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lokisgame · 5 years

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A Generous Donation [10]

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9]

The day rushed by, as Scully drowned the uneasiness in workload, grateful that she was still able to focus on her patients' problems instead of her own. Mulder texted her around 5pm, saying he was done with the tests and that his invitation still stands, and she realised, that somewhere between exams and paperwork, the thought of facing him again, didn't paralyse her anymore. She still didn't know how to tell him about Will, or had any idea how he might take the news, but the truth settled in.

Charlie was right, he really was a great guy after all. If she ever wanted a father for Will, Mulder would pretty much fit the bill, smart, funny, kind and as far as she could tell, steadfast. He would be the kind of dad who never forgot to pick him up from school, was there for the baseball games and swimming tournaments. She could see herself sharing couch with them on Saturday evenings, eating popcorn and watching macho-movies. Though it was dangerous to hope, if fate allowed she might still have that.

She went to see Will at the end of her day, pausing by the door to watch him for a second through the window. He was reading, curled up on his side, earbuds in, completely enthralled, and now when she knew, she couldn't help but notice the similarities. The chestnut mane, the tall and lean frame, high cheekbones, and finally, definitely, undeniably, Mulders' mouth. That pout that usually got him his way, the smile that brightened her day, is was Mulder all over again. Will must've felt her gaze because he glanced up from his book and smiled, sitting up. He looked pale and tired, but his eyes were bright. "Why are you staring at me?" He asked, when she came in and dropped a kiss on top of his head. "I just got here, you must've sensed me coming." "Spooky," he grinned and scooted over, letting her sit beside him. "What are you reading?" "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy," he said, closing the book to show her the cover, "uncle Charlie brought it." "And the t-shirt?" "Aunt Missy," he grinned pulling at the hem of his new PJ's, on it, planes were chasing UFO's around the world, the words Foo Fighters written across the front, "she remembered the UFO's, but Emily said, she didn't have the heart to tell her it's a band." "Be glad it's not a tie-dye," Scully laughed. "Yeah, aunt Melissa, the last hippy on earth." "Will," she nudged him lightly making him laugh, and it was the warm honey sound she loved most. "Mom?" "Yes honey?" "Doctor Skinner was here to see me, too." "You had a busy day," she said, keeping her voice light. "Does that mean, he found someone?" "I don't know," she said, kissing his temple, "these things take time." "Because I wouldn't mind getting out of here." "And I wouldn't mind taking you home, either." A knock made them both look up and a second later, a young girl came in, her red hair cut short almost like a boy's, piercings catching the light from the fluorescents overhead. "Emily!" "Hi, aunt Dana," she said, kissing Scully's cheek before ruffling Will's hair, "told you I'd come back." "You got it?" Will perked up. "Yup," she plopped across the foot off his bed, dropping a small box between them. "Cards?" Scully laughed, letting go off Will, who reached for the deck and immediately started shuffling. "There's only so much TV I can stand." "Why didn't you tell me." "Haven't thought of it until I saw this one here," he chuckled, jerking his chin at Emily. "Right, because I'm known for bringing up base instincts in men." Scully felt slightly uncomfortable, Em was 24, but in her eyes, she was still that teenage girl who watched cartoons sitting on the floor with her son. "How's Palo Alto, Em?" "Dry, I miss Boston," she sighed picking up her cards, "and this little one." "If you didn't give up that scholarship at MIT and sell out to the blue chips," Will said. "I wouldn't have that house with a pool I just sold, to move back here." Will's ears went up so fast he almost jumped. "You're coming back?" "Yup," she grinned and he threw himself at her, both of them laughing. Emily held him tight and Scully heard her tone change, "so now you have to get better, you hear me?" "Yup," William said, letting go off his childhood best friend. "What does your mom think about this?" Scully asked, proud of her brilliant punk niece. "She's not thrilled," Emily sighed a little sad, but then smiled at them both, "but that's what I want to do, so it's happening." "Well, if you need a place to stay in the mean time." "Thanks," she smiled brighter, fixing the sheets Will kicked over, "I'll come to you when Charlie grows tired of me." "Or his next girlfriend shows up." Will said, then picked up his cards. Scully played three hands with them then kissed the kids goodnight.

