#WHY CANT I BE A PROPER TORTURED ARTIST

[lesbianfakir]

Sorry for being so rambly today (and last night) I have thoughts so onto the blog they go

I feel like part of the joy of art is in community, like you create something and you get to talk about it and share it with the world. This year I lost touch with the friends who I would always talk about art with and I think that loss is heavily impacting my ability to create (and the enjoyment I get from it.) I miss having a new idea and getting to ramble about it excitedly. I miss texting people the sketches and the mock ups and the color palettes.

I got into art for me. I wouldn’t show anything I made to anyone for years. So I’m no stranger for creating for the target audience of myself. Still, I miss that sense of community. I love this blog and I absolutely adore the lovely comments you all leave on my art but sometimes it feels so one-sided on here. I post a piece, I receive a lovely tag back and that’s it. End of story. I spend hours and hours working on something and it kind of disappears into the void in a day or so.

Trying to put it into words, but I think I wish I could create art that starts a conversation. That inspires people to create their own things in response, or even just talk with me about process. I think the perfectionism has gotten out of hand lately because I feel like I’m missing something—which I attribute to the quality of the piece—but really what I’m missing is buddies to chat about art with. There is no level of being “good enough” that will serve as a substitute for a real community.

#ahaha if you can’t tell I am a very introspective person #and a lonely one the transition to college has been rough and all my friends are back home #anyways I was thinking about drawing more stuff for my ocs today #and then I remembered the friend I loved to talk about them with hasn’t replied to me in a month #which is understandable. she’s busy. she made new friends. she’s not struggling like I am so it makes sense that she’s just kind of moved on #but I miss her #I had no chance of making it to her in group because all her friends she met through dance and I can’t dance for shit #I don’t even think she meant to ghost me but who knows #it sucks that I won’t get a real goodbye #anyways all of that to say I was going to draw my ocs and then I got so sad because who would I even share them with #there are a few art groups on campus but I have anxiety and mild agoraphobia and when I try to go I just feel awkward and shy #anyways if anyone ever wants to chat about art #it’s only one of my fav things in the whole world #lea talks #WHY CANT I BE A PROPER TORTURED ARTIST #WHY CANT I TURN MY ISOLATION INTO SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL #WHY DO I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO BE PRESENT IN THE PROCRESS #is it not enough to descend into a quiet madness on my own and create from that??

[slashingdisneypasta]

The Taxidermist x Reader || Drabble

Plot: Walter touches you like he doesn’t quite deserve it, like its only happening in his dreams. Like you’ll break and he’ll wake up if he’s any rougher with you then he would have to be with wet piece of paper.

It’s cute. And torturous- in equal measure.

Warnings: Sexual themes and age gap.

Notes:

I think the reason I love Walter, despite not seeing a whole lot of him, is cuz he reminds me of a mix of Stuart Lloyd (a la The Last Showing) and Sheriff Brackett (Of RZ’s Halloween!), haha XDD So that’s sorta how I’ve tried to build on his character- He drinks that respect women juice (At least with reader, ha ha… ) and he’s soft and squishy but at the same time he’s so stuck in his own head most of the time and so comes out kinda dreamy. And C R E E P Y.

~

His fingers - strong, skilled artists hands, - flutter over you like he wants to touch you, god does he want to, but is afraid that just committing and pressing his skin over yours will be going to too far and so he thinks he can trick you into thinking this is affection- when really you can barely tell that he’s there. Sighing gently out in frustration, you drop your hands carefully onto Walter’s shoulders, Setting him with dubious look. “Walt?”

“Yyy-yes?” He asks, focused and clear eyes snapping up to yours in an instant. He had been focused on where his hands were, currently set carefully on your hips- atop the arms of the jacket tied there. “Sweetie?”

“You know nothing bad’s gonna happen if you touch me proper, right?”

A flicker of a grin flies across his face, as his eyes go back down again. “Sure. I just… ‘m afraid I’ll wake up.”

Those words strike you, as you watch him watching himself. Eyes rounded, because you’re surprised, you can’t at all help the way your heart gives a little at those words. He thinks this is a… dream? Why on earth would he think like that? You heart beats faster in your chest as you gather his face up in your hands and make him look at you- and, honestly, you kind of enjoy the way he gasps when you touch him like this. “Walt why would you say that?”

