#And then!!!!! they’re mean and call Caboose names!!!! it breaks my heart.

[blueteamtexas]

yall ever remember how tex church and omega gave caboose severe brain damage and then everyone was really mean to caboose for like 10 seasons and scream really hard

#like. They did that to him!!!! #yes he was a fool before but his entire demeanor mannerisms disposition EVERYTHING changed #id believe that tex was aware of the risks but fully intended to be careful #Like she knows she’s an ai and she knows what omega is like and she want to stop him. fast #but church following her in there? #he thinks he’s a ghost. Even if he instinctually followed the right pathways #Not to mention omega wrecking Shit on purpose and then actually fighting #they FOUGHT in this man’s neural pathways!!!! #And then!!!!! they’re mean and call Caboose names!!!! it breaks my heart. #blue team talk

[lottalucamotion]

Stex Appreciation Month day 31: Nit Picks and What You’d Change

*Cracks knuckles*

Alright.

Once more this will be all text and no art since this is topic is probably better covered in words.

So basically I will be breaking down Stex into the way I would direct it if this was “Luca’s Starlight Express”. Some aspects will be full on changes, though most will just be a mix and match of aspects of different shows over the years that I liked.

So let’s begin this break down.

So first off I’ll talk about what seems to be wrong with Starlight and what the trends seem to show. I of course no nothing for sure, but this is just speculation based on rumors and little tidbits of information I’ve picked up on during my time in the fandom.

It seems like the biggest flaw that the show has is the lack of care, mainly by Andrew Lloyd Webber, for the show in general. While the show is heavily credited to have been created by ALW no doubt because he’s more the household name, Stillgoe is the one who really made Starlight what it is. Lloyd Webber was just reluctantly along for the ride. He was never fully on board with the idea of making Starlight a musical, and just intended for it to be a music collection for kids. It was to the point that ALW felt the need to put a disclaimer for critics saying that he didn’t really want to make it.

Starlight was always meant to be an audience entertainer, not a critic entertainer. From the minute it was conceived as a train musical on skates, it was damned to be crucified by critics, and well, the biggest issue with where it has ended up is the lack of acceptance to just let it be what it is.

This is not to say the show hasn’t always had some flaws. Where it seems to have always lacked is the story. It relied more on the spectical of being a series of being a roller skate show with music and races rather than a musical with a complex story and characters. Don’t get me wrong, this by no means implies the characters are not likable. The main cast has a lot of likable qualities even if they’re characterizations are fairly basic. In a sense this, give a chance for the audience to interpret the characters how they want. Though on the other hand it can also make the the main characters difficult to root for since their motivations are never really made clear.

In addition to that there are of course that matters of making certain characters out to be shallow stereotypes, and the critique that there is sexism in the story. Honestly, I think the poor direction in which the “fix” for the sexism critique is due to attention being paid too much to professional theatre critics who don’t actually want to give stex the time of day so they just say the story is sexist with no further elaboration, causing the direction to go blind into whatever the hell “I Need Me/Ich bin Ich” is.

Though not everything I would apply to my ideal stex is related to story. Most of it is just things are of no real consequence, just preference for this sequence or that song.

So now that this ramble is over, let’s actually get to the real meat of the matter.

I like the transition between the introduction of the nationals and Rolling Stock rather than starting with Rolling Stock.

I have a difficult time deciding whether Engine of Love should be Rusty’s intro or Call Me Rusty. I’m leaning more toward Engine of Love simply because I like that song more. Though putting in Engine of Love means that there won’t be any Whistled at Me variation. I would be okay with that even if I do love the pop version. Forgoing the “Dream Engine” plot point altogether honestly makes creating a more compelling characterization for Rusty and Pearl easy (Pearl’s dream train is a steam engine, and Rusty’s a steam engine so it just makes no sense why she would fall for and electric and diesel when she’s specifically looking for a steam engine).

So on that note let’s talk about what plot I have in mind for Rusty and Pearl. Pearl is a young excursion car who works around a lot of vintage engines for a luxury tourist line. Rusty and Pearl have known each other for a long time and promised each other that they would run their first race together.

While other engines are more inclined to be prejudiced toward steam engines, coaches find them quite romantic. However, Rusty’s physical state and the fact that he’s a switcher engine means that the coaches not only don’t believe he is capable of racing, but also believe it’s too dangerous for him. When Pearl agreed to race, she was not aware of how dangerous racing could be for Rusty.

Basically “Make Up My Heart” rewrite where Pearl makes the point that racing with Rusty could hurt him physically but she also doesn’t want to hurt his feelings.

It makes Pearl’s motives for leaving Rusty much less likely to be read as malicious, and makes more sense for their eventual romance.

As for Rusty, I prefer the writing going more toward how Rusty was originally written, more motivated to prove himself rather than racing to win over Pearl. Rusty’s reluctance to race coming from the fact that no one believes in him rather than just being rejected by Pearl. Obviously it stings the most coming from Pearl since the two of them were the closest, but she’s not the only factor. Maybe he even has thoughts that the coaches are right and he could get hurt.

Speaking of romances, let’s talk about Greaseball and Dinah. Dinah actions are likely the biggest sexism complaint source, and I won’t really deny that criticism. I get that we want everyone to get a happy ending at the end because that’s just the nature of this musical, it’s supposed to be light hearted and all. So if Greaseball and Dinah have to get together again, some justification should be given there, like implications that Greaseball and Dinah’s relationship beforehand is good and worth keeping even if just through the actors’ body language (like maybe Greaseball acting a bit more lovey-dovey toward Dinah in Pumping Iron rather than just having him treat her like all of the other coaches). Greaseball can still be a general asshole without being mean to Dinah. They can still have an argument about Greaseball’s cheating, but instead of having Dinah immediately backpedal to try to beg him out of leaving her, it should be an agreed action, where Dinah willingly leaves Greaseball as well as him leaving her. 

Greaseball should also at one point show some sign of remorse, maybe he notices her in U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D., watches her, thinks about it for a bit after she leaves, but shakes it off for the time being since he has a race to focus on.

Back on the subject of songs, for Lotta Locomotion, I’d love to see it with more subtle lyrics like “A Lotta Locomotion” but slap hard like “A Whole Lotta Locomotion”.

Bring back the original coaches. Yeah maybe Ashley is “outdated” and not PC but this is coming from the same people who put the confederate flag on the diesel gang and named the British Engine Brexit. I can’t fathom why they got rid of Buffy too?

I like all versions of ACDC and think what version would be best depends a lot on the voice of who’s playing Electra.

Red Caboose toaster hat edition - no Canoose. Also Killerwatt has no rights, I’d bring back the original components.

I actually really like the newer versions of the Rockies, I just don’t like the new Right Place Right time, the original version was the best in my opinion.

Even though I would include Caboose, I do like how Flat Top was given a more prominent story role without him, and would kind of like to emulate that.

Dustin should also be given more fleshing out in the first act, for example, having him sing “There’s Me”. While on one hand, having Caboose sing There’s Me gives more ways to think about his character, it just makes sense to give that comforting role to someone like Dustin (plus Dinah and Dustin being friends would just be the cutest shit ever).

Go back to the “Hey you” version of the Rap, none of this train Tinder bullshit we have now.

I usually hate the love songs in Stex but “I Do” is one of my favorite of all stex songs so that can stay as is.

Lastly,

Bring back No Comeback.

#stex appreciation month

[calliecat93]

RvB17 Episode 7 Review: Limbo

Time travel sucks. That's all I've got for an intro, it sucks. It's confusing and makes my brain hurt and... let's just get into this before I give myself a migraine.

Overview

We start where we left off, Huggins in what we can now confirm is the heart of a Black Hole. But she's not alone. Remember in S16 when Huggins mentioned that her parents were killed by a Black Hole? Well... they're alive! And named Gerald and Cheryl. So how are they and Huggins alive? Simple, they are light. Light is information, and you can't destroy information. They also ask where Huggins brother is, who as it turns out is Muggins. Weird that he only called her a friend last season, but hey I'll go with it. But the parents are confused as the rest of the universe should be there, and the only thing that could prevent that is some kind of time blockage. A paradox, if you will. Huggins realizes what this means and is told by her parents to go at light-speed to reach where she needs to be.

Back in Season 5, Sister is talking to Doc about how to deal with Tucker. Essentially, she plans on fucking with him for as long as possible. Doc is not happy about this since Tucker is still recovering... and the fact that it sounds outright nuts. Back with the others, well... we still have the whole 'Donut betrayed everyone' thing to deal with. Sarge wants to outright execute him for it. Wash points out that Donut tried to fix all of it, but it does little to help with Grif pretty coldly pointing out that Donut stole The Hammer. Of course, none of them know that Donut tried to use it himself, but they aren't really giving him the chance to explain either, so... oh and Caboose figured out how to Time Travel on his own, so he's gone at this point.

Tucker wakes up, and Sister proceeds to fuck with him in several ways while Doc just goes 'fuck this' and leaves. Back with Huggins, she arrives at Blood Gulch and is surprised by how shitty it looks. But no one is there as this was before the Reds and Blues were sent there, so she goes forward some more until she sees Caboose. At first, she thinks that he doesn't know what she means when she asks about the paradox... until Caboose explains that they did it to save Wash and how she got angry at Grif before flying off. So Huggins explains that essentially black holes make time loop, like a circle... just go with it people. Like me, Huggins is overwhelmed before asking Caboose if they can talk.

Back with the others, Tucker seems to have bought Sister's story and says goodbye to Doc. He goes to apologize to Donut for making fun of him and at this point utterly agitated by everyone, Donut does the 'how do you know x if you never met x' spiel to snap Tucker back to normal. What is surprising though is that this also snaps Doc back to normal, so we can confirm that he isn't dead. He does remember the S16 finale fight, and about how awesome it was. And it is listening to Doc recount those events that cause Donut to do what we have been waiting for him to do for so long now: tell everyone off.

Donut goes and finally, finally tells off everyone for how horribly that they have treated him. Sidelining him, belittling him, left him for dead, etc. And he doesn't hold back even a little. No innuendos. He fully curses, even dropping the F-bomb. He outright tells Carolina to shut up when she apologizes for breaking the universe. Yes, just told Carolina to shut up. Nd the best part? He calls his armor color pink when he mentions them making fun of him about it. Yes, no lightish-red people. He outright said pink, and he is owning it. And now, here we are after Donut died, tried to reunite with his friends, was the only one who gave a damn about saving time while everyone else fucked around, and then after his mistakes went out of his way to fix them, and what does he get? Sarge trying to suggest killing him with Shelia.

With all of that now said, Donut says that once he's explained how to time travel so that they can deal with Genkins, he's done. Everyone is left speechless and in shock, as Donut walks off. Wash tells them to go after him and to apologize immediately, which while they mumble about it, they all go off and do right away. Well... Sarge asks if they really can time travel first before Wash sends him on his way too. Hot damn, now that is how you end an episode.

Review

Okay.. so... I liked the episode, but God it's confused me so much. Let's get that part out of the way first.

Huggins being alive? Yeah, we all knew that at this point and her being made of light/information makes sense. I think most of us expected her parents to be alive after the last episode. They're... okay. You can see where Huggins gets her quirks form, but I think it's pretty clear that they've gone insane from being in the Black Hole for so long. They're mainly here for Huggins to find out how to go through time, which tbf Huggins did speculate about that in Episode 7 when debating her options on getting out of the 6th Century, so okay nice subtle foreshadowing. Muggins being Huggins brother, again, had little to no foreshadowing and comes off as weird since Muggins never referred to her as such, not even in his eulogy when he assumed her dead. He just called her 'friend'. IDK, that's very minor in the grand scheme of things.

But honestly this and Huggins other scenes just... has me confused. So... a black hole send her back to before the Big Bang? Yet her parents haven't tried to leave even though they can go through time? It kinda sounds like they were expecting Huggins so... maybe there's a reason? But this mainly makes me question the Everwhen and time travel. So... I assumed that the Everwhen was a simulation, but I guess not. It's legit the past. And Doc was also sent into it, even though he wasn't caught in the paradox. So how did Donut retain his memory? I know they said that he got brought back through Chrovos' essence, so is that why? How can the Reds and Blues shift through time when they haven't entered the Everwhen? Why was losing the Time Gun a big deal if they can just jump back to S16 Episode 14? How does a black hole causing time to loop make any sense at all? I just... I don't know anymore.

