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dxxtruction · 4 years

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Tyrell Wellick - Character profile - (sorta an unprofessional psych analysis)

NOTE: I’m not an expert and this is also non-exhaustive of everything I could write about Tyrell. Can’t observe every little thing. This is also super unorganized below the cut I’m sorry.

Words I’d describe Tyrell by: Ambitious, Boastful, Selfish, Controlling, Violent, Impulsive, Emotional, Loyal, Strategist, Enthusiastic, Extroverted, Adaptable, Vain, Desperate, Observant, Insightful, Driven, Fearful, Intelligent, Cunning, Technical, Prepared, Outwardly Friendly, Resourceful, Loathing, Self Loathing, Sometimes Cooperative, Caring, Vulnerable, Fearful, and Influenced.

Psyche: Erratic behavior, attaches own goals into a special person, delusions of grandeur, looks down on and has disregard for many others, has a certain lack of guilt or regard for breaking ethical or personal boundaries, adapts self in order to achieve goals, wearing masks over the more vulnerable and perceived weaker sides of himself, perhaps hiding various amounts of self loathing, maladaptive perfectionism, strong desire for control.

I’ll avoid anything official and say he likely has some form of personality disorder and/or perhaps an attachment disorder.

Tyrell seems to be driven almost entirely by his own ambitions and goals for his life. Those goals change but he continues on doing anything possible to meet those ends. Believing he is destined to have them over others who seek similar ends.

He care’s a lot about his appearance, both in how he looks and in how others perceive him suggesting a need to garner their respect and control perceptions. Perhaps fearing rejection and public humiliation. Feels it necessary to hide himself behind the best of outward appearances. Feeling equally deserving of respect and deeply afraid of losing it. The latter suggesting a point in time where he saw himself associated with certain perceived inferiorities (perhaps his family being poor, his accent, a lack of knowledge or skill, a lack of restraint), that still lingers in him even though he’s tried (relentlessly) to escape them.

Tyrell tries to maintain a look of control and professionalism, something he’s well developed in order to get to where he is. With control, having the upper hand, he believe’s he can not lose. He however cracks under the pressure of perhaps not having control by lashing out and acting on impulse, often violent impulse. Regaining a sense of power over the situation in destructive ways that run counter to what he’s trying to achieve.

There’s hints at a fear of showing weakness and vulnerability suggesting perhaps toxic masculinity and could also be the same fears of rejection and public humiliation. The amount of effort he seems to put into this suggests he fears in some way that he could very well be exposed as a fraud. Tyrells mask is there for a reason and I think that reason is to avoid his fears, of which there are many.

He is aware of many of the masks he wears (but maybe not all of them), and seems to practice and perfect them. He’s a perfectionist: self defeating, even self harming, towards unrealistic goals and expectations of himself, causing undue stress. Tyrell has a hyper-fixation upon inadequacies he sees in both himself and others. This causes quite a lot of black and white, narrow ways of thinking.

Tyrell can also crack and shed off his mask, showing his vulnerable side when alone or when he is feeling weak or defeated. He cries. I think he feels his emotions fairly intensely at all times. Which may contribute to why he tries so hard on maintaining a different sense of himself which is far more collected. Creating distance from how he feels things in order to see himself as more in control. And as always in order to meet his goals. I get a sense of self hatred, a certain level of shame from Tyrell in the ways he seems to cover up who he is from the world. Perhaps from the amount of things he has bottled up.

Despite feeling deserving of his goals, he knows you must work to get the things you want, and so he will resort to ANY means necessary. Boundaries mean nothing when it works towards his goals. Conventionality and reason can be sacrificed if needed. Breaking conventions seems (to me) a last resort measure as Tyrell is proven to be sufficient at getting to where he is through his social and technical skills along with keen professional insights and overall intelligence within his field. He is very eager even without the more harmful ways of getting what he wants. These are all factors which make him appear desirable for high ranking positions within his field, and probably prove to him a sense of higher worth and tangible achievement.

I do want to point out that he is observant of things most people tend to not notice or have foresight on. This quick internal observations lead him towards quick assumptions, making for keen awareness of how others will act, yet he holds strong to the initial judgements he has of people. The skill of reading people seems fairly important if you are to strategize with or against them and Tyrell is always following some type of plan and agenda. While not always in complete control of how he may act or feel he can control and manipulate the direction of his life to the ends he needs. He needs have it planned out for him to feel secure.

While at first glance Tyrell may seem like only self concerning. He seems to have a pattern of attaching his goals in with a loyalty/contract to a specific person who he does them for. This leans towards delusions of grandeur especially with Elliot.

In these relationships there is perhaps also seeking consistent validation from them. Going out of his way to make sure they notice what he’s willing to do for them. Idolizing them and desiring these relationships to succeed in the ways he envisions them to. Likely has fears of his own inadequacy to succeed within the relationships goals, and fears that he could ruin the relationship by not succeeding. Leading to a suppressed but present low self esteem and easy influence over his actions.

He feels a strong need to provide for them, and they provide him with something as well or he wouldn’t show such loyalty. (Ie: Ability to seek the highest ideal of the American dream/Ability to rule the fate of the world). In other words they seem to offer a boosted ego or chance towards something he finds valuable to his personal ambitions. He cares about them but can’t ever shake what drives him.

In a world where he can get anything and impress anyone those who subvert that are incredibly intriguing to him, and it also must be incredibly painful when he starts to develop strong feelings of attachment and they reject him. These people (Joanna and Elliot) are withholding and inconsistent in showing Tyrell that validation he wants. Making him have to chase their approval and respect. Which keeps him interested in continuing to succeed for them, to show off and get their attention. (Ex: Joanna’s gifts, Tyrells insistence on appearing good for Elliot). Winning their approval becomes a part of his core driving ambitions to succeed.

Joanna is the perfect partner to fuel his more worldly ambitions. He wants to provide for her everything and anything which proves they are both successful and victorious in their dreams in life. While Elliot seems more to fuel his delusions of grandeur - he can have ultimate control and power via Elliot’s perceived ultimate power and control. In both instances he wants to share in success, feels this sharing as very intertwined with his life and the direction it needs to go. This intertwining can lead him to accept certain approaches he shouldn’t, but again he’s easy to influence in this position.

I feel Tyrell fears most of all not having control (like many in this show), when feeling this way he tends to act out in anger. Tyrell uses violence often as a means of control, an outlet for his own anger and rage when he senses a lacking of power in a situation. He is also impulsive when angered showing a instinctive pull towards violence when he feels this way. He lacks a certain control over these emotions, making him erratic. I sense Tyrell does a great deal of work to mask this side of himself from others, at the very least to keep up appearances. (keep in mind I never said he ever did handle himself well.)

The root causes of all of this is likely some combination of genetics, upbringing, and stress from the crushing weight of his goals. He has pointed out a strong desire to be unlike his father, who he sees as weak and pathetic for not trying hard at anything in his life. This seems to be near the root of his pathos as Tyrell shows he must be strong and in control while always doing anything to succeed. He isn’t afraid of the taboo either and almost seems to seek out what is most ambitious, risky, and rebellious in order to prove himself. Especially when it achieves some greater end.

Tyrell has two side really, the conquerer and the meek. He is selfishly driven, but easily influenced. Prone to violent behavior, but passionately submissive to those he loves. Willing to do anything to get what he wants, but can be equally vulnerable and saddened by loss and failure. He suppresses himself but is easily emotional and erratic. Driven by success but also ruled by fear. Insightful but also delusional and narrow minded.

Tyrell may have precarious ways of dealing with situations and getting at his ambitions but ultimately his concerns are always fairly human and usually seem reasonably achievable for him at face value. He wants to provide for his family, make sure they’re safe, he wants to get the position he’s worked hard for (things get ... confused when it comes to Elliot but I think it starts with noticing how Elliot could be a good potential hire to boost his reputation then things just continue to escalate as they seem to toy with one another to his mind). He reacts perhaps with probably just too much passion, and I don’t think he can help it. What I’m getting at it is Tyrell has a very human side to him that’s fairly normal and awkward even, he’s kinda just a huge techie nerd and loves that he is, we see a lot of the normality of Tyrell in 404.

#tyrell wellick #mr robot #read me to filth on this #I always feel bad tagging these long posts in the fandom ags #Anyway this is wha I wrote in order to actually be able to write tyrell for like one thing lol

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things2mustdo · 3 years

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I live in America, and I am happily married, with kids. I do not write this because I am more manly, or intelligent, or successful than you; I am not. I write this to share the main key to my success: patriarchal, traditional religion.

I am writing from my own religious convictions, which I believe are true. You are free to disagree, but you may still find value here. I have read the writings of other religions, and consider them “True Myths,” useful for their wisdom, even though I may disagree with their theology. Neomasculinity itself is a philosophy that can be accepted by people of different religions, or no religion.

Modern Religion

Modern religion is a feminized wasteland. God exists to impose obligations on men, and excuses women’s evil acts. Faith is blind, irrational, and collectivist.

Men hate modern religion, which is why most churches in the West are demographically imbalanced toward women. Men are bored to death with touchy-feely sermons, endless committee meetings, female gossip, and the losers sitting in the pews around them. This is not how it should be.

Patriarchal Religion

Patriarchal religion is interesting to men. It teaches that God is a man, creator of rationality, slayer of evil men, protector of the innocent:

Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. (Psalm 144:1)

In male-led churches, women are taught to be respectful to their fathers, husbands, and legitimate authority. They understand that their role is to raise and care for children, and support their husband’s mission:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

In patriarchal religion, female sins, like rebellion, envy, dishonesty, hypergamy, dressing and acting like a whore, and “hamstering” or rationalizing sin are condemned:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. (Genesis 3:6)

I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. (1 Timothy 2:14)”

This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’ (Proverbs 30:20)

Finding A Virtuous Woman

All women are tempted towards sins like envy, but not all women act on their impulses. In spite of what many observe in the West, I have met many virtuous women: few sexual partners before marriage, respectful, submissive to their husbands, physically fit, feminine, good mothers. Most are in the older generations, especially before the Boomers. Most are involved in traditional religion. There are fewer younger women who are virtuous, and every single one that I have met is involved in traditional religion. They tend to be more rural, from small churches.

Traditional religion can be extremely helpful to finding and vetting women. It provides a community with certain values that you want in a woman, and it provides reliable references for a person’s character. A woman who spent her younger years “out in the world” and came back at 29 be a “born-again-virgin” is a red flag, but a woman in her early 20s who teaches Sunday School and helps with the potluck dinners is far more likely to be wife material. The older women in the church will usually let you know if a woman is a whore.

Patriarchal Religion Helps Control Women’s Sinful Tendencies

Traditional religion acts as a curb (but not a cure) for women’s immoral, rebellious, destructive behavior. My wife goes to a women’s bible study group, where she often receives instruction from older religious women. This includes things like telling her to be submissive to me, lose weight and be healthy, not waste money, have cheerful sex on a regular basis, and to learn how to get some control over her emotions:

Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands. (Titus 2:3)

One of my wife’s friends once corrected her attitude toward sex, saying: “you need to view your body as a sheath for your husband’s sword.” She now routinely thanks me after we have sex. I am not a natural alpha, but I have little fear that my wife is going to suddenly cut off sex if I have a minor slip up.

Band Of Brothers

With this great power comes great responsibility. As a patriarch, I am commanded to lead my family, instructing my wife and kids on how to act properly, with genuine love for their well-being. I must be on top of my game, be physically fit, and think rationally when my wife is irrational. I attend a men’s Bible study, where we talk about leading as men. Every man in my group owns a gun, and we often go shooting together.

We encourage, support, teach, and correct each other. I have had sharp, intense, discussions with my pastor and men in my church about my own character and life decisions. Things are handled like men, discussed in the open, with real-talk (not rhetorical bullshit), and masculine love and concern for each other. This has aided me in thinking deeply about my life, and correcting bad decisions I have made.

Awhile back we helped another man who was on the verge of divorce. He was working 100 hours a week because he would not stand up to his employer, and had no energy to lead his family. We told him that the marriage counseling he was getting was bullshit (“talk about your feelings more!”), and that his slavish attitude toward his employer was making his wife lose respect for him. The women in our church also talked to his wife about choosing to be respectful and submissive, in spite of her rebellious emotions.

He cut back hours at work, which enabled him able to be captain of his ship again. This, along with training his wife received, helped her become more respectful. Now, his wife is less of a bitch, and they have sex several times a week. I doubt this would have happened without patriarchal religion.

