#baiheng angst

[generalsdiary]

clouds leave no trace

High Cloud Quintet w/ mentions of the Trailblazer (gn!trailblazer pov)

warnings: spoilers if you haven’t done the Xianzhou Luofu main story

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this wasn’t planned, the words just came to me, hope yall like it, not beta read hcq means so much to me help

description: high cloud quintet romanticized (lore), a quick recap from Jing Yuan’s pov – basically poetic analysis of hcq history through Jing Yuan’s eyes (fluff, angst)

if you think Jing Yuan didn't love Blade think again. he is the youngest of the high cloud quintet, he grew up beside them- he loved them all. and they all adored him as well. to say he didn't care about Yingxing is ignorant. because he loved the arrogant short-life species swordsmith. he got older knowing he might outlive him, knowing he will watch him grow old, the way he'd cling onto him and use every moment to be beside him. in his home or Yingxing’s home he'd hold him in his arms, always giving him a back hug and chatting. as he would with Dan Feng, their fingers intertwining in a gentle intimate touch, he would hold him as well. the strict, stubborn high elder softening up once they all warmed up to each other. oh, the way Dan Feng would walk at a seemingly calm, fast pace to the young Jing Yuan's home for a moment, just a minute of peace, of tranquility. the high elder would draw his fingers through the long white hair, maybe even make a braid or two. he'd kiss Jing Yuan's temple and mumble how much comfort he gave him.

the three are so soft behind closed doors. and when the high cloud quintet would gather to drink and share stories, a rare occurrence, since they're usually on the battlefield, Baiheng and Jingliu would just smile; one's head on the other's shoulder at the sight of the arrogant craftsman, the stubborn high elder, and strategic cloud knight smiling at each other.

just like Jingliu would lean to kiss Baiheng's cheek after a warm story she'd share, chuckling in joy at hearing her speak in a happy tone.

the same way the older men would gravitate to Jing Yuan, furthermore the way Jing Yuan would cling onto both of them. overlapping as they share stories and drink their fill.

so when the time would come for all of it to fall apart when one died, the second met a fate worse than death, the third one was forced to reincarnate and the new one to be imprisoned, the fourth to lose her mind, what would be of the fifth one?

of the young boy in the beginning, and the man on that day. the general. who lost it all, his friends, his lovers, his everything. he cannot even allow himself to scream and cry and angrily throw a ceramic plate on the floor otherwise he'd get marastruck. yes, fully aware of what is left for him to do but suppress all emotions. fighting that Jingliu escapes somewhere safely, making sure Yingxing is banished and not captured, making sure the same fate meets the Imbibtor Lunae reborn- to also be banished and hopefully achieve what Jing Yuan knew his previous reincarnation oh-so wanted; freedom... and making sure that what happened to Baiheng stays secret and safe, making sure that her new reincarnation is alright- going from a Foxian to a Vidyadhara- he must've been so worried. he'd check up on her often, and ask about her dreams. the easy-going smile turning down for a second when she would say she doesn't have any dreams- the hope he'd feel when she'd tell him that after visiting the Astral Express once; she dreamt of being a Foxian pilot. he'd nod with that sweet smile and turn to leave. he says he never grew close with his master, Jingliu… because it is easier to say that than admit to the reality and the pain of losing someone he cared for so much.

after the banishment and when the dust settled, long before the nameless arrived… he sits under a ginkgo tree and decides to meditate. the weight of all that history and not one of the remaining ones remembers it for what it was except for him. so he meditates, clearing his head, and calming his own memories.

so when he meets Yingxing- with his youthful appearance- where Jing Yuan remembers him with gray-white hair and lilac eyes, he is met with dirty orange-red ones and dark hair, his voice rough and raspy in comparison to what the general remembers. the sting in his heart when he sees Yingxing’s hands shake, he knows how much the fact he cannot craft anymore must hurt him. Yanqing urges the general to make the arrest, yet he lets the fugitives go. not batting an eye, there's no more love on either side, no warm emotion that used to be there. but love isn't an emotion, it is a promise. a promise to be there when it is needed. and the promise is loud when he lets... Blade and Kafka leave. there's a longing in his chest for the strong embrace of his lover when Blade turns his back to leave, and he pushes those thoughts back.

so when the trailblazer meets him and he looks so warm, the sun-bathed kind general- they can see it on him, that warmth like he was loved and that he also loved. that he was held and he also held. he'd appear so soft, cuddly, endearing.. just an aura, a mere bright shadow of what he was. just an appearance, like a shell that used to be there. ash still shining some light, unlike the warm fire that burned with love.

he is the general of the Xianzhou Luofu and that is his number one priority. he uses this leftover love which rubbed up on him as a crafty mask, a decoy for enemies of the Seat of Divine Foresight.

unprepared he walks to see the Imbibitor Lunae. in his original form. his tongue faster than his mind as he calls him Dan Feng. the small smile colored with pain when he hears the words, "I'm not him", and the grief-filled nod he offers in return. still, he uses it all to the advantage of the Luofu.

he isn't grief struck, nor mara struck, he has immense control over his emotions, but when put right in front of the man his fingers just ich to hold his hand, well of course he slips up for a second, and no longer than that. he cannot allow himself, he does not allow himself. he is never weak.

so when... Dan Heng and... Bailu walk around Luofu and go to a sacred location finding themselves in an ambush, of course, he doesn't call reinforcements- that by itself could cause more trouble. he, still injured from his fight with Phantylia, comes to aid them and fight beside them.

and of course, he hangs his head low, his bangs covering both of his eyes when a reunion after seven centuries, if one could even call it that, happens. Blade insists that Jingliu fights him. clashes of swords fill his ears, Dan Heng's shallow breathing beside him as the two of them fight until Jingliu wins. he shuts his eyes tight when Blade falls down, his body making the stone ground crack from the hit, holding his own breath to hear when Blade’s lungs rise again in his immortal body. exhaling when the man inhales. one might say Dan Heng is newly reborn and has no memories of this. yet he dreams, and like all of his species, he regains those memories through his dreams even when he tries to ignore them. he knows, he remembers… he still wears the bracers he exchanged with Yingxing. Jing Yuan regrets he cannot stop them from fighting each other, his voice shaking at the end of the gathering.

it is obvious a side of him wishes it all to go back to how it was, yet those people he knew don't exist anymore. Dan Feng was killed by Jing Yuan's tongue, Jingliu’s gone by his own spear, he watched Yingxing turn into a mindless killer and Baiheng become an Abomination. and he could do nothing about it, as they all fell apart around him like ash floating in the air after the fire had been put out. they burned so bright.

the poor general. and Blade continues to travel with the Stellaron hunters, Dan Heng hides his form and travels with the Astral Express, Jingliu goes to a prison cell – even in the end he made an effort to divert her plans of which prison to go to, Bailu keeps working as a doctor and he still comes over occasionally to check up on her, hoping she remains well in this lifetime. his past friends (and lovers) are all, as he puts it, scattered to the wind.

all the history, the memories, the hugs he won't ever get again, the soft touches, warm beds, the kind words- the harsh words, the training, the glasses of alcohol, the soft lips on his... all lost, forgotten. and with his meditation- even he remembers only fragments- perhaps only the happy ones, maybe, if they don't hurt too much as Mimi's do.

so when the trailblazer walks into the Seat of Divine Foresight they see the general of the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights, one of the Six Charioteers of the Xianzhou Luofu, the Divine Foresight, the strong, incredibly smart, strategic genius and powerful Jing Yuan, and also the dozing general, they see exactly who Jing Yuan chooses himself to present as. leader of the Luofu, mentor of Yanqing, older than any general so far, in an era of peace he fought to happen. the trailblazer doesn't see the past, and what he has been through to stand there and greet them with a smile. he shines like the sun because he burns like one. never-ending, bright, warm, golden. they won't see him crack, because he won't crack. he is incredibly strong mentally and keeps his emotions in check.

with the lazy smile that everyone knows too well and the deep-toned voice he'd greet,

"ah trailblazer, I've caught some free time, would you care for a round of starchess?"

a/n: amnesic meditation is a thing on the luofu where you forget certain memories* that is what I was referring to when JY meditated- it is canon he did that to forget Mimi btw. also the “love is a promise” yes is a reference to an episode of DW whr the Doctor says that line, I loved it had to include it

#aaaaaaaaaaa #hcq brainrot #hcq #high cloud quintet lore #high cloud quintet analysis #jing yuan fluff #jing yuan angst #blade fluff #blade angst #jingliu fluff #jingliu angst #baiheng fluff #baiheng angst #trailblazer #honkai star rail #hsr #dan heng #dan heng fluff #dan heng angst #dan feng fluff #bailu #hsr writing #hsr fanfic #imbibitor lunae fluff #imbibitor lunae angst #hcq analysis #jing yuan analysis #yingxing fluff #yingxing angst #renheng

[k9wa]

𑣲 RENEWAL. ft. DAN (F)HENG

⠀ — it is not he that is familiar to you, nor you to him.

⠀ OR

⠀ — time and reincarnation aren’t enough to ever make you truly forget each other.

⚠︎ angst if you squint, fluff, mild hsr spoilers? thank u to the high cloud quintet for having the most heart breaking lore, i listened to memory by toby fox on repeat while writing this.

dan heng wasn’t sure what to feel when his eyes met yours.

familiarity? no, that’s not possible. he’s never met you.

nostalgia? no, that too was not possible. he cannot name one person who your eyes could possibly remind him of.

…what was it? what was it that had left dan heng unable to will his gaze to move somewhere else? surely the intense eye contact was leaving you uncomfortable, even he was beginning to feel squirmy in his own skin as you stared back at him with an equal intensity.

dan heng can feel something in the deepest pit of his mind, leaking down and adding to the tense knot in his gut. 

yet, the feeling isn’t…unwelcome.

it’s warm. it’s akin to a comforting hand on his shoulder, or a small squeeze to his fingers. he could not, no matter how hard he tried, recall a time such a sensation had left him so utterly speechless. 