Okay... let's talk about something else that won't hurt my brain. Sister and Tucker... there's not much to talk about. Won't lie, I got a giggle out of the bizarre stories that Sister told Tucker just to fuck with him. My only real issue is that... didn't they resolve their issues at the end of S16? Then again I can see Sister still wanting some form of payback, so meh. Otherwise, no real opinion and I'm glad that we didn't drag out Tucker being out of the loop for too long. Donut just being so done with everything and going through the spiel as quickly as possible was definitely worth it. Oh and Doc is back... yeah calling it now, it's O'Malley pretending to be Doc. We saw that he can do it before in S16's finale...and depending on when he took over in S16 Episode 6. I could be wrong, but I don't know... I feel like something big is still waiting.

But enough of all that. Let us talk about Donut and the moment that we have all been waiting for. Now, I will say that the Reds anger over the betrayal is justified... somewhat. Sarge has zero room to talk considering his own actions in S15. Yeah, he did ultimately do the right thing and regret it, but he still did it and couldn't promise that he wouldn't again, so no fuck you, Sarge. You're great at speeches, but you have shit room to talk. Grif has far more justification in his reaction (helps that he wasn't threatening to kill Donut) because.. yeah if Donut didn't take The Hammer, they could have resolved this before anything happened. Mind you if none of them treated him like shit and outright called him 'an empty suit of armor' he may not have, but still Grif handled it pretty maturely I feel. And Simmons... actually he didn't do anything wrong and even asked Donut if he did save them all, so he's off the hook. My point is, yeah what Donut did was wrong, but remember why he did it: everyone treating him like shit. Sarge outright called him an empty suit of armor. Seriously man, what the Hell?

The reason that Donut's 'The Reason You Suck' Speech was so effective, aside from the previous buildup these past few episodes, is because... well, he's right. They mocked him about his pink armor, and even the standard Red one he had when he first showed up. They've always been nothing but annoyed and belittling of him. Sometimes it was justified, like when he showed up in S11 but send the pilot off. Other times, like Tucker asking why they would ever listen to him in S16 were just harsh. And yeah, in Recollection they did leave him for dead. Sure Simmons was concerned, but that didn't last long and none of them ever mentioned him or considered getting his body during S8 or S10 before they found him alive. There is plenty of canon evidence to support this, and it's something that fans have been pointing out for years. And even with the betrayal, the paradox is entirely on them, not Donut. They still chose to cause it, knowing full well what could happen, so they are just as responsible for their shit situation.

Yeah, Donut did betray the group and that was wrong. To some degree, he deserved being called out, hence why I'm more okay with Grif's reaction that Sarge being a hypocrite. And no, they don't know about Donut ultimately changing his mind and trying to stop Chrovos then and there, but was too late. But they weren't exactly allowing him to explain, as per usual, even with Wash backing him up. Which BTW, Thank God for Wash. He was fully on Donut's side, Donut didn't tell him to shut up when he apologized for the multiple shootings, and Wash immediately told the guys to go and apologize. It's the kind of support that Donut needs and I think the push form Wash, along with his own frustration, finally got him to stand up to the others and tell them off. But back to my point, Donut is justified in his anger. Donut is justified in wanting to leave once he's explained everything. If no one will ever give him any shred of decency or even let him explain how he tried to correct his mistakes, yet people like Wash and Sarge got forgiven with little argument, why the Hell should he stand by them?

Final Thoughts

This episode gave me a headache. I think it's so far my least favorite episode. But that being said, I can't call it bad. Huggins is alive, everyone (except Lopez) is back up to speed, and Donut finally, FINALLY got to tell everyone off for treating him like shit for so long. That moment alone made this episode a winner for me. What's going to happen now? Hell if I know, but I am ready for it! Migraine over time travel bullshit be damned!

#rvb #rvb17 #rvb spoilers #rvb reviews #callie reviews

[callie-the-snarky-geek-blog]

RvB16 Episode 2 Review: Incendiary Incidents

(Old Blog Repost)

Last time, not a lot happened other than going out for food, Donut unlocking his true potential as a contortionist, and alien Norse Gods are a thing that exist. Nothing that unusual for this show. We got the setup, so what’ll they do with it now as the pizza quest continues? Lets find out!

Overview

To the shock of no one, Grif crashed the ship. He rushes everyone through the insults and sidenote to Kai’s… so does she actually have regular contact with their mom? Makes me really wonder about where Grif stands with his family. Anyways, good news is the pizza place isn’t far off! They just have to go through some ominous woods! Grif however opts to go through the less than ominous woods which would take longer, but isn’t… well, ominous. This gets Simmons attention. Enough that, as they make their way through, he pulls Grif aside to find out what his deal is. My shipping heart is happy to see Simmons noticing that something’s not right with his not-boyfriend and getting to the bottom of it… please tell me I didn’t accidentally write an innuendo,

So you knwo that ‘new science’ Grif mentioned last episode? Well here’s that new science: laziness… sort of! So when stuck on the moon (I THINK he called it Iris? So… after Michael and Lindsay’s daughter/Geoff’s goddaughter? AWW!), Grif found a book that Jax left behind about story structure. He found out about ‘incendiary incidents’, which are incidents that jumpstart a plot essentially I tried to look it up to see if that’s an actual term… and all I got was a bunch of fire safety websites. But I’ll take Joe’s word for it and say it’s an actual term. So Grif cutting off Jensen before, crashing the ship deliberately as it turns out due to a message from Locus, and avoiding the ominous woods is to avoid getting into an incident that would jumpstart a plot, and therefore lead them into another adventure. IDK if this is clever fourth wall breaking but… wow. WOW. Even Simmons gets chocked up about how much effort Grif put into doing nothing. It’s counterproductive when you think about it, but still!

Unfortunately for Grif, he IS in a webshow with plot structure and the powers to be aren’t going to let them get out of it that easy. Caboose discovered a glowing lake. And a figure emerges form it. Now the episode summary describes a thought to be deceased team member returning. Oh my Gd, that… that’s crazy! It could anyone! But why?! Tex? Flowers? Shelia? Church? Alpha Church? Yellow Church?! The guy who got killed during one of those 360 videos?! The possibilities are endless! It could be anyone! Who knows what kind of shocking twist it cou.. it’s Donut. Who we all knew was alive. Yeah… well I’ll give them this, it had me hyped for the episode.

So Donut… Jesus Christ. No, seriously, Donut is now Jesus. He walked ont he water for crying out loud! Donut says that he had been taken through time and that they have to go into the past to stop a great danger… and absolutely no one buys it. Now to be fair, Simmons makes a good point later. They already went through a time travel story and it turns out it was just a simulation. So them being skeptical about this happening again, especially since only Caboose saw the body horror last episode and I imagine that he forgot by now, is pretty understandable. But yeah no one buys it and Grif feels relieved about avoiding the story bomb… until Simmons points out that refusing the call is an actual story trope. See Grif? There’s no escaping!

So the Reds and Blues make it to ton and… yeah, it’s been totaled. After talking to Jeremy Dooley… I-I mean a cop… no, I’m 90% sure that was Jeremy. Anyways! After that, Donut tries to convince them of time travel again, and this time has actual proof. He has this new gun which he uses to open a portal to a few days earlier. How did he get this? Well to put it simply, after he got hit by Loco’s machine he got sent back in time and his body got wrecked, but God found him and fixed him. IDK if he means the Christian God or one of these alien Gods, but they’ve picked the Reds and Blues to be his time traveling warriors and has sent back four more guns for them to use to go back in time with. The portals can also only fit two grown humans at once.

Unfortunately, things go downhill quickly. So you guys remember the four armed guy from the trailer? Well the sky goes dark and he appears… oh sorry, typed that wrong. I mean that SHE appears. Yes everyone, we have a legit female villain at last!! I couldn’t get her name, but part of it sounded like Callie… which is my name… UGH… anyways! Yeah, she starts causing chaos and destruction. Donut uses a bubble shield, telling the others to use the portal guns and get away. They comply with everyone pairing off: Cabbose and Lopez, Tucker and Sister, Grif and Doc, and Sarge and Simmons. Donut remains behind, though I assume that he’ll follow them later. Huggins, who has been following the group, chases after Grif and Doc by going through their portal. We follow Sarge and Simmons as they land in… what looks like ancient Egypt. Could be wrong, but we’ll have to wait and find out cause that’s the end of the episode!

Review

Well all of that escalated quickly!

So… gonna talk about Grif first! Cause yes, he’s getting a character arc! I mean I guess it could have ended here since his plan failed, but since Huggins went after him and Doc we could get something on that front. Anyways, so I was right and Grif is actively trying to keep them out of getting into adventures. To the point that he’s putting effort into maintaining laziness… that’s the kind of logic I expect form this show. It wasn’t how I expected it, but I expected it. It’s also good to see that he does still have some hangups from the moon. He seems a lot more… what’s the word? High-strung than normal? He’s also still talking in pretty large bursts compared to normal. I don’t know if that’s just me reading into it too much, but it seems like Joe is trying to show that Grif still has hangups from his self-exile. Which hey, if it means more Grif focus, I am not complaining!

The episode is more about plot than the last one. Last week was the setup, and now the payoff is here. So first, Donut. He was written SO WELL. One of the issues last season was that Donut was pretty much a background prop and they even forgot to put him in scenes. Joe must have realized that this was a problem cause he’s already fixing it BIG TIME. Donut’s had shit happen man! He comes off as slightly mroe serious and competent in a sense that he actually knows the gravity of the situation. But he still feels and acts like Donut, which is good! It shows that he CAN be useful and competent, but without sacrificing his personality. Heck he only spouted out one innuendo and it was just to prove that it was really him. I am digging this new direction!

So turns out that the four armed guy si a terrifying alien goddess of death… I dig it! So someone pointed out that this character is similar to Hela from Thor: Ragnarok. SO it REALLY seems like Joe is basing the villain off Norse mythology… or just the Marvel Cinematic Universe verisons of them. Either way is fine. So I’m not sure if… Kali-Ra I think is her name? Anyways it doesn’t seem like she’s with the same group as Huggins cause I imagine that she would have reacted. I also don’t think that this chick is the main villain since DOnut referred to a ‘devil man’, but still she is terrifying and badass and I LOVE it. We finally got a female main villain guys! Joe is the hero we’ve waited for! Yay! Also Sarge asking he rot marry him, Of course he’d want to marry a violent death goddess… I’ll totes ship this!

Alright, time travel! SO ever since Joe mentioned it in that post a while ago, I’ve… been skeptical. Time travel in pretty much every show tends to be confusing and create tons of plot holes. It even happened in RvB before with Season 3 before Burnie retconned it as a simulation. Didn’t save my head from imploding, but still that’s a fair excuse. Hopefully Joe has a VERY good idea on what he’s doing with this, but I’ve been warming up to the idea since then. It’ll be fun to see the guys in different time periods at least! Form how it looks, Sarge and Simmons may go tomb raiding it it really is Ancient Egypt. I mean Sarge vs mummies, there is no way that cannot be epic!

So the gang is being split up, and the pairs are interesting! Sarge and Simmons sin’t that much of a surprise and tbf it’s been a long time since they had some one-on-one time. Simmons has also grown out of being a kissass quite a bit, so it’ll be interesting to see how that goes. Caboose and Lopez are together… so I’ just going to assume that in every animated RT production, Burnie is just meant to be stuck with/get annoyed with Joel in one way or another. Cause that is the impression I’m getting. Tucker and Sister are together, so I imagine flirting… okay I’m good with that! Hopefully Sister gets some focus to herself that isn’t just Tucker trying to hit on her, but still I’m good with this!

