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#THERYE ALL SO FUCKING COOL
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HII MAC speaking of. homestuck godtiers. i think u would. appreciate that same artists heart aspect palette redesign >:333
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Bracket H Round 1
Poll 24
Skitt & Ena & Olive (@bootsieboots) vs. Apricity Nix (@decapod-appreciator)
495. Skitt & Ena & Olive (@bootsieboots)
skitt usez any, ena usez they/it/she (bc of her eczema), and olive usez he/they
The TL;DR 4 them is that theyre little fucked up guys living in a circus 2gether. Skitt is a repressed traumatized clown amphibian, Olive is a sweet jackalope who acts like an asshole as a defense mechanism, and Ena is a chaotic little shithead w a short fuse, whos actually secretly the mom friend. I like to put them in2 situations in my head and then never write said situations down. Also theyre all aspec and trans.
Skitt:
he is simply a little guy! (puts him thru the horrors puts him thru the horrors p) Oh, hes a bit fucked up actually.
-a mishmash of basically any amphibian features i think r cool! It is also a clown! Isnt that silly? Well its actually 4 trauma reasons. Lol. lmao.
-has rejection sensitive dysphoria and wants every1 2 love him so much all the time. Cries and throws up when it inevitably doesnt work out.
-ADHD!
-super in2 fashion and makeup. Can u guess why? Trauma reasons, of course! Honestly most of her hobbies r rooted in wanting 2 escape something.
-i cant think of anything else non-spoilery 2 put here. Uhm. ze really likes bubble baths and swimming.
Olive:
A little skrunkly autismic sourpuss. He wishes that he cud b more sincere w people sometimes, but every past attempt has been met w people shutting them down, in 1 way or another. The only person in the world he feels even mildly comfortable around is Ena (and later on in the story, Skitt).
-acts like an asshole around most people bc theyre used 2 being seen as one. And by asshole, i mean a little quiet, sulking, wet cat in a corner of the room who makes angy faces at any1 who invades their space.
-mute! This is bc bunnies do not have vocal chords. Communicates thru sign language and annoyed noises. Screams when overstimulated. Yes, bunnies can scream, just not using vocal chords. There r also other sounds they can make! (mostly annoyed sounds. He does purr as well! Just like a real bunny)
-very in2 music. Plays the harmonica and other woodwind instruments that r easy 2 steal. Can they play good? Uhm. havent decided yet actually.
-has a sort of heart shaped facial scar and a broken antler he got from entirely mundane causes (antler is permanently broke, dont question how that works bc i dunno).
-very incredibly touch averse, only tolerates Ena’s touch. theyre also fat and very fluffy! Great 4 cuddling! But he wont let u. Sorry.
Ena:
Money gremlin!!! Chaotic anarchist motherfucker!!! Probably owes u money! Is currently being gay doing crime. In this world, 1 does not have to pay/steal 2 survive, but Ena does it anyways 2 fuck shit up and stir the pot.
-escaped from a shitty orphanage w Olive.
-horrible anger issues. If Olive is a sourpuss, Ena is a bomb waiting 4 an excuse 2 go off. This is bc in the orphanage, they learned that no 1 wud listen 2 them unless they scratched and fought and clawed and bit and punched. (and shocked!). Shes generally chill tho, just, its easy 2 get on her bad side.
-sorta the therapist friend, bc its good at telling ppl what they want 2 hear. Her charismatic attitude also helps when scamming people.
-uses prosthetics! In this world, aquatic animals r given the ability 2 stay on land 4 extended periods of time via prosthetics! Want 2 know more? Ask me :>
-basically blind. Electric eels have awful eyesight, and shes no exception! She can only see bright lights and colors. They use electrolocation 2 get around. (please ask me what it is if u dont know, i am v happy 2 infodump abt anything oc related!)
Remember kids, a vote 4 my ocs is a vote 4 disability, queerness, anarchy, the found family trope, little guys being put in situations therye entirely unequipped for, furries, and much more!
Skitt has a triangular dress with purple and yellow split colors, and purple leggings. Pointy, slender legs. A long pointed yellow hat with a little green thingy on top (idk what to call it). Blue eyes with froglike pupils. Minty-green, short, curly hair. A classic clown makeup look (off-white facepaint, a clown nose, and pennywise-esque makeup lines going from the bottom of his eyebrows to the sides of his mouth.
Olive is a jackalope with short, olive/forest green hair swooping over one eye. His eyes are the same color as his hair. Most of their fur is darkish brown, while his belly, his inner thighs, and lower left arm is beige. their right arm, lower legs, and the top of their ears are black. Only wearing black arm warmers thanks to sensory issues.
Ena is a vaguely pirate-themed girlie. Dark brown skinned, with grey arms and greyish legs. Big thicc tail. Mostly black hair. Tattered black shorts and an even more tattered, dark green crop top. Has red eyes and a red sash tied around its waist. Lots of little spots all over their skin. lazy-eyed.
496. Apricity Nix (@decapod-appreciator)
she/her
she's a werewolf she's aroace she stalks people on accident. she didn't know what a crime was until the police went after her. her best friends are a supervillan and a failed actress. she thinks she would make a good detective (she wouldn't). she's fun and friendly and sweet but still a fully thought out character. she runs away from her abusive home to find her sister and in the process finds a whole new family. she even takes down the government.
Pris is a short, pale girl with  black hair styled to look like wolf ears. she has brown eyes with diagonal red pupils and a bit of a snaggle tooth on one side.
