#V: Sometimes we forget that all that matters is people [Canon Divergency and AU]

[crowsandmurder]

Mark Sloan Tags and Verses

Mark  ✖ (Aesthetics)

Mark ✖ (Thoughts)

Mark ✖ (Character Development)

Mark  ✖ (Crack)

Mark ✖ (Headcanons)

Mark  ✖ (Photos)

Mark  ✖ (Starter Call)

BIOGRAPHY

Mark was born to upper-class, but emotionally distant parents in New York City. While working on a case involving a man's sleepwalking and his daughter's subsequent insomnia, Mark revealed that his own parents would often go out at night, leaving him to care for himself. As a result, he would turn on all the TVs and every light in the house, even those in the closets, but still couldn't sleep.

Later, he revealed that he and Derek Shepherd were childhood friends and when Derek's mother, Carolyn, saw how lonely he was, she encouraged Derek to bring him home. This led Mark to develop a family relationship with the Shepherds, and become like a brother to Derek. When Derek's mother visited, she revealed that a 10-year-old Mark once put Derek's favorite frog into the microwave, to which Mark replied that he never pressed start.

Professionally, Mark was regarded as a very successful and renowned surgeon and one of New York's finest plastic surgeons. Alex Karev referred to him as the "go-to-guy" for plastics on the East Coast, and Richard Webber proposed that the addition of Mark to Seattle Grace's plastics program would double the revenue of other departments. He is skilled at delicate and complex reconstructive procedures, but also performs cosmetic procedures. Of his personal philosophy, he says: "People don't come to me to fix what's on the outside. They come to me to fix what's on the inside."

Shortly before Derek's move to Seattle, Mark and Addison were caught having sex in Derek's bedroom. According to Mark, Derek merely walked out, packed his things, and left. Derek later learned that they continued to see each other after he left. Part of the reason Mark moved to Seattle was to try to continue his relationship with Addison. Addison gave him an ultimatum: If he could go sixty days without sleeping with anyone else, she would consider dating him. However, when Mark saw Addison and Alex Karev coming out of an on-call room together, he realized that they had had sex, and lied to Addison that he had slept with someone to break the 60-day contract. He never revealed to Addison that he caught her.

Shortly after arriving at Seattle Grace, Derek punched him, it is later revealed, while Meredith is cleaning his facial wound, that it was due to his even stronger feelings for Meredith rather than Addison. Meredith and Mark only spoke to each other and Mark got punched, Mark and Addison had sex and Derek simply walked away and did not look back. Mark slept with Addison again before he intended to leave, but he stayed and became the Head of Plastic Surgery.

Mark was in the running for Chief of Surgery, along with Derek, Burke, and Addison. He got a idea from Bailey mentioning the hospital needs a "right now" plan, not a ten-year plan. Richard Webber told the other 3 that the board was eating up the "right now" plan, and suggested that they should do the same.

Mark had a sexual relationship with Callie Torres. Mark started flirting with Erica Hahn, which she rejected. Mark suggested having a threesome between him, Callie, and Erica. Erica said he would be intimidated by her and Callie's relationship, and kissed Callie before stepping off the elevator.

Mark and Lexie Grey started their relationship off with Lexie going to his apartment, taking off her clothes and telling him to "teach her." They then had sex. After that, Mark wanted to resist Lexie because of his promise to Derek but it proved futile. He and Callie tried to make a pact to not sleep with the hot surgical interns, but it falls through. At the end of the day Callie and Mark are side by side at the bar at Joe's. Mark has reservations about Lexie's relative age and inexperience, but more so about breaking his promise to Derek. Especially when Derek is gearing up to propose to Meredith; Mark questions maybe breaking up with Lexie because he can't sleep with any more of Derek's sisters.

When Mark fractures his penis during sex, Lexie comforts him in the aftermath. Mark is initially humiliated and asks Lexie to leave, but after surgery they cuddle. Lexie confronts Mark about keeping their relationship a secret. She's tired of lying to the people close to her and says they need to go public. 

During the hospital shooting, Mark and Lexie were at the nurses' station, where shots were fired by Gary Clark. Mark ran Lexie to the elevator, which had an unconscious and bloody Alex Karev in it. They brought Alex to a conference room, where they treated him until the SWAT team evacuated them.

Shortly after Arizona moved to Africa, Callie started sleeping with Mark. Callie got pregnant with Mark's baby and Mark decided he wanted to be part of this baby's life, because he didn't have the chance with his other daughter, Sloan. When Arizona came back to Seattle Grace Mercy West, she and Callie got into a car accident. Callie was badly injured. She had to have an emergency c-section at 23 weeks. She gave birth to a premature baby and named her Sofia. Sofia and Callie both survived. Mark helped raise Sofia with Callie and Arizona until his death.

In 2012, while traveling to Boise, Idaho to perform a separation surgery of conjoined twins, Mark was in a plane crash. He, along with Meredith, Lexie, Cristina, Arizona, and Derek became stranded in the woods. Mark seemed to have escaped with only minor injuries at first, though after the death of Lexie, he became unresponsive. Cristina examined his chest to find major bruising. Cristina realized that he had a cardiac tamponade, fluid surrounding his heart. Meredith used a tube from a bottle that Derek and Cristina found to drain the fluid. Cristina, Meredith, and Derek were able to get Mark to the front of the plane where Arizona and the pilot were. Mark woke up and told Arizona that Lexie was dead, and that she was waiting for him. Mark tried to tell Arizona he would be okay when he died, but she told him that she, Sofia, and Callie were waiting for him, too.

Mark was airlifted to Idaho, then sedated and moved to Seattle Grace Mercy West. He spent two months declining until he woke up briefly. After that day, he fell into a coma. After thirty days, they turned the life support machines off and Derek and Callie sat with him while he died.

