#Literally infinite things to think about

[anarcho-masochist]

Okay, I thought this was universal but maybe my last three therapists were right that it is not:

Is it normal for boredom to be truly unbearable?

As in, worse than anything else, would rather get eviscerated while fully conscious, will do anything to escape it which might actually include suicide if no satisfactory options are available?

#it's bad #and no it's not 'when you aren't distracted you're forced to experience existing pain' #I'm not generally suicidal. There are a lot of things I enjoy and want to do. I have plenty of problems but I tend not to care about them. #I do have things to do. Usually even if I don't want to do anything I can entertain myself since I can't switch my brain off anyways. #Literally infinite things to think about #The problem is when none of it feels interesting or exciting enough. Which doesn't make any sense at all. #If I'm unbearably bored and a friend makes the mistake of talking to me I get really toxic. It is a problem. #Usually I have great self control when it comes to destructive or toxic behaviors but not so when I want to end it all because nothing is #interesting enough. #It's like 'if I do something really extreme I'll stop because bored' #Bad things happen... #Or I try to overdose or slit my wrists #better yet is when I try to get myself killed because suicide isn't good enough.... great reasoning (disappointed) #I met three of my ex boyfriends that way #Note to self to stop fucking men i get in knife fights with PLEASE #it is ALWAYS a bad idea. Has never turned out well. #Invariably they always either have anger management/impulse control issues or they're just arrogant jerks who want to be tougher than you #sometimes both #Man really rambling in the tags here. Should probably delete that. Oh well. POST

[kagoutiss]

oot zelda doodle i liked :’-)))

#tloz #ocarina of time #oot #zelda #my handwriting is very very bad so i actually added alt text/image description #which i should already be doing with everything anyway. i wanna go thru and update some old stuff with that too #but yeah anyway. all the stuff this series presents about being Fated To Be Something or Fated To End Up Somewhere #even if that thing or place is ultimately Horrible and the consequences primarily occur off camera or post-canon after the Happy Ending #characters who end the story with pretty much nothing and also you find out later they inadvertently cause a far worse disaster #than even the one they gave up everything to prevent #oot zelda’s infinite number of issues and almost guaranteed lack of happiness or normality for the rest of her life #even after ‘fixing everything’ in literally the best possible way she could figure out how. given everything she knew #and then blaming herself for accidentally allowing everything to go wrong in the first place. by trying to fix it #and she was literally just a kid going insane from prophetic visions while simultaneously being disbelieved by everyone around her #except impa but she’s a whole other situation entirely. with a whole other set of baggage on the other end of the spectrum #i just rambled sos so much oops. anyway yea oot zelda #its fine. i throw up when i think about her. its fine

[generalsmemories]

every time i see someone shit on the xianzhou story quest on twitter i die a little bit inside.

#narus' corner #SO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE HATED XIANZHOU BECAUSE EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS AND ANCESTORS HAD PULLED UP THEORY AFTER THEORY #AND WHEN SAID THEORY DID NOT FCKING GO ALONG WITH WHAT THE ACTUAL WRITERS HAD IN STORE HELL BROKE LOOSE #ion think u understand #maybe im biased. i probably am but the way hoyoverse tackled immortality with xianzhou is quite bittersweet honestly #YA'LL WANTED UR DOOMED YAOI AND YURI AND TBH ME TOO BUT THEY ARE STILL FCKING DOOMED EVEN IF SOME THEORIES DID NOT GO AS MOST SHIPPERS WANT #THEY STILL DOOMED MILADYS AND GENTS AND NONBINARY PEEPS DAN HENG IS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AS WE SPEAK. #u look at xianzhou and see predecessors suffering the consequences of what their ancestors wanted because of immortality and vow to stop it #because they been fighting people against GALAXIES who wants a taste of that immortality who also don't KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF IT WHICH I #LITERALLY GETTING MARA-STRUCK WHENEVER UR MEMORIES OVERLOAD FROM LIVING TOO LONG AND GO: damn this was shit writing cause i didn't understa #IMMA AAAH #eternal wars where when u find peace after winning you DON'T BECAUSE YOU TURN MARA-STRUCK FROM THE AMOUNT OF TRAUMA U HAVE #when immorality isn't immortality in a sense u can't be killed but long lifespan but then u can't even live said long lifespan #because u get mara-struck from participating in wars to protect AND YA'LL COME OVER HERE AND SAY BAD WRITING?! #and don't come with what the fuck is phantylia doing #ion think u understand how fucked we would've been if phantylia managed to actually absorb that ambrosial arbor AS A GODDAMN EMANATOR #OF DESTRUCTION OF ALL THINGS?! YA'LL WANT INFINITE HEALING WHILE GETTING BLASED OR SMTH!?! #and the aftermath which was probs the most hated on #imma just. #imma shut up LMFAO

