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orcelito · 4 months

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Ok. Real question. How many people Actually have believed in Santa? Bc I never did, mostly bc my dad never bothered with the entire pretense, so the whole concept is just. Really fucking strange to me

Putting an actual poll bc I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit thinking about how apparently widespread it is. Like. It's just so... weird? Why is this the thing people have popularized? It makes no sense.

#speculation nation #polls #like ok my dad's an atheist raised by jewish parents so xmas has never really been a religious sort of holiday to me #we celebrate it bc it's fun to give gifts and spend time with family #but that's... it.#all the lore and mythos of xmas is just so weird to me #like baby jesus etc etc but now here comes saint nicholas with the steel chair! (breaking into your house to eat your cookies #and leave presents Only for the rich kids! why only the rich ones? uhmmm Dont worry about it!)#genuinely speaking my dad's worked at ups my whole life so growing up he'd say he (and the rest of his coworkers) were the real santas #said as a joke mostly bc theyre the ones Actually delivering the packages #but i took it to heart. told people at school that my dad was the Real santa.#no one believed me lol which i found quite frustrating.#but yeah i have never once in my entire life believed in Santa #and im content with that. it seems like such a stupid thing i will be honest.#'what about the magic of christmas' what about the poor kids who dont get gifts & feel abandoned by this all-powerful man?#in fact why do we Want kids to not think it's their parents giving gifts? they cant thank the right people if we trick them.#it's a convoluted setup that makes absolutely 0 sense to me #trust me christmas had more than enough 'magic' for me as a kid just bc of all the cool lights and all the free gifts #dont need some mythological man who can travel the globe in one night and is a professional in B&E #makes no sense for Real.#there was a time with my ex step siblings where me n my sister were told not to spoil the fun for them #so i had to pretend like santa existed as they opened presents marked from him #and even back then i was just thinking 'this is So Dumb'#this is an anti santa zone i guess. me and myself hate the popularized version of this strange strange belief system.

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crescentfool · 5 months

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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

#lizzy speaks #hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023 #but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me #so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s #it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything #and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are #all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it #for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space #and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i #some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol #but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works #i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more #it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves #as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like #wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!

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july-19th-club · 1 year

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me age seven being sat down in front of the school’s district child psych lady and being given strange, simple spatial puzzles to solve and then long, complicated worksheets and hammering my way through them at the speed of light while having zero comprehension what their purpose was or why i was here: this is urgent! i have to get a good grade in Weird Puzzles, Or Else, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,

#kjalkjsdalkjasdl mrs button was a nice lady but not one adult in my childhood ever seemed to notice what to me now seems like #a pretty obvious case of the autisms #then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later #everybody was talking about autism but not when i was six or seven then it was usually just when it was Very Visible #a couple years later my cousin who's more visibly on the spectrum than me got her diagnosis so young that she's pretty much always had it #which is...well i think it's just made her life difficult in a different way. people underestimate her or don't treat her like she's her age #but then she's always had the opportunity to get accommodations and people are sometimes more forgiving when she can't do something #whereas i got labeled 'kid that should be ahead of the game' from a pretty young age and then when i struggled adults either ignored it #or it was just a huge hassle to them and even i could see it exasperated them to have to work around me #but because mrs button (nice lady but what were you thinking) hadn't told them to treat me like a kid with a developmental disorder #they didn't do that in good OR bad ways . so i never got any accommodations with school stuff i struggled with which was a fair bit #i wasn't supposed to need extra testing time in a quiet room or tutoring with math or help organizing my abysmally scattered things #the only time i DID get that was in sixth grade when i was sort-of friends with this kid jonathan who was Very On The Spectrum #he wasn't really a talker unless it was about whatever he was reading which suited me fine so we just kind of existed in each other's space #and his TSS was this very smart and nice lady who had clearly clocked that Something Was Going On With Me and even though it wasn't like #her JOB she made a little bit of time for me. mostly with emotional stuff (i think i was under the impression she was a therapist?)#but if i had some problem with being unable to keep friends or being frozen out by the kids i wanted to be liked by (happened often)#she'd be able to just like. be there she'd make the time . wish i could remember her name

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krotiation · 2 years

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damn i miss mid-2010 fandom culture

it feels like we went from “like whatever you want and have fun” to “like whatever you want but if you like this specific thing you will be publicly judged and made fun of”. like obviously we had a couple nuts making fun of others back then too but it wasnt as accepted as it is nowadays. seriously, take a fandom that has been declared cringy today and think about how it would be treated 10 years ago

