#I AM GOING CRAY CRAY NUTTERS WHAT THE HELL

[fyeahsmokinhot]

Basically a mildly funny, delusional therapy session!

Ok, I can't anymore I just need to let it out.

I've been in bed since this morning as I got food poisoning/stomach flu and I'm quite sure it's because of D&D and not the T/A.

So anyway let's rant...also my nimble fingers might make typos as I'm super dehydrated (feeling like Ghost after fighting with WWs and being abandoned by Jon the Dumbest).

So we start with the funeral.....and its sombre as shit. Well done David Nutter btw. And we move on to eating food 🤮.

Here we go: Dany! I love(d) her so much, but lately she's all over the place going from crazy to crazy in love. Now don't let my lack of detecting any chemistry between her and Resident Emo Boy confuse you BUT are we just all going to sweep the incestous undertones under the pelts?Here I am watching another make out scene???.....but ok I shall resurrect and go to Kings Landing where Cersei is hosting a party (Wall themed I see). After losing her baby (also wth how did she not see them?why didn't she dracarys Eurons ass?), her Sir Friendzone and her BFF once again Dany is made to seem BAD for mourning in a murderous way (ah I guess it's ok if Arya does it....or Snow?), Being held to higher standard .....JUST BC SHE HAS A VAGINA??? ( Dios Mio, Olenna please).

Next up on my list Arya who went back to her old cuddle buddy The Hound.....Kind of digging it. Gendry you dumbass (❤️) offer her to go on a round-trip of murder (Bonnie & Clyde style) not a marriage. Also mad love for making her an honest woman with those puppy eyes.

Brienne & Jaime ....and this is where we go cray-cray. Dear fellow citizen of Tumblr, if you still reading brace yourself....by the end of the next 2 episodes (if U ARE a BRAIME shipper) you be losing golden hands, legs, basically everything that you can rip off (like Miss Vanjie did when singing No More Pain). So after reading countless (!!!!) posts about how people interpreted that scene (remember dear reader I was ill today so it was a lot) I think we can settle on Prince Charming Now Turned Old Guy Because Of International Incestous Relations is a dumbass with a death wish. BUT is he a good dumbass or a bad one.Now here I'd like to point out two things I didn't see considered:

Jaime already killed a king to save the population of Kings Landing.

Jaime said to Brienne he would have done the deed at Riverrun....but he didn't cus of Brie-Brie .....I'm assuming we all saw the things he did for her that went against Cersei. He went back to rescue her instead of rushing to KL, he arranged for her to leave as soon as Queen Should Have Been Thanos' Wife even breathed in her general direction, gave her instructions and means to protect Sansa even though his sister wanted her dead, took Riverrun in piece BC Brie-Brie asked !!!!! Come on guys after all that you can't believe he would put Cersei before her (or maybe I'm fuckin wrong since D&D don't even seem to know correct details in their behind the scenes cuts). So yes I believe Jamie wants to kill Female Jaime because....if she defeats Dany she is coming for them in Winter fell (also Brienne and Sansa are in WF).

No I don't ship Jaimsa (because hello fuckin weirdos 💝), but Briennes oath means something to Jaime.

BUT I hate...hate...hate how Jaime left her (the 🍑). He broke her heart after she finally opened it ...and this (D2 will burn in hell, the crossroads demon is on it).

Also my two weirdos having the most relatable and clumsy copulation (yes I said it, someone had to) moment. Like don't we all just flirt like Jaime...so smooth: it's hot in here bitches breeches off. Oh look my poor hand doesn't work I guess I will need your help...🥺🥺🥺

Brienne will NOT die. I can't believe otherwise.There are some characters you don't touch (Juliet from Lost, Clarke from The 100, Castiel) and she is one of them. I love that Gwen was real about her arc of being a woman this season.

I do think I have an unhealthy obsession with Braime as this episode actually made me sick(no it wasn't the take away) and now I will forever remember this as the night Braime became canon and the day when I felt like The Prince of Dorne when his eyes were popping (oh Oberyn....Pedro Pascal I miss your holiness sexiness).

And what with all the articles/YouTubers predicting pregnancies? We watched (with my friend, I'm not hallucinating from dehydration) people predicting a pregnant Dany, Brienne, Arya (?)....basically everyone with boobs. Chill guys if you worried about repopulating Samwell is on it!

And Tyrion best wingman in Westeros. What even was he doing showing off to GingerBain (btw good for you, tap dat rebound ass babe....and have fun going back to the land of the lost....you could have taken Dumbass Emo with you 🤫). Btw guys how many versions of the Two Dudes Just Hanging And Discussing The Fate Of The Iron Throne While Demeaning Rulers (mostly women) As Incompetent do we have to sit through? Can I like request to see actual things like Two Eyed Robot telling the sisters about the heritage or Sansa telling Tyrion instead of cutting away? That Tyrion and Sansa scene was having me on the edge.

And we come to Sansa. My queen, my sunshine and..... apparently my New Little finger ( is it only me who hates this comparison that reduces her to a power hungry, brothel-less creepy dude even thought she's been doing everything for her family????). I lost it when I heard them bring this up in the Untucked Uncut vid. Like maybe give us some actual scenes with Sansa where we get to see her contemplating her goals and wishes and not just her looking pretty up into the sky (compulsory shot of season 8). I've been feeling so far away from Sansa since season 7 (worst season ever....but this one is a contender).

Also from now on I'm believing in Bronn.He foresaw the Bang and said he will collect later. There will be a later for the boys! Bronn gave up on the castle he's now gone to take over for the Witchy Woman who talked to frogs and Cersei. Big ups for the resident Reversed Three Eyed Raven!

I have read the interview where GRRM said he doesn't agree or like some character fates. I agree GRRM so can you give us a book ....I mean God's it takes me ages to get started on my coursework, bit at least I submit it 10 min before the deadline!

Also the total lack of any mention of Braime in both behind the scenes....??!!!...Might be good news.

#Bonus Fun topics you can bring up at Thanksgiving:

Podrick and the 3some - u go girl!!!

Tyrion and his lack of sex - we've all been there and that's why I need spoilers to satisfy my craving....just like you needed to know about the magic vagina!

Wtf is a Varys anymore? Also Yara?

Ser Dadvos without kids and Red God's is super depressing. Give the guy an orphan!

Greyworm -which shot of his face was more intimidating. Rate from 1 to Dracarys!

Global warming? Dragons near extinction?

*Disclaimer: I love all GOT characters (well, maybe except for I Have One Facial Expression And It's Emo Jon), but I just needed a good rant cus the ones aimed at my friends didn't do it for me 😄

#braime #game of thrones #brienne of tarth #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #bronn of the blackwater #sansa stark #arya stark #jon snow #danereys targaryen #samwell tarly #got #gendry baratheon #gendry waters #dadvos #ser davos