He was wrong about Spider. Specifically about being shut out. The verdict is that Lo’ak’s is not shunned…at all. Not like he thought that night they spoke through the speakers at the outpost.

It clicks when Spider is already at the village when Lo’ak gets out of training, waiting with a flat smile.

Lo’ak got out of his training gear and it’s just then he realizes he hadn’t prepared what to say.

Spider, feeling the unease radiating off him in waves, suggests they go to the waterfall, so they do.

It’s not as quiet there. It’s the sound of the falling water, the currents rushing and banging against the rocks. It makes it easier to talk. Spider sits on a tall rock to meet Lo’ak’s eye, and the latter leans against it.

“I really am sorry,” he begins. “What I did that night was out of line. I don’t wanna get in the way of you guys again, and I was being unfair. You were right.” Lo’ak subconsciously plays with the bracelet around his wrist.

“It wasn’t just out of line, it was—“ The other boy thinks for a moment to find the right words. “It was out of character for you. I didn’t think you’d be the type of person to do that.” What hits Lo’ak the most is that Spider doesn’t even sound angry, he sounds disappointed. It’s a familiar tone akin to Jake’s when Lo’ak makes a mistake on the field.

“You’re right about that too.” There is no other way but to admit it. “I thought that if…I could make sure that you’re loyal to Y/N, then I can live with it.” Lo’ak’s eyes avert their gaze to the wall of water, watching and waiting for a reply.

Spider’s eyes, meanwhile, soften. “At the end of the day, you still wanted what was best for them, right?”

He doesn’t hesitate. “Always.”

“Then we’re good.”

“Really?” His head snaps toward Spider, hopeful. “You’re for real?”

Spider flashes him a grin. “Yeah, bro. We’re good.”

They sat there for a few more minutes, watching the sky turn pink and orange.

“We should get back,” The human boy offers. “Y/N’s probably waiting.”

“They’re at the village?” Lo’ak asks. “I thought they were back at the outpost.”

At Lo’ak’s bewildered tone, Spider chuckles. “No, they’ve been with Kiri this whole time. Let’s go.”

His father was off doing perimeter checks, and his mother and Neteyam were out on a hunt, so the emptiness of the home was occupied by you, Kiri, and an energized Tuk running around.

“What are you guys doing?” Spider inquires, taking his place next to you, while Lo’ak sits next to Kiri.

“Kiri is teaching me how to weave better.”

He notices how it matches Spider’s armband, and he tries not to scowl in response.

You must definitely know about Lo’ak and Spider’s argument. But when you give Lo’ak a big grin with crinkled eyes like nothing has happened, he begins to question it.

Lo’ak’s breath is stolen when Tuk jumps on his back unexpectedly, promptly breaking the awkward silence after exchanging looks.

His little sister, oblivious to the tension, pulls on his hair to get his attention.

“Ouch, Tuk!” He laughs, happy to break eye contact with you and Spider. “What do you need?”

“Play with me!”

Just then, as he was going to oblige, Jake comes in, putting his hand on Tuk’s head.

“Sempu!” She shrieks, jumping into their father’s arms.

“What’s got you so energetic today, hm?” He smiles.

“She just ate,” Kiri responds for her. “It’ll wear off in a few minutes.”

“Alright,” he laughs. “Neytiri’s gonna get back soon, how about we clean up the place?” Jake suggests.

The humans in the room know what that’s code for. Neytiri let humans into the family kelku on rare occasions, but she never liked coming home to them. Whether that’s symbolic or literal, it’s uncertain. The four stand up to leave. They let Jake and Tuk have their time cleaning up.

You all don’t stray far, sitting at the base of a large tree, you continuing your weaving while Kiri looks suspiciously between the two boys, observing.

It’s only the noise of you and Kiri talking, her directing and guiding your hands, while you nod and correct yourself, filling the air.

Unbeknownst to the group, Jake watches from afar. But once again, it’s Tuk’s shrieks getting louder as she runs out of the home that gets everyone to look up to the sound.