His actual canon bio: HERE, which has more details.

VERSES:

V: Wealthy but broken [New York Years]

Mark was born wealthy, but neglected by his parents. He became an honorary Shepherd. He, Derek and Addison were best friends, until Mark slept with Addision and Derek left them all..

V: McSteamy: I'm Self Destructive And Self-Loathing To An Almost Pathological Degree [Life in Seattle]

Mark Sloan spent years at Seattle Grace, the best plastic surgeon out there. But, he didn't commit to women easily. That didn't mean he didn't sleep with them though, a lot. He can be hard to crack, but when he cares about people in his life, he lets them in. He's still arrogant though.

V: Sometimes we forget that all that matters is people [Canon Divergency and AU]

Canon isn't always what works best. Sometimes, AU can be good, as well as divergency from canon.

Faceclaim(s): Eric Dane

#Mark ✖ (Aesthetics) #Mark ✖ (Thoughts) #Mark ✖ (Character Development) #Mark ✖ (Crack) #Mark ✖ (Headcanons) #Mark ✖ (Photos) #Mark ✖ (Starter Call) #✖ [Character: Mark Sloan] #V: Wealthy but broken [New York Years] #V: McSteamy: I'm Self Destructive And Self-Loathing To An Almost Pathological Degree [Life in Seattle] #V: Sometimes we forget that all that matters is people [Canon Divergency and AU]

[cyrelia-j]

[Fic] Inside a Dream V (Garak/Bashir)

Also sorta background Kelim sorta not (it'll make more sense once you read)

Past Parts are here:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Still AU but not really an AU set at the end of everything show/books. This is inspired by book stuff but definitely diverges from book canon. ANGST, Drama, Romance, falling in love [again maybe] and bittersweetness with much tragedy to be had, (No one's gonna die, promise :))

After Sarina’s death and Julian’s coma, Julian dreams. With the aid of a device provided by the other augments, Garak is able to bring that world to life. And then Jack shows up in the flesh, wanting “his” Julian back. Garak is forced to confront the truths he didn’t want to face and decide if he’s going to fight for him. But that isn't his only difficulty decision, and he's not the only one at stake.

Pairings: Mainly garashir but also incredibly tragic background/past/sorta not Garak/Parmak and past Jack/Julian (really jack pack/Julian). Garashir is the intended end game but depending on response may have room for Parmak

(We stand, we stand, we can't stand to fall down)

Here comes another

(We stand, we stand, we can't stand to fall down)

It pulls me under

Reality breaks. That’s the only way that Julian knows how to describe it. He thinks of becoming unstuck in time like Billy Pilgrim and wonders if that’s what it feels like. He doesn’t remember if Billy had cracked his head open either. Julian doesn’t know if that’s a normal side effect but for a moment the walls of his new apartment - well new to him rather, not so much new themselves - crack open and he can see out to the endless night sky as if he were up there in the thick of it and not down on Earth. It doesn’t last and he almost thinks that it was just an odd mote in his eye or an aberration that he only thought he saw. But then it happens again as he’s riding the elevator back down to the first floor. The walls turn gray like metal surrounding him, the lights dim and he hears the word turbolift echo perfectly supplied in his mind before the doors open and he’s once more in the lobby with the mildewy carpet and the candy dish that never seems to lose or gain those wrapped hard strawberry things.

He tells Doctor Parmak about these episodes and is relieved to hear that it’s normal. Doctor Parmak is still a lizard seated across from him with a notepad and a pair of large silver framed spectacles that seem to forever slip on his nose. He sits with a hunch and has long white hair that he wears loosely braided. He dresses strangely too, always wearing some earthy colored tunic, loose pants, and sandals looking rather like some ancient hippy lizard guru from the seventies. Julian still doesn’t ever remember there being lizard men like this but every week Doctor Parmak sits across from him gently asking questions and solicitously taking notes. Julian asked him once if he’d fought in the war or if he’d gone to Canada back then. There was a confused look to this the first time he asked, but the following week Doctor Parmak assured him that he’d gone to Canada and had never seen combat.

Garak had stopped coming to see him.

Or rather he hadn’t seen Garak in a week or two and he was growing concerned. Stupid Julian, what do you think you were doing? You probably offended him. It wasn’t enough to apologize, you should’ve promised him that you’d never do that again. He’s gone all this time why would he ever want... anything like that from you? Doctor Parmak had assured him that “Elim” - Julian didn’t understand the word but somehow he knew it related to Garak -  would surely come back and likely had important emergency business to attend to or some fires to put out. Julian wondered if it might not be a sale or an illness but Julian was sure that he’d never see him again. He was sure that he’d be gone to the darkness and... and that was another thought that he didn’t understand. He wasn’t lost. He thought he was finding his way. He’d met a lot of lovely people at his work and he’d had some more pocket money to take the bus to a few more places, look around old monuments and... and dream.  

His dreams came so much more vividly now. It scared him. He was certain that the reason Garak had gone was his unwanted advance. But in spite of his resolutions to swallow it back and forget about it the more he tries the more he dreams about him. it isn’t clear. It’s as if he’s never known his body intimately but spent a lifetime dreaming alive the feel of his rippling scales beneath his fingers. It’s like he’s spent night after night his enhanced (Enhanced? What does that mean?) senses making some fantastic imaginary map marrying a real scent to an illusory one, a touch of hands, a brush of lips. Sometimes Julian sees a yellow landscape, a desert world with a red dying sun and he sees Garak looking at him from a distance that he can never cross with Doctor Parmak standing there, both looking down at him. He doesn’t understand why he sees Doctor Parmak in these dreams. He asks in his session today if they may be symbolic of something and he watches Doctor Parmak hesitate.

