#Pois.Writes

[poisonous-honey]

Fontaine Is Committing Childe Slander fr

Spoilers For The 4.2 Archon Quest

Content: Sagau reader insert (not the cult au), a lot of swearing

Note: Wrote this a while ago, just didn't post till now. This was written because of how frustrated I was with Childe's treatment in the quest. They did him so, so dirty.

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"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Hearing your scream, Neuvillette, Aether, and Paimon nearly flinched and gave themselves away if it wasn't for Skirk quickly turning around and staring them dead in their eyes.

"AFTER ALL OF THAT, WE DON'T EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM? WHAT THE HELL"

They never liked hearing you get upset, but since this was a scripted event, they could do nothing but play their parts. Aether wanted nothing more than to jump in and find Childe for you, if even just to get you to stop yelling, but his hands were tied. And seeing the intense look the lady across from him was giving, he doesn't think he'd be able to get away with it even if he tried.

"No 'hey, how're you doing? What's up? Where the fuck did you go? How did you end up fighting a god-damn space whale? I was worried.' We really get to say none of that? Skirk just throws him away like he's yesterday's trash? At least, I think that's Skirk... Okay, fine, whatever."

The group notices a slight twitch in Skrik's expression, as if she was annoyed, but it's gone not a moment later.

"Skirk I hope you're kinda funny cause this is a terrible first impression."

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Skirk watches as Neuvillette sends the traveller topside, hoping that he starts the scripted conversation without any hassle.

"Was it necessary to throw him so aggressively into the portal?"

Of course, that's not what happened. If Childe's mad ramblings were anything to go by, all of those that become the players "characters" seem to grow inexplicably attached to them. She didn't hold his words in high regard since he was insane, but seeing the hydro sovereign already taking a liking to you gives some weight to his words.

"He’s fine. It’s nothing he can’t handle."

Neuvillette, still looking troubled, tells her that you really wanted to see him again after nearly 2 years of nothing.

"Didn't you also upset the player when you pounced on him and sent him to prison for no good reason?"

Neuvillette gave a slight wince, "I had no other choice. The Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale gave the sentence and the law must be upheld."

Skirk doesn’t look amused, Neuvillette just sighs "... And the action itself was scripted. I had my hands tied."

"Then you have no right to look so troubled over my actions. It was simply scripted, nothing deeper. I would not intentionally go looking to upset the player, especially since they can control whoever they want. I have no desire to go back to the surface, which I would be forced to if they ever felt like messing with me."

He hums, "The player has much less control than you think. Even if they wanted to take control of you, they wouldn't or shouldn't be able to do so for quite a while. Falling into their good graces is the only way to get chosen, and you seem to have only just piqued their interest."

Neuvillette was just stating facts. He heard you crying about how your latest wishing session for Furina took everything you had. He doubts even if Skirk’s banner was a couple patches from now you'd have enough to get her. Skirk herself looks a little frustrated at the mention of gaining your favour, but quickly lets it go. 

"As long as I have time to prepare, I suppose. Anyway, We should have our scripted conversation before time runs out. Unless you want them to start freaking out again."

"Of course not, let us continue."

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"The fuck do you mean he's already in Snezhnaya."

Lyney's eyes slightly widen in shock, not expecting that visceral of a reaction. Aether slightly shakes his head to try and get him not to worry about it while Paimon starts her bashful idle as a way to look elsewhere without arising suspicion.

"We don't even get to say goodbye, what the heck. Wait, we never even figured out what was going on with his vision either. They actually just threw him to the wayside! If he doesn't show up in the next interlude, I'm going to be ☆mad☆"

Aether tilts his head down as he starts to ponder. He was also a bit frustrated with how little they learned about what was going on with him. Obviously the whal- Narwhal was involved in someway, but nothing is explained outside their connection. He's suddenly ripped from his thoughts as you pick his next dialogue option and continue the story.

The story continues for a little bit as Arlecchino arrives to join the conversation. You add in some quips of your own as you're watching, but are mostly silent. They just take it as you being tired from the whirlwind of emotions the quest put you through.

Aether then realizes the next actions he has to take and struggles to keep a straight face.

*Actually, I just remembered something... Please help us deliver this.*

"I swear to god, don't give her Childe's vision. He hates her. He trusted us."

Aether can no longer hold back his wince as he holds out Childe's vision for Arlecchino to take. She almost looks amused as they hear you sigh.

"Goddammit."

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Childe was in agony.

This pain went far beyond his physical injuries. The last words he heard from you were you crying out to him. It frustrated him to no end that by the time he gets to see you again, he passes out. He can barely remember your words of praise and cooing about how cool he was for fighting such a creature. Your worry and the fact he doesn't even get to talk to you after all this time hasn't left the forefront of his mind since he woke up. Injuries be damned, he wanted to find the Traveller. He wanted to get something out of that vacation, more than just one conversation, getting arrested, and an incomplete fight. He thought that as long as you still had his vision, he would surely see you again and his vacation would end smoothly, but of course the story seemed to have it out for him. All he could do now was lay here in pain, stuck in his mind while his family is off doing something else.

He's upset he didn't get to finish his fight and that you had to finish it for him.

He's upset his foul legacy has taken such a toll on his body, he can't do anything.

He's upset that his family has to see him in such a state.

He's upset he missed your first encounter with Skirk.

He's upset he didn't even get to talk to you again.

And more than anything, he's upset he can't be there for you.

As he was about to continue wallowing in self-pity and regret, he suddenly finds himself fully geared, standing in front of the Abyss, with no injuries.

"Such bullshit. I loved the story quest, but why was Childe pushed to the side. It's almost like they had no idea what to do with him after they got him to the whale. Oh! It's just one of the creatures he's been wanting to fight for nearly all his life. Do we get to know how he feels about it? Nooo of course not. My man just wanted to go on vacation, and he had to deal with all of this."

Hearing your voice almost washes away all his stress, and hearing you complain about how he was treated washes away all his sorrow. It pleases him to know you hated what happened to him just as much, if not more, than he did. He could tell from your ranting and the fact you've already gotten 36 stars that you were going to fight just to let off steam. That's perfect for him. Killing something is just what he needs to take his mind off of recent events, killing things with and for you makes it even better. He'll be sure to make the best of this before you log off for the day, and he's back to being bedridden.

#sagau #self aware genshin #genshin x reader #childe x reader #iw8wgwbsiwhwbd JUSTICE FOR CHILDE #HIS TREATMENT IN THIS QUEST WAS BULL #WHAT KIND OF A VACATION WAS THIS #and after everything he went through for Tuecer you know he hates that he had to go home like that #I'm not even a Childe simp but omg i just couldn't #I like my plot holes to be filled in please #though if they were actually answered in the quest please let me know #i need answers #Pois.Posts #pois.writes

[poisonous-honey]

Why Are Their Designs So Complicated???

Who's Here: Kaveh, Alhaitham, and Reader/Player

Contains: Self aware genshin au (not the cult au), neither Alhaitham nor Kaveh speak since they're trying to keep the fact they're self-aware hidden, Kaveh outfit slander

You thought Kaveh would be an easier character to draw. At a glance, his outfit is much simpler than a majority of the casts, so you thought he'd be a safe pick for fanart. How wrong you were.

Alhaitham watched from the sidelines, far away from where your camera was pointing, as you fawn over Kaveh. It had been a while since you came to Sumeru City for anything while you were playing, so his curiosity got the better of him. Though it was nice to hear you without needing to partake in all the labour inducing tasks you always force him to do, He could do without Kaveh looking so smug.

He suddenly hears you complain as you turn Kaveh to the right, making him finally take notice of his presence. He could see Kaveh wanted to say something, probably to gloat, but with you currently controlling him he couldn't risk anything. Kaveh still had this air of pride and arrogance surrounding him, and it was obvious he was trying to show him up. Alhaitham merely raises an eyebrow at him before quickly tuning into what you were saying.

"I should have thought this through more. Why didn't I inspect his outfit beforehand? This is painful."

Kaveh's face immediately fell before he quickly fixed his error and returned it neutral before you could notice. Though, Alhaitham could tell just looking at his eyes and the slight twitching of his fingers that Kaveh was anxious.

"Why's there a gold band on his thigh? There's no purpose for it, and I don't think that'd be comfortable to sit with. Why do so many characters just have bands on their thighs for no reason? To make drawing them take longer?"