A nurse came by with Will's meds and took a few notes on his chart, while Emily paced the room, noticing the pile of books on his nightstand. "Visiting hours end in one hour," she reminded and left, and Em was back, sprawled at the foot of Will's bed. "What's this?" She said, showing him one of the books, the one with the UFO on the cover. "Extra reading for my psychology class." "It's signed." "Yeah, the guy's my professor and he kind of dates mom." "Why kind of?" She asked, looking at the photo on the back. "You know, not like Charlie dates girls, takes them out a few times and you know they'll disappear, mom and Mulder, I think they're past that." "You don't like it?" "It felt weird at first, but then I saw her coming home from seeing him and wow, I don't think I ever saw her that happy." "Really." "She doesn't hum show tunes to anything, she just sort of, glows." "Hmm, she didn't seem glowing to me." "That's because you didn't see her a week ago, heck, last Thursday even, I'm telling you, that guy is different." "He is cute, and," she held up the book, looking first at the picture then at Will, then at the picture again, "he sort of looks like you." "What?" "I mean, if you skip the eyes and the nose," she covered half of the picture with her hand and glanced at Will again, "yeah, definitely." "I don't think that's why she likes him." "No, I think it's the glowing part," Emily said, wiggling her eyebrows and Will gaged. "Ugh, let's not talk about my mom and that." "Why?" She laughed, stretching out like a cat, and if he didn't know his cousin since before she had tits, he'd find the sight very attractive. "Let me give you a piece of advice, you want to keep a girl, be that guy, one who makes her glow." "That's it? Sex? What about connection, shared views and mutual trust?" "That's when you're looking for a friend, and believe me, it's even rarer than great sex." "Well, I'll have it both." Will sighed, shuffling the cards, looking a little embarrassed and she covered his hands with hers. "You will," she said without teasing, "you just have to get out of here."

Mulder decided on the epitome of comfort food, chicken casserole, but the longer they sat at the table, in the warm light of his kitchen, the stronger was the sense, that something bad was about to happen. Scully kept smiling letting him fill silence with chatter, but her eyes were unusually present, fixed on his face as if she was looking at him for the last time, determined to learn his face, before she told him goodbye. Fear, uneasiness, long silences, he could understand, but at the same time, he itched to touch her, just to make sure she wouldn't push him away. They moved to the couch after dinner and when she folded herself against his side, the relief was instantaneous. "The dean wasn't too pleased when I asked for the week off," Mulder said, drawing her closer. "But Skinner said I should avoid public places, so I wouldn't pick up any infection, in case the tests came back positive." "Walter knows what he's doing, you're both in good hands." "You haven't told Will yet?" "No, I don't want to scare him," she said, taking his hand and lacing her fingers through his, "he keeps joking and teasing, but I know it's an act." "That's him, being your son," he said, kissing her temple, "you're both so careful not to show weakness." "You say it like it's a bad thing," she sighed. "There's time and place for everything, and Will knows what he's up against, there's just nothing he can do about it, and goofing off is his defence mechanism. I think he's scared just like everyone else." "Why are you doing this?" She asked quietly, stroking the back of his hand. "Why help us?" "Because I can," he said simply. "Because you got dealt this shitty hand and I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I just stood idly watching a great kid fade away, while his mother fought the fight alone, for both of them. Even thinking about it makes me wanna kick my own ass." "So you feed me and fuck me and let me stick a needle in your butt," she said, turning in his arms, and cupping his cheek, drawing his lips down, "because you can." "There's no endgame for me here," he smiled, feeling her warm breath, "you might as well ask me why I breathe." "Why do you breathe?" "So I we can keep having these talks, apparently," he said and let her kiss him, because that was what she needed from him.

They moved slowly, bodies wrapped around each other, arms and legs and mouths drawing lines. In the dim light he held her gaze, luminous blue beneath delicate skin and lashes, with every stroke bringing her higher and away from her problems. A moment of release was all he could offer, but he made damn sure, the moment was worth it. Her eyes locked on his, lips parted, heart pounding, his, hers, he didn't know anymore, didn't care. She bit her lip, he caught it, freed it, soothed it. "Don't hold, back, let me, do this." "Thank you." "What for?" "Everything," she breathed, raking his back, drawing him in. "Shhhh," he kissed her neck, lips against her ear, "don't thank me, feel me." And for a time, that was all she did.