The father takes this as his opportunity when Tuk goes to play with the group. “Lo’ak,” he calls. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Oh, someone’s in trouble,” you tease.

Lo’ak gives you a tiny ‘shut up’ as he goes to his dad.

“I wanted to apologize,” his father says, leaving it at that and scanning Lo’ak’s face for a response.

His brows furrow. “Apologize for what?”

“I know we…haven’t exactly been the most cordial to your friends. Understand that—“

“What? No. What makes you think I’m mad about that?” Because at the end of the day, Lo’ak still understands the pain his mother went through. At least part of it.

“Not mad,” Jake shakes his head. “You don’t seem yourself.”

Lo’ak tries to put on a poker face, not to show any emotions, but when he realizes what his father could find out, he stumbles over his words.

“That’s not it. I—“ His mistake is darting his eyes to the group. Specifically, you. “It’s nothing. Really.”

Jake follows the line of his gaze. It lands on you. He finally understands. “It’s about Y/N, isn’t it?”

Lo’ak’s silence is the answer.

Jake sighs. “Look, son, you know how your mother feels about—“

“It’s not that, either. I don’t even have a chance, dad. Spider beat me to it.”

Watching closer, his father sees what Lo’ak has been seeing. How you lean closely into Spider, sometimes look to him for comfort and guidance. Right.

His dad sighs. Lo’ak frowns.

“You’ll be okay,” he says.

“I know, dad.”

“No, look at me.”

So that’s what Lo’ak does. He looks up.

“This won’t be the last time you’ll feel like that about somebody. I know it feels like that, but it’s not.” There’s a distant visage that takes over his dad’s face. “No matter how strong you feel about somebody, there’s always more love in your heart than you think. Trust me.”

The expression on his face tells Lo’ak there’s more to this than what the man in front of him is saying. His father speaks from experience. Much as he wants to, he doesn’t ask or push, leaving the topic for another day.

When Lo’ak nods in understanding, his gaze goes to you again. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t the slightest bit delighted that Jake understands, really understands. But Lo’ak knows that his father’s words are accompanied by relief, even if it’s not said out loud. It’s relief that since you’re taken by Spider, Lo’ak won’t get to be with you—a human—and he doesn’t have to deal with the backlash or the dissatisfaction from Neytiri. Jake may be trying to protect his son from that, but Lo’ak may as well be condemned to a life of suffering; forever subjected to seeing you move on and find happiness without him. He’ll never be the same.

“You should go talk to them,” his father leaves then, picking up Tuk from almost falling asleep on Kiri’s shoulder.

Lo’ak thinks about those words when he sits back down. His gaze flits from you to Spider, and Kiri takes note of it.

“Okay, spit it out.” She breaks the quiet. “What is with you two?”

“What?” You hum, focused on the armband.

“Not you, these two.” Kiri’s stare burns into him and Spider, and they look at anywhere but her.

“Uh,” You try to see what she’s pointing out. “What’s happening?”

“Lo’ak and Spider have been so weird with each other. Care to elaborate on that?” She pinches her brother’s ear which earned a light slap on her hand.

It’s Spider that speaks up. “I think you should tell Y/N.”

“What?” Lo’ak stammers. “You haven’t told them?”

“Why would I?”

It dawns on him that despite everything, he and Spider are still brothers.

They keep each other’s secrets.

“What haven’t you told me?” You look to him with clueless eyes, and it hurts a little. Like pinprick of a needle on his skin. Maybe a few. A few million.

The Na’vi boy looks at Spider for approval, and he nods. So Lo’ak says, “Can we talk in private?”

“Um…sure.” You reply.

Lo’ak’s heart is beating out of his chest. The two of you reach a place out of earshot from Kiri and Spider, who wait patiently in sight.

“You’re sweating,” you point out.

He clears his throat, not really having the capacity to be embarrassed because you’re actually here and he has to think of what to say.