“Doctor?” Julian asks softly. He’s sitting on the couch  right leg pulled under him with his red converse and jeans that he’s come to wear more frequently. The shoes have an interesting feel to them that he likes. Today he’s wearing a hoodie that’s baggie and comfortable. It feels familiar somehow and he likes playing with the drawstrings.

“Hmm?” Doctor Parmak looks up from his notes and there’s a tilt to his head that’s achingly familiar. Doctor Parmak doesn’t sit quite as comfortably as Julian, a slight stoop that Julian can see is from a spine curvature, a slight bulge at the top vertebrae. It’s never appeared to pain him and it doesn’t now, but now as always, he shifts on the big leather chair like it’s his first time sitting in it. Julian scratches at his face, feeling the stubble. He should shave. It’s how he knows you best, comes the unbidden thought intruding on him again.

“I don’t understand what he sees in you,” Julian says out of the blue though that wasn’t at all what he meant to say. Just like the near kiss, it’s some unconscious action that he doesn’t seem to have any control over. “I’m sorry I don’t... I don’t know why I said that,” Julian rushes out, both feet on the floor. The question makes him anxious. “I was... I mean I wasn’t going to ask that I don’t-”

“Ask it,” Doctor Parmak says looking at him speculatively. “You should follow your thoughts. Mmm... it might be the sort of thing you need to seek your answers. The unconscious questions the... human subconscious is a fascinating thing and I would very much like to know what that question means, Julian Bashir.”

“I don’t know what the question means” is what Julian intends to say. That isn’t what he says. “You have every flaw that I have,” is what comes out instead and he... doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Doctor Parmak stops writing when he says that and looks at him with an expression that he can’t read. It’s not... it doesn’t seem to be a pleasant expression. Julian swallows and he ducks his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, these things aren’t... it’s like they’re coming from somewhere else and I don’t know what’s going on. Please forgive me. You know the problems with my head...”

“I’m aware of the situation,” Doctor Parmak replies in a level voice. He sets the notepad aside.

“Would it... be better to stop here?” Julian asks starting to rub at the back of his neck.

“I think that it would be best to follow these... thoughts to their natural conclusion.”

“But I don’t... do you... do you and Garak know each other? I... I don’t understand...”

“Continue please. We were ah... speaking of my flaws, I believe you said...” Julian doesn’t immediately answer. He’d like to collect his thoughts but these aren’t even thoughts. They’re words passing his lips from something... outside and he doesn’t have any control over them. Julian opens his mouth and closes it again. He doesn’t know what Doctor Parmak wants from him. “I...”

Julian falters but almost jumps when he feels his mouth moving again.

“You’re everything he said was wrong with me. You’re everything he said he could never be with.”

“Elim Garak?” Doctor Parmak asks softly, head ducked, pushing his glasses back up as he studies the floor. “Elim... said that to you?”

“You’re weak like I am...”

“I’m sorry, Julian. I’m nothing like you.”

“You’re soft like I am...”

“I’m sorry, perhaps you hadn’t heard me when I said-”  

“You don’t have enough blood on your hands.”

“You don’t know anything about me, Doctor Bashir.”

“You don’t walk in that darkness either... But you can be with him and I can’t...”

Julian stops shortly when he sees Doctor Parmak standing with a loud ugly laugh.

“I can’t...” Doctor Parmak laughs again, his shoulders shaking. “I’m sorry it’s just... Ah... I can picture the things you recall Elim saying and I can picture that face same as it is now and it’s... ah... Guls why are you such a child?” He asks his voice switching not from a laugh but to nearly a sob. “A child... a child who understand nothing if you think for a moment that Elim and I are... it’s... it’s just so... juvenile... so... the lurid... stupid... stupid things you must surely be imagining and I... ah hah... ah, Elim the messes you leave for me to clean up for you...”

“Doctor?”

“This petty child’s dream world...” he hears Doctor Parmak say with a tight voice. Doctor Parmak smiles at him wide, that expression stretched like it might shatter any moment. “Mmm... that’s alright though... You don’t understand of course and it’s... you’ll forgive me if I tell you that it’s a personal matter and Elim is certainly capable of handling his own affairs... So ah... how about I just... illustrate the difference between us with a question, rather....”

Julian watches Doctor Parmak and somehow hears him whisper under his breath “My dear friend Doctor Bashir, is that right?”. He’s sure he isn’t meant to hear that as Doctor Parmak picks at his face, pushes at his glasses, staring hard at the floor beneath the couch.

“You find Elim’s eyes beautiful, don’t you? Ah, I’m sure you could look in them forever. Get lost in them see...s-see a sea of blue,” a soft laugh there, “You dream of those eyes and it’s... it’s a comfort to you isn’t it, Doctor Bashir?” Julian nods slowly at the question before realizing that Doctor Parmak isn’t looking at him. He doesn’t understand why he feels so young again where he was so tired before. There’s something there, some lost compassion, some determination that wants to know just what the hell is going on outside- Outside? Outside of what? The doctor’s office? Who are you Kelas Parmak and what are you to Garak? Why are you so upset? What have I done to you?

“Of course it is,” Doctor Parmak says walking to the center of the room with that speculative tilt of his head returning, his arms out at his sides. “So then in fairness I’ll just say that when I dream of Elim’s eyes... when I dream of his touch...” He holds his arms at the elbows as if there’s a sudden chill in the air, as if just that memory that he describes is too much for him to handle. “...I wake up screaming. I can’t stop screaming… actually… shaking… vomiting… So you understand when I say that you are mistaken, that you are a fool, and you and I are nothing alike. Good day, Doctor Bashir. I’m afraid I’ll need to recommend that you see someone else but... I promise you that Elim will be back. Computer terminate session.”

And Julian watches as he blinks out of existence.