Scully woke up sometime past midnight to moonlight filtering through a crack in the blinds. The light cast a blue glow over his face, drawing the story of his life in a secret language of lines and cracks. How would they look like, if she was there to watch them grow, would there be less of them, or more? How many cracks formed, because there was no one to hold him, which lines were ruts, carved by the same old jokes. She touched his cheek and he shifted, arm falling around her without thinking. "I hope you'll forgive me," she whispered, brushing his lips lightly and the arm tightened around her, drawing her in.

#generous donation #au #x files fanfic #sweet nothings

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pumpkinspicelexatte · 7 years

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*puts on scientist goggles* EVERY QUESTION

Random and personal questions Redacted abusers from history

1. Name:Amy Brianna Rose Meadows

2. Birthplace:Worksop

3. Ancestry: I have zero idea but apparently i have some irish family lol is all i know

4. Zodiac Sign: Gemini

5. Biggest fear:Tied between getting older and people I love abandoning me

6. Strength/Weakness: Loyalty/Stubbornness

7. Worst habit:Eating salt packets whole?

8. Favorite holiday: Halloween I guess?

9. Ever been in a car crash: Nope

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: So many times

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: Check tumblr lol

12. Age at first kiss:25

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: I wanna say 11 ish?

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long:

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Be happier

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sending my girlfriend a birthday message and listening to the new paramore album

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: today with @janes-nature-garden “I guess you just have internalized drumphobia”

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: @allisbornagain

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: yesterday as in thursday i guess, either @allisbornagain is so cute or why are there chickens

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: I guess the cinerma with my first ever girlfriend grace when i was like 13 lol

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen:I have never

22. Who did you see in concert first:Thursday when they opened for MCR

23. Who was your favorite teacher:Jemma my college biology twacher

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

25. Who do you think about most: @adorablyamy or @allisbornagain or @janes-nature-garden

26. Is your ideal occupation? If i didn’t suck at it a writer of some kind

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? I guess wine

28. Favourite restaurant? Firezza in soho is amazing but i’ve been to so many good places recently

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Dairy free soy vanilla

30. McDonlads or Burger King? Burger king

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? Alexa bliss, Poppy, Lana del rey, Hayley williams

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? lots of time, Probably the night me and jane did karaoke

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? probably karaoke with Jane lol

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? I have no idea

35. How many pets do you have? Does a vulpix count? :p

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? A house so i could live with my girlfriends

37. When was the first time you smoked? Technically age 2 or 3 lol

38. Who last sent you a text? Jane

39. Who did you last send a text to? Jane

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? Sattelite internet, water purifier, phone , solar charger

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? @allisbornagain @janes-nature-garden @truetrashsoulrebel

42. Favorite song? Right now it’s idle worship by paramore

43. Favorite movie? The disappearance of haruhi suzumiya

44. When did you last cuddle someone? today

45. When did you last have sex? I guess technically wednesday although weird feels lol

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? Internet stuff for money lol

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? That i’ll never be able to be a girl

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? I have no idea

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? I guess there’s one online one where i still love them a whole lot and i just can’t get past it

50. Where would you take a road trip? I have no idea

51. How do Mondays feel for you? alright

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? i dont know

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? self loathing mostly lol

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? Escaping an awful abuser?

55. What scares you about your future? Money and fascism

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? Because delivery bags are square?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? no idea

58. How does it feel to be photographed? nice sometimes

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? A certain night in november

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? Nope bpd is hell

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? I’m kinda bad at just trying to please others

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? Something useful and good like volunteer

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? Actually feeling like i have a chance to live

64. Do you have same sex gender fantasies? Always

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? Not quite but there was a bus station with em

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? lol yep

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 27

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 21

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? as a polyam i can choose both right? :p

70. How tall are you? 6′3 ish

71. How much do you weigh? I have no idea, I avoid because ed related reasons

72. What color is your hair naturally? dark blonde/ light brown?

73. What size jeans do you wear? 16?

74. What is your favorite color to wear? pink or black

75. Do you have any piercings? nope

76. Do you have any tattoos? nope

77. Do you care how other people see you? very yes

78. Do you like sports? eh not really, thanks to certain podcast hosts i have a slight interest in mma lol

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships? mostly fine as long as everyone is over 18 although huge age differences particularly way older men scream creepy power dynamic

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships? why would that be an issue????

81. Do you believe in karma or fate? very yes

82. Do you keep a journal? nope

83. Describe the last dream you remember: making out with a tumblr follower, although one i interact more with on twitter lol

84. Describe your favorite dream:

85. Where are some places you would like to visit? Arctic to see aurora, Japan with em tbh

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? not really

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? paramore, lana , poppy

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad? paramore , lana, poppy, melanie martinez

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? not really

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? wine

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? prosecco is good atm lol

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? only when jane gives me them :p i have before

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? All my friends are good, but i guess Jane has a best friend feel?