“I’m just gonna say it.” He scoffs, more so at himself. “I love you.” His tail curls around his thigh, a protective mechanism.

He searches your face for a reaction, but it stays blank. You’re waiting for him to continue.

So that’s what he does. “I know you’re with Spider, I understand that—I’m happy for you—really!” He rambles. “I just—I got protective over you and—and me and Spider argued. So…yeah. I have feelings for you. That’s it.”

You’re not easy to read. You and Spider are different in that way. While your boyfriend wears his heart on his sleeve, you protect yours with a shield. This is why, when you’re suddenly so easy to read in front of Lo’ak, it worries him. A sort of sadness he’d never seen from you clouds your features, and while his tear ducts stayed intact, your eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Lo’ak,” you coo, taking his hand in yours. It’s large, but yours fit snugly as he grasps it. You pull, tugging him into a squat to meet his eyes.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Pity me,” his face contorts. “You don’t have to—“

“I’m not pitying you,” you say sternly. “Just listen. For at least a second.”

His ears involuntarily perk up.

“Even though I don’t see you like that, I have to let you know that you mean a lot to me. And I mean it. I care about you so, so much. It’s important to me that you understand that.”

He nods wordlessly.

“There’s someone out there—and I promise this—someone out there that’s gonna love you more than I ever could. You’ll get that. I just…I can’t see you that way. We’re different, Lo’ak. You’re family.”

That’s what he needed to hear for his heart to completely break. But something tells him, maybe intuition, that it’s simply good to feel it. He’s not numb or heartless. He gets to feel the heartbreak inside him, and oddly that gives him a glimpse into a future where he’s taken the steps that will have mended his broken heart. This is the first step.

He reaches out for you, and as always, you’re there to catch him—you encase him within your arms, and being surrounded by your warmth finally puts him at ease.

“If you want space, just tell me.”

“No, I already got enough of space.”

All the while the conversation took place between you and Lo’ak, Spider and Kiri had a discussion of their own.

“How come I didn’t know this happened?” Kiri asks him after he finished telling the story, and he absentmindedly picks at the grass.

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “It just happened.”

“You should talk to him again.” She watches you hug Lo’ak.

“Why? We already talked, I accepted his apology.”

“You’re both boys,” she responds condescendingly. “I know that Lo’ak needs more reassurance than that. So do you.”

Much as he hates to say it, she is right.

When you and Lo’ak join them again, Kiri asks you to show her how you make your human bracelets.

“We’ll have to go to the outpost for that,” you turn to your boyfriend, exchanging silent words. Kiri gives him an encouraging look.

“You and Kiri can go ahead,” he caresses your arm, nodding. “I’ll just talk to Lo’ak real quick.”

He keeps his eyes on you as you disappear into the thick of the forest with Kiri.

“How did your talk go?” Asks Spider.

“It was good,” Lo’ak can breathe easier. “Went better than I thought.”

The stillness stretches until he asks, “…Why?”

“Nothing, nothing, I just—“ Spider pauses. “We’re good, right?”

“Yeah, we’re good.” And although it sounds casual coming out of Lo’ak’s mouth, a heavy weight has been lifted off his chest.

They hold each other’s gaze, a silent exchange. Whether they consciously are aware of it or not, both brothers have been made stronger after the whole ordeal. Now they’ve been made aware of another commonality they share: loving you. It’s just an addition to an already strong foundation of brotherhood they’ve been building since childhood.

When this exchange is done, Lo’ak smiles and Spider follows.

The Na’vi boy lightly nudges him. “I’ll race you!” He shouts, running in the direction of the outpost.

Spider laughs, running after him.

A number of months later, you struggle adjusting to your new home in the Hallelujah Mountains. It’s rough, but Spider has been there with you every step of the way. Norm and Max finally let him move into your room (with a promise of no funny business), and though this set up is much smaller, being with Spider makes it feel bigger.