“dan heng?”

it’s welt’s voice that finally pulled him out of his trance, his eyes blinking rapidly a few times before he turned his head to look at the older man.

“sorry. what was that?”

dan heng shook his head as if to rid himself of the thoughts of you. what was your name again? yukong had just informed him. not that he was really listening, anyway.

the conversation between his crew and the sky-faring commissions helm master continued on, talk of stellarons and something about the cloud knight’s general. dan heng couldn’t seem to focus despite his efforts.

another voice calls out to him just before he can depart alongside caelus and march, however this time it is not the deep and rough voice of his companion, but one that is much sweeter, and seems to strike a chord somewhere within him.

“dan heng?”

he turns around and is once more met with your eyes. dan heng willed himself to blink and nod before he could be entranced by them once more.

“i apologize, but…”

you trailed off before you were able to get the words out of your mouth, and there you found yourself back in the odd silence the two of you had just broken out of.

“…have we met before?”

you asked, and it finally clicked with dan heng where he had seen only snippets and flashes of you before.

my dreams, he thought. the dreams that haunted him night in and night out, but would occasionally grant him just a glance of a peaceful memory.

“no. we haven’t.”

you’re an amicassador of the sky-fairing commission, one brought on board long after he was banned from the ship that you called home. your meeting at any point before now would have been impossible.

yet, his mind drifts to the occasional memory he has only when deep in slumber.

“yingxing gifted me this.”

he looks down at you, head in his lap as you pull a small jade coin out of your pocket, a fine “永” carefully carved into the surface.

“he has too much time on his hands now that jing yuan is growing.”

your chuckle is soothing to his ears, the sound like a balm applied directly to his soul.

your face is unclear, almost as if his eyes are unfocused. yet your voice is unmistakable.

“i don’t disagree.”

is all he responds, fingers idly pushing a few stray hairs behind your ear as he looks down at you. although he can’t see it, he can feel the grass he and you reside on, smell the pollen off the fresh flowers the breeze blows towards him, can feel the sun on his skin.

“you’re sure?” you question again, voice just as calming as he was sure he’d imagined until now.

“you just—“ you chuckle a bit, almost awkwardly. “—seem so familiar, is all.”

you try to approach the topic subtly, but you truly did know him. from your own dreams, the ones you had that woke you in a cold sweat from just how real and jarring they felt, regardless of whether they were mild or sweet in nature. they conjured such emotion in you.

“baiheng was telling me of reincarnation.”

you muse to him, sitting with one hand on the ground just over his crossed legs, leaving you leaning across him.

“do you believe in such a thing?”

“of course.”

he nods, hand naturally finding it’s place on your waist.

“don’t you?”

“i don’t think so.”

you reach your free hand out to play mindlessly with the silver trim of his robes.

“it’s a nice thought, though.”

dan feng can only hum quietly.

“some day,” he began, drawing your attention back up to his face. “after i reach my end, i’ll come back to find you.”

the small tug of his lips could only be described as a smirk, but it felt softer than that.

“to prove it to you.”

you tilt your head teasingly, brow cocked.

“how will you recognize me?” “I would know you blind.”

he can feel his chest warm as you smile at him.

“i’ll hold you to that.”

“sorry.” dan heng bowed his head lightly. 

“but we haven’t met before.”

he was being truthful, you hadn’t. it was your past lives that you two had been acquainted, had formed a bond so strong that it appeared to have transcended death itself.

dan heng did not wish to have dan feng’s deeds or past haunt him any more than they already do. the urge he felt to sit and talk with you, to perhaps hold your hand or touch your face would surely only lead him down a path he’d apparently gone down centuries ago.

“right.”

you nod at him, bowing yourself.

“sorry to keep you, it was nice to meet you.”

dan heng was released and regrouped with his crew, march and caelus bickering about something or the other and walking ahead of him. he decided to stay a bit further behind with welt.

his decision quickly regretted when welt gave him a knowing look, the lines on the older man’s forehead deepening as his eyebrows pushed together.

“you know them.”

“i know who they used to be. that’s all.”

welt can read the room well enough to know to end the topic there. dan heng had never enjoyed or been keen on talking of dan feng, and being back on the xianzhou alone had already left him with an unusual tension in his shoulders.

even as he walked away, moving up to engage in conversation with the sillier two of the quadrant, dan heng couldn’t shake you from his head. your smile, the way you held yourself as yukong introduced you, the small laugh that he had not expected would weave itself so deeply in his chest.

he kept walking on anyway. dan heng was not him.

⠀ 𑣲 MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?

#dan feng my one true love #dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #dan feng #dan feng x reader #dan feng x you #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng hsr #dan heng angst #dan heng fluff #hsr #jing yuan #jingliu #baiheng #yingxing #blade hsr #high cloud quintet #dan heng x gender neutral reader #UNEARTHLY

[topaz-witch-tea]

hiii, it's me again, thanks for spoiling us with your HC & AU as always 💖 💗

Anyway, I was curious, do you have any HC of what if Happy Family!AU meets with semi-cannon verse of RenJingHeng (that's still trying to bond with Yanqing despite their ✨Issues✨)?

I imagine it would be double the chaos since now they have TWO reckless, self-sacrificial, and insecure teen to watch over. That, and I want the HCQ to react to a what-if versions of themselves lolz. This could either go very well, or they just straight up start criticizing e/o method of parenting, and I can't make up my mind of which is better.

Hello!!! You're welcome, I enjoy writing these headcanons. 🥰

I do have HCs for this!!! I constantly compare the semi-cannon with the AU so I can differentiate their personalities and parenting styles.

I'll group them by character to make it easier.

Dan Feng- Dan Heng

They do not get along and Dan Feng started it. Dan Feng is very protective and doting to Yanqing.

He worries for Yanqing's wellbeing constantly and in his eyes, Dan Heng is neglectful and both Yanqing's should come home with him. Dan Heng's aloofness and his difficulties in connecting make Yanqing feel unsure of where he fits in RenJingHeng's new relationship.

To Dan Heng, Dan Feng's displays of affection contrast with his responsibility to the Vidyadhara, which leads Yanqing to make himself small so he doesn't stress out his father.

"How can you be okay with him going off like that? Getting possessed, sneaking off? He's practically skin and bones! Not to mention, you almost killed him. What kind of father are you?"

"You're one to talk to. Your son is so worried about disappointing you that he puts himself in harm's way constantly to prove himself!"

"Your's does the same!"

This ends with both of them crying and being very upset. Dan Feng has always struggled with emotions and can only communicate through words and acts of affection. Dan Heng is unsure how to communicate and care for Yanqing since he was never allowed to be a child and has no idea how to fit himself into the family dynamics.

Yingxing- Ren

They also do not get along and Ren is responsible for it.

Yingxing is very affectionate to Yanqing despite his strictness. Ren is not affectionate at all and approaches the relationship with a bit of teasing but also a constant state of "you are a child but are nothing like Silver Wolf, so I don't know how to communicate with you."

Yingxing sort of pities Ren since he sees Ren's marastruck fate as what could have happened to him if the Blessings of the Arbor went awry.

But this does not stop either of them from disliking each other. Unlike Dan Heng and Dan Feng, they do not engage with each other at all and instead actively ignore each other.

To Yingxing, Ren is confused and doesn't know how to interact with other people. However, his confusion creates more confusion for Yanqing, who believes that he is being pushed out of the family because of Canon! Jing Yuan is spending more time to incorporate Ren into his life.

To Ren though, Yingxing is a hypocrite. While Ren doesn't know how to interact with Yanqing, Yingxing is the same with his child. He doesn't understand why his child is sacrificial and reckless as if they weren't the traits he saw valued by his parents- their sacrificial and reckless actions in service to the Luofu.

AU! Jing Yuan - Canon! Jing Yuan

They get along pretty well since they are both very mellow people and their nature allows them to understand the other. Their time is spent comparing their respective sons. Hobbies? Favorite foods? Even habits as babies?

Some are similar like sword collecting but others are very different like AU! Yanqing prefers Vidyadhara seafood cuisine and spicy food over Canon! Yanqing prefers savory food from the Luofu and sweet treats like pudding and boba.

They also talk about their worries for their son. About how AU! Yanqing keeps throwing himself in danger to save his comrades even though his death would break his family's heart or how Canon! Yanqing keeps searching for stronger and stronger opponents in a relentless need to improve.

Jingliu

They don't talk at all. I don't see either of them seeing any merit in talking with each other. Instead, they communicate with their blades. To them, crossing blades with an opponent tells them what they need to know. The fight takes 30 minutes and by the end of it, both parties take their leave and stay silent for the rest of the day. If you asked the others, they could not tell you a single thing said during the fight. However, to the sword masters, they knew all they needed to know.

Baiheng

Well, she sort of dead in the canon so there isn't anything she can react to. She is, however, very sad that she passed and left Jing Yuan alone. even if her death was for a good cause.

AU! Yanqing- Canon! Yanqing

They talk about swords. That is honestly it. Their parents are fighting each other so they thought it would be best to avoid additional confrontation. They have also repressed a lot of their childhood insecurities so both of them are not exactly aware of the fact their behaviors are not the healthiest.

AU! Yanqing throws himself in the line of fire because he's seen his parents do it. He wants to protect the Luofu because his fathers spent so much time governing it and ensuring its peace and prosperity. But also, deep down, he wants to show that he is worthy of being their son.

Canon! Yanqing masters the sword not for glory, but to ease the general's burden. They do not call each other father and son even though both parties see each other that way. However, since things are never said, Yanqing believes Jing Yuan sees him as merely an apprentice rather than family. So now that Jing Yuan is bringing Dan Heng and Ren into his life, Yanqing is waiting for when he'll be served the eviction notice.