[coockie8]

i once had an anti tell me to stop sexualizing their trauma on a story i wrote that was a word for word retelling of my own actual trauma but with names changed and its been 2 years and i still cant stop thinking about that

Ah, yeah... Unfortunately a non-insignificant number of antishippers seem to genuinely believe they own the concept of trauma, so any story they read that they believe to be portrayed in a romanticized or sexualized light therefore must be romanticizing/sexualizing their trauma specifically.

I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've gotten the "stop sexualizing my trauma!!!!!!" or adjacent comments from antishippers that universally garner a response that basically boils down to

Like, bitch! I'm talking about my trauma! I literally did not even know you existed until you fucking commented!

#proship #proshipper #anti bs #just anti things #glad to know antis assuming every story about trauma must be about them specifically seems to be a universal proshipper experience lol #like *how* am I sexualizing *your* trauma when I literally do not even know who you are? #like if you hadn't commented I would've gone my entire life not knowing you even exist #if I had omnipotence like that I certainly would not be using that power to sexualize the trauma of some random fucking stranger! lol #you think my petty ass would be doing *that* instead of the infinitely more infuriating thing of spoiling every show you love at any chance #jokes aside though like seriously get fucking real #I hate to burst your main character syndrome bubble but nobody fucking cares about you #not in the ''nobody loves you and you'll die alone'' sense #but in the ''you are just Some Guy™ and the 8 billion other people on the planet have their own problems to worry about'' sense #if someone is writing about trauma maybe take your self-centred goggles off for 5 fucking seconds #and maybe you'll realise that it is 1000000% more likely this random stranger is writing about *their* trauma #and *not* the trauma of a person whose entire existence they are not even aware of #I do believe the tiktok trend of referring to strangers as ''NPCs'' has at least contributed to this epidemic of main character syndrome #people you don't know are *not* ''NPCs'' you fucking robot! #they are human beings just like you with lives and dreams and loved ones #you just don't know them #sorry but I genuinely think I'd go to jail for murder if I ever heard someone refer to me as an ''NPC'' out in public #'cause genuinely who the fuck do you think you are!?

[mollypaup]

insane to watch rgu and come to the conclusion that the boys/men in that show are just evil btw. your bioessentialism is showing and it's embarrassing :/

#do i think akio is an irredeemable bastard and a shitstain on existence? #yes. #am i also distinctly and keenly aware of how the patriarchy pushed and encouraged him into becoming the awful person he is now? #also yes #literally under the threat of violence from an infinite number of swords he was pushed to this point. i cannot fault him his fear. #but I also think that the things he's done go so far past the realm of reasonable action into deliberate harm for personal gain #that he can never escape the system #he's a part of it now in a deeper way #rgu #anyway. thinking about tougas cactus flower forever and always.

[decamarks]

The fake game anomalies post is amazing, how did you get the videos to look so convincing as working video games?

AHHH thank you so much!!! ^u^ I think a lot of it comes down to just knowing and keeping the way video games work in mind while animating, as well as being aware of what limitations the 'game' would have.

The games in my post were meant to resemble games with graphics somewhere between the PSX and original Xbox (Playstation 1.5, essentially), so I tried to keep poly counts close to what you'd expect for something of that era, used subdivision sparingly, and composited them with varying levels of pixelation effects to resemble game engine aliasing. Since these nonexistent games are for nonexistent consoles, I didn't try to adhere to what the actual technology would/wouldn't allow, and instead focused on what you might expect to see. Game-like lighting in particular is tricky to nail down and I definitely could've made it more 'accurate' with further adjustments, but overall I thought it was okay. As long as you think it looks visually appealing, I think it's fine. (Also it's kind of hard to be accurate to something that doesn't actually exist, LOL)

That's more about the technical side though, and like I said, you can fudge a lot of that stuff since, y'know—it's not an actual game. I think what really makes something like this more convincing is simply conveying aspects of how the game is played or being played; stuff like seemingly functional UI elements, or a player's actions appearing to influence the game in some way.