Alhaitham continues to watch as you move Kaveh every which way, and he can see he's struggling to keep his composure.

"I-I don’t even want to draw his scarf, but he looks unfinished without it. How do I simplify this, so I don't want to die drawing more nonsensical detail."

"I just wanted to make fanart for Writing on the Wall, why do these characters have to be so complicated. His outfit looked so simple in comparison to everyone else, but now I just want to keel over."

Kaveh looked like he was about to pass out, and it's quite a shock that you haven't noticed how not normal he's currently acting. Your blindness is currently acting in their favour, though, so while you're distracted he'll try to signal to Kaveh to get a hold of himself-

"Thank God, I think I'm done sketching his outfit. Kaveh I love you so much, To the moon and back, but I'm never drawing you again. Or anyone ever… Okay that's a lie, I love you all too much, but god I wish I had the patience to not go batshit. Now I'm just exhausted and don't even want to think about colouring this right now. I'll explore Fontaine a bit, I guess. I just need my exploration team-"

Your voice fades as you switch your team and teleport away. At least that saves them from Kaveh losing his composure in front of you, but now he's sure he's having a breakdown in his house. The things he puts up with for you. At least he has new leverage to pull against him.

#genshin reader insert #x reader #sagau #self aware genshin #kaveh x reader #al haitam x reader #alhaitham x reader #Pois.Posts #pois.writes

[poisonous-honey]

Player: *listening to Writing on the Wall for the 100th time* Kaveh's just like me fr

Kaveh: *Feeling every emotion at once* pleASE STOP OUTING ME TO EVERYONE IN SUMERU AND THOSE ARE NOT THE TRAITS OF MINE YOU SHOULD BE RELATING TO ARE YOU OKAY

#sagau #genshin crack #genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #kaveh x reader #self aware genshin #x reader #pois.writes #Pois.Posts

[poisonous-honey]

The Traveller sits at a table near Good Hunter as Jean creates a stack of pizzas

Npc: what's going on here

Traveller: *drinking apple cider* The Player asked Jean to make 99 pizzas

Jean: *stacks another pizza in tears* They don't even eat any of it

#genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #x reader #sagau #Pois.Posts #self aware genshin #pois.writes

[poisonous-honey]

Just Unbuilt, Or Am I Unwanted?

As you try to improve Xiao's build for the 100th time, some of the others finally lose their patience

Who's Here! Amber, Aether, Lyney, Childe, and Paimon. The reader/player is off to the side with Xiao

Contains: Self Aware Genshin/SAGAU (Not The Cult), Childe being stupid (Childe slander), Angst if you squint but it's really just crack

Notes: Saw the idea from @devildomangel and kinda just ran with it. Because I took the idea from her Xiao is the player's main unit in this. Which is kinda unfortunate cause that means he's only talked about lol

---

Walking through Mondstadt, Amber is on her way to Good Hunter for her lunch break when she sees the traveller apparate before the fountain. His appearance usually means the player has logged on again so she swiftly abandons her lunch plans and rushes over to the traveller, waving her arms in greeting.

“Hey traveller! Welcome back to the land of the living!”

Aether turns in Amber’s direction before giving her a little smile and waving back. 

“Hey Amber. Good to be back.”

“Has the player finally logged on again?”

He sighs. It’s just his luck the first person he talks to wants to talk more about you than him. 

“Yeah.”

“What’re their plans today?”

And of course it’s just his luck he has to crush their spirits. What a wonderful way to start his day.

“... What do you think”

Amber pouts at that. You promised you’d build her sometime ago, but it feels like it’s been a year since you said that, and she’s still only level 60! She’s been sitting here off to the side for how long while your ‘darling’ is getting all your love and attention. There are so many characters that deserve some time, promises of stronger builds that need to be fulfilled, but you just won’t! Either you're willingly not doing it or you just forgot. She doesn’t know which one’s worse.

“A-are you sure? Maybe they’re going to work on someone else today! Maybe they’re going to work on Collei, or Lynette, o-or-”

“Amber please,” Aether sighs again and looks quite exasperated as he turns to Amber “... It’s Xiao again.”

As Amber is about to try and counter his claim, they hear the teleport waypoint activate and quickly hide out of view of the camera.

“Kathryn, expeditions, blacksmith, uhh I think I have to go to the Serenitea Pot today- wait what domain was I going to do again?”

Peaking around Marjorie’s shop, they watch as you hand in the daily commissions you didn’t do. Amber was hoping to hear you talk about anyone else to prove Aether wrong please prove him wrong while he wanted to make sure Amber didn’t do anything rash.

“Oh right I was going to farm Marechaussee Hunter today.”

Sparkles appeared in Amber’s eyes as she quickly turned to Aether, “Did you hear that? That’s the Denouncement of Sin domain-”

“It’s actually Denouement of Sin.”

“Oh! Thank you, but more importantly it’s not The Lost Valley! That means it’s not Vermillion Hereafter which means it’s not Xiao!”

Aether doesn’t know if he should be amused or sad for her. “Just give it a second.”

She tilts her head “Why would-”

“With Hunters Xiao basically has 60 CRT rate off hop. Paired with Jade Spear it’s 80… something. I’d barely need any CRT rate rolls and can stack so much CRT damage and ATK. It probably won’t be that much better than the sets I already have, but funny numbers win in the end time to farm for his fourth set!”

You teleport away, none the wiser to the despair you just put Amber in. All Aether does is pat her back before getting ready to teleport himself.

“I tried to warn you not to get your hopes up.”

Amber barely hears him as she drowns herself in self-pity. Looking like a husk of the person she is “... He’s getting a fourth. I don’t even have one.”

Aether winces, but can’t think of anything to say that might lift her spirits. He doesn’t think there is anything that can, so he teleports to Fontaine.

---

As he lands at the closest waypoint north of the domain and starts walking towards it, he notices a certain top hat individual staring in the direction of Denouement of Sin. As Aether gets closer he hastily turns around upon hearing his footsteps. Getting over his slight panic he brightly smiles.

“Oh ho if it isn’t the traveller! What brings you to this part of Fontaine during such a fine afternoon?’

“I’m here to keep an eye on our player Lyney. As usual. Seeing as you’re not making your way over to the domain I assume you’re not here to do the same?” Aether questions in a deadpan voice and crosses his arms, not up to deal with Lyney’s antics at the moment.

Lyney’s lips twitch downwards and a look of sadness crosses his face for a split second before he puts up his smile again. “Getting right to it, I see. Well I actually was here to watch our dear player, since they are technically farming for me as well today, but on my way over I happened to notice someone enter the side entrance to the domain. That’s not so suspicious on its own, but they were being awfully secretive about it.”

Aether’s eyes widen “Wait. Do you think they’re going to the backroom where the artifact codes are?”

“Bingo! I had stopped to ponder what my next course of action should be, leave and get help or spy on them by myself, when you just so happened to show up! Don’t you think we should go see what they’re up to?”

---

Aether and Lyney quietly enter the hidden side entrance in the mountain. Spawning on the outer regions of the domain they swiftly make their way to the backroom through the trees while trying not to slip on the wet grass into the water.

After a few close calls and one save from a floating jellyfish, they jump from the broken bridge into the backroom behind the Petrified Tree. There, standing in front of a clear screen with a heap of intelligible jargon and surrounded by machinery and wires is-

“Childe?” “Master Tartaglia?”

“Oh hello comrades!” He turns around and waves. Like he didn’t just enter territory that the Archons personally had restricted.

Seeing Childe standing over the console with the code open alarms both the other men at the scene.

Aether ignores him and sharply walks over to turn off the console when Childe blocks his path. Aether sends him the hardest glare he could.

“What do you think you’re doing Childe?”

“Hm? Oh, you mean the code! I’m just looking there’s no need for you two to worry!”

“With all due respect Master Tartaglia,” Lyney interjects as politely as he could to his superior while still being stern “That’s not exactly believable when barely anyone in Teyvat can even understand the player's written language.”

They all stand there in silence for a second before they hear Xiao’s plunge attacks and your laughs from the room over. This ticks off Childe more than he’d like to admit.

“Okay you got me I wasn’t initially here to just look, but, like you said, I can’t decipher what any of this means, so I was going to leave it alone anyway.”

Aether puts his hands on his hips with a disappointed look while Lyney crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow.

“So what were you going to do before?”