This was a really fun ask and I hope you enjoyed it!!! Please feel free to send more!

#yanqing #honkai star rail #jing yuan #yanqing’s happy family au #yingxing #dan feng #yanqing's happy family au asks #hsr #jingrenheng #baiheng #jingliu #hsr ren #blade hsr #dan heng #honkai dan heng #jing yuan x blade x dan heng #renjingheng #I did not mean for this to be angst #It was an accident #Poor Yanqing #It doesn't matter in which life he lives #his desire to help his dad will always put him in harms way

[paperglader]

So… I did jingliu’s companion mission…

you’re telling me that the only thing that’s been keeping this woman alive is hatred and a promise she made to someone she loved like eons ago… and that the reincarnation of that same woman who she made the promise to told her that she could cure her mental turmoil if only she let herself rid of the torments of the past, and jingliu was like “nope, my pain is the only thing that’s keeping the memory of my loved one alive, so I shall bare it till the stars go dark” TO HER FACE. And then proceded to tell her that even though she couldn’t physically do anything to aid her illness, just by being near her once again, she healed more than any medicine could’ve ever done.

So, she’s doomed by immortality to live her life infinitely with the grief of the loss of the one she loved + the loss of her own sanity, and the guilt of the deeds made whilst she wasn’t lucid in her own body. Believing herself a sinner and a criminal, with no memories of the good times, all stolen by her own mind- with only hatred left towards the people that she once called her friends. A revenge that could never be fulfilled by her own blade. So, she seeks for one last final respite before being locked away at last, to serve her due. She tries one final time to draw blood, to diminish, to sever- to grant a favor, to end a life. And throughout that last display of violence she gets, once again, to see a flash of the face that she had missed so dearly, of a soul she once loved that until then had been stored amongst forgotten phantoms of what once was. In the end neither of them get what they sought. Either way, they are doomed to keep trying still, for eternity. To hate each other. To mourn. To hate themselves, to punish themselves, to punish each other. To kill. To die. To be reborn, yet again, with the same weight on their shoulders and a feeble mind that’s just on the verge of collapse. Sick and tired. Forever.

#when I thought I couldn’t be more obsessed #this woman just shows up and throws even more angst into my face #blade was such a surprise as well and I love it I love the guilt and the anger #and the utter bloodthirst to make something that went so wrong right again #there’s just something about characters being crushed and corrupted by immortality and how they serve as a reminder that minds like ours ar #not meant to last forever #and so useful to portray how the passage of time can heal many wounds and also rot and fester others #I love that the high cloud quintet is made of a dead woman a trio that refuses to go to therapy and jing yuan who is just there #jingliu #high cloud quintet #honkai #honkai star rail #baiheng #hsr blade #jingliu x baiheng #hsr bailu #hsr jingliu #hsr #hsr spoilers #the fact that a los the 50/50 on her banner truly is so rude #never getting over it

[artheresy]

Don't you just love the psychological whiplash of a blog that starts off unserious, with posts of headcanons that are fluffy and silly and often clearly meant to be crack?

And then they make a post that makes it clear that OP has decided to hop on the angst train and run you over like the Astral Express??? (*side-eyes a few blogs I've been lurking around recently*)

Btw I love your posts about the Zhuming family of three (feat. bby Yingxing) pls feed us more~ <3

It’s a character arc in its own right honestly XD! Many apologies to anyone who’s had to watch me spill put all of my Blade and Yingxing angst recently, I will not be able to get better I think it’s slowly getting worse ❤️

The fics I have planned won’t make it better but hey! At least they’ll have happy Zhuming family and HCQ moments too :D

And I’m so glad you love those posts, they’re some of my favorite to make and I have a few stored in my drafts including some wips for designs for Huaiyan and Ardens Regia 👀 I will definitely feed y’all soon!

#jaxie’s askies #anon #anon pls know ily #and im really so glad you like my silly little headcanons about that family dynamic #they will be a silly little family no amount of angst cooking in my brain can weather their family dynamic!!! #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #yingxing #huaiyan #baiheng #ardens regia

[jar-of-maise]

GUYS NEW HIGH-CLOUD QUINTET LORE IS ABOUT TO DROP ON OUR HEADS IN 1.4 HSR ARE YOU READY

#honkai star rail #jingliu #blade #yingxing #dan heng #dan feng #baiheng #jing yuan #omg i can't the angst #brb running to go write my fic

[kikioffe-prime]

No comfort angst idea

So Yingxing/Blade is an orphan. His parents and his whole family was killed by the Borisin and turned into the foodfor their Mecha beasts.

And we also know Baiheng pretty much adopted the guy when he Just got onto the Zhumming ship.

Okey what if Baiheng AND Jingliu were his adoptive moms. I can imagine that be kinda cool for the little Just orphaned boy.

....Now comes the pain

Imagine having to be the one the child you swore to protect with your lover is the one you hurt the most and who is now so terryfied of you that you JUST unsetheeing your weapon couses him greast pain , psychologial andc physical

You are the one he fears the most. You are the one he is unable to stay around 100 meters. Youa re the one he cannot look at. YOU are the one that most likely brings him nigh terrors keeping him up at night.

YOU are the one that is considered a threat to him.

And it was all because of your despair form the loss of your dearest cousing you to become mara-struck and loose your mind. All because of Yaoshi. You swear to kill the eon, yet the damage had been already done.

(Idea inspired by the tiktok sound "Your mama's crying")

#honkai star rail #hsr #honaki star rail #star rail #blade hsr #high cloud quintet #jingliu #yingxing #baiheng #xianzhou luofu #brainrot #kikioffe ideas #hurt no comfort #angst

[kafkaesthes]

just finished jingliu’s story quest dhmu im emo rn

#high cloud quintet #need i say more? #they ruin me #oh the angst #OH THE PAIN #honkai: star rail #blade hsr #honkai star rail #hsr #dan heng #jingyuan #jingliu #baiheng

[heaven-s-black-box]

Constellations- High Cloud Quintet

Return to Station - HSR File

Recovery date: October 21st, 2023

Description: Jing Yuan considers what time is to him.

Notes: Now playing Constellations by The Oh Hellos

Word count: 305

Back to directory

For a long life species like the natives of the Xianzhou, the stars don’t really seem that far. At least in Jing Yuan’s opinion. Even without their technology allowing them to travel extended distances in a few hours, what was a few hundred years between solar systems to him? What did time really mean to him?

To Yingxing it was a challenge. Could he surpass the Luofu artisans in his lifetime? To Baiheng it was a passing concern left to the future. It didn’t concern her, ironically she would run out of it before Yingxing. To Dan Feng it was an inevitability. His time would come eventually, it was almost laughable that he would turn it into a curse on his future incarnation. To Jing Liu it was something she wanted just a moment more of. One last drink with friends. It was ironic that Blade wanted less.

So what was it to him?

His name would be inscribed in the annals of the Luofu, both as a member of the High Cloud Quintet and as a General. He’d met Yingxing’s challenge. It was an inevitability that someday he would become mara-struck, but for now that was nothing but a passing concern. Perhaps his view of time aligned with his former master’s. Perhaps he wanted just a moment more.

He could babble on until his voice was gone, but the words would fall flat. In the end, all that would remain was the inscriptions lined with cedar as everything he thought he knew, about his friends and his very resistance, fell apart. The shapes they drew through their adventures would surely change, but he would cling to them. Cling to the shapes. Cling to the faces. Cling to the good intentions they’d had as they climbed to the heavens, like constellations imploding in the night.

#HBB radio #honkai star rail #honkai star rail jing yuan #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan #honkai star rail jingliu #hsr jingliu #jingliu #honkai star rail imbibitor lunae #hsr imbibitor lunae #imbibitor lunae #honkai star rail blade #hsr blade #honkai star rail baiheng #hsr baiheng #baiheng #high cloud quintet #oneshot #hsr oneshot #angst

[hami-gua]

永别了，亲爱的 Farewell, My Beloved

Long overdue since Qingming has long since pass (oops).

Blade x gn! Reader

Takes place in game — not canon though

Warning: Chinese is used (English translation provided), angst hurt no comfort (first time writing this angsty)

Please read to the end for credits and reference.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━

Shoes echoes through the barren halls. The figure moves through the doorway, his steps slow. And then he stops. Right in front of the wall of name plaques. His red eyes scanned the whole wall, searching for a particular name and walking to it right as he spots it. He carefully pulls out a clean cloth — and with care, wiped down the plaque. It didn’t need to be cleaned, as workers everyday made sure all plaques are cleaned out of respect. Once he was done, he placed the bouquet of white chrysanthemums in front of it then sits down.

The figure couldn’t help but think of their death. Of the three that had to pay a price, he alone had to pay the biggest. He made a promise to them and he broke it. The what ifs began to speed through his head. He’s died once, and he wants to die again. He wishes he can be with them in the afterlife. That is, if Mengpo doesn’t make him drink her soup. Not that he could see them anyway. Not after what he’s done.

He places two cups and pulls out a jar of wine. After filling both cups, he took his and raised it — drinking it all after.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing he said to them, “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess.”

He wants to apologize but no matter what he says, he knows no explanation could cut it. It was his error in action. In emotion. There was no way words can express his regrets.

“我与你的记忆损乱了，“ a tear slips from his eye, “你长得什么样，我也记不了了。我也记不住你的声音了。我只能记得你的名字，但也记不了多久了。“ [Memories of me and you have been messed up… The way that you looked, I cannot remember. I also cannot remember your voice. I only remember your name, but I cannot remember that for long either.]