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Oooooo that's interesting:0 so a guy gets dropped into a world of gods and expects sillies but ends up just vibing until the og guys come back.... Waugh. Interesting! < it's so interesting how it's like, now there's just some guy in the cicada husk of the world. And then the original guys come back like ???? Really neat au even if I don't know the guys ty for the explanation
oh shit i forgot you dont know the context of the legundo half of this au so legundo is a Guy, who follows me here on tumblr. hi legs, love you king <3. he has this series called the 100 days multiverse. youve seen all those 100 days challenge videos, someone makes a world and plays 100 days in hardcore, and then people added mods and stuff to keep it interesting. okay well legundo has a series thats that, except theres a bit of a plot, and the tldr barebones of it for explanation purposes is that when he hits 100 days he gets whisked away to the next world presumably by this fucked up obsidian monolith that shows up outta nowhere. theres a lot more going on but for explanation purposes that works for now. so he's been through a lot of worlds, theyre all connected, its very cool, therye really fun, he literally earlier today dropped a movie version of the 100 days series were he put all the 100 days videos into one, no idea if theres anything extra in there yet i havent been able to watch bc its been raining so none of my youtube videos are laoding, but yknow!!! check him out! and also check out dominion smp, its the origins server he runs and its really cool and has fun lore and hes a piglin and i love him.
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glasscoloredeyes · 3 years
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Journal Entry: A lesson paid and not the same
I slept all day again. Partly from my own incompetence to get off tumblr and because my neighbor below me start their usual romping with loud music around 3 am. I had somewhere to go but to no one surprise i was to exhausted and at   to no one surprise i didn't wake up until like ....6 pm  I was suppose to be meeting family and when I didn't show it up a woman individual they just assume the worst and contact everyone including my exboyfriend. But I'm awake and  in the dark because something about writing against dim light with the rest of your world cover in darkness unaware of the problems and dangers...is really fucking comforting but thats not what this post is about. also  im trying my VERY hardest to not bounce between webpages especially because although i blocked YouTube on my phone is not block on this computer  i paid 600 to end a friendship today. it went a little something like this . an much older man someone who i only know because we share a particular hobby and had the pleasure to work with comes out of no where and ask me for 200 he promises he will return it in 24 hours with more and i’m like i get 300 in unemployment a week. so for a friend i thought i could do this because  i would want someone to do this for me. so i do it and i think everything is ok but immediately he ask for more and i think maybe its an emergency even though my gut reaction said fuck this man dont do it after some more confusing banter i sent an additional 400 dollars and i thought everything was cool speed forward to me passing out for 4 to 5 hours and i get i think 3 to 6 missed called asking for money. at this point i am livid . there no way you magically mess up the price of whatever youre doing twice. if you're child and god forbid was kidnapped call the police because therye messy ass kidnappers and its really fuck up to expect one person to have money i even told him i didnt even have more money and he was like “ just send more just send more “ eventually told him to never contact me again because again its not about the money its about the respect and he could NEVER give me back the respect i had for him. its lost. he had the audacity to eb like thank you sweetie because again fuck the fact im angry and exhausted  and you literally demanded as much money out of me.  i wanted to unblock it just so i could tell him to fuck off but if i ever have to used it i know for a fact that will ne my undoing. because men can do whatever they want to you as a women body individual but you have to be the bigger person even tho you ALWAYS will be consider lesser than  its not about the money...its about the respect and now that he given me a full recipt to never respect him again i can get my moeny in 2 weeks and never have to deal with him.  i hope whatever he was doing was worth the blackmail the other part of this jounarl entry was apparently some skinny genderfluid individual telling woman that mansplaining is inherently sexist because its based off of gender. no its something that only men can do and when a women say that a man is mansplaining when he not that women is simply lying. telling me i cant tell you that what you did i was think less of me or over talk me becuase of my presenting gender - is sexist. if i say something that you didnt do and you can prove it and i say it doesnt matter becuase youre  a man is sexist but telling you you are mansplaining - is not sexist this same person then preceeded to say something misogynist and misandrist are the same...and they're just not. theyre are equally horrible but they hit in COMPLETELY different ways. the hatred of men usually ends with women ignorging excluding and living without men. the hatresd of woman usually result in the punishment death and beratement of women. yes are thier people out thier that hate men so much that it could also escalated to death and torture of men absolutely but that is not common. its horrible but its not common and it not the same.  whenever i hear someone saying this is sounds like teh alm of sexism and its just gross  well whatever. my mange arrived today and i feel alot better. ive now had 3 men steal alrge amounts of money and claim to care or berated me for it. i cant wait til i leave. now im off  to craigslist list to look for some fashion lamp so i can actually work in warm lighting instead of ....nah poshmark
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mingi-bubu · 4 years
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Watch “Love O2O” with Me!
Episode 21
she really just be chilling on the floor
spirit monsters??
she hasnt fed the tigers in days???
theyre dead right?
alskfjasdlkjfa the parallels
oh???  diemeng and nini!!!
llove to see it
i love this in game squad
nini’s shirt is so cuteee
i wonder if therye going to meet irl at some point
that’d be cool
oh did they lose?
