#Makes it sadder in my eyes when martin isolated himself later

[ashes-in-a-jar]

How about #46 for the ask prompt 👀

From the kissing writing prompts post:

46. A lingering kiss before a long trip apart.

Hoo boy this one got long. Hope you enjoy it like I enjoyed writing it! Set sometime during episode 117

Martin felt Jon fidget restlessly next to him. The bench they found in the park near Jon's new apartment was hidden and secluded within a clump of trees and bushes, leaving them to contemplate their reality in the quiet late summer morning.

Jon had tentatively invited Martin for breakfast that morning which they shared in a café nearby then wandered in the park until they found this corner. They had unequivocally agreed that given the team's departure for Great Yarmouth that afternoon, there was no reason to clock into work. No reason at all.

The fear came and went in waves. Martin could feel it nagging at him even when he wasn't thinking about it. Sometimes it would be brought to the front of his thought and he'd nearly forget to breathe, doing his best to control the tremors that started in his hands and traveled down his spine.

When Jon invited him out that morning Martin readily agreed. His call woke Martin up as the first rays of sunlight had just begun filtering through his curtains, informing him that the departure had been delayed to that afternoon and that his morning was free and he wanted to see Martin.

They already did a sort of farewell the night before, sharing a dinner Jon had made both of them, talking much about nothing significant. They have been doing so a lot recently. The past month had seen a cautious approach from close friends towards a more significant relationship.

It began after Jon had returned from America having been kidnapped again. Since finding out, Martin stubbornly resolved to stick with him more closely than ever before. Making sure he wasn't alone as much, wasn't forgotten or disregarded. Jon deserved someone who cared for his whereabouts, someone who asked after him, someone who made sure he didn't disappear from the world anonymously and unloved. For a long time Martin felt as though it wasn't his place to be that person. He cared from afar, being accommodating when he thought was appropriate as a coworker. But enough is enough. He couldn't stand by as Jon was isolated and shunned for no reason other than being helplessly involved in a mess he never created. So Martin actively stuck close. And to his surprise, Jon stuck closer.

Jon did not push him away or dismiss his approach and frequent invitations to outings. Jon didn't ignore his nightly calls and constant texting when they were out of work. On the contrary. He would lengthen their calls, moving from one subject to another, prolonging their conversations to hours at a time. He not only agreed to go out, he would offer ideas for activities, inviting Martin on days Martin didn't invite him. He slowly and hesitantly drew closer and closer with each excursion, until one day, as they sat in Jon's living room to watch a movie, he slipped a small scarred hand into Martin's, tensely at first and when the surprised Martin did not pull away, he relaxed slowly, gradually melting onto Martin's side. To this day Martin doesn't remember how that movie ended.

They talked about it the day after. They agreed they both wanted to try it out, see where this... thing could go. Martin couldn't believe it was happening. Screw the impending doom of the world. Screw the dumb circus and screw their damned boss. Jon liked him back enough to want to try something new. And Martin has never been happier.

But the end of the world still loomed over them. Now it was time to deal with it. The deadline had finally been reached. And Martin was so afraid. For Jon. For himself. For the future of what they finally managed to create together.

As they sat there on the park bench, Martin suddenly remembered he had yet to record his statement at Jon's request. An awful thought surfaced unbidden in his mind that Jon might never even hear it at all, just because he left it to the last second. Once again he felt another wave of fear crash over him and he tightened his grip where it held Jon's arm.

Jon made a questioning sound, placing his free hand over Martin's white knuckled hold.

"Sorry." Martin mumbled. "I'm just..."

"I know." Jon said.

Martin blew out a frustrated sigh "It's... Why did it have to be us? Why does it have to be now? We just... Started and I don't know..." He felt suspiciously out of breath.

Jon seemed to notice. He tightened his hold one Martin's hand "Hey hey, i-it's okay. We're. We're going to be fine. Daisy has it all planned out and there is no reason it should go wrong. And your plan is solid too... We are prepared. We'll come back afterwards and I promise you when this whole damned thing is over we'll take a vacation. Just the two of us." He grinned. "Where would you like to go? Anywhere in the world."

Martin knew he was asking this to distract him and loved him all the more for it.

He sniffed and regained a bit of his composure. "I dunno. I've never been... Anywhere really. Never had time." Or the money, he didn't add.

"Let's start small then. I could take you to Bournemouth, see the ocean, look at the places I explored... And got caught exploring." He quirked a smile.

Martin snorted. "You? Breaking and entering? Who would have guessed."

"Apparently everyone." Jon muttered to himself.

Martin looked at him so fondly. The light filtering through the foliage fell on his brow, emphasizing his long lashes and dark complexion. He was so beautiful. Martin extracted his hand to place it gently on Jon's cheek. "I'd like that."

They stayed sitting quietly for another long while, Martin feeling a little calmer than before.

Then Jon moved to get up. "I-I think it's time. I'll need to leave now if I want to make it to the institute for the ride."

Martin sighed.

They got up reluctantly, and held each other's hands, having a hard time letting go.

Jon turned to face Martin, looking a mix of nervous and sad. He tilted his head up and looked searchingly at Martin. "Martin I-"

He was cut off when his lips were met with Martin's. He made a small sound but did not pull away.

Martin placed one hand on the back of Jon's head, the other holding him by the shoulder. He tasted of the blueberry muffin and tea they just had for breakfast, his thin lips soft and pliant. Jon leaned into Martin and Martin tightened his grip, desperate to commit to memory this moment, this feeling. How Jon felt against him.

They stood there for a long time, at some point the long and fervent kiss turning into a tight hug. Jon held onto Martin like a drowning man finding a floating piece of wood in a stormy sea. Martin squeezed him hard, feeling equally unmoored.

Finally, they let go. They looked at each other, Jon's eyes glistening suspiciously. Martin's were the same. They walked hand in hand back onto the street, where they had no choice but to go opposite ways.

Martin looked at Jon "Jon I... Please be safe." He couldn't say it. Not now. It was something they will talk about when Jon comes back. When everything will be alright again.

Jon looked at him in perfect understanding. "Yeah. You too."

With one final squeeze, Jon let go and began walking away. Martin stood there eyes following him as he began rounding the corner. Jon looked back one final time, an expression of pure affection on his face as gave a small wave and was gone.

Martin waved back too late. He sighed and turned back to head home. His mind and lips remembering the man he now watched leave towards a fate unknown. He desperately hoped their promises would be enough. It's all he could do now. Hope.

#A little bit of an hc here #That jon and martin got together in the month before the unknowing #Makes it sadder in my eyes when martin isolated himself later #:D #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #fabric rustles #tma fic #My tma fic #Ask #Kiss prompt #Happy valentine's day