The figure sat in silence for a bit before starting once more, “当年，如果不是我，也不是丹枫的话，你今日该会是什么样了？你还会像以前一样跟景元玩象棋吗？跟丹枫看书？跟镜流和白珩逛街？或者跟我练功？” he drank another cup full of wine, “可惜，三个付出代价去了，一个早已离去，最后一个孤独的留在了罗浮。不知你和白珩有没有相遇。我想是。我们当时挣扎了好久，现在平安多了。你若在的话，肯定会喜欢现在罗浮的环境。“ [That year, if it wasn’t for me, and Dan Feng, what would you have been like today? Would it be like it was then, with you playing xiangqi with Jing Yuan? Reading with Dan Heng? Shopping with Jing Liu and Baiheng? Or would you have been sparring with me? …. Sadly, three paid a price, one has departed, and the last one is left lonely on Luofu. I don’t know if you and Baiheng have caught up. I’d like to think you guys did. Our time was so messy, but Luofu today is much peaceful. If you were here, you’d definitely like Luofu today.]

Amidst his rambling, another figure approached. She stood right behind him, gazing up on the plaque.

“It’s time you wrap it up, Bladie.”

Blade hummed in acknowledgment, “Just a little more time.”

The lady stared at him a bit longer before sighing and heading out, saying she’ll be waiting for him at the entrance. After he was sure he was alone again, he spoke softly.

“是时候该走了。如果我没有捅你一刀，你今天应该还会在吧。对不起，这是我最后一次能看你了。仙舟没有我的地方了。在这个人生里，可能再也不会有人像你一样叫我的名字了。我永远也不可能是应星了。” [It’s time I should get going. If I didn’t stab you that day, you would probably still be here. I’m sorry, this is my last time seeing you. There’s no longer a place for me on Xianzhou. In this life, there will be no one to say my name the way you do. And I will never be able to be Yingxing anymore.]

Blade gets up and places the jar of wine next to the filled cup. After, he bows to the name plaque three times. Then, he turns and walks out of the room — leaving Luofu till his death arrives.

永别了。。。[Farewell…]

亲爱的。[My beloved.]

─── ∙ ↤THE END↦ ∙ ─---

I've been thinking, should I make banners specifically for the characters I write? Or would that be too much? Cuz right now, I can't decide on a banner for each story.

Qingming 清明: Called Tomb-Sweeping day in the west. People visit the graves of their deceased love ones. Even going as far as cleaning and retouching graves. It’s customary to offer food and wine (or other beverages they loved).

White Chrysanthemums: White flowers, mainly white chrysanthemums are placed during funeral and the dead. Don’t gift these to people please (unless you desperately wish for that person to perish).

Mengpo 孟婆: A deity in the underworld that gives passing souls her specialty called 孟婆汤 (mengpo soup) that would wipe their memories for their journey in their next life.

Bowing three times: I was taught this at a young age, but when bowing to gods and ancestors, you bow three times. Usually it’s very quick, but I like to take it slow (cuz I think it shows deeper respect).

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader #yingxing x reader #hsr yingxing #hsr blade x you #hsr blade x reader #hsr blade #hsr angst #blade angst #honkai star rail blade #honkai star rail angst #blade x you

[crguang]

a lover’s goodbye kiss

Are we ever truly done with grief?

angst, hurt/comfort, gn!reader, ptsd. 6k words of mourning and bitter reunions

A/N: this really got away from me, i also cried while writing it so do with that what you will. not entirely satisfied with it, but it’s okay. hope someone enjoys it regardless

Grief is a part of you. It seeps into your pores, settles in your bloodstream like cancerous chemicals and forces you to live with it, to endure the brunt of it lest memories pull you under permanently. For long-life species, grief is ironically common. The belief that Xianzhou natives are unaccustomed to death is a false one; though it is slow to come, it envelops them regardless, often twice over. The Mara curse is first. Its inevitability leaves an imprint in people’s hearts, a sort of impression they are born with and cannot outgrow. To be a long-life species is to become Mara-struck, a shell of your former self driven by bloodlust and fragmented memories. That, in itself, is death. Your body is no longer your own and neither is your mind, you are a senseless abomination destined to roam the world until someone or something delivers the fatal, long-awaited blow needed to end your misery. Though this heavy subject is not often discussed among the people, accepting that fate is done with bloodied teeth and scorched fingertips, a personal battle with grief from which you come out only somewhat victorious. Knowing that you’ll eventually be stricken by Mara is one thing, accepting that your loved ones will walk the same path is another entirely. No one talks about the worst part. Nobody tells you what you’re supposed to do when the memories fade away, replaced by the acrid smell of sulfur and a chill in your bones that you can never shake.

Hundreds of years of memories— content smiles, sun rays onto sweaty skin, cold hands in pale locks of hair, unspoken devotion— are hidden behind mist requiring immense focus to see through. You are not Mara-struck yet. Your mind is still your own, as much as it can be, and you are still alive. You ask yourself why often. Why it was her, first, and not you. Why you’re stuck living with holes inside of you when maybe you should’ve died along with the hundred Cloud Knights that had the misfortune of crossing her path that night. Loss has made you ashamed, you can’t even speak her name. It’d been erased from history and forbidden after that night, out of social disappointment and shame, but that is not why you can’t bear to utter it. It’s unfair that this is what you remember most of her; the collapsed buildings, the unbearable smell, the frozen corpses… Her beloved blade through your stomach. The way her gaze softened after a few glasses of wine has been replaced by the flash of crimson you caught a glimpse of before her sword buried itself in your guts. You vaguely recall how endearingly tight her muscles always were, how you or Baiheng had to smooth the knots out of her body once in a while. The news of her breaking out of the Shackling Prison, however, along with the screams that followed form a clear image in your treacherous mind. What use are memories if they are so fickle, so easily supplanted by horrors that quicken your heartbeat on thought alone?

If anything, you do not shoulder this immense grief alone. Jing Yuan was a scrawny, eager boy when you first met him, almost half your height and always trailing behind her like the dutiful apprentice he was. His enthusiasm lit up the training yard and his youthful determination quickly earned him a place amongst your most cherished. He would seek you out after hours of conditioning, sweat still clinging to his bushy brows, and request a friendly spar to show you what he’s learned, how fast he was getting, how swift he could slash his sword. Your position as a Lieutenant of the Cloud Knights made him look at you with naked admiration, he’d hang onto your every word with a seriousness unfit of his age and at times offered insight only a boy who had never known war could come up with. You think you remember a figure in the shade of a growing tree standing several feet away from where you and Jing Yuan sparred. Quiet as a golden eagle, diligent gaze making note of every sloppy thrust and slow retreat she would reproach her retainer afterwards, his master only revealed herself when the tip of your blade against his neck announced his defeat.

Jing Yuan was the one to rescue you on the ice. His quick intervention allowed for healers from the Alchemy Commission to reach you in time and tend to your injuries. He was also the one to end her. It had to be him, you know, but you regret your own weakness, your faltering steps and half-hearted parries— it’s a burden you wish he never carried. He bears it with a solemn glint in his eyes and an impeccable posture but he’s not General of the Xianzhou Luofu to you, and so he lets you keep him close whenever he visits your empty home. His appreciation for the comfort goes unsaid, though his shoulders stand inches lower once he sets out the door. After all, he lost her too.

You get déjà vu when Jing Yuan walks across the training yard with a skinny blonde boy in tow and introduces him as his retainer, Yanqing. His apprentice is just as eager and energetic as he was, and it’s easy to fall back into old habits when the boy eventually nags you into sparring with him. He’s talented, determined to achieve his goals, but a little too proud and overconfident. His arrogance reminds you of an old friend who once forged the sword you still wield like an extension of your arm. It’s somewhat endearing, and not entirely unearned. A part of you vaguely recalls the annoyed purse of the Sword Champion’s lips whenever your mutual friend would go on another spiel about mastering the way of the sword. Your fingertips trace the sheath of your blade at the thought.

The Stellaron crisis plunges the Luofu into disarray. It brings destruction and death to the Xianzhou on a scale that reminds you of her, of the illuminated moon in the night sky and the blood on your hands. You can’t allow the memories to paralyze you like they often do, however, so you work with Jing Yuan and the Master Diviner in order to eliminate the internal threat that pose the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus. The Mara-struck fall twice under your steel and the rest of the Abundance’s abominations quickly become light work for someone as experienced as you are. Since the Ambrosial Arbor crisis, they’ve been gathering in Stargazer Navalia the most, forcing an evacuation of all civilians to safer areas of the Luofu.

Though he has plenty of work on his hands, this is where Yanqing likes to disappear for an hour each day— additional training, he says. You trust his abilities, but today he is needed at the Alchemy Commission and is currently unreachable. No one has seen him for a while. You have an idea of his whereabouts, so you offer to look for him and relay the General’s message.

Two Cloud Knights stand guard as you enter Stargazer Navalia. Their posture straightens when they see you and they nod once in greeting.

“Has anyone seen Lieutenant Yanqing come through here, by any chance?”

One of them replies, “He was there an hour ago on an official investigation. Passed through here and went further into the docks.”

You don’t know about any official investigations but you offer a thankful nod anyway before walking past the Knights. The large shipping containers and crates create paths that workers use during the day but you figure it’d be easier to look for Yanqing if you had a better view of the area. You jump on top of a container and carefully skim the place ahead. As expected, abominations and Mara-struck lay on the floor, strewn about like discarded clothings. You follow their trail further inside Stargazer Navalia, between growing starskiffs and through already opened doors. It takes a little over ten minutes to catch up with the freshly cut-down enemies laying about as you hop from container to container. Shards of rock hard ice glimmer in the sun near the bodies, no doubt Yanqing’s doing. Honestly, that boy…

You can see his blonde hair when you advance a little further. He’s turning a corner, so you take a shortcut running above a long, empty container and land on the one behind him with a thud. The sudden noise alerts him and he swirls around with a hand on his sword, ready to attack, but you’re not looking at him. The ghost of a woman long gone stands beside him, her back to you, with a stillness that indicates she’s been aware of you before you made your presence known. The sight of her pale locks burns into your brain. The intricate design of the familiar attire she dons chokes you like firm hands around your throat, and you falter. The blues and whites and reds mix together as you blink to regain your footing.