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? a few

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? seems dangerous :p I’d fall in the shower lol

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex gender?I have only

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you?ew

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you?no cause thats all i’ve done , well mostly , i’ve dated some nb people

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? Amazing

101. How often do you brush your teeth?Daily, thanks exec dysfunction

102. How often do you shower? When was the last time you had a shower? most days , today

103. How often do you shave your legs?weekly?

104. Political affiliation? not sure

105. Opinion on abortion? let people do what they want /need with their bodies

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? immigrants are in no way a bad thing

107. Should prostitution be legalized? very yes

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? if i could choose? like 19

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Capitalism?

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? make men not in charge

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Something involving looking after pets?

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? yes

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? italy seems nice i guess?

114. Why are you the person you are? Abuse and trauma?

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Kinda although im super needy

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? they don’t really,

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? do my comfort things in public, be visibly trans

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? not really

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? she laughs at the tube station euston cause of euston we have a problem

120. Want someone back in your life? Not anyone who would be good

121. What are you excited for? My chewable necklace thing

122. Are you scared to fall in love? not any more thanks to @allisbornagain

123. When is your next road trip? never?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? message em?

125. Do you like to cuddle? very yes

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? I’ve kissed two people within five seconds of each other

127. Plans for tomorrow? Rest i’ve been told

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? can’t care too much so just enough

129. How is life going for you right now? okay to good in different aspects

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? sure

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? probably @catnip-brownies :p

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? yep

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? shapeshifiting seems fun

134. Background on your cell phone? Me jane and em

135. What are you thinking about right this second? Girlfriends

136. Last book you read? How was it? The sigh of haruhi suzumiya pretty good

137. What is the last thing you bought? food

138. Do you live with your parents? nope

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? nah my parents never cared

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? nope

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? fun and loud

142. What are you like when you’re high? emotional

143. Do you want children? idk

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

147. Who was your first real crush? Lauren styles a blonde girl who moved to where i lived from croydon,

148. What are you allergic to? some antiallergy meds

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Meadow Meadows

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? girl prolly

151. How did you get your name? i chose it , inspired by someone who saved me

152. Name one thing about your body you love? My butt is pretty nice

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and help people I care about be happy

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? is hate a feeling?

155. Do you think aliens are real? yeah

156. What age did you start drinking? I guess 14 on a school trip to italy?

157. What do you think of President Obama? I don’t know enough about politics nevermind american ones

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yep , nearing 6 months and 5.5 months with my gfs :)

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? furryish cute, weird, gay

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? Weiss schnee right now

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 1274 , 215 ish , 50

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? hahahahahhahahahahhahahah no

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person?

171. Do you talk to yourself? Always, in the third person referring to myself as aimz , amyface, amykins or aimster lol

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 26 ew

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? On tumblr

174. Do you have any hickies?i have never

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

179. How many siblings do you have? one sister

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? ew yes

#allisbornagain

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letsprayitwritesitself · 7 years

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how jack and davey accidentally (and then not) ended up spending all their valentines days together

February 14th 2014

davey

will u hate me if i ask if ur free rn

why would i hate you

i dont want to assume

happy v day

wow jack

i’m actually on two dates right now

mrs doubtfire style

what’s up

she dumped me

on the phone

half an hour ago

come over

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Davey led Jack through to the living room, glancing cautiously over his shoulder to try and gauge his friend’s mood.

‘No. Yeah. Not really.’ Jack slumped on the couch, clutching his paper grocery bag to his chest. Davey perched on the armrest. ‘I just. Like, I knew it wasn’t serious, whatever. But you can have a fun valentines with someone you’re not serious about! I did it all the time in middle school!’

‘Maybe she thought it was a bigger deal than it was?’

‘That’s what I tried to tell her! But you can’t try and convince a girl to go out with you when she doesn’t want to. Learnt that in middle school, too.’

‘So it’s over?’

‘I think so. She said that she got the impression we were moving too fast - which we weren’t - and she wanted to cool off.’

‘That’s not the end of the world, right?’

‘Nah. I don’t know. How many good relationships start like that?’

‘I think valentines must have just freaked her out, Jack. Happens to a lot of people.’

