The MLB season is well underway and I’m back into the seasonal swing of baseballposting! The Twins have invented new and unusual ways of being confusing and frustrating this year, so let’s not talk about that. Instead, here is a complete team of all my favorite non-Twins current players.
C: Salvador Pérez
Holds the single season home run record for a catcher, was an integral part of both Royals World Series runs, and balled out in the WBC this year. Probably not a Hall of Famer, but my perception of his ability is certainly skewed by the fact that he wrecks the Twins every year.
1B: Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
How is this guy still only 24??? A true generational talent (literally) and he knows it. One of the most fun power hitters to watch in MLB, and his other tools are a lot better than most in that profile. Also mad respect for his eternal hatred of the Yankees, I live vicariously through that.
2B: José Altuve
A really stand-up guy and the beloved face of a franchise that’s been through a lot, only some of its own making. A ridiculously consistent .300 hitter, now with some leadoff home run power too, and even has an outside shot at 3,000 hits. I’d love to see him get there, he deserves it.
3B: Eugenio Suárez
Good vibes only! I love his energy, I feel like he contributes so much to the Mariners’ great team culture. A true TTO player and has probably one of the lesser known 49-homer seasons, definitely underrated overall. Also, really good hair.
SS: Francisco Lindor
My favorite player on Cleveland and I am very glad he’s elsewhere now so I can root for him wholeheartedly. Super well rounded player with a ton of baseball style and personal style. Another guy who balled out in the WBC, his inside-the-park home run was absolutely electric.
LF: Randy Arozarena
Big Game Randy! It was crazy watching his run in the 2020 playoffs, and then he went and became a Mexican folk hero. The man is pure concentrated highlight reel, from stealing home in the 2021 ALDS to the crazy catches in the WBC, and with plenty of swagger to boot.
CF: Julio Rodríguez
New face of baseball, anyone? He’s really got it all: talent, charisma, looks, athleticism, youthful energy, ambition, team loyalty, branding. Plus showing out at the Home Run Derby, challenging Mike Trout’s rookie records, and breaking the playoff drought. Yeah, he’s got a bright future with those Mariners.
RF: Juan Soto
A ridiculously min-maxed combo of power and plate discipline that makes his numbers seem unreal. Super fun to watch at the plate with the swag and the patented shuffle. Plus he's got the Narratives of being forged on a World Series winner and traded to a superteam in his prime.
DH: Yordan Álvarez
Just ridiculously good. Hits for unbelievable power and solid average, and already has a laundry list of all-time iconic moments. A historic walkoff and a World Series winning home run in the same postseason, and that's not even the year he won ALCS MVP.
SP: Max Scherzer
A consistently great pitcher who finally stopped being underrated as a centerpiece of a great Nationals team with a storybook World Series run. Classic super intense SP but in a fun way and not an asshole way. Also a players' union leader for years, we love a workers’ rights king.
SP: Shohei Ohtani
Top 20 hitter. Top 10 pitcher. No comparison. He’s also a superstar in Japan to a magnitude baseball hasn’t seen in the US in decades, and lives up to the hype with charisma, leadership, and the clutch gene. Also him closing out the WBC by striking out Mike Trout was so freaking badass.
SP: Framber Valdez
A model of consistency for pitching, with a distinctive skillset and also fashion sense. The most square shaped man in baseball. He’s gone from an inspirational backstory to a true Cy Young caliber pitcher and an absolute stopper in the playoffs, also proof that Therapy Works.
SP: Sandy Alcántara
A throwback to the days when they let pitchers throw until their arms fell off, except his doesn’t, and he’s still elite. There’s something so satisfying about complete games, and he’s the guy for ‘em. Also a great leader for Miami’s young rising pitching staff.
SP: Luis Castillo
An underrated guy who’s very good at what he does and a giant slayer against tough lineups. The perfect ace for one of baseball’s best pitching staffs, with his immediate commitment to the team and the Mariners’ culture. Also his strikeout fist pump is super cute.
RP: Edwin Díaz
Just absolutely dominant last year, completing his redemption arc under the NYC spotlights. His entrance song and the hype around it has done wonders for growing the game and kickstarting an incredibly fun trend. Super passionate and upbeat guy too, wishing him the best in his recovery.
RP: Andrés Muñoz
Oh look, another Mariner! I love guys who throw heat and are effective with it. Super young guy with a ton of potential, would love to see him and Duran battling it out for reliever of the year for years to come.
RP: Emmanuel Clase
I can somewhat respect the game of a division rival, and Clase is as good as it gets. Any AL Central team that goes into the 9th trailing knows the game is already over. He’s Mariano Rivera-esque with that dominant cutter, and his save in the All-Star Game was absolutely electric.
RP: Devin Williams
If you throw the best pitch of its kind in baseball and have a cool name for it, you’re automatically so badass. He’s pretty underrated being on the same team as Josh Hader for 2.5 years, but as the primary closer and with a handful of accolades already, I expect that to change.