#IK THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND TIME I MAKE A POST LIKE THIS but this isnt anything thats based on my own interests and experiences #more so just things ive seen lately specially after s4 of stran/ger things came out and people on tiktok had a meltdown over fans cosplaying #WHICH I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE SAME THOUGHT cause ive definitely seen some people defending said cosplayers #also. really weird. but ive seen some asshats criticizing people making crossovers as well #meanwhile we had rise of the guardians #the secret trio #and oh my god BAD END FRIENDS #we're not even gonna get into crossover ships man those were the days #like ngl ive had moments where ive seen a crossover of sorts and thought wtf this doesnt make any sense why did you do this #but i dont have the right to judge considering i thrived off of crossovers when i was in middle school #ffs i made an h/tf and oso/san crossover as a joke i REALLY dont have the right to judge #i have no idea where i was going with this post i just miss how we viewed fandoms back then #i rewatched gra/vity falls and ive just been slapped with nostalgia from being into it while it was still ongoing and i mISS IT #i swear i can make an essay on how tumblr banning po/rn was the beginning of the end for fandom culture #oh and theres also purity culture but thats a whole other issue to get into #txt

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thornshadowwolf · 22 days

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I don't remember why but I dreamed about looking up the common religions in different regions of Thailand last night

#in addition to like. more regular dreams where someone kidnapped part of our camping/hiking group and I needed to use my knowledge of #dog/wolf behavior to appease a wolf that we needed to pass by to get between two forest clearings and also since my character was a #clean-freak / germaphobe he had the power to have bugs not bother him in the woods and then that all happened twice because ofc we needed to #keep to the story script when it restarted and I had to keep everything on the rails but this time two other wolves also came up and they #all decided I was chill and we left each other alone even while I was de-escalating the kidnapping situation but then the kidnappers started #running away and I was like 'you know what would make them think again? three wolves chasing them' so I got the wolves' attention and #started running and they thought it was some kind of chase game and eventually after a couple times of them catching up with me and thinking #that was it they realized someone ahead of us was also running so THEY were the target and we finally started chasing down the kidnappers #and by this point I was considered part of the pack and also we were in a school gymnasium but right after some sort of fair or assembly so #we had to dodge chairs and tables and stacks of equipment and occasionally children but they mostly kept out of the way #oh and I think after the reset but before the kidnapping there was also a part where one of the other characters (I feel like one of my #siblings was playing this one) insisted that our top priority should be finding clothes and I was like 'wait are you NAKED?' and they were #like 'yeah we all are???' and I was like 'WHAT no I'm fully dressed. my character is wearing a suit and tie! and a hat even!' yeah yeah and #then the kidnappers/bullies came up and one of them was a blond lady with a bolo tie.#btw the reason I'm saying stuff like 'my character'/'was playing a character' is because in this dream it was explicitly characters we were #playing in some sort of game where the focus wasn't roleplay but it had a roleplay-y aspect where the different characters had different #strengths and abilities; such as Betrayal at House on the Hill or Western Legends or Dead of Winter #anyway. IDK why dream-me thought thailand was one of the most religiously diverse places on earth. in real life it's over 90% buddhist.#ThornShadow.said

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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 month

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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about #but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were #and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat #as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like #a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain #it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot #i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds #i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh #political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore #they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get #but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk #i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers #here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now #it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths #i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how #burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that #i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up #could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me #coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage #you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao #i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now #bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will #i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail #also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e #no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it #i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course #idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do #anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand #shai speaks

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ban-joey · 6 months

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sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh!#not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :)#like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends.#even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted)#a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay!#im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid.#he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :)#and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

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gingerbreadmonsters · 5 months

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gahhhh. im sure it doesn't sound like it most of the time, but wow my degree is so cool and fun 🥰🥰

#yes it is painful sometimes and yes it is lots of hard work and frustration #but like....... isnt it so cool to find out why the world became the way it is #how people in the past were like us and also so totally different #through the right lens human history is both the ultimate tragedy of a self-obsessed power hungry cannibalistic species #and also the greatest funniest soap opera of all time #stories upon stories #i will be very honest with u i was kind of scared when i started that i had chosen the wrong degree #what if its not as fun at uni as it was at school - what if its actually way too difficult and i end up hating it #but ykw?? im so glad i chose this #(for those who may not know i am a history student)#idk man i just wish more people knew how cool and funny history is sometimes #plus the sorts of ways this degree encourages u to think are VERY useful (esp nowadays)#'always question everything' is the motto and wow it is very enlightening to live like this #where has this info come from - can i trust them? why are they telling me this? what do they want? is it even true? how do they know this?#does this info fit with what i already know? why? what do other people say abt this? does this imply something about the wider context here #look me in the eye and tell me thats not the most important ingredient for being online nowadays #(except for block and move on. that one is supreme we all know that)#if u are not so into history i would encourage u to have a little look at some of the cool stories that are there i think u will like them #one of the funny (and very gory) ones that i would recommend is the life and especially death of maximilian robespierre #he was alive during the french revolution in the late 1700s and the way he dies is fucking hilarious when u know whats going on #i have actually talked abt this a lot on discord bc i think its funny - much to the annoyance of everyone else in the server lol #another one from that time is napoleon's coup and the removal to saint-cloud #the power struggles of the GMD and CCP in china in the early-mid 20th century are also v interesting if u like that sort of thing #this has all come about bc i was reading an account today of the marriage of alfonso vi of leon and castile and princess zaida of seville #and wow i have a lot of thoughts about it #theres no way to tell if they were really in love or not and if so how much #but idk something about it is very sweet and very sad to me #she the daughter in law of the muslim king of seville and supposedly falls in love with the christian king alfonso - she converts #to christianity so she can marry him but they are only together for a short time - she dies a few years later in 1093 giving birth to their #son sancho alfonsez (who is killed in 1108 at age 15) and she's buried at alfonso's favourite church (technically an abbey but ykwim)

