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zigtheeortega · 4 years

Audio

ride or die playlist

by @pixeljazzy and @zigtheeortega

so after pj made this post, and was encouraged by @choicesarehard to make a playlist for rodaw, i reached out to her and we decided to collab! this is a comprehensive playlist, with explanations for each song. some being the lyrics fit really well, but others are because the vibe fits the characters (in our opinion), not necessarily the song meaning.

putting the song explanations under the cut, since it’ll be long! songs picked by pj have [p] next to it and mine have [j] next to it! hope you enjoy it!

Logan

What You Know Bout Love, Pop Smoke [p]

I had to apply the pressure, ‘cause you my hidden treasure / I think I’m falling in love

Are we surprised this song is first? C’mon now. Anyway, literally when I heard it for the first time, I was like this is the love song that I could see someone just vibing to in a car with their partner, at a house party in the corner serenading their boo, etc. and then BOOM a vision of Hieron and Logan in a car appeared because I could totally see this as their vibe. Just the thought of Logan rapping this line to Hieron clears my skin.

[p.s. pj wrote a fic based on this song and it’s perfect you should read it]

The Way, Trippie Redd ft. Russ [p]

We’re lost but, babe, we found the way

Because Logan and MC are two teens are a mess lowkey and don’t know what they want from life quite yet but they know they got it together.

Think About Me, dvsn [p]

This song is just radiating Logan and MC parting ways vibes

FIND MY WAY, DaBaby [p]

I feel like as Logan is driving away from MC to god knows where, this is something he’d definitely drive to

Seasons, 6lack ft. Khalid [p]

You’re lucky the greatest thing I can do is marry you / ‘cause if I could, I’d spill my blood

I absolutely adore this slow, chill song, and feel like this is something MC and Logan would be listening to as they unwind in their loft, and with the favorite line, I think it encapsulates how much Logan truly loves and would do anything for MC

Idfc, blackbear [p]

This is giving me Logan vibes after the reveal where MC leaves the shop and he’s just reeling in his emotions and feelings and is just purely in his bag thinking about everything

Hide, Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn [p]

Really think I found my home, shorty made me feel at home

Think I met my soulmate, yeah, I know it

Dusk Till Dawn, ZAYN ft. Sia [p]

But you’ll never be alone / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / Baby, I’m right here

This song hurts me so so much but it’s giving me MC sleeping on Logan’s chest type of vibes while he’s up because he can’t sleep and he’ . Also reminds me of Logan because we all know that infamous line “I was just a rock in space lucky enough to burn up in your atmosphere for a moment,” and I feel like this was an unspoken if you look to the stars you’ll know I’m always with you type beat.

Fool In Love, Rihanna [p]

Mama, I found a man / who loves me and understands / papa, he’s quite a man / he adores me, he’s my biggest fan

Okay so y’all remember how MC was having a mini identity crisis and didn’t know which version of herself she was? And Logan was listening and understanding and processing everything she was ranting about but in the end was just like no matter which one you decide, I like all of you? Yeah, that. Along with him just supporting her whenever he can, even though sometimes it can be overbearing, and him just loving watching her change and grow before his eyes (even though we not gonna mention the part of him that doesn’t love that change, feeling guilty for the person she’s becoming and how it could change her life, and the initial intentions he had although how he feels now is genuine) is literally what I think about with these lines

And don’t get me wrong, I know he’s not perfect in your eyes / but somehow he’s flawless in mine

Papa, did I let you down? / Are you ashamed of how your little girl turned out?

This is the lyric that really gets me because one of the things I loved about Ride or Die was the complicated relationship MC had with her father as it was something that resonated so strongly with me. So this one right here really just encapsulates an aspect of that because when MC’s on her this is who I am now and I know you resent that because he genuinely is so hurt and in shock of how his girl changed before his eyes, beyond the reigns of control that he once had, and he can’t do anything else but process and accept that his little girl isn’t so little anymore, rolling around with the people he tried so hard to keep her away from.

Roll Dice, Roddy Rich [j]

I seen the Reap’ come / Live my life I had to roll dice / Been through strife, my heart is cold as ice

I’m a star, I’m just hidden in the low light

Pretty explanatory, considering Logan’s been through a considerable amount of situations that put him in harm’s way and he’s come out stronger (and considerably more detached) each time.