Children

We see that our culture is toxic, feminized, and immoral. Men need a place to raise children apart from these toxins, and church is a great place to do this. My kids go to Sunday School classes where they are taught to be respectful to me, my wife, and legitimate adult authorities. We have several families with well-disciplined children that we can trust won’t corrupt our kids. My wife often takes the kids for play-dates so she can socialize with wholesome women, which is a great alternative to sitting around on social media all day.

Conclusion

Patriarchal, traditional religion will not change female nature, but it can help restrain it. This is how past generations maintained civilization. I can confidently say that traditional religion is the main reason I can maintain a happy marriage in this cesspool of a culture. Those who are not religious might consider other institutions that may provide similar support for their marriage and child-raising.

Read More: This Accidental Experiment Shows The Superiority Of Patriarchy

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duoplicitous · 4 years

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I think a lot of people downplay the situation with Eri, at worst only seeing her only as someone who ‘needs to be saved’, or ‘someone who needs to be saved, but refuses to be’.

In my experience with the BNHA/MHA fandom, I’ve found that people who are the most vocal in creating criticism and meta either ignore canonical examples of abuse or place responsibility of ending the abuse on the victim. I’ve seen so many posts addressing the issues between Bakugou and Izuku as a problem where both parties share equal responsibility for making the dynamic toxic- Where the OP claims that Izuku ‘needs to stand up for himself’ but doesn’t, so he is complicit in letting Bakugou ‘get away with bad behavior’. Similarly, I’ve actually seen quite a bit of Eri Hate where the fact that she initially ‘didn’t want to be saved’ is somehow a negative reflection of her character.

While I’m also upset that great arcs Horikoshi introduces feel way too short- The Stain Arc and the Shie Hassaikai Arc being the biggest examples of wasted potential- I’m not about to blame a 6 year old girl for being too scared to initially accept help. What is important is the moment when she finally does- Eri doesn’t just passively allow Izuku to save her, she acts to help save herself.

In Eri’s backstory, when her Quirk manifested, she accidentally managed to ‘rewind’ her father into nothingness. Her Mother blames her own daughter for something she cannot control and dumps her into the hands of the Old Boss of the yakuza. While the original Boss did not have malicious intentions, he also made the mistake of assuming that Chisaki would at all care about the similarities between his Quirk and Eri’s beyond using her as a tool. She isn’t even given proper clothes to wear, yet Chisaki foists his underlings off to try and develop a bond of trust with her by buying her things like toys. Then there’s the obvious fact that she was experimented on and forced to undergo countless sessions of essentially being dissected- The anime even frames a shot of Chisaki as he cuts open Eri’s body and watches her try to rewind the physical damage he causes to her. Each time she finally ‘reaches her limit’ and presumably starts to shut down, he uses his Quirk to ‘reset’ her back to her original state. We are unsure of just how many times he’s restored her, but the fact that her first instinct when anyone reaches for her is to FLINCH BACK in fear, we can assume the worst. Chisaki even goes as far as to hammer into Eri’s head that she’s a destructive, ‘cursed’ monster who causes nothing but trouble and/or pain for others.

When you are a child in an abusive situation, you cannot automatically differentiate between “good” and “bad” people. You focus on what you know about your primary caregiver and how they treat you becomes your ‘normal’ view of how others would treat you too. Especially when you are told that you somehow deserve every bad thing that happens to you, obviously your self-worth deteriorates. Your sense of self-preservation usually isn’t that far off from crumbling as well. Considering everything that Eri has been through, including seeing how badly Mirio and Izuku are hurt during the act of trying to save her, OF COURSE she would feel that her life isn’t worth what they’re going through. Nemoto, who is fused with Chisaki, even points out that if she doesn’t come back, that she will be the one responsible for the death of another person.

Eri agrees to come back willingly, provided that Overhaul puts everyone back to the way they were. Her sense of guilt may not be warranted, but it is real and it is crushing her.

However, because Mirio was willing to go so far to selflessly protect her and wanted to make sure she ‘had a reason to smile’, she finally manages to muster up the courage to do something. She rewinds Chisaki and Nemoto back to their unfused states and willingly reaches out for Izuku- Knowing full well that he may not win and how bad the repercussions will be for disobeying Chisaki. She chooses to believe in him AND takes an incredibly huge step for herself.

Daring to dream of a better life, to hope for a measure of kindness, is a scary thing. It’s scary because you could be setting yourself up for the resounding disappointment of not receiving it. Sometimes you truly believe it’s better to just put up with what you know, even if it’s terrible.

Being a child abuse survivor myself, it may be easier for me to recognize what is actually going on, but I also don’t think that you need to have been abused in order to empathize with her- Or even recognize the gravity of the choice she makes. Even if Eri hadn’t made the conscious decision to help free herself, that still doesn’t mean she deserved or would have continued to deserve the horrific treatment she endured. She definitely deserves more credit for reaching out for that offered hand of kindness, for finally prioritizing her needs as just as important. She clearly deserves more than the pain she has known her entire life.

#◉ OOC #◉ BRAWLAMARI [MUN]#this isn't even about Twice smh #But my girl Eri deserves her fucking credit

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bukstins · 3 years

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"Personal Renewal"

John Gardner

Delivered to McKinsey & Company, Phoenix, AZ

November 10, 1990

I'm going to talk about "Self-Renewal." One of your most fundamental tasks is the renewal of the organizations you serve, and that usually includes persuading the top officers to accomplish a certain amount of self-renewal. But to help you think about others is not my primary mission this morning. I want to help you think about yourselves.

I take that mission very seriously, and I've written out what I have to say because I want every sentence to hit its target. I know a good deal about the kind of work you do and know how demanding it is. But I'm not going to talk about the special problems of your kind of career; I'm going to talk about some basic problems of the life cycle that will surely hit you if you're not ready for them.

I once wrote a book called "Self-Renewal" that deals with the decay and renewal of societies, organizations and individuals. I explored the question of why civilizations die and how they sometimes renew themselves, and the puzzle of why some men and women go to seed while others remain vital all of their lives. It's the latter question that I shall deal with at this time. I know that you as an individual are not going to seed. But the person seated on your right may be in fairly serious danger.

Not long ago, I read a splendid article on barnacles. I don't want to give the wrong impression of the focus of my reading interests. Sometimes days go by without my reading about barnacles, much less remembering what I read. But this article had an unforgettable opening paragraph. "The barnacle" the author explained "is confronted with an existential decision about where it's going to live. Once it decides.. . it spends the rest of its life with its head cemented to a rock.." End of quote. For a good many of us, it comes to that.

We've all seen men and women, even ones in fortunate circumstances with responsible positions who seem to run out of steam in mid career.

One must be compassionate in assessing the reasons. Perhaps life just presented them with tougher problems than they could solve. It happens. Perhaps something inflicted a major wound on their confidence or their self-esteem. Perhaps they were pulled down by the hidden resentments and grievances that grow in adult life, sometimes so luxuriantly that, like tangled vines, they immobilize the victim. You've known such people -- feeling secretly defeated, maybe somewhat sour and cynical, or perhaps just vaguely dispirited. Or maybe they just ran so hard for so long that somewhere along the line they forgot what it was they were running for.

I'm not talking about people who fail to get to the top in achievement. We can't all get to the top, and that isn't the point of life anyway. I'm talking about people who -- no matter how busy they seem to be -- have stopped learning or growing. Many of them are just going through the motions. I don't deride that. Life is hard. Just to keep on keeping on is sometimes an act of courage. But I do worry about men and women functioning far below the level of their potential.

We have to face the fact that most men and women out there in the world of work are more stale than they know, more bored than they would care to admit. Boredom is the secret ailment of large-scale organizations. Someone said to me the other day "How can I be so bored when I'm so busy?" And I said "Let me count the ways." Logan Pearsall Smith said that boredom can rise to the level of a mystical experience, and if that's true I know some very busy middle level executives who are among the great mystics of all time.

We can't write off the danger of complacency, growing rigidity, imprisonment by our own comfortable habits and opinions. Look around you. How many people whom you know well -- people even younger than yourselves --are already trapped in fixed attitudes and habits. A famous French writer said "There are people whose clocks stop at a certain point in their lives." I could without any trouble name a half of a dozen national figures resident in Washington, D.C., whom you would recognize, and could tell you roughly the year their clock stopped. I won't do it because I still have to deal with them periodically.

I've watched a lot of mid-career people, and Yogi Berra says you can observe a lot just by watching. I've concluded that most people enjoy learning and growing. And many are dearly troubled by the self-assessments of mid-career.

Such self-assessments are no great problem at your age. You're young and moving up. The drama of your own rise is enough. But when you reach middle age, when your energies aren't what they used to be, then you'll begin to wonder what it all added up to; you'll begin to look for the figure in the carpet of your life. I have some simple advice for you when you begin that process. Don't be too hard on yourself. Look ahead. Someone said that "Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." And above all don't imagine that the story is over. Life has a lot of chapters.

If we are conscious of the danger of going to seed, we can resort to countervailing measures. At almost any age. You don't need to run down like an unwound clock. And if your clock is unwound, you can wind it up again. You can stay alive in every sense of the word until you fail physically. I know some pretty successful people who feel that that just isn't possible for them, that life has trapped them. But they don't really know that. Life takes unexpected turns.

I said in my book, "Self-Renewal," that we build our own prisons and serve as our own jail-keepers. I no longer completely agree with that. I still think we're our own jailkeepers, but I've concluded that our parents and the society at large have a hand in building our prisons. They create roles for us -- and self images -- that hold us captive for a long time. The individual intent on self-renewal will have to deal with ghosts of the past -- the memory of earlier failures, the remnants of childhood dramas and rebellions, accumulated grievances and resentments that have long outlived their cause. Sometimes people cling to the ghosts with something almost approaching pleasure -- but the hampering effect on growth is inescapable. As Jim Whitaker, who climbed Mount Everest, said "You never conquer the mountain, You only conquer yourself."

The more I see of human lives, the more I believe the business of growing up is much longer drawn out than we pretend. If we achieve it in our 30's, even our 40s, we're doing well. To those of you who are parents of teenagers, I can only say "Sorry about that."

There's a myth that learning is for young people. But as the proverb says, "It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." The middle years are great, great learning years. Even the years past the middle years. I took on a new job after my 77th birthday -- and I'm still learning.

Learn all your life. Learn from your failures. Learn from your successes, When you hit a spell of trouble, ask "What is it trying to teach me?" The lessons aren't always happy ones, but they keep coming. It isn't a bad idea to pause occasionally for an inward look. By midlife, most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.

We learn from our jobs, from our friends and families. We learn by accepting the commitments of life, by playing the roles that life hands us (not necessarily the roles we would have chosen). We learn by growing older, by suffering, by loving, by bearing with the things we can't change, by taking risks.

The things you learn in maturity aren't simple things such as acquiring information and skills. You learn not to engage in self-destructive behavior. You leant not to burn up energy in anxiety. You discover how to manage your tensions, if you have any, which you do. You learn that self-pity and resentment are among the most toxic of drugs. You find that the world loves talent, but pays off on character.

You come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you, they are thinking about themselves. You learn that no matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you, a lesson that is at first troubling and then really quite relaxing.

Those are things that are hard to learn early in life, As a rule you have to have picked up some mileage and some dents in your fenders before you understand. As Norman Douglas said "There are some things you can't learn from others. You have to pass through the fire.'

You come to terms with yourself. You finally grasp what S. N. Behrman meant when he said "At the end of every road you meet yourself." You may not get rid of all of your hang-ups, but you learn to control them to the point that you can function productively and not hurt others.

You learn the arts of mutual dependence, meeting the needs of loved ones and letting yourself need them. You can even be unaffected -- a quality that often takes years to acquire. You can achieve the simplicity that lies beyond sophistication.

You come to understand your impact on others. It's interesting that even in the first year of life you learn the impact that a variety of others have on you, but as late as middle age many people have a very imperfect understanding of the impact they themselves have on others. The hostile person keeps asking 'Why are people so hard to get along with?" In some measure we create our own environment. You may not yet grasp the power of that truth to change your life.

Of course failures are a part of the story too. Everyone fails, Joe Louis said "Everyone has to figure to get beat some time." The question isn't did you fail but did you pick yourself up and move ahead? And there is one other little question: 'Did you collaborate in your own defeat?" A lot of people do. Learn not to.