Childe turns back to the code “Well I was wondering if changing the rates to impossible odds would convince our dear player to finally see that they don’t need to work on some washed up warrior anymore and start building someone else for a change.”

In exasperation Aether pinches the bridge of his nose “Do you really not realize how stupid your plan is?”

“What no it’s great. After a little while they’d realize that continuing to build this guy is a waste of time when he’s been done for so long already. Maybe it’d get them to finally finish my own artifacts.”

“Doing this would cause the opposite effect of what you’re looking for. Just wait your turn.”

“It hasn’t been my turn in ages, comrade.”

Aether getting increasingly more done with this conversation pulls his sword out at Childe. “Step away from the console.”

Childe forms his hydro weaponry in retaliation and points one in Aether’s direction “Like you can get me to do anything by only pointing a sword in my direction.”

Lyney, realizing that starting a fight while the console is still on and the code still visible might not be the best idea, goes to step in between them. “Listen I don’t think-”

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?”

“Paimon?”

The outburst from Paimon causes Lyney to instantly turn around, and he loses his footing, causing him to fall straight into Childe. Childe in turn quickly puts his hand onto the wall next to him to stabilize himself and keep Lyney from crashing into the floor.

Childe pushes himself off the wall and puts Lyney back into a standing position. 

“Thanks, I-” Lyney suddenly stops and stares in horror behind him.

“What? What is it?”

Childe turns around and sees the jagged hole in the screen and the machinery behind it. It stutters and flickers, scrambling the code before finally shutting down. He winces when he realizes he forgot to make his hydro weapons fade away. He tries to shrug it off, but can’t help the feeling this is the worst way his issue could’ve been solved.

“Well, I guess that’s one way to solve a problem?”

They all look at him in disbelief and soon Paimon is stomping in the air angrily.

“UGH! Paimon didn’t take you to be this big of an idiot! How did this happen? Why are you all even here??”

“We were following Master Tartaglia to see what he was up to. He wanted to change the artifact rates to be near impossible. He didn’t explain what about the rates he was even changing.”

Paimon backs in shock “WHAT? Why would you even do that. How does that solve any problem you could be having?”

For the second time Childe tries to get his opinion across. “Once the player sees they’re not getting anything good from this domain, surely they’ll pivot and work on someone else. Preferably me.”

“PAIMON CAN’T BELIEVE PAIMON’S OPINION OF YOU COULD GET ANY LOWER! That’s not what’s going to happen at all! All the player is going to think is that they’re getting really unlucky and will keep trying. Why would getting ‘unlucky’ make them try to build someone else when they think the artifact rates are the same everywhere. It’s just going to make building Xiao take even longer!”

It finally sinks into his head how bad this decision of his was and pure dread spreads across his face. 

He grabs Aether by his shoulder and swings his free arm in the general direction of the broken code “No wait surely we can fix this. It was just an accident I didn’t mean to actually go through with it.”

Aether sighs and crosses his arms “I’m sure the only beings capable of fixing this mess are the Archons.”

Hearing that the Archons might have to get involved stresses Lyney out of his mind.  “Are you sure? I can’t see the gods taking kindly to us even entering this room in the first place, let alone destroying the code.”

“I could ask if Albedo knows how. Though I doubt he’d fix it much faster than someone like the dendro Archon could.”

Paimon nods along with the traveller “Yeah! He’d also treat you way worse than the dendro Archon since it’s the player you’re upsetting. Nahida is probably your best option.”

“What do you mean ‘your’? This is partly your fault too Paimon.”

Paimon starts to argue with Aether that she was barely in the room, so there’s no way it could be her fault, while Lyney silently hopes Lynette is doing well. Childe wants to argue he could handle anything that either god or human would throw at him, before your voice suddenly rings throughout the room. 

“Damn nothing again? I guess I just started, but I’d like to get something with at least CRT damage. I just want to see some funny numbers game.”

Paimon leaves them to their frenzy, discretely slipping back to your side. The three hooligans all look at each other before hurriedly exiting the domain and rushing to Sumeru to get anyone to try and fix it.

You get nothing good out of that domain for the rest of the month.

#sagau #genchin crack #genshin reader insert #self aware genshin #x reader #pois.writes #pois.posts

[poisonous-honey]

Soul Crushing Guilt

(This is a re-upload: Originally posted to UniverseUchu on December 2nd, 2022)

You've treated them all like toys. In your defence this was just another video game to you a couple of weeks ago, but they're actually real with thoughts and feelings of their own. You don't know how to feel.

Who’s Here! Venti

Contains: isekai reader, Self Aware Genshin (not the Cult SAGAU), Insecurities (reader), Hurt/Comfort I guess it’s called

Note: I will say this takes place in the middle of a story, but it works on its own and I really liked how this turned out. I do have more written, but it's incomprehensible (even after a whole year it's still incomprehensible lmao)

Sitting on the cliffside of Starsnatch is not where you intended to be at this time, but your soul crushing guilt and insecurities have led you here. You needed to be away from all the positivity from everyone in Mondstadt. Their kindness was only worsening your mood. Staring over the edge, lost deep inside your head, you almost miss the way the wind whirls around you before you hear the one person you wanted to avoid the most right now.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Why’d you leave without saying anything? Everyone back at Mond is worried, you know.”

You don’t say anything in response and let Venti walk up and sit next to you. You both stay silent and watch the waves crash onto the beach. Venti occasionally takes glances in your direction, but for the most part his eyes are on the scenery. After a few minutes, he tries asking you again.

“I know you told us that we aren’t overwhelming you, but please, if we actually are-”

“That’s not the reason I left Venti.”

“Then what is it?”

Silence is all that greets him. “Please, we just want you to be comfortable with us. We can’t help if we don’t know.”

Hearing him say that only makes you feel more guilty. They’re all so nice to you, and for what? The pressure and the guilt keeps building and building the more you stay here. Everyone’s been so understanding and kind, but all you’ve done before is use them any which way. You’ve judged them for superficial reasons and have even gotten them killed on numerous occasions. Venti showing up and putting the blame on himself and the others like they’re the reason you left just adds onto your shame as tears start to escape your eyes.

Upon seeing your eyes water, Venti slightly panics. “W-Wait, why are you crying!? I’m sorry for whatever-”

“Venti please stop.”

You turn to look Venti in the eyes, and see the panic and worry etched onto his face. It only makes you feel worse.

“Venti… Why are you here? Why do you keep following me?’ You look away from him, trying to keep from balling on the spot. ‘Why are you so nice to me?”

Hearing this, Venti’s face slowly scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course, I’m going to be nice to you. Where is this coming from?”

“You were conscious the entire time I was playing. I used you all like you were dolls for my amusement. After I got you, didn’t you feel like I was holding you captive or-or like some sort of toy forced to do my bidding? I don’t understand why no one hates me! I feel so guilty of everything I’ve said and done, but everyone’s apologizing to me like they’re in the wrong, and I don’t get it! Especially you! As the God of Freedom, don’t you hate me for taking away your own freedom from you? I just don’t understand… So why…” Unable to continue, you look away as you try to wipe your eyes and wait for Venti to finally tell you he hates you. That he’s going to stop pretending and get up and leave you alone. In your mind you know he would never, that's not who he is, but fear and anxiety is irrational.

Your breath hitches as you feel his hands land on your cheeks and turn your head to look at him. Instead of the disgust or apathy your heart was expecting, Venti’s face is filled with sorrow.

“I can’t believe you would think so low of me.’ He looks downwards and wipes away a few tears with his thumbs before looking back at you with nothing but care. ‘I guess from your point of view that’s a reasonable assumption to make, but you seem to be forgetting one key detail.”

You stare at him as he proceeds to give you the smuggest look you’ve ever seen on him. “I came home extremely early on my banner, didn’t I?”

What he’s saying doesn’t make any sense to you. He’s already treating you extremely differently than you anticipated, and now his question is putting your already malfunctioning brain into overdrive. What did his banner have to do with anything?

“What? Venti I-I don’t understand. What are you trying to…’ Finally, it all starts to click into place as your eyes widen, and his stupid grin gets larger. ‘You… Did you influence the banner wishes???”

Venti laughs joyously as he lets go of your face. His eyes sparkle like he’s recounting the best moment of his life.

“Why yes, I did! I actually got in a lot of trouble for that! It's part of the reason you lost the next 50/50, but I couldn’t miss the chance to join your team. I refused to wait another second.”