Story Of Us, Tinashe [j]

Yeah, you’re the prince of my heart / And now there ain’t no way they can keep us apart, keep us apart

This song reminds me of Logan and MC a lot because it’s an optimistic take on their relationship as a whole and the sad ending.

You Know That I Love You, Donnell Jones [j]

You know that I love you / And that ain’t gon’ change / And though you’re not here with me now / My love for you stays the same

I think Logan would listen to R&B, specifically sappy 90’s R&B, and this line reminds me of them perfectly. I mean just listen to it, it’s perfect.

My Favorite Part, Mac Miller & Ariana Grande [j]

Said, you just don’t know how beautiful you are / And baby that’s my favorite part / You walk around so clueless to it all / Like nobody gonna break your heart

Said, the universe couldn’t keep us apart / Why would it even try?

Before things come together, they have to fall apart

Logan says from the get go that he thinks it’s wild that MC is modest and that he’s surprised she hadn’t gotten a lot of attention from guys. The other song lyrics I mentioned remind me a lot of their separation.

Colt

Me And My Girlfriend, Tupac Shakur [j]

Lost in the whirlwind, ninety-six, Bonnie and Clyde / Me and my girlfriend, do one-eighty-five when we ride

All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend / Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my girlfriend

So it’s canon that Colt likes West Coast rap – and this song absolutely embodies Colt’s musical interests and his relationship with MC. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he definitely heard this song and thought of MC.

Something Special, Pop Smoke [p]

I think you’re something special / I’ll take you on a shopping spree

We all know Colt is the king of LA and can definitely buy him and MC anything they want, also the “her father the police” verse quite literally hit the nail on the head

Martin & Gina, Polo G [p]

He was playing games / Got you dancing in the middle of the club

At first, saw this as a Logan and MC song to listen to in the car, but if you’re like me and was romancing Logan but danced in the club with Colt because Logan was being distant, the lyrics just do it for me

Hit ‘Em Up, Tupac Shakur [p]

You couldn’t tell us Colt wouldn’t love this song, we’re not accepting criticism at this time

Pulling Me Back, Chingy ft. Tyrese [j]

Every time I try to leave / Something keeps pulling me back, me back / Telling me I need you in my life / It was meant to be / You were meant for me / So that means we gotta make it work

This song reminds me a lot of Colt’s feelings towards MC, because in the lyrics they’re not mentioning they necessarily love her, they’re just gravitating towards her, realizing they need her. And that’s exactly how Colt works through his feelings.

Loveeeeeee Song, Rihanna ft. Future [j]

Boy lately, you been stingy with your time / Got me wondering, I’m wondering if I’m on your mind / Boy I just wanna be in your possession / You say I’m the one you want so come express it

Yeah, we all know Colt wasn’t straightforward with his feelings but is more prone to expressing himself physically, and I think this song feels like a confession of her own qualms with him but recognizing that she’s alright with him being physical over verbal. Honestly it’s probably not that deep but this song reminds me of Colt x MC so much.

Complicated, Rihanna [j]

Why is everything with you so complicated / Why do you make it hard to love you / Oh I hate it / ‘Cause if you really wanna be alone / I, will throw my hands up ‘Cause baby I tried

God this whole song is Colt and MC all over because he’s so wishy washy and doesn’t express himself properly.

90210, Travis Scott [j]

I think Colt and Logan would bump this and that’s my only reasoning.

Changed Up, Rae Sremmurd [j]

I think Logan and Colt both alike would bump this in their car and maybe relate to the lyrics and the general vibe of it.

Demons and Angels, A Boogie With a Hoodie ft. Juice WRLD [p]

I’m from the West Side, know not to play with us, yeah

I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle, I swear

Colt is quite literally from the West Side, and the ‘I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle’ line is what really stood out to me because Colt wanted nothing than to be a part of his father’s life and legacy, and Kaneko wanted to keep that separate from him because he knew Colt would be all in.

Run This Town, Jay-Z ft. Rihanna [p]

Does this need an explanation because you already know Colt is running the fuck outta LA thank you for tuning in

Mona

Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle [j]

You know that I’ve, I heard it all before / You’re hesitant, wish you could give me more

I don’t have the time / To teach you how to love all over again / Now let me ask you this / Are you giving all that you could give?

This is Mona and MC all over. She was clear about being hurt by an ex, and that it was hard for her to open up to MC in the first place, let alone fall for her. So this is like a confessional from MC to Mona.

