#Absolutely could not draw a guy this greebled in a comic but it's fun to go nuts

[artbyblastweave]

"The thing about this, about being like this, is that you're slowly. You're slowly, you go to pieces. Holes in your skin, holes in your memory. Holes in your brain where words and ideas and whole years of your life used to live. Holes in your arms and your legs where they bite you, where they hold you down and get their fingers in to widen it. Alright. Fine. Engineering problem.

So every year I'm a little less me and a little more something I built. And there's maybe, I want to say maybe five minutes each day where I can sort of spin that as a positive thing, I get, wassuhword- Nietzschean, I can get Nietzschean about it. Will-to-Power or some shit like that. I'm not unproud of it. But when I sit with it, it's not empowering. It's mostly just scary. Because before all of this kicked off, right, before I got bitten the first time, I smoked three packs a day, slept three hours a night, and I knew it wasn't doing anything good for me, but in a distant way, you know? And when it's distant you can put it out of your mind, for a while. Now I can't pretend not to know what the shelf life is. I know exactly what's good for another week and what's shoddy, what I had to rush or stopgap on or improvise in the field. I know the exact angle that'll shatter the knee actuator if I land on it wrong, I know exactly how far I can move left or right without tearing the abdominal mounts, I know exactly how hard I can punch something before the gauntlet backfires, puts my humerus through whatever's behind me. I know exactly how I'm gonna go to pieces because I've already done it in the opposite direction. And I've basically got as long left as it takes for one of those holes to open up, eat the part of my brain that keeps track of just how fucking tenuous I am, the part that remembers to be scared. Because you're scared enough to keep on top of things, or you're dead. True before, truer now."

#Absolutely could not draw a guy this greebled in a comic but it's fun to go nuts #character design #my art #character art #OC #untitled zombie project #zombie #zombies #zombie art #zombie apocalypse #my writing