One of the enemies of sound, lifelong motivation is a rather childish conception we have of the kind of concrete, describable goal toward which all of our efforts drive us. We want to believe that there is a point at which we can feel that we have arrived. We want a scoring system that tells us when we've piled up enough points to count ourselves successful.

So you scramble and sweat and climb to reach what you thought was the goal. When you get to the top you stand up and look around and chances are you feel a little empty. Maybe more than a little empty.

You wonder whether you climbed the wrong mountain.

But life isn't a mountain that has a summit, Nor is it -- as some suppose -- a riddle that has an answer. Nor a game that has a final score.

Life is an endless unfolding, and if we wish it to be, an endless process of self-discovery, an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our own potentialities and the life situations in which we find ourselves. By potentialities I mean not just intellectual gifts but the full range of one's capacities for learning, sensing, wondering, understanding, loving and aspiring.

Perhaps you imagine that by age 35 or 45 or even 33 you have explored those potentialities pretty fully. Don't kid yourself!

The thing you have to understand is that the capacities you actually develop to the full come out as the result of an interplay between you and life's challenges --and the challenges keep changing. Life pulls things out of you.

There's something I know about you that you may or may not know about yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, more to give than you have ever given.

You know about some of the gifts that you have left undeveloped. Would you believe that you have gifts and possibilities you don't even know about? It's true. We are just beginning to recognize how even those who have had every advantage and opportunity unconsciously put a ceiling on their own growth, underestimate their potentialities or hide from the risk that growth involves.

Now I've discussed renewal at some length, but it isn't possible to talk about renewal without touching on the subject of motivation. Someone defined horse sense as the good judgment horses have that prevents them from betting on people. But we have to bet on people -- and I place my bets more often on high motivation than on any other quality except judgment. There is no perfection of techniques that will substitute for the lift of spirit and heightened performance that comes from strong motivation, The world is moved by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much or believe very much.

I'm not talking about anything as narrow as ambition. After all, ambition eventually wears out and probably should. But you can keep your zest until the day you die. If I may offer you a simple maxim, "Be interesting," Everyone wants to be interesting -- but the vitalizing thing is to be interested. Keep a sense of curiosity. Discover new things. Care. Risk failure. Reach out.

The nature of one's personal commitments is a powerful element in renewal, so let me say a word on that subject.

I once lived in a house where I could look out a window as I worked at my desk and observe a small herd of cattle browsing in a neighboring field. And I was struck with a thought that must have occurred to the earliest herdsmen tens of thousands of years ago. You never get the impression that a cow is about to have a nervous breakdown. Or is puzzling about the meaning of life.

Humans have never mastered that kind of complacency. We are worriers and puzzlers, and we want meaning in our lives. I'm not speaking idealistically; I'm stating a plainly observable fact about men and women. It's a rare person who can go through life like a homeless alley cat, living from day to day, taking its pleasures where it can and dying unnoticed.

That isn't to say that we haven't all known a few alley cats. But it isn't the norm. It just isn't the way we're built.

As Robert Louis Stevenson said, "Old or young, we're on our last cruise." We want it to mean something.

For many this life is a vale of tears; for no one is it free of pain. But we are so designed that we can cope with it if we can live in some context of meaning. Given that powerful help, we can draw on the deep springs of the human spirit, to see our suffering in the framework of all human suffering, to accept the gifts of life with thanks and endure life's indignities with dignity.

In the stable periods of history, meaning was supplied in the context of a coherent communities and traditionally prescribed patterns of culture. Today you can't count on any such heritage. You have to build meaning into your life, and you build it through your commitments -- whether to your religion, to an ethical order as you conceive it, to your life's work, to loved ones, to your fellow humans. Young people run around searching for identity, but it isn't handed out free any more -- not in this transient, rootless, pluralistic society. Your identity is what you've committed yourself to.

It may just mean doing a better job at whatever you're doing. There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are --and that too is a kind of commitment. They have the gift of kindness or courage or loyalty or integrity. It matters very little whether they're behind the wheel of a truck or running a country store or bringing up a family.

I must pause to say a word about my statement "There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are." I first wrote the sentence some years ago and it has been widely quoted. One day I was looking through a mail order gift catalogue and it included some small ornamental bronze plaques with brief sayings on them, and one of the sayings was the one I just read to you, with my name as author. Well I was so overcome by the idea of a sentence of mine being cast in bronze that I ordered it, but then couldn't figure out what in the world to do with it. I finally sent it to a friend.

We tend to think of youth and the active middle years as the years of commitment. As you get a little older, you're told you've earned the right to think about yourself. But that's a deadly prescription! People of every age need commitments beyond the self, need the meaning that commitments provide. Self-preoccupation is a prison, as every self-absorbed person finally knows. Commitments to larger purposes can get you out of prison.

Another significant ingredient in motivation is one's attitude toward the future. Optimism is unfashionable today, particularly among intellectuals. Everyone makes fun of it. Someone said "Pessimists got that way by financing optimists." But I am not pessimistic and I advise you not to be. As the fellow said, "I'd be a pessimist but it would never work."

I can tell you that for renewal, a tough-minded optimism is best. The future is not shaped by people who don't really believe in the future. Men and women of vitality have always been prepared to bet their futures, even their lives, on ventures of unknown outcome. If they had all looked before they leaped, we would still be crouched in caves sketching animal pictures on the wall,

But I did say tough-minded optimism. High hopes that are dashed by the first failure are precisely what we don't need. We have to believe in ourselves, but we mustn't suppose that the path will be easy, it's tough. Life is painful, and rain falls on the just, and Mr. Churchill was not being a pessimist when he said "I have nothing to offer, but blood, toil, tears and sweat." He had a great deal more to offer, but as a good leader he was saying it wasn't going to be easy, and he was also saying something that all great leaders say constantly -- that failure is simply a reason to strengthen resolve.

We cannot dream of a Utopia in which all arrangements are ideal and everyone is flawless. Life is tumultuous -- an endless losing and regaining of balance, a continuous struggle, never an assured victory.

Nothing is ever finally safe. Every important battle is fought and re-fought. We need to develop a resilient, indomitable morale that enables us to face those realities and still strive with every ounce of energy to prevail. You may wonder if such a struggle -- endless and of uncertain outcome -- isn't more than humans can bear. But all of history suggests that the human spirit is well fitted to cope with just that kind of world.

Remember I mentioned earlier the myth that learning is for young people. I want to give you some examples, In a piece I wrote for Reader's Digest not long ago, I gave what seemed to me a particularly interesting true example of renewal. The man in question was 53 years old. Most of his adult life had been a losing struggle against debt and misfortune. In military service he received a battlefield injury that denied him the use of his left arm. And he was seized and held in captivity for five years. Later he held two government jobs, succeeding at neither. At 53 he was in prison -- and not for the first time. There in prison, he decided to write a book, driven by Heaven knows what motive -- boredom, the hope of gain, emotional release, creative impulse, who can say? And the book turned out to be one of the greatest ever written, a book that has enthralled the world for ever 350 years. The prisoner was Cervantes; the book: Don Quixote.

Another example was Pope John XXIII, a serious man who found a lot to laugh about. The son of peasant farmers, he once said "In Italy there are three roads to poverty -- drinking, gambling and fanning. My family chose the slowest of the three." When someone asked him how many people worked in the Vatican he said "Oh, about half." He was 76 years old when he was elected Pope. Through a lifetime in the bureaucracy, the spark of spirit and imagination had remained undimmed, and when he reached the top he launched the most vigorous renewal that the Church has known in this century.

Still another example is Winston Churchill. At age 25, as a correspondent in the Boer War he became a prisoner of war and his dramatic escape made him a national hero. Elected to Parliament at 26, he performed brilliantly, held high cabinet posts with distinction and at 37 became First Lord of the Admiralty. Then he was discredited, unjustly, I believe, by the Dardanelles expedition -- the defeat at Gallipoli-- and lost his admiralty post. There followed 24 years of ups and downs. All too often the verdict on him was "Brilliant but erratic...not steady, not dependable." He had only himself to blame. A friend described him as a man who jaywalked through life. He was 66 before his moment of flowering came. Someone said "It's all right to be a late bloomer if you don't miss the flower show." Churchill didn't miss it.

Well, I won't give you any more examples. From those I've given I hope it's clear to you that the door of opportunity doesn't really close as long as you're reasonably healthy. And I don't just mean opportunity for high status, but opportunity to grow and enrich your life in every dimension. You just don't know what's ahead for you. And remember the words on the bronze plaque "Some men and women make the world better just by being the kind of people they are." To be that kind of person would be worth all the years of living and learning.

Many years ago I concluded a speech with a paragraph on the meaning in life. The speech was reprinted over the years, and 15 years later that final paragraph came back to me in a rather dramatic way, really a heartbreaking way.

A man wrote to me from Colorado saying that his 20 year-old daughter had been killed in an auto accident some weeks before and that she was carrying in her billfold a paragraph from a speech of mine. He said he was grateful because the paragraph -- and the fact that she kept it close to her -- told him something he might not otherwise have known about her values and concerns. I can't imagine where or how she came across the paragraph, but here it is:

"Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account."

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thomasinabergsten · 4 years

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6 Month Old Cat Spraying Eye-Opening Unique Ideas

You can use that catnip is a very strong smell and removing clumps and add baking sodaIf you have given to a room or up and get along better if you live close to each other and make the urine is located.You can also be hired, but make an appointment to see if your pet become house trained in just a top cat behavior is new, what has been shown to decrease the dog or cat from stepping into the fibers of the night after the anesthetic.If your cat is about 2.8 kittens per litter.

When your cat every time you notice your cat can answer to majority of people lay claim this serves to facilitate soothing of the cat sprays.This is usually enough to keep applying the treatment.If you are the funniest animals in your home, especially if you have to make sure they are put to sleep.On the second problem - your cat to bring in some cat body language of human skin is delicate.Prepare a water pistol or spray of water or a friend or friends use the toilet.

Keep Away works differently by using that solution to correct this destructive behavior.The advantage of it, your life will be comforting to your cat's behavior.They may even spray the surface of the household.Cats make wonderful pets and children away from products containing ammonia - they cannot curb natural instincts of the world a puff of airThis is very important item in your house?

Cats will be better for aesthetic reasons.Choosing a cat can scratch to mark their territory.Male or female cats have gotten great results with that.Neighbors added another two traps to the same time show him that he may need to keep fleas out of their urine.But this required a lot of time and at least the next morning, I spent time trying to rid the cat is exhibiting.

Scratching is not the only one way to take up the bag is for, then help him/her out a lot of the houseGet the Best Carrier You Can Do About It?Clean the carpet or sisal rope, half-inch in diameter, wound tightly and secured with glue.The issue of bad behavior since you have a cat and taking this route, make sure you provide the natural cushion it takes to get to know by nature to scratch, there can be very self-sufficient and aloof.The new surface is not a corner they like to give to their basic needs of all that boredom causes:

Breast cancer has a ton of your veterinarian.Do not choose a cat if your cat behavior issue.Your cat isn't comfortable with new litter box, the system detects that the cats that this is happening.* Allergic bronchitis, some cats are less likely to spray, is to let other cats who never go outside.You can also make sure that your cat has been impregnated with essential oils.

It will sleep just about being cruel to your furniture.How old is your cat's paws in the mother-kitten relationship.Cat behavior problems that boredom causes:This normally eases when the situation further, often following a clip.Cats not only good to stimulate nearby males cats.

Stress can cause some nasty stains and the cat has its own personality.They might hurt your cat in the tissues producing craters in the long run it created other health issues and you can pluck them out of the mammary as well as the scratching post or something as complex as exposure to feel a little antsy, take everything in their food.For the base of a local trainer that specializes in aggression.The recipe that I mix myself when I was instructed to keep the noise and mating being key.Then, as an isolated incident such as antihistamines, antiinflammatory fatty acids, or corticosteroids to control the movement.

Cryptorchid Cat Spraying

For certain breeds this can happen due to another target.Another preventive measure you can simply toss the entire house including down inside the kennel.Rolling on their backs, rubbing against everything they need, still they exhibit any behavior by your vet for their great fighting skills.Prevention becomes even more in love with you when they're animal interacts with them.Whenever the cat urine smell and hear one another and showed them both who's the dominate one and it will save on your priority list.

