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blueparadis · 9 months

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❝VOID❞ + JING YUAN.

+. CWs —» established relationship, arrange marriage, husband!jing yuan x wife!fem!reader, slowburn, a little worldbuilding, mutual pinning, smut, oral acts, he is so lovesick here it makes me cry. word count-3.5k (I'm in misery)

+. PRECIS —» Jing Yuan has picked up a new hobby ever since he married you and brought you to Xianzhou. He riles you up because of two reasons; one: he loves seeing your reactions and two: he relishes the thrill of appeasing you in various ways.

+. NOTES —» This is for @8kh. I've been wanting to write something for you for a long time and after reading your jing yuan i knew i he was the chosen one. I hope you really like this huntie. finding you on this hellsite is one of the best thing that has happened to me and i'm so grateful for you godly writing.

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Lately, Jing Yuan has been spending most of his time with Yanqing. Training him in fighting, teaching him about the history of lands and management, and sometimes tutoring him in case the official pedagogue was absent. Yanquing has been an integral part of his life. Ever since he brought you to his homeland by marrying you; you never complained just learned to get used to it. It was not like he was not giving you time, he was but more than you needed, more than you wanted. Jing Yuan just wanted to give you space because arrange marriages are not a match made in heaven. So, in his head, he was just being a patient husband.

The first few months were wasted due to too many rituals and traditions. Then, the night arrived that he was waiting for, like a hungry lion watching his prey grow bigger with each passing day. It was one of the best nights he had, both in terms of consummating the marriage and sleep. He is no master at things like this but he tried his best within his knowledge. He knew it bits and pieces. He was inexperienced. He was modest. He was gentle.

But lately, all he can think about is how he wants to pleasure you, be near you, and make you happy. He is relieved that he has Yanqing to occupy his time when he is away from you otherwise he would become someone you would definitely dislike. He has noticed how easily you blended in his household, with the workers, staff, commoners, and especially with Yanqing. No doubt he has grown fond of you. Sometimes when Jing Yuan was busy with wars and meetings he would occasionally spot Yanqing with you. It would make his chest tighten but at the same time lighten his heart seeing you are slowly adjusting, trying to fill the gap left by your homeland— which means you are trying to work this marriage out just like he wants, which means he can keep you, which means he can own you.

When he feels his chest contort in pain he while seeing you smile avoids you. For days. He does not know why and he is not bothered about it as long as you are happy, as long as your smile is intact. He thinks it must be the guilt of snatching you off from your home. You must miss your home, if not the people then the climate, the food, and so on. It pains him.

It really vexed you when he kept Yanqing busy during evenings with books and games when he should spend time with you to show you the ropes of palace management. And, late at night, when he comes crawling to you exhausted from his worldly affairs he becomes a little handsy, not that you mind but you wish he would rather tell you before showing you. At dawn you find yourself curling into his chest with one of his arms underneath your head as a pillow.

Tonight would be no exception. Yanqing was buried in books while the general was in his inner chambers. The sun has just bid goodbye to the sky. It is time for you to retire from your work too. You entered his room and found him nowhere so you strolled towards his bath lounge witnessing an odd thing. The general was soaking himself in the bathtub, the steam of hot water filling the room and a maid was applying soap in his shoulders.

It instantly made you sick to your stomach. The thing that was happening in front of your eyes seemed oddly familiar yet this is the first time you have ever witnessed him in such a poor display of taste. Oh! That's right. You have heard stories from your mother and read some too when you were young when you were not married.

Jing Yuan opened his eyes as the approaching footsteps came to a halt. “Well, this is a surprise.” He exclaims waving his hand towards the maid. But even before that she already stopped herself when she saw you and was ready to leave even before her master ordered to. Your husband did not fail to notice the gravity of your presence that affected her, and almost made her leave without her master's permission. As the maid left the bath lounge closing the door behind, Jing Yuan let out a short-lived soft chuckle. “It seems that my little sparrow is angry at me.” leaning his head at the edge of the tub closing his eyes.

Half a minute passed yet there was no response from you. When he opened his eyes again he could not see you. His eyes scanned the room and it stopped where you were fidgeting inside a cabinet. “Sorry to interrupt your bath, your Highness. I just came to take some of the bathrobes that I left last time.” He clicked his tongue in annoyance. He hates it when you address him by those petty titles. Master, general, highness — he hates all of them. with a heap of silky robes in your hands you proceeded towards the exit.

“You could have asked some maid to do that.” His words made you pause. You turned around trying your best to keep up the poker face inhaling the stabbing sadness in your ribs. “I apologize my ... master. I'll keep that in mind. You will not be disappointed next time.” As those words escaped your mouth you could slowly come to terms with the reality, of what was happening. You have seen your mother shed enough tears to be aware of what feelings can do. It is common for a high-ranking male like your husband to own one or two, or maybe more concubines so it is best not to get too attached to him.

“Hmmm.” Jing Yuan speaks again, “Since you scared her away help me to clean.” There was no hint of kindness, just straightforward orders which was the only thing you had a hard time adjusting to since in you came here. His orders. His fucking annoying habit of barking orders. In your hometown, no one dared to bark orders like that but you were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps, it was just his force of habit.

“Yes. My ma—”

“Lion.” Jing Yuan corrected quirking one of his brows as your eyes snapped at him. “I prefer Lion.” He held your gaze. You sauntered towards his back breaking the eye contact, keeping those robes on the nearest shelf and picking up the soap to apply on his shoulders. Scrunching up your nose in disgust you hesitated before touching him. The memories of your mother crying and your father shouting at her were too frequent in your mind for you to focus on him. You closed your eyes before finally touching him but he grabbed your hands and when you opened your eyes by hearing splashes of water, he was already standing, naked, dripping with water.

The steam in the room had long faded.You felt your ears burn, cheeks heat up seeing him naked. You have seen him naked before during your first night but this is still embarrassing. When you finally looked at your husband he said, “You know what . . . I changed my mind.” with an upcurve at the corner of his lips. He stepped out of the tub.

“God! You’re so soaked. Let me grab you a towel otherwise, you’ll catch cold” Great. No honorifics. No modesty. Things did not go as Jing Yuan planned. Moreover, you are so sly at avoiding him. Maybe he really hit your nerves hard this time. You were about to turn with a towel in your hand but wet, toned muscular arms wrapped around your upper body.

“you looked like you were jealous.” He stated cooingly resting his chin on the crook of your neck, his member nudging the apex of your hips. Even through the fabric, you could feel your skin igniting with goosebumps. “She is just an ordinary maid. Don't fire her or punish her, okay love ?” He sounded apologetic and regretful, flawlessly hidden underneath his husky voice. You exhaled. You do not need his explanation nor he is obligated to give you one. With his position and wealth, he could have anything at any moment. Your title is nothing in front of his orders. The perpetual tapping sound broke you from the trance. He just undid the chain of buttons of the gown that you were wearing. You could see your reflection in the mirror and his amber eyes glued on you as started to slide his hand through the innerwear.

“I was not jealous.” You babbled feeling his fingers playing with the straps of your innerwear. Turning around you sat at his feat hoping to avoid his eyes and whatever he thought he could do by unbuttoning your dress. “I was just surprised, my lord. If you had told me about this, I would not have acted the way I did. I would not have embarrassed you. I would not dare. I am really sorry — Jing Yuan chinned up your face. Seeing tears settle at the corner of his eyes he cursed himself

Fuck! He really should not have played a prank on you like this. He thought you would get jealous just like other girls, and he would have handled you in his own way like men generally do. But seeing those tears was somehow satisfactory since he never thought he would mean so much to you; rather than being jealous you are hurt at the thought of losing him or having any woman by his side. He had stopped taking baths in the presence of others since he became a man and doing it just to get a reaction out of you was definitely not a good idea. You swayed your face jerking away from his hold embarrassment hitting your body in all proportions but he was strong, a lot stronger than you could ever imagine.

“Wow, my lion is sensitive today.” You stated as he stood hovering above you. Jing Yuan's mind is so quick to wander from those eyes that were trying their best to hold back the tears to your trembling lips. He runs his thumb on your bottom lip holding your chin as he kept up with your gaze. You do not move. You do not avert his gaze. You let him grow comfortable in the silence.

“And my little sparrow is so wounded today.” He swallows as he enjoys the view of you. His beautiful innocent wife sitting at his feet. It makes him want to ruin you in ways that he even can not seem to fathom yet.

“General,” two loud bangs followed. “The meeting is ready. And you promised you would let me join tonight.” It would definitely be Yanqing. Jing Yuan pressed the bridge of his nose letting out a frustrated groan. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. You carry—Taking this golden opportunity you stood and walked away towards the door. On your way out you grabbed a serape that Jing Yuan generally uses. He ruined those buttons anyways. You have to get it fixed by a tailor.

“Are you not forgetting something? Hmmm, my little sparrow,” You paused and looked sideways. From your peripheral vision you could tell he was wrapping a night robe. You just nodded in denial. The moment you took another step he grabbed you from behind. This time his grip was harder. You winced a little and he turned you around keeping his firm grip on your forearms. “I will see you in our room tonight.” He smiled before leaving a kiss on your forehead. “Don’t lock the room like last time.”

As soon as he released you, you ran like a bird without looking back. Jing Yuan could hear the sound of your anklets accompanied by hurried footsteps. When it stopped he could hear Yanqing's voice and your smooth melody of laughter. “She is lively as ever,” Jing Yuan painfully groaned looking at his rock-hard cock.

The assembly was going smoothly. Several warlords were present today. Xianzhou has been at peace for centuries but not Jing Yuan’s mind. His mind was always busy weaving something. Evenings never go empty. Even though he eradicated all the threats, he still makes schemes for battles because that is what he is made for, that is all his mind can do— predict and prepare for battles, eradicate or kill any possible threats, train or recruit potential candidates for the next general after him. His life has become an experiment, and he himself a weapon. He is an inspiring legend to many. People aspire to be like him.

But Oh! How he wished he could throw it all away sometimes. But he can not. His hands are tied. He is born to lead and protect. Any slight deviation in the system might collapse it from the roots and that is what he feared most: changing and mellowing because of life. And it happened so quickly and so vividly that he had no choice but to embrace it. Marriage was not the part of plan and he had no manual on ‘how to run a marriage so by nature he is bound to experiment and go through the ups and downs.

Like right now, all he can think of when this meeting is going to end and he is to retire in your chambers. Generally, you are to wait for him in the master bedroom only after he sends the message to see you but he has broken many rules and traditions to the point that some are deemed null and void for him. He could dismiss all the warlords and commissioners at ease but Yanquing is so invested that it makes him change his decision. In the end, he was too conflicted between Yanqing and you that he ended up going by his schedule. Finished the meeting, had supper, and retired to his chambers. So, to distract himself he carved an eagle out of a piece of wood during the meeting till it came to an end. He would have given it to Yanquig but he rather felt comfortable keeping it to himself.

Staring at the heavily embellished ceiling he thinks if he could still visit you, if you would still keep the door open or deliberately lock it even after his polite reminder. But a certain locked door would not keep you apart from him. He would still visit you if he wanted like he did that one time. Around midnight when you were tossing and turning he was standing right behind the door. He was still hesitating because of the cold war he had with you this evening. He did not mean to hurt you. He just wanted a reaction, a mechanical reaction that he could match with otherworldly things and tend to it.

Exhaling strongly he knocked once. No answer. Twice. Still, no answer. Thrice. “Alright. That’s it. I’m coming in” he murmured with annoyance before swinging the door open only to find you sleeping at one side of the bed peacefully. He smiled to himself at the sight. So, you were expecting him despite the hurt he caused you. He sat by the edge of the bed as soundlessly as possible trying not to wake you up. Something nudged his hips and when he checked his pockets he found the carved eagle. Keeping it to a side bed table his eyes landed on you again. You released a soft moan as you turned around and he could feel his cock twitch. He wished he could fuck you witless right now but at the same time, he did not want to disturb your sleep, especially after hurting you this evening so badly; though unintentionally but he did. He keeps reminding himself of that.

Jing Yuan kept staring at your face for a while until he finally gave in. As he brushed the back of his fingers along your cheek you jerked wide awake. Nice reflexes. You curled at the corner of the bed in an instant like a coiled spring pulling the duvet up to your neck. Now that he thinks about it, you were wearing such a flimsy dress that he could see your breasts. But his eyes were solely focused on your face. He blinks before locking eyes with you as he speaks. “Do you find me that appalling? Are you scared of me that much?”

“No. I could never. Please do not misunderstand. I’m—-

“Sorry?” he finishes your sentence.

“Ugh. not scared.” You bit the inner flesh of your bottom lip. ”And not appalled.” Jing Yuan blinked in surprise a few times cocking his head at you. Of course. He could never see eye to eye with him. You have to oppose him, prove him wrong, say something entirely different from what he expected of you, do something anything remotely related he had thought you could do. His lips tug up in delight as he crawls towards you. “Not bothered either?” he slides the duvet away from your grips. You do not respond. There is no point in it. He would catch your lie anyways.

Jing Yuan closes his eyes before grazing his nose against your cheeks very lightly making you grip the silk bedsheets. “your heart is beating so fast right now.” He rasps. His hot breath tickles your nerves.