‘We’ll see. I’m thinking I’m maybe just a little infatuated with her, right? Talk to me in a few days and I’ll be back to normal.’

‘So tonight isn’t an I-hate-girls-bros-before-hos thing?’

‘Almost. Still want you to indulge me.’ Jack tipped up the bag on to the couch. A pint of ice cream, a six pack of beer, and a thing of chips ahoy bounced out.

‘I actually found my copy of Mrs. Doubtfire. Thought it might help.’

‘God damn it. It’s perfect.’ He grabbed the DVD from Davey and started setting it up while Davey headed into the kitchen. He called through. ‘And Dave?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Anyone asks, we both had smoking hot dates for tonight, alright? And not with each other.’

‘Got it.’

‘Stop hogging it, oh my god.’

‘Shut up, you’re making me miss it!’

‘You know what happens, Dave! Gimme.’ Jack grabbed the tub and triumphantly started digging out some cookie dough. Davey let him have it. They had sunk down into the couch under Davey’s comforter with a million pillows for company. Orange street light filtered through the blinds. It was only nine o clock.

‘Forgot to ask the most important question, Davey Jacobs.’ Jack poked him with the end of his spoon. ‘Why don’t you have plans tonight?’

‘Ah. Like, I kind of... I don’t know. Don’t wanna force plans just cause of the day, you know? If I had a person, that’d be great. But I don’t, so. Just another Friday!’

‘No-one caught your eye?’

‘Not really? I mean. The guy who gets my coffee at Starbucks every morning, like, we’re on semi-first name terms. But then, he wears a name badge, so. Yeah, no-one. But I don’t mind!’

‘You don’t wanna be set up or anything, right?’

‘God, no. What happens, happens. What doesn’t doesn’t.’

‘So fricken mature, Jacobs. Shame we can’t all be Race and Spot.’

‘What, fall in love after making eye contact but pretend to be casual?’

‘You know Spot made them a reservation for tonight? He made it in October.’

‘Oh, my heart. See, that’s the thing. If I found someone the way those two did, then I’d do the Valentines thing. ‘Til then I’m saving all the stress of... trying to romance someone.’

‘And you get to hang out with me.’

‘Oh yeah. How much am I getting paid for babysitting again?’

‘Funny guy, Davey. Now, listen, cuz this is important.’

‘Shoot.’

‘Do you have Aladdin?’

‘Of course I have Aladdin.’

February 14th 2015

‘And he said that going out on Valentines day felt too much like forcing something to happen. I swear to god. Can’t make eye contact with anyone whole month of February or they’ll think you’re trying to marry ‘em.’

‘So you’re not going out at all?’

‘We’re going out tomorrow. I mean. One day different! Same bar, same drink, same Jack Kelly trying to get into his pants. Just twenty four hours difference.’

‘It’s nice that you didn’t let this quirk stop you from trying to get laid.’

‘He’s still pretty much the hottest guy I know.’

‘Do you know what he’s doing tonight?’

‘I bet you anything he’s doing that kind of... the thing where you burn your ex’s underwear. Polaroids.’

‘Way less cliche than our Valentines day spent scarfing ice cream and pretending we weren’t crying over Robin Williams.’

‘God. Palentine’s day 2014. That should be a thing.’

‘That should be a thing!’

‘I mean. It’s slightly becoming a thing.’ Jack tipped out his backpack to reveal an exact duplicate of their snacks from the year before. ‘Can’t lie, Dave, I’m starting to wonder if this is better than doing real Valentines.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Not that, you know, I’m triumphant that you’ve been abandoned or anything.’

‘Oh, of course not. Your cheer on the other end of the phone said that much.’

‘When’s he back?’

‘Tomorrow.’

Davey’s Starbucks barista had turned into Davey’s something else, asking him out the day he quit the coffee shop to put his marketing degree to use. Davey, shocked that his idle daydreams about this guy who made his coffee could actually be manifested in real life, said yes.

Well, it was before his coffee, so he had actually said something like uhhwhatyeahsureyes.

And that had been eight months previous. Evan had slotted effortlessly into Davey’s life, doing the date thing, meeting his parents, weekends away, only kind of slightly stealing Davey from Jack (like that was the kind of thing Jack would notice anyway.)