“But why? I still don’t under-”

“I have the freedom to make my own choices, do I not? I wanted to join your team, so I did.”

His expression changes from smug to such a soft look. You have a hard time believing it is being directed at you.

“Why, yes, I may be the God of Freedom, but I’m also simply one of the many characters this game has to offer. I’m one of your many characters in particular. And out of such a colourful cast of individuals, I was your favourite. To be the reason someone even downloaded our game in the first place sends me over the moon. For everyone else, you still give their lives a purpose and have earned everyone’s respect. Sure, you might be a bit crass, but even when you were rude or made a mistake, you still treated everyone with more care than necessary. I especially could feel and hear the level of adoration you had for me through the screen. To me, there’s nothing I want more than to travel by your side for as long as you’ll have me.”

Such a heartwarming and earnest speech from Venti has your eyes start to water again. Not all of your insecurities and guilt have been lifted, you don’t think that kind of guilt will be something you can get rid of, but with Venti here…

“You’re allowed to stay for as long as you want.”

He cups your cheeks again while looking straight into your eyes.

“Then till death do we part, my dear player.”

You break down and cry as Venti pulls you in for a hug. With Venti by your side, you know he’ll help you through your guilt with as much care and love as you’ve given him.

#sagau #self aware genshin #Venti x reader #Genshin x reader #x reader #self-indulgence ftw baby #I don’t know if I’m going to post more of this #If I am I’ll make a header to organize just a little bit #I really love what I have #but I’d need to heavily edit it because what I actually have written down is nigh incomprehensible #Pois.Posts #Pois.Writes

[poisonous-honey]

*During the Darshan Championships*

Hat Guy: I think you can stop calling me that now

Nahida: Why? Don't you like it?

Player: It is pretty funny.

Hat Guy: ...*sigh* It's better than the name the player gave me anyway

Player: hOW DARE YOU I SPENT 20 MINUTES RESEARCHING FOR ONE YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE-

#sagau #genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #x reader #wanderer x reader #self aware genshin #hat guy x reader #Pois.Posts #pois.writes

[poisonous-honey]

*Confronting Signora at Tenshukaku for the first time*

Signora: To death do us part!

Player: Signora. I will cut you down. Break you apart. Splay the gore of your profane form across the stars-

Venti as Player is yelling: You shouldn't have hit me. Ehe~

Signora: I'm not even going to be able to kill one of their team members, am I?

#genshin crack #Genshin reader insert #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin incorrect quotes #x reader #venti x reader #Pois.Writes #Pois.Posts #ultrakill quote

[poisonous-honey]

Furina reveals Lyney and Lynette as members of the house of the hearth

Audience: omg fr?

Furina: *I'm such a genius*

Traveller: *Getting upset*

Player: Oh… Okay.

Audience: WHAT

Furina: Wh- Huh!? Just Okay???

Player: I- We're friends with a fatui harbinger, a former fatui harbinger, and well acquainted with the fatui squadrons in the Chasm and Golden Apple Archipelago, and there’s also Victor. I don't really see what the problem is.

Lyney on the verge of a panic: Then why’re they still mad at me

Traveller: Why did the archon have to be the one to tell me?

Player: Actually, you got a point-

Lyney: W-WAIT, LET ME EXPLAIN

#genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #x reader #pois.writes #Pois.Posts #sagau

[poisonous-honey]

Hello...

Lately is a shitty time for me on miHoyo's games. I lost both my 50/50s both to Genshin impact and Honkai star rail. On Genshin, i got QiQi by pulling Xianyun and Gepard by pulling Black Swan. Now i'm broke and my moral is at its lowest.

I'd love some headcanons (or a scenario) about SAGAU(and SAHSRAU if you can) hearing the reader yell and cry of frustration about this. Like: "I'M DONE I'M SO FUCKING DONE!! CAN I JUST HAVE THE ONLY THING I'VE WANTED FOR WORKING AND WAITING THAT HARD!!?? FUCK ALL OF YOU I HATE MY LIFE!!!!"

Sorry. I just wanted to let it out...

Who’s Here: Reader/Player, Diluc, Jean, Mona, Keqing, Tighnari, Astral Express crew, and Gepard

Contains: SAGAU and SAHSR (Not Cult AU)

Note: Hey, hey! I'm sorry this happened to you. I also lost her to Qiqi and had to spend everything else I had to try again, 50/50s suck. Their banners aren’t gone yet though so I hope you end up getting both of them soon! (ノ_<。)ヾ(´ ▽ ` )

💛💛💛💛

It was an accident, it always is with them.

The six of them that are considered standard 5 stars never mean to ruin your chances. They care for you and your happiness, they also want you to continue to play their game. Even though they'd love to be the ones going on adventures with you, both to spend time with you and for their own benefit (Tighnari would love to study other nations' fauna, Diluc could gain new ideas for drinks etc.), they know forcing themselves into your party would never work. You'd just grow to hate them, which is the opposite of what they want.

They're jealous of other 5 stars. Sure they can join you technically whenever they want, unlike the others that have to deal with limited timed windows, but that also guarantees you want them. All they can do is break that or hope they're the lucky one chosen on Wanderlust Invocation. Not only do they have to share a space with each other, but they're also going against weapons, which none of them are remotely happy with.

It's when these emotions are at an all-time high, they're jealousy and longing, the stars will glow gold and tug on their heart.

Diluc is always at his desk when he accidentally takes it. Stewing over boring paperwork his mind will wander from time to time, eventually landing on thoughts of you. He'll find himself missing you and desiring your attention, not realizing you've started a wishing session until it's too late, and he hears you cursing the world. He feels incredibly guilty, and it only grows worse when the wind clatters against his windows. Tries to make it up to you with materials and mora. You’ll find your mail flooded with talent books, adventurers EXP, a ton of mora, and the sincerest apology he could write.

Jean would be trying to sleep. She doesn't have time to think about you during her job, so it’s when she’s on the brink of passing out she’ll start to think of you. The thought of travelling with you sounded like the best break she could get. Eventually she’ll fall asleep and dream about you, only to be suddenly woken up by your screaming. She panics and seeks advice from any and all of her friends on how to make it up to you. Ends up acting similar to Diluc, working herself to the bone to get you talent and weapon materials. She’ll pair them with a few dandelions before sending them to you.

Mona is thinking about food. During a time she forgets to set aside enough mora for a decent meal, she’ll find herself thinking about the delicacies you’re able to provide. Even if it involved fighting, it was a free source of marvellous food. Her mouth waters as she thinks about all the dishes you’ve made, only to be abruptly pulled from her thoughts when a star bumps into her and flies off. She sighs when she hears you start cussing up a storm. Knowing your current state, depressed and full of ire, is because of her, she’ll attempt to make it up to you in a way few others could. She manipulates the fates of the stars so you’re bound to get your next gold star early. A simple method she feels guarantees to make you happy and hopefully take the heat off of herself. It wasn’t simple she wishes you could praise her for it

Keqing would be reminiscing her interactions with you during lantern rite. Whenever she sees the traveller in the distance, but is too busy to stop and talk, that’s where her mind will wander when she finally gets a moment of rest. It’s at this moment of respite she’ll long to see you and the traveller again and when she’ll notice the sky turn gold. She feels incredibly bad when she hears you cry, but she doesn’t have much time to meaningfully apologize to you. The best she can do is write a letter to both you and the character she stole the spotlight from saying she’s sorry. She’ll definitely send you some Golden Shrimp Balls when she next has some for herself.

Tighnari, in a similar boat to Jean and Keqing, would be too preoccupied to miss you on a normal day. It’s when he’s out with his friends and slightly inebriated he mentions missing you. Alhaitham starts to mention how that’s a dangerous line of thought for him to have when Tighnari’s chest starts to glow gold. Everyone winces when you soon start shouting and Tighnari slams his face into the table. He’d end up gathering bunches of every flower in Sumeru and send them to you with a picture of him, Collei and Karkata. 

For Qiqi it's a little different. She can't remember the last time you've gone adventuring with her. Half the time she's too preoccupied to even remember she's already on your team. When a star falls and asks if she wants to go, she doesn't have time to check her notebook before she says yes, the star becoming hers and landing on your screen. 

Your rage and disappointment is always made evident fast, which always has Qiqi turning to Baizhu.