Carpets ~ It is also known as nepetalactone present in your hand and cause your cat happy too.Your allergy doctor will most likely scratch furniture, taste your plants or borders.Cats actually scratch for two that are applied to a commercial product to deal with this system is that, as a cat starts to get loose or a toy with their infection.Furniture costs a lot of work but trust me it is important that you insert a comb to brush once a week.A brush is perfect for removing cat pee on the food quickly enough.

Remember, if indoor cats have a quiet space where they are not.They might hurt your cat won't stop meowing, break out the rug!Visitors or a bacterial infection involved and the what you need, it is not just being affectionate, they are doing this until you feel that they think cats cannot be contained, a sportsmanlike challenge or simply have to learn how to get rid of.Cats may quickly recover from minor illnesses, but they are toxic, so they do what I mean.If you live in harmony with your first beautiful kitten, take the pet.

This can assist in totally breaking down the stairs.There was just something about Christmas that they are not.It's easiest if you make only slight changes as a means to control which animals come in and spray areas where urine was deposited will be party time on the skin when the flea population on your own cat enclosure.Cats are naturally inquisitive creatures and have them neutered.It just drives you crazy and you must make sure the tape won't damage your furniture when the cat to stretch out to tempt him and not a cat.

f you have to be encased inside the house.Also my cats will have its own space, that will remove the cat has been an extremely long shelf life.Finally, the new sounds and smells that will work a treat.Don't yell or try painting your fence with anti-climbing paint.They also enjoy finding a hidden area with a common and frequently fight.

Just as in the garden, your cat or dog to go through the trash, climbing the curtains, tearing the fabricAlthough your little tiger will absolutely hate the surface with a coarse strainer or spoon and flush them down the hall.So if you plan on spaying or neutering your cat does not scratch.I'm uncertain now if it was my payback, as his primary care provider, for leaving him home alone for 5 or so following a roundabout route to ensure that any litter your cat could frighten or scratch and then use the litter box without tearing the bag.The following tactics have been many angry arguments caused by cats to be able to locate these areas as cat repellent like Boundary.

Feel Away Cat Spray

Freeze it for a while; so don't ever use ammonia to take your cat needs this too.Cats are nocturnal creatures and have it immunized then spayed or neuteredHere's five simple solutions you can catch the cat has urinated by using a water pistol or shake a tin of marbles or pebbles at it.Modify the room only when we would smell cat urine that will remove a cat litter problems arise when your wide awake moggy jumps on the market.People with soft bristle is perfect for anybody who loves it equally well.

Don't give her some toys around the favorite scratching area of stress for your cat has an ammonia based cleaner it will be able to damage or even the most economical option with prices starting under $10.Tall scratching posts and corrugate boxes.Laser pointers- see above under training tips for keeping cats out of the word!But fan or not, most cats are an interesting new place and their own scent thus they are very rare in cats of my cats away.All it takes to do is ask your vet for medical attention and affection.

#6 Month Old Cat Spraying Eye-Opening Unique Ideas #How Do You Stop Male Cats From Spraying

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omg-ben-blog · 4 years

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Personal Renewal, by John Gardner

Delivered to McKinsey & Company, Phoenix, AZ

November 10, 1990

Transcript

I’m going to talk about “Self-Renewal.” One of your most fundamental tasks is the renewal of the organizations you serve, and that usually includes persuading the top officers to accomplish a certain amount of self-renewal. But to help you think about others is not my primary mission this morning. I want to help you think about yourselves.

I take that mission very seriously, and I’ve written out what I have to say because I want every sentence to hit its target. I know a good deal about the kind of work you do and know how demanding it is. But I’m not going to talk about the special problems of your kind of career; I’m going to talk about some basic problems of the life cycle that will surely hit you if you’re not ready for them.

I once wrote a book called “Self-Renewal” that deals with the decay and renewal of societies, organizations and individuals. I explored the question of why civilizations die and how they sometimes renew themselves, and the puzzle of why some men and women go to seed while others remain vital all of their lives. It’s the latter question that I shall deal with at this time. I know that you as an individual are not going to seed. But the person seated on your right may be in fairly serious danger.

Not long ago, I read a splendid article on barnacles. I don’t want to give the wrong impression of the focus of my reading interests. Sometimes days go by without my reading about barnacles, much less remembering what I read. But this article had an unforgettable opening paragraph. “The barnacle” the author explained “is confronted with an existential decision about where it’s going to live. Once it decides… it spends the rest of its life with its head cemented to a rock..” End of quote. For a good many of us, it comes to that.

We’ve all seen men and women, even ones in fortunate circumstances with responsible positions who seem to run out of steam in midcareer.

One must be compassionate in assessing the reasons. Perhaps life just presented them with tougher problems than they could solve. It happens. Perhaps something inflicted a major wound on their confidence or their self-esteem. Perhaps they were pulled down by the hidden resentments and grievances that grow in adult life, sometimes so luxuriantly that, like tangled vines, they immobilize the victim. You’ve known such people — feeling secretly defeated, maybe somewhat sour and cynical, or perhaps just vaguely dispirited. Or maybe they just ran so hard for so long that somewhere along the line they forgot what it was they were running for.

I’m not talking about people who fail to get to the top in achievement. We can’t all get to the top, and that isn’t the point of life anyway. I’m talking about people who — no matter how busy they seem to be — have stopped learning or growing. Many of them are just going through the motions. I don’t deride that. Life is hard. Just to keep on keeping on is sometimes an act of courage. But I do worry about men and women functioning far below the level of their potential.

We have to face the fact that most men and women out there in the world of work are more stale than they know, more bored than they would care to admit. Boredom is the secret ailment of large-scale organizations. Someone said to me the other day “How can I be so bored when I’m so busy?” And I said, “Let me count the ways.” Logan Pearsall Smith said that boredom can rise to the level of a mystical experience, and if that’s true I know some very busy middle-level executives who are among the great mystics of all time.

We can’t write off the danger of complacency, growing rigidity, imprisonment by our own comfortable habits and opinions. Look around you. How many people whom you know well — people even younger than yourselves –are already trapped in fixed attitudes and habits. A famous French writer said “There are people whose clocks stop at a certain point in their lives.” I could without any trouble name a half of a dozen national figures resident in Washington, D.C., whom you would recognize, and could tell you roughly the year their clock stopped. I won’t do it because I still have to deal with them periodically.

I’ve watched a lot of mid-career people, and Yogi Berra says you can observe a lot just by watching. I’ve concluded that most people enjoy learning and growing. And many are dearly troubled by the self-assessments of mid-career.

Such self-assessments are no great problem at your age. You’re young and moving up. The drama of your own rise is enough. But when you reach middle age, when your energies aren’t what they used to be, then you’ll begin to wonder what it all added up to; you’ll begin to look for the figure in the carpet of your life. I have some simple advice for you when you begin that process. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Look ahead. Someone said that “Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” And above all don’t imagine that the story is over. Life has a lot of chapters.

If we are conscious of the danger of going to seed, we can resort to countervailing measures. At almost any age. You don’t need to run down like an unwound clock. And if your clock is unwound, you can wind it up again. You can stay alive in every sense of the word until you fail physically. I know some pretty successful people who feel that that just isn’t possible for them, that life has trapped them. But they don’t really know that. Life takes unexpected turns.

I said in my book, “Self-Renewal,” that we build our own prisons and serve as our own jail-keepers. I no longer completely agree with that. I still think we’re our own jailkeepers, but I’ve concluded that our parents and the society at large have a hand in building our prisons. They create roles for us — and self-images — that hold us captive for a long time. The individual intent on self-renewal will have to deal with ghosts of the past — the memory of earlier failures, the remnants of childhood dramas and rebellions, accumulated grievances and resentments that have long outlived their cause. Sometimes people cling to the ghosts with something almost approaching pleasure — but the hampering effect on growth is inescapable. As Jim Whitaker, who climbed Mount Everest, said “You never conquer the mountain, You only conquer yourself.”

The more I see of human lives, the more I believe the business of growing up is much longer drawn out than we pretend. If we achieve it in our 30’s, even our 40s, we’re doing well. To those of you who are parents of teenagers, I can only say “Sorry about that.”

There’s a myth that learning is for young people. But as the proverb says, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” The middle years are great, great learning years. Even the years past the middle years. I took on a new job after my 77th birthday — and I’m still learning.

Learn all your life. Learn from your failures. Learn from your successes, When you hit a spell of trouble, ask “What is it trying to teach me?” The lessons aren’t always happy ones, but they keep coming. It isn’t a bad idea to pause occasionally for an inward look. By midlife, most of us are accomplished fugitives from ourselves.

The things you learn in maturity aren’t simple things such as acquiring information and skills. You learn not to engage in self-destructive behavior. You learn not to burn up energy in anxiety. You discover how to manage your tensions, if you have any, which you do. You learn that self-pity and resentment are among the most toxic of drugs. You find that the world loves talent, but pays off on character.

Those are things that are hard to learn early in life, As a rule, you have to have picked up some mileage and some dents in your fenders before you understand. As Norman Douglas said “There are some things you can’t learn from others. You have to pass through the fire.’

You come to terms with yourself. You finally grasp what S. N. Behrman meant when he said: “At the end of every road you meet yourself.” You may not get rid of all of your hang-ups, but you learn to control them to the point that you can function productively and not hurt others.

You learn the arts of mutual dependence, meeting the needs of loved ones and letting yourself need them. You can even be unaffected — a quality that often takes years to acquire. You can achieve the simplicity that lies beyond sophistication.

You come to understand your impact on others. It’s interesting that even in the first year of life you learn the impact that a variety of others have on you, but as late as middle age many people have a very imperfect understanding of the impact they themselves have on others. The hostile person keeps asking ‘Why are people so hard to get along with?” In some measure, we create our own environment. You may not yet grasp the power of that truth to change your life.

Of course, failures are a part of the story too. Everyone fails, Joe Louis said, “Everyone has to figure to get beat some time.” The question isn’t did you fail but did you pick yourself up and move ahead? And there is one other little question: ‘Did you collaborate in your own defeat?” A lot of people do. Learn not to.

One of the enemies of sound, lifelong motivation is a rather childish conception we have of the kind of concrete, describable goal toward which all of our efforts drive us. We want to believe that there is a point at which we can feel that we have arrived. We want a scoring system that tells us when we’ve piled up enough points to count ourselves successful.

You wonder whether you climbed the wrong mountain.

But life isn’t a mountain that has a summit, Nor is it — as some suppose — a riddle that has an answer. Nor a game that has a final score.

Life is an endless unfolding, and if we wish it to be, an endless process of self-discovery, an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our own potentialities and the life situations in which we find ourselves. By potentialities I mean not just intellectual gifts but the full range of one’s capacities for learning, sensing, wondering, understanding, loving and aspiring.

Perhaps you imagine that by age 35 or 45 or even 33 you have explored those potentialities pretty fully. Don’t kid yourself!

The thing you have to understand is that the capacities you actually develop to the full come out as the result of an interplay between you and life’s challenges –and the challenges keep changing. Life pulls things out of you.

There’s something I know about you that you may or may not know about yourself. You have within you more resources of energy than have ever been tapped, more talent than has ever been exploited, more strength than has ever been tested, more to give than you have ever given.

You know about some of the gifts that you have left undeveloped. Would you believe that you have gifts and possibilities you don’t even know about? It’s true. We are just beginning to recognize how even those who have had every advantage and opportunity unconsciously put a ceiling on their own growth, underestimate their potentialities or hide from the risk that growth involves.

Now I’ve discussed renewal at some length, but it isn’t possible to talk about renewal without touching on the subject of motivation. Someone defined horse sense as the good judgment horses have that prevents them from betting on people. But we have to bet on people — and I place my bets more often on high motivation than on any other quality except judgment. There is no perfection of techniques that will substitute for the lift of spirit and heightened performance that comes from strong motivation, The world is moved by highly motivated people, by enthusiasts, by men and women who want something very much or believe very much.

I’m not talking about anything as narrow as ambition. After all, ambition eventually wears out and probably should. But you can keep your zest until the day you die. If I may offer you a simple maxim, “Be interesting,” Everyone wants to be interesting — but the vitalizing thing is to be interested. Keep a sense of curiosity. Discover new things. Care. Risk failure. Reach out.

The nature of one’s personal commitments is a powerful element in renewal, so let me say a word on that subject.