“Lieutenant!” Yanqing straightens up, sheathing his blade. “What are you doing here?”

You taste ash on the roof of your mouth. Your fingers curl around the handle of your sword. Falling buildings, frozen corpses, sulfur burning your nostrils. Her blade through your stomach. (Hesitant fingertips against your cheeks, implied confessions, oiled palms on tense muscles.) A feeling that has been dormant for centuries stirs in your guts, snakes around your intestines and tightens your stomach. It travels through your ribcage and up your bobbing throat, forcing you to swallow it back down. There’s the slow ascent of the moon behind your eyelids with each blink and the stutter of your chest with each breath— a chill spreads over your limbs and they tense as if frozen in place. It paralyzes you; you feel mocked by the way your feet are glued to the metal under them. You are reminded of your previous weakness, of your blood on the ice and its frigidity seeping into your skin. You grit your teeth.

“Jingliu…” Her name is forced past your lips, evicted after uncomfortably sitting on your tongue for hundreds of years.

She does not move, except for the flicker of recognition that goes through her fingertips. A mirage, she has to be— a nasty trick of your fractured mind because she cannot be here, breathing, when Jing Yuan assured you of her demise.

“Huh? You know her?” Yanqing asks, oblivious to your struggle as he glances back to the woman next to him. His query confirms that she is flesh and blood but leaves no hint as to her state of mind. If she is the same as she was centuries ago, then he and the Luofu are in great danger.

“…Yanqing. The General is looking for you. Alchemy Commission.”

The boy frowns. “Did something happen? There’s something I have to finish up before—“

“Yanqing.”

He stops in his tracks with furrowed brows, displeased at having been interrupted. You finally tear your gaze away from Jingliu’s tense posture to look at him. He sees your hardened eyes and hesitates, turning towards his new acquaintance for a few seconds before clenching his jaw and nodding once. You outrank him, and though it often pains him to do so, Yanqing knows to respect the Cloud Knights hierarchy. He walks away without a word and disappears between the various shipping containers.

You stand above her, a hand on your blade, and breathe in the smell of the docks to loosen the pressure in your guts. It’s the middle of the day, the weather is warm, your skin is uncut. Blurry images of grasping hands sinking into bed sheets and locking lips fill your mind until you can’t see anything but the way her asymmetric bangs frame her face as she hovers over you, breathless. The crimson of her irises are dulled to a lustful cherry and she looks at you like she doesn’t believe you’re real. A fragment of her one-track mind and hateful heart made tangible for one night, to appease the disgusting yearning for closeness that lingers in her bones. She is not a weapon used against the Abundance and you are more than the fellow Cloud Knight that joined the ranks before she was thrusted into them. As her knuckle trails down your cheekbone to the corner of your parted lips, you are a new constant in her future, an immovable force that she cannot plan around, and she is just a woman. Not a survivor, not a fighter, she is a woman who longs for another’s recognition and gentle hands. And as she leans down to graze her bottom lip against your top one, you feel the searing pain of her blade piercing your flesh.

Blood trickles on your tongue and you realize it is from how hard you are biting the inside of your cheek. The visions are gone, replaced by Jingliu turning around to face you, her free hands limp at her sides. Her chin tilts slightly upward. She’s wearing a dark blindfold over her eyes— some part of you is grateful to be hidden from her sight— but you know it wouldn’t alter any of her abilities.

“Lieutenant…” She only says a word, trails off as if it leaves a strange sensation in her mouth. It’s not a question or a tentative statement; she utters your title with an infuriating fondness, like you’re an old friend she hasn’t seen in a while. It makes you sick.

“…...You are not dead,” you state blankly.

Jingliu takes a short breath. “Not yet, no.”

There’s a sluggishness to her words and a rasp more prominent than you recall it to be. Her voice is raw and breathy like every sentence comes at a price, and you are reminded of the curse that plagues her. You don’t understand how she’s standing here, seemingly sane, when the Mara had overcome her the last time you laid eyes on her. Still, the hand on your sword tightens its hold. There’s a thousand things you want to ask, a thousand more you wish to convey through touch alone, but you cannot trust her.

You wonder if she remembers almost ending your life. You wonder if she is haunted by regret and grief the same way you are. You wonder if some part of her still clings to that stricken body.

“You can let go of your sword,” Jingliu says, “I mean the Luofu no harm.”

“And me?”

“...You?”

You swallow a lump in your throat. Your toes tingle with sudden restlessness and it thaws the rest of your limbs, allowing you to take a measured step forward. “And me, Jingliu? Will you draw your blade against me once more?”

She is silent for some time, tense, and her fingers slightly curl inward in a momentary loss of composure. You can’t tell if it’s because she doesn’t recall ever doing that or because she does and the thought brings her pain. Finally, she shakes her head.

“You are not my enemy.”

“I wasn’t your enemy back then, was I?”

“…Your trust in me is inconsequential. I came to the Luofu to atone for my sins and surrender myself to the Alliance.”

Your jaw clenches. Past the initial confusion, you feel cheated. Angry. Hundreds of years of broken memories, lasting grief and paralyzing terror have eroded you, flayed you until you are nothing but bones and ligaments. You are walking the earth as less than half a person for no other reason than this is the destiny of all long-life species. Your closest friends have either fallen or withered around you, and that loneliness has debilitated you. How utterly unfair. You have dedicated most of your life to the Xianzhou Alliance and its people, you have been selfless, understanding, devoted, and you are rewarded with injustice. The person who you once called your strength has become the main character in your nightmares, and here she stands, ready to give up the pieces that are left of her to the same people who have ostracized her out of shame for centuries. For all the unbearable pain she caused you, she came back for them. You are the one she has a history with, you are the one whose life is intricately woven with hers. You are who she should be seeking atonement from, not the Ten-Lords Commission and the Arbiter Generals.

You don’t notice how pale your knuckles are from the grip on your weapon or the heaviness of your chest quickening your breath. You stare her down with gritted teeth and Jingliu doesn’t shy away from the growing fury in your gaze.

“Inconsequential,” you repeat in disbelief, your voice a little louder. “Inconsequential, me!”

“This is what I have to do. It is bigger than you, bigger than me.”

You jump down the container to land in front of her. She simply adjusts the inclination of her head.

“Do you remember, Jingliu? What you did to me?”

Her lips form a thin line. Her lack of response angers you further. You unsheath your sword and point the tip to her own weapon resting against her hip, then to her chest.

“Draw it.”

Jingliu makes no move to obey. “I will only unsheath my blade against my enemies, and you are not one of them.”

“You are cursed to forget, but I cannot. It is in every blink, in every pause; the destruction you caused, my—” you swallow, features twisting in a pained grimace, “my blood on your sword.”

Jingliu doesn’t reply, though her fingers twitch with restraint. Her chest rises and falls a beat faster, the only indication that your words are getting to her. You know this is unfair, that you’re only contributing to the injustice you have to face as a long-life species, but anger clouds your judgment and incites this hostile behavior.

“Draw it!” You exclaim in frustration. “Unsheath your blade and face me!”

You lunge forward in an instant, your weapon raised in a practiced arc towards her neck, forcing her to move out of the way. Her body instinctively bends into a defensive stance, but she makes no move to use her sword. You repeat the motion, over and over, and Jingliu evades each strike with an expertise only she possesses. She still refuses to fight you, to revert to the mindless abomination she was that night. You force her into a corner and as your blade descends at an angle to make contact with her bare shoulder, she leaps high over your head and lands gracefully behind you.

“Must we do this?” She sounds mentally exhausted, each word is spoken through pursed lips and a quiver goes through her sword-wielding hand.

You swirl around, molars grinding in anger. “Yes! You have haunted every part of me and replaced every cherished memory in my mind! You are what I see when I lay down at night, standing over me as I choke on my own blood!”

Jingliu brings a clawed hand to her temple and utters, “Enough…”

“You are the face of my nightmares, Jingliu.” Your voice cracks halfway through the sentence. “It ends today.”

When your weapon comes down to strike her this time, its steel meets Jingliu’s specially crafted blade. She uses the momentum of her parry and pushes you back with so much force it sends you flying, your back colliding into the side of a shipping container. You rise to your feet with a shaky breath.

The clash of swords rings in the air as you move between incubating starskiffs and metal crates in an emotional dance. Street lamps fall, stationed starskiffs are cut in two, jade wheels are damaged and incubators break. Jets of their liquid explode everywhere Jingliu returns your strikes with stronger ones, and soon you’re crashing into yet another door. Blood trickles down your nose. There’s a nasty cut on your hip that will require medical attention. You stand, unwavering, and pounce towards the other woman once more. Jingliu grits her teeth as her parry brings your face close to hers. The distinct melody of her blade in movement fills her ears and the ground shakes under her feet. All around you structures are falling, narrowly missing you.

Your muscles strain with exertion but with the feeling comes a strange sort of relief that only intensifies when Jingliu has you pinned to the pavement, swords previously discarded some feet away with an experienced flick of her hand. You’re both breathless for a long moment and for the first time since her reappearance in your life, you don’t taste smoke in the back of your throat.

The pink of her parted lips is the same shade it was almost a millennia ago. The world blurs and you see a flash of a moment long passed of the two of you in the same position; Jingliu’s smug smile hides the sun from view and the bustle of the training yard resumes the minute her victory is announced. When you blink your way back to reality, only a few seconds have gone by. You stare up into the blindfold, chest heaving. Your fingers hesitantly lift to graze the apple of her cheek. One of them slides under her veil and her hand wraps around your wrist to stop you from going further.