“Yours too, my lion.” you whispered back. He recoils looking at you with a surprise. He is now hovering over you being all on his fours while you were underneath him, on your knees touching his chest. As you straightened your legs as a gesture to invite him he grew more surprised by you. He could do two things. Either he can talk it out with you or he can fuck your brains out. He chose the second.

Jing Yuan's lips landed on yours disrupting your balance. His weight forced you to lie on the bed. His arms slide underneath your waist scooping you up as if you were not close enough to him. His kiss grew hungrier eliciting slow soft moans and shaky breaths from you. Your hands flew back to the back of his nape and then slides upon his chest. Unable to take him any longer you pressed on to his chest slightly. He retreated, huffing and panting savoring the hungry look in your eyes. “Hold this for me,” he muttered bunching up your nightgown up to your waist. He could ask you to take it off or hold it above your chest displaying your breasts for him but he did not do that. He wanted you to do that, voluntarily. He wanted to remove the veil of modesty you have once and for all. It will take time and he is a patient hunter.

As he brought his mouth towards your entrance you gulped and the moment his mouth latched on to your vagina it felt like he was tasting the forbidden fruit of heaven for the first time. This is not the first time he has gone down on you but something was different. He was earnest and hungry, his tongue was swiftly licking your folds, his lips sucking onto your bud. It felt like he was about to devour your soul out of your astral body. Your hand reached onto his head, diving into his silver strands. He sucked at your bud hard before pausing to speak. “you keep your hands where they are or I'll tie them up.”

You were so out of breath to fabricate a reply but inhaling deeply you exclaimed softly, “Like this.” bunching up your garment up to your neck and then discarding it.

“you're such a fucking tease, you know that?” he mused merrily before diving back his mouth into your cunt. He kept sucking and licking as your moans kept rising, your body squirming, and his grip on your hips grew stronger. You shut your eyes closed, feeling a knot forming at the pit of your stomach. His teeth sank into your inner thigh as he managed to push his fingers into your hole. With a few erratic strokes along with sucking and biting your lips and you came into his palm, soaking the bed sheets.

When he sat upright with glistened nose and lips, and disheveled hair you were buck naked while he was still clothed. “This going to be a long night.” He teased seeing you tugging with the sash of his robe. He leaned towards you giving you a taste of your juices. “Don’t you just taste divine?” he says breaking the kiss.

“I couldn’t tell, my lion.” You hinted asking for more. Jing Yuan smiles, his eyes flash on the wooden eagle he kept at the bedside table. He smirked before kissing you back fervently.

Yeah. It can wait. The baby talk can definitely wait.

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jingsyuans · 1 month

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Multidimensional shenanigans where Jing Yuan gets forced into another timeline. Despite waking up in his own house, his own bed, Jing Yuan can tell that something is different. His bed sheets don’t smell like this, his room isn’t decorated like this. Miniature changes that Jing Yuan is unsettled by. He creeps out of the bed on guard, silently stalking through his own home- but this isn’t his home.

Not just his home, that is. He’s met with the beautiful, unusual sight of you- so this is what you look like in the morning? In the kitchen as if you belong there, comfortable and content in his robe. You’re getting out several pans, taking things out of the fridge. Making breakfast?

Perhaps he is a little caught off guard, though he doesn’t like to admit it. The scenery is wonderful, watching you so domestically work your way in his kitchen, in his clothes. He’d be a liar to say he’s never dreamed of what it would look like. But why? Why is it happening now? Why are you here?

When you turn around, you’re smiling, tutting at him while you wave a finger. ‘It’ll take more than that to scare me, a-yuan. Is this what happens when you retire? You’re losing your edge!’

He blinks. Once, twice. Since when do you call him such an endearing title? Since when is he retired?

You focus on getting things together for breakfast. ‘You’re up earlier than usual,’ you tell him, ‘so breakfast isn’t ready yet. But you can make yourself useful and feed the kids, okay?’

The kids. The kids? Jing Yuan has no choice but to admit he isn’t sure what’s happening anymore. He doesn’t recall ever having children- and with you? No, that’s something he’d remember.

Over the course of the day, Jing Yuan learns several things. The first is that ‘the kids’ refers not to human children but animal- you both have quite the collection. A handful of cats and dogs and several exotic birds. There are ducks and chickens in the back garden.

The second thing he learns is that he is married to you, and the third thing is that he is, in fact, retired. Fu Xuan is the general, and his young disciple, Yanqing, is no longer so young. He’s an adult now, making his way up the ranks with the speed and efficiency Jing Yuan always expected of him.

The last thing he learns is that this is all terrifyingly real- too complex to be a dream- but it is not his.

The first thing that comes to mind, of course, is to find a way back home. But it gets harder and harder to do so as he has to play his role of house husband with you. And this- this is something that aches. Because deep down it’s really a dream come true- this true love bloomed domesticity, shared with you. The way you look at him, your matching rings, your kiss on his cheek and hands around his waist. Affection is like second nature between the two of you, and Jing Yuan knows this not only in your examples but because if this was real, if this was his and he had you, he would do nothing else but kiss you and hold you all the time.

Jing Yuan is duty bound, though there are times he wish it wasn’t so. He has to find a way back to his home, because back home, his people still need him. Fu Xuan isn’t ready to be general yet, and Yanqing isn’t grown up. There are things he needs to do, but oh, to be selfish. To be in love with you and not worry about a thing- perhaps this is an enemies mind game, their attempt at torture. It’s certainly working.

The first week he shares with you, Jing Yuan smiles and kisses your cheek goodnight, knowing it is his role to do so, but things never go farther than that. He never holds you for too long, he never kisses your lips unless you ask him to.

He breaks your heart. After a week has passed and you’re getting ready for bed, your expression is breaking as you hold his hand and ask him what’s wrong. Why won’t he kiss you? Why won’t he touch you? Your love is too strong for something so unexpected. Too strong for secrets.

Jing Yuan is a weak man at heart. He cannot bear with hurting you, so for the time that’s allowed, he loves you. It’s a terrifying thing, because this Jing Yuan has never indulged in you before, and you are expecting someone who’s well versed in your strings. He hasn’t kissed these lips, not truly, and he hasn’t held you tight enough to appreciate your form. He is mind numbing tender with you the first night he gives in, and every night after that.

It’s almost shameful to admit that it’s better than he imagined it to be- because yes, he imagined. As previously mentioned, he is a weak man, and his mind wanders and dwells on things he cannot have. But here, he has you, and he is determined to not waste it. And if he rocks your world more intensely than usual because this sex isn’t dulled by repetition, it’s brand new; then he is happy to give that to you. You deserve every lick of pleasure you get and more.

He doesn’t know how to let it all go. When the opportunity presents itself to go back home- the man he came here as wouldn’t have hesitated. But the man he is now, changed by your touch, hesitates. He is duty bound nevertheless, and despite his own needs and wants, his hesitation, he goes back. He has to.

Waking up in his own universe is almost… pathetic. He looks around his room and realizes how empty it is, void of a life well lived in it. Your presence lifted everything up. Now, everything is stale.

Another heartbreak for something that was never his in the first place. He isn’t sure how much more he can take.

#listened to a song and got motivated heehee #don’t worry he seeks u out in his tl probably and asks u out (SAYING NO IS NOT AN OPTION)#imagine u try and decline and he looks like he’s abt to CRY (unknowing to him) so u scramble and ur like I MEAN - YES!#you WILL be married #jing yuan x reader #hsr x reader #jing yuan reader insert #reader insert #honkai star rail #angst #jing yuan angst #Jing Yuan

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generalsmemories · 5 months

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Ginkgo leaves

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ based on the ask: Since reqs are open, you think you could write jing yuans reaction to his lover being Mara-struck? Thank you! - requested by anonymous

✧ contents: established relationship, angst, hurt/almost no comfort lmfao, implied character death, mentions of other characters, pov mostly written in jing yuan's pov, still usage of 2nd pov (referring the reader as you), mayhaps ooc because jing yuan is an emotional wreck.

✧ a/n: when i tell ya'll i legit struggled to be able to write this entire thing. there's been like 3-4 scrapped drafts because halfway through writing i would just NOT be satisfied with the result. to the anon who requested this, i'm so sorry it took this long - but i hope the upcoming trainwreck makes up for it! a trainwreck im still not actually satisfied with LMFAO. but it's better than the other 5 scrapped works. also not beta-read so fellas if u see a spelling error - no you didn't.

p.s: some mara-struck information i give here are totally fanmade for the purpose of this fic alone, as such don't take whatever i write about mara here as what actually happens canonically to characters (then again most of the playable characters have different symptoms of mara themselves).

"Benefactor, am I correct to believe you're asking me if the general has any specific interests?" Tingyun asks with a snicker, the trailblazer looking away from her prying eyes while mumbling a quiet yes.

"Some of the younger... Can I call them younger? Anyway, some of the younger Xianzhou citizens are very infatuated with the general. Seeing as I've been announced as his honory guest, they do often come and ask me various things to try and gain his favor. So yeah, anything at this point will work - so please!" the trailblazer hurriedly explained, clasping their hands together in a desperate attempt to get anything from the foxian amicassador leaning back with a quirked eyebrow.

"Ahh, love truly makes someone go blind doesn't it," she muses out loud, the trailblazers' eyebrow furrowing together in confusion over the foxian's lady choice of words, "... You're not entirerely wrong with that statement..."

"Do you want to know what his favorite flower is?" Tingyun asks, ignoring the confused question that had been uttered to her, snapping her fan open to hide the cheeky smile that spread across her lips - but anyone could still tell that her eyes were gleaming with mischief as the trailblazer nodded their head.

"He doesn't have one."

"Then why did you even-"

"But he likes ginkgo leaves."

The trailblazers' eyes widened in shock, and rightfully so because the very thing ginkgo leaves are associated with are after all...

"He had a lover once, and as far as I'm aware, his last moment with them while they still had their consciousness intact was surrounded by ginkgo leaves."

Jing Yuan whilst having forgotten almost every single moment with you, does unfortunately remember the exact details of the day that your descent into madness started. Because what he witnessed wasn't a futile struggle you had with yourself to not to destroy everything within your vicinity. Instead, he witnessed the slow process of your bright self becoming an empty shell, only capable of uttering a few words.

It's comical really, even when faced with a curse that struck everyone mad - he found out that it oddly fit your character to not go mad, but instead become the complete opposite of your gentle self. A hollow shell of the person he fell in love with all centuries ago.

Jing Yuan knew he had to end your suffering right then and there when you first started to show signs.

But he couldn't - This wasn't something that had to be immediately dealt with, his hand wasn't forced like it was back when he had to slay his own master down before she took more lives.

No, this was a normal afternoon on what would've been another normal, mundane day in both of your lives. But everything went wrong the moment Jing Yuan heard the breaking of glass, and how there was a lone gingko leaf inside the palm of your hand - a ginkgo leaf that you were staring wide-eyed at with a trembling hand.

You were too far from the veranda to have a ginkgo leaf in your hand.

General Jing Yuan would've ended your suffering the moment you turned around to lock eyes with him, your own face twisted into one of utter fear.

General Jing Yuan would've reported you the to Ten-Lords Commissions as the law had stated. But Jing Yuan couldn't - because Jing Yuan knew that the moment he did, he would never see you again.

So he decided for once he would be selfish. Jing Yuan rarely made choices lately that was based off of his own feelings, but his time with you was cut too harshly, so once again he chooses to be selfish. Even if that meant that it would prolong your suffering just a tiny bit more. "... We can figure something out," was the only thing he could muster up the courage to say with a shaking voice. You didn't say anything, your mouth wobbling a tiny bit and your breathing getting harsher by the second.

But still you indulged him - you always did. So with an equally wobbly smile, you only nodded your head slightly, "... Sure."

That wobbly smile and expression of utter fear was the last genuine expression that truly came from yourself.

The descent to becoming fully mara-struck is usually a fast process, the curse able to completely overtake someone's mind within the same day the symptoms appears - rendering the person completely vulnerable with the only alternative to either hand themselves in to the Ten-Lords or wait for the Ten-Lords to come to them personally.

Your usual easy-going smile was gone, in its stead was eyes that kept going in and out of focus. Almost as if you were desperately trying to keep yourself grounded - a battle you both knew would end with your defeat.

Jing Yuan didn't dare to venture outside of the house. One step out and every Cloud Knight would've been on you within seconds to subdue you. He had first initially resorted to just holding you within his arms for as long as he could, to be able to remember how you felt like after your death.

But with the minimal strength you had left, you had wobbled to the garden, every step taken only making you pant heavily. But even with heavy breaths of air leaving your lips, you had refused to take Jing Yuans hand or offer to even carry you out to the garden. When you had managed to reach the ginkgo tree standing tall at the center of the garden, Jing Yuan was sure you were going to collapse in front of it, taking a quick step to catch you.

But instead you had merely reached your hands up, the falling leaves fluttering gently down onto your palms. And while you were in indescriable pain for the last couple of hours - Jing Yuan could only see a serene expression when you looked up at the ginkgo leaves that were continously falling down.

"... They're beautiful... aren't they... Jing Yuan? It's almost a pity... that these beautiful... leaves are associated with our doom," you said softly. Jing Yuan could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you uttered his name.

You're obviously struggling to convey whatever thoughts you still had to him properly, taking a moment in between words to catch your breath, eyebrows furrowed slightly as you fought against the searing pain that was spreading through every nerve in your body.