Te Amo, Rihanna [j]

Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around my waist / I told her no, she cried Te amo / I told her I’m not gonna run away, but let me go / My soul is awry and without asking why / I said Te amo

The lyrics are sad but this reminds me of Mona and MC, too. There’s a lot of push and pull with Mona, so I think this describes their back and forth so well.

Scared of Love, Juice WRLD [p]

Not scared to love, just scared of love

I initially put this in the Logan section, but I think it’s more fitting for Mona because she put up these walls to avoid putting herself at risk in the process of giving someone her all after the last girl played her, but underneath it all, she’s still capable to love even though she may think she’s undeserving of it from MC or that love in itself is a scam.

ball w/o you, 21 Savage [p] [and j bc our minds are linked]

I’d rather have loyalty than love / ‘Cause love don’t really mean jack / See love is just a feeling / You can love somebody and still stab them in they back

This is giving me Mona and her ex vibes, and just how Mona is a very everyone for themselves type of person so she has no problem balling by herself because that’s what she expects in the end.

Escape, Akon and Wizkid [p]

We can run away / so far away, escape

Oh, my baby, oh, baby / I would never let you go

Okay I know our songs for Mona have been sad lately, but this reminds me of them because Mona said MC would be hard asf to forget and I already know MC is scrambling to find a solution, a possibility, where Mona didn’t have to go to jail and they’d be able to be together, hence ‘escape’.

Escape, Kehlani [p]

Strange for me to wanna love someone / Who’s better by themselves

‘Cause I can’t let you lose yourself, looking for me / And I can’t let you make me your, your everything

I know you see this escape theme I’m on here LMFAOO but I think this is in Mona’s perspective about MC because she’s like MC is a goody two shoes, new to this life, etc. just overall someone with a better future than me and I don’t wanna mess that up for them (hence the I’m dangerous and pushing her away in the beginning and all the warnings).

Acquainted, The Weeknd [p]

Baby, you’re no good / Cause they warned me ‘bout your type girl, I’ve been ducking left and right

To say that we’re in love is dangerous / But girl I’m so glad we’re acquainted

Can’t Remember to Forget You, Shakira ft. Rihanna [p and j]

I can’t remember to forget you / I keep forgetting I should let you go

“You’re gonna be damn hard to forget.”

This is so Mona because it’s both flexible in meaning with her ex and MC.

Don’t Make It Harder On Me, Chloe x Halle [j]

If you keep acting so sweet / I might just wake up and leave / This boy that I pinky swore / We’d be together for sure / I can’t be thinking of you / When I’m alone with my boo / If you smile at me again / I may do something stupid

Gives me Logan/Colt/Mona love triangle type vibes!

Who Can I Run To, Xscape [j]

Who can I run to, to share this empty space? / Who can I run to, When I need love? / Who can I run to, to fill this empty space with laughter?

After her li’s leave this def gives me those bittersweet vibes like when they all leave L.A., including MC for college.

Aston Martin Music, Rick Ross [j]

Bobbin’ to the music / This is how we do it, all night / Breezin’ down the freeway / Just me and my baby

Would’ve came back for you / I just needed time to do what I had to do / Caught in the life / I can’t let it go / Whether that’s right I won’t ever know

This reminds me of another bittersweet moment like MC is reflecting on her favorite times with her LI, but also acknowledging that her LI can’t be 100% loyal to her because of her lifestyle

Love Without Tragedy / Mother Mary, Rihanna [j]

Brown eyes, tuxedo, fast cars / A James Dean on the low, Dean on the low

Who knew the course of this one drive / Injured us fatally

Let’s live in the moment / As long as we got each other / Die in the moment / I’m prepared to die in the moment / ‘Cause even forever ain’t forever

This entire song fits for all the LI’s (despite the lyrics saying “boy” it works for all of them perfectly. I just picked a couple lyrics to prove it!

Question Existing, Rihanna [j]

Who am I living for?/ Is this my limit?/ Can I endure some more?/ Chances I’m given, question existing

Reminds me of when MC was torn between loyalty to her father and Jason Shaw and MPC at the same time.

Bed of Lies, Nicki Minaj ft. Skylar Grey [p]

This is 100% MC after the reveal.