Interactivity is what distinguishes games as a medium, so this is the key component to keep in mind. Most media doesn't tend to involve active influence from its observers because the medium simply can't accommodate such a thing; printed ink and paper isn't as infinitely malleable as pixels and bytes. So things should be designed as if they are able to be altered or interacted with, even if an actual 'player' is absent. You don't need to build the engine—you just need to imply that it exists, and operates.

In my little clips, I tried to pay special attention to the supposed 'player' as well. You can't see them directly, but rather through proxy of the character or cursor they're controlling. In the first clip, the player character quickly stutters in movement, shown as a sudden stop and start in their walk cycle. You would never have a character move like this in a normal animation because it's unnatural and nonsensical on its own. But in the context of a video game, this movement is instantly recognizable. The player is pausing, tilting, and flicking the analog stick to get a better look at something—or to get away from it.

The character isn't programmed to stop and squint, and the camera isn't programmed to cut to a shot of their shocked face. The character is only a puppet for the player to interface with the game's world, and the unpredictability of a player cannot be accounted for in a preprogrammed narrative. These movements appear nonsensical and unnatural because they represent something not entirely intended. This is only one manifestation of the infinite movement possibilities within a game engine.

It's something trying to be expressed by someone that does not have the direct means to do so. But even indirectly, you can tell what is being expressed, because nothing would move like this by itself. It implies the existence of certain things beyond what is directly observable: a controller and constraints—the player, and the programming.

I think the moment you assume a player exists is the moment it becomes a game.

#tl;dr: i think way too much about this kind of thing and you can probably ignore like half of this post. #I COULD GO ON ABOUT THIS LITERALLY FOREVER. the nuances of games as a medium are so near and dear to me and infinitely fascinating. AAGHHHH #it's honestly interesting to me that a lot of people actually found these convincing... #half because i wasn't entirely intending for them to be convincing; half because i could point out at least 100 inconsistencies in each LOL #but i guess those inconsistencies become a lot more apparent when you're the one who's creating them... such an interesting thing

[piplupod]

i hate how writers rarely ever actually say what the plant was supposed to be used FOR, they often just say "it was used in magical rites and folk medicine" or "this was a plant often used for traditional medicines" BUT WHAT WERE THEY USED FOR !!!

#like what were they thinking the plant was going to actually do !!! #''medicine'' and ''magical rites'' could mean literally anything #theres practically an infinite amount of things a plant could be believed to do #i want to KNOW about it !!! don't just give me some vague non-answer answer >:[ #that is neither good research nor good writing on their part grrrr #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[peribirb]

sick to bastard death of myself if I'm being honest

#sick of the shit my brain latches onto and obsesses over #sick of the pit of guilt i feel for even thinking about these things in the first place #sick of feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything #sick of feeling like I'm fundamentally not enough and not present enough in my own life to even entertain being in others lives #sick of being so directionless and having nothing to drive me #and frankly I'm sick of wanting to be dead #i wish literally anything felt worth fighting for #oh also sick of this Brain Disease that literally just exists to make all of these emotions infinitely worse. love that thanks #vent #delete later #it's been a Bad Night #i keep doing the “alone on a Friday night god you're pathetic” thing to myself but unironically #hope i can get some sleep i guess

[bumblingbabooshka]

Having Nonbinary Sapphic Tuvok Brainrot Lately…

You're the realest motherfucker on planet Earth and I hope you know that.

Here's a bunch of bullshit I doodled on the topic of Nonbinary Sapphic Tuvok !!!! And I HOPE you will share YOUR personal brainrot with the class (my ask box, the masses, a text post....whatever gets the word out.) If you've been paying attention you KNOW I love a 'Tuvok discovers he's trans while in the delta quadrant' story Guy who likes girls and has always liked girls...but....not in the same way OTHER guys seem to like girls... Tuvok who never quite fit in with 'other' men even Vulcan men...always preferred spending time with women and girls but never felt precisely LIKE a woman or OVERLY uncomfortable with being identified as a man and Vulcan society doesn't seem like it would be heavily gendered so he never really questioned it seriously. Tuvok who found comfort in titles like Husband and Father...those fit, those are good. Then in the delta quadrant he isn't able to be a husband or a father any more and is just some guy surrounded by humans...hmmmmmm....