“Did I… Do something wrong?”

Baizhu sighs and kneels next to her, “You made a mistake, but it's alright. Come, why don't we look for an apology gift?”

The next day you open up the mail to see one from Qiqi. Attached to it are all the herbs she collected with Baizhu, her specialty dish No Tomorrow, and an acquaint fate.

Sorry… Qiqi doesn't remember what Qiqi did, but Qiqi knows Qiqi is sorry.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Upon finishing the most recent event, you had teleported to the train suddenly before they noticed your presence leaving them. They couldn’t tell if you were in a menu or had left your computer entirely. After a while with nothing happening on your end everyone aboard the Astral Express quickly settled in, expecting to be here for a while longer. March was in her room organizing her photos, Dan Heng was going through the archives, and Himeko was making coffee while Stella and Welt were entertaining the guests. Gepard and Serval had come to visit the train that day. Pom Pom had wandered off earlier somewhere in the train and everything was relatively peaceful… Until they heard you start screaming.

March, Dan Heng, and Himeko all rushed into the Parlour car while the four already there were looking at each other in a bit of shock. It’s when they start making out what you’re saying and see Pom Pom rush back into the Parlour car did they realize you had started warping. A session which obviously didn’t go as planned.

They don't like hearing you angry or sad, so they try to come up with a plan, something - anything that will cheer you up without seeming too suspicious. All of them are in the middle of discussing when they also hear you mumble out a very quick and aggressive “Fuck Gepard.”

Everyone turns to him and his face goes red.

Plans are immediately put on hold as Stella whips out her baseball bat and attempts to smash his skull in. Welt tries to step in to stop her, Himeko and Dan Heng stand-off to the side (one more disappointed than the other), March cheers Stella on and Serval ignores her brother's plea for help.

They do eventually get around to cobbling up a multitude of jades for you to at least try again, but not before Stella nearly gave Gepard a concussion. He separately sends you an extremely long apology letter paired with a choice item to allow you to pick a 5 starlight cone of your choosing. Some of the others berate him for being so obvious, but he doesn't care as long as you're happy again.

#Sagau #Self Aware Genshin #SAHSR #SAHSRAU #Self Aware HSR #Genshin X Reader #Genshin Reader Insert #X Reader #Reader Insert #Man how do you write head cannons #Whenever I make bullet points it’s all gibberish #Sorry Star Rail’s shorter #There are a lot of stellar warp characters and half of them I wouldn’t know how to write for #coldbarbarianpeace #Pois.Writes #Pois.Posts #Pois.Asks

[poisonous-honey]

Nahida’s Precious Tailor

The little lord of Sumeru calls upon your aid as she wishes for a wardrobe change.

Who’s Here: Reader/Player, Nahida, Wanderer, Kaveh, and Alhaitham makes a short appearance

Contains: Cursing, SAGAU (Self Aware Genshin Alternate Universe), Artist/Tailor Reader, Reader isn’t explicitly shipped with anyone so you can make do however you wish

Note: Inspired by @sunnysolaria. Not their exact ask, I just had fun making this (～￣▽￣)～ (i.e. this basically word vomit)

====

Time ticks by as you and Nahida sit in the middle of the Sanctuary of Surasthana. You can vaguely hear the sounds of children singing softly in the background which makes it a bit more eerie to be here, but you push it away to try and focus on the task asked of you. Nahida looks on in wonder as you continue to ponder, not noticing you’ve started to mumble out loud. 

“I knew you liked to waste your own time, but I thought you’d at least be decent enough to spare others from your terrible habits.”

Hearing Wanderer you’re snapped out of your thoughts and turn your eyes away from Nahida to see him arrive. Your mind, still a jumbled mess, can barely recall what he said to make a proper retort. You assume he insulted you so you open your mouth hoping to say any form of comeback.

“Sup.” 

Of course, you didn’t. 

Nahida quickly spreads her arms wide taking Wanderer’s scrutinizing eyes off your form, allowing you to collect your thoughts better.

“I’ve asked them to be my tailor! They’re helping me think of outfit designs! Some of the ones they’ve already thought of have been fascinating!”

You blank for a sec upon hearing that. You’re happy she liked some of the designs you thought of, but you forgot she could read your mind at all. Trying to shake the thought that she could read your mind whenever she pleases, you turn to Wanderer to shoo him away.

“Yeah I’m actually here for important business, so if you could skedaddle somewhere else for a bit that’d be great.”

He ignores you and keeps his attention focused on Nahida, which has you silently cursing under your breath.

“Why do you even need new clothes? Let alone asking the Player to design and make them for you. Their sense of fashion is atrocious.”

You gasp and put your hand to your chest. You’re about to tell him your clothes were for sure more comfortable than anything he could be wearing, but Nahida cuts you off.

“Before the Player landed in Teyvat, they would sometimes bring up pictures of everyone with different clothes. Some people looked completely different from how they are now.”

Your brow raises as you cock your head. You didn’t think they could see anything outside the game when you were playing. They were too good at hiding everything they were able to do to your device. Or maybe it was just Nahida, that would be better for your peace of mind.

“Oh, so you saw your beta designs? Is that why you asked me specifically?”

Nahida nods her head, “Partly. It’s why I wanted to try something different, but I haven’t actually seen my own alternative designs. I can’t say I’m not still curious to see them.”

Your eyes brighten just a little. “I can still show you if you want me too! It’s all saved to a photo album on my phone. I’d just have to find it.”

She leans in closer to you with curiosity and marvel on her face. You take that as a yes and take-out your phone to start looking for it. During the time it takes you to find the set of pictures Wanderer ends up sitting next to you and staring at all the pictures you pass by. As soon as you find Nahida’s beta designs and hand her your phone, Wanderer starts to come at you.

“Wow, someone’s obsessed.”

Your head whips to his direction, and you look at him with a mix of disdain and embarrassment. The sadistic pleasure is very visible on his face as he continues.

“Over 2000 pictures dedicated to us? And a lot of them seem to be of the same person. I wonder what they’d think if they knew you had sections dedicated to them in your photo gallery.”

Shame shimmers underneath your skin the more he talks. You’re glad he only saw the folder number. You stopped organizing your pictures in folders a long time ago so you can’t imagine how much you have now. If he knew the actual number you’d probably die on the spot. Even so, you don’t want to take shit from this fucking edgelord.

“Oh shut the fuck up! I didn’t know any of you were even real at the time I just liked the game okay.”

He arches his brow and rests his head on his hand, still carrying that shit-eating grin, “The fact you thought we weren’t even sentient just makes this more pathetic.”

Wanderer soon brings up the pictures he saw of himself on your phone which has you combusting on the spot. Nahida continues to stare at her beta designs, ignoring the “argument” going on between you two. She examines them for a bit longer before tapping your shoulder to get your attention and holds out your phone for you to take back.

You quickly take it and hide the source of your shame, giving Wanderer the middle finger while you're at it. You focus as much on Nahida as you can, with him laughing in the background. 

“Did you like any of them?”

Nahida stares at you intently for a moment before saying anything. “Player, would you have preferred it if I looked like one of these designs?”

You’re stunned for a sec before panic quickly sets in. Of course, she was probably reading your mind to see what you thought of them. You thought they were all pretty interesting, but you didn’t want her thinking you thought they were superior. You vaguely hear Wanderer tease you for managing to upset such a forgiving god and Nahida saying that she wasn’t upset, just asking, but it’s in one ear and out the other amidst your frantic state.

“Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no Nahida you got the wrong idea!” You take your phone back out before gesturing to the whole page of beta designs. “Yeah I think these designs are cool, some more than others but that’s beside the point! I like you Nahida even if your dress looks like a shuttlecock-”

“What are you even saying-”

“Stop focusing on the unimportant Wanderer.”

He scoffs at you and rolls his eyes.

“But you’re you. For a lot of these I think they had a different vision of you in mind when drawing these.”

Nahida puts her hands on yours and only then did you realize how much you were fidgeting. She smiles warmly at you, “There’s no need to be so nervous. I was just asking!”

You deflate in relief, “Thank goodness. I guess back to my last question then… Did you like any of them? If you thought one of them was pretty good I could make that for you?”

She thinks on it for a moment and ultimately shakes her head, “I did like a couple, but I’d rather you make me something new! There’s a reason these weren’t chosen, and you said it yourself they don’t make you think of me. I know you put your heart into the clothes you make, so a design made by you, for me, is perfect.”