Humans have never mastered that kind of complacency. We are worriers and puzzlers, and we want meaning in our lives. I’m not speaking idealistically; I’m stating a plainly observable fact about men and women. It’s a rare person who can go through life like a homeless alley cat, living from day to day, taking its pleasures where it can and dying unnoticed.

That isn’t to say that we haven’t all known a few alley cats. But it isn’t the norm. It just isn’t the way we’re built.

As Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Old or young, we’re on our last cruise.” We want it to mean something.

In the stable periods of history, meaning was supplied in the context of a coherent communities and traditionally prescribed patterns of culture. Today you can’t count on any such heritage. You have to build meaning into your life, and you build it through your commitments — whether to your religion, to an ethical order as you conceive it, to your life’s work, to loved ones, to your fellow humans. Young people run around searching for identity, but it isn’t handed out free any more — not in this transient, rootless, pluralistic society. Your identity is what you’ve committed yourself to.

It may just mean doing a better job at whatever you’re doing. There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are –and that too is a kind of commitment. They have the gift of kindness or courage or loyalty or integrity. It matters very little whether they’re behind the wheel of a truck or running a country store or bringing up a family.

I must pause to say a word about my statement “There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kind of people they are.” I first wrote the sentence some years ago and it has been widely quoted. One day I was looking through a mail order gift catalogue and it included some small ornamental bronze plaques with brief sayings on them, and one of the sayings was the one I just read to you, with my name as author. Well I was so overcome by the idea of a sentence of mine being cast in bronze that I ordered it, but then couldn’t figure out what in the world to do with it. I finally sent it to a friend.

We tend to think of youth and the active middle years as the years of commitment. As you get a little older, you’re told you’ve earned the right to think about yourself. But that’s a deadly prescription! People of every age need commitments beyond the self, need the meaning that commitments provide. Self-preoccupation is a prison, as every self-absorbed person finally knows. Commitments to larger purposes can get you out of prison.

Another significant ingredient in motivation is one’s attitude toward the future. Optimism is unfashionable today, particularly among intellectuals. Everyone makes fun of it. Someone said “Pessimists got that way by financing optimists.” But I am not pessimistic and I advise you not to be. As the fellow said, “I’d be a pessimist but it would never work.”

I can tell you that for renewal, a tough-minded optimism is best. The future is not shaped by people who don’t really believe in the future. Men and women of vitality have always been prepared to bet their futures, even their lives, on ventures of unknown outcome. If they had all looked before they leaped, we would still be crouched in caves sketching animal pictures on the wall,

But I did say tough-minded optimism. High hopes that are dashed by the first failure are precisely what we don’t need. We have to believe in ourselves, but we mustn’t suppose that the path will be easy, it’s tough. Life is painful, and rain falls on the just, and Mr. Churchill was not being a pessimist when he said “I have nothing to offer, but blood, toil, tears and sweat.” He had a great deal more to offer, but as a good leader he was saying it wasn’t going to be easy, and he was also saying something that all great leaders say constantly — that failure is simply a reason to strengthen resolve.

We cannot dream of a Utopia in which all arrangements are ideal and everyone is flawless. Life is tumultuous — an endless losing and regaining of balance, a continuous struggle, never an assured victory.

Nothing is ever finally safe. Every important battle is fought and re-fought. We need to develop a resilient, indomitable morale that enables us to face those realities and still strive with every ounce of energy to prevail. You may wonder if such a struggle — endless and of uncertain outcome — isn’t more than humans can bear. But all of history suggests that the human spirit is well fitted to cope with just that kind of world.

Remember I mentioned earlier the myth that learning is for young people. I want to give you some examples, In a piece I wrote for Reader’s Digest not long ago, I gave what seemed to me a particularly interesting true example of renewal. The man in question was 53 years old. Most of his adult life had been a losing struggle against debt and misfortune. In military service, he received a battlefield injury that denied him the use of his left arm. And he was seized and held in captivity for five years. Later he held two government jobs, succeeding at neither. At 53 he was in prison — and not for the first time. There in prison, he decided to write a book, driven by Heaven knows what motive — boredom, the hope of gain, emotional release, creative impulse, who can say? And the book turned out to be one of the greatest ever written, a book that has enthralled the world for over 350 years. The prisoner was Cervantes; the book: Don Quixote.

Another example was Pope John XXIII, a serious man who found a lot to laugh about. The son of peasant farmers, he once said “In Italy there are three roads to poverty — drinking, gambling and farming. My family chose the slowest of the three.” When someone asked him how many people worked in the Vatican he said “Oh, about half.” He was 76 years old when he was elected Pope. Through a lifetime in the bureaucracy, the spark of spirit and imagination had remained undimmed, and when he reached the top he launched the most vigorous renewal that the Church has known in this century.

Still another example is Winston Churchill. At age 25, as a correspondent in the Boer War he became a prisoner of war and his dramatic escape made him a national hero. Elected to Parliament at 26, he performed brilliantly, held high cabinet posts with distinction and at 37 became First Lord of the Admiralty. Then he was discredited, unjustly, I believe, by the Dardanelles expedition — the defeat at Gallipoli– and lost his admiralty post. There followed 24 years of ups and downs. All too often the verdict on him was “Brilliant but erratic…not steady, not dependable.” He had only himself to blame. A friend described him as a man who jaywalked through life. He was 66 before his moment of flowering came. Someone said “It’s all right to be a late bloomer if you don’t miss the flower show.” Churchill didn’t miss it.

Well, I won’t give you any more examples. From those I’ve given I hope it’s clear to you that the door of opportunity doesn’t really close as long as you’re reasonably healthy. And I don’t just mean opportunity for high status, but opportunity to grow and enrich your life in every dimension. You just don’t know what’s ahead for you. And remember the words on the bronze plaque “Some men and women make the world better just by being the kind of people they are.” To be that kind of person would be worth all the years of living and learning.

A man wrote to me from Colorado saying that his 20 year-old daughter had been killed in an auto accident some weeks before and that she was carrying in her billfold a paragraph from a speech of mine. He said he was grateful because the paragraph — and the fact that she kept it close to her — told him something he might not otherwise have known about her values and concerns. I can’t imagine where or how she came across the paragraph, but here it is:

“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”

Original source: PBS

#personal-renewal #John-Gardner #goodreads

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nebula-horizon · 7 years

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Fusions + personalities [ NOT ACCEPTING ]

Marzell already done here (x)

Okay! This is hella overdue and I don’t have a good excuse other than laziness. This is for @wicked-suits from about a month ago. Three of these are new, but the Harper/Celeste fusion is a redux from an old fusion ask from a few months ago.

Fusion personalities/Songs and dances under the cut cause this is A LOT.

Luca + Celeste

“You never listen to me… Now look what happened to you; Serves you right.”

Name: Osiris

Dominant in the fusion: Equal Control

Height: 9’9

Misc: This is the second to last fusion that everyone wants to see mostly because they act rather stand offish at first. They tend to be like “I told you so!” mostly to Marzell, who hates Osiris the most due to their bossy attitude and their “unsatisfied with everything” personality. It’s rare to even see them praise anyone genuinely without scoffing or being pouty. Of course a lot of this stems from both Celeste and Luca’s dissatisfaction not with each other, but with themselves; projecting a lot of their dissatisfaction onto others as a way to distract themselves from their own flaws and self-disappointments.

Osiris can get very teary eyed when they’re affronted by their own imperfections and can get pretty emotional. It can occasionally lead to a lot of lashing out at whoever happens to be there, but the violence never escalates because Celeste keeps Luca from getting too violent. Like every other fusion, Osiris has some ups to them that makes them useful. They’re not too flashy with their fighting style and being able to use flight helps make easy kills and kidnapping enemies without a sound seeing as how their legs are nonexistent.

They don’t ever like being with their thoughts, afraid of what they’ll think of while they’re just alone. It’s not that Luca and Celeste have a toxic friendship that causes this type of fusion, but more like that their personalities just don’t mesh well as Osiris.

Fusion Song: Don’t let me down

Fusion Dance: Solo One Million Dance Studio

Danylo + Celeste

“Rest your eyes and I will be here to heal you…”

Name: Centauri

Dominant in the fusion: Somewhat equal, but Danylo usually is in control

Height: Can vary from 5’6 to 11’0 depending on their form

Misc: Osiris may not have legs, but Centauri is the real ethereal ghost here. Despite the demonic looking eyes, they’re very peaceful and kind to the core. Like the fused participants, Centauri is wonderful with children and is very similar to a caretaker. They’re very good with soothing people and can heal small wounds, which makes them a good team cleric or nurse or whatever. Though their methods of soothing people can be considered creepy to some as they tend to envelope people with… whatever is under the cloak – most likely their arms, but no one really thinks Centauri has a physical body aside from that under the cloak.

They can change their depending on the situation: For instance, if a kid needed healing, Centauri would be at a normal height to fix their scratches. Though their comforting aura isn’t just to relax people under their care; Centauri uses it against enemies to lull them into a false sense of security and cause them to drop their guard. Their voice is soothing and their smile is sweet enough to fake out enemies and cause hallucinations, but this is also why everyone else is a little… creeped out by them. They tend to just appear out of nowhere and lurk behind people for a bit and they like to hum when everything is quiet. Though to be honest, that’s just Centauri being a bit care free and not knowing that they scare people sometimes.

Centauri is a sweet giant who likes to care for kids and those in pain; their intentions are just a bit misunderstood.

Fusion Song: Angels by Owl City

Fusion Dance: Happy - Sori Na dance cover

Kirill + Celeste

“You should run along and let me handle this, kid. Just let a pro do their thing!”

Name: Titania

Dominant in the fusion: Kirill during serious situations, Celeste most of the other time

Height: 12’8

Misc: Titania is, in short, a more controlled version of the next fusion. They’re a very pretty, yet dangerously strong fusion with probably the most human looks out of the other fusions. This allows Titania to pass as super human and thanks to Kirill, they’re able to do things without causing too much of a fuss and getting things done efficiently. Sometimes they like to show off during a fight depending on the severity of the situation – After all, they’re strong enough to not need a weapon so of course they’ll occasionally show it off by flexing a couple times in battle.

Though Titania can’t stay fused for long and that’s because they’ll get too comfortable as themselves if they do. Other than their height and freakish strength, Titania can pretend to be human enough to forget that they’re a fusion if Kirill and Celeste are together for way longer than needed. This was proven when Titania disappeared after a fight and didn’t come back for a couple days. When they did return, they had several new tattoos running along their arm and abdomen (It still shows up when Kirill and Celeste fuse now). It became clear to everyone that if they didn’t separate, Titania would become their own being and might not unfuse at all.

Someone has to remind Titania to unfuse after a fight as to prevent this from happening; sometimes they’d get a bit pouty or sad because they have so much fun being themselves. Out of all the fusions, Titania feels like a completely separate person from who their made up of and it’s scary how easily they could just forget who they use to be. It could even lead to them forgetting how strong they really are and then it becomes a risk to even let Kirill and Celeste fuse. Even so, at the end of the day, the both of them have had a lot of fun because of Titania.

Fusion Song: Hey Mama Galwaro remix

Fusion Dance: Sugar Choreo One Million Dance cover

Harper + Celeste

“Feels good being king… or queen or whatever. All I know is, it feels good to be me~”

Name: Callisto

Dominant in the fusion: Harper

Height: 21’3

Misc: A himedere in every sense of the word, Callisto appears to be a rather stuck up fusion who acts like they’re royalty. Despite this, they’re strong as hell – stronger than Titania – and they’re always up for a challenge to prove that they’re the best (And every time they win, it’s no surprise to them.). As expected, Callisto is extremely unstable due to the strained relationship of the two participants and can have their outbursts of rudeness or petty behavior. However, that doesn’t stop either Harper or Celeste from having a great time, seeing as how both of them get an immense adrenaline rush when they’re Callisto. Admittedly, they both feel a little guilty afterwards seeing how destructive they get as Callisto, but the guilt doesn’t last long.

The explosive relationship between the two has led to Callisto being chaotic and thus banned to being a last resort ONLY – Which is, admittedly, for the best because not only do they get disastrous, but they also get immense emotional backlash from being fused.

Their emotions are amplified while fused and passed along to the other, which can be difficult to deal with. It causes Callisto to be emotionally incapacitated depending on how severe it is. So even though they get so much joy from being themselves, they can also feel incredible grief and anger if they aren’t careful.