And finally Grif and Doc… that one is gonna be interesting. Grif in particular seems very grudgey against Doc for the betrayal and we just saw Doc save Grif form getting crushed by tackling him into the portal. Which props to Doc for that BTW. Still with that and since they’re 100 on an adventure now, Grif’s not gonna be a happy camper. Also if O’Malley gets active and starts going into Grif’s past issues like in S13, I… imagine that’ll be rough for our favorite orange boy. Also Huggins chased after them, so I assume that they’ll be discovering her soon. Which if she pals up with them…t hat could be really cute tbh! I am all for Grif and Doc shenanigans with a a ball of light! But yeah, this could lead to a LOT of things and I’m very interested in seeing how this plays out.

Final Thoughts

It was great! Admittedly this is a lot mroe bizarre than RvB has been in a while but it’s also RvB where Grif still being alive after getting hit by a tank and having Simmons organs thrown into him improperly isn’t ever questioned. Alien Norse Gods? Ia m all for it! Donut being Jesus? Awesome! More setup for Grf having a character arc? HELL YEAH MAN. It was a well done episode, progressing the plot without wasting any time, gives us a glimpse at how dangerous our villains our, gives us a badass female villain, and sets up everything for the episodes ot come. There’s definitely a feeling of epicness compared to last time, so it looks lie Joe is taking the armature gloves off and giving us one Hell of a story. I am very excited to see where it leads!

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb reviews #old blog repost

[thegreatmercutio]

Birthday’s Gifts (Chapter 2) 

A Malec fanfiction (Inspired by the books and the show) 

Summary: It’s Alec’s 38th birthday. Magnus is haunted by old memories of his 22nd birthday...with a visit from an unexpected guest and a special gift that will change the future (I am terrible with summary). 

A look into Magnus’ past.

Rating: Mature. 

(I am terrible with tagging. I can say that It’s a psychological/ thriller/ horror/ romance kind of fic. I don’t want to tell too much. It ruins the surprise). 

Chapter One:

http://thegreatmercutio.tumblr.com/post/166413716004/birthday-gifts-a-malec-fanfic-part-%C2%BD

He smelled of fire and smoke, yet a blend of sweet musk of something earthy and dangerous. 

“Look at you, all grown up.” Asmodeus spoke with a deep icy voice. He stood closer, he reached out and held Magnus’ face. His hands were cold, smooth but yet comforting. “…And so handsome.” He smiled, teeth were white as pearl.

The air in Magnus’ lungs felt like needles. The pace of his heartbeat was slow and hard, pounding against his chest. He couldn’t believe it. Asmodeus was here. Magnus hoped it was a dream, even a nightmare, anything is better than the fear of reality. An unexpected family’s union was not warranted.

“Oh dear, don’t be afraid.” Asmodeus patted Magnus’ cheeks. He smirked. “I know it is hard for you.” His eyes stern at Magnus. “I can feel the fear in you, smell it.” He grinned. “I am not here to hurt you. I am here because you’re my son…and I have a birthday gift for you.” He looked pleased and excited, eyes bright. He stood up tall, looking prideful. 

Magnus was 14 years old, the first time he met his father.

As a young child, he couldn’t comprehend his new reality. A reality with a dead mother and a homicidal stepfather. Magnus learned to believe in the existence of one angel, not Raziel, not Michael, not Gabriel, but the Angel of Death.

His stepfather was not his father. Besides, the obvious—the man was Dutch, and he like many of his kind came to Indonesia to colonized and to take. His mother, was a desperate fool to welcome him into their lives. She thought him kind and a provider for her fatherless son. She said nothing to Magnus about his real father. The bitterness of her betrayal still lingers. She abandoned him to this man’s wrath and hate. Still, Magnus loved her.

As a child, Magnus always wanted to know who his father was. When he was taken to live with the Silent Brothers after the death of his stepfather, he remembered the young shadowhunters’ children who came to witnessed and observed him like an animal. The children were the first, to be brutally honest with him. They told him that he was a demon. A child of a demon. Dirty, unholy, unworthy, and made evil. And that they kill demons like him. That he will die. He was only 7 then.

When he understood that he was a warlock. That the fire, the wind, and the earthy spirit within him was a power they called magic. He learned, that the power made the silent brothers and the shadowhunters feared him, so much that they locked him underneath their sacred grounds behind stone walls. Not as a prisoner, but as something worst. He was kept away from the sun and life. Taught about his inferiority and his placement as a Downworlder, creatures beneath the children of Raziel. His life is due to the mercy of Raziel.  

In his time, he sought quietly for what belongs to him. While the Silent Brothers told him to pray to their angel Raziel, for forgiveness and grace. Instead, he prayed to his father. 

As a child, he believed and needed his father’s existence to be real. Because no one accepted him. He believed his father would accept him. The only family he had. He needed that hope.

Yet, no answers.

Until a warlock was taken in as a prisoner of the Brothers. Locked inside the walls with Magnus. He told Magnus that he knew who his father was and how important Magnus was. His blood was royal, superior to the children of Raziel. For they were made of instruments and he was made of blood. A prince should not live within these circumstances. 

The warlock told that he had the power and the right to summon his father, but the shadowhunters have wards and barriers that were keeping them apart. He told Magnus to leave, escape, and go to unhallowed grounds and there he can call for his father. All he had to do was say a prayer:

“My father, who art in Hell, unhallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in Edom as it is in Hell. Forgive not my sins, for in that fire of fires there shall be neither loving kindness, nor compassion, nor redemption. My father, who makes war in high places and low, come to me now; I call you as your son, and incur upon myself the responsibility of your summoning.”

…And he will come.

He did. Fire and black smoke came from the grounds. Asmodeus had no form then. Only shadows and eyes. Golden cat eyes like Magnus. Magnus was afraid at the time, unsure of the consequences. However, his father welcomed him. Told him, that he was a prince of one of the 7 hells and he warned him of the Shadowhunters and their plan. Their first meeting was short. He told Magnus, that he was never alone and he will see his path to greatness.

Now, here he is. In fresh and form. It would be a lie, Magnus does feel the fear, unsure of his father’s agenda. He was Asmodeus, the prince of Edom. Magnus was also angry. Being the child of the prince of Edom opened many doors, but it also created unwanted troubles and attention among many. Years and years, the shadow of Asmodeus was unbearable. Magnus learned and even his naïve self cannot hide the truth about his father. 

Asmodeus was the angel of death.

Since then, Magnus learned that his father’s name was a curse and that his own path is tolerable without him. He had to be him, he had to be Magnus Bane without Asmodeus. Even though, deep down the acceptance of a father was all he ever wanted. He was after all, still a son.

Asmodeus took a deep breath. He removed his thick fur coat. Tossed it aside. A soft light was lit around them. In the light, Asmodeus looked young. He was lean, tall, and strongly built around his shoulders and arms. It is a failed misconception of demons being deformed creatures with horns and a long tail. Asmodeus was not any of that. He was perfect. Fit, young, and beautiful.

“What do you want?” Magnus took a deep breath. Control is what he needed.

“It’s a beautiful night, very calming.” Asmodeus’ back was facing Magnus. He reached in his side coat pocket and pulled out a silver case. Inside, were a sack of perfectly rolled cigarettes. He placed one on his lips and snapped his fingers, fire lit up. He turned to Magnus and offered one.

“No, thank you.”

“I came here to spend time with you, quite simple, really.”

“I have learned a lot about you, there is nothing simple about you…and you don’t want nothing for anything.” Magnus felt a rush of heat in his hands.

“You’re breaking my heart. Do you believe everything or nothing at all?” He inhaled and exhaled a stream of smoke into the air.

“I know you kill your own children, raped my mother…”

“Words of many, but many are not the words of the truth…but assumptions of the mass.” He smirked. “…And assumptions are not truths.” He smirked. 

The air grew thinner. “…I knew your mother and your mother knew me.” He looked emotionless. “…True, not as the prince of hell…that might have been too overwhelming.” He smiled, amused.

“…And My children…hell is a business, souls are required.” He laughed, as he walked towards the caboose’s exit sliding doors that led to the outside balcony. “You’re lucky my son, that I play favorites.”

“Lucky?” Magnus said sarcastically. Magnus isn’t lucky. Everything that he has done, he did on his own. Magnus watched him as his father stepped outside. He could turn and run. Should he? How far can he run on a moving train? However, the allure of a conversation with the devil is still tempting. 

The truth is tempting.

He followed him. The air was cold but it was gentle. The soft wind tossed the snow like dust into the air. Beyond the glow of the train’s lamps, was nothing but darkness on the horizon. Miles of black forest and untamed lands of the Eastern Europe just passing them by.

“Promise me, that you won’t hurt anyone on this train. Leave them be.” Magnus’ eyes turned gold. He stared at his father. Asmodeus looked pleased and impressed.

“Fine, because it is your birthday…no damnation for the night.” He looked away, taking another huffed at his cigarette. Magnus was not contented. 

“I remember the night you were born. I was there. When you’re mother fell asleep, I visited. I held you in my arms and I saw those eyes.” He looked proud. “…I held you the whole night…your eyes were beautiful.”

“They’re your eyes.”

“Yes, and their yours.”

“You think I believe this nonsense?”

“I protected you. I had to hide you so…I hid those eyes. You were too young to understand…I wanted to take you back to Edom…but the king spoke…he said you’re place and destiny was here.” He looked hurt.

“The king?”

“The biggest star, of the morning light.” Asmodeus looked up, watching the sky. “I remained by your side. Watched you grew up and your power…was unexpected, uncontrollable…and glorious. You were never meant to be hidden. However, your mother…” he took one last puff, and exhaled the smoke into the air. He eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t.” Magnus said sternly. He refused to hear any ill-willed words about his mother.

“I watched you killed him.” He smiled. “The power…I always knew that you’re different.” Magnus felt bile in his throat. The memories of his actions still hindered him. It haunted and tortured him, a reminder that he is a demon–a killer. 

“I didn’t mean too…” His voice shook. The memories hurt. 

“Of course, you did it to protect yourself…the monster was him.”

“He didn’t deserve to die.”

“Yes, he did. He deserves more than death…mundanes are not free of sin. They’re the worst. Easy are they pursued by greed, lust, wrath, and vengeance..give them wealth and riches…and they will burn the world for it.” His voice felt like fire. “I know…” 

“Are you here to tell me of the sinners of the world? lecture me of good and evil?”

“No, I am sure you had enough of that…I am here to celebrate you my son and I come bearing gifts.” He smiled, looking slightly gleed, as much as Asmodeus can be. 

“Birthday gifts.” Magnus said softly, looking down at his music box. 

“In a few cars down, there are three shadowhunters. They have been following you for days. First, they were curious…and now, they want to kill you and your mentor.”

Magnus looked away. He knew it. Asmodeus does want something. “Why? I haven’t broken anything…done anything for them to hunt me!” This is too much for one night. He needed to check on Ishaan. “What game are you playing?”

“They don’t need a reason…” He said boldly. “…And I am your father. I am here to protect you.” Magnus believed him. 

“Is this knowledge my gift?” Magnus walked back, he needed to get to Ishaan.

“No, gifts come after the cake.” The song began to play. Magnus turned back to see Asmodeus holding Tomas’ music box. He slipped it out of his hands. 

“What do you want me to do?” Magnus’ blood was boiling inside, heart speeding in anticipating. 

“Kill them…” Asmodeus looked at him, eyes glowing brighter. He shut the box and the music died. Leaving them in silent.

THANKS FOR READING!!! 

I thought I was going to sum this up in 2 chapters, but I think a 3rd is needed. next chapter, the birthday gift, and Alec returns. 

shout out to: @falloutphanime  (…I shall continue, thanks for reading). 

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #malec fanfiction #asmodeus

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Victory

Holy shit I can't believe we're at the end of this? This has been an incredible journey and I have been stunned and thrilled to have recieved so much support and feedback and love from my friends and readers alike.

I originally planned to release this, the happy version of the ending simultaneously with a "bad" version of the ending. However, I just couldn't get the bad ending to work in a way that I felt comfortable with. I might come back to it eventually, but I need a break from this universe I think.

Special thanks to @sroloc--elbisivni, who proofread this sucker for me, to @zalia and @arirashkae, who helped me come up with this entire idea, and especially to @papanorth, whose art started me on this journey, even if they had absolutely no intention of enabling something quite this dark.

WARNINGS FOR: Character death, blood, violence, and then the normal warnings for this verse; trauma, abuse, and captivity.