—

It’s Doctor Parmak who leaves Julian’s room that night to see Garak in the dark hall. Garak knows it’s Parmak tonight because the moment he sees him he averts his eyes. Sometimes, he’s Kelas. Others he’s Parmak; in front of others he’s always Parmak. He was Parmak earlier today as well, but that can change sometimes if Garak is especially fragile in mind. Still, it’s easier for him to go from Kelas to Parmak than the other way around. Usually it will be a sudden memory, a touch, a look, and that fear is in his eyes. it’s easy to tell because he flinches when Garak touches him and can’t look him in the eyes. Like now, he steps around him uneasily. Garak doesn’t dare come any closer.

“You’re going back in there, Elim. You’re going in there and you’re going to bring him back and whatever there is that needs to be worked out between the two of you it’s getting worked out. I’m sorry but I can’t be your intermediary any longer. What was it you said the last time? That you can’t do this anymore. I suppose that makes two of us then.”

“What did he say to you?” Garak asks carefully.

“Nothing that I hadn’t already suspected. Nothing that you’re not already well aware of. Mmm, circumspection is your preference and I should hate to create any unpleasantries with something as vulgar as open dialogue. Please don’t use my first name. I’m not... right tonight.”

“It isn’t necessary to phrase it so cruelly to yourself.”

“The truth is cruel, Elim. That’s why it terrifies you.”

“You know that I would comfort you if I was able to.”

Parmak walks past him slowly a foot and then stops with a hand on the wall leaning against it as if the wood can offer more support than Garak can. It can, which only makes Parmak’s words ring more true. The walls pain him less than Garak does in moments like these.

“I know, Elim. That’s why the truth is a cruel thing.” Garak watches him helplessly. Parmak has been his strength since returning. Parmak has been his light. Parmak has been his only comfort in the dark and bitter world. Parmak had said to him once that the ability to offer comfort, to calm, to heal was a far greater treasure than he would ever know but he didn’t imagine it was a sentiment that Garak would ever miss. He was wrong. Not being able to touch Parmak in moments like this is nearly as great as the torture Tain had inflicted on him to cause such a reaction in the first place.

Garak doesn’t ask him if there’s anything he can do. There’s nothing; literally nothing. The associations they had inserted into his mind, the pain, the agony at Garak’s touch, at his eyes, at his voice in those days prior to his interrogation… Garak should consider it a miracle that Parmak can speak to him at all. He imagines Tain laughing at him buried or better jettisoned into space, into that vacuum, into the nearest star.

“We haven’t found Jack yet,” Garak says softly, “I should set extra security at your quarters at the very least.”

“That won’t be necessary. When you bring Julian back he’ll be here.”

“To kill me,” Garak points out though his life is under constant threat as it stands so he supposes he can pencil Jack in between the woman who keeps writing him about the noise ordinances and the “overly loud Federation monitoring devices” that he needs to remove or face dire consequences and some old victim of his with a grudge so unremarkable that Garak refuses to allow his memory to hold the man’s name.

“We both know you won’t allow that.” It was unspoken but they both knew that Parmak wouldn’t allow it either. Parmak had always been the unnaturally loyal one.

Garak knows that it’s best to leave the silence. He knows that in the morning things will be less tense, less charged. He knows that it’s better for both of them to sleep. He also knows that Parmak has only stopped because walking is a pain and whatever happened in that room he’s barely holding it together. The greatest kindness that Garak could give him would be to absent himself so that Parmak could walk back to his room with the dignity of not falling apart in front of Garak. Kelas Parmak is a treasure that he doesn’t deserve. He doesn’t deserve what Garak says next either.

“The two of you are so very much alike, you know” he says stupidly out loud, perhaps age or sentiment making him slip so poorly.

“Bury me,” Parmak hisses with a turn so fast that Garak imagines that thick white braid smacking him in the face. Perhaps he’s tired, perhaps he merely finds the sight of Parmak angry to be unbearably hauntingly familiar. Regardless...

“He has that same fire, you know. That same defiant spirit.”

“If he had once, I assure you, Elim, you broke him of it the same as Tain had done to me. Congratulations, son of Tain, he would be quite pleased with you. He might even take you for another ride in the country were he still alive to bear witness to such a glorious triumph. Might I suggest a drink before bed to toast the God you held above everything else? Perhaps he might bless you with all that you deserve even from beyond. Ah... right, that was a touch unkind of me. Well, we’ve already established truth is unkind. I should call you Saint Elim then. For you are the kindest and most benevolent and like those canonized humans they deem saints also stupidly devoted to pigheaded ignorance and destroying anything that questions the unchallenged authority of their mad masters.”

Kelas is beautiful. Kelas, because in moments like this when his pale, blue violet eyes flash with that fury, when he looks at him refusing to forgive, refusing to hold back his anger it’s a truly stunning intimacy. Garak almost reaches out to him but such a thing would impossible tonight. Kelas - and for a moment it is Kelas - looks in his eyes almost daring him, that slight tremor as he does affirming that no, tonight would not be a good night for such things. Not that it ever is... ever will be. Garak does as Parmak suggests and says a prayer to Tain. He prays for him to return to the living for just long enough so that Garak can kill him. Parmak turns away from him again, that moment gone.

“Hold out your hand please. I’m sorry, I think it would make my skin crawl if I had to touch you so for all the things I’ve forgiven you in a lifetime Elim, I hope you’ll forgive me that.”Kelas says reaching into his pocket. Garak has to swallow at that because there isn’t enough penance in the universe that should ever allow Parmak to forgive him for what he allowed Tain to do to them.

“I’ll never forgive those unfortunate sandals you insist on wearing though,” Garak says, falling back to that practiced levity. He holds out his hand and Parmak drops the mobile holo emitter into it crisply.