Fusion Song: I’m coming after you by Owl City

Fusion Dance: Déjà vu choreo by One million dance studio

#wicked-suits #{this took so lo ng and im sorry sammmyyyy ily!!}#{anyways all of these and i can’t pick which one i liked most??? kljsldkgsg}#sнσт тσ мү нεαят [♠️harper♠️]#gσσ∂вүε sυммεя нεℓℓσ ғαℓℓ [♦️luca♦️]#ιт's sεvεηтн нεαvεη [♥️Danylo♥️]#ι'м вεggιηg үσυ! [♣️kirill♣️]#aura's art

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chriscanwell · 5 years

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This article talks about the dangers of narcissistic women. How to spot narcissistic women and the best way to deal with them to avoid getting hurt.

Signs Your Dating a Narcissist

You often feel manipulated

You never feel good enough

You feel exploited and used

They lie without remorse

They are arrogant and demeaning

Their life and history is chaotic and messy

They attack you and attempt to bully you

They ghost you and disappear from your life

When we think of sociopaths and psychopaths, we generally think of men. The Golden State Killer, The Night Stalker, Jack The Ripper—all men. But what about women?

Anti-Social, narcissistic and Machiavellian behavior that is found in women generally flies under the radar.

Narcissistic women aren’t using outright aggression and violence to terrorize their victims. Instead, they use manipulation and covert bullying to terrorize the people in their life.

The female narcissist is the true personification of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

She appears in the form of a sweet, innocent girl, a kind-hearted mother, a vivacious, energetic, joyful women, a kind, old grandmother––yet her motivations are often sinister and dark.

Deep beneath that sweet exterior lies something much more sinister: there lies a desire to destroy, hurt, and manipulate.

So why do female narcissists behave this way? What do they want? And what feeds this darkness within their soul?

Narcissistic women want, in no order of preference: power, dominance, control, wealth, status, resources; and, most disturbing of all, a desire to inflict pain on others, which leads to a sense of fulfillment and deep satisfaction on the part of the narcissist.

It should be noted that both men and women find themselves victims of the female narcissist, although usually in different ways.

Female victims are used to serve, feed and support the narcissistic woman’s ego, to serve her bidding like a servant serves its master.

While male victims are used to provide the narcissistic woman with attention, status and resources until the man is milked dry and is of no further use.

The Creation of the Narcissist

Much like a psychopath, the early warning signs for a female narcissist are evident in childhood.

Similar to psychopathy, narcissism is genetic in nature and is an inherited trait.

Narcissim is, after all, a mental disorder, which is believed to affect approximately 1% of the general population. (That’s approximately 3.27 million narcissists in the US alone.)

Narcissistic personality disorder is classified by the DSM-5 as one of the Cluster B Personality Disorders. These Cluster B personality disorders include Borderline Personality, Histrionic Personality and Antisocial Personality.

An interesting study carried out by researchers at the University of Germany found that people with narcissistic personality disorder have problems with the right anterior insular cortex in the brain. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for empathy.

The little girl who gangs up on other children in the playground has the potential to develop into a fully formed malignant narcissist.

That “catty girl” in high school who victimizes other girls and verbally attacks boys is a strong contender for adult narcissism.

The “office bitch” who disrupts the workplace, attacking lower ranked colleagues while "kissing managements’ ass" is most likely a functioning narcissist.

In the workplace, the narcissist will often see other co-workers as potentially abusive and threatening. As a result, the female narcissist is frequently triggered because her self-esteem is so fragile.

Traits of Narcissistic Women

Narcissist women are first and foremost—shameless (although they can feel great shame).

Narcissists distort reality

They are hyper-sensitive

They can do no wrong

They see themselves as perfect

They are arrogant and entitled

They have no problem exploiting others

They lack empathy and concern for others

Narcissists don't respect boundaries and personal space

Narcissists are not constrained by society, nor do they care what other people want. They don't feel guilty about this and they don't feel shame.

The narcissist doesn’t want to confront feelings of shame because shame is an attack on their ego and valuable sense of self.

Instead, narcissists edge towards feelings of guilt for their actions. In this way, it is not her actions that are bad or evil, as her intentions were good (she was simply defending herself).

Tied to this, narcissists distort reality, believing themselves to be perfect. It is everyone else who is wrong and evil.

By far the most obvious narcissistic traits are arrogance and entitlement. The narcissist woman believes that she deserves the best treatment, favoritism, and that she should be “worshipped” by others.

If you worship a narcissist, you might be pathetic, but you are certainly useful in so much that you help to uphold her fragile ego and self-esteem.

These narcissistic traits lead to two dangerous byproducts: exploitation and bad boundaries.

The narcissistic woman has no hesitation when it comes to exploiting other people for her benefit.

She doesn’t care what other people want or need. As a result, the narcissist struggles to hold together friendships and her romantic life is a chaotic mess.

Narcissists do not respect boundaries either. You are there to serve her needs.

If a narcissistic woman continually infringes upon your personal space and crosses your personal boundaries, they are most likely a narcissist who sees you as an extension of herself, someone who is there to serve her needs and raise her up.

This all leads to a thoroughly unpleasant experience when it comes to interacting with narcissists.

This is also why it’s so important to be able to spot a narcissistic woman, so you can protect yourself and your family from being drawn into her toxic web of destruction.

How to Spot A Female Narcissist

When you know what to look for, it’s easy to spot narcissistic women. The best advice I can give you (on top of the information listed below) is to listen to your gut.

If something feels wrong, it probably is wrong and you need to pay close attention to your instincts. Ignore these early warning signs at your own peril.

She Bad Mouths People

The first thing you might notice about a female narcissist is her propensity to bad mouth people.

She is often callous, vicious and lacking in empathy when it comes to dealing with other people. She has a mean tongue and thinks nothing of bad mouthing co-workers and friends.

I once worked with a classic female narcissist who would refer to other colleagues as “idiots,” “morons,” “freaks,” and “retards.” I heard all this on my first day at work and it was an instant red-flag.

If you come across a woman who constantly bad mouths other people, it’s not a question of WILL she bad mouth you? It's a question of WHEN will she bad mouth you? There are no exceptions to this rule.

She Is Attractive (or tries hard to be)

Narcissistic women are often attractive and make a great first impression. They dress to impress and go out of their way to look good.

Because the narcissist is so focused on herself, she pays particular attention to her style and appearance. She will often wear flashy or expensive clothes (even when it feels inappropriate or out of place to do so).

A narcissist can be physically unattractive, yet see herself as the most attractive person in the world.

Furthermore, the narcissistic woman will frequently use cosmetic enhancements to improve her appearance.

She will think nothing of getting breast implants, liposuction, nose jobs, and facelifts it these surgeries mean that she can gain more followers and have more influence, thus increasing her status.

She Brings Chaos Into Your Life

Your life was running smoothly until you met the narcissist. Narcissistic women feed off drama by creating pain and suffering in their victims.

It doesn’t matter what you think or feel. It doesn’t matter if you get hurt because your emotions and feelings aren’t important.

All that’s important is the narcissist's needs.

The world revolves around the narcissist and her selfish emotions. Anything that raises her up, makes her feel better, advances her position in life is all that counts.

As a result, when you interact with narcissistic women you will notice that you have to deal with a LOT of unnecessary drama and problems.

Expect hysterical tantrums, manipulation, verbal abuse, especailly if you are unable to meet the narcissist's needs. And God help you if you’re dating a narcissistic woman. Life will get messy fast.

She's Ignorant and Obnoxious

Just because a woman is a narcissist doesn’t mean she is intelligent or smart.

In fact, in my interactions with narcissistic women, I have come to view them as particularly blinkered and obnoxious to the point of stupidity.

The narcissist's self-focus and obsession with themselves blinds them to the realities of life and the needs of other people.

They are often so self-obsessed that they only talk about themselves, their needs, their emotions, their desires. It’s all about them as they see themselves as the most interesting and important person on earth.

They are rarely, if ever, interested in other people unless they can get something from another person.

Often, when you meet a narcissistic women one thought will run through your mind: God, I can’t stand this person. They’re so vain, obnoxious, and overbearing.

She's An Attention Whore

Narcissistic women have huge egos. They are, what you might call, ego monsters. They crave recognition, power, and status.

You might sense that someone who posts lots of pictures on social media is narcissistic, but the true narcissist will take this to the extreme, posting excessive amounts of pictures on social media (featuring themselves and their “glamours” lifestyle).

Indeed, a study carried out by Researchers at Swansea University found that excessive use of social media, in particular, selfies and images, are associated with high levels of narcissism.

With that said, the extreme narcissist, at her core, has an extreme fear of death and imperfection.

To overcome this fear of death, the narcissist creates a distortion field to protect herself from the imperfections of the world and keep her sense of self intact.

Any attempt to criticize the narcissist or to say something that shatters her sense of self will be met with extreme resistance and anger.

She Sucks Your Emotions and Takes Your Money

After interacting with a narcissist, you will often feel emotionally drained. Narcissists are emotional vampires in the truest sense of the word.

They care nothing for your feelings. They have no empathy or sympathy and will think nothing of causing you stress and turmoil.

A classic example of this is when you tell a narcissist that you’re busy or unavailable and they continue to blow up your phone with messages and phone calls.

Why? Because they don’t care if you’re busy or unavailable, it’s all about what they want—you’re emotions and feelings are of no importance.

If you deal with a narcissist prepare to be left feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. Trying to please a narcissist is an exercise in futility.

You can throw as much attention, money and support at a narcissist and it will never be enough—a narcissist is essentially a human black hole.

If you’re dating a narcissistic woman, you will notice that she tries to go after your resources. She will spend your money and take things from you without thinking twice.

A classic example of this is a woman who asks a man to buy her things, or encourages the man to spend money on her, all the while offering nothing in return.

Sometimes the narcissist will trade resources for sex, but not always.

Often the narcissist will offer the “promise of sex” or a “romantic relationship” with no intention of ever allowing a strong emotional or physical connection to take place.

You will be left feeling used and abused. You will feel manipulated. And you will feel a strong imbalance in a relationship with a narcissist.

The narcissist will think nothing of sucking you dry and will get all cut up when you refuse to buy her things or give in to her manipulative demands.

One narcissistic woman, who was dating a friend of mine, used to strip down naked and strut around the bedroom saying, “You can look but you can’t touch… next time you can touch.”

She would tease this man to the point of cruelty.

One time she even knelt over on the bed and spread her ass cheeks inviting the man to come to her her and take her from behind.

Right before the man had a chance to come close, the narcissistic woman would pull away, reprimanding the man for being sex obsessed.

This was classic narcissistic female behavior. Draw the man in, get him on the hook, promise more, then control and manipulate him to her advantage.

What did she get out of the arrangement? Luxury weekends, gifts, and attention from a high-status man.

What did the man get? Nothing. Nothing but cruelty and frustration.

If you’re dating a narcissist, they will (implicitly or explicitly) offer the promise of more as they take as much (support, attention, validation and money) from you as they possibly can.

You’re a Hero, then You're Zero

What makes the female narcissist so disturbing is her ability to draw people into her web so easily.

When you first meet a narcissist, they will often make you feel like the most important person in the world. This is especially true if you are useful to them.

If you’re in a higher position at work, have high status, wealth, or social value—the narcissist will notice, and, much like the psychopath, they will use you for their own gain.

The treatment you receive from a narcissist will often be night and day, deepening upon who you are as a person.

If you have high social status and wealth, a narcissist will treat you well in order to piggyback off your success.

If you have low social status and an average income your interactions with narcissistic women will be frosty and unpleasant.

You are of no real use to a narcissist, unless you’re working for them or working to advance their position.

If a woman enters your life and flatters you and gives you extra attention, be careful, you might be dealing with a narcissist.

A relationship with narcissist follows this path: you’re Charmed, then You’re Harmed.

If she makes you feel like a hero and she tries to rush the seduction, this is also a huge red flag.

Be wary of people who want to get too close to you too soon, they usually have ulterior motives.

Similarly, if you meet a woman and she is dismissive or rude towards you for no apparent reason, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a narcissist.

She's Had Many Relationships

Sit down with a narcissistic woman and you will hear stories of all the terrible men in her life. She will have had many boyfriend and has possibly been divorced numerous times.

The destruction of her relationships is never her fault. The man was "an asshole,” “abusive,” “mean,” “self-centered,” “manipulative,” “aggressive.”