From the beginning

Also on Ao3

It takes them six long, excruciating months to find the pirate base on Chorus.

Kimball shows the pictures that the scouts found. Wash doesn’t recognize anything until he sees the quick interior shot that Nguyen had risked her life to get.

Nguyen was on Grif’s squad. She knew that Wash had only ever seen the inside of the base. She’d guarded the door to keep the others away while Wash had had breakdowns in Grif’s room before. She understood better than most who weren’t Wash’s friends, what had happened to him.

Grif had been furious with her for taking that risk, but Wash couldn’t even listen to the scolding he was laying down, because he was staring at the familiar corridor.

“That’s it,” he says. “That’s—that’s their main camp.”

Kimball looks exhausted but triumphant. Nguyen looks smug but the expression quails under Grif’s glower.

“Felix has to be there,” Doyle frets. “We have had very few sightings of him since…”

“Since my capture,” Wash says, mouth dry.

Felix places a hand on his shoulder and Wash leans in, eyes fluttering closed. “Special mission today, David,” he says. “You’re going out with Locus to kill some very important people.” A thumb brushes against his chin.

Felix laughs as Wash tries to lean into Felix’s hand. “Locus is going to hold him down,” Felix whispers in Wash’s ear. “And you’re going to kill him slow. He’ll cry and beg and call your name, and you won’t even hesitate, because you’re not his friend. You’re a weapon. Our weapon. Aren’t you David?”

Wash nods, feeling warm and content at the combination of the touch and the name.

“Felix,” Locus calls, and Felix moves away. Wash turns to Locus eagerly. Locus presses a hand against Wash’s lower back and starts to guide him towards the armory. “Perform well today, David, and you’ll be rewarded.”

Wash nods again. He pauses outside the armory, spotting the green line. Locus places a hand in his hair. “Good. You may cross.”

Wash feels the dread in his stomach dissipate as he gets permission and crosses the line. It’s been ages since he’s been punished for crossing a line. He doesn’t want to break his streak.

Three technicians and the medic are waiting for him. Wash whines as Locus lets go of him but makes no move away from them, even if he hates what happens next.

He hates the armor. It feels wrong to wear for reasons that Wash can’t explain or understand. Armor means he’s not going to be touched. He doesn’t like going out into the field, even if he’s well rewarded when he does well out there. But he doesn’t like it. Coming back is nice, but going out… less so.

“Knees,” the medic drawls, and Wash goes down automatically, whimpering as the medic’s fingers prod his implants. He knows better than to fight them for touching them, knows better than to do anything when people touch his implants. But he doesn’t have to like it. “Good repair today. Proceed.”

Wash doesn’t scream when one of the technicians begins the process of attaching the wires from Wash’s helmet to his implants, even though it hurts. Wash only screams when given permission to these days. He doesn’t even scream in his sleep. He is silent as a stone, even as his hands clench tightly at his sides and his breathing quickens.  

Locus is armored when they’re finally done, and Wash falls into step behind him as they head towards the pelican.

He doesn’t realize as he kneels by Locus’s feet in the pelican, Locus’s hand a comforting presence on the dome shaped helmet, that this is the day that it all ends.

“Since your rescue,” Doyle corrects kindly. “But he’s definitely still on planet.”

“Radio chatter confirms it,” Epsilon says and Wash determinedly doesn’t flinch at the sudden appearance. He’s better about Epsilon these days. He’s better about most things. “Felix is definitely in residence.”

Kimball looks triumphant. “Then we need to be ready. This could be it. If we can take enough of the pirates alive, we might be able to find a way out of this.”

Everyone nods.

“We’ll need to plan carefully,” Carolina says, crossing her arms. She’s not wearing her armor, but the shirt she’s wearing is in her customary shade of teal and Wash’s breath doesn’t so much as speed up when he sees it anymore. The colors of Armonia are no longer an assault on his eyes. “We’ll pick squads carefully. We need to be prepared to work quickly but hit hard—”

“I’ll go,” Wash says without thinking.

The entire room freezes. “Wash?” Carolina says, staring at him.

“I’ll go,” Wash repeats, more firmly this time. He stares at the picture of the hallway.

He only made it to the hallway by the front entrance once before he broke.

He’d given some pirates the slip mid-punishment. He’s being punished for crossing a blue line. Blue like Caboose’s armor, a thick strip of it across a doorway, and Wash had barreled across it, seeing a window on the other side. They’re been waiting for him with a tub of ice water and easy grins, mocking him as he skids to a halt, realizing what’s about to happen.

Between dunkings, they aren’t been careful enough, leave him on the ground too long, coughing out the water in his lungs and shivering. He doesn’t want to move. He wants to curl into a ball and just submit until they stop hurting him because he’s not sure how much more of this he can take.

But Wash manages to break for it, scrambling to his feet as quietly as he can. There’s a teal line on the other side of the room, one that leads to another door. Getting to his feet, his lungs burning, he stumbles forward. Behind him the pirates are laughing about something. Possibly him. But they aren’t looking at him.

He feels himself hesitate at the line but he forces himself forward despite the fear rising in his gut. Crossing teal lines; if he gets caught, he’ll be punished even more. But freedom is on the other side of the line.

He steps across and starts to run. Behind him, he hears shouts—the pirates have noticed he’s missing. He’s in a hallway, and Wash can recognize the kind of heavily fortified door that’s the entrance or exit to a base. Wash lunges forward; freedom is on the other side of that door, if he can just make it—

Locus’s foot plants hard on his chest and Wash lets out a yelp from the floor as the breath leaves his body and he’s not sure how he even got on the floor. “Unfortunate,” he rumbles, and Wash desperately tries to squirm away. “You’d been improving.”

“Fuck you,” Wash gasps. “Fuck you—and your improvement and your training and—”

“Clearly the lessons aren’t taking properly,” Locus says. “One blue. One teal. And you escaped mid-punishment.”

Wash glares up at him. He wants to quail away but he refuses to. Defiance costs in the long run, but adrenaline rushes in his veins and the door is so close that right now, he doesn’t care.  

“You will learn,” Locus grabs him by the back of the neck and hauls him back to the room where the pirates had been. But they’re gone. All that was left was the tub and Felix, carrying a wooden box.

“Don’t worry, Wash,” Felix says as Locus drags Wash back to the water. He kicks the box open and Wash sees him pull out various tools. “I think this time, it’ll stick with you.”

Locus pushes Wash under the water and everything is lost in a haze of pain and punishment that stretches a long, long time.

“I know the way,” Wash says now, almost glad that the scars from that session are on his back, where he can’t touch them. “I know that base. I can help.”

“Wash…” Tucker says.

“Tucker.” Wash shakes his head. Once, he wouldn’t have been able to do that. Tucker would say that Wash shouldn’t go and Wash would just nod and do what he said, and maybe even agree because the handler was never wrong.

“I can fight,” he says instead of giving in. He raises his chin and looks at Kimball and Doyle evenly. “I’ve been out in the field and I know how to navigate the building.”

Kimball and Doyle exchange looks. Kimball’s fingers drum on the table. “Get clearance from Grey,” she orders. “I need to know you’re in good enough condition.”

The meeting ends, and Tucker walks up to him. “Sorry,” Tucker says. “I know this means a lot to you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Wash says. “I haven’t—it’s been a month.”

A month since Wash was finally, blessedly able to feed himself with his own hands. A month since Wash managed to cross a red line without throwing up. So what if he hasn’t been able to cross a blue line without problems or a teal line at all? He hasn’t gone into that dark, quiet place in his brain for ages, and the last few times he’s had bad days, they were shorter and Tucker and Grif could pull him out.

He hasn’t crawled in weeks. He ate a punishment food last night just to prove he could, and he didn’t flinch every time someone moved their hands.

He’s better.

Tucker deflates. “I know. I just… worry, you know? It’s Felix.”

Wash nods, pretending his heart isn’t racing at the thought of that. “I know. I won’t fight him.” He’ll let the others take care of Felix. If Wash faces him, it will be in a cell, with Felix strapped down so he can’t hurt anyone. He won’t be able to hurt Wash. He won’t get near him on the mission.

“Carolina will be there. You’ll be there. I’ll be fine.”

Tucker squeezes Wash’s bicep. “Yeah. You will be.”

Wash breathes deeply and brushes a hand over Tucker’s cheek. Tucker grins at him.

It’s a small, strategic team that breaks into the compound.

It looks… different, and it takes Wash ages to realize why.

The tape is all gone. None of the doors are blocked off anymore. Gone are the piles of discarded tape from the latest maze he was made to navigate. There’s nothing to indicate that this is actually the base that Wash remembers, besides the outline of it.

“Control room?” Carolina says, standing next to him. Grif is on his other side, Tucker at his back. Wash feels grounded, feels real, feels steady.

“Left,” he says. “That’s fastest.”

Wash’s mental map of the base is tangled up because the whole thing was never accessible to him. He’d probably been in every single room, but they were spaced out and overlapping. He’ll have to be careful.

They navigate quietly. They encounter a few patrols, who Carolina and Wash dispatch with ease. Wash doesn’t take their helmets off, doesn’t try to identify them as any of his particular tormentors. Each of them had favorite methods, favorite tricks to play on him when he was particularly docile. They’d reported him to Locus, punished him, beaten him, mocked him.

But they hadn’t broken him. Wash tries to take comfort in that.

Finally they get to the control room and Wash stops with a sudden whine.

A stripe of bright teal paint is crossed over the threshold.

“They know we’re here!” Carolina’s grip on his arm is like steel. “Bitters, Nguyen, get Washington out of here now!”

“Sir!” Bitters and Nguyen each grab an arm and start to drag him away. Wash goes, willing, heart pounding in his ears. Trap, trap, this was a trap…

They move back the way they came and Wash stares.

On the floor of the room is a green apple.

Wash tastes bile, tries to look around the room to figure out who could have left this there, but then his radio crackles to life.

“Disable them.”

There is never a question of not obeying that voice.

Without thinking, without hesitating, without doubting, Wash lashes out at Bitters, bringing his gun down on the back of his neck. Bitters crumples to the ground in an instant and Nguyen turns towards him, scrambling for her radio, for a weapon, but she’s not fast enough. She goes down just as quickly and Wash breathes heavily for a moment before he starts, realizing what he just did.

Falling to his knees he checks the pulses and vitals. They’re fine. Just disabled.

He runs his hands over his helmet, finding himself shaking. This isn’t… how did this… He glances over his shoulder. The apple is still there, on the floor.

He crosses the room towards it, picking it up. It’s innocuous. It’s nothing. It’s a fucking apple.

Apples mean fighting.

He looks over his shoulder at Bitters and Nguyen again, then back at his hand.

The lights in the next room flicker on, letting him see what’s ahead better. Another apple.

Swallowing, he keeps moving forward, through the maze of the base, following the signs until he comes to a door. And not just any door.

The door to his old cell.

Wash stares down at the green line and swallows. It’s just someone fucking with him. There’s no way this is a real green line. Locus is dead. Wash couldn’t protect him from Tucker, and Tucker had stabbed him and—

Wash’s feet moved forward without thinking, clutching his gun. He wanted to see what they were trying to hide, why they’d put down that line.

The lights go off and Wash spins around, raising his gun, heart racing as he searches for his target, for—

“Washington, get on your knees.” Locus’s voice, real and loud and terrifying, fills Wash’s ear and he lets out a cry as everything falls away; the others, just a hallway away, the knowledge that Locus is dead and gone, the fact that he’s free and doesn’t have to do what the voice says any more. But it all falls away because green fills his eyes and the voice fills his ears and Wash falls to his knees.

“Drop the weapon.”

Wash flings the gun down and the lights come back up and Wash freezes, realizing what’s happened.

He’s kneeling in a circle of teal, his weapon halfway across the room, and Felix is standing in front of him, a knife in one hand, a box that’s clearly the source of Locus’s voice in the other.

“There you are,” Felix says.

“Felix,” Wash growls.

“Talking, too!” Felix says, tilting his head to one side. “Honestly, Tucker’s been spoiling you. We gave him a perfectly good weapon and look at you.” He shakes his head. “What a waste.”