You smile at her. Her faith in you to make something good for her fills you with pride.

“I’ll do my best for you.”

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Wanderer opening his mouth, probably to talk more shit, so before he can say anything you make a show of stretching and square him straight in his face. He roughly grabs your hand and pushes it away from him, staring at you with the fiercest scowl you’ve seen from him. You merely smirk in his direction.

“Oh I’m so sorry, I forgot you were there. I was just trying to stretch, no hard feelings yeah?”

You put your phone away again and get up to leave, waving goodbye to Nahida and ignoring Wanderer’s pointed gaze as you walk towards the door. Nahida cheerfully waves back and Wanderer silently seethes in his place. 

⭐⭐⭐⭐

On your way down to the ground floor of the city you continue to brainstorm multiple ideas to potentially make for Nahida. Dresses, regal robes, bejewelled shirts, and big pants. Should you try to lean into her godhood? Maybe go for a nature theme or add more computer-Esq patterns into the design. Should you give the poor girl shoes? You’re so deep in thought you don’t realize how close you had gotten to the edge of the pathway. A stray tree branch catches your foot, and you trip, snapping out of your mind to see houses and merchant stalls.

Luckily before you could plummet onto some poor person’s roof you’re caught by your arm and roughly pulled away from the ledge and into someone’s chest. You both fall to the ground and a small group of students that witnessed your mishap crowded around you.

“Oh my Archons, are you two okay?” “Do you need any help?” “Can we get you anything?”

“I’m fine thank you, but Player, are you okay?”

“Kaveh!?”

You get up and turn around to see it was indeed Kaveh that had saved you from cracking your head open on one of the rooftops below. He’s helped up by one of the others, and he stares at you intently.

“Yes it’s me, but seriously are you okay?”

You hear some of the others murmuring questions, mostly asking if you’re okay. “Yeah I’m fine. Thank you, really.”

You, of course, take this moment to hug him which Kaveh immediately reciprocates. “Gods you need to be more careful. You nearly scared me half to death.”

He peels himself away from you when he notices the others are still worried about you. The few students around ask if you’re sure you’re okay and fawn over you a little before leaving you in Kaveh’s care. As you’re waving bye you feel Kaveh’s hand rest on your shoulder which has you turn to look at him, his gaze still filled with concern.

“Are you sure you-”

“Yes Kaveh. You saved me, I’m fine.”

You grab his hand and hold it in front of you. It looked like he wanted to say a lot more, but he eventually settled and gazed at you softly, tightening his grip on your hand just a bit. “I’m glad. So what’s weighing so heavily on your mind that you can’t look up to notice your surroundings?”

You fidget under his stare for a second, not being able to remember until you see Wanderer flying off somewhere in the distance. It feels like you were hit with a brick as you remember the important task that was given to you. As you turn back to Kaveh to explain, you stop to look at what he’s wearing. It’s his normal outfit, but taking it all in you realize you don’t know what makes Sumeru wear… Sumeru wear. You’re pulled into your thoughts again and about to walk off before Kaveh pulls you back a little, clearly confused.

“Hold on, where are you going??”

Oh yeah, you had forgotten he asked you a question. “Nahida asked me if I could design new clothes for her. I was thinking of ideas earlier, but now I see all of them were lacking. None of them really looked like Sumeru clothes so now I need to do research since,” You look over Kaveh’s outfit again and take a glance at the people around you, “I don’t even know where to start.”

His brows furrow, and his hand moves to his chin. You want to chuckle seeing him do the thinking idle animation, but you don’t want him to start overthinking his existence again over something so trivial. Suddenly, Kaveh grabs you by your shoulders and his face ends up really close to yours.

“I can help you! If you want me to, that is.”

You stare at Kaveh in slight surprise. You guess you should've known he’d want to help with your artistic endeavours.

“You know how to make clothes?”

He falters a bit, but is still as enthusiastic as before, “Well no, but I do know a thing or two about style. I learned more than just how to make a building during my time at the Academia you know.”

He playfully pokes your forehead, and you swat his hand away with a smile. “Yeah I wasn’t thinking. I’d definitely appreciate your help.”

“Perfect! We can start by heading to the Grand Bazaar. Oh, but first I have to drop off my materials. I was on my way to do that before I had to drop everything to keep you from falling.”

You look past him to see a ton of blueprints and rulers and a ton of other materials. Making your way over you start to pick everything up for him, Kaveh soon following suit. You hear him mumbling, hoping nothing broke in his rush. Guilt creeps up your spine seeing him fret over every item he picks up.

“... Sorry.”

His head snaps to your direction hearing you apologize and quickly tries to calm any guilt you currently feel. “Please it’s okay, besides it doesn’t seem like anything’s broken. If you still want to make it up to me then try taking better care of yourself.”

You huff and continue to help him collect his things off the floor. “That’s a tall ask, but I’ll try for you.”

“You better.”

You finish gathering all of Kaveh’s materials and help him carry them on the way to Alhaitham’s despite all his protests saying he could do it himself.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

“What are you doing here??”

“This is my house, or did you forget?”

You honestly weren’t expecting to see Alhaitham today. You were pretty sure you caught sight of him in the Academia on your way to the Sanctuary or Surasthana so you assumed he was working. Judging by Kaveh’s reaction, you guess that’s what he was supposed to be doing.

Kaveh scoffs, “Never mind. Player, can you hand me the rest of my things? You can wait here while I put them all away.”

Kaveh carefully brings his materials over to his room, and you decide to sit next to Alhaitham as you wait for him to put them away. He’s currently reading something you have no hope of ever understanding. You’re content to sit here in silence as you wait not wanting to bother him, when he starts talking, not even taking his eyes off the book he’s reading.

“You nearly had quite the fall earlier. You’re quite lucky Kaveh was able to catch you in time.”

It takes you a bit to register what he was referring to, but when it settles you gawk at him, barely believing what he’s insinuating.

“Wait, so you saw me nearly fall to my death, and didn’t even bother to check up on me??”

He closes his book with a snap and turns to look at you. Moments like this make you wish you were able to read him, his passive face making it near impossible to tell what he was thinking. You watch as he reaches for something behind him and pulls out a small heart-shaped gold and green box with a soft glow. He hands it to you without saying a word.

You take it and inspect it for a while, not being able to figure out what it is. You don’t see any clasps or hinges to be able to open it so you’re filled with nothing but questions.

“What’s this for?”

“Consider it my apology for not checking up on you earlier. Open it later.”

You huff and nod your head. Realizing you're probably not going to get anymore out of him you change the topic, talking to him about whatever you feel like as you wait for Kaveh. You’re in the middle of explaining the task Nahida gave you and the research you’re about to do when Kaveh finally steps out of his room.

“Everything's put away, we can head off now!”

You get up excited and skip to the front door, not realizing Alhaitham getting up as well. Kaveh does though and swiftly starts to question him. 

“Where are you going? Back to work I’d hope.”

That has you turning around right before the door.

“I have some things I need to acquire at the Bazaar. Since you’re also going I thought to simply come along.”

You smile, you appreciate the thought, but feel Kaveh won’t in the slightest.

“Oh no you’re not coming with us! Knowing you, you’d try to but in with your own ‘advice’ when you don’t even understand the first thing about art. The clothes our Player is designing are for Lord Kusanali. Any help that you could provide would only serve to make the design a disaster.”

Your face falls as Kaveh starts an argument with Alhaitham, exactly what you expected. You debate dragging him away, but decide against it, saying you’ll wait for him outside. The only sign that he heard you is the slight turn of his head before you step outside yourself.

As you exit you look at the heart-shaped box Alhaitham gave you. You’re far too impatient to wait until you get home to see what’s inside, but you don’t know how to open it. You fiddle with it for a while when you hear the door open and close. Turning around you see Kaveh step outside and shove the box in his direction. 

“Huh? What’s this?”

“Alhaitham gave this to me, but I have no idea how to open it. Can you maybe, help me?”

He complains under his breath hearing Alhaitham’s name, but does take it from you to inspect it. Barely any time passes when he realizes what it is and presses on the jewel in the centre of the box. You flinch as wings suddenly pop out from its sides. Kaveh hands it back to you, and you stare at it with glee. He gave you a Sumeru styled glider.

“What a coincidence.”

You roll your eyes and try pressing the jewel to get the wings to retract, which it does, and tell Kaveh to shush. 