First he rolls his eyes, smirking. Then shrugs, unsure. “Well, beautiful, assertive young thing like you… wanting me to touch you like that? Or at all? ‘Ts definitely one a’ those things a man dreams about… at this age… and in prison… “He shrugs again; A perky, non-committal movement that is entirely too small- not wanted to jostle you too much as you’re attached to him. Flashing you another grin - There’s something predatory in it, but also something reassuring in it. Something confident, that he refuses to use. - , he fixes his too-soft grip on, basically, your jacket, before averting his gaze again.

Staring at him now, you realise; You are going to have to take the reigns if anything is ever going to happen with him, whether you feel confident enough to do it or not. And luckily, you are just the kind of person to do a thing like that. For Walter. So you take a deep breath, and hook your arms around his neck. “Walt… do you want me?”

His eyes have gotten a little bit more round at your movement, feeling you so close to him. “Course I do, but- “

“But?” You push, guiding his head up to look you in the eye, so he sees how serious you are. How your eyes are saying ‘Tell me now, or its over’. You want to know- You need to know- if there’s anything substantial to his hesitancy. And you need to know now.

“But, I... I... " The way this man's eyes flicker from your eyes, ardent in their focus on him and his answer and what would happen after, down to your lips and then the rest of your body- then quickly back up to your eyes. "I don't deserve... something like that... well, y-you- "

With that, though, you just cant help yourself anymore. Before he even finishes talking, you foresee that last terrible word and drag him to your lips. You plant an almost messy kiss on him and its actually quote adorable that for a moment he just freezes under your lips- before his fingers are clutching your arms, your actual arms albeit gently, - and my god he's kissing you back.

"Walter... " His name is the first thing off your tongue when you pull back a good few moments later, you half-hooded hues darker then usual but at the same time blown bright with lust. The look takes him off guard, for sure as the look he responds to yours with is even further from standard, or ordinary, or... composed.

"Don't say my name like that, sweetheart, I- I... I don't know if I can... handle, that."

"Sure you can!" You smirk, a look that sends strikes of almost blinding lust through the older man with crazy hair. Pressing your hands against his chest, you suddenly push him backwards.

"Ah- " As soon as the man ends up on the lovely, cushy sofa behind him you follow him down, straddling his lap and letting your hair fall seductively around your face as your hands find his shoulders. Its only when he gathers himself back together that you you really feel thrilled though, even with him underneath you like this. He's overwhelmed more by the dark gaze in your eyes then by the fall, too- though that part certainly hit something right in him. And you stow that little piece of information away in your head. He likes a little danger...

"You're sure stubborn." He says, as if you and the tinkering smirk that plucks at the corners of your mouth don't already know. "And pre... pr- far too pretty... "

In response you lean down and press one more urging kiss to his lips, this one softer and more maddening. When you pull back his lips almost totally follow yours, in an endeavour to keep going, and you know that you've won.

"I want you."

#The Taxidermist x Reader #Walter Harris x Reader #The Taxidermist x Reader Drabble #Walter Harris x Reader Drabble #Drabble #The Funhouse Massacre #The Funhouse Massacre x Reader

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E4 LiveThoughts

And were back at it again, this week with turkey and Italian preserved sausage as a snack! Lets see what RT has for us this week.

Oh, 20 minutes. Are they normally this long?

Oh, wait, the openings almost 2 minutes long. Thats more like it.

And now to Robyn and Qrow. Seems Robyns actually liking Qrow a little bit now. 

Guess the cells aren’t secured if a fly got into Schnee’s. This a “Fly on Mike Pence’s face” reference?

Qrow sounds more growly again. Did he get smacked back two seasons by Clover dying?

If by “darkness” you mean “Tyrian” then, yes. Also dude, its Clover. He was shit anyway. All the Aces are shit. Dont feel too bad about him.

And he’s got a point too. If Clover had thought with his head instead of his dick (yes, Im sure they were gonna fuck, Fair Games totally a thing), he probably wouldnt be dead now, and Tyrian would be the one with the sword through his chest.

But of course this is RWBY and V7/8 so things cant go their ways.

Ouch. Deep thoughts of Qrow. And some interesting stuff from Robyn too. I still think I’d prefer hopeandharmonizing’s Briar, though.

Marrows glare gives me life. Hare’s just a moron right now though, but thats no real surprise. She’s immature emotionally.  Honestly, shes...kind of like a less bad version of our current President. Always has to be the best at everything, fastest, leader, whatever.