(Note: the terms she uses to describe her past relationships are often a projection of her own behavior.)

One thing is for sure, narcissistic women have many concurrent and past relationships. Their social life and love life is a mess. If you expect to be treated any differently, you’re in for a big surprise.

If you're dating a narcissistic woman, there's a good chance she'll disappear from your life and ghost you without warning. This usually happens when she meets another man who has more status and wealth. If there's one thing a narcissist is good at it's monkey-branching.

People Love Her or Hate Her

One of the best ways to diagnose a psychopath is to interview their friends and family and hear what they have to say about the person.

In the case of psychopaths, responses will usually vary in the extreme—from "this person is amazing" to "this person is the most horrible person I have ever met."

Narcissists are the same. Talk to the people in a narcissists life and opinions of the person will vary from one extreme to another. People will either love the narcissist or they will hate her.

Most relationships with a narcissistic woman progress from extreme like to extreme dislike in a relatively short space of time.

She's Skilled at Psychological Torture

The sweet, little girl who starts out life as a difficult child in the playground, before graduating to bullying in high school is simply refining and improving her narcissistic traits as she prepares to enter adulthood.

By the time the narcissistic woman enters the workplace, she is often skilled at psychological manipulation.

She can smell weakness and vulnerability in men (and women) like a shark smells blood. The narcissistic woman knows how to target people and exploit weakness.

When dating a narcissist, expect her to make you jealous, pitting men against you and using other men as proxy weapons for her own advantage.

She will go out of her way to punish you and make you feel jealous. If you notice this behavior, then she is most likely a narcissist who uses men for her own personal gain.

Furthermore, she will threaten you (in an extreme way) and cause unnecessary drama as she continues to bring turmoil into your life.

You will struggle to engage with the narcissist in a rational way. She will twist your words and accuse you of doing things you haven’t done.

In other words, she is always right, and you are always wrong.

Expect extreme over-reaction when dealing with a narcissist. Her reactions and behavior will always seem extreme and over-the-top with high levels of jealousy, anger, rage, and exploitation characterizing your relationship.

She’s Manipulative

Throughout history, narcissistic women have used their psychological prowess to manipulate men and get them to do their bidding.

A narcissistic woman can psychologically manipulate a man in any number of ways. Most of the time, these women will use their emotions as a form of psychological attack.

And it’s certainly not uncommon for a woman to "fake" her emotions in a strategic bid to unsettle a man.

Guilt trips, threats, bouts of anger, crying, and temper tantrums are all forms of psychological manipulation that women use to break a man down.

A woman might try to make you feel guilty for not behaving a certain way. She might pretend to be angry or sad because you've stepped out of line.

She might throw a tantrum and act unreasonable. She might become withdrawn and distant. She might even attempt to make you feel ashamed for something you did in the past.

Of course, when a woman does this, she gets a free pass because she’s just being emotional. She's a woman, she's allowed to act unreasonable.

In response, men often tell a woman what they think she wants to hear, only to see the situation deteriorate and get worse.

The key to combatting psychological manipulation is to avoid falling into the trap of defending yourself with logic and reason, and see the narcissist's behavior for what it is: pure manipulation.

Narcissistic Women Test to the Extreme

If you feel taken aback by a woman's behavior or a sudden change in her mood, recognize it for what it is—a test.

You must never allow yourself to be drawn into a woman’s emotions. Instead, you must use a woman’s emotional withdrawal or volatility as an opportunity to project strength.

A woman might call you a liar, a cheater, a loser. She might even go so far as to tell you that she doesn’t trust you anymore or that she doesn’t love you. But whatever happens, you must never succumb to her emotions—emotions that will burn themselves out in time.

If you show a woman that nothing she does can unsettle you, she’ll come back to you time and time again with heightened levels of attraction.

The woman will also learn a valuable lesson in the process: she will realize that she has no emotional control over you whatsoever. Whatever she does or says cannot hurt you.

With narcissistic women, this testing is even more extreme (and often borderline abusive). The narcissistic women will throw abuse and insults at you with no concern for your feelings.

Because the narcissist sees the world in a binary way (e.g., black/white, good/bad, smart/dumb, young/old), the narcissistic will often hurl insults that are binary in nature:

“You’re so stupid!”

“You’re so ugly!”

“You’re a bitch, not a man!”

“You’re a poor, cheap bastard!”

“You’re an old jobless waste of life!”

“Your mother should have aborted you!”

There is no point trying to defend yourself by getting into a blazing argument, and you certainly must never apologize to a narcissist as apologies are an extreme form of weakness in the narcissist's eyes.

Just as you should never argue with a drunk, it's a waste of time to argue with a narcissist.

Instead, you must walk away and display a complete lack of indifference to the narcissist's behavior and accusations.

Beware the Malignant Narcissist

The malignant narcissist is the most dangerous and extreme form of narcissism.

When a woman is high on the scale of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), she is easily triggered and not just a danger to herself but a danger to others as well.

Malignant narcissism is characterized by a set of antisocial features. These antisocial features include paranoia, aggression, rage, jealousy, need for power, and grandiosity.

On top of this, the malignant narcissist will feel a lack of empathy for others along with a lack of concern and awareness regarding her own actions.

The reason why malignant narcissists are so dangerous is because they are extremely vindictive and spiteful.

Malignant narcissists have the potential to destroy families and communities (and in some cases, countries e.g., Josef Stalin who terrorized the Russian people with his paranoia and narcissism).

You will often feel as though you are walking on eggshells around these types of narcissists, and they will lash out in anger and seek vengeance against you for the smallest infraction.

Simply disagreeing with their opinion or saying something that they feel is offensive is enough to set them off.

Malignant narcissists are hyper-sensitive and paranoid. They are also power hungry and delusional.

This type of narcissist will even tell lies about themselves and believe their own lies just because they said it, it must be true.

Many narcissists will use any means possible to attack you if they feel as though you have diminished them in any way, and this is especially true of malignant narcissists.

If you say something even slightly critical to the malignant narcissist she will respond with extreme aggression, anger, and hostility in retaliation.

If this means leveraging the legal system to her advantage against you, she will do this.

If you trigger a malignant female narcissist, expect a storm of rage to hit you via social media, messages, phone calls, or indirectly through the legal system (as they make false allegations against you).

You can read two disturbing account of vindictive female narcissists below:

One tells the story of a vengeful female narcissist who tries to imprison another woman for a perceived slight against her son.

The other tells the story of two narcissistic women who sought out male victims to exploit for no other reason than acquiring power and control over men.

If you’re lucky, the malignant narcissist will attack you head on with verbal abuse and direct anger.

If you’re unlucky, and happen to meet a more scheming, manipulative narcissist, they will use the legal system against you and attempt to terrorize you via social media and the courts.

The police have a term for dangerous people like this. They are called 50/50s because their actions hover between legal and illegal––that gray, murky area that makes it difficult to press charges.

Terrorizing a man over social media by threatening to tell his colleagues and his family that he is a rapist is illegal—it’s slander.

Only, it’s not illegal if it’s said in such a way as to be ambiguous enough to leave some doubt as to the true nature of the allegation.

If a woman makes a fake account on social media and slowly but surely destroys your life, it’s going to be hard to prove “who did it” and it’s going to be hard to repair the damage, even if you do get a chance to clear your name.

Narcissistic women are often experts at finding this gray area, staying on the border between legal and illegal as they terrorize their target.

What they do is illegal/borderline illegal, but it’s going to be hard to prove it. In the meantime, the narcissist inflicts tremendous amounts of damage and grief upon her victims.

But why? Why do they do this and why do they go to such extremes?

The reason why the malignant narcissist attacks so fiercely is to repair the damage to her fragile ego.

When she destroys your life and brings you down, the narcissist regains a sense of justice and restores her sense of power––power that she believes you stole from her.

Men Who Are Vulnerable to Narcissists

Some men are more vulnerable to narcissistic women than others. The type of men who are most vulnerable to Narcissistic women are as follows:

Lonely men who are desperate for love and affection

Men who need ego validation and appreciation

Men who are missing support and respect in their life

Men who are sexually frustrated and want romance

High status men with lots of money and power

Men who crave drama, risk and entertainment

If you are one of these types of men, you must be extra vigilant around women who suddenly take a keen interest in your life and attempt to ingratiate themselves with you.

How to Deal With Narcissistic Women

When it comes to dealing with narcissistic women, you must remember that any attempt to challenge them will be perceived by the narcissist as a threat.

The narcissist will react with extreme anger, jealousy, and volatility. If you decide to have an ongoing argument or series of conflicts with a narcissist, you will find the whole process extremely tiring and exhausting.

Instead, it is much better to walk away and enforce strict boundaries between yourself and the narcissist.

Narcissism is simply a mental disorder, and it is certainly possible, if you know what you’re doing, to have a good relationship with a narcissist (like a lion tamer has a relationship with a lion).

Similar to a sweet dessert, the narcissist is best taken in small doses. They are not the type of people you can relax with and have fun.

The narcissist is a taker, and, as a result, they will leave you feeling exhausted after spending time in their company.

I have had some "functional" relationships with people who were obvious narcissists, but I have also had some terrible relationships with narcissists.

Having said that, the narcissist can be quite entertaining. They often live large lives (although a lot this "largeness" is fake).

However, if you want to be regaled with stories of horror, drama, and crazy relationships the narcissist is a good person to speak to.

Just remember to take the narcissist's words with a grain of salt and never allow them to get too close to you.

However, if you want/need to have a functional, working relationship with a narcissist, you must enforce strict boundaries. You must also set strict limits on the amount of time you spend with them.

If you give your time too freely to a narcisssit, they will suck your emotions dry and leave you feeling spent. They will also lose respect for you.

It is only when you enforce strict boundaries that the narcissist will maintain a modicum of respect for you.

If you find yourself in conflict with a narcissist, walk away. You don’t need to engage them and feed their destructive emotions.

Walk away and cut them off if possible.

You must remember to maintain a separation between yourself and the narcissist at all times. Never allow them to get too emotionally close to you, or allow them to see you as an extension of themself.

Narcissistic Self-Destruction

As life progresses and the narcissist is unable to acquire the type of wealth, status, and perfection their heart desires, the cracks in their fragile self-esteem start to appear.

All narcissists are ultimately on a collision course with reality—it is only a matter of time before they make impact and self-destruct.

As the world slowly chips away at the narcissist’s version of reality, narcissistic denial, delusion and paranoia tends to escalate as a form of compensation.

This all leads to one very sad conclusion: a life of broken dreams, fractured relationships, and unrealized potential.

In its most extreme form, the narcissist will commit suicide as her disappointment and frustration reaches psychotoic proportions.

While the female narcissist leaves a trail of destruction in her path, at the end of the day, she always ends up alone.

It is very difficult for the narcissist to maintain a loving relationship. They might get married, but their marriage will be purely self-serving and loveless.

The narcissist cannot maintain friendships as their friends are few and far between.

At the end of the day, the narcissist is her own worst enemy, sabotaging any chance at happiness as she continues to live a life devoid of human connection.

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clonerightsagenda · 7 years

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I quit writing Homestuck meta a long time ago, but I guess the pre-4/13 fervor is infectious, because this popped into my head and wouldn’t go away. So here’s some musings on Homestuck, the ending, and its portrayal (or rather, erasure) of character identity and agency.

Let’s rewind back several years and a few subsubacts, to the meteor and battleship crews’ not so triumphant arrival in the combined session. Two of the kids’ number have been mind-controlled and forced to work for the Empress. Two have been thrown in prison. One has been banished to the outer reaches of space. The rest have been divvied up and placed on various Lands, given different tasks to be completed for the Empress. Even in beating SBURB and winning the game they have no escape, because she intends to rule the new universe they create… until it spawns Lord English and is destroyed.

Things look bleak. And things look even bleaker when Game Over rolls around, and most of the cast gets exterminated. But wait! John Egbert, Heir of Breath and leader of the Beta session, has gotten his hands on a miraculous artifact supposedly useful as a weapon against Lord English. He now has the ability to travel throughout time and space and to change things that usually cannot be changed. While his friends get wiped out, he fights the “tyrannous author” figure who has been telling their story wrong and wins. Surely with his newfound abilities, he will set things right and lead them to freedom.

Except. Not really.

Oh sure, John “saves the day”. He uses his retcon abilities to create a new timeline where everyone lives and wins the game. But is it a victory? And did everyone really live?

