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generalsdiary · 10 days

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clouds leave no trace

High Cloud Quintet w/ mentions of the Trailblazer (gn!trailblazer pov)

warnings: spoilers if you haven’t done the Xianzhou Luofu main story

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this wasn’t planned, the words just came to me, hope yall like it, not beta read hcq means so much to me help

description: high cloud quintet romanticized (lore), a quick recap from Jing Yuan’s pov – basically poetic analysis of hcq history through Jing Yuan’s eyes (fluff, angst)

if you think Jing Yuan didn't love Blade think again. he is the youngest of the high cloud quintet, he grew up beside them- he loved them all. and they all adored him as well. to say he didn't care about Yingxing is ignorant. because he loved the arrogant short-life species swordsmith. he got older knowing he might outlive him, knowing he will watch him grow old, the way he'd cling onto him and use every moment to be beside him. in his home or Yingxing’s home he'd hold him in his arms, always giving him a back hug and chatting. as he would with Dan Feng, their fingers intertwining in a gentle intimate touch, he would hold him as well. the strict, stubborn high elder softening up once they all warmed up to each other. oh, the way Dan Feng would walk at a seemingly calm, fast pace to the young Jing Yuan's home for a moment, just a minute of peace, of tranquility. the high elder would draw his fingers through the long white hair, maybe even make a braid or two. he'd kiss Jing Yuan's temple and mumble how much comfort he gave him.

the three are so soft behind closed doors. and when the high cloud quintet would gather to drink and share stories, a rare occurrence, since they're usually on the battlefield, Baiheng and Jingliu would just smile; one's head on the other's shoulder at the sight of the arrogant craftsman, the stubborn high elder, and strategic cloud knight smiling at each other.

just like Jingliu would lean to kiss Baiheng's cheek after a warm story she'd share, chuckling in joy at hearing her speak in a happy tone.

the same way the older men would gravitate to Jing Yuan, furthermore the way Jing Yuan would cling onto both of them. overlapping as they share stories and drink their fill.

so when the time would come for all of it to fall apart when one died, the second met a fate worse than death, the third one was forced to reincarnate and the new one to be imprisoned, the fourth to lose her mind, what would be of the fifth one?

of the young boy in the beginning, and the man on that day. the general. who lost it all, his friends, his lovers, his everything. he cannot even allow himself to scream and cry and angrily throw a ceramic plate on the floor otherwise he'd get marastruck. yes, fully aware of what is left for him to do but suppress all emotions. fighting that Jingliu escapes somewhere safely, making sure Yingxing is banished and not captured, making sure the same fate meets the Imbibtor Lunae reborn- to also be banished and hopefully achieve what Jing Yuan knew his previous reincarnation oh-so wanted; freedom... and making sure that what happened to Baiheng stays secret and safe, making sure that her new reincarnation is alright- going from a Foxian to a Vidyadhara- he must've been so worried. he'd check up on her often, and ask about her dreams. the easy-going smile turning down for a second when she would say she doesn't have any dreams- the hope he'd feel when she'd tell him that after visiting the Astral Express once; she dreamt of being a Foxian pilot. he'd nod with that sweet smile and turn to leave. he says he never grew close with his master, Jingliu… because it is easier to say that than admit to the reality and the pain of losing someone he cared for so much.

after the banishment and when the dust settled, long before the nameless arrived… he sits under a ginkgo tree and decides to meditate. the weight of all that history and not one of the remaining ones remembers it for what it was except for him. so he meditates, clearing his head, and calming his own memories.

so when he meets Yingxing- with his youthful appearance- where Jing Yuan remembers him with gray-white hair and lilac eyes, he is met with dirty orange-red ones and dark hair, his voice rough and raspy in comparison to what the general remembers. the sting in his heart when he sees Yingxing’s hands shake, he knows how much the fact he cannot craft anymore must hurt him. Yanqing urges the general to make the arrest, yet he lets the fugitives go. not batting an eye, there's no more love on either side, no warm emotion that used to be there. but love isn't an emotion, it is a promise. a promise to be there when it is needed. and the promise is loud when he lets... Blade and Kafka leave. there's a longing in his chest for the strong embrace of his lover when Blade turns his back to leave, and he pushes those thoughts back.