Thats probably why this is grating on her so much. Even though shes TECHNICALLY the Ace’s leader now (I think? Seemed like she was Clovers lieutenant, so by rate of succession she’s in command now)

A glance at the little floating control pad... “Clerance access only”. Okay, that...seems weird. Shouldnt it say something like authorized personell only? Maybe it means access by clerance only or something.

Then Robyn’s name, and then process ID 4591-27. No idea what thats useful for but its there.

Also Marrow seems to be the only competent member of the Aces rn. 

Ah now we get to see some of the hills around Atlas. For those of you who have seen my headcanons on the Hunter-Killers and their base of operations, Fortress Academy, its out in these hills somewhere.

The music sounds like a boss fight.

The screen on Ren’s hoverbike reads “HVB Rhino” and “HD5800″ I can only assume HVB stands for “hoverbike” and Rhino must be its name, like how the dropships are Mantas. No clue what the number is. 

Also apparently the cold in Solitas is so bad it corrupts machinery?

Ahh, good, some action. Lets see what we get now. Ohh, teamwork. And again, signs that aura allows you to move faster and farther than a normal human

Heh, it really is like a boss fight, like the chase scene at the end of the first Viking level in For Honor.

Oh, and it can call for reenforcements literally out of nowhere? Or is the whole tundra of Solitas just CRAWLING with Grimm?

Yes, yes it did just call for backup, Yang. Maybe these are all forward scouts and ambush units from the Grimmstorm. They did say its the biggest...

Another banger from Casey Lee Williams...

What the hell happened in Solitas to cause this geography? Seriously, its a line of bridges over a gap in two cliffs...that cant be natrual, not that equal in distance.

Man, those bikes didnt even last half an episode...I guess thats fair, they are facing obsurd odds. Or maybe they just want Yang to be the only one with a bike.

And there goes the dropwall. Woops.

Also you can just kinda see it but they bounce off the rock and thats why they slow down. Useful.

Also this part with them falling off the edge reminds me of the ending cutscene of Halo 4s Forerunner level, where Chief flies out of a portal and almost goes sailing off a cliff in a Ghost.  Except here, the bike stays on the land and THEY go off the cliff.

I paused at just the right time cause YANGS FACE XD

Holy shit what are Ren’s weapons cables MADE OF? The one atop him is holding him AND the weight of his two teammates. And the one below has both Jaune and Yang. No sign of slippage or breackage at all. 

Ahhh there’s the whaleship (Monstra? Fuck it Im gonna keep calling it the whaleship). So yeah my headcanon now is the mountain its right next too is Menachite, where Fortress is. 

Oh hey back to the Schnee manor of all things! Does...this mean military invasion of the Schnee grounds. Hey Whitley. Lesbians are here. 

Someone make a video cut of Weiss banging on the door to the “Knock knock open up the door its real!” part of that one song.

Hehehehhe. Nice Weiss.

Also convenient about the house staff. Good thing RT doesnt need to animate them or Willow now...

I hope the staff took some of the silverware and some paintings on the way out.

Why is MAY the one carrying Nora.

Ah so now they’re stuck out there with no cell service. Hehe.

Ah okay so the cold in Solitas DOES eat aura. Good, my headcanon still kind of stands. 

I wonder, does wearing proper cold weather clothing (like bundled up stuff) help? Or does it cut right through...

Why is JAUNE the one hauling the bike? Isnt Yang the strongest? Or maybe they take turns.

Ahhh inter-team talking. Also, outpost. Hmm. Atlas one? Overrun if I had to guess. Unless he saw Fortress. Which I doubt.

I do love the circling shot here, with the light on Yang’s hair and the shadows on Ren. Its...really artistic and emotional. GREAT WORK RT. 

Rens got points. And hes saying stuff I myself have been saying for ages, which is good. I wonder why this is how Ren is now...working with the Ace Ops? Being afraid of loosing Nora? No one tell him what happened last episode.

Also, Jaune’s hair seems to have gotten less crazy in recent episodes. It looks less like a banana and more like a close tactical cut.

Yangs got a point.

Ahhh and now we get to see the inside of the whale. 

SALEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SHOWING THE FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY. WE GET IT. 

...this is gonna be a really criingy torture section, isnt it.

Someones gonna take that “hound didnt break you” line in the WRONG direction 

It is amusing the only thing holding Oscar down is the Hound actually. 

Ah so they’re still searching the remains of Beacon.

Also I like how Salem calls them “her forces” as if its anything but a random bunch of expendable monsters. Like, bruh, you cant search anything with THAT.