Her name is a breathy exhale past your lips. Her shoulders suddenly tense and her head tilts away from you. The moment breaks as she separates from you, rises to her feet and takes a couple steps back. Almost immediately, Cloud Knights rush to the scene in formation, followed closely by the General and his retainer. You let out a sigh, gaze raising to the clear sky. You lose yourself in its endless blue, a heaviness in your chest, until Jing Yuan’s outstretched hand appears in your vision. Jingliu is gone when you accept his help and stand with difficulty, along with Yanqing and the squad of Knights. Jing Yuan wraps a strong arm around your shoulders, steadying you, and you make your way back in silence.

He doesn’t leave your side even as you step into your home and make a beeline for the bathroom. His arms are crossed over his chest and he leans on the doorframe as you rummage through your cupboards for bandages and disinfectant. You find what you’re looking for after a couple minutes and sit on the toilet seat, lifting your armor over your head and discarding the bloodied shirt underneath. The cut on your left hip stings when you gently inspect it. It’s deep enough that it won’t be able to close on its own but not life threatening. You softly apply disinfectant so it doesn’t get infected, clenching your jaw at the pain.

“You should let the Dragon Lady take a look,” Jing Yuan finally speaks up, “or the Alchemy Commission have other experienced healers. They’ll treat you in minutes.”

You almost roll your eyes. You’ve been patching up wounds before he could hold a sword.

“Pass me the stitches.”

He complies, tossing you the plastic box on the counter. You catch it with a hand. Another silence settles between you as you sink the needle into your skin and tighten the thread, occasionally sucking in a breath. The space lingers with tension but neither of you acknowledges it until you break the thread of the stitches and apply a large bandage over the wound. You sigh tiredly and raise your head to meet his guarded gaze.

“Why did you lie, Jing Yuan?”

He takes a moment to reply. There’s a hint of guilt in his golden irises. “…I thought it to be the best course of action at the time.”

You don’t blame him. The days following Jingliu’s departure from the Luofu are a blur, hidden behind a smoke screen so thick you might as well have forgotten them. You only recall the sting in your throat, raw from how much you cried, and the darkness of your bedroom. Jing Yuan was there, as much as he was able to, so he must remember those days better than you; how shattered you were, like fractured shards of glass swept under the carpet. You can’t fault him for wanting to bring you closure.

You rise from your seat and put back the supplies in their rightful place. Jing Yuan steps aside as you walk out the door and watches you disappear in the bedroom for a change of clothes. You grab the first top you see and shrug it on. You don’t bother fixing your hair, you just make your way back to the living area to put on your boots and grab your discarded sword near the door. Jingliu should have been brought to the Shackling Prison after her arrest, so this is where you’ll go.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jing Yuan says from behind you, making you pause. “We don’t know how stable she is.”

“She seemed stable enough.”

“For now.”

You turn to face him. “Then, why are you here? We both know bars can’t hold her.”

“I wanted to check up on you.”

“...I need to do this.”

Jing Yuan only shuts his eyes in defeat and nods once. He doesn’t follow you when you leave the house and shut the door behind you.

You have no issue getting into the Shackling Prison and acquiring Jingliu’s cell number. It’s not a place you visit often despite your position, the memories it holds have a way of consuming you and leaving you clenching your throbbing head. You navigate its somber hallways and silent cell blocks with an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Your steps are swift, determined. You don’t stop to think about what you’re going to say once you’re face to face with her again. Jingliu is being held in a special containment chamber only used for dangerous criminals, with two Cloud Knights standing guard in front of the reinforced steel door. They look at each other when you plant yourself before them.

“No one gets in, General’s orders,” one of them says.

Your relationship with Jing Yuan is not a secret and often opens a lot of doors for you but encountering soldiers eager to please is a common occurrence. You have a few dozens under your command, they’re usually easy to deal with. However, the day has been long and you’re lacking the required patience to do so.

“Take it up with Jing Yuan, then.”

You push past them and they hesitate to stop you, glancing at each other. They grip their lances tighter when you open the door but don’t move as you enter the cell and close it after you.

The chamber is big enough to hold a single bed and a toilet in the corner, though its grey walls make it seem smaller than it is. The room would be casted in total darkness if not for the dim glow of the singular lightbulb on the ceiling. Jingliu is seated on the untouched mattress, legs crossed and palms flat on her knees. Her back is straight, her blindfold in place even in the low lighting, and you seem to have caught her in the middle of a meditation. She doesn’t speak as you stand awkwardly near the door, a hand curling around the handle of your sword in search of familiarity.

A couple minutes pass in tense silence with only the gentle buzzing of the electricity crackling through the lightbulb. You take that time to observe Jingliu for any sign of Mara. The even movements of her chest indicate her calm state of mind. Apart from the veil, she looks exactly the same as she did centuries ago; there’s no trace of the curse on her, and you are suddenly reminded of the first time you noticed her— you were the previous Lieutenant’s apprentice and she was a thin, pale girl haunted by nightmares of burning planets and suffocating fumes. That day, she crossed the training yard with a limp and cuts over her body, shattered sword held tight in one hand. You hadn’t gone out onto the field yet, your master didn’t think you were ready, but Jingliu had and you remember thinking that despite her poor state, she must be stronger than you. She would walk back at the end of each day with splintered and bruised skin and you would sneak her a glance, wondering what enemy she could have encountered this time. She was forced to survive and grew on the battlefield long before you did.

While you both learned the way of the sword, you did it to protect and she did it to cut down the object of her nightmares. Together, you climbed the ranks of the Cloud Knights and surpassed your masters. The burden of war brought you closer and your relationship transformed over the centuries; from comrades, to friends, to the one she went to whenever she craved peace from the visions plaguing her, to something more. You are deeply embedded in each other, her life story is yours and your mind is hers. The Mara curse might twist your perceived memories of her but it could never erase the affection you hold for her. It’s precisely because she means so much to you that thoughts of her have been tormenting you so.

Jingliu raises her head in acknowledgement and you’re brought back to the present with a blink.

“Sending you to interrogate me,” she says with a short exhale, words slow and raw, “how cruel.”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

She doesn’t reply, waiting for you to continue. You swallow the emotion in your throat.

“I’m here for closure.”

You take your eyes off her and turn away, facing the blank wall with a hand in your hair. You take in a slow breath and exhale through your mouth as fatigue begins to take over your limbs.

“You don’t get to come back,” you start. “After all those years, you don’t get to reappear and trail all those memories along with you. You said you were seeking atonement from the Alliance. So you remember, then.”

Jingliu is silent for a moment. Your back makes contact with the wall as you sit on the floor with your legs limp before you. You don’t look at her, instead staring at your covered toes.

“…I remember the voices,” Jingliu says softly, “so loud I couldn’t hear anything else. I remember people, the ice… you.” She takes a breath and shakes her head. “I am aware of the hurt I’ve caused, of the sins that cannot be erased. They will follow me until the end, but I cannot let them hold me back.”

“From what?”

“From cutting the heart of a star.”

The turn of phrase transports you back to a drunken evening and Baiheng’s contagious laughter, to the sweet aftertones of fruit in red wine and the flush in Jingliu’s cheeks as she stares at the setting sun. Flashes of that day appear in your mind; Baiheng’s ridiculous dares, your shared competitiveness, Jingliu’s tipsy kisses as consolation prizes. The unexpected memory warms you.

“Revenge, then. Even stricken with Mara, this is what you hold on to.”

“I was never satisfied with letting our enemies come to us.”

That much is true. Jingliu only ever plays the offensive.

Your head turns to face her. “Do you remember us? Even I only recall bits and pieces, now.”

Jingliu’s pointer finger taps her knee for some time. Then her chin tilts to the left, towards you.

“Bits and pieces, yes…” she repeats pensively. You wish you could see the pinch of her eyebrows. “You used to hate losing to me in duels.”

“Of course you’d remember that.”

There’s a hint of a smile on Jingliu’s lips. A light silence descends between you. It’s strange, being in a confined space with someone who you thought long dead; even stranger conversing with Jingliu after everything that went down with Yingxing and Imbibitor Lunae, with Baiheng, and the Luofu’s growth that she didn’t get to witness. You never thought you’d have a chance to see her again, let alone hear her voice speak back to you. Your fingertips twitch with the desire to hold her close.

“I forgot to ask, earlier,” you say, “about the blindfold.”

“It keeps me from seeing that which pulls me under the influence of the Mara. I have pushed past the limits of my mind a long time ago, but… the reprieve it gives me is welcomed.”

“Your will is admirable. Always was.” You think for a few seconds, then speak up hesitantly, “Will my touch be a trigger?”

Jingliu is slow to respond. You see her lips part to let out a sharp exhale and notice the new tension in her shoulders. You feel selfish for needing a semblance of the intimacy you once shared when her mind is so fractured and fickle. The feeling tightens your throat.

“…It shouldn’t.”

Your emotions threaten to consume you as you stand and wipe your palms on your thighs. You take some steps forward, hesitating when you reach the bed. Her head tilts backward as if staring at you through the cloth over her eyes. With a gentleness that surprises even herself, Jingliu uncrosses her legs and outstretches her hand. Your fingertips touch hers and with a flick of her wrist, slowly lace with hers. She pulls you into her, your knees on each side of her hips and your nose in her shoulder; her freezing hands travel over the expanse of your back and her head dips to breathe in the smell of your hair. You pinch your trembling lips and squeeze your eyes shut to keep the tears at bay, but it’s no use when you can feel the empty sockets that loss has dug inside of you over the years fill up with tenderness. A quiver runs through you. You feel Jingliu’s shaky breath near your ear as she pulls you tighter into her. Your arms wrap around her with as much emotion and warm tears roll down your cheeks over her frigid skin. Her touch makes you whole again, if only for a moment— she is tangible against you and not a fragment of the darkest recesses of your mind. It would seem unreal if you couldn’t feel the softness of her flesh beneath your fingertips.

“How lonely you must have been,” Jingliu mutters into your hair. You know she relates.

“I mourned you,” you manage to say, voice tight. “I’ve accepted that you’re gone. I won’t grieve any more.”

“Good. Then allow me a proper goodbye.”