There's a sudden gust of wind which causes the pile of leaves in your hands to flutter away from your grasp. Your hand stretches out slightly, almost in an attempt to reach out for them - stumbling a bit in your step. The limp causes Jing Yuan to take a quick step forward with his arms outstretched. Perhaps seeing him in your peripheral vision causes you to stop the futile attempt to catch the escaping leaves, arms going limp against your side as you turn to face him - your once blank expression turning into a somber smile instead.

Jing Yuan thinks that it's unfair how normal you look in front of him - almost as if you haven't been becme mara-struck. Like nothing has happened to you aside from the ginkgo leaves fluttering from your lips whenever you cough. The same cough that causes the general of Luofu to flinch every time - without fail.

And perhaps you can see his inner turmoil, the way he tries to make eye contact with you, but is unable to after a few seconds. The way his hands clench too hard into fist to the point droplets of blood fall down to the grass and stains it a deep red while he bites his own lips to not say a word - lest he says something that he will regret.

And you truly wish that you could tell him everything is okay like you usually do.

But for the first time since the day he lost his friends, you can't.

"... I'm sorry," you finally say, the apology making him whip his head up to you again. Mouth opening to say something to comfort you, to tell you that it's not your fault. But the words are unable to leave his mouth when he sees your arms slightly outstretched towards him with a small smile.

And he can't hold it in anymore.

It only takes him a few wide steps to reach you from his position before he cradles you within his arms. The grip is tight, unbearably tight to the point it hurts, but you don't complain. You're limp in his hold, and if this was any day he wouldn't comment, but the fact that you're not moving a single muscle terrifies Jing Yuan to the core. "... Please," he finally manages to whisper, the rustling of ginkgo leaves around you almost drowning out his quiet plea.

"Please don't make me do this again."

He doesn't ask if the tensing of your body is caused by the pain that's rapidly increasing or if it's caused by his silent confession. He can however feel the gentle hand that rests against the lower part of his back and your head resting against the side of his own. The reassurance you try to give him does nothing to help because he's aware that it probably brought you unmeasurable pain to try to move those limbs - instead the general buries his face closer to your neck and squeezes you tighter.

"... You won't." you whisper quietly.

It takes a moment for Jing Yuan to process the meaning behind those two words.

But it's a moment too late, because before he can get his phone out to usher a command, a few resounding knocks can be heard throughout the quiet mansion.

"General Jing Yuan. This is Xueyi of the Ten-Lords commission. I've gotten information that there's currently a mara-struck within these premises."

Jing Yuan feels his blood run cold, he pulls himself away from you to stare at you properly in disbelief.

You're still staring at him with the same somber expression, however he can tell there's a small pitiful smile grazing your lips, "I'm sorry," you whisper once again.

"I asked her... personally," you start, finally letting yourself rest now that the end is near, slumping down onto Jing Yuan's chest, your ear settling itself against his heart to hear his rapid heartbeats.

Jing Yuan loathes the fact that it's at this moment, with the Ten-Lords commission outside of your door and with him completely broken do you actually look at peace - like your battle against time has finally come to its conclusion.

And naturally, the one who lost is you.

"Half a day... with you. Then she would come and bring me there. You won't have to... do this again."

You're not able to see Jing Yuan's face - and Jing Yuan wouldn't want you to see how he looked like right now. The arms around you is trembling, his mind is racing - trying to come up with anything to give him a bit more time with you.

But for once, the general that had a plan for every situation had nothing in mind.

He's lost. And the prize of the loss this time is losing you forever.

"General, I apologize for the rudeness of what I'm about to do, but this is for both of your safety," Jing Yuan hear Xueyi mutter from outside of the door, before he hears the rattling of the door frame start to slide open.

"Wait- no," it's a quiet request that gets ignored as Xueyi strides in alone, the lack of company making Jing Yuan's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"... Their last request along with the request for my late arrival here was for the Cloud Knights to not see you like this. Naturally I won't tell anyone of what I've seen today."

Jing Yuan doesn't care about that, he could care less about his image right now, pulling you closer to him while his eyes are downcast - he makes no move to hand you over to the judge.

The puppet judge before him does not say anything - nor does she make a move. What she does however is wait, wait for the general before her that has been utterly crushed and broken by the person in his arms start to accept the harsh truth once again.

If he doesn't handle the mara-struck himself, someone else would - but the end result only serves to punish him in the end, the one left behind.

Xueyi hears a silent breath be let out by the general, her once closed eyes opening up to see the general pull slightly away from you, one hand reaching up to cradle your cheek. Your eyes have long since closed, and you're most likely not even conscious to hear what he's about to say.

"My dear... I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. But I'm afraid you'll have to wait a bit longer before we can meet again," he whispers, bumping his forehead against your own gently, "I hope you won't fault me for that."

A long ginkgo leaf flutters right between the two of you, eventually settling down on your chest.

Jing Yuan sucks in one last deep breath, "I'm sorry I kept you here for so long - I'm sorry you had to be in pain for so long because of me," he leans in to slot his lips one last time over your own, whispering something that Xueyi can't hear before he rises up, your body limp in his arms.

"Thank you for your service Miss Xueyi, please see them off appropiately." Jing Yuan says, voice sounding eerily calm - almost like his usual self.

When he turns around to finally face her, the puppet's lifeless eyes seem to grow a bit in surprise. Before her is the general of Luofu, his usual easy-going smile present on his lips.

Like he wasn't carrying his mara-struck lover in his arms.

"As much as I would want to accompany you to see them off, I'm afraid I have some urgent matters to attend to," he informs, handing your body over to Xueyi - she doesn't comment on how his hands are still slightly trembling or how he immediately turned a bit to the side to ignore staring at her head-on.

Even though Xueyi doesn't want to ask, she still asks either way, "What are your plans from here on, general?"

Jing Yuan only gives her a close eyed smile, turning his gaze towards the large ginkgo tree with his hands behind his back. He gnaws a tiny bit at his lips, finally breathing out.

A couple of seconds passes by before he opens his mouth.

"I think I'll meditate a bit under this tree before heading back to the Seat. I can't leave Luofu without me for too long after all."

5 SCRAPPED WORKS AND I'M STILL NOT ACTUALLY THAT SATISFIED BUT IF I KEEP THIS PIECE LONGER IN THE WORKS THE MORE I'LL BUTCHER IT SO HAHA - THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO AFTER 3 MONTHS OF CONSTANT BACK AND FORTH FELLAS. I HOPE IT SQUEEZED YOUR HEART A TINY BIT NONETHELESS.

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr imagines #star rail x reader #star rail imagines #star rail x you #honkai star rail angst #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan #jing yuan angst

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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 6 months

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the general of the luofu has a habit you've picked up on. a habit in which when he finds himself in a place of predicament, he will gracefully place his hands atop each other at the small of his back. that is why you also decided to develop a similar habit of standing just slightly behind him.

never when you had first relocated from a separate xianzhou alliance ship to the luofu's exalting sanctum did you imagine you'd be standing within the seat of divine foresight on a near regular basis. of course, the notion was not unheard of since it is the office of general jing yuan, but then again you hadn't expected yourself to eventually be working so close to him either.

working nearly in step with jing yuan was not in your relocation papers. when you first arrived and he was always on your heels, it nearly made you lose your cool more than you'd care to admit. the way he would just smile your lack of alone time off irked you further. you figured he was just doing it because he could, because no one would demand the general to knock it off aside from the master diviner and- more often than not- her nags were brushed aside unless absolutely dire.

but with that same, insufferable smile and persistence of his, jing yuan did what he did best and used it to his advantage until you were absolutely smitten with him, and he knew it.

you had attempted moving your work to central starskiff haven where all the hustle and bustle of the main hub for all things imaginable could take your mind off the dozing general, but it was a useless feat.

the bond between general jing yuan and yourself was something precious yet unnamed. it was seen and noticed, but you both refused to adapt to the way of labels- another thing jing yuan had a habit of. superstition about labels and them ruining everything he holds dear to him was a belief he had yet to be proven wrong.

the labeling and eventual tragic fall out of the high cloud quintet was more than enough proof for him. he would not risk you slipping away from him if he were to try and repeat the mistake. jing yuan was more thankful than you could ever imagine when you told him you understood.

"labeling a relationship with you, general, would surely bring unwanted gossip."

a rather poor excuse to try and ease his mind, since you both would float around each other's orbit, but it still worked nonetheless. thus, the nameless, labelless, and unspoken relationship that everyone aboard the Luofu knew about grew.

"he's like a weed," you had told fu xuan when she was once again pleading with you to try and convince him to do his job behind his desk and not run around avoiding it. once successfully coerced, fu xuan admitted she had no idea how you could withstand his stubbornness. "he's persistent and tough to get rid of. i just kind of let him be after getting too tired of trying to fix my garden."

jing yuan was easily within earshot of the jab, whether you meant to hurt his ego or not, you did bruise it. how could you not when you were calling him a weed just 20 feet away from the very desk he was confined to?

time can be both noticed and unnoticed by long-life species. on one hand, the passing of time seems so endless it just flits by seamlessly. 100, 200 years are nothing short of youth to them. until you reach the gate of older age where you then worry about when the mara will eventually strike.

jing yuan did not speak much of his past to you, and you never found a reason to harp and pry on it. you knew more than enough from texts and scrolls recorded in the halls you were fortunate enough to work in; no need to reopen old wounds he is too stubborn to admit still bleed.

the general who cares for the luofu cannot decide if he fears being stricken with mara himself and slowly losing his sense of identity to the point he cannot recognize you, or you being marked as an enemy for him to strike down because the mara struck you first more. should the former ever come to pass, he has faith that what needs to be done will be and you will stay safe with yanqing.

now, as you stand in the seat of divine foresight with the newly arrived trailblazers from the express also occupying the office with jing yuan, you notice his hands neatly folded behind him.

a slight advantage to the many layers of clothes he puts himself through dressing every day is that his two-tailed half-cape that rested on his shoulders and flowed down to his hips can offer some peripheral coverage.

like clockwork, when you noticed his hands placed in the small of his back, you took half a step closer to his diagonal and placed the pads of your fingers in the middle of his open palm. his fists would never fully curl behind his back, left open and lazily sitting on top of each other.

jing yuan's shoulders would drop just a fraction- hardly noticeable to anyone even if they were looking directly at him- every time you did so. the tips of your fingers were warm, a reminder of the present and also a teether to not let his mind wander too far.

he could feel the callouses on them, the rough skin so accustomed to battle ingrained into the skin of your hands and it brought him such comfort. his eyes gently shut and a smile lifts his lips, not one to mask behind, but one brought about naturally.

and just like always, when he felt your fingertips push lightly into his palm, his hand opened further, fingers pulling apart before he was curling them into yours.

yes, the general of the luofu has a habit you've picked up on. but he has also picked up a new habit of waiting for you to hold his hand when they're behind his back.

#jing yuan #jing yuan fluff #jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail jing yuan #jing yuan x y/n #honkai star rail #jing yuan blurb #jing yuan fic #hsr jing yuan #hsr #hsr fic #honkai star rail fic #honkai star rail fluff #jing yuan angst #jing yuan comfort #jing yuan hurt/comfort

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otterneuvillette · 5 months

Text

✧ HER HIGHNESS, MY DIVINE ! ✧

⋆⚡️— Pairings: jing yuan x fem! reader

⋆⚡️— Sypnosis: You are the oldest heir to the throne of the Xianzhou Luofu and as per tradition, you needed to find a spouse to rule the kingdom with, for diplomatic reasons. Jing Yuan seemed to oppose that.

⋆⚡️ — content: fem! reader, jealous jing yuan, and angst (slight Dan Feng x reader.)

⋆⚡️ — A/N: You and jing yuan had grown up together, he was assigned to you when the two of you were 17.

Also life has been very busy rn, so part two will happen but it'll take a while.

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“I will dispose of him for you,” Jing Yuan says, on his knees in front of you. His hands are rough, but so gentle as they clasp your hand.

“Your Highness, please, it is of little consequence to me. I would rot in prison if you asked me to.”

He doesn’t care that he’s been reduced to begging. He cannot stand to let you marry that man. You’re the heir of the Xianzhou Luofu, you should deserve someone better. As your knight, Jing Yuan only wants the best for you.

"There's no reason for you to do so, This is only marriage for the benefit of the kingdom, it is my duty. I will be fine, my dear knight."

Your silk-gloved hands covered his in a soothing manner.

"It will be okay." You whispered softly.

"As you wish, Your Highness,” Jing Yuan said, but he was clearly not at ease with your decision. He keeps his mouth shut and his hands at his sides.

You can't see the tension in his shoulders. He knows it’s not his place to interfere in the affairs of the empire, but he wants nothing more than to protect you from your impending marriage to the Imbibitor Lunae.

Jing Yuan would do anything for you.

You only have to ask.

"I may be blind to some things, my knight. But I'm not blind to the fact that you are concerned about this matter. Be at ease, my knight, there is no need for you to worry."

Your hand ruffled through his soft snowy hair at his kneeled position. Jing Yuan's whole being relaxes. Any tension he held within himself melts away like sunlight melting fresh snow in spring. Your touch is pure magic.

His knighthood is both an honor and his entire world. He has dedicated his life to your service... but your touch makes him forget about that for a moment. He is your best friend, first and foremost.