Change Your Life, Kehlani ft. Jhene Aiko [p and j]

I heard that you a gangsta / Not one to try to save her / Always focus on your paper / Don't got time to wager with your heart

You deserve someone that'll take you to another level

The lyrics to this song fit so well with all of the LI’s. Definitely addresses all of the LI’s reluctance to be with MC and MC’s pursuit of them.

Serial Lover, Kehlani [p and j]

Lord knows / My intentions are pure and my heart full of gold, oh

This song fits MC’s relationship with all of the LI’s, especially when there’s conflict between them. MC is miles more transparent with her feelings than Logan, Colt, and Mona.

She’s So Gone, Naomi Scott [p]

So it looks like the joke’s on you / ‘cause the girl that you thought you knew / She’s so gone

You can look but you won’t see the girl I used to be, ‘cause she / she’s so gone, away / like history

Yes this is from Lemonade Mouth and yes I feel like this embodies MC perfectly!

Misc.

(this includes Ximena, Toby, side characters, the overall vibe of ROD, etc.)

Tints, Anderson .Paak ft. Kendrick Lamar [j]

Ridin’, ridin’, round that open street / I need tints / I need my windows tinted / I can’t be flying down that 110 with a bad bitch in my whip / I need tints

This reminds me a lot of Ximena and Toby because they’re so chill and carefree compared to the rest of the crew, and this song embodies that.

Nascar, Roddy Ricch [p]

Honestly, heard this song and thought I’d be perfect for another side show, or a racing song

We Don’t Luv Em, HoodRich Pablo Juan [p]

Another side show/racing song

DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, Usher [p]

I feel like this could’ve played at the club depending on the vibe they were going for, and even if they weren’t, I feel like the club was a very romantically charged event so the DJ had errbody falling in love (MC and whoever, Toby and the guy he went off to dance with, etc.)

break da law, 21 Savage [p]

Me and my dawgs break laws

This is Kaneko and the crew, even though Kaneko would never call them his dawgs, but you get the gist.

Trust Nobody, Lil Wayne ft. Adam Levine [p]

I don’t trust nobody, not my lovers, not my friends / I don’t make no promises ‘cause I know just how they’ll end / I don’t trust nobody, I don’t need nobody else / And as messed up as it sounds, I don’t even trust myself, yeah

This hurts me because the song talks about not being able to trust people in general so I feel like this has been Logan all his life, Mona after she was betrayed, and Colt after the death of his father (minus the don’t trust my lover part because obviously they are whipped for MC and you can’t change my mind).

Undercover, Kehlani [p]

You know they don’t wanna see us together / But it don’t matter, no, ‘cause I got you

Baby, they don’t wanna see me be happy / ‘Cause they ain’t happy, no -- they don’t got you

So this is MC with all the LI’s because everybody (Riya, Darius, her dad, etc.) thinks everyone in the crew is bad news but no matter who MC is with, they’re happy with them regardless of what everyone thinks.

Party Monster, The Weeknd [p]

Okay, this might seem really weird, but I feel like this is a song that would play in the background as the crew would plan or orchestrate a heist you know like the camera panning to different people just really focused on that they’re doing like there’s some camera work going on in my head that I wish I could properly articulate but I hope you guys see the vision.

Shut Up and Drive, Rihanna [p and j]

This is self explanatory.

#playchoices #rod logan #rod mona #colt kaneko #choices playlist #rodaw #playlist

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amalagam · 4 years

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hello. you Must listen to this gay ass playlist for the ocs who i ship the hardest both of which i’ve had for like a year but haven’t uploaded on tumblr or 8tracks until Now. their names are marjanah halim (the scarred one) and lyn ikari (the big one) and they’re in Love

tracklist under the cut.

los campesinos! - my year in lists

On your request, I compile a list / Of my top five resolutions for this year / I declined 'cause I decided that I do not believe in the New Year anymore / And you must confess that at times like these / Hopefulness is tantamount to hopelessness / I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you

fall out boy - favorite record

And when you ask, you ask me how I’m doing / Like you know, you know how much better off I am / And when we danced, we danced with windows down / And we danced, we danced

a.w. - how to be alone

Yeah, I’m tired of being angry and I’m tired of being strong / And I’m tired of being treated like it’s me who did you wrong / ‘Cause it’s almost been a year / I still think about that day / How I let you disappear / How you let me get away / No, I’ll never understand the things you could never say