“Jack had told me when we last spoke that Section 31 had let the system infect all of their brains, their neural networks with a series of nanomachines. They weren’t just meant to lay dormant and activate the killswitch. That complex network in all of their brains is the reason that we’re able to use the holoprojector that they’d given us to see Julian’s dreamworld and manifest it. That wasn’t the original intention of course.” Parmak stops, knowing that Garak will know exactly what the true implications are. Section 31 didn’t want such things for entertainment. They wanted them for compliance. If they could pull any one of the augments from their bodies into existence, they could torture them for hours,  for days, for years should they chose without damaging the body or the brain. The mind was another matter, but they could do anything they wanted with that sort of access. He recalls Jack speaking of the connection between the five augments and he can see those implications as well. Garak looks at it carefully. He doesn’t imagine that Jack would have given it freely.

“I stole it from him,” Parmak answers the unspoken question, an equally unspoken but no less understood “for you” hanging at the end of that sentence. “Do with it what you will. I’m not going back in there. That is perhaps... the one thing that I will not do for you... You understand... I trust...”

“If there is any trust you still hold in me, my dear.”

“I don’t trust that I’m particularly dear to you in that fashion when such things are impossible but...  Goodnight Elim. Maybe I’ll say a prayer to the slug slithering amongst the ancients that tomorrow I’ll wake up and be your Kelas again...”

“Before you replace me...” echoes in Garak’s head as if Parmak had spoken it out loud.

Garak stares at his retreating back the holo emitter in his hand squeezed as tightly as his eyes as turns the opposite way.

(We stand, we stand, we can't stand to fall down)

Here comes another

(We stand, we stand, we can't stand to fall down)

Don't pull me under

-Butterfly Boucher “It Pulls me Under”

(Part 6 is now HERE)

#star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #ds9 fanfic #post canon cardassia #Garak/Bashir #garashir #Julian Bashir #Elim Garak #Kelas Parmak #kelim #angst #fanfic #update #cyrelia-j

[lurkingxmurmur]

IN THIS PAGE YOU CAN FIND:

-SHORT VERSION OF HER BACKSTORY (read this or the long one) -NOTES (read regardless) -LONG VERSION OF HER BACKSTORY (read this or the short one) -OTHER AU/CANON DIVERGENT VERSES (optional but suggested, includes one where she’s recognized by her father)

short version of her backstory, the ‘historical part of it’ that can adapt to non fantasy fandoms too, for people who don’t care much about details even with ocs (v. slandered singer):

-Lorelei is born out of wedlock in Germany in the late 1600, a shameful condition at the time. Her rich and powerful grandmother, the countess Lorelei the First, takes her in to raise her with love back in London, trying to have society accept her with her influence and not being as helpful with her daughter Lydia who wants little to do with her child. -Lorelei has an incredible singing voice and catches more than a man’s eye. She starts turning into a very famous singer in England and nearby countries and hopes she may be accepted after all, have a ‘lady’s life.  -A man who was courting her (Edward) rejected by her grandmother for being too fickly gets revenge by asking for a goodbye kiss when she thinks they are alone and making it seem as if Lorelei is as ‘loose’ as her mother and has been trying to seduce him. Rumors fly, suddenly plenty fake lovers pop up. Her reputation is ruined but Lorelei doesn’t give up on her singing career and wants to travel and start over again. She still wants acceptance and love. Society only wants her voice and to talk behind her back. She also takes some time off to take care of her dying grandmother, knowing she’ll be without a home later on, her mother has married but will never want her around. Then she goes back to look for a home that will accept her (and also hopefully a husband so she can inherit what her grandmother wanted her to have). -By 28 she’s back in Germany, and there is a cliff where she likes to go sing by herself, to train before her performances. Another man (duke Russel) wants to marry her, a bad man who, when rejected by her out of pride, after he made clear he was doing her a big favor by taking her even if old and ruined, reacts with fury and pushes her off the cliff after attacking her. She lives.    -If you don’t want to write a magical version of her being rescued from death, it takes her years to recover, a lot of strength, and she’s in her early/mid-thirty in threads, still a singer after her "mysterious disappearance", scars hidden but limping and having nearly fully given up on being cared for, still behaving how she finds proper but even more outspoken.  (v. fallen and risen again) The fantasy part of her backstory (v. cursed siren) :

-Sea goddess Calypso temporarily trapped in human form can only save her by cursing her: she has extra strength but loses her beauty when she uses it; she keeps her voice, now magical and able to draw man to her. Lorelei is able to tell which men are likely to hurt women because denied and can kill them. The curse can only be broken if Lorelei is accepted and loved despite what she is now (not necessarily romantically), or if the man who attacked her is killed before he reaches the natural end of his life. Ordinary weapons are too weak to hurt her, magical ones can. 

Notes to read regardless of what backstory you pick:

-the man who pushed her off the cliff is Duke Russel of Isla Fuego. 

-even as a ‘siren’, Lorelei doesn’t enjoy hurting men but wants to protect other women from the bad ones. She not a mindless monster, people can speak to her and even find shelter if not afraid of the way she sometimes chooses to look like. She's not immortal, she can age (slowly) and can die from that or magical weapons (ordinary ones are too weak). When she’s not ‘wearing’ her monster face and she looks like her human self she’s vulnerable to regular weapons too - she can save herself by turning into a monster again but she will feel the pain and be slower/weaker.