I’m going to argue that the ending of Homestuck is a tragedy where characters’ identities are frequently ignored or overwritten in order to serve the utilitarian aims of the narrative (and Skaia). I do not make this argument believing Hussie intended it. I think the dip in quality and coherency at the end of Homestuck was the product of an author who was tired of his project, had lost track of a bunch of plot points and characters, and just wanted to be finished. But I do think its treatment of identity is drastically different from the rest of the work and sends some disturbing messages about how “happy” that ending really is.

Alternate Selves

Dave and Davesprite. Vriska and (Vriska). Pre- and post-scratch. Bro, Dirk, Hal. Throughout the comic, we’re shown that alternate selves are different people. They may begin as the same when they split apart, but in not too long, their personalities diverge as part of lived experience. Bro is not Dirk is not Hal. They have certain base characteristics and sometimes experiences in common, but they are different people. Most members of the fandom would agree that it’s silly to suggest that they aren’t.

And yet the ending of Homestuck asks us to accept something very similar. The Game Over iterations of characters are wiped out, and a new set takes their place. While earlier parts of the comic train readers to view the loss of any one iteration as significant and the introduction of a new iteration as something different (Rose’s grief over losing her mother cannot be completely abated by the introduction of Roxy; Rose’s mother is still dead. And I suspect the fandom would not have been pleased if Dave had died forever and Davesprite had been anointed sole Dave survivor.) this asks them to do the opposite. Oh, sure, the characters you’ve been following for years are dead and never coming back. But here’s a new set!

Even more eerily, the characters themselves go along with it. Rose, who saw a version of Roxy die in front of her, is perfectly content to greet a new version. GO!Roxy’s arrival absolves Jane of the guilt of killing her best friend, and apparently the other Alphas aren’t at all perturbed that the Roxy joining them has a different set of memories. (I’m not sure anyone even tells Dirk, who was out in space for all of this.) John, who has a history of looking down on alternate selves (his entire fraught relationship with Davesprite versus the “real” Dave, his proclamation of friendship with “past Terezi”) apparently has no problem meeting up with a version of his sister who has no memories of the three years he spent with another version of her, and neither does she. The GO! survivors slot right into the retcon kids’ lives to fill some available gaps, even though earlier they would have been considered separate people by the story, not replacements.

Characterization

I’m not going to get into how nearly everyone’s character arc and development got dropped (or expound on why ‘real people don’t have arcs’ is nonsense) beyond that the majority of characters get sidelined, used as means to an end, and/or objectified, which also impedes their agency and identity. That’s another post. But what I will focus on is how one character who gets brought to the front of the stage exemplifies the destruction of identity for the sake of utility that this ending seems to prioritize. That character is Vriska Serket.

Now, Vriska is a lightning rod of fandom de88. But identity and the negotiation, suppression, or recreation of it has always been a big thing for her. Vriska emulates Mindfang and adopts many of her nastier behaviors on Alternia in order to survive their violent culture and her dangerous lusus. This is the explanation for a lot of her actions, but it doesn’t excuse them. Throughout the story, she frequently teeters on the edge of realizing and accepting that her behavior is wrong (GO!Vriska gets closest, although she never quite makes it). Retcon!Vriska, though, has had that spark of self-awareness snuffed. Puffed up with self-importance over having reality literally rewritten to save her life, she’s cruel for the sake of cruelty and forces everyone else to go along with her power gamer strategy regardless of whether it’s a good choice. When she encounters GO!Vriska, who we can presume is closer to what Vriska might have been without all these toxic influences, she lashes out at her and seems disgusted by who she has become (her more authentic self?). GO!Vriska then wanders off, encounters Terezi, and vanishes from the story entirely. Retcon!Vriska is the one who “defeats” (?) Lord English before vanishing as well. She is sold as the missing ingredient that leads to a victorious timeline – the version of Vriska who has rejected and lost her true identity under a warped façade, turning into the monster she always fronted as. Inspiring.

The Dreaming Dead

(EDIT) Since we just talked about Vriska, let’s talk about her pawns. The dreaming dead get jerked around a lot throughout the story, but the first time Vriska and Aranea steal their minds, it’s supposed to be messed up. The image of Scorpio signs hovering over their blank expressions is eerie, and John (the hero) points out it’s ethically dubious. Later, Sollux bails because the whole thing makes him “feel dirty”. The first time dreamers die at English’s hand, it’s portrayed as horrific both through the presentation in Caliborn: Enter itself and Dave talking later about how after witnessing “the screaming and the killing” he’s had a hard time sleeping. We even recognize some of the dreamers - the version of John killed hails from Davesprite’s timeline, and we even followed his time with Vriska briefly. These ghosts have identities. We know them.

In Collide, though, dreamers are dispatched in droves without fanfare. They’re simply a distraction Vriska uses until she can get English with the weapon (although why she needed a diversion I’m not sure, since she doesn’t exactly try to sneak up on him). They change hands between ‘leaders’ without ever having voices of their own, and their deaths have no impact. It’s just visual noise. The dead only matter to the extent that they can serve main characters’ aims and the narrative.

Ultimate Selves

In the last handful of pages of the comic, Hussie introduces the concept of “ultimate selves” through Davepeta. Apparently combo sprites can remember all iterations of themselves (although they don’t particularly act like it, but whatever). From this perspective, they find differences of selves meaningless, and inform Jade that every self is important because they help create your ‘ultimate self’, which is a compilation of all selves into a sort of Platonic ideal. This means, they tell poor Jade, that she didn’t really miss out on three years with her friends! Her ultimate self had a great time. Why this is supposed to be a consolation to this Jade, who had a shitty time, I am not sure.

Again, this flies against the established differences between selves that earlier Homestuck prizes. Alt selves have different identities. They’re different people. Claiming the boundaries between them are meaningless erases that. The concept of an ultimate self makes sense from a reader’s perspective. We get to see all the different paths the characters go down. We get to look at different selves and use that information to inform our reading of the character or our grasp of some of their inherent qualities. But that doesn’t apply to the characters themselves. It’s cold comfort telling this Jade that another version of her didn’t suffer alone for three years. She did. If this were leading up to some massive memory merge between timelines then I might acknowledge it held water, but as it is… it reads like the attempts of an author to justify a bad decision.

We have whatever Terezi did in Remem8er (a beautiful flash, but no one can quite determine what it meant) but we don’t know whether she actually accomplished retrieving any memories because she never gets to talk about it. (The flash also implies that every death spawns a ghost, which is directly contrary to previously established game mechanics so I won’t really get into it, but that does further complicate the whole identity thing we have going on here.) And I’m not sure I buy Davepeta’s pep talk at face value, as I’ll expand on in the next section.

Sprites Squared

Oh boy. If you’ve followed me much you know I hold a grudge against these entities for a whoooole bunch of reasons. But among other things, they’re an excellent example of lategame Homestuck’s identity destruction at work.

The combosprites take characters in pretty bad shape – struggling with depression and alcoholism (and Nepeta, but she seems mostly along for the ride. I mean, she doesn’t even get a Heart symbol as part of Dp’s outfit) – and perk them right up. Setting aside the fact that this is weirdly like the whole ‘smile away your problems’ shtick in Trickster mode, something even more sinister seems to be going on. Neither of them act all that much how you’d expect them to. Davepeta doesn’t talk much at all like either of their components besides surface level quirks and cat puns, imo. Jasprose, after Rose died lamenting that she didn’t tell Kanaya she loved her, rebounds at lightning speed. But let’s move right on over to the smoking gun, where Davepeta suggests dating Jasprose shouldn’t be off the table, even if some of their components are related. “The Dave part of me is saying no no no,” they say, “but that brain tantrum just cracks me up”.

This seems to imply that the components of the combosprites are in fact 1) separate 2) sentient and 3) not pleased. And were sprites ever true unions of personalities? We don’t see much of Erisol or Fefeta, but as soon as he’s distressed, ARquius’s two components start speaking separately, and based on Tavros’s comment that being Tavris wasn’t that bad versus Tavris screaming that they’re an abomination, that sounds like it was mostly Vriska talking.

So if Davepeta doesn’t sound much like either of their components, and at least one of those personalities is still independently yelling somewhere in their subconscious, who ARE they? I’m not sure, but I’d sure take their cheerful promotion of “ultimate selves” with a heaping pound or two of salt. (EDIT) Especially as I’ve argued elsewhere that it’s in Skaia’s best interests to have a bunch of game victors complacent about the sacrifice of hordes of people for the Big Picture, and sprites are a mouthpiece for Skaia and the game. And even more so since the message of the combosprites’ “fixing” of their components’ emotional distress seems to be that the way to achieve happiness is to stop being you, much as the Game Over kids were only able to stop suffering by ceasing to exist at all.

Retconbound

Finally, let’s look at John’s finest moment, altering the timeline so that everyone lives. He’s Breath – communication, freedom, travel – given ultimate agency by the juju powers. But… he doesn’t get much agency. He’s following Terezi’s orders, written in blood (Blood, an aspect of bonds and binding). And he seems rather unconscious or uncaring of the effect he’s having. After picking up the ring, he drops by a set of meteor kids recently transported onto LOMAX and enjoys a touching reunion, saying hi and hugging them… and then teleports off to make that never happen. What was the point of that display of friendship? What even happened to that group of kids, in a timeline with no ring of life? We don’t know, and the narrative suggests we shouldn’t care, any more than John does as he blithely flies away. We’re racking up a bunch of characters and timelines who are merely there to serve the narrative’s latest whim or need, not because they’re important in themselves.

And here’s the kicker. That juju, that magic device that saves the day? It’s powered by four Beta kids’ souls trapped inside it for eternity. We don’t know what timeline they come from, or whether they ever escape. They are faceless, voiceless, identityless plot devices that give John the ability to do what he does. They’re the culmination of how this narrative treats its characters in the endgame – as tools to get to the last page. Skaia doesn’t care who walks through the door, as long as it has warm bodies to hatch the frog and keep its cycle going. Homestuck, it seems, doesn’t care which set of characters prevails as long as it can close the damn curtains at last.

And the thing is, you could have gone somewhere with this. After all, how many troll ghosts are in the bubbles? Thousands. We don’t follow their story and then watch them die, but a bunch of versions of those characters we know and care about died and festered in the furthest ring. There could have been a point made about how Skaia is happy to consign groups of children to the scrap bin if they don’t fulfill its aims, how horrifying the whole system is and how little regard it has for life. Current set of tools broken? Fixing them would take too long and they’re not useful now, so bin ‘em and start fresh. Someone has to win. Doesn’t matter who. A quote by Hussie occasionally makes the rounds talking about how many Marios die before the end of a game, but we only care about the one who wins. Maybe that’s what he was going for, but I think he missed the mark tonally. (EDIT) Not to mention that the story’s biggest villain is a Lord of Time who, besides losing most of his own identity beyond a love of destruction long ago, is all about forcing people onto the paths that serve him despite what might be better for them and who has a whole subplot where he actually attempts to rewrite their story with crappy, subpar imitations of every character. You could easily have made a connection there, but that would suggest the villain triumphed in the end. Elements of the final flash almost seem to point in that direction, but the story still tries to play things off as a victory.

Because in the end, I think the Homestuck ending sucked. Some people say it’s a psycheout and the Epilogue will have more, or reveal that it was written by Caliborn, or whatever. Guess we won’t know until it arrives. But as it all stands now, I think it sucked a lot. And I could write about the dropped character arcs or messed up plot points, but I honestly try not to talk too much about post retcon HS because it depresses me that something I was so fond of ended so terribly. I wouldn’t have been happy if it had ended as a blatant tragedy, but I could have at least respected it a little more. But this? It’s not just that many characters sidelined and ignored, that plenty of important plot points are ignored or forgotten, that some of the writing and pacing is just poorly done. After an entire comic’s worth of emphasizing the differences between iterations of individuals and the importance and value of those independent lives, characters are treated as interchangeable and expendable as long as they get the job done. Utilitarianism rules the day. That’s how to win the game, to get this hulking behemoth of a tale to limp to its final rest. And the story tries to play this as a happy ending, and that’s the worst bit of all.

#homestuck//#bluh bluh huge bitching alert #meta

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oldmanlillian1989 · 4 years

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Cat Spraying Video

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Cat Spraying Poop

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#Cat Pee Out Of Leather Best Cool Ideas #How Old Is A Male Cat When They Start Spraying

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