mika - emily

Emily, see the price I have to pay / I would give my life away / If I knew that I could reach you / Emily, why d'you make this hard for me / It’s not the way it’s meant to be / I don’t ever wanna hate you

post malone & swae lee - sunflower

Needless to say, I keep her in check / She was all bad-bad, nevertheless / Callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck / Crash at my place, baby, you're a wreck / Every time I'm walkin' out / I can hear you tellin' me to turn around / Fightin' for my trust and you won't back down / Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh / I know you're scared of the unknown / You don't wanna be alone

lorde - supercut

In my head I do everything right / When you call, I forgive and not fight / Because ours are the moments I play in the dark / We were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart

foster the people - sit next to me

Last time I saw you, said “What’s up?” and pushed right through / Then I tried to catch you but we’re always on the move / Come over here and sit next to me / We can see where things go naturally / Just say the word and I’ll part the sea

blackbear - idfc

You been out all night, I don't know where you been / You slurring all your words, not making any sense / But I don't fucking care at all / 'Cause I have hella feelings for you / I act like I don't fucking care / 'Cause I'm so fucking scared / I'm only a fool for you / And maybe you're too good for me

a fine frenzy - electric twist

You should be wilder / You're no fun at all / Yeah, thanks for the input / Thanks for the call / She says "Don't think, don't talk" / But I don't think I want to / 'Cause you give me the electric twist / And it kicks, and it kicks like a pony / And true, you might run away with it / It's a risk, it's a risk, yeah

rival boys - i’ll believe in anything (wolf parade cover)

And I could take another hit for you / I could take away your trips from you / And I could take away the salt from your eyes / And take away the spitting salt in you / And I could give you my apologies / By handing over my neologies / And I could take away the shaking knees / And I could give you all the olive trees

king princess - ain’t together

And all this in between / You think it's hard for me to tell you're fallin' / Oh, we're fallin' / And bein' chill, bein' chill with you / Oh, it kills, I ain't chill at all, at all / We say "I love you," but we ain't together / Do you think labels make it taste much better? / And I can't watch this fall apart

smallpools - street fight

You've been driving through the desert / Talking to yourself / I'm supposed to make it right, so don't leave this way / You've been running with the devil / Swinging at your friends / If you say you're caught in a street fight / You need a lifeline / Go on and use me / I'll be your Bruce Lee

walk the moon - sidekick

And I often wonder why the things that I want are so hard to find / But I often fail to see the things that I need are right here by my side / Something in the air is giving me bad ideas / Something in the air is giving me dangerous thoughts like / Why don’t you stay at mine tonight? / Why don’t you stay with me and be my sidekick?

janelle monae - make me feel

Baby, don’t make me spell it out for you / All of the feelings that I've got for you / Can't be explained, but I can try for you / Yeah, baby, don't make me spell it out for you / You keep on asking me the same questions / And second-guessing all my intentions / Should know by the way I use my compression / That you've got the answer to my confessions

studio killers - jenny

I wanna ruin our friendship / We should be lovers instead / I don't know how to say this / 'Cause you're really my dearest friend / Jenny take my hand / We are more than friends / I will follow you until the end

lauv - i like me better

To be young and in love in New York City / To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me / I knew from the first time, I'd stay for a long time, 'cause / I like me better when I'm with you / Stay awhile, stay awhile, stay here with me

sia - never gonna leave me

We are anything but unremarkable / We found things we had given up on / Now I'm taking your love from above / You're here and you're never gonna leave me / I will carry you on for so long / Your love is never gonna leave me

#amalgams audio #amalgams articulations #Look At This.

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fuck-customers · 7 years

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idfc anymore

I was tempted to go anonymous but I am far too tired.

I haven't really made a post yet, I've just been following this blog for quite a while as a release as I'm sure is the same for most. But things have changed and I thought for the better, not so sure now.

this does not include the 2nd job I'd gotten WHILE working this one, which put me at 7 days a week, a little around 60 hours a week, for 9 months. That in itself was hell and requires an entirely different submission.

It'll probably get long so just scroll to the tl;dr at the bottom if you want idc.

When I had just graduated HS, I waited the summer out before applying for a job. I already knew I wasn't going to college - a 2.3GPA isn't going to get you anywhere, especially when you're in the working class just brushing the poverty line. Getting loans is not something I wanted to do either, since everyone I'd ever met, seen, or heard who'd gotten them were miserable fcks.