Your eyes crinkled as your eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, My knight, My Jing Yuan. Please do not feel anguish, There's still a chance for you to serve another princess...maybe one of my sisters?"

Sighing softly, your gloved hands retract from his hair and rest on your lap.

Jing Yuan shakes his head firmly.

"I...I cannot serve any princess like I serve you," he tells you. "To serve anyone else would be an insult, Your Highness."

It is his duty to be a knight, you see, but it is more than that for Jing Yuan. You are his world. He cannot imagine spending the rest of his life serving another.

"I only want to serve you," he tells you softly.

"Now, don't be like that, my knight. I will not let you wallow in your sorrow because of me."

"I cannot help but feel sorrow, Your Highness," He explains. He takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.

"But you are right… I cannot let that get in the way of my duty to you. No matter what comes next, I will remain faithful to you."

He stands up, finally, and offers you a slight bow.

"My sword is yours to command, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan's expression is resolute.

"But, If I cannot serve you, I will serve no one," he says. "There is no other princess whose life matters to me. I am your loyal knight, and your loyal knight you will always have."

Jing Yuan will not be swayed by your wishes. He will not leave your side and serve some other princess.

You sighed, your frame shivering by the coldness of the royal hall, cold and empty.

"Stand, my knight." You whispered.

JIng Yuan stands up quickly.

"Yes, Your Highness."

He is standing at attention, ready to hear your next wish. Anything you want. He will follow all your orders, even if you wish to marry another, he will stand by your side.

It is his life's purpose. His raison d'etre.

"Please call upon my lady-in-waiting. I must prepare for dinner with Lord Dan Feng tonight."

You leaned against the armrest of the throne for support as you stood, the thick fur coat weighed heavily on your shoulders.

"And please....be on your best behavior, Jing Yuan."

"At once."

He left, and after a few moments, he returned.

Jing Yuan bowed deeply as he stepped in front of you.

"Is there anything else Your Highness requires?" He asks.

"I'll be heading to my chambers."

Your steps were light and quiet against the floor. The sleeves and the ends of your hanfu brushed against the smooth marble floor.

"Oh, and please tell the maids and chefs to get the dining hall ready for dinner at once."

You adjust the fur coat over yourself to protect your body from the cold and you let out a sigh.

You walk towards the doors of the throne room, feeling a heavy weight on your shoulder.

"It will be done, Your Highness," Jing Yuan replies. His voice is formal, but there is a clear pride and reverence in it. He serves you and is happy to be your knight.

Jing Yuan watches you as you walk down the length of the hall. Even as you leave his line of sight, your back is still straight, your steps proud, your beauty… unmatched.

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Your maid and chefs have quickly turned the dining hall into a place worthy of Lord Dan Feng.

You are seated at the head of the grand table. With Jing Yuan lingering near the door, but still close to you. Servants bustle around the room in preparation for the main course of the evening, but your head chef serves you and Lord Dan Feng a meal of various dishes of meats, vegetables, seasonal desserts, and sweet rice wine.

"Lord Dan Feng, I hope you enjoy the meal."

With elegant movements and a well-mannered way of talking, You started the conversation.

Dan Feng, known as Imbibitor Lunae was a feared emperor in his kingdom. Rumors spread across nations, for his strict and slightly unjust way of ruling.

He had sharp ears, as well as teal horns. A son of a Vidyadhara indeed. But he was beautiful, with a tall, slender figure with black hair, fair skin, and agate green eyes, enhanced by the red eyeliner that underlined them.

He was draped in a green and gold hanfu, paired the the black fur that was once from a magnificent beast that was a disturbance from his kingdom the Scalegorge Waterscape.

"Your Royal Highness, the food in your kingdom is as exquisite as I remembered."

The two of you make polite small talk as you eat your meal. Dan Feng is the first to return to the main topic.

"Your Royal Highness," he asks, as your servants fill the two of you’s glasses. "What is your impression of our latest round of negotiations with your neighboring kingdom?"

"It has been well executed. Our kingdom's affairs will be settled at a much faster and smoother pace now."

Dan Feng nods, accepting your response.

"Indeed. Our kingdom's harmony will only advance from here onwards."

Dan Feng's face becomes serious. He puts his glass down.

"It is a great honor to be invited to your table." His voice is low and measured.

"But I would be a fool to not think about what this dinner could mean for the future." He takes a sip of his wine.

"We have talked business. Now, I would like to talk of union."

Jing Yuan's grip on the sheath of his blade tightened.

"Yes, I've been wanting to talk about that."

Your frame sat straighter, as you examined Dan Feng's expression, he had a sly smirk on his lips and his vibrant eyes looking into yours.

Your rose-colored lips curled into a soft smile after you took a sip from your wine.

"A marriage between our kingdoms would secure a political alliance the likes of which has not been seen by our nation in decades."

He leans closer towards you.

"I wish to have an empress, who is as radiant and wise as you. If our kingdom joined together, the entire world will tremble."

He reaches out to your hand and takes it into his own with a gentle touch.

Jing Yuan felt his jealousy coiling around his heart like a serpent.

Dan Feng has made a direct and deliberate show of his intentions. Not only is this dinner a display of his political strengths, it is also a declaration of his intent to marry you.

Jing Yuan watches this exchange from his station by the door. He cannot hide his jealousy… or his anger.

His eyes are fixed upon you, his princess, his every sense alert to any threats that may come your way.

"I am flattered, Your Grace. Thank you for your sweet words." You were flustered, trying to keep composure.

Dan Feng leans in closer. He seems to be studying you, but it does not feel like an inspection as he looks over your face, your hair, your hands. It feels like you may be the most important, most beautiful thing in the room.

Finally, he leans closer, your breath catches in your throat.

All you can hear are the quiet whispers of the servants, the crackling of the fire....

And Jing Yuan's armor clinking as he moves.

You notice Dan Feng's gaze on you, studying your face like someone who has already decided what they wants to do. He is direct and leaves no room for uncertainty. His words are simple, yet his message is made clear: he wants you to be his wife.

"Lord Dan Feng, I believe this would be inappropriate to do before marriage." You whispered, breathing quite heavily.

It was clear that you were put off by the close distance. The smell of the sickly sweet wine and the scent that Dan Feng had, made your head spin.

"My apologies for my forwardness, Your Highness," Dan Feng replies quickly. Jing Yuan can practically feel in insincerity of Dan Feng's words as his temper boils within him.

"I meant nothing by it."

Dan Feng is a gentleman when he wants to be. He pulls away, leaving the smallest bit of space between you. He is no longer trying to make physical contact.

He has learned to control his emotions and is once again calm and collected.

"The marriage is to be arranged soon," Dan Feng adds, "It will be of benefit to our people."

You nodded.

"It will, I hope this will bring prosperity to our kingdoms."

A small smile plays across Dan Feng's lips. His eyes remain on you.

"I see what my advisors have said is true. You are beautiful and wise."

His words are like poison to Jing Yuan's ears.

"Our unions will be fruitful. Together, we will lead this world into a new age."

His words are laced with honey. His gaze never breaks from yours.

Jing Yuan's jaw clenches.

The two of you continued eating in silence, enjoying the atmosphere as the royal bards were singing a tune. A few cups of wine later, Jing Yuan could see the color spreading across your cheeks, you were never a heavy drinker.

Dan Feng was eyeing you from across the table, like a prize that he needed to grab and keep for himself. The fact that you failed to notice it made Jing Yuan even more possessive.

Dan Feng leaned closer yet again, seemingly wanting to kiss you.

Jing Yuan couldn't stand it anymore. He stood next to you, a gentle and possessive gesture.

"Your Grace," His voice is gentle yet firm, "I believe that Her Highness said that close contact is not appropriate before marriage."

He said that with a mocking tone.

His eyes are focused on the man beside you, who has taken such liberties in his conduct with you, His princess. Dan Feng seems unfazed as he meets your knight's gaze. Jing Yuan wants to strangle this man for his audacity.

"Please refrain from doing anything to Her Highness, or I will-"

"Jing Yuan."

You said in a warning tone.

"At ease."

Jing Yuan snaps to attention immediately upon hearing your voice.

"Your Highness," he bows his head deeply.

He will not let a single thought in his mind or emotion escape his body unless you, his princess allow it.

He stares daggers at Dan Feng, but his expression remains neutral…. but any outside could see the burning, lethal gaze in his eyes. Jing Yuan will not dare say a single word out of turn again.

A servant refills Dan Feng's wine.

Dan Feng drinks deeply and grins wolfishly at your knight.

"I see that you care deeply for the Princess," he says with a sneer, looking over at Jing Yuan. "Your service to her is admirable."

Your Knight stares right back, expressionless.

"I hope you do not mind me being so close." Dan Feng leans towards you again, his green eyes fixed on your face. His voice is sweet, like honey, but the threat in his words is clear.

Jing Yuan does not answer.

He is clearly upset, angry, and jealous at the sight of this man. This man, who is trying to steal you from him.

He stands by your side, unmoving, trying his best to hide his emotions… not only from you but from himself.

His loyalty will never falter, but he wants this man to go away, Jing Yuan gets the impression that Dan Feng doesn't like him either.

The glint in Dan Feng's eyes irked him.

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"It's getting late, Lord Dan Feng. Would you like for my maids to prepare a room for you?"

Dan Feng smiles, and puts his glass down.

"Why, thank you, your Highness."

He rises from the table, and bows his head.

"Please, allow me to spend one more night as a guest of the Xianzhou Luofu. I will be on my way tomorrow before dawn."

He gives you a little wink, which you notice, and so does Jing Yuan, who can only give Dan Feng a death glare.

"Then, I'll let my maids see you to it."

Dan Feng is taken away to a guest bedroom.

Your knight stands next to you, looking out the large window into the darkness.

Finally, he clears his throat.

"Your Highness." He whispers. His body language is stiff, almost as if he wants his jealousy to be noticed. It is difficult for him to contain his emotions, but he cannot allow himself to say words that may bring harm to you.

"Could we speak in private?" He says quickly.

But that made you even more agitated.

"What happened back there?!"

Jing Yuan was surprised by the tone of your voice.

"He's trying to seduce you, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan is angry, his arms crossed, his body tense.

He's not sure how to process what has happened. His mind is spinning as he tries to remain calm and professional for your sake.

"He was being…inappropriate. If it were anyone else, I would have removed them from your presence myself."

He is talking as little as he can, in calming his anger.

"That doesn't mean you have to threaten him like that! Did you forget who he is?!" You whisper-shouted.

"His Grace is a guest, Your Highness."

Jing Yuan's face is full of conflicting emotions. He is worried for you, angry at Dan Feng, but even so, he does not want to risk harm upon to you or your kingdom by acting against Dan Feng.

He is used to keeping his emotions in check. But it's almost painful for him not to go over to Dan Feng and throw him out of your palace with his own two hands.

"I cannot allow some foreign prince to touch you so freely, to gaze at you with such lust and hunger…"

Jing Yuan's voice trails off.

"And he is going to be my wedded husband by contract! Do you know the consequences if you harmed him, our nations would go to war !" You exclaimed.

"Yes, I'm aware, Your Highness."

His face is blank, but his heart is full of turmoil.

He hates having to stand by as some foreign prince takes such liberties with the woman he loves.

But he cannot betray your trust. He will not defy your orders.

The knight turns back to you, eyes darting between your face, the floor, and the windows… anything to avoid looking at your face directly.

"Your Highness," Jing Yuan's voice is tense and formal. "May I ask why you are… entertaining his advances?

You sighed, your body seemed to deflate like a balloon.

"Because I thought that maybe, it would assure me that he wouldn't back out from this agreement."

Jing Yuan's face twitches in confusion.

"Your Highness, are you saying you… do not want this marriage?"

His tone and face are utterly blank, but you can tell that he is surprised by your admission.

He clears his throat, hoping to move this subject of conversation into more acceptable terrain.

"Why would he back out of this arrangement? This marriage would benefit both kingdoms, this is simply a political decision. You have no intention of… becoming close with him?"

"The kingdoms' safety is paramount and my hands are tied politically. But you must understand that… I need this marriage to happen. I cannot let the sacrifices of my parents go in vain."

You swiftly avoided his question.

There is a deep conflict in your heart. "I have to marry him. It's the only way this kingdom would survive."

"Little finch," you feel Jing Yuan's eyes burning into you. Your knight yearns to touch you, to kiss you, to hug you. His desire becomes more and more apparent. But he knows this is not the way. He is to be your knight, your protector, nothing more.

But the way you put it so clearly. Your marriage is necessary to keep your kingdom safe. He understands the importance of your duty… but even more so than that… He wants you to be happy and he knows this marriage is the opposite of happiness.

You chuckled sadly. "You haven't called me that in years."

"Just please, Jing Yuan. You have been my best friend since we were 17. Please understand how this means so much to me and this kingdom. It's my responsibility as the oldest heir."

You've never seen Jing Yuan so… sad before.

He's always been disciplined and has never let his emotions get the better of him. But this… this is hurting him greatly.

He takes a deep breath and then looks up at you.

"I will not stand in the way of your marriage, Your Princess."

He kneels before you and puts his head down, letting his hair fall forward. His expression was steady but his voice wasn't.

"The interests of the Kingdom come before my personal affairs."