:(
wow yikes this whole clan situation sounds oddly familiar to something that’s happened to me recently irl
nini *handshake emoji* me
not wanting to leave things bc youre attached
AWWWW OMG ARE WEIWEI AND DIEMENG GOING TO MEET UP???
quaking in my shoes
aldkfjalsdkj not at how she was scared by nai
???  what is he allUGAIDSOHFNAPIWERHTJN SWIMMING
BITCH
OH MYG OD
YES OH MY GOD
SHE GONNA FANTASY SO HARD
HIS FUCKIGN SMIRK I HATE MEN
cuuuuuuuuuuuteeeeee
bottom of the closet????
girl
GIRL
shoulders
alskdjf;asdkf she got caught fantasiging alkdjflkasdjf
HE FUCKING KNOWS IM SICK
ugh september please marry me
mandatory leaving
kodak and k.o on  a date bleadse
setpember is so cute shut UP
wow they really like this fucking song huh
you have her number, message her
diemeng queer i claim her
a;ldfkjasdklfj dragggg himmm
we dont fw the ex spouse
diemeng is so pretty
is she okay?
oh no....
poor diemeng
i wan to give her a hug
HAS HE BEEN ABUSING EHR
BTICH I WILL SWING ON A MAN
IVE KNOWN DIEMENG FOR ALL OF THREE MINUTES AND IM ALREADY RIDE OR DIE
to have someone look at me the way nai looks at that fucking cactus....
YES THE FUCK NAI IS DEVOTED
diemeng is my favorite side character
period
swimsuit shoppoing time
the adfkjasldkjf the fact she ran a way im sick
oh we fantasizing fantasizing
damn
okay then
akdfahewpoithangpf;kj
SHUT UP WITH THE SMILE IM FUCKIGN IN LOVE
what the FUCK is that
ritch bitch shit im disgusted
dadsklajsf did she grab the wrong ones
WHAT STYLE
WHAT FUCKING STYLE
im so concerned
well
curious
but still
if he comes out in a speedo im calling it a day
booooooo theyre just regular
hips
hipbones
he enjoyed that too much
what the fuck do you mean short and skinny???
ohhh diemeng...
baobei,,,
break up with the garbage bag man youre dating
HES CHEATING ISNT HE
RAT MAN
R A T M A N
that looks like a hotel ROOM OH MYG DOD
EW
hes cheating without cheating im
OH SHIT DIEMENG SHOWED THE FUCK UP
I LOVE HER
eye opener?
SHE
SHES STARTING SHIT
I LOVE THAT
i’ve literally never been more in love with a  woman
oh this girl is lying
yaoyao maybe has a conscious?
no
no she doesnt
but she looks conflicted nonetheless
why are the tables in the show so high up ???
jwel?  yeah????  like why take you there if theres notihing going on
such a pushover
the both of them
oh dear
this is going to be interesting
OH SHIT THAT RECEPTIONIST IS GOING TO BE ON THE PHONE REAL QUICK
everyone in the office like what is happening in here on this day
asdkjf;laksdj hes like why did you have to bring them
yes. yes you did.
no. no its not.
i do like his shirt though
i am
sick of this
like hes a dick but i dont like that he’s being used like this
oh my god
wow that was a bitchy move
this is just so
ugh i hate that they’re being so rude like this
ooooh
interesting....
hm
ugh and here i was thinking he suddenly developed a conscience
ugh i cannot stand these girls at all
oh wowwww he said i will take the bill for this one
shes suspicious
diemeng is
“her friends” bithc watch the fuck wehre youre stepping there bud
diemeng is my love
did they swmin??? or nah?
DKLJAFL;KJOPRIARUIHGJKD
HIS MOTHER IM SICK
AWWWWWW SHE SAOSIDHFHPAOWEIURHTPUAREGHAIUHFAIOW
HIS AJSD;LFKJASDKFAWEPI
HIS MOM REALLY IS THE FUCKING FUNNIEST PRESON
i lvoed that
i love this part so much also
“i recognize the numbers’ i cannot stand this man at all
CAR SMOOCHIEEEEES!!!
CUTE CTUE CTUE
shut fhcutk fuck fuck;jlkJDF;KLAJWPOIRHGANE
HES SO CUETE
HES SO
FUCKING
PRECIUS
WHEN HE
SMILES
erxi scared the fuck out of me too lfakdjfal;
aw erxi was able to finish blacksmithing
what the fuck do you mean thats the end of the episode
i am
angery i want more
but welll anyways
thats it for this episode
thank you for reading!!!
stay safe and stay healthy <333
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sly cooper 100
SLY 100a/n: this is for sly
I andy and this you don't understand me
this is my first story I'm posting on tumblr sly cooper 100                                                                                                                                      SLY 100
a/n: this is for sly 100 and it is my 100 story. this is beautiful and i'm crying becuz i nevah thuggt (which is like thought but thuggin) I'd get to so menny fucking stories. I love you wall but you guys should seriuousyl fucking review my stories moreyeah. FUCK YOU Sly cooper in 100.
