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phytocondria · 3 years

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Secret Note #7

Quick thanks to my friend @coolcoolglasses for the texting idea and help with Maru's nicknames. I really liked all the dialog in my last fics chapter so consider this a preview/extra for my next chapter on Ao3 whenever I get around to it. (Lil-nightmare is my farmer oc for context) p.s. the spelling mistakes are totally on purpose and not just me not knowing how to spell. (Maybe that too ^-^')

Word Count: 889 Summary: There's a mysterious note on the General Store's bulletin board.

Chicken_lord: dude wtf

StarR00-bot: Wait, what is hat?

*that

Lil-nightmare: Looks like it’s torn out of something

Chicken_lord: idk it was hangin on pierre’s

Lil-nightmare: What’s it say anyways?it doesn’t look like pierre’s normal stationary though

(maybe from a notebook)

StarR00-bot: Or a diary, I can’t make out who's handwriting it is though.

You need a new phone, the camera on yours is a potato dude

Chicken_lord: phones fine brains.

i’ll text what it says in a min

morris has been on our ass lately

Lil-nightmare: Sounds like an hr violation ;P

StarR00-bot: 😱

Gross

Chicken_lord: psssh, he wishes

StarR00-bot: fair, even you have standards

Lil-nightmare: Why do you still work there? You knowthe farms big enough I could hire you on permanently ?

Chicken_lord: and give you a excuse to boss me around

Lil-nightmare: Hey, I'm a cool boss.

I only require your eternal fidelity, and you can keep your first born

Chicken_lord is typing….

StarR00-bot: lol

We both know it’s because Charlie would be mad he’s cheating on her

Lil-nightmare: True, true.

Charlie would be heartbroken knowing you’re meeting with other chicks

StarR00-bot: With a hole other hen house? :0

*whole

How could you?!

Lil-nightmare: Probably smell of void essence on your clothes

StarR00-bot: Catching tbe feathers in your hair

*the

Chicken_lord: there are only a few older bachelors in town none of them are perfect harvey is really anxious and weak but he’d make a loyal and devoted husband he likes coffee and pickles

elliott is a bit foppish and melodramatic but he has anice chin he likes crab cakes and pomegranates

shane is messy and anti-social but I think his gruff exterior is a defense mechanism insulating his softness from the world he likes peer pizza and pepper poppers

Lil-nightmare: DA FRICK!?!?!?!?

StarR00-bot: sdhzxvbkj...

I’m wheezing

wtf?

Chicken_lord: thats what i said

like f***

imagine walking past and seeing this on your way towork

Lil-nightmare: HOLY FATHER OF YOBA. WHO WROTE THAT?!!?

StarR00-bot: And it was on pierre’s?

Chicken_lord: yup

Lil-nightmare: WHY THOUGH?

StarR00-bot: I feel like my brother has something to do with this -.-’

Chicken_lord: your bothers got the hots for older dudes?

Lil-nightmare: dskjcjvh, stop!

StarR00-bot: I mean he’s got the dady issues for that, but no

*daddy issues

Lil-nightmare: scxzfvuk

Chicken_lord: fuk...

good one roostar

Lil-nightmare: I hate all of this

Shane I’m blaming you

StarR00-bot: I meant him or Abi probably put it up

Sounds like something they do, yk

Chicken_lord: whatd i do

im the one with some weird secret admirer

StarR00-bot: And Harvey and Elliott

Lil-nightmare: … Harvey’s not weak though

Chicken_lord: nope

stopping you there

StarR00-bot: same

Don’t need to know that bout my boss

Lil-nightmare: ???

Wait

F*** you guys

I meant figuratively

But also, he’s been helping around the farm more :/

Chicken_lord: don’t need to here you simping over the doc either

Lil-nightmare: SEE THIS IS WHY I CAN ONLY BE NICE TO MARU

StarR00-bot: xD

Chicken_lord: yeah yeah im a a**hat

StarR00-bot: Lol, I’m just the favorite

Chicken_lord: do you mind getting back to whoever wants to workshopme and the doc

StarR00-bot: *sent is a gif of courage the cowardly dog villain saying “you’re not perfect”*

I think someone trying to neg you in their diary

*is

Lil-nightmare: Yeah

I mean messy?

Like they know your room is messy or just your whole deal?

Cause I mean…

Chicken_lord: *gif of someone slowly raising a middle finger in frame*

Lil-nightmare: I mean old you

(mostly)

Cause they also sad beer and not sparkling water

StarR00-bot: Oh yeah, plus you and Harv have been dating for how long already?

Chicken_lord: a decade

Lil-nightmare: *sends the same middle finger gif*

But yeah, it has to be kinda old at least

Chicken_lord: or someones a homewrecker

StarR00-bot: I doubt it

Lil-nightmare: …. 🔪

StarR00-bot: …

Lil-nightmare: So at least they’re on point with Elliot, I guess

And foppish is a weird word choice ya know

Chicken_lord: alex and sam are out don’t have the braincells for vocab

Lil-nightmare: Like aside from elliott, who would actually use the word “foppish”

StarR00-bot: I wanna say rude but I might actually keel over in laughter if I heard either one use the word

But yeah, probably not them or anyone in the note

Lil-nightmare: Or us and PROBABLY not any of the married folk unless… 👀

StarR00-bot: unless…. 👀

Chicken_lord: wat

Lil-nightmare: I mean…. Kent was gone for awhile….

StarR00-bot: nah, she might act mad thirsty, but she’s all talk according to mom

Lil-nightmare: Fair, plus turns out caroline maybe

Actually nvm, i don’t actually know know, yk?

StarR00-bot: NO WAY DOSH

*dish

preedy, pweese 🥺👉👈

Chicken_lord: ugh, your promised no more uwu talk brains

StarR00-bot: Lol

Lil-nightmare: I’ll tell you next time, but lips sealed Roo

StarR00-bot: 🙊

Promise

Chicken_lord: you guys can gossip without me

just wanted to show the weird note but my shifts starting

StarR00-bot: Ok bye, have fun feeding the capitalist machine :D

Chicken_lord: *middle finger gif again*

Lil-nightmare: Hey brng the note over later

(Maybe I’ll recognize the handwriting)

StarR00-bot: Ooooh you guys on the case of who done it?

Chicken_lord: eh not that committed nancy drew

Lil-nightmare: Come on, I got some peppers that nee testing

Plus MochI misses you (and Jas, bring Jas. I haven't seen in her in too long T.T)

Chicken_lord: maybe

#sdv oc #sdv maru #sdv shane #stardew valley farmer #stardew valley #stardew valley writing #my writing #sdv writing #stardew maru #stardew shane

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