“Give him the benefit of the doubt just this once. I’ll have to thank him later. Anyway, what was the plan again?”

A smile finally forms on his face, and he goes over the plan he concocted “Yes! First we’ll stop by the Grand Bazaar, the Zubayr Theatre will have plenty of costumes that we can look at. I also know a few market stalls that sell fabric-”

You listen to him go on for a while when your eyes start to wander, and it’s when your eyes land on someone rummaging through their clothes looking for something you remember Kaveh’s and Alhaitham’s shared idle animation. He had them earlier, but just to make sure you decide to ask anyway.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you have your keys right Kaveh?

Kaveh stops and turns to you. You see his face contort multiple times, like he’s struggling to decide whether he should feel offended or not, before sighing.

“Of course I do, they're right… Uhh.”

You cross your arms and stare at him with as much disappointment you could muster. You watch as his face turns red as he continues patting himself down. Soon he gives up and slumps.

“... I think I left them with all of my things.”

You raise an eyebrow. “How did you even-”

“I have no idea. Give me a sec I’ll go get them.”

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Nahida twirls around in front of a mirror much larger than her, looking at the clothing you made for her from all angles. Her green mantelet swirls around her, the edge covered in padisarah designs and her bell chiming with every movement. The coat underneath a darker shade filled with swirls and flowing behind her legs. The necklace you gave her thumping against the sleeveless white shirt. In case she wanted some type of sleeves you also made white add-on sleeves with golden cufflets. Where the shirt ends, beads were placed to separate the blue and purple scarf around her waist. It had pale yellow ruffles that flowed over her pants. The pants are fairly puffy, also white and stop right above her ankles. You also decided to make her shoes, white and the same green as her mantelet with gold accents and adorned with green jewels at their tips. 

You fidget in your place behind her and mindlessly twiddle your thumbs. She hasn’t said anything yet, and it was starting to get to you. You spent a long time looking over clothes and books with Kaveh to try and understand Sumeru design, but even after all the studying you were still nervous presenting it to her. You’re at least thankful Wanderer hasn’t said anything to spite you yet.

Not wanting to be stuck in suspense any longer you just decide to ask her directly. “So Nahida… Do you like it? ‘Cause if you don’t I can make something else-”

“No I love it!” She turns and lets you see the massive smile on her face, her arms still spread wide. “I especially like the scarf. I’m not exactly sure why, but it reminds me of something I lost. I appreciate it, thank you!”

You breathe a sigh of relief. The scarf is what you were most worried about since it didn’t match the rest of the colour scheme. Especially since Kaveh had quite a bit to say about it, but you felt it to be integral. 

She then turns her attention to Wanderer, who still hasn’t said anything yet. “What do you think?”

He stares at her outfit for a moment, looking her up and down, before sighing and reluctantly giving his own opinion, “It’s… Alright.”

You elbow him in the arm for that which he barely even reacts to. “Oh come on, surely you have more to say than that.”

His brow twitches, “It’s amazing you managed to make anything presentable.”

You scoff and back away from him, “Never mind I don’t want your opinion anymore.”

Nahida claps her hands and grabs both of your attention, “I’m glad you like it too! Maybe our player can design you some new clothes as well!” 

“As if.” “Fat chance.”

You both end up dismissing the idea at the same time. The thought of working as hard as you did for Nahida on someone like Wanderer makes you want to die. He probably wouldn’t even try it on.

You then remember Kaveh wanted you to tell him everything after once you finished up here. Knowing him he’s been letting this eat away at his thoughts, so you should probably head off now.

You relay this to both of them, Nahida nods in understanding before waving cheerfully and Wanderer just walks off, causing you to roll your eyes. You wave back to Nahida and as you turn around you suddenly trip and fall face-first into the floor.

“Oh, sorry. I was just trying to stretch, you got in my way.”

Looking up you see Wanderer, dead faced as usual, but you can see the mirth in his eyes. Kaveh is instantly forgotten as you feel rage fill you and bubble under your skin. He starts to walk towards the exit, and you hop up to follow him, yelling and cussing him out as you try to catch up. Nahida watches on with a small smile, clutching the scarf in her hands.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 

Thanks for reading! 

Here’s the sketch I made to try and better describe her clothing. I’m terrible at describing clothing and wish I could just beam the perfect descriptors onto the page lmao.

I’m not exactly happy with the colour scheme (The cloak/mantelet reminds me too much of Collei’s), but this was the first time I’ve designed anything more complicated than a sweater and hoodie lol. I’m still proud I managed to come up with anything. As to why I gave importance to the scarf, it’s ‘cause I tried to make it look like a Rukkhashava Mushroom. 

“A fungus that grows in layers upon layers, like a sea of clouds, and which mostly grows on trees deep in the rainforest. Therefore, they are considered by the people of Sumeru to be the holy crystallization of Rukkhadevata's legacy. In Sumeru, those who dwell in the forest have a tradition of offering Rukkhashava Mushrooms to the Akademiya, but no one knows what these offerings are meant to be used for. Word has it that the Akademiya always performs a secret annual ritual at the Sanctuary of Surasthana, during which the sages will consume these mushrooms to commemorate Lord Rukkhadevata's sacrifice.”

And here’s her beta designs from Hoyo if you’re interested

#Genshin x reader #Sagau #Self Aware Genshin #Kaveh x Reader #Wanderer x Reader #Nahida & Reader #X Reader #Reader Insert #I could barely read this over when I finished so if there’s any spelling mistakes please don’t tell me #This is all over the place #but I had fun #Also I realized when writing this I love people arguing and bantering #Being able to argue with others with no real malice behind it or any hard feelings is peak relationship to me #Pois.Writes #Pois.Posts

[poisonous-honey]

*Loses 50/50*

Player: …So a sacrifice is required *summons lvl 1 Keqing*

Keqing: I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE YOU LOST TO PICK A NEW TARGET

#genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #x reader #pois.writes #sagau #self aware genshin #Pois.Posts

[poisonous-honey]

Liyue archon quest

*Zhongli talking about another task needed for his own fucking funeral*

Player: Are you the Geo Archon? I swear if you are, I'm going to hate you forever for wasting everyone's time

Zhongli: … No?

Player: You better hope you can keep that.

He, in fact, couldn't keep that

#genchin crack #genshin reader insert #genshin incorrect quotes #this is for the 5 other Zhongli haters lmao #D for Dick Sucker #It was only downhill after this quest #That ranking I gave him is #believe it or not #an improvment #x reader #pois.writes #Pois.Posts #zhongli slander #sagau #self aware genshin

[poisonous-honey]

*During Duel! The Summoners' Summit! In 3.7*

Itto: Once they get to Inazuma, I'll ask them to duel with my deck! That way, they won't be able to skip through my charm and fall for me in an instant! I'll be at the top of the charts in no time Shinobu-

Shinobu: …Itto. The Player's not playing the story for this event

Itto: This plan is full prof- wait what

Shinobu: You should already know they don't like Genius Invocation. They figured they'd be forced to play it and decided not to do the story. They aren't even doing the TCG side events for the primogems.

Itto: …WHAT!? BUT I WAS SUPPOSED TO WOO THEM SO THEY FINALLY PULL ON MY BANNER. HOW WILL THEY PULL IF THEY STILL DON'T KNOW HOW COOL I AM-

Shinobu: I don't think he'd take it very well if I tell him he was one of the reasons they skipped this event

#genchin crack #genshin incorrect quotes #sagau #self aware genshin #I don’t like itto sorry not sorry lol #genshin reader insert #itto slander #Pois.Posts #pois.writes

[poisonous-honey]

I was reading your sagau fics and suddenly remembered that I named Wanderer Omega.kitten as a joke... how do you think he and the other characters would feel about that?

Naming Wanderer Something Silly

Notes: I honestly admire how far some of you people go for the sake of the bit lmao. I could never name him something like that. The closest I’d ever get is calling him something like “BRUCE” in all caps.

💛💛💛💛

He hates you, or at least he tries too.

When you first gave it to him, he was so stunned and appalled he ended up asking for confirmation much harsher than he was supposed to

He even made you confirm twice that yes - this is the name you want to give him

He was bitter the rest of the conversation. Watching Paimon try to contain her laughter and seeing the amusement in Nahida’s eyes didn't help

It doesn't get any better once his updated name gets signalled to the rest of the cast

Everyone around him constantly tries to tease him. The NPCs know better than to mess with him, but the vision bearers in Sumeru won’t let up

It gets even worse when Childe visits. He tries to get him to leave every time, saying “You're not even supposed to remember who I am.”