Because Jack had, since the last Valentine’s day, well - he had almost become involved with a number of people. Unsure what he wanted, he went on dates, slept with people, not always in that order, flirted with girls and guys on a daily basis and even started tipping his baristas more after seeing Davey’s success - but he hadn’t found his person. That was okay, he didn’t mind. He was still a kid, in his head. He had forever to be tied down. Did miss hanging out with Davey, though.

So when Davey had phoned to say that Evan had been called away last minute for an overnight conference, it took Jack roughly two seconds to get excited about reprising their bittersweet Robin Williams carb fest from the year before. He, of course, waited before posing it, listening to Davey whine just a little about how he was going to miss Evan, before picking the right moment to tell Davey about the guy he’d asked out - the one who told him any day but Valentine’s. And so they found themselves again on Davey’s couch, illuminated by the TV, slumped in onesies, digging into some Ben and Jerry’s.

‘Got him anything good?’

‘I got him this gin he likes. Some socks. I’m... I’m thinking about giving him a key.’

‘A key?’

‘I mean, like, to my apartment. Not just a random key.’

‘You’re so fuckin... grown up.’

‘I know!’ Davey looked over at Jack, grinning. Jack was enraptured by the TV. The lion was chasing the kids through the house.

‘I really hate this part. Terrified me when I was a kid.’

‘Me too.’ Davey turned back to the screen. Between them somewhere on the comforter, his phone lit up, drawing both their attentions.

Evan Abrams facetime.

Davey looked up at Jack, who was staring at the phone. ‘Sorry, Jack. I’ll be quick, okay?’

‘Ah, you crazy kids.’ Jack picked up the cookies and paused the movie as Davey picked up the call, hurrying into the kitchen.

Things that weren’t weird: getting annoyed when your best friend’s boyfriend interrupted your Valentine’s bro date.

Even as he thought this, he had trouble believing it.

February 14th 2016

Wait -

January 20th 2016

Jack’s place. Wednesday night. Home from work. Long day. Roommate out. Slippers and Mad Men. Around nine, a knock on the door.

Davey stood, leaning against the wall, eyes red rimmed, staring into space. Jack watched him bite his lip, blink, open his mouth.

‘He’s been sleeping with his boss. For about a year, now.’ He looked up and into Jack’s eyes. ‘It’s over.’

It was freezing cold and it had been dark for hours. Jack opened his arms and Davey swayed forward into them, hiding his face in Jack’s neck, leaning on him as Jack squeezed him tight. Jack realised, as he stared out into the street and thought about the hollow, manic look in Davey’s eyes, he’d never seen his best friend cry. Davey felt almost horrible in his arms, stiff and shuddering.

‘Come on, you’re freezing.’

Davey followed him in silently, collapsing heavily on the couch when Jack gestured for him to sit.

‘Do you wanna talk about it? You don’t have to.’

He knew Evan was a shit. Well. He didn’t really. But he had definitely thought that Evan’s whole thing reeked of too-good-to-be-true - a marketing exec who wore fitted suits and didn’t believe in lazy Sundays. And he combed his hair every single day, like, what was that? That is to say that he could see why Davey had fallen for him, but from the outside looking in? Davey could do better. Evan wasn’t... real. That was it. Evan’s demeanour was always so practised and so perfect that it made total sense he would be hiding something huge. Not that Jack would tell Davey this.

‘We went out tonight. To the bar on Elizabeth Street. And, um.’ Davey rubbed his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. ‘We had like five or six rounds. I think maybe he wanted to be drunk. I am. Shit. So drunk.’ He squinted out into the room. Jack was sitting next to him on the couch, watching him sink into the cushions. ‘And then he just came out with it. We must have been in this bar talking like everything was okay for two hours before he said it. The conferences. Like, they were real. But his boss was there too. I feel like such a...’ Davey covered his face with his hands. ‘I can’t believe I thought I was enough for him.’

February 14th 2016

‘So I’ve got Hook, Dead Poet’s Society, and Night at the Museum,’ Davey announced as he walked in. ‘We thinking chronological, alphabetical?’

‘Reverse alphabetical. I need to warm up with Night at the Museum before I can even think about those fricken dead poets.’

Over the last twelve months Jack had enjoyed a number of romantic encounters. He’d gone steady with one girl for two months and even enjoyed a couple of fourth dates with different people before the inevitable fizzling started. Still not desperate he’d tried to focus on his art and maybe finding a better job than his restaurant gig, sure that when a person that was right for him came along, he’d know about it.