Ignoring the boring chat between these two, notice how the Hound’s shoulder literally flexes and shifts when Salem touched it. I dont think this thing is solid at all aside from the head and the bone claws...the whole thing is just amorphous Grimm material that can adapt to whatever situation it requires. A specialist unit. A...Hunter hunter.

Yo what the fuck was that. Magic? Huh. Did we actually SEE magic for once in the show? Only took us 8 FUCKING SEASONS...

Doesnt seem to be anything but an energy blast/pain never firing though. I assume his auras still gone, cause its completely singed his shirt, but it didnt do much else.

...Im not impressed.

She really needs to stop touching his face, its creeping me out.

HAHA SHE CANT DO IT HERSELF SHE HAS TO RELY ON HAZEL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. I think we know where she stands now, doesnt she...say what you will about her letting Hazel have his vengeance (which is very valid, even he admits hit), but me? I think she A) cant actually beat up on Ozma herself because she still cares and B) shes almost out of magic too. Its weakened as the Gods have been gone and shes been forced to rely on the Grimm and on pawns. Basically, once she and Oz are both gone? That’s it for magic. Remnant will belong to the Grimm...and to technology. 

At which point without Oz around to hold them back Atlas is going to go fucking BONKERS and basically ensure the Grimm get pushed back into a corner and then finally permenantly STAMPED OUT.

More Whale insides. Seems like most of its empty grandious spaces. Or possibly muscle? Hard to tell. Either way theres a lot of open air in there...with tight corridors. If you fired a thermobaric warehead into one of the chambers the resulting blastc could possibly blow the doors off and send a raging fireball through the entire thing...Hmm. Filing that away for later.

NEO IS SO SHORT ITS FUNNY TO ME. I know its just positioning BUT SHE LOOKS EVEN SHORTER IN THIS SHOT THAN USUAL.

More note on the Hound; the “flesh” around its right shoulder spike actually sinks down when it stops moving. Its neck shifts and moves too, like the material isnt solid, but recirculating.

I also dont see any eyes. And it looks like it has some kind of...forehead mouth? Def looks like teeth down the ridge of its spine.

Oh boy yeah that...whole thing is basically melting in on itself.

I wont lie; hearing Cinder get berated by CORTANA (and yes, I still hear Cortana in Salem, espeically now that the two characters are kind of one and the same, both megalomaniacal leaders of giant armies, bar the fact that one of them is about a TRILLION times more dangerous than the other because one of them has access to Guardian Custodies and the other one is...well kind of lame and has to have beefy dudes beat up on small children etc) is pleasing to me. 

Get fucked, Cinder.

And THERE is Cortana again too.

Neo Marry Popins’s Ya’lling is fucking CUTE. And I love her little smirk.

Wait the whale’s that close?

..oh my...hold on.

...thats it. THATS ATLAS’S AIR FLEET!?!

12 AIRSHIPS? 12? EXCUSE ME!?

ARE YOU LEGITAMETLY TELLING ME THE BIGGEST MILITARY ON REMNANT HAS FEWER AIRSHIPS THAN THE SMALLEST NAVY ON EARTH HAS FRIGATES? YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE MORE SOMEWHERE. THIS IS A JOKE, A STRAIGHT UP FUCKING JOKE.

...

No, thats...thats it. Thats Atlas’s airfleet. 12 tiny vessels. I swear it was bigger last season...

...HA! HAHA! HA! Oh, Ironwood, and Atlas as a whole...you deserve everything your about to get. I hope you die SCREAMING, and that when your bodies fall bleeding and shattered to Mantle, the people down there will realize that, no. You cant just assume Hunters will do all the work for you

THIS IS REMNANT. ITS KILL OR BE KILLED. YOU EITHER MAKE A FORCE POWERFUL ENOUGH THAT THE GRIMM RUN FROM YOU  OR YOU DIE INSTEAD. ATLAS FAILED. NOW THEY SUFFER.

Emerald stop simpin.

Also that is...the SHITTEST outpost...I have ever seen in my life. My overall thought process of Atlas is...sinking even LOWER than before. 

Though it seems more like a waystation. Bed, Dust, some dudes coat on it. Dead heater. Its probably a rest spot for Specialists out in the tundra.

Ren does the emo sit. Lol. Yang even says it. Brood himself to death.

Alright whats this now...something forcing itself out of the tundra?

And thats it for today! Cool ass concept art at the end there too. 

#rwby #rwby spoilers #spoilers #rwby v8