You cry into her for a long time. Jingliu simply holds you closer with a hand on your back and fingers buried in your hair. You won’t see her again, she will be tried and judged on the Xuling and will go back to being a ghost of your past years. You only hope that this time the memories will be softer, full of her touch as she cleans your cuts; the curve of her mouth when you whisper good morning into her shoulder; the exhilarating sensation of her lips on yours after an exhausting day of wielding the sword. She remains your strength even as your tears dampen her clothes, with the scent of her around you and her breath in your ears, you feel strong enough to let her go. You lost her to the curse of the Abundance once, but she won’t slip through your fingers now. Regret and shame fade away, replaced by this new warm memory of you in each other’s arms. Her unnatural coldness expands your heart instead of constricting it and you let go of the collapsed buildings and acrid sulfur in the air; there’s only Jingliu’s lingering fondness and her calloused palms on your body. In this confinement cell, you say goodbye to a part of you.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr jingliu #jingliu x reader #gn!reader #hsr x reader #hsr x you #jingliu x you #hsr angst #hsr fanfic #honkai star rail jingliu

[generalsdiary]

do I keep you safe... after all that happened?

Blade with mentions of High Cloud Quintet members and Kafka

warnings: none (ig)

word count: less than 800

a/n: high cloud quintet lore has me in its grasp all the time; Blade's story is no different. I thought where might this man if kept as true as possible to his canon personality and attitude, and without bending his character, behave slightly differently, where he would act up, give us something different to ponder on… sort of an analysis of some parts, while connecting to the idea I had in mind, 3rd person pov (I could've written even more, but it would've gotten away from the point I wanted to make, the story I wanted to tell; which should stay the highlight rather than me going over his history)

description: if Blade had someone to protect… (this is probably angst)

his wishes of dying and ending his torment are his only focus, his only goal right now. the only reason he is doing what Elio wants and why he respects 'the script' is because he was promised that his wish will be fulfilled - tho that doesn't necessarily mean he will get to die... 'a promise of an eternal end and a final funeral'… foolish of him to believe it perhaps. within respecting the script he does allow himself to indulge in fighting Dan Heng. chasing him across spaceships where he keeps losing the fight – Dan Heng kills him in self-defense every time… until the latest fight, where Blade wins, forcing Dan Heng to also reveal his true form, so his anger and his rage do get through him and it is something he does beyond his one goal.

what would make this man... well more of a walking corpse, always on the edge of being mara struck, with one objective, do anything? he doesn't have wishes, or wants, he doesn't use his phone or ask for help, nor does he care. he wouldn't love again ever, nor seek joy. but he might... what if he might... protect? is it caring? should it be called an old instinct? there isn't a way to know. this is how it goes.

would he even notice he stepped in front of a sword, would he make a conscious decision to protect? or is it a reflex?

the way his strong, young again body moves in front of the enemy, parrying the attack, his ribs getting slashed, he doesn't even flinch at them anymore.

Jingliu took the flinching away from him a long time ago. his attacks are not as precise, more focused on hitting hard, he doesn't care anymore.  that is the way Jingliu during their last fight can dodge every single one of them - amongst a few more reasons why she can dodge them, such as she trained him to fight the way he does.

Jing Yuan does say to him that it isn't wise to put down the hammer and take up the sword. the general remembers the arrogant, brilliant, relentless craftsman - who now, can never craft a weapon again - the injuries on his body (and mind) too grave. to the craftsman he was... it would be little to say that it would be heartbreaking that he could never forge a weapon again.

Blade's body heals in a short amount of time, it hurts, it doesn't get numb over time, and his pain limit just goes up. the way he doesn't turn around or acknowledge whoever he'd be protecting. he isn't the type to seek to protect any type of human or similar humanoid species. so this makes it a reflex, a reflex that might have a thought behind it. maybe not a thought... maybe a memory. maybe a memory of the woman he opened up to as a shy, insecure boy years ago. a weak memory that is making his mara act up, in hopes Kafka is nearby while his mind gets clouded and he slowly loses control. a memory, a recollection of someone who might've meant something to him long before he became... Blade. maybe a stinge of pain where his heart is, for the moment the memory gets clearer. the person that used to be, who they used to mean to... Yingxing. and the recall of his old self bringing him to his knees as he loses his mind, the enemies' bodies lying dead on the ground getting blurry in his vision. mara crept up faster on him, his breath getting heavy.

a crackling, buzzing feeling around his mind, his hand moving to cover his face, a lightning-like power chaining his relentless mind. (his self-healing abilities are insane, so why.. oh, why can't they heal his broken mind? why doesn't it work on that too?) gentle, familiar feminine voice and familiar hands placing a blindfold on his eyes. his mara now strained, not calmed down, but strained.

he is brought up from his knees, on the verge of becoming unconscious, losing any grasp of reality as he is slowly being walked somewhere.

there's a faint voice behind him. he barely registers it. the soft, high-pitched child-like voice shakingly asking, "hey! where are you taking him? will-will he be alright? let me help him, I can help- I will heal him!" the voice gets fainter, he doesn't even know what he was doing there anymore as he is walked away even further.

delusional, the woman may call him, upon hearing him mumble - basically unconscious at this point - mumbling like an asleep person now.

"she's safe- Baiheng... she... Bailu... safe" his voice weak, soft and he fades away.

#hsr #honkai star rail #star rail #blade #yingxing #jing yuan #kafka #jingliu #baiheng #bailu #dan heng #dan heng imbibitor lunae #imbibitor lunae #dan feng #blade angst #blade writing #blade oneshot #blade draft #yingxing angst #yingxing lore #blade lore #high cloud quintet #blade x dan heng #blade x jing yuan #blade x kafka #blade x jingliu #blade x baiheng #blade x bailu

[rin-fukuroi]

foxian reader that reminds Blade of Baiheng and it causes him pain that he has never felt before (literally just him being protective but not wanting to admit it) </3

Thank you very much for the request~

I'm sorry for making you wait so long. I hope the wait was worth it.

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧' 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞 [𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: Blade x fem!foxian!reader

Warnings: a little angst.

▶• ılıılıılıılıılıılı. UNDREAM, Neoni — Nightmare

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

I like this work. Although I usually like to write more about the tougher Blade, sometimes it's nice to remember his softer sides and that deep down he is still capable of love, even if it hurts him.

It's amazing how only one thing, one look, one person can destroy an already shaky structure.

— Oh… — you look so scared. Your ears are slightly tucked in when you step back, away from the numb man. — You must be a Stellaron Hunter.

You're scared. And you're not at all sorry that meeting you broke down the fragile walls separating Blade from his past. Of course, you have no idea what's going on in his head while his scarlet eyes burn a hole in your chest, on which your trembling fist rests, convulsively clutching the fabric of your dress.

— Will you kill me?

Blade doesn't hear a word you say, cornered, with a soft fluffy tail pressed against your hip.

«So much like her…»

You take a step back as opposed to his step forward. The silence hanging between you and the killer wanted all over the Lofu makes your heart pound in your chest, but you can't take your eyes off him. The hilt of the cracked blade is still clutched in his long fingers in a black glove, while the shadow of the menacing tall figure of the man absorbs your whole being more and more, plunging you into a state of terrifying trance.

All sounds disappeared. Only your shortness of breath still breaks the silence for a man, while the ringing in your ears does not allow you to hear even your own rapid heartbeat.

The viscous crimson liquid in Blade's veins boils, and his head is so dizzy that he is hardly sure that he is still standing on his feet. These memories from the past stick into his shaky consciousness like needles. The memories of Yingxing, whose eyes now see in front of them a fragile but strong girl, shining with a gentle smile, from which painful cramps twist the stomach. But Blade's eyes only see you, trembling in horror in the face of death, which you are sure will overtake you right here and right now, in this dark alley, in which you had the misfortune to find yourself at the same time as the Hunter, holding out a bandaged hand to your face.

His cold touch brings you out of your stupor, making you flinch when Blade's thumb gently pressed against your cheek. Trembling lips open when you're about to say something, but the words curl into a sharp lump stuck in your throat.

Of course you're afraid. Of course, you don't understand why Blade is looking at you now with such regret and a desperate desire to utter words of remorse, but he just can't stop. So much… pain. So many memories torment the Hunter at this second, when both of you are afraid to break the suffocating silence. Each for their own reasons.

But you're just as surprisingly brave as the girl Yingxing once knew.

The man's thick eyebrows rise when you grab his wrist with a trembling hand. Now your face looks furrowed when you give Blade an annoyed look.

— If you want to kill me, then do it already, — your voice is permeated with such amazing confidence in what you are saying, and your tail swings so funny from side to side, shuffling along the wall behind you. — Or did you just decide to add harassment to your list of crimes?

Your ears abruptly straighten in amazement when you feel Blade's palm release your face, now moving to his forehead and covering his terrifying fiery eyes while a hoarse laugh escapes from his lips.

— What's your name? — the man asks in a low, velvety voice.

You hesitate, pressing your long ears back against your shiny hair again before, now with less confidence in your voice, giving your answer.

— Y/N…

The corners of Blade's lips lift slightly in a barely perceptible smile, after which a large bandaged palm hits the wall on the right side of your face.

— You are brave, Y/N, — the Hunter puts the blade back into its sheath with one deft movement of his hand, fixing his menacing gaze on you. — We will definitely meet again.

His last words didn't sound like a threat before Blade's figure disappeared into the darkness, as if he had never loomed over you like a heavy shadow.

It was a promise.

✧ ✧ ✧

You couldn't get that night out of your head.

You've never felt the breath of death so clearly before, and you've never seen a person who personified it. One glance at the Hunter was enough to see the road behind him, strewn with corpses, but … for some reason, just for a moment you felt the irresistible sorrow and longing that soaked Blade's fingers touching your cheek.

No, no, no. You were just too scared. Surely, murderers like him are alien to anything human.