Over the last twelve months Davey had been going from strength to strength with Evan. They had moved in together, merged DVD collections, all that good stuff. This had given Jack a lot of time to think about why he just... didn’t love Evan, and he had come up with a fair few reasons. The most troubling of these came as a slow realisation that Davey was too good for him. Way too good.

He started measuring up potential dates next to Davey. Started to get these little twinges in his stomach when Davey entered the room. And it felt good to indulge so he started to let himself stare a little at Davey’s mouth when he talked, his hands when he wrote or held a beer or just kind of anything, his face just all the time but especially when he got excited about stuff.

That’s to say that Jack had been harbouring a very minor, very unimportant... crush for about eight or nine months now. But it was fine. Because Davey was with someone. And their friendship was important to him. It made way more sense for them to stay friends while they dated and had sex with and broke up with other people - Relationships were messy.

He wasn’t happy per se when Davey and Evan ended things, but he knew that Davey was better off out of it. And he hated that as he sat consoling Davey the night it happened, he was trying to make sense of his feelings for him.

He kept Valentine’s free on purpose, excited that it was theirs, with or without romantic complications.

Valentine’s day fell about three weeks after Davey broke up with Evan. Evan’s stuff was gone from his apartment, selfies deleted from his phone, new hangout spots found that wouldn’t remind him of their time together. It was hard trying to get used to being single so quickly - he noticed the lack of welcoming kisses to come home to, and the casual lingering touches. He missed them, even if he knew that most of their relationship had been built on lies. But Jack was an excellent ally in single life, and having their newfound Valentine’s day tradition definitely helped take the sting out.

‘You’re so smart.' He put the movie in and took his seat next to Jack. Jack handed him a beer. Easy, reliable, comfortable silence.

Or it was comfortable silence, until an hour into the movie when Jack realised Davey had barely made a noise - not even a quiet huff of laughter. He looked across to see Davey focused on his drink, silently tapping a fingertip against the neck of the bottle, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

‘Dave?’

‘Mmm?’

‘What’s up?’

‘What? Nothing. Sorry.’

‘Come on.’

‘I just. I miss him. And I know I shouldn’t. I know he was an asshole. Still.’

‘That’s natural. It takes time, right?’

‘Right. Right. It’s just - crazy how you can be with someone. And then just. Not.’

Jack had tried so hard to tell Davey how the problem wasn’t with him - it was with Evan not knowing what a good thing he had. And yet dumb Davey kept thinking that if he had done something differently, been someone else, Evan wouldn’t have cheated on him. Jack just... wanted Davey to understand how perfect he was.

‘I’m sorry. I know I’m being really boring.’

Because the thing was that Davey would always carry this little flame of self-doubt, if Jack didn’t try his hardest to extinguish it. He’d always think that he needed to be more than he was, instead of being able to trust that the other person liked him anyway. How to let Davey know without pushing it?

‘Hey now. Shut up. You’re allowed to be emo, Dave.’ Jack paused the movie and stood up. ‘Come on. Get up.’

‘What?’

‘Up! We’re going out.’

‘Out where?’

‘Just outside for five minutes, Davey. Trust me, come on.’

Davey stared up at him from the couch, intrigued, sceptical, and aware that Jack was a stubborn asshole and thus inclined to co-operate.

They walked around the block, Jack leading Davey through comically exaggerated breathing exercises that sounded like they’d come from a second-rate birthing instructor.

‘Breathe out that negative energy and low self-esteem and bullshit... Breathe in the potential of the city, and the - the romance in the air, and I don’t fuckin know, the moonlight.’

Davey snorted. ‘The moonlight?’

‘I’m tryin’ my best!’

The smile was foreign and amazing on Davey’s face. They were standing outside his front door. Jack in front of him, lit up from behind by a streetlight, took Davey’s shoulders in his hands.

‘Davey, listen up. You’re the best guy I know. It really hurts to see you so cut up about this. But I know it won’t be long ‘til you meet someone better, who sees how important and special you are, alright? ‘Til then you’re stuck with me, of course, but beggars can’t be choosers.’ He watched Davey for his reaction. Had he gone too far?

Davey pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around Jack and squeezed tight, sagging into him when Jack hugged back. He kept kept kept holding Jack for a couple of minutes, like he was trying to figure something out about the way their chests were pressed together. The longer they stood there together the more Jack started to wonder if he was really on to something, and if Davey was beginning to understand. He would never try to push his best friend into anything he wasn’t ready for and hell, maybe didn’t even want - but this closeness, it said something. Their breathing synced up. Jack could feel warmth radiating from Davey’s skin.