Still doesn't really seriously think it's worth questioning or exploring his gender identity (partially out of a desire to return home as he left...what will his wife and children think? He's experienced a LOT of sudden change in regards to his personal identity and life, he doesn't really want to undergo more.) until Seven of Nine comes along and also begins to go through a "Questioning Her Gender" arc. Tuvok thinks about it on his own time for a long time and then finally goes to Janeway for support and assistance and together they spend like SEVERAL months just the two of them seeing what this whole gender thing's about. Tuvok slowly exploring expressing himself in a more feminine manner because he's spent his whole life adhering rigidly to one sort of Look. Unexpectedly struggles with anxiety about this. Neelix: Don't be nervous Ms. Vulcan! Tuvok: [nervous] I am not nervous. Tuvok and Seven BOTH exploring masculinity/femininity and their own nonbinary gender identities...late night slumber par- experimentation. Painting each others nails is...very scientific. It's important. Talking with Janeway was good because she's his friend but talking with Seven, another person actively questioning their gender is....well, it's something else.

#Tom: Tuvok? #Tuvok: [towering over him in Seven's heels] Yes Mr. Paris? #Tom: I'm gonna kill you. #anon I hope you know I was in the middle of a completely different drawing and IMMEDIATELY stopped it to answer this #some people wait literally weeks for me to re ply to their things but sapphic nonbinary tuvok??? he gets top billing #Tuvok is SO gender he's EVERY gender and Ilove him for it #Tuvok is a trans man a trans woman nonbinary genderfluid a secret thing etc etc etc infinitely #T'Pel finally sees Tuvok again says 'you've changed' and he stiffens and goes 'yes...' #then she extends her hand out towards him and they kiss. 'yet this remains the same' she says/assures him #st voyager #Q&A #trans Tuvok #your commanding officer shows up out of nowhere one day with a beautiful bust and no comment on said bust wdyd #love thinking about nonbinary tuvok...not only nonbinary but also an alien who doesn't have the same concepts/ingrained markers of gender #Also sorry let's make this about something SO specific to me for a second but one of my personal little fantasies is #trans femme Tuvok/Neelix and man...I don't...even know if I can really explain it #something about Neelix makes me think he'd be like 'That's no way to speak around a lady!!' (scolding The Boyztm) and Tuvok would sigh #or whatever but internally she'd be charmed....she be faking like she don't have a crush but she does....she likeshiiim.... #SORRY. AS IF IT'S MY FAULT????? #anyway....I hope this was.........any thing. I hope this was literally ANYTHING. #anon #bee doodles #oh another is trans femme Tuvok x Janeway but that's mostly onesided angst on Janeway's part (delicious)

[queenangst]

let’s call my mom, they say. it’ll be fun, they say.

“the boy who was not supposed to tell a lie brings the sword of truth down on the strings” is going to take permanent residence in my brain matter with all of its poetry.

fuckin’ hell, mulligan. this is exu: calamity all over again.

the nat20 for that move was incredible. the dice tell the story. holy shit that line was so good

i was absolutely terrified to my core that lou really had rolled double nat 1s, right after stepmother said "you've OUTLIVED your use" i was convinced for like 30 seconds that pinocchio was going to be completely gone

i'm still reeling. i don't usually go in the dropout discord but i RAN there we're all just yelling together my brain is buzzing

the whiplash between a fun battle aftermath episode up to the tonal shift once the two twig figures showed up and meant to kill tim like. after that. i knew we were just ROCKETING downhill

HOW am i supposed to sleep tonight brennan. how. how absolutely horrifying 100/10

#emily going from 0 to 3 of the red blood gem things though #everything. whathasfbhfbhsfabhfs #i said this in the discord but #i CANT stop thinking about stepmother devouring grandmother snorgelsson as saturn devouring his son #SPIDERS DIDNT EVEN COME CLOSE. THIS 15 MIN WAS INFINITELY MORE HORRIFYING THAN THE ENTIRE BATTLE EPISODE #asks #d20 #d20 spoilers #neverafter #d20 neverafter #neverafter spoilers #neverafter e7 #i literally rewatched the last part and transcribed all my fave descriptions