"Personal affairs? Jing Yuan, what do you mean by that?"

Jing Yuan remains focused on looking at the ground, his voice clear as he answers.

"Little finch, I have fallen in love with you," he says, the words falling from his lips as if it were no big deal, and yet, he feels it weigh upon him like the heaviest burden.

"The thought of you… marrying Dan Feng hurts me greatly. It pains me that I cannot offer you my love and honor in place of his."

There is a slight pause before he continues.

"And yet, I will not interfere."

"Jing Yuan, I— How long have you felt like this?" You stuttered.

"It started as a childish crush," Jing Yuan answers promptly, not bothering to look up from the ground.

You have never seen him show this much emotion around you before. You didn't think he knew how.

"But as time went on, these feelings… this love has only ever grown stronger. I can't put it into words, Your Highness!"

He shakes his head slightly, ashamed of his emotions.

"I will always protect you, to care for you as your best friend, and yet…my love for you is too much to ignore."

"When I saw him touch you... when he took your hand and stared at you... when he winked at you," Jing Yuan takes a deep breath.

"It made my blood boil."

"I wish I could give you everything. I wish I could give you my heart."

This statement rings in your ears louder than anything else before.

It's an admission of love and an admission of how painful it is for him not to be your lover.

"A knight has no reason to fall in love with his Princess. It is a betrayal of everything I am. But I cannot deny it," his voice drops to almost a whisper, but the sheer amount of emotion behind them carries the words far.

"My divine princess, I love you." He whispered.

Your gaze shot up to look at him as those words escaped his mouth,

"You probably will not see me as anything more than your knight, but I cannot deny my feelings. I want you to be happy, and I will continue my duty, but... I wanted to confess my love for you before you married Dan Feng."

✧✧✧⁠✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

Love.

The words burn in your ears as more and more emotion pours out of his words

He is not ashamed of his words. He does not hide his love from your eyes. He holds nothing back and tells you the truth.

Jing Yuan, your best friend loves you. He loves you so much.

And he will never be yours.

Your mind is spinning.

Does he think he has no chance with you? Or does he already know and is merely professing his love before it is too late?

"Jing Yuan." You let out a choked sob.

"I can't-"

Jing Yuan's heart breaks as you sob. He cannot help but place a hand on your shoulder.

The movement is gentle and careful, but you can feel his hand tremble slightly. His voice is soft, gentle even.

Pleading.

"My princess, you do not have to say anything. I just wanted… I just wanted to tell you how I felt before you married Dan Feng. That is all."

He looks down at the ground.

"I will not… I cannot be anything more, I know this. But I had to tell you…"

"…you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…the most wonderful person I have ever met," Jing Yuan whispers.

"I will cherish my time as your knight, as your best friend, until you no longer need my protection."

He bows his head deeply, looking at the floor.

"Your happiness…is my happiness. For as long as you allow my services, I will offer them gladly. Even if you marry Dan Feng and have heirs, I will still guard you," The sliver-haired man says, his voice still filled with emotion.

"Jing Yuan…." You were devastated, you couldn't process this, everything was happening so fast.

He seems to brace himself for the worst— for an outcry from you, for a scream or a slap, anything negative.

But you simply take his hand.

You take your knight's hand without a word.

"I understand…" Jing Yuan says quietly.

"It was selfish of me to tell you this when it will only hurt you, but I do not regret my words. Your happiness is my mission… your joy is my joy, and your sorrows are my sorrows."

He is utterly loyal to you, and you alone.

"You should go, I need a moment to myself." You said quietly.

He stares at you… looking into your eyes. It's impossible for him to look away.

"As you wish," he whispers, releasing your hand.

He stands, turning to walk out—but he takes a second before he leaves.

"Please know that… regardless of how this marriage pans out," Jing Yuan's voice drops to a whisper, "I will always be here for you. Whenever you need me, a whisper of my name is enough."

With this, your knight leaves, allowing you to collect your thoughts.

He just hoped that you wouldn't hate him after this.

✧✧✧⁠✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

#jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan angst #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #jing yuan fluff #honkai star rail fanfic #dan feng x reader #hsr x reader #hsr angst #hsr #hsr fanfic

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bsverryin · 9 months

Text

: ̗̀➛ Seeing HSR men with another woman

Who?

╰┈➤ Blade,Jing yuan, Gepard,

situation?

╰┈➤ Seeing them cheerful with another woman they never talked about.

✎ angst with comfort, they call you with nicknames, reader is insecure & sensitive but characters assures you!! HEAD CANNON'S ONLY!! Tbh the only reason why I thought about this was because I was replaced a few months later after a year of relationship (I wasn't assured enough bro😔) ,anyways enjoy reading, CANNOT ASSURE you of perfect grammar but I'm trying <3

: ̗̀➛ BLADE

Blade doesn't show his love that much and you understand, he wasn't the type to be all clingy with you. In fact you're the one who's really clingy and sensitive, so how could you ever survive being in a relationship with blade.? It's because he has a side that's only for you and only you can see. You're alone with him privately? He'd call you sweet names, You're taking care of him after fighting enemies? He'd kiss you after treating him. So then you thought how could blade talk with another woman looking CHEERFUL??

When blade came home that night, you weren't talking to him which was new to him, he didn't understand because whenever he entered the door, you'd always greet him with a big hug asking how his day was, or if he was hurt but today you were completely ignoring him, using your phone and sitting on the couch. He thought you didn't notice him so he buried his face on your neck and was about to kiss your cheeks but you stood up,looked at him then rolled your eyes.

You immediately entered your room, closing it with a loud bang. It's the only place where you won't see him because you don't sleep with each other. Minutes later you heard knocks on your door, You opened it revealing blade.

"Is there something wrong, Y/n?" He didn't call you by the nickname that he usually calls you with, you could see from his eyes that he's serious and worried if he did something wrong.

"No, goodnight." Was all that you could say because you knew if you told him about the thing you saw today, you'd be crying that's how sensitive you were, you closed the door after saying those words.

After what you said, he didn't talk for awhile but you heard footsteps all the time, it was blade that couldn't calm himself down thinking if he did something that hurts you, Finally you heard another knock on your door.

"Y/N, love? Please open your door. Let's talk about what's bothering you." It was the first time hearing those words from him! You immediately opened the door letting him in, you sat on your bed while he sat beside you.

"What's our problem?" Those words were so soft-spoken, it was your first time hearing those from him.

"Who was the girl that you're talking to earlier?" You looked around and around but him. It was an awkward situation and you didn't know what to do.

"The girl earlier? I don't remember.." He was silent for awhile then finally he realized what you were talking about.

"Y/N love, please don't take it the wrong way, you're the only one i love." He said as he held your hand.

"But you looked cheerful around her, who was she exactly?" You still didn't look at him but you let him hold your hand.

"It was for a mission, Love. She was associated with the enemy that stellaron hunters have been trying to find, I'm just fooling with her love, and who knows? I might just kill her in the end."

And you turn yourself in! You couldn't get mad at blade for that long because he's trying his best and it's rare whenever he's lovey-dovey to you, he ended up sleeping at your room and who knows what happened in that long night you spent with him.

: ̗̀➛ GEPARD

Seeing Gepard with another woman is not rare, it happens everyday because he's a captain always walking around belobog to ensure the citizens safety!! But today was different. He was Cheerful towards the woman he just saved, he wasn't blushing but he's smiling a lot. It reminds you of when you first dated each other he has that beautiful smile and looks really cheerful towards you but he doesn't have to be like that with another woman, right? or that's what you thought.

Gepard saw you looking at him and the woman he was talking to, he was about to leave to go to you but the woman in front of him stopped him and started acting shy while playing with her own hair, which you hated of course! You gave him a bad look while he felt bad that he couldn't come to you, you ran away after that.

A few days had passed and you didn't talk to him, whenever you see him patrolling you run away and avoid him as much as you can. He couldn't run after you because that woman is just always wherever he was and the fact that Gepard wasn't trying enough to get close to you hurts you the most. Which leads you into thinking that he maybe tired of you or doesn't love you anymore.

But destiny had other plans, The first week of not talking to him and giving him silent treatment, avoiding him didn't end really well. You were at serval's workshop to help her out because sometimes when you have nothing to do you just go there, you told her about what happened and she said it would be impossible for Gepard to unlove you because of another woman, soon after she left you alone. Serval said she wanted to get some fresh air but the truth is she contacted Gepard to go come to her workshop because of an emergency but in reality you were just there and she wanted you both to fix your misunderstanding together.

Gepard entered her workshop, and he saw you. You couldn't run because you're still finishing something serval assigned you to do.

"where's serval?" Was that all you could say to him, it didn't even feel like you're dating him at this point, because you think that he just doesn't try to be with you enough.

"she's busy...doing something outside." He talks with little pauses. He looked like he wanted to talk about something but he couldn't bring himself to. You were about to finish and exit serval's workshop but when you were about to open the door to leave, Gepard hugged you from behind.

"Y/n,babe I'm sorry we weren't able to date as much as we did before" He said as he rested his chin on your shoulder from behind.

"It's not about that... You know I respect your busy schedule but..the girl" you couldn't continue your word because your tone kept getting shaky and shaky.

"She said she was a fan but I got mad earlier because she kept following me around." He said with his usual tone sounding very sincere.

"She looks...prettier. Maybe you'll feel happier with her." Gepard suddenly stopped hugging you from behind and stood in front of you.

"Y/n, I'm sorry if I made you think it like that but, there's no one else I can love but you. I love you and only you."

You cried as he hugged you, you just missed him so much and it was your first time not talking to him, that 1 week felt like hell but at least now the problem is solved, Serval soon returned saying she might've heard your conversation with Gepard. Gepard blushed while holding your hand as you gave him a peck on his cheeks.

: ̗̀➛ JING YUAN

Jing yuan is too beautiful to not be surrounded by women, He's always cheerful and smiling around everyone whatever their gender is because that is how he is and you're completely used to it but this time it's different. Someone that you're completely insecure about was inviting him over for dinner and her reason was it was for business purposes, who stupid would believe that? Well either way, jing yuan didn't refuse that woman's invitation.

You told him a lot of times that you both can have dinner instead but he just kept kissing you telling you it's alright it's all about business which made you REALLY sad because even if it's for business why do they have to do it in a dinner way? And why is it the person that you're insecure about? Jing yuan left for dinner and you ate alone. It's alright eating alone for sure but your lover eating with another woman?? You're getting angry,sad and insecure by just thinking about it. It felt like forever waiting for jing yuan to come back, you kept thinking what if they weren't just eating and doing something else? No that's impossible you thought. You keep on replaying in your mind whenever Jing yuan tells you that he loves you more than anything, it's just not enough.

When Jing yuan comes back to your home together, he looks for you and spots you on the couch on your phone. He immediately kissed you then told you how much he missed you and wished he just stayed to have dinner with you.

"So how was your dinner with that business woman?" You said it not in a nice way, more in an aggressive tone which he looked worried about afterwards.

"It was strictly business, my love. It actually made my head ache." He said as he sat beside you and laid his head on your shoulders.

"You should've stayed." You said as if you were annoyed by him, he looked at you with a regretful face, he looked cute without even trying that you suddenly blushed.

"Yes, you're right I should've stayed. I apologize, my love. I'll make it up to you hmm? Let's take a rest first?" You let him slide this time because he's just too precious in your eyes.

The next day, you decided to treat him out to a fancy restaurant, you told him you're the only woman who should EVER take him out for dinner, he chuckled whenever you talk and deny that you are jealous. You know damn well that this man will never ever replace you and will love you until the end.

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khuzena · 22 days

Text

Friends

Jing yuan x g/n!reader

Summary: The xianzhou citizens don't often indulge in romance, to love is to one day see yourself fall into the embrace of mara�� to let your lover witness it. Some still love, some deny themselves of such feelings.

Cw. Angst, unrequited love (not really), getting drunk, mixed signals, implied sexual stuff and a little bit of that but they don't actually do it (i think), no fluff no comfort because that shit is for the weak

A/n: Did I cry writing this? Yes. Was it worth it? I don't know.

Love.

noun

an intense feeling of deep affection.

He wonders if you ever noticed how he felt about you. Lingering gazes lasting deeper than it should, ‘accidental’ brushes against your hand or how he finds himself dropping everything he's doing just to be with you.

“Jing yuan, your move.”

Your words snap him back to reality, he awkwardly bit his lip, his focus back on the board. Right.

He wonders as he moves his piece two tiles forward, would you ever get wind of these growing feelings of his? If you did,

“Checkmate.”

Would you feel the same?

A light chuckle leaves his lips, the sight of your frustrated expression ingrained in his mind, like every memory he has of you.

A loud slam echoed in the room, “How do you always win?”

“You make brash decisions on the board,” Jing yuan backtracks the pieces before the soul-crushing checkmate, he positioned your pieces, “It should've gone here, you could've blocked my move.”

An exasperated sigh escapes you, clamping chunks of your hair frustratedly after realising you could've won, “I hate you.”

The man laughs as he tidies up the table, eyes still trained on you.

He doesn't know how and why you both ended up in this position.

Your relationship was complicated.

He doesn't understand you.

Sometimes you'd hold his hand, tell him all your secrets like he were a priest at a confessional, take care of him and everything of the like.