Wash growls. “I’m not—”

“You’re not a weapon?” Felix got down on his haunches, at Wash’s eye level. “Prove it. Get off your knees. Cross that line.”

Wash stays where he is. Locus’s voice is physically weighing him down, threatening to crush him. He knows Locus is dead. But the fear of him is oppressively thick and real and Wash can’t shake it off.

And even at the best of things, in the safety of Armonia, with Tucker and Grif on either side of him, Wash hasn’t been able to cross a teal line.

“That’s what I thought,” Felix laughs. His armor color is different, Wash realizes. He’s changed out his orange stripes for green. Locus green. Wash swallows and then recoils as Felix lashes out with the knife suddenly, cutting a stripe down Wash’s cheek. He scrambles away as far as the tape circle will allow, which isn’t far at all. The circle is suffocatingly small, keeping Wash pinned down. It should be humiliating, but the only emotion Wash can find right now is terror. He’s trapped again. Felix has him again. This has to be a nightmare.

“You got Locus killed, Washington,” Felix says softly. “I’m going to tear you apart. Piece. By. Piece.”

“The others will be here soon,” Wash says.

Felix laughs. “No. They won’t be. Sharkface is keeping them nice and occupied, and really. Without you, they have no idea how to navigate this place. By the time they realize none of them have you, you’ll be gone.”

Wash shakes his head. Blood is dripping down his face from the cut and Felix laughs again. “I’ll break you like last time,” Felix says. “It’ll be so easy now that I know exactly how.” He shakes his head. “You know how often I’ve tried that trick? Never worked as well as with you.” He reaches out and grabs a fistful of Wash’s hair and pulls and Wash doesn’t yell. “You like this, don’t you? Not having to think. Just being useful and only having to worry about if you get to hear the sound of your name again or taste good food.”

“No,” Wash says, but his mouth is dry.

“It normally takes years to get people to where you were,” Felix whispers. “Years. You broke in weeks. Tell me, David—” Wash lets out a whine at that name, a name he hasn’t heard since his rescue, “—how long did it take for them to put you back together enough to pretend to be a person again? I bet it was longer than it took us to show you what you really are.”

Wash tries to bite Felix but Felix just moves around him and grabs the back of his neck, pushing down until Wash’s chin is pressed against his chest. “Behave, Wash. You’re already going to be punished for a long time. Don’t drag it out.” The knife presses down through the fabric of his exposed part of his armor, and Wash bites back another cry. “Tell me how many lines you’ve crossed, Washy.”

Wash shakes his head. He knows exactly how many, that’s the problem, he knows how many and Felix knows he knows but he can’t—

Wash screams as Felix sinks the knife into his shoulder then yanks it back out. As soon as he can manage he strangles off the sound, not wanting to give Felix the satisfaction, but it’s far too late for that. “After I break you,” Felix says, wiping the blade clean on Wash’s hair before circling back in front of him. “I’m going to go and catch Tucker, how does that sound? And then I’ll kill him in front of you. That’s how it works, doesn’t it? Kill the handler and take his place?”

Wash feels his stomach lurch and his face go pale.

“If I catch the orange idiot too, I think I’ll have Sharky kill him. You remember Sharkface, don’t you? He broke your ribs that time Locus let him play. He’ll be a good handler, don’t you agree?”

Wash shakes his head. “Please,” he whispers. Not that begging has ever worked before, but Wash can’t stop himself. He can’t control his body.

“I thought you’d be grateful, Wash,” Felix says. “You don’t have to kill them. You’ll just be chained to a wall, unable to do a fucking thing, as Tucker bleeds out all slow. He’ll be staring at you, calling your name, asking for your help, and you’ll just watch.” Felix laughs, an unstable, dangerous sound. Locus’s death is affecting him, the more rational part of Wash realizes. Felix is falling apart at the seams, but that doesn’t make him any less dangerous. “I owe him for Locus too, don’t worry. You’ll get plenty of time with him before he dies.”

Wash feels his head fall. Despair feels like it’s pushing him to the ground, making him feel smaller and smaller, pushing him back towards that dark, pathetic corner of his mind that he never knew existed before Locus and Felix, and now he can’t make go away. He’s not quite there yet but he’s close, and Wash knows that if he crosses into that part of his mind now, with Felix here, he might never come out again. He’s not sure if he can come back a second time.

A noise goes off and Wash looks up. Felix sighs. “Well. I guess we need to get moving.” He holds out his hand and Wash’s blood runs cold at the sight of a familiar pill in Felix’s hand. “Let’s get you ready to go then, Wash.” He takes a step towards Wash.

Panic floods Wash’s veins. This is it. If Felix makes him swallow that pill, it’s all over. He won’t be able to fight back, he’ll be unable to do anything. Felix is about to pull him down again, to drown Wash in his own head, to make him scared and lonely and desperate for human touch again. He’ll eat out of hands and kneel at people’s feet and sleep stock-still and silent. If Felix puts that pill in his mouth his friends will die and Wash will stop being Wash again.

But there’s nothing he can do, trapped in a circle, held in place by several of the first rules he was taught. Don’t disobey Locus. Don’t cross the lines.

He stares up at Felix.

This is it, Wash realizes. If he lets this happen, it’s over.

His hand grabs ahold of a knife hidden in one of the pieces of his armor.

No.

He will not go back. He will not let Felix turn him into that again. He will not let Felix kill Tucker, kill Grif, kill the others and make him watch.

The only thing in Wash’s way is a piece of teal tape and the voice of a dead man.

Wash lunges forward, out of the tape circle, and catches Felix with the knife in the leg. He’d stabbed Carolina there once, he knows, crippling her for months. A weak spot in the armor and the body combined. Felix goes down with a howl of pain and Wash knows he should be terrified, knows that there should be a wariness, because he’s supposed to protect his handlers, not hurt them, but adrenaline rushes in Wash’s system and he no longer cares about that. There isn’t room for fear right now. Only survival.

Wash lunges for the pill now, because without the pill Felix can’t put him down, Wash refuses to go under, he’d rather make Felix kill him than swallow that pill, and Felix shouts, scrambling for the box with Locus’s voice and Wash moves for it too, not sure if he’ll be able to stop himself from surrendering if Locus orders him to. He brings down an armored fist on the box as hard as he can and it shatters. The pieces fly in all directions. It probably would have injured them if they weren’t in full armor, but as it is it’s nothing but a distraction.  

Felix lets out a howl of anger and slashes with his own knife, going for Wash It goes into Wash’s arm but Wash keeps going, slamming one hand against Felix’s helmet, pinning him to the ground, the other hand raising his knife. He scrambles, kneeling on Felix’s chest, breathing heavily.

“Fuck. You,” Wash says, before slitting Felix’s throat.

When Tucker and Grif find him later, he’s still sitting beside Felix’s body, holding the bloodied knife in one hand and the pill in the other.

“Wash!” Tucker yells, rushing towards him.

“I’m fine,” Wash says quietly. “I’m… it’s okay.”

“We can see that,” Grif says. A helmet hits the floor and when Wash looks up, it’s just in time to see Grif spit on Felix’s face. “Fuck you, asshole. Knew you weren’t worthy to wear orange.”

Wash feels a laugh beginning to bubble in his chest. He tries to stop it, because it’s not right, it’s not appropriate, Felix is—

Dead.

Felix is dead.

Wash doesn’t have to be afraid of him anymore.

He’s dead and can’t hurt Wash and can’t hurt his friends and everything is going to be okay now.

So Wash lets himself laugh. He lets himself laugh and laugh until there’s no breath left in him, until Tucker presses against his side and Grif places a hand on his shoulder and Wash finally stands up on his own two feet, tears of merriment and maybe a little bit of something else still falling down his face.

“Let’s go home, Wash,” Tucker finally says, and Wash nods, not because he has to, but because he wants to. He won’t take orders he doesn’t want to ever again.

Pausing, he walks over to Felix’s body and pries off the helmet. He takes the pill between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it there thoughtfully. He never really got a chance to examine them before. It’s white and innocuous and Wash hates it more than anything right now.

He pries open Felix’s mouth and jams the pill down his throat.

It’s meaningless.

It means everything.

He won.

“I told you,” he whispers, too softly for Tucker or Grif to hear. “I won’t break.”

He stands and walks away from Felix and finally walks out the door to the base where he’d been kept for so long.

And there’s no teal line to keep him back.

#deprivation verse #Steph Writes #Agent Washington #Lavernius Tucker #Dexter Grif #Agent Carolina #Felix #Red vs Blue

[einstein-robin-hood-blog]

The Maltese Sub, by Dashiell Hammett (excerpt)

I got a nice severance package when they kicked me off the LA police force. I was the only cop stupid enough not to sign up for a cut of the bribes from the Crooked Pinkie Family. The lieutenant figured if I wouldn’t take dirty money, I’d take some clean money and he’d be done with me.

I used my stake to open a private detective agency in Reseda, next to the Paint and Sip on Vanowen. I had two ops working for me: William Wilson and Wilson Williams. They both insisted on being called “Will,” which made it a little difficult to know who was doing what at any given time. Luckily, I had a crackerjack secretary named Della who was able to keep things straight. Della also had a caboose and a pair of stems that made me reach for the whiskey bottle every time she had to file something in the S through Z drawer. As I learned the hard way, Della had a strict “you can look but you better not touch” policy.

Most of the work was what we called “domestic.” Husbands with cheating wives, wives with cheating husbands, or parents looking for kids that had run off and joined the circus. We also had a constant stream of junkies and strung out taxi dancers who would promise me valuable information if I’d only cough up some scratch. I’d give them a fin and a cup of yesterday’s cold coffee, which is probably why I had a constant stream of them. (EDITOR’S NOTE: Why not brew a fresh pot every morning? Tastes so much better, and you’ll have plenty on hand for company.) (GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Or why not try a coffee enema? You’ll get that same coffee “lift,” but without the stained teeth and upset stomach.)(EDITOR’S NOTE: That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard of.) (GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Embarrassed about enemas? Don’t be! Invite some girlfriends over for a coffee enema party. Memories that will last a lifetime.)

One fine smoggy LA morning, I had a visitor: Rebecca Fortescue. Yes, that Rebecca Fortescue, star of stage and screen. Were it not for some nose hair issues, Rebecca would be the most luscious dish in Tinseltown. Her husband, Chumley Barnstocking, was a nose hair freak, and the most notorious rake in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area. Which was saying a lot. Rebecca took a seat and dove right in: “Max darling (that’s me: Max Darling), I want a divorce.”

“I’d be happy to divorce you, Mrs. Fortescue, but I can’t. We ain’t married.”

“Max! You’re so impossibly droll. I mean I want to divorce Chumley. I think he’s cheating on me.” I choked a little on my coffee, gave the eyes a slight roll, and took out my notepad. (GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: “Divorce” and “breaking up” are words charged with negative energy. My famous rock star ex-husband and I chose to “consciously uncouple” and have been able to maintain a positive, loving environment for our children. WIth the help of an O-lon B-1000 Ionic Air Purifier, of course.)(EDITOR’S NOTE: Oh for the love of Christ.)

I listened patiently as Rebecca outlined her suspicions, giving me the names of a couple of women that Chumley had been seen with around town. I could have added a dozen or so doxies to the list, but in the interest of maintaining good client relations, I said nothing. (GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Sometimes silence can be the most comforting gift of all. A pair of Swarovski crystal studded noise canceling headphones ...) (EDITOR’S NOTE: SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP.) When she was done, I responded:

“Alright, Mrs. Fortescue. We’ll put a tail on your husband. In the event we find anything, we’ll contact you.” Like later this afternoon, I thought.