[quintsmachete]

what in the goddamn

#sorry i don’t usually post dumb takes i see but this one left me speechless #if you knew that you could never die you would not appreciate the things in life the same way #‘i’ll never get tired of having only good times 🤪’ and how would you know you’re having good times if you’ve never had bad? #what frame of reference is there? how would you know the meaning of non-suffering if you don’t have suffering to compare it to? #light does not exist without dark and vice versa #infinite good times do not exist you would just be existing neutral. the addition of a ‘good’ signifier implies that you have something - #to compare it to #another scenario: let’s say you’ve suffered before and magically are only able to have ‘good times’ for the rest of ur life #you would go insane. #and is it only you in this scenario? because then you wouldn’t feel grief or sadness when your loved ones die #the hurting of others would not enrage you #you would lose everyone around you because you could sympathize with no one and then not feel anything when you lose them #i genuinely can’t wrap my head around the idea that thinking death gives life meaning is ‘cope’ #coping with what exactly. #the fact that everything dies at some point? #op kept arguing in the notes about how immortals would have a different perspective and frame of morals #which is just like. why are you arguing and trying to bring yourself to an immortal person’s state of mind when you know being immortal - #will literally never be achievable? this is not putting yourself in the shoes of the first person to walk on mars someday. this is - #putting yourself in the shoes of idk. a god or something #immortality will never happen why are you trying to reach the hypothetical immortality mindset #sounds like you’re the one coping with the fact that you’ll die someday #beep beep ritchie

[awek-s]

.

#man it’s just so dire #like watching people pretend to care about the groups of ppl that idols hurt with their behaviour when ultimately they just come on anon and #use them as gotchas in a manipulation tactic to make others question being upset in the first place #idk why y’all don’t care about children and abuse victims and everyone else #but this is the same website where people would use my gifs of these same idols in similar fics as that manga. so my expectations are low #I just think it’s disgusting that instead of thinking about it to yourself if you’re still on the fence #you’re sending anon messages to people who might be taking it harder for personal reasons #and try to straight up justify why it’s ok for people to be ok w that kind of content #so naturally these things gradually become more and more about how fandom shapes a situation into something a million times worse too #y’all make it worse. all the time. in your quest to white knight your meow meows you literally make everything infinitely worse #mrow.org

[shrimp1y]

I want to open my mouth about gojo so bad. I want to talk about stupid scifi physics and math. i need someone validate me about the hc that prison realm is basically shrodingers box but instead of a cat its gojo

#gojo satoru #jjk #satoru gojo #touching grass #clearly nobody had thought about the fucked up fact that time not passing in the cube is basically the same thing as infinite time #because time was literally invented by human people to talk about how our body and surrounding changes relative to it #and if time is not passing for gojo it means he doesnt have to pee or breathe or anything. his heart would literally be stopped mid beat #the dude isnt breathin in there either. if you are breathing thats time happening to you #as bestie would say krill my dear shrimp gege didn't think that hard about it #there's no atmosphere in the prison realm. there's nothing. time and space is what makes up our reality if there's no time #gojo would have to be All Thoughts He could Ever have at once #because if he starts counting and keeping track of the number. that's time passing. he has nothing to anchor his consciousness to #do you understand how fucked up is as a sentence esp the fact that gojo isn't Paused. he is still Thinking #like if he was Paused then yeah that's time stopping because WE made TIME up. but if he could perceive that time isn't passing what the #fuck does that mean. #'so where does shrodingers box come into play silly shrimp' well. heh. superposition #gojo is in a state where he is both dead and alive in that box. and like if all versions of his consciousness exists at the same time he'd #to be fair that's not really how shrodingers box and superposition works but it sounds cool doesn't it. anyways. if he comes out of that #box perfectly intact without any repercussions i call that bs #gege u mentioned time being subjective when u said one minute in gojos mind is mere seconds. what the fuck would timelessness in gojos mind #be. its literally eternity. do you know how terrible solitary confinement is for a person and we are not mentioning complete #sensory deprivation #WHAT DOES #TIME DOESNT PASS MEAN #then again i tried to think of curse energy and reverse curse technique as entropy and reverse entropy so yeah #and entropy is also basically. intrinsically related to time #im so fucked in the head

[iheartmyipod]

dont understandhow people are able to get into 50000 things at once.my brain can only think of one single thing for 7-13 months and then i get so sad because it becomes like hot cheetos that you eat every day and its gross and weird now.....(dont eat exclusively hot cheetos for months btw.yu will never know peace in your.organs.) and then and only then does my brain decide to latch onto something else and the cycle continues...what will be my next victim...