Yet, you always pushed him away. He'd sit right beside you, looking over your shoulder to read the novel you recently took interest in. As if he were a bug, you'd swat him away for being too close.

“Ji, don't get too close. I'm melting from the heat.” you say, but it was winter?

He doesn't understand love at all.

He loves mimi, he loves starchess, he loves his family (the high-cloud quintet, or should I say, ex-family), he loves tea, he loves his home.

Sometimes you two would go out to the library, indulging in me-time, faces buried in pages.

“Jing yuan, have you found a book about that one novel I told you about?” He shook his head no, he doesn't indulge in fictional work that often. But you loved novels.

“I think I found it.” He wipes the dust off the book spine. ‘How to fall in love with a genius’, what a strange book title.

“Really?” quietly tiptoeing towards his direction, the library lady eyeing you two; you had a habit of making too much noise, leading to the bookkeeper scolding you both.

“Here,” he blew over the cover, dust particles puffing in your face.

“Bastard—” words barely audible as you spoke in-between coughs, “Thanks though”

The bookkeeper glaring at you two, sending shivers down your spine. The idiot laughs again, you slap his back.

You both get kicked out.

Friends don't get drunk together, friends don't cuddle, friend's don't do this.

Like ‘friends’, you cling to him in his bed, head nuzzled in his neck. Jing yuan was scared to hug you or even dare to hold your waist.

He can only get a taste of heaven but never the real thing, you can hug him yet when he reciprocates he's too close.

He envies at how audacious you are. That you're not afraid to hold him like he's yours but he could never call you his. How you could just stare at him with those loving resplendent eyes but he could never stare longer at yours.

This time however, he wishes he slept in, he wishes he told you he was busy, that he doesn't want to hang out today.

One drink turned to two, two drinks turned to three. More, more and more, until you're on top of him, all of him you can see.

“Ji.”

How cruel you are. Straddled on his lap as he was laid against the pearly sheets of his bed, your eyes devoid of light as your free hand tug on the hem of his shirt, “Jing yuan, I'm sorry”

You cried again, gripping his shirt tightly. Why can't he push you away?

Tears spill out as you desperately wanted to love him, as he did too. But was it really love?

“I love you.” he accidentally slips out.

Your eyes widened in fear, you tried to convince yourself you didn't hear anything as you grind your hips on his lap, croaking out a guttural moan.

“Please,” you grinded faster, your hips burning, you prayed to god that what you heard was a lie, that you misheard him.

He groans in desperation, hands on your hips, “I really love you.”

Without a second thought, as if you were sober, you swatted his hand away and got off his lap. He stares at you like you were a madman— why did you suddenly stop?

He wishes he was drunk enough to indulge in you that night, but sober enough to have never said that.

He sat up, his hand reaching out for you but you swat it away again, “Stop.”

A sob stuck in his throat, heavy breaths drowning out the wanton moans from earlier.

“I…”

He wishes he never even loved you in the first place.

Tomorrow came, those lingering gazes on each other no more, those playful banters dissipated into thin air.

He can't bring himself to confront you, too scared to accept what's become to the two of you.

“Ji— General. Documents from Madam Yukong”

The way your eyes dart to anything but him, he bit his lip anxiously, “Yes, thank you. You may leave now.”

As if nothing happened last night, you bowed your head and ran away as quickly as possible. Does he even have the courage to ask you for another game of starchess?

Days passed yet no progress. Your relationship has turned into a strictly professional one. So cold to each other, yanqing and fu xuan can't wrap their hands around what could've happened but they don't have it in them to ask what happened.

The general signed paperwork, like usual. Not noticing loud thumping footsteps nearing his desk.

“General,” a part of him wished it was your voice.

“Yes yanqing?”

“They've turned in their resignation paper”

Oh. Huh?

He thinks yanqing is joking. Not when his dear retainer thrusts the documents to his hand does he realise he's really lost you.

“For what exactly?” he asks as if he doesn't know the answer.

Yanqing sighs, “I'm not sure either, but they talked about retiring.”

“They're too young to retire,” the man scratched his head, his mind racing with a million thoughts and a million regrets.

“General, they're 630 years old”

“Oh right,” he gave his retainer a weak smile, hoping the young boy doesn't notice the uneasiness in his eyes when he read through the contents, “I shall talk to them before I approve their resignation. You may leave.”

Yanqing nods, taking his leave as Jing yuan trembles. He's lost the high-cloud quintet, does fate have to take you too in its stride, far away from him?

He was okay with just being friends with you.

Jing yuan called for you in his private garden, he didn't expect you to actually come especially after that.

“You came.”

“You called,” your eyes as empty as that one night.

He tried his best to hold back the tears, heart burning yet he had to remain professional. After all, he was your boss.

“Yanqing brought me your resignation request.” he pauses, unable to find the right words.

Normally, if an employee of his decides to resign, he'd sign away their request and carry on with his life but this— how could he just sign so easily?

“Have you not signed it yet?”

“No.” he can't bring himself to.

Your fingers found solace under the table, fiddling and fidgeting together but you'd rather die than let the man in front of you notice it, “Can't you just sign it?”

“It's just… you've been working with me since the high-cloud quintet and it's not that easy.”

“How so?”

“We’d lose an important member of society, your contributions to the mechanical team have been beneficial,” he tapped his foot aggressively, agitated. “Can't you think twice about it?”

Without hesitation, “I can't. I'm getting old, sooner or later I'd die—”

He listens, not interrupting you, “— I don't want to die without living.”

Living? What a lie. You've been more alive by his side more than anything.

“What exactly do you mean by living?”

He pretends to not understand, he wishes you'd just take him into consideration and talk to him like he was Jing yuan, not the general arbiter.

“You know what I mean,” the air sucked out of your lungs, why did he have to make you say it out loud?

“I want to live. I want to be finally free of my duties, get married, and retire.”

He nodded along with your words, he felt sick. Sicker than he ever was in his life.

“I wish you told me sooner”

“What good would it bring?”

“I just wished you were honest from the start.”

The words were once stuck again in your throat, trying to blink nonstop to not let those pathetic tears spill out, “This is for me—”

“What about me?”

Desperation laced in his tone, he wishes you'd give him a chance, that you'd let him in.

“What about you?”

You wonder, what about him? He wants to ask, what about us?

“This is about me,” neither of you could find the words, but you try.

“I want to live,” forlorn, not a glimmer of hope in your eyes, he wishes on a sliver of hope, “Is that too much to ask?”

Yet life is cruel. It was a mistake trying to be more than friends with you, again; he wished he stayed as friends with you. He would have been fine with anything.

For your own good, “I understand.”

Jing yuan reluctantly took his pen, staring at the paper. He signed.

“Thank you.”

He signed you away, at least now, there's no more need for formalities. He is no longer your boss, he is just jing yuan to you.

“I… “ his mouth snapped shut.

“No more words, general?”

As selfish as it sounds, he wants to tell you that he's willing to leave this life behind. That if you want to live, he'll live with you, if you want to marry, he'll marry you. If you want to retire, he'll retire with you.

But duty calls, he can't just stop being ‘general arbiter’ in a heartbeat for you. He wishes he could.

It's not that hot outside today, but he feels like burning.

“Ah, nothing. Where will you go now?”

“It doesn't matter, I'll just go somewhere, live alone or maybe start a new life.”

“I wish luck for your future endeavours.”

Jing yuan has never been selfish. This time however, he wishes he wasn't the general. He wishes he was just a normal man, he wishes he had the privilege, that he had the choice to be your man.

You could no longer handle being under this suffocating atmosphere, “Can I leave now?”

“By all means.”

That was the last time he talked to you, he wonders, he wishes, that he was anyone but him. Not even he could have foreseen this.

When your footsteps grew quieter as you were farther away from him, he cried.

It's been long since he's cried… years, centuries perhaps.

He's lost his family, he's lost you too. All because he wanted to be more than friends.

He wonders if you cried too, if you'd come back. It's for the best.

In due time, one of you will turn mara struck. He doesn't have the heart to see you in that state. But he wishes you gave him the chance to love you, even for just two years. A year or two is all he needs to be content.

None of that matters, he wipes his tears. Reporting back to the seat of divine foresight.

Note: not proofread so dont laugh. 😔😔😔 Before one of you bitches say, who hurt you, who hurt you? No, this is just me projecting with my cupioromantic and aromantic tendencies. ITS SO COMMON TO SEE MC BEING THE ONE GETTING REJECTEd BUT NOT THE CHARACTER GETTING REJECTED I NEED MORE FICS WITH THIS PLOT GRRRRR 😟. ITS 3:16 AM FUCK SLEEP FUCK IT ALL GRRRR

Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡

#what have i done #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan smut #jing yuan angst #honkai star rail angst #hsr angst #jing yuan fluff #jing yuan x you #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut

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dozinggen · 9 months

Text

MDNI ACCOUNTS DNI

you were with him centuries ago, witnessing him having to kill his mara-stricken master. The aftermath was hard for him, but you held him close, you comforted him, when he needed you most, you were there.

one-hundred years, you still remain by his side. Jing yuan honestly loved to watch you battle, your swift movements, almost perfectly in sync with his. There was nothing more he could ask for.

after becoming general, you weren’t a priority anymore. He ignored you. Soon it was almost as if he forgot about you.

later on, he was informed of a mara-struck territory, it wasn’t ordinary, no. For some reason, it had a familiar feeling, but he’d never been here?

he wandered the place, countless fallen soldiers laid around a certain area. He had to guess whoever did this, had been mara-struck for over 20 years.

it didn’t take him long to find the thing that was doing all this.

his eyes widened, his hands trembling. He wanted to turn around—to never be here again.

his sorrow gaze met yours.

your mara-stricken gaze.

#jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail #jing yuan x you #hsr x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan hsr x reader #jingyuan x reader #honkai star rail x reader #jing yuan x y/n #jing yuan angst #mara struck jing yuan

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dark-night-hero · 6 months

Text

Imagine as you and Jing Yuan stood across each other, weapon in hand. Despite the blood both on your body and faces there was some sort of smiles on your faces. One was a smile of agony and the other was a genuine smile. At that very moment, it felt like anything, anyone besides the two of you have disappeared. Like it was just the two of you in this chaotic field.

"Seriously... how did we come into this?" "Heh, that's a very nice question you have in there." You chuckle, hands playing with your weapon before dropping it. "You-..." "How about we dance?" "Are you crazy-" "Come on now, Love." He hates it when you call them like that, he hates the way it still gives him a lingering feeling on their stomach. "For old times sake?"

Imagine how much he hates this very fucking moment and yet dropping his weapon, he look a deep breath before replying. "For old times sake." It was stranger, how such words could hold so many unsaid feelings, so many memories, so much love.

"You've gotten good at dancing." "I can't have you always taking the lead, can I?" He replied. "Really? Not because you have practice with someone else?" "I only dance with you." "Pfff you're still cute as ever, Love." "Don't call me that." "But you like it when you call me that. See? Your ears are red." "No, it isn't." "Come on don't be silly, it's obviously red!" He hates it, he hates it how you turn your back at them, at him and now act like nothing happens. He hates how much he missed you in his arms.

"This is the last spin." "Such pity how all of this would come to an end." You chuckle as you let him spin only to felt his hold on your hand tighten and the way he somehow felt stiff looking down at his other hand. "You're... bleeding." "Yes, quite for some time now." You chuckle and only then did he notice how much your lips were trembling and how pale looking you were right now. "Then-!" "Come to think of it... how was snowmoon?" Who? Oh right.

"Why aren't you answering? I left my cub with you. But now that I think of it, you've been away for too long. We've been away for too long." "You need to get fix-" "The blade that struck me was lased with poison. Let me lean on you for a moment. I'm quite tired now." "Have you forgotten we're currently enemies-?!" He stopped. He stopped talking as he felt you slowly cooling down in his arms. The way you cling into him. He stopped.

"Jing Yuan... Yuan... My love, my light" Unconsciously, he hold into you. He hold on you tight and he hates it. He hates the way he cling into you, silently wishing and hoping this isn't it. "For old times sake... Can I hear you say it again?" He hates it. He hates it how you could easily take advantage of him by simply uttering those words. "I hate that I love you even after all the shit that you put me-us through. Do you know that?" Then he heard you chuckle. "I'm... sorry." He can feel your hold slowly loosening. "That was the only way... I could... Think off..."

Imagine the way he hates it. He have already seen you turning your back at him and this time, you've leaving him again somewhere far away. "Hey.." "Hmm?" "You're leaving me again." "Hehe... Jing... Yuan..." "... what?" "Thank.. you.."

For old times sake? For old times sake. For the love that once was there, and is still there but we could mo longer hold on into. So just this once, I'll do it for you. Just this once, for the love that was there and would soon be forgotten.

#dark night hero #honkai star rail #star rail #honkai star rail imagines #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan angst #idk wtf am doing #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai jing yuan #star rail jing yuan #honkai star rail jing yuan

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xiofuu · 9 months

Text

where you actively try to deny your love for the general as he chases for it.

art is by @/tecchen on twt | part one (?)

Where did this even start? When was it that your heart had decided to go against you and fall in love with the General?

No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that this was just work, that you two were to be strictly work partners, your heart still yearned for more, wishing to be held with his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer as the both of you nap in the warmth that fell through the window and onto you both.