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2008-2009 - We will not be silenced. We must fight back against transphobia.
For Stacy Brown, died on January 8, 2008, in Baltimore, MD.
For Patricia Murphy, murdered on January 8, 2008, in Albuquerque, NM.
For Adolphus Simmons, murdered on January 21, 2008, in Charleston, SC.
For Fedra, murdered on January 22, 2008, in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia.
For Ashley Sweeney, murdered on February 4, 2008, in Detroit, MI.
For Sanesha Stewart, murdered on February 10, 2008, in Bronx, NY.
For Cameron McWilliams, who took her own life on February 11, 2008, in Doncaster, South Yorkshire, United Kingdom.
For Lawrence King, murdered on February 12, 2008, in Oxnard, CA.
For the unknown person murdered on February 22, 2008, in Brasília, Distrito Federal, Brazil.
For Simmie Williams Jr., murdered on February 22, 2008, in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
For Luna, murdered on February 28, 2008, in Loures, Grande Lisboa, Portugal.
For Lloyd Nixon, murdered on April 16, 2008, in West Palm Beach, FL.
For Sylvana Berisha, murdered on June 24, 2008, in Hamburg, Germany.
For Rosa Pazos, murdered on July 11, 2008, in Sevilla, Spain.
For Juan Carlos Aucalle Coronel, murdered on July 14, 2008, in Lombardy, Italy.
For Jaylynn L. Namauu, murdered on July 17, 2008, in Makiki Honolulu, HI.
For Samantha Rangel Brandau, murdered on July 29, 2008, in Milan, Lombardy, Italy.
For Aimee Wilcoxson, murdered on November 3, 2008, in Aurora, CO.
For Dilek Ince, murdered on November 11, 2008, in Ankara, Turkey.
For Yasmin, murdered on November 20, 2008, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For Bibi, murdered on November 21, 2008, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For Roberta Gavou, murdered on November 24, 2008, in Rome, Italy.
For the 6 unknown people murdered in November/December 2008 in Brazil.
For Noelia, murdered on December 17, 2008, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For the unknown person murdered on December 18, 2008, in Gebze, Kocaeli, Turkey.
For the unknown person murdered on December 24, 2008, in Rosate, Milan, Italy.
For Michael Hunt, murdered on December 26, 2008, in Indianapolis, IN.
For Taysia Elzy, murdered on December 26, 2008, in Indianapolis, IN.
For Kátia Otacílio Vilela, murdered on January 1, 2009, in Jataí, Goiás, Brazil.
For Mhtium Abululak, murdered on January 3, 2009, in Castelfranco Veneto, Treviso, Italy.
For Alexa Rojas Castro, murdered on January 7, 2009, in Monterrey, Nuevo León, Mexico.
For Cynthia Nicole, murdered on January 9, 2009, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For Marcela Cairo Souza, murdered on January 9, 2009, in Jataí, Goiás, Brazil.
For Aline da Silva Riviera, murdered on January 16, 2009, in Castelfranco Veneto, Treviso, Italy.
For Caprice Curry, murdered on January 17, 2009, in San Francisco, CA.
For “Roviilson” Teixeira, murdered on January 18, 2009, in Londrina, Paraná, Brazil.
For Minja K., murdered on January 19, 2009, in Belgrade, Serbia.
For “Juan Carlos” Guillén Bautista, murdered on January 20, 2009, in Acámbaro, Guanajuato, Mexico.
For “Víctor Manuel” Albor Camacho, murdered on January 20, 2009, in Acámbaro, Guanajuato, Mexico.
For Gaby Rosales Aragón, murdered on January 21, 2009, in Diriamba, Carazo, Nicaragua.
For the unknown person who died from head injuries on January 22, 2009, in Guayaquil, Guayas, Ecuador.
For Dayana Nicole Castillo García, murdered on January 22, 2009, in Tarapoto, San Martín, Peru.
For Cita Solorzano (muxé), murdered on January 28, 2009, in Asunción Ixtaltepec, Oaxaca, Mexico.
For Camila Hernández Nieto, murdered on January 28, 2009, in Sincelejo, Sucre, Columbia.
For Daisy, murdered on January 31, 2009, in San Cristobal, Chiapas, Mexico.
For Noor Azlan Khamis, murdered on February 1, 2009, in Johor Bahru, Malaysia.
For “Ailton” Correa Maia, murdered on February 1, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For Will Teixeira da Silva, murdered on February 1, 2009, in Recife, Pernambuco, Brazil.
For Cristy, murdered on February 10, 2009, in Ciudad de Guatemala, Guatemala.
For the unknown person who died of cosmetic filler poisoning on February 18, 2009, in Franca, São Paulo, Brazil.
For Camila Pereira, murdered on February 18, 2009, in Uberlândia, Minas Gerais, Brazil.
For Puttalakshmi’s (Hijra), murdered on February 19, 2009, in Bangalore, Karnataka, India.
For Francisco das Neves, who died on February 20, 2009, in Cabo de Santo Agostinho, Pernambuco, Brazil.