While you’re helping with chores around the camp, Tuk’s familiar shrieks reach your ears. “The war party is coming back!”

You rush out of the tent set up as a med station for avatars along with the other humans, you watch for the familiar ikran land on the edge of the cliff.

You’ll never get used to seeing Neteyam and Lo’ak always returning with more scratches and worse wounds across their bodies. It worries you that one day they’ll come back with something much, much worse, and they’ll be too far gone.

Jake scolds his sons in front of everyone, but they avert their gazes except for you. You’re standing next to Mo’at’s kelku, waiting until Jake’s speech is done, and you stare at Lo’ak to make sure he’s not too badly wounded.

Once it was over, you accompany the Sully kids while Mo’at and Kiri are patching up Lo’ak and Neteyam. You’re sure that the younger brother can feel your stare on him because he looks up at you after a few seconds.

“I’m okay,” he reassures you. His eyes flit to Spider for a millisecond, and the way your boyfriend holds your waist close to him. He turns back to Mo’at.

You see how he still looks at you.

Time and time again, you have asked Lo’ak to tell you if he needs space from you. But each time you say it, he looks more and more betrayed. So you don’t. You want to say you’re sorry, but it won’t be telling the truth. Lo’ak already knows the truth is that you’re happy with Spider. He already understands that—regardless, it seems to hurt him.

That night, in your shared room, you hold Spider in your arms. You take comfort in each other. Nothing else matters in these moments, the quietude says enough.

Lo’ak reflects on how things have changed. You, Spider, Kiri, and him are still close as ever, but he tends to avoid your eyes these days. All he sees is what could have been.

He once thought that maybe, just maybe, he could get you to see him differently. Because—in his mind—he could treat you better. He can be better. He would have allowed you to mold him into whatever you’d like, even.

But what broke him the most is that he was wrong.

He watched Spider treat you like how he would have. Spider brought you flowers, remembered every special occasion, kissed you like nothing else mattered, and Spider understands you. That is everything Lo’ak would have been to you, had you reciprocated.

Headcanons for what happened after (Pairing: Lo’ak x Tsireya):

Originally, it was gonna end on a much sadder note with you and Lo’ak not talking and then you and Spider get taken, BUT I couldn’t do that to Lo’ak

So: you and Spider don’t get taken, but Jake catches wind of Quaritch being back and decides to move his family to Awa’atlu anyway

You say tearful goodbyes to the Sully’s, then everything goes back to normal with Tarsem leading the war party in intercepting deliveries by the RDA. You and Spider stay at the camp with Norm and Max.

Lo’ak finds Tsireya in Awa’atlu, becomes one with the Metkayina, and she helps him heal. This is when he realizes the weight of Jake’s words: there is more love in his heart than he thought.

But his previous experiences stop him from confessing to Tsireya, thinking maybe she doesn’t like him back because they’re different

Tsireya is the one who confesses to him, and she says I see you. He can’t wait to tell you that you’re right, that there is someone who loves him more than you ever could, the way he always wanted, and that person is Tsireya.

They defeat the recoms, Neteyam doesn’t die (it’s my fic so I get to do what I want hehe), and then they stay at Awa’atlu for a few more months. The Omatikaya go back to the forest.

The Sully’s go back home as part of the celebration for Tsireya and Lo’ak’s union

You meet Tsireya, reunite with Lo’ak, and you two have a discussion about how you’re happy for him that he’s found someone. But your heart plummets as Lo’ak says he will be staying with the Metkayina along with his family because he found a place where he finally feels he truly belongs, and though you’re glad for that, it also breaks your heart that you can’t go with him.

So all in all, you and Lo’ak broke each other’s hearts in different ways, even if you didn’t reciprocate his love :( <3

#loak x reader #lo’ak sully #avatar loak #loak sully #loak x you #avatar twow #avatar the way of water #atwow #angst #loak angst #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan x reader #avatar imagine #atwow imagines #spider soccoro x reader #spider socorro

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