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smileymoth · 4 months

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I don't remember the details but what I do know is that I had a dream tonight where I was some guy (not me. someone else. but me) and some other guy in a trench coat killed Etho for some reason and stuffed his body under the floorboards

#we killed 3 other people. why i dont remember. we ran a gas station of some sort but it ended up being on the second floor of tight hallways #i think i was also a robot at some point and i had to jump out a window bc they were trying to figure out what errors i had #they beibg my high school classmates #i dont know. all my dreams are like this. just sometimes without killing #moth post

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy

#Yakzua loveblog #im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything #in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway #my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives #i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his #deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for #thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called #they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other #for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its #never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens #section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like #theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat #while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism #like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he #said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing #with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his #little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone #anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he #was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying #colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity #from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis #like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen #like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik #was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and #he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you #nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic #okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare #oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans

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sadaveniren · 1 year

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Sometimes the homophobia inside the house is so much stronger than outside. And that's just... I don't know what to say.

Oh, and if you ask why I'm saying this, well. The community kind of made me stay in the closet, because I was not a gay or a lesbian and therefore not welcome into the community. And of course not that welcome to the outside world for that matter. Yeah

For sureeeee. I'm so sorry the community is for everyone and some people truly don't understand how excluding groups of queer people from their own community is so damaging ❤️ The infighting within our own community is so damaging and harmful to queer people who don't fit into what some perceive as "acceptable" and "family friendly" BUT it is also not welcoming to people who aren't in the LG(sometimes B and maybe just maybe T) area and this isn't even beginning to touch on people who don't fall under the label of "white" within the community and how they identify/present themselves.

#i remember the president of our gsa in highschool told me no one was bisexual and we needed to pick #and he was like IM JOKING after but like... no dude you weren't #and that's an insanely harmful thing to say to someone who was you know... 14 and trying to find a community within high school #I was also on tumblr during the ace hatred (which is still a thing)#and now of course the trans hatred #and god forbid you try and do some sort of assimilation for PROTECTION #DO YOU KNOW WHY WE LET ALLIES INTO QUEER SPACES BECAUSE CLOSETED PEOPLE CAN BE ALLIES SOMETIMES #I HAD SO MANY 'ALLY' FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO WOULD SLOWLY CONFIDE IN JUST A FEW PEOPLE THEY WERE MAYBE GAY #BUT THEIR PARENTS COULDN'T KNOW #BECAUSE THEN THEY COULDN'T COME TO GSA ANYMORE #i just... the infighting in the queer community is horrible #and the vitriol that comes at closeted queer people in the form of hatred towards potential closeted celebrities is just...#as the meme goes harry styles/taylor swift/etc won't see your words #but your closeted friends who identify strongly with these people will and those are the people you are harming #like... my annoyance is very much not at people thinking a celeb isn't gay i don't care #i care that you are making young closeted queer people feel like garbage and excluding them with your words and actions #and you don't even care because you're so high and mighty in being 'right'

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el-im · 2 years

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todayyyy in class the guy i hate asked a stupid fucking question and antonio elbowed me to get me to notice he was saying something fucking stupid again (i noticed) and he said. i don’t know why you hate him so much. you two are exactly the same. and i said. what are you talking about. and he said. you look the same. and i was like. because we’re both asian? that’s racist. and he started laughing, then got a hold over himself, and was like. that’s not even what i mean--you dress the same. and i looked at him and he was wearing shorts and a sweater and a scarf and i said. i do not dress like that. (i was wearing trousers, patent leather shoes, a turtleneck, a massive wool coat...) he said. you’re both so pretentious. i said what do you MEAN.