Davey took half a step back, like he was thinking about maybe preparing to end the hug. Their faces next to each other, heads in woolly hats connected temple to temple, Jack’s scratchy stubble on his cheek. He spoke into Jack’s ear.

‘Thanks, Jack.’

Jack smiled bittersweet, thinking that he’d stay in this embrace as long as Davey would let him. Davey inched back, just a little, and all Jack could comprehend was how their mouths were mere inches apart, centimetres even. Was Davey - could they -?

Davey didn’t know what he was doing. He was fizzing inside from Jack’s words and had hugged him to say thank you, but there was something in how Jack’s arms effortlessly held him so tight and for so long, that made him want to stay forever. Jack’s skin against his, Jack’s breath on his ear, his familiar smell. He had always been there.

He rested their foreheads together and Jack didn’t stop him. ‘Jack.’

Jack’s eyes were trained on Davey’s mouth. This was new. They were edging out of friend territory. He barely had the presence of mind to wonder if Davey should even be thinking about kissing him - he was too busy hoping that he was.

When they finally kissed it was sweet and searching and only lasted a couple of seconds. Jack didn’t want to push and Davey was still unsure. It was sublime. A moment of tentatively pressing their lips together followed by another of Davey chasing the sensation, bringing one hand round to cup Jack’s cheek, check he was real. When Jack pulled back, his breath hitched at Davey’s shining eyes. He dared to touch Davey’s face, run his fingertips down his cheek and over his lips.

‘Now you know.’ It came out a whisper. Davey nodded, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in.

‘We should get inside.’ They finally stepped away from each other, but before leading Jack back in Davey reached out, picking up his hand and holding it tight.

February 14th 2017

Jack combed his fingers through Davey’s hair, grinning at the sated, sleepy expression on his face. Davey blushed under the gaze of his gross, sweaty boyfriend, pulling him down for a long kiss.

They had woken up the morning of February 15th 2016 the way they always did, tangled up in a comforter on Davey’s couch, sun struggling through the curtains to land on their faces. Usually, however, they weren’t tangled up in each other at the same time. The night before had seen them muddle through their emotions in a halting conversation which saw Davey admitting that being close to Jack felt right, and natural, and normal. This admittance led to Jack readily opening his arms again and letting a confused Davey lay his head on his chest. In the twilight nothing seemed solid. They could deal with it all later.

Davey, off to work at eight thirty, left Jack sound asleep, texting him instead of waking him.

can we hang out later? ok if you’re busy. let me know when you finish work.

Three hundred and sixty five days of taking it slow later and Jack was still trying to show Davey how their leap of faith was worth it, a fact Davey well knew, but he wasn’t about to stifle Jack’s enthusiasm. Having Jack Kelly as a boyfriend was like having a cheerleader and a lover all rolled into one best-friend-shaped package and yes, Davey had been reticent at the start, so soon after breaking up with Evan, but Jack had been patient, and sincere, and suddenly it was already their first anniversary.

It was only 10pm when they got home from their meal, Jack having beaten even Spot in booking them a table months in advance, and around midnight when they collapsed on to Davey’s bed, exhausted, thrilled, and very naked.

‘I love you so god damn much.’ How good it felt to finally say those words out loud instead of screaming them in his head!

‘I love you too, you giant nerd.’ Davey gripped Jack’s hand to his chest. ‘I’m really glad we started that Valentine’s thing three years ago, too. I keep thinking how happy I am that girl dumped you.’

‘You sweet talker, Dave. I actually keep thinking about how we never finished that movie last year.’

‘Night at the Museum?’

‘That’s the one.’ Jack raised his eyebrows. ‘Seems a shame to discard our old traditions just ‘cause we’ve found some new activities.’

‘You’re serious? Naked Palentine’s day?’

‘Yes! Get your ass up!’ Jack jumped up, whisking away the comforter from where it had been kicked to the foot of the bed. He reached out to pull Davey up. ‘Come on, those nights were almost perfect, right?’

‘Almost perfect?’

‘Too many clothes.’ He wrapped the comforter around their shoulders and they padded as one into the living room.

#newsies #javid #newsies fic #jack kelly #davey jacobs #cant believe how long this fuckin took me to write #like its not even v day where i live anymore but its ok because it still is in new york

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