#the last process was sonic > original characters who were largely made so i could stop messing up sonic in my head. it worked btw #dont know if i used the words process or largely correctly.<failing high school english #and with ocs its like am i ever going to escape this. there are infinite possibilities how will i ever get bored. they are my everythings #anyway this post is about how badly i want to get into splatoon and my little pony and kingdom hearts and a billion other things... bleh #i love mlp but lately i have such a hard time finishing shows for some reason #when i got into sonic i spent literally all my free time watching 7+ hour long videos of gameplay cus i couldnt play the games #myself . and now i cant even sit still long enough to watch 10 minute videos i think i need stim toys or something #the only times i really sit still and watch something is when i am snacking .... but even then sometimes i cant because my chewing is too lo #ud to hear wats going on LOL #the stars need to align perfectly for me to do anything ever at all. the only thing i like spending hours on is figuring out ipod stuff #IPOD STUFF IS SO FUN THO CUS IT REQUIRES ME TO GO ALL OVER THE PLACE TO UNDERSTAND WAT TO DO. I LOVE IPOD #other then that i spend my days playing solitaire and listening to emo music... sigh. I NEED FRIENDS. #hi tumblr btw hiiiiiiii

[maryam0revna]

okay people talk about “religious trauma”, but only recently did I find out that, as a child, one of my best friends used to wake up before anyone else in the house and panic because she was so convinced that everyone she loved had been raptured.

that she still sometimes feels irrationally afraid, almost thirty years later, and has to remind herself that surely a mass disappearance would make the news.

that this isn’t remotely uncommon.

that my boyfriend, who was raised in a very different denomination, used to have the same fears, as well as at least one of my coworkers.

people talk about religious trauma in a lot of ways, and I always associated it with purity culture, bigotry, and oppression. but these raw, granular little moments, where a 6 year-old version of my friend is gripped with terror because the house is too quiet, everyone she loves must have been taken away, and she must have been the only one that was Unworthy...it’s just so much more fucked up than I ever realized.

#actual blog post on this webbed site? insane #but it's just NUTS #the number of conversations we've had about her old denomination where i've just said 'people really believe that? like for real?' on a loop #and I say this as a Person Of Faith or whatever #i mean I'm episcopalian which is like if you mixed catholicism and unitarian universalism into one very liberal and contradictory thing #where the aesthetics are Traditional and the priests are Lesbians #(and all other flavors of LGBTQ+) #so obviously it's different #it's just insane that this is a real thing that happens in so so so many faith communities and people just. literally scar their children #with these batshit apocalyptic theological wanks that are nothing but Bad Theology tbh #don't get me started on the 'End Times Theology just absolves people of being good christians' rant #(and also fetishizes the Victorious Christ image over the Victim Christ (which is infinitely more relevant and demanding of empathy)) #(which is why it makes Americans uncomfy-- we don't like losers after all) #(and empathy? don't know her) #okay i'm Getting Started so I won't but !!!!!!!!!!!!! #i'm just glad my friend is happy after converting to catholicism and my boyfriend and coworker are happily atheist/agnostic #my hot take is that I think God would rather they be happy and doing good stuff in the world instead of miserable on-paper christians idk #okay im done now but YIKES

[twilightarcade]

liar. go sleepy

Im Quite Busy though

#askstag #I do have a headache now though. You're also supposed to go sleepy now. #but there's so many things to do and think about but there's never enough time to do any of it #do you ever think about that #I think a tag is missing here. Smthn about books. #like there might as well be an infinite because new ones are constantly getting written and I'll never read them all. #and that's just books. What about the other art forms? Shows drawings songs movies games etc #I'll never get through them all. Do you think about that at all. Much less will I ever get a chance to /think/ about them all #which is especially terrible #there are so many things to think about did you know #infinite experience and nuance to pick apart with a microscope yet we can't #not in our lifetimes #and there's literally birds outside. So many birds outside. Never going to see absolutely every species them though. Much less the individu #individuality of every bird. do you ever think about that. There are so many things and I just get to have an insignificant little peak at #who cares if that logic makes me insignificant #it doesn't #it places value on all the little individual things #there's what. 8 billion people on this space rock. With interesting lives #yeah no one will say their life is interesting like oh no I'm not interesting I just work as a waiter NO YOU ARE INTERESTING SHUT UP #then there's all the people not on the space rock who also led lives. #stuff is so inherently interesting I should get more time to look at stories and birds and people for free #unfortunately I need to like. Do that life thing. What the hell.