"SLY COOPER 100″
"hey sly" "yeah bently" "why did you just say your name and 100 like that like you did that just you did there." "fuck if I know, that's some gay ass shit." "fuck." bently said. sly and bently were playing sly cooper thieves in time for the nintendo 65. it sucked. "nintendo 66 is bettar graphics sly. 100 times better" murry said. "fuck you murry let me play this game of myself bently made for me for our 100 anniversity of when we met each other and "man remembler the hampy camper?" murry screamed as he pooped himself and jizzed because that was funny. 100 times funnier that cod haters. "man fuck you murry. let's look at a clip." sly said like in family guy when they talk about the clips that happen in the story story. "flacsh back." bently and sly said. "this is how we met at the hampy fucking capper." the bently said. "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. it was the hastpy sstamper. sly was crying like a homo cuz his his parentos were dead like mentos (a/n only real men don't cry never ever fucking ever okay? FUCKERS) "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my parents are dead." sly siad. "join the fucking club." the main person, a bald fat dude that was like a rhino maybe or some other shit running the place said. he punched sly in the face. "fuck you shitty fuck fuck." sly said, scratching at his balls. "OOOH FUCK SHIT KID THAT HURT." the bald dude got really happy "your fuckign legit. nobody ever fucked wiht me like dat befo." he was black too. "my name patrick." "hi patrick." sly said 100 times. "hi there little boy. what your name?" "fuck you old man I'm leaving this shitty gay place already. i got a fucking cane and shit. FUCK YOU." "hey." "what?" "one fucking rule here shit." patrick said, punching yls in the ribs so they hurted and felt like broken. "fucking don't fuck with me fucker." he said and spat on sly, and rubbed his blood filled wounds on the dirt which hurt him quite a lot really.; ) sly cried and cried and cried until the night kame 100 minutes later. he missed his parents. "fuck this shitty shit fuckery fuckers." sly yelled at the 100 fire ants that crawled awl over him and burned him. then a bee stung him. "AHH I'M ALERGIC TO BEEEEEEEEEESSSS." sly said. 100 bees attacked him. "you guys." sly said as the bees stung him. "100 BEES" sly said. "BZZZ" the 100 bees said. sly got all puffy and could not breathe anymore! he was really scared and wet himself. "i'm really scared." "hey." "yeah?" sly said. "let me fucking help your gay ass." bently said, shooting sly with a needle. the shit went away and all the bees everywhere died. "fuck what was that shit?" sly said. "I feel all bettar." "fuck if I know. FUCK." bently said. "fuck's wrong with you, got fucking tourrets or some shit hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. "sly said he 100 times. (a/n; like the tourreets guy his vieeos are funny haha he must have like one hunnah videos or some shits) "dane cook is awesome.' bently said. "yeah he is let's whatch dan cock special on telijizzon." sly said much coolerly than he would have if he said television 100 times. they went into the hampy camp and watched the dane cook special 100 times. "hey are your parents dead too?" sly asked. "yeah they got killed in the fucking war." bently said crying. "miss them a fuck lot, shit head." "my parents got killed by a gay ouwl." "fuck." "I know right?" "do you wanna watch this dan cola special again?" "we already watched it like a 100 times so I don't think we should watch it again." "why" "I mean we alraddy watched it a lot." "100 times." "yeah." "okay" "let's go to bed." they went to bed. tehre was a fat fuck on the bed and it wasn't patrick. "this is murry he's retarded." bendly said as he pucked murry all over. "WAHHH WHY?" muruu said. "BLEHHH." sly said. "ahhh!" mrury said. he was really scurred. "HEY YOU FUCKERS OH MY GOOD FUCKING GOLLY WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS FUKCING LATE AHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?" patrick said as he knocked the door over. "SHIT HOLY SHIT GO TO BED GO TO FUCKIGN BED AHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!" patricks slaped all of them with a wicker metal pole. he pierced their ears and tied them together, and drugged them into his secret office. he opened the fucking locked safe and the floor opened and there were many gaters in there. and water I think. it was dark so they could see it not very well. "enjoy your FUCKING knight as you sleep with these dangerous critters." patrick said, drulpding them like dumplings into a very bad and dangerous place that was scary and scared them a lot. there were 100 baby alligators and 100 waters. "wha wha wha wha wha what are we gonna do do do?" bently sud. "i don't not not fucking know ok bently? i just don't now ok?" sly said. he was scarred. "harg." murry said. A/N: FOOFIL GWAP!!!! "grate idea murry!" bently said. sly bit the ropesz that tyed him and betnly and sly and murry together and they actually tasted good! THey tasted like beef jerkie. he through murry at the alligarytos and they started to bite murry. a lot. like if you were there you'd see al ot of murrys blood because they were biting the shitting fuck out of him! one even bit him on the balls but that made sly and bently laugh a lot. all in awl, they bit him 100 times. "sly! i do think thoses gater bited murry 100 fucking times!" bently said. "hahaha murry's a fag. i know that now." sly said. murry cried but sly and bentley laughed at him. they went back to theyre room to watch the dane coock special 100 more times. it was funny. very funny actually. "this dane cook special is funny actually." bentley said. "real talk bruh" sly said. "hey sly?" bentley said. "yes?" sly said. "you wanna see something cool?" bentley said. "i dunno. why?" sly said. "i askled you first." bently said. "who me? sly?" sly said. "your the only one in the room r-tard and murry's too gay and retarded for me to show him something this fuckity fuck cool." bentley said. "ok?" sly said. he was confused. "take a looky look at this." bently said. he pulled out a joint. "the fuck is this shit?" sly said. "it's called weed or mairjuwanna. it's good bro try some." bent-lee said. sly