Childe just claps back with “Well our Player isn't playing. Who knows what I'm supposed to be doing.”

“Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps, instead of conversing with a stranger, you should be working?”

He’s never able to get him to leave, and the urge to kill Childe rises every time he sees him approaching

The only solace he might have from all the teasing is the Traveller

The Traveller's reaction relies heavily on what you’ve named him

If it’s also silly they might sympathize with him

If it’s not than they’re going to tease him as much as everyone else, and he’ll have no saving grace

The only time he’ll get any rest from the others is during an event he’s apart of

As long as they’re all still keeping their sentience underwraps they have to abide by the script

Which means they have to call him “Hat Guy” to his unfortunate pleasure he still doesn’t like it, but it’s at least better than yours

He really, really wants to hate you

But whenever he hears you laugh because of it, his anger subsides a little and he internally scoffs

He guesses he’s fine with whatever keeps you playing

#Sagau #self aware genshin #Pois.Asks #Anonymous #Pois.Writes #Pois.Posts

[poisonous-honey]

The Venti Parable

(This is a re-upload: originally posted on UniverseUchu on Feb 25, 2023)

Characters: Venti and The Narrator. The Reader and Stanley have very little presence

Warnings: None really. They enter the zending room if that upsets you, but they barely stay there for long. This is mostly in drabble form and lightly skimmed for errors

This is both the Narrator’s and Venti’s worst nightmare. An omnipotent, self-destructive perfectionist who strives to keep everything self-contained and the ever funky little god of freedom.

Venti is not impressed with this game of choice in the slightest. He had hoped his position in your heart would’ve saved him from the torture some of the others have been put through, but he was unfortunately not given this blessing. He didn’t feel like following this narrator’s every whim, he only wanted to do that with you. He was free to do as he pleases

As you’re talking to the Narrator to convince him, having someone else to narrate for just a few runs would help him with his story (“He can speak! You can get instant feedback!”) Venti sits in the office next to Stanley. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll let Venti play the game in Stanley’s place for a short while, only because you keep incessantly asking.”

“Hey! I am great company. Wouldn’t it at least be nice to have someone else to talk to for a little while?”

“This is the story of a man named Venti”

He sighs and gets up from his position next to Stanley before walking through the office

After what he feels was him being ignored, Venti reaches a fork in the road

“When Venti came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.”

He holds his chin with his hand and closes his eyes, acting as if he was deeply thinking about his next course of action. Of course, he already knew what he'd do as soon as the directions were spewed at him.

“No, I think I'd rather go right.”

Que sighing from above. Quelle Surprise

~~~

After getting told no one would ever love him and having the parable restart, though disoriented, his next objective is to try and see if he could leave the building

He was not a fan of the Narrator and vice versa

His first attempt is to see if he can jump out of any windows

Honestly surprised he managed to fall through one on his first try (or at all, really)

He had a bit of hope that he had escaped the Narrator, but after accidentally breaking the phone and still getting an ending, he highly doubted it.

And he sighed as he was unfortunately proven right, and the Narrator starts to monologue

“What do you think, are you sick of this gag yet?”

Venti didn’t think there was a correct answer, so he just hit yes while smiling cheekily up into the air. At this point he was just trying to be entertaining for his player, but so was the Narrator

“Now would be the time I go on about having ample amounts of opportunities to restart the game, but unfortunately for you, our player is in control of that. Since all I hear is laughter on their end, I'm going to try to make this as miserable as possible, before they reset to help you out.”

As the Narrator started to sing, Venti quickly looked towards the screen in hopes he could get you to reset immediately, but all you did was shrug

How very cruel of you

~~~

After a few more runs, the last of which had Venti falling flat on his face, he decided to see where listening to the narrator got him

The Narrator kept to the script as usual, he was a professional after all, but the light elation in his voice was obvious to the two of you

Venti couldn’t help but mess with him on the way though

The Narrator could feel his temper rising, watching Venti doing literally nothing. Letting out a sigh, he directs his next questions to you. “Did you put him up to this? Be honest with me here, I have— I am extremely skeptical of this entire ordeal.” You laugh as you hear The Narrator’s anger and Venti asking if he wasn’t allowed to simply relax, further upsetting The Narrator. “I’ve done no such thing. Informing either party beforehand would’ve made this far less entertaining.” “So you’re telling me that everyone, but me, is able to see what’s so fascinating about a broom closet? If that’s where you’re getting at, then it’s absolutely wonderful to have confirmation that I am, truly, the smartest person here.” “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Narrator Sir.” “... I refuse to acknowledge this behaviour.”

Finally making it to the end and turning off the mind control machine, every light turns off as The Narrator starts his freedom ending speech

The door slowly opens and Venti can just about feel the wind call to him

Daylight peaks through the opening and grows larger every second as it descends. He can barely wait for the door to fully open and finally be able to see the skies.

As the door comes to a stop on the floor and Venti takes in the view, he finally feels a sense of ease wash over him since he was brought here. The scenery was truly beautiful.

Venti takes his first steps forward onto the grass and as he continues to drown out The Narrator’s dialogue, he figures that maybe this was the reason you brought him here out of all games.

“...- And Venti was happy.”

The Narrator finishes speaking. Venti opens his mouth to actually throw him a genuine compliment - when-

It all fades to black

And within the blink of an eye, he wakes up in the office next to Stanley, who can do nothing but look at him with a reassuring gaze and wave.

Venti just about curls into a ball and cries while Stanley panics and silently frets over him

“That’s the ending you wanted to guide me to...”

“It’s called the ‘Freedom Ending!’ The one true ending for my story that Stanley refuses to cooperate with me on. Surely someone such as yourself understands and is able to appreciate what I’m trying to-”

“On every level of irony, you’ve managed to single-handedly rip away my own freedom with this horrific outcome.”

~~~

Walking through the red door after bamboozling The Narrator long enough, Venti reaches the platform and is quickly stunned at how pretty the light show is

“Right here, see! All I want is to show Stanley, our dear player, and now you, something remarkable. Now tell me. Can you really look at this space and say it’s not truly beautiful?”

Venti giggled before spinning and sitting down. “Why, this room is a poet's dream! The only thing I’d add is nature.”

He sat in the room for a bit longer, just staring at the stars and light show. This is the closest Venti’s gotten to a true place of rest in a while, so he’d like to treasure it a bit more before leaving.

Eventually tearing his eyes away from the sparkles, Venti looks around and realizes the only rooms here are the space room he’s currently in,  and a room with some stairs. Getting up and going over, the narrator panics.

“Hey Venti, what are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m just looking around. I haven’t seen an exit, so I want to know where the stairs lead.”

“But we haven’t even been here that long a-and there’s nothing over there but stairs, they don’t go anywhere.”

“... It seems I’m in a predicament. Oh, my dear player, where is the exit?”

“Don’t tell him! He’s done nothing but ruin my story time and time again, the least both of you could do is allow me this solace for a little while longer.”

“But I followed your every instruction just before this run!”

All you do is sigh. Maybe you should’ve told Venti not to come here. “... I’m going to begin the game again.”

“But my peace and tranquility!” “But don’t you want to see the proper ending?”

“No, I really don’t and trust me, you won’t want to take the intended ending either.”

~~~

“Player I have to admit, the only difference working with Venti is the constant sass I’ve been receiving in turn. This hasn’t been beneficial in the slightest.”

“Hey! I still gave you plenty of good input you can use!”

“I highly disagree.”

“I beg to differ!”

You had hoped meeting Venti would help The Narrator with some of his issues, but without informing Venti in advance, all they did was annoy each other. Oh well, it was still fun to witness.

“I hope we never meet again.”

“And I hope you learn to enjoy life's intricacies instead of obsessing over the same story over and over… Aaaand that I never have to go through this ever again.”

Venti trusts you with his entire being, he really does, but if you offer him a chance to participate in another game he's going to be asking a lot of questions beforehand

#Pois.Posts #Genshin x Reader #Sagau #Self Aware Genshin #Venti x Reader #X Reader #Self Indulgence As Usual Baby #the stanley parable x reader #tsp x reader #Pois.Writes