so when the trailblazer meets him and he looks so warm, the sun-bathed kind general- they can see it on him, that warmth like he was loved and that he also loved. that he was held and he also held. he'd appear so soft, cuddly, endearing.. just an aura, a mere bright shadow of what he was. just an appearance, like a shell that used to be there. ash still shining some light, unlike the warm fire that burned with love.

he is the general of the Xianzhou Luofu and that is his number one priority. he uses this leftover love which rubbed up on him as a crafty mask, a decoy for enemies of the Seat of Divine Foresight.

unprepared he walks to see the Imbibitor Lunae. in his original form. his tongue faster than his mind as he calls him Dan Feng. the small smile colored with pain when he hears the words, "I'm not him", and the grief-filled nod he offers in return. still, he uses it all to the advantage of the Luofu.

he isn't grief struck, nor mara struck, he has immense control over his emotions, but when put right in front of the man his fingers just ich to hold his hand, well of course he slips up for a second, and no longer than that. he cannot allow himself, he does not allow himself. he is never weak.

so when... Dan Heng and... Bailu walk around Luofu and go to a sacred location finding themselves in an ambush, of course, he doesn't call reinforcements- that by itself could cause more trouble. he, still injured from his fight with Phantylia, comes to aid them and fight beside them.

and of course, he hangs his head low, his bangs covering both of his eyes when a reunion after seven centuries, if one could even call it that, happens. Blade insists that Jingliu fights him. clashes of swords fill his ears, Dan Heng's shallow breathing beside him as the two of them fight until Jingliu wins. he shuts his eyes tight when Blade falls down, his body making the stone ground crack from the hit, holding his own breath to hear when Blade’s lungs rise again in his immortal body. exhaling when the man inhales. one might say Dan Heng is newly reborn and has no memories of this. yet he dreams, and like all of his species, he regains those memories through his dreams even when he tries to ignore them. he knows, he remembers… he still wears the bracers he exchanged with Yingxing. Jing Yuan regrets he cannot stop them from fighting each other, his voice shaking at the end of the gathering.

it is obvious a side of him wishes it all to go back to how it was, yet those people he knew don't exist anymore. Dan Feng was killed by Jing Yuan's tongue, Jingliu’s gone by his own spear, he watched Yingxing turn into a mindless killer and Baiheng become an Abomination. and he could do nothing about it, as they all fell apart around him like ash floating in the air after the fire had been put out. they burned so bright.

the poor general. and Blade continues to travel with the Stellaron hunters, Dan Heng hides his form and travels with the Astral Express, Jingliu goes to a prison cell – even in the end he made an effort to divert her plans of which prison to go to, Bailu keeps working as a doctor and he still comes over occasionally to check up on her, hoping she remains well in this lifetime. his past friends (and lovers) are all, as he puts it, scattered to the wind.

all the history, the memories, the hugs he won't ever get again, the soft touches, warm beds, the kind words- the harsh words, the training, the glasses of alcohol, the soft lips on his... all lost, forgotten. and with his meditation- even he remembers only fragments- perhaps only the happy ones, maybe, if they don't hurt too much as Mimi's do.

so when the trailblazer walks into the Seat of Divine Foresight they see the general of the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights, one of the Six Charioteers of the Xianzhou Luofu, the Divine Foresight, the strong, incredibly smart, strategic genius and powerful Jing Yuan, and also the dozing general, they see exactly who Jing Yuan chooses himself to present as. leader of the Luofu, mentor of Yanqing, older than any general so far, in an era of peace he fought to happen. the trailblazer doesn't see the past, and what he has been through to stand there and greet them with a smile. he shines like the sun because he burns like one. never-ending, bright, warm, golden. they won't see him crack, because he won't crack. he is incredibly strong mentally and keeps his emotions in check.

with the lazy smile that everyone knows too well and the deep-toned voice he'd greet,

"ah trailblazer, I've caught some free time, would you care for a round of starchess?"

a/n: amnesic meditation is a thing on the luofu where you forget certain memories* that is what I was referring to when JY meditated- it is canon he did that to forget Mimi btw. also the “love is a promise” yes is a reference to an episode of DW whr the Doctor says that line, I loved it had to include it

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