“Max, you’re a doll!”, she exclaimed. “I can’t thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” (GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Don’t overlook the power of GRATITUDE in your life. We’re surrounded by so many miracles: ionizing air cleaners, noise-canceling headphones, Paint and Sips on every corner. Expressing GRATITUDE for them can raise our level of ...)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: THAT’S IT. What’s your address? I’m coming over there to kick your puckered white ass.)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Come to Malibu! Living by the ocean is such a dream! I greet every day with a lawn ivy smoothie and a full heart! We’re at 2 Celestial Movement Parkway.I’ll leave the door open.)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Got it. On my way. I’m going to break every one of your ribs.)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Can you do me a favor?)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Sure.)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: I’m throwing a birthday party this afternoon for my son Kombucha. I need someone to pick up the cupcakes. Do you mind?)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Sure. What’s the address?)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Great! It’s the Oblivious Privilege Bakeshop, 2933 La Cienega, next to the Paint and Sip. They’re all paid for, you just need to pick them up. I ordered two hundred, so feel free to nibble on the way over. I went with the avocado and pumpkin seed frosting!)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: Got the cupcakes. They’re not bad. I’ve already eaten three.)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: Told you! You should stay for the party. I’m making a sackweed casserole.)

(EDITOR’S NOTE: I will! Thanks for the invite. And we can forget about the ass kicking.)

(GWYNETH PALTROW FOR GOOP!: GRATITUDE!)

It didn’t take long to find Chumley. He made it easy for us. He managed to get himself shot four times right through the fracas. They found his body in an alley off of  Sixth Street, right behind the Paint and Sip on the corner of Sixth and Rickenbacker.

Like most murders in LA, this one had some weird twists: Chumley’s cold dead mouth had been stretched wide open. Wide enough to fit half a tuna sub. Which it did. On his forehead was a large “X,” written in chipotle mayonnaise. And the kicker: in his pocket was part of a recipe for that very same chipotle mayonnaise. Written with a pencil stub, it read: “One cup mayonnaise, 1/4 cup chinese black vinegar, tablespoon cumin, handful chopped parsley, and then ask Jack to come over and finish it.” Kind of puzzling. Where was the chipotle? Was that something Jack would add? And who was Jack? Lots of guys named Jack in LA.

I thought it wasn’t my problem, until Rebecca Fortescue stopped by my office to pay her tab. She didn’t seem bothered that Chumley had gone to the big nightclub in the sky. But when I told her that the cops had found part of a chipotle mayonnaise recipe in Chumley’s pocket, she stiffened like she had been given a dry ice cold brew enema. “Sam, I must have that recipe. Jack will...” and then she stopped short. “I simply must have it. For sentimental reasons.”

She was hiding something, but most of my clients were. I agreed to take the case and started calling my friends on the force to see what they knew about chipotle mayonnaise, black chinese vinegar, and if they knew anyone named “Jack.”

[calliecat93]

RvB16 Episode 8 Review: Recovery

Last week had some... mixed reception to say the least. Like to the point that some were outright outraged by it kind of mixed reception. Now personally. I was okay with it, but I can certainly understand people getting fed up. It looks like Joe needs to give us something nice to make it better... and bringing Wash and Carolina back finally is a pretty good start! So lets see what our two Freelancers get themselves into!

Overview

We begin on Chorus where good news, Wash is up and can still talk! Take that ‘new Meta’ theories! He’s telling Carolina about his old cat, Loki, who despite getting electrocuted, dried n a dryer, etc always came out perfectly fine. Lived to be 25. Aww, kitty! Anyways, we find out that the bullet form S15 was actually a head injury, but Wash says that he’s doing better. Well eh certainly seems to be in a good mood. Carolina takes him to a basic training course that she use son occasion and Wash challenges her to a race on it. While she does remind Wash that he’s on the mend, she ends up agreeing.

Things go well at first with the two having a good time. While Wash struggles a little, he’s still trying his best. Carolina is in perfect form, so safe to say that she’s fully recovered from the armor lock. Wash however ends up tripping up. He’s okay, but... well we find out about a mroe serious issue. Upon tumbling, Wash asks why he was on the course to begin with since he’s in no condition for it. And I don’t mean int he way that he’s frustrated and asking why he even attempted it. No, he legitimate does’t know why he was on the, assuming that Carolina’s competitiveness is to blame. Carolina can only roll with it, clearly distraught at this.

Later, Carolina goes to speak with Dr. Gray who is int he middle of an autopsy. Gray confirms that while Wash’s physical condition is recovering steadily, the head wound has affected his memory. This ugh... hits really close to home for me. I’ll talk further in the review. Anyways, Carolina is unwilling to tell Wash about this, even when Gray says that she herself prefers to let her patients now everything. Carolina’s reasoning for not talking is because of how many times she’s seen Wash get back up, regardless of what he went through. She even calls him the strongest Freelancer. So having to tell him about this... well it’s hard for her. Gray also asks if she’s heard from the Reds and Blues yet, with Carolina saying that they can handle themselves regardless of what they got into. Aka, she’s very concerned.

Back in the Sixth Century, Huggins is once more trying to talk Grif into teaming up with Grif not having any of it. His main reasons being that Huggins’ people caused pizza to not exist (which she denies) and because working with a lens flare is stupid. But Huggins does get his attention when she tells him about Doc and O’Malley... well after she tries to give exposition about the Gods and he refuses it. Must be a jab at the criticism last year. Anyways, Huggins explains that up until the betrayal, Doc would only go into O’Malley when Grif was sleeping at night and that he is now a Shisno. What is a shisno? An alien slur against humans, right? Wrong! A shisno is an agent of the ancient time God Chrovus. Going off the name, he is clearly based off Chronos, Personification of Time.

So as it turns out time travel can be kind of dangerous. And not just because it can change events, oh no. According to Huggins’ kind, time travel can warp the mind, fulled by the desire to fix the past. Those last three words sound familiar? Yeah, we have a LOT to talk about int he review section. But the point is, if you get too deep into fixing the past,, you get corrupted and become a Shisno. AN Agent of Chrovos. This gets Grif to angrily ask why Huggins didn’t speak up before, but she says that she wasn't allowed and talking to him now is going to get her into trouble, but unless they work together they’re stuck. Grif continues to refuse however and outright snaps when Huggins throws the sister card, saying that she’s in the same time period. That gets him to outright try and shoot Huggins, which fails cause she’s a ball of light. So he threatens to toss her into a black hole, which makes her back off. Sheesh...

Back in Chorus, Dylan has called Carolina due to having some major news. She shows Carolina some historical images... that have Tucker, Lopez, and Caboose in them. Yeah... Dylan has pieced together that the Reds and Blues are lost in time, even pointing out Loco’s time machine which makes it very plausible. TO say that Carolina is unhappy about this would be an understatement. Dylan has tried to dig into it, but ever scientist she went to got her laughed out of the building. She has found someone though, but he is on location so Carolina will have to go to him herself. Carolina is at first reluctant, until Dylan reminds her that Caboose has a time machine. So for the sake of all fo time, Carolina agrees to meet with the expert.

Back in Ancient Italy, Grif has calmed down and is asking about his sister. Huggins confirms that while she’s in England, both she and Tucker are in the Sixth Century. This gets Grif to finally agree to work with her, but only to get back to his sister and friends. He also has some demands. He wants no exposition about Gods and stuff (GDI Grif, this si the good kind of exposition!0, no talking in general (that’s not gonna last), and he wants Huggins to dim her light. Huggins agrees and also asks Grif to not bring up black holes again because one killed her parents. Ouch... but yeah, Grif is reluctantly on board with going to England. Huggins is so happy she brightens up! Literally! This is gonna be fun!

To close out the episode, we once mroe cut to Chorus where Carolina is speaking to Wash. She informs him that the Reds and Blues are in trouble and Wash is ready to go help. But Carolina intends to go alone since Wash is still recovering, even pointing out that all she’s gong to do is talk to Dylan’s expert. But Wash is unwilling to stay while the guys are in trouble, also thinking that it’ll help him focus. Reluctantly, Carolina agrees to let him tag along. The two head off, Wash asking Carolina if he ever told her about his cat Loki. Ow...

Review

Well... that was... ow... okay, as I said we have a LOT to discuss.

Lets do Grif and Huggins first. So Huggins reveal means... a lot. I’m gonna speculate more when we’ve gone over all the character stuff though. Huggins herself continues to be so freakin’ great. Cheerful, but also knowledgeable. Proactive, but also silly. She’s patient with Grif, not even getting mad when he threatens her with the black hole and even understands him not being willing to trust her despite his denial of it. Like I am seriously loving her and Grif’s interactions. It’s like a cherry younger sister/annoyed with everything older brother dynamic and it works perfectly. Like picking Grif to be the one stuck with Huggins was a perfect choice.

Grif himself has been so well done this season so far. Like him getting angry enough to shoot at Huggins is a little extreme, but with how nothing has gone his way all season, it’s understandable that he’d be pissed. Plus he DID come around at the end once he calmed down and realized that he can reunite with his sister and Tucker. Seriously, it seems like using Sister against him regardless of the intent is a VERY good way to make hims nap. It was what made him snap at Dylan back in S15 after all. SO yeah, no one use the sister card against Grif. Ever. But he is setting aside not wanting any par tin anything for his friends, which shows that ultimately they will come before everything else. So the development form last season has stuck, which is good! It really feels like Grif is being set up into the main protagonist role, kind of like Church has been through mot of the show and Tucker during Chorus. Which I am all for cause he deserves the spotlight!

Okay, so onto Freelancer. SO I’m gonna be honest, this was hard to get through. Not because it was bad. It was VERY good. It was so good to finally see Wash and Carolina again after so long and to have them back in the plot. But... Wash’s memory lapses... well it hits hard. When I was 12 years old, my dad got a brain tumor. While he survived it, they had to do brain surgery to remove the tumor and that permanently damaged his memory. His lapses were like Wash’s, constant short term memory loss. He’d forget about appointments, things he said, what he was doing/supposed to be doing, phone numbers, etc. It was like that for 12 years, right up to when he died in February. TO say that this hit me hard would be an understatement. I was outright teary eyed as Wash started to repeat the cat story to Carolina and the emotional turmoil his state is leaving her. It... it hit hard. And Wash has been a character I never particularly cared for, but this... man my heart breaks for him because going through that is absolutely horrible and frustrating. I hope that he’ll be okay,

It makes me feel for Carolina too, maybe even moreso. Like her not telling Wash? Horrible idea. He needs to know about his memory issues so that at least if he forgets things, he knows why. Like Gray said, it’s best to tell them everything. But at the same time, watching such a strong person go from normal to... for lack of a better word broken with you unable to do anything about it is terrible. As someone who has been in her position, it is incredibly difficult and emotionally draining to go with. So while I think that she’s making a huge mistake in keeping it to herself, I can absolutely sympathize with her position. Joe really captured her feelings well and while I feel for Wash, it’s good that eh decided to have the injury cause consequences instead of writing it off as a full recovery. I’m glad that he went this route.

Wash and Carolina themselves were well done. I liked them just talking in the beginning and Carolina trying to help Wash with the training course. Her worry about the Reds and Blues, despite her best efforts to not be worried, is also good. Her being absolutely exasperated but unsurprised that they got lost in time also made me giggle. Seriously, they are all SO grounded. Wash also immideatly ready to jump up and go with Carolina once he finds out is also great. It’s clear that he’s probably not fit for it, but he is not going to sit back when his team clearly needs to be found. But yeah, it was so good to finally get these two back and Joe certainly made up for lost time with them. I am very pleased. Hopefully it won’t be another 7 episode gap without seeing them though.

Okay, so back to the Shisno thing. So as we learn form Huggins, ‘fixing the past’ is really just a way to break people’s minds and convert them into Chrovus’ minions. So it’s kind of like mind control, but not the conventional type. So I think that Grif is perfectly fine. Why? Because Huggins made it pretty clear that what mainly causes the corruption is getting sucked into fixing the past. Grif has wanted nothing to do with fixing it. Sure maybe he has some signs with some stuff like nearly blowing himself up or shooting at Huggins’, but I think that he’s the most safe out of everyone. Sister and Tucker I think are also okay since they spent all their time banging dead celebrities and to confirm if they sexed or not. Then again, they were immune to Chrovus’ blasts, but IDK if that’ due to the corruption or if using the time guns just does that instantly. But for now, I think that they’re fine.

That brings us to Sarge, Simmons, Donut, Caboose, and Lopez. So Donut is definitely a shisno. Think about it. It’s clear that the ‘God’ he met was Chrovus. He fixed him and likely converted him himself, then gave him the guns to kickstart the Reds and Blues going through time with the cryptic ‘saving the future means fixing the past’ speil. Like that’s what ‘fixing the past’ means, a blank term that will draw in someone, make them come to their own conclusions, go through time to fix whatever, and the more they get invested the easier it becomes for Chrovus to corrupt them. Now it IS possible that he just fooled Donut and lied to him to make him do it willingly, but I’m really not sure.