-she’s not submissive, she will speak her mind as a human too (within reason if still a little too boldly), what’s the point of holding it back? but blushes easily, the poor woman only ever had one kiss despite what her reputation says, but she’d also get reasonably scared when in danger and do as told. Prideful (to the point that she will still refuse a man’s proposal if done out of pity or without enthusiasm, no matter if she’s desperate for companionship or risking to go hungry, and that’s even after being pushed off a cliff), sometimes a little harsh or sarcastic, confident in her voice, and once she likes someone definitely becomes more chatty. She’s easily impressed, and more open-minded, given her upbringing, than most. She does become more disillusioned about romance, still wishes to marry so she can inherit her grandmother’s belongings if only because her dear grandmother did not want Lorelei’s mother to have them. The whole ‘being proper’ is also fading a bit, at least the parts that don’t feel important to her, the more she goes on. The older she grows, the more her wish to be accepted stops being about high society or society as a whole and becomes about finding a person or more who will love her for who she is.Even iIf she can't find them, she refuses to hide from the world and let it win. She ALWAYS says the truth about what was done to her, because innocent and angry about it, and brings up her reputation herself.

-she doesn’t have PTSD. While human she is understandably uneasy when rejecting men now, but she’s also not generally afraid of all men. She’s rightfully hurt and can have nightmares/anxiety but PTSD is more complex than that.

-obviously in verses where she’s not rescued by magic after the fall, most of her body has scars (hidden by clothes and makeup). She also limps, her left leg isn't as trustworthy so she uses a cane to walk and feels chronic pain, and there are days when she can't get out of bed. There are plenty made up stories people came up with trying to guess why, and of course whatever time period we set this in, which must be long in the past, her disability is one more stigma.

Long version of the backstory: -’historical’ part- (v. slandered singer)

Born out of wedlock, Lorelei was named after her grandmother, the countess Lorelei Baltz, who had her daughter Lydia sail to London and come back to the family mansion so that she could raise the child herself, sensing that Lorelei's mother was blaming the child for the shame that she had brought upon their family. Lydia was sixteen, visiting her paternal uncles in Germany, and only wanted to have fun and find a rich husband, but also follow her every whim and not be stuck with a baby if she could avoid it, not caring one bit of the problems she had caused to the rest of the family. At first the family lied about Lorelei’s father being dead, but between her mother's still scandalous behavior and lovers who came to try to win her back soon enough everyone among their social circles knew the truth; still, her grandmother, who did love Lorelei, tried to give her all the teachings and confidence she needed to go on with her life without letting people's constant judgment bring her down - and hopefully some day find a husband despite her condition. Lydia kept causing trouble but since the family was very rich and influent, people were willing to be polite, at least publicly, to little Lorelei. Her mother did find a man who would marry her a couple of years later and eventually went on having other children, who were more doted on because wanted.

One of Lorelei's true saving grace was her singing voice, beautiful enough to distract the most diffident people and soon popular enough to guarantee that Lorelei may not actually need to beg for a husband any time soon and even be able to support herself in one of the few non-criminal way possible for a woman, even if she couldn't directly inherit the Baltz's fortune. She began to perform all over England and to hope that she could find happiness in music as well as make people forget her background and actually accept her. She wanted to be as close to the ordinary life of the ladies her grandmother knew as possible, and out of naivety when twenty-one she started falling for the first handsome man who had been bold enough to follow her through most of her tour for the chance of hearing her sing, Edward. Sadly the man was a gambler who followed every temporary fancy and then dropped it to move to the next, and her grandmother knew enough to deny Edward any courting; out of revenge, he persuaded Lorelei to give him a goodbye kiss and made it so that people would walk on them just as he pretended to push her away over being too bold, just like her mother. Immediately rumors of Lorelei's conduct started flying, her reputation directly ruined and not by her mother's actions, and Lorelei fought for the truth to be recognized to no avail. Even fake lovers started to show up to gain attention or because friends with Edward. She refused to stop singing and was still invited to do so, but nobody would accost her after her plays, enjoying her voice but keeping due distance, talking behind her back and not wanting to be associated with her and her scandalous family. Her grandmother, just in case more happened, began to secretly teach Lorelei how to survive by herself, cook and clean, in case she wouldn’t be able to afford maids after all.

Wanting to start again, Lorelei decided to use her small fortune to travel, at this point already seen as an old maid at home and having lost hope to find love and be married to a good man, but wanting to at least be her own woman and walk with her head up once again; and she was often chaperoned by one of her mother’s siblings and his family, who still believed in her and wanted to be part of her tours (but their family was numerous and Lorelei the First had five kids, three nof them being men, so they weren’t able to promise Lorelei she’d be taken for her whole life if she stayed unmarried). Lorelei took a break to take care of her dying grandmother, then resumed traveling, her family’s fortune passing to her mother and her husband and her mother not being too welcoming of her. But Lorelei hadn’t given up on trying to find a home yet.

Destiny had other plans and back in Germany yet another man, a duke from a far away island named Isla Fuego, fell for her singing voice and beauty, followed her to the cliff where she used to go sing by herself, offering to marry her on the spot but making clear she had to be grateful for it; Lorelei, a prideful woman, refused harshly. He attacked her, pushed her down the cliff, but Lorelei didn't die. If you don’t want to write a magical version of it, it took her years to recover after being lucky enough to be immediately found by a doctor, and a lot of strength, and she’s in her early/mid-thirty in threads, still a singer, hiding her scars, limping, disliking the help she gets over it, trying to learn more about medicine so she can help others and herself, more ready to joke even if with dark humor at times, not really expecting to ever find a husband again and resigned to be treated in certain ways. (v. fallen and risen again)

-The fantasy part that can adapt to fandoms with magic- (v. cursed siren)

 Almost out of stubbornness she was able to survive and wash ashore, where a witch found her and was able to patch her up enough that she could survive the short trip to where the goddess Calypso, trapped in the form of a human woman named Tia Dalma, lived. Calypso, with her powers limited by her humanity, could only save her life with a curse - and a blessing, depending on how one would look at it - and giving the broken woman magical strength, a nearly monstrous appearance when she used it, and a new quality to her voice; her singing now had the magical ability to draw men to her, and to let her see if the men in question were the sort to hurt or kill a woman out of revenge because denied in any way, from marriage to sex. Lorelei was free to kill them and leave the crew at the mercy of Davy Jones or spare them all. The curse can only be broken by Lorelei being accepted and loved despite her looks and abilities, or by finding the man who nearly killed her and taking his life, but she can't kill him herself.

other verses:

-after the curse is broken for any reason, v. a woman once again, Lorelei has to deal with what she chose to do while a siren, has seen too much to care about being accepted by high society, and will go anywhere to cheer people up with her singing/possibly finding love or a family in our threads; she still wants to marry so that no matter who the man is her grandmother’s will can be uphold and she will get her inheritance, much like Lorelei the First wished. 

