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the-music-maniac · 4 months

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Not that I read mpreg all that often (not really my thing generally speaking) but I came across some "Sanji is pregnant" fics in the sanzo/zosan tag, and not nearly the same amount for Zoro. It got me thinking about the trope. I think the lack of Zoro fics here is a tragic oversight. I think we as a fandom are absolutely and tragically ignoring the potential comedy gold of Zoro being the one to be pregnant instead.

Because when people write Sanji, the general trend I'm seeing (upon scanning through some of the fics quickly) is that he's cautious about it. Conscientious, careful to make sure things are okay. Which - arguably I could see, Sanji is probably the more practical of the two (not by a whole lot but still)and he didn't have a good childhood. Sanji being pregnant is usually a fic about his heaps of parental issues, childhood trauma and angst - which is fun to read. It's good. It's amazing, even.

Zoro being pregnant is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT gonna be a COMEDY. We're talking about a man who once tried to fight Kuina holding like 20 bokkens. We're talking about a man who got stuck in wax and thought the reasonable solution was to cut off his legs.

The entire crew spends the next 9 months tearing their hair out, preventing Zoro from doing stupid shit (exhibit A: cutting off his own limbs). They spend the same amount of time trying to stop Luffy from gum-gum-grabbing Zoro and yeeting him anytime he needs to get them out of a sticky situation.

The crew (mostly Sanji) is on 24/7 prevent-zoro-from-drinking-alcohol duty (impossible). Chopper is constantly stressed in the later months cause no one puts it past Zoro to get lost somewhere, give birth out in the woods and come strolling back with a baby tucked under his arm. They have to start hiding Zoro's dumbbells.

Franky and Usopp design and build a nursery and spends the entire time suspiciously teary eyed. Sanji tries to pretend he's unaffected but spends an entire night creating a 9 month meal plan of all the nutrients Zoro and the baby are gonna need. Not even a day later, one of the crew finds him up at 2 am making a mountain of food because Zoro made the mistake of offhandedly mentioning he had particular pregnancy craving within earshot of Sanji. In the end Zoro has to sit on him to stop Sanji from running himself ragged.

Robin keeps spouting morbid childbirth facts and quotes from parental advice books in equal measure. Nami keeps going on shopping sprees for cute baby clothes and adding the cost of them to Zoro's debt. Brook keeps writing lullabies and trying to sing them to Zoro's stomach. Zoro 100% uses his pregnancy belly as an excuse to walk around without a shirt 24/7 without getting nagged.

Somehow word gets out that the famous pirate hunter Zoro is pregnant, and at the next big fight with the Marines, half the soldiers refuse to fight him and instead start telling him to sit down, take it easy, shouting advice at him etc. Etc. Zoro loses his shit a little bit and cuts their boat in half.

Mihawk, upon finding out, tells Zoro in no uncertain terms that that is his grandchild and he's expecting them to visit so he can meet the baby when they're born. Zoro vehemently denies that Mihawk is his father (he is). Zeff upon finding out, is almost as bad as Sanji when it comes to being a mother hen. Perona buys even more baby clothes for the baby. She buys one singular shirt for Zoro as a joke, and it coincidentally happens to be the exact same brand of "mama" crop top he was forced to wear in that one filler episode. Zoro tries to chuck it into the ocean (he fails).

I'm essentially saying it would be absolute chaos, and it would be the funniest thing I've ever read. 9 months of Marimo wrangling. Can you imagine the look on Zoro's face if one of the opponents he was fighting were to tell him that he's "glowing"?

PLEASE, I would actually wheeze myself to death. The best part is you can still have plenty of Sanji angst. He still has parental issues except now they're flavoured with "I'm not ready to be a father" and "I'm terrified I'm gonna become my biological sperm donor" and "please don't die because of childbirth complications, that happened to my mother(sort of, I know she died after but it kinda counts), and I can't handle that happening again to you". Lots of cute/tender moments of Zoro comforting and reassuring Sanji. We can even have Zoro angst. He probably views protecting his crew as the one and only job he's good for (not true but that's probably what he thinks). Not being able to fulfill that is probably not helping his self esteem, and that sense of uselessness warring with his need to protect the baby - but the contradictory thing here is that to protect the baby he HAS to sit back and let other people do that FOR him. That plus all the other restrictions, people treating him differently, but him at the same time refusing to view his own child as a weakness. Imagine the havoc that would wreak. Oh my god.

Y'all don't understand, I don't even read mpreg that often and yet this is literally my ideal fic HAHAAAAA

#we already know Zoro would be a good parent considering how he is with kids but pregnancy? different matter entirely #i don't know much about jimbei yet so sadly i can't write much about him feel free to comment any headcanons y'all come up with though #zosan #sanzo #zoro x sanji #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #cat burglar nami #monkey d luffy #nico robin #op franky #op brook #god ussop #tony tony chopper #mpreg

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marioshabit-blog · 5 years

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Week 8

And we’re back. Did you miss me? Anyone still reading? Anyone? Please.

Just kidding.

There really is no better feeling than knowing thousands, and more often than not, millions, are tuning in each week to read your new blog post for a college class on Tumblr.

I wake up every morning with a grin on my face, headphones in my ears, and a soft white light echoing from my laptop, appreciating the fans that make this blog great. Because, end of the day, it’s for you guys.

I’m tearing up a little bit now, just thinking about the end of this blog. And I know I promised for years I wouldn’t quit. That Netflix wa- is my life. But, alas, all good things must come to an end.

Though there are just a few weeks left for this blog, I want to thank each and every one of you for keeping up with me. Without you guys, I’m nothing but a boy and a laptop.

Black Mirror

Number of Episodes: 6

Total Time Watched: 6 hours, 4 minutes

Binge Rate: 7.1 / 10

Wow. What an overall experience that has changed my life for the worse as each second ticked. This is a scary ass show that is not good for my soul.

As somewhat of a modern day / futuristic Twilight Zone, Black Mirror has around hour long episodes that leave you with a terrible feeling in your stomach and head for that brief period of time before you jump to the next episode.

I hopped around a bit when I watched, heeding former friends’ advice on some of the best. A couple stood out for me, including USS Callister, The National Anthem, and the infamous Black Museum. From a game designer who has trapped people inside an online world to torture them, to a national figure who is forced to have sexual intercourse with an animal, this show is fucked up. Why did I watch 6 episodes you ask? Because I am dedicated.

It’s tough to binge this show, to be honest, but I did give it a good score because there are some powerful lessons throughout. The show isn’t crazy for its own sake, but to give us a mirror and question our own lives.

Born Strong

Number of Episodes: 1

Total Time Watched: 1 hour, 25 minutes

Binge Rate: 8.0 / 10

Yes that is a picture of a man power cleaning his legs.

As a young man who thinks he’s ripped because he goes to the gym a few times a week can attest, Born Strong is another one of those working out movies.

It follows some competitors from the World’s Strongest Man competition series as they prepare for and compete in the Arnold Classic in Ohio. The feats accomplished by these guys are absolutely nutty, from lifting over a thousand pounds off the floor, to putting a 300 pound dumbbell over their heads with one arm. This stuff is nuts.

The funniest thing about their lives is not that lifting is the hardest part, but eating. Most of them way over 400 pounds, and putting the fork to their face is their hardest lift. The lifestyle is insane, and seeing them compete with each other is fun.

Definitely worth a watch if you’re into lifting weights.

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