That leads us to the other four. Now we haven’t seen Caboose and Lopez in forever, but last we did they were going through time to find Caboose’s penny to start an interest account. So I have NO idea if this is going to affect them or not. I think Lope will be fine, maybe even go with it cause Lopez hates everything so he won’t care. Caboose... well he’s kind of trying to fix the past, even if it’s misguided. So it’s possible. But I don’t know for sure until we see them again. Then Sarge and Simmons, it’s even harder to call. Sarge was absolutely fixated on fixing the past until Episode 5. Simmons wanted to test the gun and frequently try to get Sarge back on task about fixing the past until Episode 5. They both called it quits, but IDK if they are still in Desert Gulch or are going through time again at this point. But Sarge fit the criteria and last we saw, Simmons gave up on logic itself. So it is very possible for them to get corrupted and the fact that it’s been so many episodes wince we saw any of these four and Donut concerns me. You’re an evil man Joe.

Okay, so chances are Grif and Huggins will eventually get to England, get captured, thrown into wherever Tucker and Sister are, and they’ll somehow ge tout and get the gun back. I’m going to assume that it got confiscated and Tucker and Sister are in a dungeon somewhere. I could be wrong, but that seems to be where we’re heading. So currently IDT that these three will get corrupted. It’s also pretty likely that Carolina and Wash will also get sucked into the past eventually. I think that Carolina will be okay. Sure maybe she’ll get tempted, but I think that she’s reconciled with the past and won’t seek to change it. IDK if Wash will either, but with his current state... well it looks like Villain Wash may be making a comeback guys.

Final Thoughts

This was such a good episode. The Freelances are back, bits of character development, some much needed info about the Shisno stuff, and overall it was very well done. It hit all the right emotional notes. Seriously, if you were not happy with last weeks episode, I think that this will be a much better watch for you. Very well done!

#rvb #rvb16 #rvb16 spoilers #rvb reviews

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Truth or Dare

It’s been a whole damn year! Can’t believe it! 

Here we are, finally dealing with the fallout of We All Fall Down! 

As always, a thousand thanks to my friends and everyone who’s stuck with me on this journey!

Characters: Donut, Wash, Mitch, Martha, Jackie, and Caboose

Ships: Mostly gen, some background Tuckington, and Mitch/Niner

Warnings: lots of discussions about canon events, particularly Wash shooting Donut. As expected. 

Link to start of series

Also on Ao3

This is true:

Agent Washington shoots Franklin Delano Donut. The bullet goes right through him. A clean shot. He begins to bleed profusely, and his armor goes into lockdown to save his life. Doc lies to Agent Washington to save him.

Donut lives.

This is true:

Donut hasn’t had a brother in a long, long time. Not a brother by birth anyways. He’s got Grif and Simmons and Tucker and Caboose and the others but it’s different. That’s family that’s found. Just as important, but still.

Donut’s been mourning David for a long, long time when his brother sits by him in the cafeteria and apologizes.

This is the lie:

Donut doesn’t make it off the Staff of Charon. Their family goes to the funeral.

Their mother sits next to Wash, and when she asks him who he is, he tells them he was Donut’s superior officer.

Donut circles back to the big house late.

Mitch is waiting for him, it seems. There’s a glass of wine poured out for him, waiting on the table. Mitch doesn’t like wine much. It’s a peace offering.

He ignores it.

“It’s not fair!” He tells her.

“Frank,” Mitch says, her face twisting up in that way that means she thinks he’s being stupid. He hates that face.

“No!” He snaps. “You listen to me, Michelle!”

She stops.

“You don’t get to… you don’t get to do this and say it’s because of me,” he snaps. “We… it’s not his fault!”

“He seems to think it was,” Mitch says.

“It wasn’t,” Donut protests. It’s oversimplifying things, he knows. And it’s not, strictly speaking, true. Wash knew what he was doing, even if he didn’t know who Donut was. He just hadn’t cared.

But Mitch doesn’t know about Freelancer. She doesn’t know about Epsilon or Price or any of the other things that the Reds and Blues have seen. She doesn’t know about the Meta, or Hargrove, or Felix and Locus and…

It’s different. She wasn’t there, for the war. She doesn’t get to judge.

“I forgave him,” Donut tells her, because it’s true. He’d forgiven Wash long before he’d known the face behind the helmet. He’d forgiven him when he was still just a Freelancer hardass. “You don’t get to make him feel like this because of me.”

Mitch looks at him, and sets down her glass. She’s barely touched it.

“Alright,” she says. “I’ll talk to him.”

Donut watches her walk away, towards Tucker and Wash’s house, and curls his fingers around the scar on his abdomen.

It’ll all be fine.

He’s sure of it.

This is true:

Agent Washington finds out that Donut is his brother accidentally. His memory is blurred by Epsilon and the past, and the firm knowledge that he never had a brother.

Until he did.

This is true:

When Wash has been home three weeks, Jackie wears her hair up in a ponytail, but lets part of it hang down. “Do you think I’d look good with an undercut?” She laughs.

Wash calls her “Connie” that day. When he realizes it, he goes very quiet, and doesn’t talk to Jackie for the rest of the day.

Jackie is careful to never wear her hair like that again.

This is the lie:

Jackie leaves the house the night she finds out her older brother shot her younger one, and she says that she’d be back the next day.

“Caboose!” Jackie blinks, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Caboose beams at her, and reaches down and picks her up in a hug. “Jackie! Freckles said that you were sad and that is why you weren’t coming to the farm anymore! So I came to try to make you not sad!”

Jackie laughs, letting her feet dangle in the air for a while. She can’t really hug back—her arms are pinned pretty firmly to her sides by the hug she’s trapped in, but she doesn’t mind.

“Thank you Caboose,” she says. “I do feel better.”

Caboose almost drops her, then remembers, and carefully sets her down. “So are you coming back?” Caboose asks, and Jackie flinches internally.

“I’m—I’m not sure, Caboose.”

Caboose’s face falls. “Why not?” He asks, plaintively.

Jackie takes Caboose’s hand and carefully guides him inside. He follows, letting her lead him into the apartment. Her roommates are at work, so it’s just her today. She hopes Caboose doesn’t notice the way that the photographs are spread everywhere. It’s clear how much she’s going over it, at least to her. And Caboose is very perceptive, in his own way.

Jackie gives Caboose a glass of juice and some cookies that Mitch had sent her home with a while ago. They’re old, but Caboose doesn’t care, carefully eating, staring at her with those big brown eyes of his the whole time. Jackie has to stop herself from taking off her glasses to avoid them.

“I’m angry, Caboose,” she says. “I’m mad at Wash. Because he broke a promise.”

Caboose stares at her, eyes wide. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jackie says.

Caboose’s face suddenly takes on that odd, pensive expression that he gets when he makes a connection. “He promised not to hurt Donut?” He still says the name very slowly, as if unsure if he’s saying it right. Jackie nods, encouraging him. The therapy and the medications are clearly doing Caboose a world of good.

“He promised he’d look after us,” Jackie says, sitting down next to Caboose on the couch. “He always said it was his job.”

Caboose frowns. “But he didn’t know, so is that really breaking the promise? Freckles says you can’t break a promise if you don’t understand what you promised.” He says, perfectly practical and reasonable.  

Jackie’s heart squeezes. “Maybe not,” she says. “But he still did a bad thing, Caboose. It isn’t nice to hurt people.”

Caboose nods, then goes back to his cookie. “Wash is sad,” Caboose says. “All the time now.”

Jackie swallows. “I know.”

Caboose frowns at her. “That’s not very nice,” he says, reproachfully.

Jackie can’t look at him, hands clasped firmly in her lap. “I know,” she says again.

He picks up one of the pictures on the table. It’s one of them from just a few weeks ago. Wash and Mitch with their greying hair, Mitch leaning against Martha’s shoulder. Wash laughs at something Donut’s saying, one of Donut’s arms thrown around Wash’s shoulder, the other one over Jackie’s. Jackie’s glasses are crooked and she’s smiling.

“I’ll think about it, Caboose,” she says, putting her small hand over Caboose’s large one. “I promise.”

He smiles at her, and Jackie knows she’ll be driving him back to the farm at the end of the day.

This is true:

Agent Washington nearly looses Donut again on the Staff of Charon. It’s close. Too close.

But they make it. They all do, except Church.

And at the end of it, after conferences and rebuilding and Kimball’s election and…

Donut takes his hand and drags Wash home.

This is true:

The night Carolina moves in with Martha, they have a few too many drinks, and Carolina begins to laugh.

“It’s my fault he’s…” she tells Martha, staring down at the brown bottle in her hands. “I didn’t… I should’ve… I think he hates me, sometimes.”

“He doesn’t,” Martha says. “You’re his sister.”

“I had a brother,” Carolina says abruptly. “He… he hurt Wash bad. I don’t think… he’s gone now, and I can’t talk to him about it, because Wash was right.”

Martha doesn’t know what to say. She gives Carolina a glass of water and takes away the bottle.

This is the lie:

Martha goes right home. She doesn’t go to a field, not far from the farm, and climb an apple tree, and cry, sitting in the branches, trying to understand how they got here.

Martha doesn’t stay away long.

She has a shop in town, yes, but it’s more of an office, a place to pick up orders.

Her real shop is at the farm, in the shed where Grif won’t go near because of the bat hutch Mitch installed years ago.

In the morning, Carolina passes her a glass of water and an aspirin.

“You were out late,” she says.

“Yeah,” Martha says.

Carolina places a hand on her shoulder. “He’s… I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself. My… Church was there when he found out. He had to call me.”

“Church,” Martha repeats. “Your brother.”

Carolina flinches. “Yes.”

“Wash is your brother too,” she says.

Carolina’s expression is shuttered, but Martha knows the answer.

“You said Church hurt Wash,” she says. “Did you… could you forgive that?”

Carolina reaches up, touching her hair. It’s getting long, almost brushing her shoulders now.

“I… it was difficult,” Carolina says. “I didn’t think about it that way for a long time. It was… tricky. Complicated. We were at war, and I was… driven.”

Martha tilts her head, listening, not saying anything.

“When I did,” Carolina swallows. “I realized that Wash… it was his place. Not mine. It was up to him.”

Martha turns away. “Frank forgave him,” she says, slowly, as if testing out the words in her mouth. They taste sour.  

“He did,” Carolina agrees. “I wasn’t there for that. When Wash shot him. It was before my time.”

It’s an apology, maybe, or something else that Martha doesn’t have words for.

She nods in acknowledgement. In the doorway, she hesitates. “I’m sorry about Church.”

Carolina laughs, short and bitter. “Me too,” she says.

Martha goes to her shop. Lopez is waiting there for her. He’s got a cup of coffee in one hand, a cup of oil for himself in the other. She takes the one he offers to her, sniffing it carefully before drinking. Lopez likes her, but he’s not above playing a joke.

“You knew,” she says, not bothering with Spanish for once.

“Si.”

Martha gets the handsaw and starts cutting up boards into smaller pieces. She’s not sure what project she’s even working on.  

“I don’t hate him,” she says. She’s not sure who she’s talking to—Lopez, the bats, herself. “I don’t. I don’t.”

Lopez says nothing, just moves the lumber piles.

“He’s my brother,” she says. “I love him. I do. Idiot. Stupid, idiot, stupid…”

She’s not sure if she’s referring to Wash or herself.

This is true:

Tucker is the first to follow Wash home. The others come soon after.

The farm starts to burst to the seams, full of light and laughter.

Felix comes to the farm, but even that can’t shatter what they’ve built. A home. For all of them.

The family continues to grow, and sometimes, none of them can believe that this is real.

This is true:

On their third night of marriage, the topic changes to Andi’s service. Andi doesn’t like talking about it. But she’s willing to tonight and Mitch listens, hanging on to every word.

“I had a squadmate,” Andi says. “He… he got really messed up. And they… they should’ve sent him home, but they didn’t. And I… I maybe could’ve done something, but I didn’t.”