-potc related, v. part of the ship: (if you play Davy Jones this will not forced on you as automatic backstory) she's 'rescued' by Davy Jones who was soothed by her singing on the cliff, but he has no place for a woman in his crew and leaves her below deck, where she becomes part of the ship and sings, until freed because healed enough or because released by your muse. He hadn't meant to keep her as prisoner, after all. For threads where your character may rescue her, or be part of cursed crews.

-generally related to pirates, v. sea shanty: shunned and with no money on her at the time, after her recovery from being pushed down a cliff she joins a pirate crew, having been taken under the captain's protection because of her singing, and can be found anywhere near pirates, earning a living by singing, usually not harassed either due to her voice or because under the wing of a powerful pirate.

-magical fandoms-related, especially ouat or Merlin - v. sad siren: a variation of her backstory for these fandoms, she is rescued by a witch's magic and the spell gives her voice the same magical ability to draw people to her and soothe hearts. She becomes a siren but only brings happiness and hides from danger.

v. legitimate daughter: depending on our plotting needs, her unknown father can turn out to be a man with royal blood or a nobleman named Frederick II of Limburg. He and Lorelei's mother had an 'adventure' when sixteen, a wonderful weekend that ended with them spending the night together, Lydia later on informing him of the pregnancy, him refusing to acknowledge it and getting away; after having a change of heart decades later (this can be set before or after the fall from the cliff) he comes back for Lorelei, deciding to recognize her as one of his children. This may also be used as a background for arranged marriage plots, since he'd be interested in finding a husband for his daughter regardless of her reputation and his money, for practical reason but also so that she won't grow old alone.

v. beggar: set whether she has fallen off the cliff yet or not, in this universe eventually Lorelei found herself out of luck, no more gigs due to her bad reputation and her uncle’s family taking a step back and not helping her travel anymore, no inheritance, a mother unwilling to help, her pride making her refuse to accept pity from people who know her well in front of the eyes of all the people she grew up with, no husband to take care of her, so she was forced to travel and try to earn money in any way possible except for prostitution. But there aren’t many open paths to women who have less experience in domestic work than others and are unmarried and without family to help them, especially if her reputation is brought up. More often than not she’s forced to perform in the streets to earn some money, which usually works but it’s not enough to live, and sometimes she finds little gigs cleaning or serving tables. She can be homeless if not offered a room, and she’s desperate for honest work.

v. beggar and almost a mother: like above, but on top of it when she found a child abandoned by the evil pirate/criminal father and chased by the lawmen as if guilty of anything himself, she claimed to be the mother, confirmed that she was a lover to an important man who wanted nothing to do with them and left in dishonor. She saved the child, and now she has to keep the lie up, and try to provide for both while having a fake constant proof of her ‘terrible behavior’ with men right next to her. This verse can only be set in verses where children could still be killed or arrested, see POTC and how Beckett had a pirate child hung for his crimes.  

#about page for lorelei

[freshly-picked-pineapples]

Fic list

 Looks like I’ve written quite a lot of stuff. Here is a list. I’ll most likely add to the list as I write along. Pairings below the gen list.

Tokyo ghoul

Gen:

Halcyon[Angst]: Urie and Saiko deal with Shirazu’s death.

A song of Haise and fire (AU//crack) : ASOIAF-AU one-shot.

Trash Prince (AU, Tsukiyama and Touka) : In which Tsukiyama writes a letter (drabble).

Garden [Eto, Kaneki// Angst]:  Out of all the flowers in her garden, the spiderlily is her favourite (drabble).

Pocket full of sunshine[Angsty-ish]: Kaneki’s gains his first friend when Nagachika Hideyoshi declares himself his best friend for their entire class to hear.

Requiem: Instead of a person who hurts others, become a person who gets hurt [Kaneki-centric. CW: child abuse , suicide, character death].

Masterpiece (Eto, Kanae) : Eto loves her needlework.[Angst// Torture]

Puriemotion: Urie doesn't think he has a problem, but he does. [Urie centric]

Echo [ Amon /Akira ] :  They dance back and forth across the sea of dead bodies, and she can’t help but think that there is something oddly familiar about his movements .[Angst] 

Scattered [Sasaki-centric] : “Shhhh,” the white haired child tells him, finger pressed against the lips. Don't tell. [Angst]

Martyr [Haise, Hinami]: He would save Hinami, no matter what.

Trash Prince [Touka/Tsukiyama, AU, crack] : Tsukiyama writes a letter. 

The many types of Shuus [Tsukiyama] : Once, Shuu got a shoe for his birthday.

This trash can [Tsukiyama]: Tsukiyama embarks on a journey to prove himself as the newest mop-boy of :re.

Salad King [Tsukiyama]: Tsukiyama has a plan to make :re great again.

Food for thought [Tsukiyama]: In which Tsukiyama flirts for all the wrong reasons.

Upside-down [Akira]: Akira isn’t sure who she is supposed to hate anymore.