You shake your head at the thought, your face growing warmer as your heart betrays you more and more each day as General Jing Yuan's attendant, wandering through the Exalting Sanctum as you take a break from the endless amount of work, the moon high in the sky as a navy blue blanket is cast upon the island, highlighted with soft pinks in the sky as each building shines with their lanterns, the stone path shining a soft yellow with each step you take as you step onto the wooden boards of the elevated ground, their dark hues affected with light blue as you find an empty bench to sit on, your eyes wandering as you take in the calming feel of the night.

A soft sigh leaves your lips, your heart still pounding at the thought of the lazy General as you lean back against the bench, looking up at the night sky, stars crossing the sky as you think once more, your mind focused on too many things at once.

You couldn't love him. There wasn't a way for a work relationship such as yours to work out, you believed. From him being a General and being too busy with work (or so you excused) to you being his simple attendant, only there to work alongside him on his stacking paperwork as he makes plans for other things, his small smile of apology etched into your heart as your heart pounds again.

Though, maybe it wasn't even just that. You two had so much of your lives to live, that is what the curse of the Abundance gave. So what would make him choose you to stay with?

You sigh to yourself once more, trying to push these things down as you ignore the dull ache in your heart, thinking of the events that happened within just the last week.

It started with ignoring his messages. Watching as his messages change from a business-like tone and shifting into a more flirty one before you turn off your phone, silencing it as your ignore your warming face and your heart that thumped and bumped into the painful vines of hopelessness that had grown around your heart.

Then it was the calls. The ones where he would call to tell you to gather information before coming to his office, his voice softer, him barely grumbling into the phone as you can hear that he has just woken up. Aeons, you fell hard for this man.

Afterward, it was patching up his wounds. You knew it wasn't your job, it just...was too tempting for you. Your hands softly brushing against his bare muscular arm as you wrap the bandage around it, trying your best to ignore his eyes staring at you as your touch enchants him.

Even through all of that, it led to more and more and more, leaving your heart sore from just a day's work together. His unnecessary comments of you being beautiful, his teasing of your work habits, his soft smile, his sleeping figure, his everything!

So, you opted for the easy route.

"Ignoring" his messages, "missing" his calls, "mishearing" him, and it even got to the point where you had almost told him that you'd call another woman for him. Another woman to play with just as he had been doing to you this whole time so that you could let yourself drown in the paperwork, drown in this endless pit of sorrow as your tears of heartache filled the void within your heart you wished he could fill.

But of course, this was work. He only used to fool around years ago (you hope).

Your phone buzzes, shaking you out of your thoughts as it vibrates against your hand as you look toward it, finding that it's another message from Jing Yuan.

"Can you bring us more tea when you come back?" It said, a sigh falling through your lips as you click your phone off again, standing and stretching your arms above your head as you make your way back, knowing that he had too much tea within his office already and this was just a silly message to get you to come back.

There was nothing more you could simply do out here so far in the night as you make your way back, getting in the starskiff to start making your way to his office, dreading the long long hours your heart would beat with love and shake with heartbreak.

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mid-stars · 1 month

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My love, mine all mine.

Old xianzhou x reader

Jingliu would always smile and praise you, as the youngest of the group you always were the one they paid attention to, even though they treat you like a kid they still loved you like you were a person

Baiheng would always give you the sweetest tea, while the others joined the gathering. You didn't mind as you were all friends here. They would all laugh and enjoy themselves, they would smile even though yingxing would tease you sometimes.

You smiled at the scene... It was perfect.. "[Name] let's take a picture! Come on!" Baiheng grabs you and gives you space so you can pose "for xianzhou!" Baiheng yells "for xianzhou!" As the picture was held in your hands you couldn't help but wonder whether or not if the moment stays.. Would it last forever?

A hand on your shoulder stopped your train of thoughts, you look back to see dan feng. "you look somber" he says as he crosses his arms and you look down as you caress the picture at hand "it's just... Would we be able to stay like this again?" You wouldn't want to lose anyone... As the picture almost crippled up he sighs and holds your wrist. "[Name], I know the war is coming near but do not fret.. Because I will follow you" he smiles "and that's a promise"

As the war flashes upon your eyes, you pull off the abundance off of you and run your way to the rest. You could only see bloodshed and tears as you saw baiheng in the arms of yukong.. "Baiheng!" You dan as the wind helped you move

The war was but a blinding light as the abundance almost took over. You ran back towards dan feng. As you pushed an enemy you heard a yell and...

He lied again.

"[Name]!"

"[Name.."

"[Na.."

....

I'm sorry...

Who are you?

#dan heng angst #honkai star rail #hsr dan heng #hsr x reader #dan heng #gender neutral reader #gn reader #hsr #hsr men #x reader #xianzhou luofu #🏹 xianzhou alliance #jing yuan angst #jingliu #blade angst #blade x reader angst #yingxing #dan feng x reader

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blueparadis · 9 months

Text

❝ SAY YES TO ME ❞ + JING YUAN.

CW :: female!reader, husband!jing yuan, mostly fluff, ‘baby talk’, angst and smut undertones // synopsis. Jing Yuan wants a little bundle of joy. // word count.1k

notes :: back with my bullsh!t again. atp, jing yuan and his wife has become my new song on loop. this is a sequel but you can enjoy it as a one-shot too. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED. back to blog navigation.

Never in thousand light years Jing Yuan thought he would witness this sight: his wife sleeping on same bed with him using his arm as a pillow. Not that he has not slept with you before, he has but not like this: like fine silk threads that are too tangled to be spruced up for weaving. He swiftly moves his arm by an inch not to wake you up but enough to let you shift in sleep.

Jing Yuan’s dawing amber eyes flash on the pendant that rests on your chest and his mind is immediately occupied by the visions on that pendant kept dancing as he fucked you deep and full, along with your tits. He groans getting out of bed and spotting the nightgown you had on last night. That's odd. You are not naked now. Maybe when he was asleep you cleaned yourself up.

Jing Yuan walks to your side of the bed grazing your cheeks with the back of his palm. You look so at peace, so beautiful like this. He leans towards you blowing air into your ears, hands resting on the edge ready to catch you if you fall. A sharp intake of breath, slow blinking of heavy eyelids as a husky voice penetrates your lulled state. “Good Morning, my little sparrow.”

“Good morning ’my lion.” you barely mumble stretching out your limbs to be properly awake.

As he ties the sash of his robe you sit up, looking around your eyes fall on a carved piece of wood that seems like a bird. “What is that?” You asked briskly grabbing the piece from the side table and inspecting it. “Have you been taking Yanqing’s toys? to punish him? Again? ” Your voice spiked up at each turn of a question.

“No,” He protested immediately yet it did not satisfy you. You narrowed your gaze on him and then shifted your attention to the carved wooden piece.

“Did you make this?”

“Hmm-ummm” Jing Yuan responded. He is tapping his feet on the ground with his arms tucked across his chest. Unable to keep his bubbling thoughts to himself he blurted out “It’s for you.” You snap your eyes at him with surprise. He sat at the edge of the bed explaining further, “I — I made this for us. For you know, our baby.”

“Oh.” Your eyebrows grew closer as you looked at him holding the wooden eagle in curled palms. “oh” You realized what was going on with him all these, getting handsy with you, spending more time with Yanquig, looking at you with bedroom eyes every time you went in his quarters during his working hours and as such.

“Oh I see.” At this point you could hear every swallow of breath you took. “Will you...will you really discard me...if i don't want— You murmur with tears in your eyes, vision so blur that you can barely see his face properly. You looked down curling your palms in fists on your lap. The rough surface of the wooden eagle pinches your skin.

You remember how your father wedded another woman to produce an heir, always looked down upon since the moment your half-brother was born and when things did not go as planned he decided to use you as a weapon, to mend his torn kingdom. In your memory, your mother has always been a spectator, an audience of the sabotage your father inflicted on you, and your mother — always will be; but shall you too go down the same fate?

— or rather can't give you an heir? Tell me. Now. Will you? ”

“what? No. No. I married you because I liked you. Anyone who says otherwise is just lying. Moreover, you don't have to give me an heir.” Jing Yuan buried under the debris of some fairly tail happy endings he concocted about you crashed into pieces. Who made you like this? Who hurt you so bad that — “I just... I just want us to try for a baby. A symbol of our love.”

“symbol of our love?” You question it as if you never thought of him having any iota of affection for you. You question it as if you never considered that this marriage of convenience could offer you something more.

“yes.” Jing Yuan sternly spoke taking your hands into his. He cupped your cheeks swiping away the tears that trickled down your cheeks. “You know,” he starts “I always wondered why you didn’t cry that day. . . when I brought you here for the first time. I was under the impression that girls generally cry when they have to leave their home.” He chuckles softly scooting towards you. “But i think I have an idea now. . .” he trails off. Ducking his head a little he meets your eyes that has been stilled on the crumpled bedsheets for a while now.

“I— I felt caged there. My father isn't a kind man.“ You admitted .

“Oh Trust me, I’m aware.” A cackle followed. You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes.

“Let me think about it. I promise. I promise to think about it.” You muttered flinching at the sudden jolt that made you close your eyes. When you opened them, you were inches closer to his face, your knees touching the soft mattress as one of his thighs support you in V - position. He is deflecting the hurt, there must be some isn't it? After all, Jing Yuan did not anticipate this kind of reaction either. Sure, he expected you to throw a tantrum but not to be so dipped in dread.

“Sure.” He quips resting his chin on the apex of your cleavage. “Meanwhile. Give that to me.” He eyes the wooden piece of the eagle before continuing, “I don't want you to stress about this. We have time. We can talk about it tomorrow, the day after, or maybe never. I'll wait,”

You parted your lips to speak in hopes of soothing the hurt. If you know him well, then you can assume that he is hurt, so much so that he might have reopened some old wounds.

“I’ll wait my dear.” he beams before kissing between your collarbones. Ah! He is a walking wound now.

sequel to void.

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primofate · 11 months

Text

Honkai Star Rail brainrot (yes I've also been playing it here and there)

You're badly injured, and on the verge of death you figure the very last thing you want to do is to call him, maybe confess or just say your last goodbyes if you're already in a relationship with him.

He doesn't expect the call. Well, he does, he always gets calls from you, but he doesn't expect to hear your words so labored and your laugh so half-hearted. And when you say "thank you so much, for everything," cue his panic, the clattering sound on the other end doesn't help.

All he wants to do is to find you, and God please let you be alive.

Also wanting to do a similar version for Genshin but without the phones. I think the phone call hits hard tho.

#dan heng x reader #welt x reader #jing yuan x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng angst #welt angst #jing yuan angst #star rail #genshin impact #honkai star rail angst #star rail angst

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generalsmemories · 7 months

Note

Hello author! Can I request from angst prompt the angst sentence #2 and angst scenario #4 with Jing yuan? This is my first time doing stuff like this. I don't know if I'm doing it right😅 if not feel free to delete! May you have a wonderful day!

A shoulder to lean on

✧ jing yuan x gn!reader

✧ prompts: breaking down mid-hug, "can you call me that again?" and "you haven't changed" "...do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?" || 1k event

✧ contents: hurt/comfort, a miniscule of high cloud quintet lore, my personal hc that jing yuan was a tiny bit of a crybaby when he was younger (it's mentioned briefly you could barely notice it)

✧ a/n: after jingliu's companion quest the need to give this man a hug just increased by tenfold. but you did everything correct dear anon, thank you for participating in the event! not beta-read cause the idea kicked me in the face at like 1 AM so i had to hurry before i lost it. though i did struggle trying to incorporate the last sentence LMFAO.

"Do you accept this new position as the general of the Luofu, Jing Yuan?"

Sometimes he wonders if things would've gone differently if he said no that day, had politely declined the offer. He had dreams after all, dreams that wasn't limited to the Luofu - a dream that was to reach the stars, and further than that.

"It would be my honor."

But as fast as those worries came, it quickly faded away with time. Forgotten amidst the chaos that immediately happened the moment he took the mantle of the General.

"General, there's another meeting with the Six Charioteers."

"General, the Marshal is requesting your presence."

"Even if you've became the general, we would still need a strategic mind and another sword out on the battlefield, what do you say?"

He didn't mind at first.

"General! The high elder has...!"

"General, we have succesfully captured Imbibitor Lunae, what are the High Preceptors orders for him?"

"General! The swordmaster has succumbed to mara!"

If he could serve the Luofu to the best of his abilities then he would. He loved Luofu after all. It would be no greater honor than to be able to govern it and protect it.

"General! There's an urgent message from the Xianzhou Yaoqing and Xianzhou Fanghu!"

"General, we will keep losing more men to the Denizens of Abundance at this rate, the only way to stop this war once and for all is through the Reignbow Arbiter!"

But after centuries of the same title being called out, of the same courtesy and respect given to him at every corner and at every second of his life, he starts to wonder.

"General!"

When was the last time he heard someone call out his name?"

"Jing Yuan."

He sucks in a deep breath, eyes snapping open upon hearing his name. There's a warm hand cradling his cheek with a thumb stroking his skin patiently - but no words have been said after someone had uttered his name.

It's quiet - the noise inside his head had seemed to morph back into the same mild headache he's gotten used to ignoring every day. A pain that makes him realize he's no longer forced to witness what had happened in the past, the warmth from the hand on his cheek confirming the fact he's back in the present.