“Not your fault, Andi,” Mitch says, reaching out to take her hand.

“He’s dead now,” Andi says. “They all are. I’m the only one left.”

She turns her face towards the sky she can’t fly in anymore, and gazes at the stars.

This is the lie:

Mitch waits until morning, and when she wakes up there’s a note on her counter and Wash is gone.

They rip themselves apart in his absence, fighting over things like blame and the past, and Mitch throws up in the bathroom sink, worrying that she’s lost him again.

They go hunting for him, and don’t find him.

Wash nearly shoots Martha in a clearing, startled out of a waking dream.

Mitch goes to Wash’s house that night.

The one he built with Tucker. It had taken them ages to build, even with all the others helping and Martha supervising. It had been loud and fun and wonderful; paint had gotten everywhere and everyone had splinters.

Charlie and Tucker are home, sleeping peacefully.

Mitch can’t sleep. She makes herself coffee as quietly as she can and sits on their couch, listening to the night sounds of the little village her new family has built. She can hear Sarge’s snores from here. Lauren’s light is on—she’s up late reading under the covers again.

There’s no light on in Donut’s little house.

Mitch lets her coffee go cold.

She hears Wash begin to toss and turn and cry out, and she starts the coffee again, knowing he’ll want it.

She’s fine until she hears him yell. “Donut!”

She closes her eyes, and sits down hard on the couch. She knows what he’s having nightmares about, and she doesn’t like it, not one bit.

“Mitch,” he croaks. He looks awful—rings around his eyes. He looks like he does in those early pictures Tucker has shown her, of what he was like before Chorus, before coming home.

Her brother came home broken, but god, these Reds and Blues had put him back together as best they could, and she’ll never be able to thank them enough for it, for taking that haunted look away, to make it a rarity instead of an everyday occurrence.

“You were screaming Frank’s name,” Mitch looks away.

“I was?”

Mitch nods. “Martha’s still mad,” she says—the phone call echoes in her ear. Martha’s voice slurred with alcohol. Carolina’s messaged her, promising that she’d make sure nothing bad happened. “But she’s calmed down.” She finally looks up at Wash again. “You’re not hurt, right?” Her eyes linger on the bruise Martha left.

“I’ve had worse,” Wash says.

“Andi’s told me about your worse, David,” Mitch says, doing her best to stop her voice from shaking. Shot in the back and left for dead, spaceship crashes, rogue AI…

Wash flinches. “How much—”

“Bits and pieces,” Mitch says. “Some she told me before she knew you were my brother. Others she told me to explain a few things.” The nightmares. The scars. The way he called her “North”, the day she’d worn purple.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Wash asks.

“I wanted you to tell me yourself,” Mitch says, the old, familiar anger bubbling up in her. She keeps it down as best she can—she can’t lose her temper, she can’t yell, she came here to make peace. “I wanted you to trust us.”

Wash looks away. “Mitch—the things I’ve done—’

“Are bad,” Mitch says. “I get it. And… it’s not okay. What you did. But Frank’s forgiven you.”

“He forgives too easily,” Wash says tightly.

“He always did,” Mitch replies. “Remember when he made cookies for that kid you shoved into a mirror? Even though he’d kicked Frank’s ribs so hard they were purple? That’s who he is.”

“Didn’t Martha put stuff in the cookies?” Wash seems dazed when he tries to drudge up the old memory

“Probably,” Mitch says, mouth twitching at the memory. “She holds grudges the best of any of us. Except you of course.”

Wash flinches. Mitch wonders, once again, what she’s said wrong. There’s too much she doesn’t know, too much she can’t fix.

“Look. It’s not okay. But Donut yelled at me for a straight hour about how we didn’t have the right to hold grudges for him. Not with you.”

Mitch hugs him. Because this, this she knows. She knows her brother. She knows he needs this. This reassurance.

“Martha won’t stay mad forever,” she promises, even as he locks down in her grasp, not hugging back, but not pulling away. “And Jackie’s already calling every therapist she knows. She… she thinks it might be good if we all talk to someone. As a family.” Jackie’s messages have been short and brief, all hypotheticals instead of feelings. She thinks Jackie’s struggling processing. She stops hugging him, but leaves her hands on his arms. “But I think we need to know the whole story David. No more vague answers. No more avoiding it.”

She meets his gaze evenly.

“You need to tell us about what happened at Project Freelancer.”

This is true:

Dexter Grif is the one to let it slip, in the end. It’s thoughtless, careless, a response to a question about scars.

Martha hits Wash in the face, and as he crumples to the ground, he knows he deserved it.

This is true:

That night, Wash climbs into bed with Tucker, mentally preparing a list of everything he should pack for when he leaves. He won’t intrude here, where he’s unwanted. He won’t force that upon his sisters, his family.

This is the lie:

Agent Washington doesn’t come home, after the war.

He buries his brother, and sends off his family, watching them until their ship vanishes into the distance.

He’s lost, after that. Listless.

Carolina’s the one who pulls him out of it.

“Let’s go,” she says. She’s lost a brother too.

At least he still has her, he thinks, following her, wherever it is she intends to go.

It takes them a few days.

Martha pulls him aside on day four, and tells him she doesn’t hate him.

Jackie is the last holdout, finally showing up with Caboose and a thin smile. Wash wonders if he should be surprised, but he knows his sisters. Jackie will have thought every inch of this through before letting herself return to the scene. If she’s hear, she’s ready.

“Sibling night,” Mitch declares at dinner, and she sends the kids to Grif and Simmons’ place for the night, while Andi takes Caboose and goes to play cards with Tucker at their place. Carolina goes home without Martha.

It’s just the five of them, sitting around the table.

Mitch comes out of the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey.

“We’re going to need it,” she says.

Wash wonders if this is a good idea. Martha shoves a glass at him.

“Start from the beginning,” Jackie says. At least she’s not taking notes.

Donut kicks Wash lightly, and smiles.

Wash takes a deep breath, and begins to talk. It’s slow going at first, with Jackie interrupting to demand answers about the Counselor, and Mitch nodding whenever she recognizes something from Niner’s stories. Donut occasionally has his own interjections—things he learned over the years, stories from Church or Carolina or even Tex.

Martha is perfectly silent, staring into her glass.

When he gets to Epsilon, Martha knocks over her glass. “What?” She yells.

He stares at her.

“That’s… oh my god,” she’s on her feet, pale. “That’s what she meant?”

“Who meant?”

“Carolina!” She yells. “She… fuck!” She sits down again and buries her face in her hands.

Mitch doesn’t look surprised. Jackie’s been silent since he started explaining about Alpha.

Donut reaches over and squeezes his hand.

Donut takes over from that point, starting to tell about Blood Gulch. There are gaps, but it gives Wash a break, lets him sort out his thoughts.

The mood lightens as Donut tells his part of the story. The alcohol is helping, softening Jackie’s expressions and loosening Martha’s muscles enough that she leans up against Wash. It’s the first time all week that Wash has believed her that she doesn’t hate him, and he pets her hair absently as Donut sings excerpts from the musical he wrote about time travel.

But Mitch’s eyes keep flickering back to him, and he knows what she’s thinking. She knows they’re heading towards a collision of the worlds of Freelancer and Blood Gulch. She knows this won’t be a happy ending.

Eventually, Donut’s story leaves Blood Gulch, and Wash is forced to start speaking again. He mentions Command, and Mitch pours herself another drink, her hands shaking slightly. He wonders how much of this Mitch has heard from another perspective.

He talks about South. About the Meta. About finding Caboose, then Church, then the Reds, but not Donut.

He talks about going into the building with Church, about luring the Meta into the depths of Freelancers, and Jackie’s eyes are bright.

She knows what he isn’t saying, he realizes.

She knows he wasn’t planning on coming out of there alive.

Underneath the table, he feels her ankle hook with his.

Then comes prison, and none of them touch their drinks. Making a deal with the devil—or Hargrove, but really, what’s the difference?

Going to Valhalla, letting the Meta chase them around.

Donut’s grip on his hand could shatter bones as Wash finally reaches the part they’ve all known they were heading towards.

“I shot Lopez first,” Wash says, not able to meet anyone’s eyes. “Then… then I shot Donut.”

Blood staining the pink armor, the way he crumples forward. “Simmons? I think he…”

And Wash doesn’t care, doesn’t feel a goddamn thing.

Martha throws a glass—empty, into the living room, scowling. It shatters on the floor, and Wahs knows they’ll have to clean it up before they forget and someone treads on broken glass. But she says nothing.

“Keep going,” Jackie whispers, her voice hoarse.

Mitch tilts her chair backwards, and stares at the ceiling.

The story spins out. Kidnapping Doc, through the desert, to Sidewinder, to lying in the snow, dying, and waking up in different colored armor and a second chance.

“Idiots,” Martha laughs. “God, that was stupid.”

“It was,” Wash agrees, ducking his head. The old, familiar shame rises up in him, the knowledge that he hadn’t deserved it, but that it had been offered anyways, because that’s who they were.

“Thank fuck they did, though,” Martha says. Then she gets up and hugs him, too tight, but he can feel her shaking, and says nothing.

“That’s why Andi thought you were dead,” Mitch says. “You faked it.”

“Yes.”

Mitch’s gaze is assessing.

Martha’s forgiven him, he feels it. Jackie… Wash isn’t sure.

But Mitch hasn’t yet.

Wash is almost glad, because he doesn’t deserve it.

“Keep going,” she encourages.

Donut takes over again, talking about Doc coming back for him, of them building their own farm. Mitch practically melts as he describes it, smiling so wide Wash can almost pretend that this is normal, that the secret never spilled out to ruin everything.

Carolina is next. Martha listens intently, nodding whenever things sound familiar. Donut starts talking as their paths intersect again. Wash watches his sisters, looking to see how they’re taking it.

When Donut begins to enthusiastically describe the fight against the Tex clones, Jackie cracks.

“Who needs therapy when you’ve got them, huh?” She asks, laughing. Tears are pouring down her face. “You… god. They saved you.” She reaches over and grabs his hand. “They saved you,” she whispers again, taking off her glasses to wipe her eyes.

Donut grins at her.

Chorus. They know the most about Chorus, from the news, from Kimball, from Carolina, from the Reds and Blues.

“When did you realize?” Mitch asks.

Wash stares at his glass. It’s empty. The bottle is significantly lower than it had been at the beginning of the night.

“I was hitting a punching bag,” Wash says. “And Donut told me…”

“You really should wrap those before you do that,” Donut remembers, grinning. “Protection is very important!”

Their sisters groan in unison.

“And then I told Wash I had four siblings!” Donut grins.

“And then he told me he was from Iowa,” Wash nods. “And he talked about our home town and… and it sounded familiar. But I didn’t believe it. Because…”

“You had four sisters,” Mitch whispers. “Not a brother.”

“Right. I didn’t… I didn’t know for sure. Not until Epsilon told me.”

“And then Epsilon called Carolina,” Martha says. Wash starts. “You freaked out.”

“I’d… I’d shot him,” Wash mutters.

Mitch stares at him.

“You,” she says slowly, are an idiot, David Fillmore.”

Then she strides across the room and hugs him, just like she had when he’d come home for the first time.

“You realize,” Jackie says. “How much fucking angst you could have spared us all if you two had just come clean ages ago?”

Wash begins to laugh. He can’t help it. His younger sister is holding him in the air, he’s had too much to drink, and there’s a crashing sense of relief that fills him to his very core.

He’s been afraid of this for so long. Everything, laid bare, out in the open, exposed and vulnerable.  

But here he is, and his siblings are surrounding him, laughing too, laughing from exhaustion and relief and who knows what else, but Wash lets himself fall to the ground.

There’s been a knot in his chest that Wash has never quite learned to unpick for as long as he could remember.

But today, Wash thinks he feels it loosening slightly.

This is true:

There will be many more discussions like this one to come.

This is also true:

Wash might never completely forgive himself for shooting his little brother, but he comes close enough. And his siblings do.

This is a lie:

The end

#Agent Washington #Franklin Delano Donut #Donut Siblings #Steph Writes #Donut Siblings Anniversary Special #Red vs Blue