lit up a blunt and felt really good because he was high and that is what wheed does, it makes you feel high. and good. "bently bro...im so high.....your name is should be bluntly lol" sly said. "What the Fu-" Sly said as he was grabbed by someone behind him. It was Murry. "Hi Sly. it rhymes." Murry said. "Yes." Sly said. "Sly rhymes with Hi." "you guys wanna play Ultra Thuggn 5000® on the Xbox 360®???" murry murr said. "no you fatass retard. that game is lame. What the fuck? Fuck Mury, it's fucking chinese checkers. This game is lame. Heh heh eh.. it rhymes." sly sly said. "fat fat fatty! murrys a fat fat fattyy fuck fatty!" betgnly said. sly and bently started laffing at murry. like a lot. if you were therte you'd be so annoyed with how much they where laughing because it was lot. "haha" murry said. he was laffing to try and seem like therye bullying wasnt getting to him but deep inside murry was ANGRY. he did a double punch and punched sly and bently right in the fucking face. they fell down. sly falls down. bently felled down too! "my fists are dubble trubble mothrerfuckers! dubble bubble trubble!" murry said. "oh it's on you fat shitcake" sly said. he got up and grabbed murry's balls and put them in a Slap Chopâ„¢. he slapped the chop out of fucking murry's ball sacks. "ARGH HARG GUIRGE>...FUCK YOU SLY." murry said as his balls bled all over the blace. then something bad and not good happened. patrick found out that they escaped his bastardly trappy trap! "You little wobblering fucking cunts." he said. sly, bentlkey and murry started to cry. "how the fuck did you escape the gaters? you motherfuckers i'll kill you all myself. you little bastard fucks are nothing but trubble. i know it. ok?" patrick said (a/n not patrik sars from spungebob) "fuck you patrick, step the fuck out of my face motherfucker or i'm finna put a cap in your rhincoeriys ass." sly said. patrick pushed sly and bently and murry down. "Do you have an understanding of your life? Does not he? ! ! I put some pain in your life son, in some fucking pain. I want to fuck the shit out of you and your boy did not do anything since the first day of trouble. Do you understand it? Do you understand the langauge of shit that I speak? I want to fuck you! Finnish to break my belt, I whip out your fucking shit! Put whipped cream on your back, I whip out your shit! Are you all right? Are you crying? So you need to fucking shit works. To kill you, I kill the dust you're fucking your fucking homo trying to crush your body into dust. 100 seconds worth the pain I will give to you 100 years.You fucking faggots." patrtick screamed loud and loudly at them. bently wnet into his shell because he was really scared. so was sly. like if you were there and someone scary like patrick was yelling at you would you be scared? i fucking know i would. sly kicked bently who was in his shell over to patrick and hit him in the fuckin foot. "OW FUCK." he said. he fell back because sly just lunched bently at his foot and it hurt him a lot. he fell out the window and fell a lot and landed on the grass hard. 100 fire ants, 100 bees, 100 giraffes and 100 wolfs all attacked him! and they all had 100% rabies. "AH NO PLEASE I DON'T FUCKING WANTED TO DIE THIS WAY." Patrick screemed as the rabie animals ripped him to shred. there was blood and shit and a blody carc-ass all over the floor and the ground. patrick was fuckiond dead. "i'm happy patrick's dead." bently said. he came out of his shell. "yeah me too." sly said. "and me." murry said. "SHUT THE FUCK UP MURRY." sly said. he had a really fucking devious look on his face. "guys i think we should be criminals. it is our calling in our lives to steal shit and bad!" sly said. by bad sly meant bad in a cool way not bad like in the way that they'd fucking suck or some shit. "yeah that sounds like fun. a lot of run fun really." bentley said. flashbork over. "FUCK" murry yelled suddently "DAMN IT SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" sly said. he was really scared because they were all chille before. "sorry that story made me pissed. I have to hang out with you assholes now cuz of that shit." "the doors fucking right there pal, go the fuck out if you're gonna be a lil' bitch. we gonna call you lil' bitch from now on capeesh?" sly said like a new york bostin guy. "fune fickers shit the feck outta heeyeeh" murry said. "Ojay." sly said. "WHANT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!??" MURRY SAID. "I said ojay it's better than okay." sly said. "Okay." "NO!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SHIT!!! IT'S OJAY!!!!!" sly said. "AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Murry said. Murrys eys turned blood red. He grabbed the game disk and ran out smashing out a window. "good fucking riddance." sly said. "shit sly you think he's gonna try anad kill us?" "over my dead ass he is. FUCK HIM." "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. (a/n remember to do this story it funny) "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fuck bently what are we gonna do flashbacks 100 times or something?" "100 times?" "yeah" "I don't know that seems like a lot of flashbacks" "I know that's why I said it. it's a big number." "100 times seems like a lot" "it is" "maybe we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "maybe we shouldn't." "I think we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "ok" "yeah" "so what do you want to talk about?" "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fine whatever" "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. sly did a triple helix back fucking flump and landed on his ass. he still sucked at theifing shit so he fucked it up really badly. he talked on his fucking dial up shitty walkie fucking reh-SEE-verr because fuck it was the olden times or some gay as fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn ass drumpin flump. "shit" sly said into the walkie "sly what the shit are you fucked up and high? are you smoking crack? are you fucked up 100 ways from tomorrow?" bently said. "no bently I just forgot what we're stealing and where we are and when we are." "it is night time and you are stealing from this video game museum. we be robbing nintendo, microsott, sonny, all