At the suggestion of a relative I dropped off my resume everywhere it interested me. I got hired. Things looked good. I bonded with one of the coworkers, wasn't so bad. But I was inexperienced. And their idea of 'training' was to send 3 different people from 3 different parts of the business to train me on their own time, separately, and then argue about it because either something was miscommunicated i.e I was taught to do something one way but another person said that was wrong so they'd scold me and then "re-teach" me. This went on for a few weeks.

Okay, cool, fine. Whatever. That's stupid, you do you. Shit kind of improves. But because of this miscommunication, I get a write up for talking to one of the co-workers about something I wasn't supposed to because technically they're NOT a coworker and I don't find out exactly what that means until later (paid under the table) nor was I told I couldn't speak to them about the fact that this random ass volunteer was not only getting in the way of my work, but was being a safety hazard for my clients, despite my many warnings and corrections. Because obviously we are a hive mind and I must know that 1. Do not speak to paid-under-the-table "employees" 2. Do not tell mentally unstable child to not crawl into bin and taunt clients 3. Especially do not ban him when he was spraying the hose nozzle directly at clients.

So I get a "strike". Boss lady holds out her fingers and ticks them off once by one, as If I had made a horrible grievance upon the business. I'd only been working there for a few months, I believe. Still early, still new. Still young, fresh out of HS.

A little back story cause I really feel this is integral to the story and hopefully for those with the same issues will look at this like "ye same" and those who haven't might be able to understand the following actions on the part of myself and others. Either way, here you go:

I've got diagnosed C-PTSD, Anxiety, Depression Bipolar, and ADHD. It has been heavily suggested I also fall along the Autism spectrum (by various doctors and nurses). I am also a victim of emotional, psychological, mental, and physical abuse (with a little stockholm I recently discovered, it's not something you yourself are generally aware of and now that I am it's ... It's worse than if I didn't know.), and I have been suffering with it for as long as I've been consciously aware to the present day. I don't always like to be so forthright with this kind of knowledge because there are quite a few people that either don't believe me, or then don't think I'm reliable enough to function and/or work. So it's usually best I don't.

And during the entire time of my employment there, I underwent a lot of manipulation and emotional abuse. A lot. By a person who believed they were doing a service for others.

The months go on. I continue to be mistreated but it doesn't get bad until my family decide they want to adopt from the shelter boss lady also happens to run. I'm at work and I am notified of the cutest little puppy who had just gotten surrendered. I immediately asked my parents if they'd like the foster (we'd been looking for a 'family dog'). Said yes but couldn't get down there. I said that's fine, I'll fill the paperwork out. So I go to the other side and I fill everything out, we're set. We go home later on and she fits in perfectly. We decide then we'll adopt her come morning when the shelter opens up again.

Morning comes, I'm about ready to walk out the door to go to work, but I'm sent a message from one of the coworkers. "Bring the puppy in" was essentially the message being sent. Puppy's mom had originally surrendered puppy because she couldn't find a place to live that would accept dogs. So she surrendered her. But then in the morning she found a place. What a moron. Anyway.

Boss lady accepted her to having her dog back. No communication to me other than "Bring the dog in". Well we were about to adopt. Essentially what this scenario was turning into was: You work for me, therefore I 1. Don't have to explain myself 2. You work for me 3. The dog is my property.

So I'm texting the coworker back and forth like "Uh I need a little more info, also my parents want to talk with the ACO". This takes way too long, I eventually get the number, mom and ACO have a chat. I thought it went well. Apparently it didn't. He was giving her the script, paraphrased and a little blase. Moms pissed, understandably. She blows it out of proportion, note she's a psychotic bitxch and does this often with everything involving life but I can see where she's coming from with this. I'm like alright well I have to go to work, good luck barring the doors from the "Police". We go to work and it's kind of fcked.

We open the doors and everyone goes silent and turns towards us, in the kind of way you know they were just talking about you. Cause we got everyone in one room. The Boss Lady, the girl txting me over the phone, the ACO, some unnamed volunteer[s]. It's fcking uncomfortable and idk whats going on. The coworker I'd been txting was known and a little too happy to gossip, run her mouth, and cause problems. I was not surprised this was what was going on, but it didn't make me any less pissed.