For Vicky Londoño Chavarría, who died on February 21, 2009, in Ibagué, Tolima, Colombia.
For Pequeña P, who died on February 27, 2009, in Gualeguaychú, Entre Ríos, Argentina.
For Miriam Nunes Lucas, who was murdered on March 1, 2009, in Ribeirão das Neves, Minas Gerais, Brazil.
For "Wanderson Wanderley" Teixeira da Rocha, who was murdered on March 4, 2009, in João Pessoa, Paraíba, Brazil.
For "Moisés” Guimarães de Lima, who was murdered on March 4, 2009, in João Pessoa, Paraíba, Brazil.
For D. Borges, who was murdered on March 4, 2009, in Londrina, Paraná, Brazil.
For Kirsi Ubrí, who was murdered on March 8, 2009, in Santiago, Dominican Republic.
For "Julio" Avila Albarracín, who was murdered on March 10, 2009, in Mar del Plata, Buenos Aires, Argentina.
For Adriana Sánchez López (muxé), who was murdered on March 12, 2009, in Juchitán, Guerrero, Mexico.
For Virgen Castro Carrillo, who was murdered on March 21, 2009, in Sinaloa, Mexico.
For Eda Yildirm, who was murdered on March 22, 2009, in Bursa, Turkey.
For the unknown person murdered on March 24, 2009, in Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Brazil.
For Ramya, murdered on March 24, 2009, in Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu, India.
For Sasha Estefania, murdered on March 24, 2009, in Caracas, Venezuela.
For Smail L., murdered on March 24, 2009, in Aldaia, Valencia, Spain.
For Gisela “Roni” Galante, murdered on April 1, 2009, in Gualeguaychú, Entre Ríos, Argentina.
For the unknown person murdered on April 11, 2009, in Niterói, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
For Melek D., murdered on April 11, 2009, in Ankara, Turkey.
For Image Devereux, murdered on April 14, 2009, in Fayetteville, NC.
For “Gabriel” Carniero de Sousa, murdered on April 18, 2009, in Fortaleza, Ceará, Brazil.
For Jeva Padilla, murdered on April 21, 2009, murdered on April 21, 2009, in Santiago, Dominican Republic.
For "Ramón” Martínez, murdered on April 23, 2009, in Santiago, Dominican Republic.
For Juliana Martins, murdered on April 27, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For "Caio Júnior” dos Santos, murdered on May 3, 2009, in Varzea Grande, Mato Grosso, Brazil.
For Fernanda Botelho, murdered on May 4, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For Diksy Jones, murdered on May 6, 2009, in Upper Hutt, Wellington, New Zealand.
For Jenifer, murdered on May 6, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For Tigresa de Souza Reis, murdered on May 7, 2009, in Feira de Santana, Bahia, Brazil.
For the 9 people who were murdered between January 1, 2009 and May 15, 2009 in Guatemala.
For the 18 people who were murdered between January 1, 2009 and May 31, 2009, in Venezuela.
For Xiomaran Duras, murdered on May 18, 2009, in Caracas, Distrito Capital, Venezuela.
For Çağla, murdered on May 22, 2009, in Ankara, Turkey.
For the unknown person murdered on May 24, 2009, in Belo Horizonte, Minas Gerais, Brazil.
For Foxy Ivy, murdered on May 25, 2009, in Detroit, MI.
For "Pedro" Sánchez Pérez, murdered on May 26, 2009, in San Miguel Canoa, Honduras.
For Dara, murdered on May 26, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For Ketlin, murdered on May 31, 2009, in Uruaçu, Goiás, Brazil.
For Papucha, murdered on June 1, 2009, in La Victoria, Peru.
For “La Luli”, murdered on June 7, 2009, in San Lorenzo, Puerto Rico.
For Fredrick “Kelly” Watson, murdered on June 9, 2009, in Albuquerque, NM.
For Carla Regina Bento, murdered on June 11, 2009, in São Paulo, Brazil.
For Catherine, murdered on June 11, 2009, in San Salvador, El Salvador.
For Tanya Ardón, murdered on June 11, 2009, in San Salvador, El Salvador.
For Rafaele, murdered on June 14, 2009, in Curitiba, Paraná, Brazil.
For Anita Fajardo Ríos, murdered on June 16, 2009, in El Carmen, Puebla, Mexico.
For the unknown person, murdered on June 22, 2009, in Belém, Pará, Brazil.
For Camilla, murdered on June 22, 2009, in Volgograd, Russia.
For “Enrique Jhosvani” Guevara, murdered on June 24, 2009, in Lima, Peru.
For Luana, murdered on June 24, 2009, in Maceió, Alagoas, Brazil.
For Hadise, murdered on June 29, 2009, in Istanbul, Turkey.
For Martina Jackson, murdered on June 30, 2009, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For Valeria, murdered on June 30, 2009, in Tegucigalpa, Distrito Central, Honduras.
For all the other trans siblings who were murdered or went missing.
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