that shit." bentarly said literally. "oh" "so maybe you should go steal this video games or something 100 times." "I gotta take a dump first." sly said. he went to go poop in a toilette before he would need a moist towelett to clean his pants. fucking carmelita was hanging around the front of the bathrooms. "who the fuck are you some kind of pervert?" sly said quietly but and to himself so she wouldn't hear him but she did. she got really scared and ran away. sly went to the toilet and sat down and did number 2 100 times. he got up and washed his hands 100 times. then he saw a see ling skware move. he saw cankaleamgia hanging around up there. "fuck you are a pervert you fucking pervert. maybe you should be a cop instead of a pervert." sly said. "fuck that's a good idear." carmeiliat says as she jumps away. "shit" sly said as he rememerd what he did. "i took a shit." sly ran to the video games and stole some of them. he made sure to only get cool games. there was a geekazoid loser with a glow stick uniform doing sekuritee. sly punched him in the dick and ran away. "ahhh fucker." the guy said. the guy's name was a big fucking surprise, it was barack obama back when he was a nerd. flashback over. "fuck that was obama." sly said. "I fucking punched obama in the dick." "cool" "yeah" "maybe we should go do something" "maybe we should" "let's get ice cream and then go to the shopping mall to by supplys sly." "ok" they got in the van. they went to the mall. they got ice cream. it was good. "sly this ice cream is scrimply tastey i do say so myself as i am bently." bently said. "bently shut the fuck up and enjoy the ice cream because it is fucking good." sly said. "what kind of flayvor did you get?" betnyl siad. "100% chocklate." sly said. he wasn't kidding like it was no joke. even the Spüüne was made out of chocolate! "nice." bently said. he liked the spoon or spune or Spüüne "what did you get." sly said. "dubble bannana 100 budge fudge." betnly said with a big smile on his fucking face. "i like ice cream" sly said licking his chops. "yum yum yum" "Indeed it is very yummy" bentradely said. "yum!" sly said. he ate the ice cream. "did you know that ice cream is really really good?" bently said. "yeah." sly said. "it is." bently said. "i know, you didn't need to fucking tlel me that ice cream's good becuz is fucking is ok?" saly said. "i know, but i just like it alot." bently said. "i know me too." sly said. "i know how you feel about ice cream because i feel the same way," bently said "we feel good about our ice cream." sly said. "yes indeeder we do." bently said. "we feel really fucking good aobut it." sly said. "yes because ice cream is really good." bently said. " i bet murry wishes he could stuff his fat fucking face with this ice cream?" bent;ly said. "whos murry?" sly said. "you know the fat gay retarded hippo that follows us around." bently said. "oh you mean lil' bitch. fuck him, he's not  good enough for ice cream because ice cream is good." sly said. "indeeder that it is sly." "yeah" sly said. "ice cream is yummly." bently said. "but murry is a fagtard and a redneck motherfucking piece of shit." sly said. "i agree with you on that one." bently said. "but you also agree with me about ice cream." "yeah i do sly." bently said. "i bet ice cream gives murry gas." sly said. "yeah" bently said. they laughed at sly's funny joke. "oh my head hurts. i ate my ice cream 100 times too fast and now i have BREAIN FREEEZE!" sly siad. "AH ME TOO IT UFCKING HURTS. IT HURTS! AHHH" bently said. they screamed until the pain went away and it hurt a lot. have you ever gotten brain freeze before? i get it a lot when i eat ice cream and i do the same thing sly and bently do, i scream for my cream, my ice cream! they finished their ice cream. they were happy because it was good ice cream and not bad ice cream. "fuck we gotta buy supply but we spended too much money on ice cream!" bently said. "you know what that means!" sly said. "WE GOTTA STEAL!" sly and bently said at the same time. "STEAL SOME SHIT" sly said. "SHIT WE GONNA STEAL." bently said. everyone looked at them funny. "whant supllies do we neeeeed?!" sly said. "we need some grappelling hooks and some wire. 100 times what we use unusally." bently said. "how much would that cost if we didn't eat the iced creamiscles?" sly said. "about 100 dollars." bently said. "nice!" sly said. "but that ice cream was really good." bently said. "worth the money i know, we must've spent 100 dollars on ice cream." sly said. "right?" bently said. "shit was so cash." sly said. "cash with some ass." bently said very slowly. "ass." sly said. "cash." bently said. "ass cash ash ass cash" sly said. "cash ass ash cash ass." bently said. "ASS CASH!" they saided at the saime time. "100" sly said. "ok time to steal." bently said. they went to the thieving goods store at the mall. seriously those exist, google it dude. "ok bently i got a pro thieving idea that's ultra fucking devious and theivoes. 100 % fucking devious." sly said. "ok you got this shit sly" bently said. "i got this because ima spicey meat-a-ball!" sly said in a cool voice. he went into the store which was called THIEVES R US© they had a lot of theifing stuff in there. sly went up to the place where the grapplinger hooks and wire were and just put a shit ton in his bag. then something bad happned. "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a mall cop said. "oh shitting fuck nuggets" sly said. they ran away, they came back to the mall once the mall copz were gone. they went to get 100 times more ice cream adnd then they went to the shopping mall to buy supplyes for sly. "Hey SLY?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "Do you want to want to make some fucking ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "LET'S MAKE THAT FUCKING ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos!!!!" bently said. "Yeseser." sly said. they went into home and into their place to the kictchen. they put ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos into a ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos container. they made it and squeezed it from a icing tube it into a bowel. they ate it with licking it. it was tasting goodlicious. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sly said. "THIS ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos IS FUCKING GOOD!!! WE FUCING ATE IT IT!!!!" bently said. they had like 100 cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos. then they got bored. "fuck now what" sly siad. "fucking bored now" "fuck so am i" "fuuuuuuuuuuckles." "shit bricks, let's go rob some shiz with these surplies, or try to mess with cazremeltiua " sly said making funny face. "fuck okay just don't whip your dick out and try to have sex with her or perhaps she'll pull the legal lever to making hunting coopers legalized." "aiight. fuck." sly siad mad because that was his plorn. "Will you quit saying fuck?" "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said."...fuck..." "sly stepped on his foot...hard. "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said. "STOP SAYING FUCK!!!" SLy said. "it's totes my thing tos ay fuck plus you said it like 100 times" "FUCK YOU!!!" bently said in a plerb accent. sly promptly carefully reached into bently's shell carefully and grabbed his tiny turtle balls. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Look Buffalo Bitchcake, if you say the word "fuck" one more time i will crush these puny blueberries you call racoon testicles and you can't have sexual intercouse with penlpe or even masturbate good. you said it 100 times okay" "I'm sorry..." bently said as tears coursed down his face and hit his balls 100 times. The tears started to burn, causing steam to rise. "Oh God!" bently screamed as sly began to twist his steaming nuts. "Now lets' find carmelia." sly began to leave. "Um Sly." "What?" "Could you let go of my balls, please?" "oops, sorry buddy." sly let go. Sly and Bently climbed into the shiny smooth Cooper van. "Sly. My balls are killing me." bently said as he massaged his area. "Sorry. You shoulda stopped saying the f word. you said it like a hundred times." sly said. "fuck." "I guess. It's just..." bently stopped talking. "It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just.. my balls hurt really really really bad." bently said 100 times. "Just stop swearing." sly said, combing his stupid fucking haircut so carmfarmbelarmblita would think he was legit. it like an affrooo. "OK." benly said. "i'm gonna fucking murder you and everyone else if you ever fucking do that again you motherfucker. I'll build a goddamn nuke to kill ever living beeng. so go fuck yourself and never touch my sack again fucker, I will fucking end you and everything you hold dear." "ok" sly said."You wanna grab something to eat." "k." 'tly said."where the FUCK do you want to eat?" "How about Mickey dees, Ba-ba-bah-ba-ba. I'm lovin' it." bento struck sylverster (that's his full fucking name alright? don't fukin pretend it's not scrub, it fucking is, it's fucking slyvester okay.) with a frying pan. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!!" BENT-LY SCREAMED. "get bent" sly said. "hehehe" "hahahaha" "hahahaha" "good one" "I kno. let's go to Quizno's insted." sly said. "Sounds good to me." They pulled into the Quizno's/" "Yeah, I'd like one hundred Quiznos, a hundred cups of coffe, exrta syrup and sugar. 100 peeses of sugar and syrup." Sly said to the waiter. "I WANT NOTHING!! Bently screamed. The waiter flipped off benlty and ran away. "That waiter looks familar ;and fucking shit. FUCK." "Go to hell, you coconut sodomizing BITCH." Sly yelled at the waiter. "WAIT!...IT IS MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" "Guys?" Murry said. He ran over, flipped the table over and tackled Bently. "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Murry said. He began jump on bently's gut 100 times. "NNNOOOOO!! Murry You suck! HA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HA!" Bentley said as he tried to laugh to ease the pain but it turned his tears to blood and jizz. Sly came to the rescue just in time with a fork and lodged it deep into murry's back, like fuck it was so deep you'd be really surprised and all grossed out and shit if you saw it, for fucking realsies. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!! murry screeched 100 times. "Cat got your tongue?" Sly said as pulled murrys tongue our and he dumped 100 hot sauces on murry's tongue. "ENOUGH!" Murry overpowered sly and pushed him into some old people. they died. they were patrick's parents and they were really happy to be dead because they hoped they could go to hell to be with their son patrick in hell. "First, I Will Be serving some apetizers!" Murry said as he punched Sly in the face,"Then the first course" Another punch."Then the second." Yet another punch."Then the third!!!!" Sly was now currently a bloody racoon. He tried to crawl away. But murry grabbed his nuts. "Murry got your balls?" Murry said as he dragged sly's sac over to the grill stove. "For 100 time's sake, Murry." sly begged. "PLEASE DON'T!!!! "Maybe you should've thought about wearing pants." murry said. but then something wierd happnd. penelope showed up. "holy shit." sly said. "what" penpy said. "you never fucking show up you shitty fucking nerd." bently said. "if penpy saiz one fucking word." murry said. "one more and I'll rip sly's balls off." "fuck." sly said. "don't fucking say shit penpie. OKAY? I kno you're a chick so chick's like to fuckin talk all the god dam time but SHIT this once, my balls are on the fucking line, or should I say in a fat gay hippo's strongly grap!" "CRAP!" bently said. he knew pembly couldn't fucking do it. she was a woman after all. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKERS" carmelita said. she wuz disguyzed as a chair. "ho shit hehehehe" sly said, obvosly checking her ass out 100 times. "hehehehe" "FUCK YOU CARMELITA. I FUCKING NEW U WER THERE OKAY?" murry said, throwing 100 tiles from the grownd at her. "i'm sick of your ficking bullshnit cunting shit fuck fuck fucking fuckery where you fucking come in fucking shit up and shit, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck YOU." murry started punching carmelita 100 times and sly was too scared to do nothin. she was nearly dead when she fell over. "oh fuck carmelita may be dead." penplo said. sly started crying more because murry was sure to rip off his balls now. "oh shit hehehe" murry said. "now I get to rippy rippy." "or do you?" someone misterious said from the fromt of kwissnose. it was....DEMETRI!!?!?!?!?!? "Demeatree???!" sly said. "dametri? fuck demetri, you're gay you fuck fucking 100 times fucking cunt!" murry said. he went outside. he picked up a car he threw it at demetri. demetri was dead! "No!" sly said. "i'll save you bently" pepy said. "pepsi no!" bently said. murry thought she was a drink so he drunk her. "no she dead no." bently said 100 times. "lol." sly said out loud laughing. then murry grabbesd sly's fucking balls harder. carmeliat got really sad. "i don't want sly balls die." she jumped at fuckin murry but sumthin fuckin weird fucking happnd. "I don't feel good." carmelita said then melted. a death ray laser from outside had crashed into her and she died! "NO FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING NO NO NONOONONONO" sly said. "she's dead sly, ok she's dead. deal with it." bently said, taking his glasses off and breaking them to sho how for real he is. "no fucker you fucker..." sly said, cursing murry to death 100 times in his souls. "ha ha fucking ha." murry said, as his mech suit (which look like a gundam mixed with a school bus so it was super fucking legit). he got in his mech suit that ripped the roof off (remember to fix the other part A/N) and flew away. "meet me at london at big ben the big clock tower if you want to end this." murry left, and his ship was flying away with gayness. "fuck sly, good thing I built you a giant mech suit just in case this happened." he pushed a baton and then a giant mech suit shaped like sly but like a transformer, like the new movie transformers, not the old transformers, the new movie ones okay? but anyways sly got in and bently strapped himself to it, they flew away, burning up quiznos and penelpys and carmolitas bodays. "we cremate them" bently said as he cry. "yeah bently we did, we did good. now we kill the fucker once and for all." "sly I got something to say." "ok" "if we don't make it i have a solution. we gotta fucking do it. just say cheese when we're done." "ok sure bently whatever." sly was actually pretty bored now. they flew to big ben and murry was flying. "HEY FUCKO" murry said loudly and oncely. "what is it why did you keel them." sly said. "fuck you." "man I could be palying video games " sly said, firing a hundred rockets at muhwey. "uhhh" murry said taking a dump in his robot. "haha now I will win." sly said he was reading macks ihm may gah zeen. but murry was ready. he fired a murry laser from the canon and shoted sly. "AHHH NO" bently said as he died when the leg part he was strapped to fell off and blew up forever. "ahh damn." sly said. he wanted to cry another tear, but no more tears would come anymore forever. "100 times damn you sly cooper." murry said, firing more rockerts. sly started to fell to the ground. "man this is my fucked up life." sly think. "I fucked up everything, and everyone I love is dead, how will I go now that I crash into this burning robot suit to the ground by big ben, I hope I don't fall on any bad tooth british faggots. fuck the british." "hey" bently's ghost said. "say cheese" "bently! why you here you like the force or something?" "no this just a hologramp." bentrometer said. he wasn't really a ghost i lied okay. "what do I dooo everything so shitty and I'm dyin." "fuck sly this is what you gotta do. say fucking cheese. then it will activate the back up platn. then you can defeat murry. then after he's dead push the bright fucking button with a dick on it." "ok" sly said. "cheese" "and sly" "yeah?" "fucking rape him for me, okay?" bently said as he flew away into the internet. sly pushed a new button and THEN SHIT WENT DOWN. new legs came out of the robot like ketulu, and then robot tentacles turned into regular robot arms. a fuckton of missles hit murry's robot and he crashed to the ground. sly flew the robot down behond murrey's which was all on fours. "hey fucker, this is for killing patrick." sly said as he activated rape mode and his robot raped murry's robat. "ahh OOH nOOO" murry said as his robot exploded and he fell out. a bunch of gay british people found him and raped him too and he died. "now what. oh yeah that button" sly said. he pushed the dick button and time exploded. "FUCK TIME IS GOING AWAYYYY" he woke up on da balcony. carmelita walked out. to be continued in thieves in time. 
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ironicmemeing · 7 years
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hmm i mean, im not really sure WHAT i am
i mean i know im ace bc like, ew + i do not trust anyone or ever will to do anything in that situation  but like my romantic situation is so confusing??? like first off i do not Trust Men or like 90% of the guys i meet even when therye my age theyre just, shitty  and i think i like girls? or am i forcing myself to try to bc i do not like men and dont wanna be aro? bc i feel like im missing out or smthn???
bc like, relationshps in theory sounds rly nice and itd be much more comfortable w a girl bc i guess im used to that but i do not think i could mentally or physically handle a romantic relationship
and even if i could and even if my stomach didnt cripple me everyy night and my head didnt suck so much i just, dont think i could keep it for very long bc its just like, i dont like kissing, hugging is cool and cuddling but i get so uncomfortable if i am not the one like, giving the affection bc i think i have some problems w feeling restrained even if its friendly or barely a restraint and all around the whole affection department takes like, getting past my 7 layers of trust issues and brain bullshit that takes so long
and its so hard for me to find anyone i actually you know, like! even as a friend im so damn picky!!! 
and I’m so emotionally inept that i can barely even talk to my family abt my feelings let alone a romantic partner
and its like such a fucking mess and i feel terrible bc what if im pretending to be these diffferent things bc im not allowed to settle on something? because my mind i s a goddamn rollercoaster of bullshit that makes no sense i just know it makes me wanna fuckin scratch my brains out
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