Turning tides [Saiko// spoilers till :re 134]:  It just isn’t right. Saiko doesn’t understand how none of them can see it.

Ayahina

Parental Guidance: In which Ayato thinks he is an adult and Hinami is a good little girl.

Sayoshigure [Ayahina// Angst, character death and gore] (A collection of Ayahina one-shots)

Part i : I won’t be able to ask Nii-chan the meaning of the characters, she thinks dully,I’ll have to get a dictionary (In which Hinami joins Aogiri).

Part ii :  “What, we are recruiting preschoolers now?” he sneers. The girl looks like she is ten, standing in the courtyard with her arms around herself.

Part iii : They take her away, and he is powerless to stop it (post nutcracker arc)

Part iv:  People change- they move on and evolve, people forget, people become quinques- these were just facts of life you couldn’t argue with.

Part v: In the bellies of her underground prison, Hinami waits.

Touken

i. Canon complient:

(All stories are one-shots unless otherwise indicated.)

I knew you once : The rabbit stands before him, arms supporting an unconscious girl. [Angst]

Forget me not : How ironic was it that out of all the flowers in the world, he would bring her forget-me-nots?

Playdate : In which Haise asks Touka out, sort of. 

For better or worse [Cannon divergence from :re 42] :  It’s better to stay away, she tells herself, you’re not part of his life anymore[Angst//Dark] .

All part of the job :  “We’re not stalking her,” Haise tells Urie much more sharply than he intended, “That man she’s with looks suspicious.”

11 facts about Kirishima Touka [Angst, Character death// canon divergence]  they were doomed to live Shakespearean tragedy should they fall in love. (This contains two drabbles- unintentional and showdown. I compiled them after I’d written them because of a prompt)

Weltschmerz [Post-canon, slight Etoken// Some Angst] :  She refused to think of the smokey-grey eyes or the face that seemed so familiar and out of place at the same time [Spoilers till :re 66]

Wind[spoilers till :re 69//some angst] :  The blood pooling through their fingers looks black in the dark, and he can hear the drip, drip, drip of it onto the cement floor.

All the stars in the sky [Spoilers till :re 126// Character Death]: Sometimes, Kaneki wants so badly to have a chance to fight with Touka over something as silly as the TV.

Fragments [Spoilers till :re143// Character Death/Angst]:  A dream is the only hope she has. After all, you always wake up from dreams, don’t you?

ii. Alternate Universe

(All of the AUs are one-shots unless otherwise indicated.)

Parallel [AU, Canon Divergence] : Kaneki wasn’t taken in by Anteiku. [AU] where Kaneki makes a name for himself by hunting ghouls for a living. [Angst]

Centipede :  [Re-telling of the frog prince] In which Kaneki is a centipede and Touka finds him in the garden[AU].

Castles in the air :  Sometimes, dreams are meant to be just that; dreams. [AU where Touka and Kaneki meet as children, and Touka joins Aogiri] [Angst/Character Death]

Sugar, Spice and Everything nice [Post canon, Au-ish]:  Haise is weird but then again, what else is new?

Newton’s first law [AU, slight Akiramon]: All Haise needs is a huge shove and a lot of meddling for his love life to work out.

Let go [Human AU]: In which Touka goes to the local police station (and she most definitely is NOT a pedophile).

The Prize:  In which Touka rescues Kaneki from a tower guarded by a smelly dragon [Retelling of sleeping beauty].

Pie Day:  Because turning up at your neighbour’s apartment with pie at two a.m is a perfectly reasonable thing to do [Touken/ AU].

Oblivion [AU]: Do you remember the day I found out you were dying?[9000 words, some angst, character death]

iii. Drabbles: [AU drabbles are indicated]

Fellowship of the doves : Sometimes, Haise loves his job.

Birthday cake : Sasaki’s birthday (drabble, post-canon)

Warning signs : There is something familiar about the waitress at :re.

Date and dates  : The Quinx stalk Touka and Haise.

Of diaries stolen : Finders keepers, right?

Miss : She misses him.

Unintentional [Angst] : I never meant to fall in love with you.

Apparition [Angst] : “You’re not real,” he tells her, shaking his head.“Oh, but I am.”

Showdown [Angst] : “What are you waiting for?” she asks the man who does not know her. 

Proposals [Post-canon]: It takes Haise three months, two weeks and four days to pop the question.

Bubble bath : It is hard to mourn without any closure. [AU, warning: gore, character death]

Thankyou [AU, character death] : She is dying in his arms and he is helpless to stop it.

Familiar faces [Drabble, AU] In which the roles are reversed and Touka is the dove.

Poison [Spoilers for :re, Renji-centric]: History has a way of repeating itself, and love is a poison for which there is no cure.

Ghost [Spoilers till :re 132, Renji-centric]:  Renji does not approve.

Dear you [Spoilers for :re 150 ish//Implied Character Absence] : Ken writes a letter to his unborn child.

Ordinary [Post canon] :  He likes how normal their life has become, how ordinary.

Bad hair day [Spoilers for :re162 but not really] : “I can cut your hair,” she’d said, “It’ll be fine.”

iv. Series/ Semi-related one-shots: Post-canon.

Of running and other things: In which Touka is unhappy about Root A and Sasaki does what he does best.

Puddles of faith:  Who did she think he was? A child? He’d have her know that he’d taken care of four adolescents just a few years back. (In which Haise baby sits)

Uncle Ayato: Ayato is a champ.

The octopus and the fairy  : Touka’s daughter has questions.

The octopus and the fairy ii

The babysitter’s club : In which Haise babysits.

#tokyo ghoul #tgre #touken #ayahina #tsukiyama #urie kuki #saiko yonebayashi #Fueguchi Hinami #i was gonna add fics for other fandoms here too #but it got too long