Back in today's Luofu - a peaceful Luofu not plagued by any war, a Luofu he had managed to keep in peace for centuries.

He let's out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, his eyes finally adjusting to the room around him. His vision is a bit hazy, but he can still make out the interior of your shared house.

There's a bed underneath him, a blanket covering half of his body and the sound of the breeze blowing through the wind chimes which makes them make a clear sound. And when he averts his gaze from the ceiling to the presence beside him, he finds himself locking eyes with your own - a gentle smile painting your lips.

"Good morning, I take it that you didn't sleep that well tonight?" you ask, and Jing Yuan opens his mouth to say something, whispering something so quietly that you couldn't even hear it even when you're this close to him, "I won't be able to hear you at all if you continue to whisper like that, you know?"

"... Can you call me that again?" he finally manages to utter after a beat of silence, the requst making you cock your head to the side in confusion - but it doesn't take long before your eyes widen slightly in realization, before immediately softening.

"You haven't changed at all, have you? Jing Yuan."

And that's all he needed to hear before he finally breaks. You can hear a low whimper come from him before you flinch away in surprise when he suddenly rises to an upright position. But you're not able to move back fast enough before an arm hurriedly wraps around your waist to force you closer to him.

"... Do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?" he breathes out, voice finally returning to him after hearing you call out his name again.

His free hand cradles the back of your head, pressing you closer to his neck while he almost shrinks into you, trying to press you closer than you already are.

Almost as if wants to protect you - from what you don't know.

But he's shaking, the arms enveloping you in his embrace are trembling slightly and you can feel his voice shake whenever he breathes in and out, his own face pressed against your head.

"A good way, what else? Because even after everything you've gone through, standing tall as the general of the Luofu-"

You ignore how he physically flinches upon hearing you say that title.

"You're still the same crybaby of a Jing Yuan that I fell in love with way before you even got your infamous nickname."

He doesn't say anything, freely letting you cup his cheeks to pull him away from your head, giving him a smile and a quick peck onto his cheek before you readjust him to rest his head on your shoulders - to which he quickly buries his face into your neck. And it's only when you wrap your own arms around his shoulders tightly that you feel tiniest of tears dampen your clothes.

You can only squeeze back, bending your head down to press your lips onto whatever part of Jing Yuan you can reach.

"It's okay to cry, Jing Yuan."

another similar ask that got incorporated

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x you #hsr imagines #hsr x reader #hsr x you #star rail x reader #star rail x you #star rail imagines #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan angst

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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 4 months

Text

angst? me? haha... 2.4k words of it actually c:

cw: slight sensory deprivation (blindfold/mention of going non-verbal)

you still remember the first time it happened. how could you forget? the sheer panic and rapid thoughts racing through your mind when the itch in your throat had produced a single, golden ginkgo leaf from your tongue.

in the stages of grief, it states there are five. you beg to differ since you spent so long staring at the yellow leaf in your palm for so long your eyes felt irritated from the lack of blinking. you couldn't just deny that something was so very wrong when the evidence had come out of you.

you didn't feel anger either. confusion, fear, the deepest pit you've ever experienced in your gut? that's what you felt, but not anger. this was something that was bound to happen one day if you lived long enough to see it, so it shouldn't anger you anyway. still, that doesn't mean that that stage was skipped.

no, jing yuan felt it for you.

jing yuan hated yaoshi, the adundance. he loathes them from the deepest, darkest and most tainted part of his soul. the loathing he felt no doubt could even be felt by the continuously passed on entity of his Lightning-Lord. it was a sick twist of fate that he had been with you when you coughed up that leaf, stood so closely within your personal proximity when your life started ticking away from him.

jing yuan was not a loud man when it came to his negative emotions. he- in fact- made a bad habit of keeping most of them internalized and kept solely to himself. may haps he would tell you or yanqing that which would plague him to the point of bursting- but those rare moments only happened well away from the public eye of the luofu residents. no, jing yuan is a man who radiates anger like a brewing lighting storm devoid of rain and thunder. it's quiet and heavy and skin crawling.

you were younger than him, you still had time to enjoy your long life before having to worry about the effects of mara. you should've still had time to enjoy your long life beside him.

"y/n," his voice calling you is breathless as he moves swiftly to stand in front of you. he takes your wrist gently- you can feel his fingers tremble ever so slightly- and he brushes that yellow leaf onto the ground under his boot. "let me see," he says. finally registering back into reality, you lift your chin and he's immediately searching your face and eyes for any signs of... just something.

maybe he was looking for something that was invisible. a way to prove that what just happened before his very eyes was a trick of some sort- maybe a sick prank you'd be begging him to forgive you for later. or maybe he had already reached a state of dreary understanding and was searching for a timeline of how much time you have left.

"jing yuan," you softly call, and he flinches when he hears the drag of your voice that indicates your painful coughs from a moment ago. "it..." you take a deep breath, "it's going to be fine. let's just go to lady bailu and-"

"no," he quickly shoots down before his brain could think otherwise. his outburst startled you both, and if it weren't for such a dire situation, his wide eyes that quickly scrunched closed may have been cute in a way. "no, just- nevermind." he lets out a deep sigh. "we should go see the dragon lady, you're right. and i-" should contact the ten-lords commission. but he doesn't want to. if he does, then you'll be taken from him and imprisoned with every other marastruck xianzhou native they've taken under his order.

his hands that were wrapped around your wrists grow slack and you easily slip free from his grasp. dropping one hand, the other raises to brush back the wild, white treses that always cover his right eye.

"we'll start with lady bailu, okay?" he just nods, not able to formulate words anymore. he had a letter sent to the alchemy commission announcing his visit along with you for the following day, giving him some time to compose himself. a single day would do you no harm after all.

"is there still nothing that can be done?" jing yuan knew the answer already. of course, there wasn't. there hadn't been for as long as he's been general- which was longer than most of his predecessors. the best 'solution' he had at this point was the small gourd gripped tightly in his fist. this had been his second time back to the alchemy commission, the first time had been with you but now he stands here alone.

"you know as well as i do," bailu's voice spoke as she stood in front of him with her hands on his hips, "this is the most advanced treatment i have. the alchemy commission is still no closer to finding a real cure, so please make do with this for now."

"i understand," there was no point in trying to converse longer. the longer he spent here the longer you waited for him back at home. he had contacted bailu with means on the downlow and had even attempted to keep who the afflicted person was if word did spread.

of course, that didn't work out like he wanted and just by his mannerisms alone, the young high elder knew it was you. she had never seen the luofu's general so disheveled before- normally able to keep a better lid on his emotions.

"you have my gratitude," he said before dismissing himself.

this small gourd could last a patient anywhere between a few days, a few weeks or at worst a few hours. your mara hasn't been active for long, just a day or two before jing yuan could get his hands on the elixir she uses for the marastruck soldiers she comes across.

"only administrator one ochoko of elixir a day! no matter how bad it gets, you cannot exceed that amount!" were bailu's specific instructions. he dares not go against them. at the very most he could stretch the treatment up to around 40 days if he was lucky.

and then there was the probability of you losing your mind quicker than he could treat you. so, he took another precaution.

when jing yuan returned back home, back to you, he had found you sitting on the wooden veranda surrounding the house. the breeze was something you always enjoyed. your head was angled up towards the sky, but you saw nothing behind the blindfold covering your eyes.

sensory deprivation. in cases of mara, cutting off senses of the body can slow the spread of it. surely with this and the dragon lady's elixir...

"y/n," he calls and you swivel your head towards his voice with a smile. one that was so innocent and warm he wished he could see your eyes.

"welcome back," you greet him as he pads softly over to you. running the pads of his finger across the skin just below your blindfold, his chest tightens. its not fair.

"i'm home." jing yuan is glad you cannot see his frown.

the time it took for the alchemy commission to finally find out jing yuan had been seeking bailu's guidance for a marastruck xianzhou native was more than his pessimism expected, but less than his desired yearned. he was cornered at the seat of divine foresight, surrounded by alchemy commission enforcers and yanqing who had been privy to the secret considering he lived with the general and you.

the general sat at his desk, his fingers weaved together and propped up by his elbows. his forehead lowered and resting on the backs of his hands with his scrunched-up expression hidden under his white mane of hair that had been tied up messier than usual- if one could believe it with the nest of hair he normally had.

hearing the underlings of bailu chew his ears off, he could only catch a glance of yanqing at his side. arms locked at his sides with his fists clenched- jing yuan could only imagine the face he was making.

"y/n must be apprehended and relocated to the shackling prison, general. you're aware of this."

"all too well," he whispers to himself, but with the heavy quiet everyone can hear him. "yanqing," he calls without lifting his head.

"general?" the general had never heard the boy so soft spoken before. all his bravado seems to have shrunk.

"i will be contacting the ten lords commission," he swallows. "please make preperation for it."

"yes, general." the painful swallow in the young boy's voice was enough to tell jing yuan that he understood.

'go spend time with y/n before they're gone.' that was what jing yuan really said.

soon, jing yuan's office was clear of all guests and he finally lifted his head and leaned himself back in his chair. letting out a breath, he knew it was coming. you had been coughing up more leaves than he had expected and despite everything he tried, the affliction was ruthless.

it wasn't fair.

the next day, jing yuan had decided to do one finally task. for himself and for you. instead of waiting for the ten lords commission to come knocking at his doorstep, he was going to take one last final measure. even if it changes nothing and you're still taken away from him- perhaps it could extend your sanity just a little while longer. that alone would give jing yuan the smallest peace of mind.

your body had been getting weaker, and patches of yellow gingko shaped markings had spotted all over your body. jing yuan had to practically carry you all the way to the divination commission to meet with fu xuan.

"general," fu xuan's soft voice speaks as he undoes your blindfold but softly instructs that you keep your eyes closed for him. "are you sure you want to do this?"

"i've made my decision."

replacing your blindfold, the general places his palm across the span of your eyes. your hand reaches up to gently rest on his wrist and he can see the cursed yellow blotting you under your sleeves meant to keep it hidden. he grimaces.

"you're taking my memories... aren't you?" your voice had gone scratchy and distorted a few days ago, so you had refrained from speaking. another pointless suppression tactic.

"yes, my dear," he brings you down to your knees beneath the matrix that was ever turning. he kneels with you, keeping his hand over your eyes. "i am."

"yanqing?"

"he knows. i... i asked him not to come." he didn't want you to look that boy in the face and not know who he was. "after this, you'll be taken to the shackling prison." jing yuan closes his eyes and lets out a heavy breath. "i'm so sorry."

"i know." your gentle grasp on his wrist tightened and he wishes you'd rip off his gauntlet and embed your nails into his skin just so he'd have something left of you after the day's end. "it'll all be okay."

"no," he refutes, "it wont."

"general," fu xuan wistfully calls. "the ten lords commission will be coming shortly. if you're sure about this, then we must act quickly." the general nods, lifting off his knee to lean and push his forehead against yours one last time. his bangs still tickle your face, and his skin is warm. the way he smells of tea and the elixir you had been taking envelops you and you feel oddly at peace.

the next and last time jing yuan see's your eyes, they're stripped of everything he ever memorized about them. and you didn't recognize him.

the buzz about the general losing you was all hush, like a ripple that kept coming into contact with him. you were gone, taken away from him and all he wanted to do was find a way to get past it. get over it. accept it. but all the outside noise just kept reminding him about how much it hurt.

the buzz turned into murmurs, turned into static and as the days past public life returned to normalcy on the luofu. now, as welt, march and the trailblazer all walk around the divination commission they pass by a small jade plaque that had been placed there several years ago. it looked well-kept and there was a name inscribed on it.

"so, was this y/n person important or something?" march asks, unaware of the intensity that question could hold for some. fu xuan looks at the plaque that used to sit comfortably at the seat of divine foresight before it was moved.

"they were. a very important person who meant a lot to all of us on the luofu."

"did they...?" march's voice was sad, and welt tries to keep her from asking anything more. the plaque was obviously a memorial.

"they were stricken with mara a long time ago." fu xuan takes a deep breath and turns to the curious girl. "i'll be happy to answer any questions you have about them, but you must not bring the subject up to the general under any circumstances."

"the general? but why not?"

fu xuan's face falls and his lips curl over her teeth in a small frown that was biting back too many things she need not disclose to outsides ears.

"it would be pointless." was all she replies.

fu xuan looks longingly at the matrix and can picture the face of the general who had completely recovered from the loss of his partner. the general who will gaze out over his desk at the large star chess board in his office. the general who still entertains his young retainer in both combat training and chess games. the general who still had a bad habit of dozing off and slipping away from his seat and paperwork.

the general who doesn't remember he was ever in love to begin with.

sometimes, the general of the xianziou luofu finds himself starting out into empty space. the words 'it isn't fair' repeating in his subconscious bring a pain to him. he doesn't know what they mean. what wasn't fair? all he can do to shake the feeling and words is resume meditating.

jing yuan didn't know why he meditated. but he did know that he didn't want to remember why it hurts.

#honkai star rail #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan angst #jing yuan x y/n #jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail jing yuan #honkai star rail jing yuan angst #honkai star rail angst #jing yuan x reader angst #jing yuan x y/n angst #jing yuan x you angst #honkai star rail fic #jing yuan #hsr #it got kinda messy towards the end there #whoopies

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