Boss Lady confronts relative who'd dropped me off at work. He barely says a word, just stares at her, while she's maybe a couple inches from him. She says things like "Don't stare at me like that, this is how it works" "They are MY property, and as MY property I CAN call the police and they WILL show up on your front door do you want that?" "Peeriet, go with him to get the dog so I know she's coming back." And other really really volatile bullshit. The fact that she called the puppy her PROPERTY, threatened to call the POLICE, like...I was there during all of these interactions. My texts were neutral and just asking questions, my moms convo with the ACO was really calm and easy, and the relative was doing nothing but standing there and staring as she went off her rocker. So.

I said no, I have to go to work, I'm not going with him to get the dog but he's going to get her. So he goes, I clock in, I leave.

I go to my job and vent to my coworker about the situation because I was still trying to wrap my head around it, when the ACO shows up wanting to have a private "chat."

The fcking conversation went something like this.

"So uh, you really care about your job, right?"

this fcking asshole was alluding, in so many words, probably to get the point across while also saving his ass so if I had gone to anyone saying he THREATENED MY POSITION OVER MY HEAD TO MAKE ME COOPERATE it may have been a problem. Wonder why.

So I said yeah, it's not even an issue also, they're bringing the dog back, etc. They'd even said because I filled out the application under my name that I was liable for anything to happen if it were to happen and that, because it's under my name, well, shucks, this is all your responsibility at the end of the day, we can wipe our hands clean and call it good.

Even though we were following the 'rules' and never once 1. Yelled 2. Caused a scene 3. Refused 4. Or threatened.

So that's settled. I thought. I go home and moms pissed. Que the next few weeks of absolute stupid shit storm via the internet by way of her leaving a trail of bad reviews. Of course this falls on me.

Everything my mom ever did or said, was my fault, as they "alluded" because we can't tell the truth in this business lest we be taken to court for whatever illegal activity we're probably doing behind closed doors.

So that started a whole new thing. They're hatred becomes amplified. Coworkers I'd bonded or befriended just outright stopped talking to me, barely acknowledging my precense and going to my manager for anything, including relaying messages to me. This did not stop for another 2 years.

So eventually things calm down, as calm as it could get. I continue to get harassed a lot, manipulated. I get injured at work fairly frequently, more than most - injuries that required medical treatment. I lied my first visit because it was after work. I was truthful the other time. I'd already been told by a few coworkers but Boss Lady specifically had a few special conversations with me about not telling any of my family I got injured at work, "Because you know how your mom is". They always spoke too sweetly, too nicely and feeding me excuses to cover up the real reasons. And I'd been so used to abuse my whole life that stockholm was bleeding into my work life and if anyone has ever fcking experienced that, it is fcking hell.

So I didn't tell anyone.

Until I'd gotten injured real bad. A dog had clamped full jaws onto my leg and shook. I had an indent for every tooth, including at least 3 deep punctures. I had it disinfected, shot a water missile into the punctures to make sure debris was out, wrapped, and given meds, orally and topically. I limped when I went home. And at the weekend went bye, I continued to get worse emotionally. I couldn't keep this a secret, I was experiencing actual physical pain because of the situation I'd been put under and I, mentally, could not cope. So I blew up in the kitchen. I had a meltdown, I showed my leg, I explained what happened, I said sorry but that I couldn't hide it anymore.

The next day or days at work I told boss lady I couldn't hide it. I just couldn't. She backpeddled, explained "Oh no no, you shouldn't feel like you have to hide it, I never said that." This was her keyphrase after being called out for every single threat, warning, and manipulation. "I never said that.". Because it was true. She didn't. She said it in a way that couldn't hold her accountable in any true legal situation.

Months go by. I continue with the abuse not just at home but at work now. Abuse most people wouldn't even consider was abuse, but unfortunately I'd been groomed for this sort of thing my entire life, so when it happened at work? I fit in so naturally I didn't even know it was abuse/wrong until I'd left.

And the real kicker is that she knew of my mental disorders. Because when stockholm had got me good, and I was especially tired, and I'd suffered some real hard shit at home, I'd break and I'd confess to boss lady in hopes of some kind of understanding: See, this is what I deal with, please don't mistreat me.

I wrote letters. I tried talking to her one on one. I tried working so hard at work to show how good I'd gotten.

Each letter was misunderstood. She'd bring me into her office after our oral talk and tell me that, because of what I'd written, I could be misunderstood, taken 'at my word.' "Well it says here that you don't ... want to work with your clients? Well if this is true then I legally can't have you with them. Because you wrote it. And legally I have to put this in your file." So I had to rewrite it, delete everything incriminating so I was left with my personal feelings.