But then why can't you get him out of your head?

Just like Blade can't stop secretly watching you, feeling like a real masochist. He could just run away from this suffocating sense of guilt, from the pain that he causes himself over and over again with his own hands, coming back to you over and over again.

Is he even allowed to have warm feelings for you? Blade knows he doesn't. These feelings burn him like an unbridled flame, in which one day he is destined to burn alive for the sin that he is going to take on his mutilated soul again.

But if the pain he feels every time your name pops up in his mind, every time he sees you, is the price he has to pay for the selfish desire to feel happy again for a moment…

Blade is ready to pay it.

Therefore, there is no longer a blade in his hand. Now his ruby eyes look into yours with awe and a desire to protect. Now the pads of his long fingers touch your chin with the certainty that you want it. Blade sees it in your almost childishly innocent eyes, looking at him with a mixture of fright and anticipation when he brazenly invades your life again, making the muscle in your chest tremble with an inexplicable feeling that you cannot resist.

— Sorry to keep you waiting… Y/N.

#headcanons #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai:star rail x reader #honkai:star rail #blade x reader #hsr angst #blade x you #hsr x you #hsr drabbles

[nervocat]

“The stars look down on you as you wander with your cat guide. They want to tell you a story of theirs. Will you listen to them?”

# — Notes: THE LONG AWAITED CH 1!! IT'S HERE!!! I'm so happy with the outcome hehe. I hope you all enjoy it too, I had fun writing this <33 and things are just getting started with the angst.. 😈😈 # — Word count: 826 # — Fandom: Honkai: star rail # — Cw: hinted YingFeng (it's NOT RenHeng, it's different), mentioned stabbing, and technically murder # — Taglist: @dumbificat , @ariicandy , @thetwinkims , @imanonandawkward , @klemen-time , @akuangels , @minvtte

—Chapter 1: The Fallout

Yingxing and [name]’s weapons clashed, the sound carrying throughout Scalegorge Waterscape. It had been a long time for Yingxing, his hair turned white and face aged with time. Though he was still as nimble as he was when he was younger — for the most part.

“Hah.. you're good, [name]..” he says through heavy breaths. “Just give me a break, alright?” they smile and nod at Yingxing, laughing a bit as they help Yingxing to move.

Jing Yuan was an adult now, and watching the two old friends spar, their matching red jewelry a sign of said friendship, he couldn't help but feel enamored by their fighting style. It was similar, obvious that old man Yingxing had helped [name] learn to fight in his earlier years.

[name] still used the weapon Yingxing had crafted them all those years ago, and Yingxing used the sword he crafted for himself. The weapons that the Quintet members wielded were also made by Yingxing, gifts by him.

Jing Yuan was taken out of his trance when Jingliu, his former mentor, elbowed him lightly, a small smile adorning her lips. “Seems Yingxing is getting a bit old, tapped out again because his back hurt,” she laughs a bit, with Jing Yuan looking back to Yingxing and [name] walking over to Dan Feng.

It was known to the group the two friends — including themselves — were very proud of [name] in their accomplishments. They learned how to fight well, and had made it big in writing with the help of Baiheng in publishing their stories along with hers. Yingxing always looked at them with fond eyes and a smile, almost like a father would their child.

Dan Feng was similar — though he was older than both of them — and looked at both with the same fond eyes and a softened expression. [name] was technically one of the younger ones in the group, only being older than Jing Yuan, looking up to Yingxing and Dan Feng like a kid would. Their friendship was more of a found-family bond, running deep into the years they've known each other. And there was definitely something more going on with Yingxing and Dan Feng behind the scenes.

“Dan Feng!!” [name] calls, running ahead of Yingxing. “Did you see me?! I'm finally able to keep up with Yingxing and his attacks!” Dan Feng's lips curl into a small smile, his arms crossed like they always are, and nods.

“I did see, [name],” he looks up to his other close friend, a teasing glint in his draconic eyes. “Though, don't you think it's because he's getting to be a bit old?” [name] feigned a gasp as Yingxing stood beside them, laughing a bit.

“Dan Feng! How could you!?” The Vidyadharas smile widens slightly, also laughing a bit.

“I know, crude of me, huh?” Jing Yuan, Baiheng and Jingliu look on with smiles at the three. They truly hoped that this would last as long as they all lived.

The sorrows of the Quintet spill over onto the battlefield, their group slowly cracking and falling apart.

“Dan Feng.. Yingxing.. why...? Why would you commit such a foul crime?”

Cries of sadness and pain echo out, [name] stands amidst it all, weapon in hand as tears fall from their eyes. Their friends having turned against each other, it was hard to watch. They fall to their knees, weapon clattering to the ground.

“..Baiheng’s dead!”

What happened..? Why did they.. what was their goal? “Yingxing..”

“I am no longer him, but a shell. Keep that name out of your mouth.”

He is but a shell, is what “Blade” says. An abundance abomination. An immortal being who cannot welcome death and can only yearn for such a fate, and is forever stuck with the Mara and losing his memories of the past.

Jingliu.. stabbing into Blade many times as [name] calls out for her to stop, that it's not worth it as they sob uncontrollably at the sight of what used to be their mentor getting killed over and over and over and over and-

“Jingliu! Please! Just- just stop this insensitive madness!”

They remain in the shattered aftermath of the battlefield with Jing Yuan. He, who had to rid of his mentor because of the Mara. She went on a rampage, killing many in her wake. They look at each other, the only ones that are left of what was the High Cloud Quintet.

“So.. now what?” They ask, voice full of regret and sadness as they clutch their weapon, the last thing they have of Yingxing other than their necklace.

“That.. I am unsure of, [name].”

Dan Feng, he who was forced into a rebirth, and was chained up in prison for his crimes. He, who is now Dan Heng.

The Xianzhou pick up the broken pieces and put their lives and civilization back together, but as time passes, [name] and Jing Yuan still remain shattered, only having the other for comfort and companionship.

★ — © nervocat || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦

#🗯️ ͏ ͏͏ ͏: ͏ ͏ ͏ galaxy series ˑ ִ✷ #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #honkai star rail #star rail #hsr #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x gn reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x gn reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr angst #platonic hsr #platonic angst #strictly platonic #high cloud quintet

[ninothebirb]

WE WERE ONCE ONE

A Jing Yuan x Gn! Reader love story, where the reader's past lover, Dan Feng has no memory of them...and they spend their life caring for Bailu and obsessing over their lost love...

Prologue: There is no forever

Content Warning: Angst, Graphic depiction of violence( a lil bit), hurt, gn reader, mental trauma

You watched in horror as a few drops of blood, and a tuft of light blue hair fell on the ground from the vortex of raw power. The battle of Shuhu was then over, leaving you, Jing Yuan, Jing Liu, Dan Feng, and most of all Yingxing left in a void of endless despair. From that day, it all went downhill.

Your once affectionate lover, had gotten cold and lost in his own world. He stole the power of abundance- only to commit the most unfathomable and reckless sin in history- bringing Baiheng back to life. Ying Xing was stubborn, and willing to help- only to be mara struck and abandon all reason for living.

The love of your life, had been sent to the shackling prison, being forced to undergo molting rebirth and eternal banishment. Jing Yuan kept you suppressed reluctantly, as you cried, screamed and thrashed.

Jing liu, who had introduced you to the high cloud quintet, and treated you and Jing Yuan like her own children- had too succumbed to Mara, slaughtering everyone that came in sight.

But you discovered a tiny miracle, a newly born vidhyadara named Bailu had been born. You vowed to care for her your entire life- providing her with utmost love, in memory of Dan Feng and Bai Heng. She was now your priority- and you would make sure that no harm would ever come her way.

#hsr x reader #gn reader #angst #sad #jing yuan x reader #dan feng x reader #imbibitor lunae x reader #honkai star rail x reader #love story #slow burn

[loafyall]

Heheheh angst…. Heheheheh

What would the HCQ do if Yanqing either got seriously injured or just died

OOOHHHH I LUV ANGST TIME YALL

Let's go with if yanqing died

Depression, Jing yuan wouldn't leave his room for days or even weeks heck it will do turn months!, It was stupid of him, So stupid that he couldn't protect his own son, Someone who he treasured, He won't be able to get over his death so easily, in the soul soothing ceremony, He didn't give all yanqing's items, Only a few, And rest? He kept to himself. The pain of losing a child was unbearable, he wasn't able to eat or sleep properly, It was only when Yingxing forced him to rest and eat.

Yingxing and danfeng would have never believed the news, Thinking that people were pranking them, But no. After seeing jing yuan's state, They realised that Yanqing was no longer, He was gone. Yingxing just stayed in his blacksmith shop for days, Refusing to eat, He was broken after yanqing's death, But he had to take care of jing yuan, Knowing that Jing yuan would have a scar for the rest of his life, He has to help his husband.

Dan feng did find yanqing's diary, There were many things that Yanqing wanted to do, It was like a bucket list, see the new swords at the artisan commision, Buy swords, etc. poor boy will not longer buy his desired swords, Nor stay with his loved ones. This was rarely when Dan feng cried, Losing the kid who he raised along side his two husbands, Yingxing and jing yuan, He swears he will kill the person who murdered yanqing.

Baiheng would not believe the news at first, As jingliu told her, But as she started to realise, Baiheng had a breakdown, She started crying in the arms of her wife, jingliu, Jingliu however in the situation was strong, And held back her emotions. But deep down, Yanqing's death did affect her, She couldn't stand seeing baiheng and jing yuan like this at all, She missed yanqing.

WELL I HOPE YALL LIKE THIS, KEEP GIVING ME MORE QUESTIONS!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY SWEETIES 🥰

#hsr yanqing #hsr #honkai star rail yanqing #yanqing #jing yuan #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail #hsr jingliu #jingliu #high cloud quintet #baiheng #yingxing #xingyue #dan feng #jingrenheng #hsr dan feng