Talking with her wasn't possible. She used tactics my mother does, so I physically couldn't talk, and I did, it was only "Sorrys" and "Thank yous" and accepting I was wrong and she was right and yes, I understand.

Working hard didn't work. I paid for my training personally and attended a school solely to improve. I kept making mistakes though. I wasn't good enough. I was doing some of the work my manager was with none of the pay, none of the acknowledgment or acceptance. I brought her in money, and clients, and good reviews, for nothing more than what I'd already had. Because she knew I wouldn't fight for it. Because she knew I'd continue giving her money and she didn't have to shell out anything more. And legally she didn't have to, because I had no experience, I was out of HS, and no official schooling.

But she'd always give me 'tidbits' of 'rewards'. The kicker for anyone with stockholm and/or abuse is you can basically continue to abuse them without too much issue if they 'reward' you and make it seem like they're doing you a favour. You know what I mean?

So she'd have occasionally 'positive' conversations, or she'd 'comment' something good about me, but I really loved when she'd give me a .50cent raise about twice in 2 years disguising it under her "charity" when it was probably because it was actually required. Cause in her office I was like "Why do I have a .50cent raise?" "Why are you asking, that's not something you normally ask when getting a raise." "???" "It's cause -....Just be thankful" Yeeee you see that? See that? How she almost said something but didn't? Yeah.

When she hired a new person they actually made about the same as me but more than another coworker, who'd been there longer, and when asked, boss lady said she basically didn't want to pay him if he wasn't sticking around (What kind of bullshit is that). He was. He corrected her, and his pay got fixed.

Again, months passed. Sometimes It'd be so good and I truly loved my job. I formed relationships with the clients to this day I can't think about because I get emotional. And every time she would critique me. Make things harder for us, she'd always be watching us on the cameras, and if she didn't see us, she'd assume we weren't working. She'd even come out of office to walk by just to watch us as she passed.

2 months ago she made some changes. She'd hired someone that was her irl friend. The entire business save 1 or 2 people, were connected either by blood, marriage, or irl friendship. Which wasn't a good thing.

So she hires this new manager. Does ok for maybe a week or two. But then they started making some changes. She redid how we did our payments and filed clients in a really convoluted way. We went back to the old system in a week.

Then she switched everyones schedules. Really inconveniently and without asking anyone for confirmation like she said. She never even spoke to me like she did the others.

Then she wanted opening crew to take our lunches back to back. Which made the early morning person take their lunch 6-7 hours after they'd already been clocked on, and me take mine only a couple hours after I'd been clocked on. Well, what about the afternoon crew?

Afternoon crew, as Boss lady told our manager and new morning crew person, didn't have to take a lunch now because of the new schedule. Which put him at over 5/5.5 hours anyway, despite the hour cut.

My hours were being cut. She'd just hired new manager and new morning crew, who'd taken over everything of mine previously. She'd also already fired a few people, and the new minimum wage mandatory increase was right around the corner.

I watched my hours. I waited. Few days pass. The next week comes, everyones on edge, I'm a fireball.

She tells us we're not allowed to keep our "belongings" with the rest of the other clients when we're on lunch. We must remove them into an entire separate room, because they would otherwise make our numbers higher (of total clients allowed in a space per person ratio) and thus become "illegal". We'd been seen by a health inspector twice in a year or so by request of a client who wasn't too keen on our 'policies'. Boss Lady was adamantly covering bases, which meant fcking everyone over.

It was kind of the last straw. I applied elsewhere, got accepted, and left. I spent 2 weeks after my last day literally going through a detox/withdrawal. I became physically ill. I had mental breakdowns about once every couple days. It was hell, it was horrible. I hated every minute of it.

Someone else left. A month later another person left. Several people that'd gotten hired have already been fired. And apparently a business too similar to the glory days of the place I'd left, has moved a couple blocks down the road to a second location.

I've gotten a new job, but It's only partially an improvement, and I am still affected everyday by the abuse I'd suffered at that place, coupled with everything I already go through at home. And I am tired, and I do this alone, and I've been looking for a place to move into for years but minimum wage isn't a livable wage.

I am tired.

tl;dr how tf do you even summarize that?

#submissions #fuck managers #submission

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viralhottopics · 7 years

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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.