#Written in about fifteen minutes so sorry for any really dumb shit or typos

[tswwwit]

the idea of dipper and bill having to act as a "normal" white fence suburdan home married couple bc of "blending in with community" to investigate some particular magical phenamone or a cult or a monster or whatever and dipper is suffering, and bill is suffering too but he's also having sick fun with horrid fascination as an insane demon does, and they ask mabel for ideas, they have a barbeque housewarming party-

-wont leave my mind, its been *days*

dipper: this sucks, people live like this???

bill: I KNOW! THIS SUCKS! *fascinated like a watching a trainwreck or natural disaster* AMAZING

Pine Tree shuts the door behind him very quietly. A gentle 'click' as the latch sets in place.

Bill looks up from where he was flipping through the newspaper. He puffs on his pipe - unlit, but hey! It's for the look of things! - and smiles.

"Hello honey!" Bill takes the pipe out of his mouth, bouncing a slipper on his foot. "How was the homeowner's association meeting?"

Pine Tree stares forward. A muscle in his jaw twitches.

Bill hums to himself, and smiles.

Domesticity! Such as it is. That wonderful white-picket fence, no magic, no monsters, and no chaos-

The paper under his hands tears slightly. Bill clears his throat, shuffling the pages. He gives up on the ruse of news-reading - whether or not those nosy assholes across the street are watching - and flips, nonchalant, right to the comics section. He already solved the crossword in his head ten minutes ago.

Easy. He's got this. It's only been, like a couple days. There are way longer cons he's played, and this one isn't the worst!

Besides.

He'll be damned if he breaks before his mortal does.

"I talked to Linda." Pine Tree's voice is flat. He slowly strides over to the window, and draws the curtains shut.

"And?" Bill prompts, sitting up a little more. Man, sapling's got a full thousand yard-gaze going! He watches with fascination.

"She's so glad to see that the," Pine Tree lifts his hands, making finger quotes. "'Non-traditional' couple is so," He swallows, holding down some simmering fury. "'Decent'" Bill's throat jumps, but. Nope, not perfect. The gagging noise still came through. But he nods, very seriously.

Acting.

"And," Pine Tree says, very slowly. Turning towards Bill, equally slow, and deliberate. "Even though she said I could water the lawn, since it's dying, now I can't water the lawn, because it violates some…" His hand clenches to a fist by his side. "Like, contractor agreement thing?"

"Oh, don't worry about that, honey!" Bill exclaims, with a perfect nineteen fifties voice - he's got that in the bag. "I'm sure it'll all work ou-"

"Except," Pine Tree strides in, planting hands on Bill's armchair, and staring him right in the face. "We're also getting fined for every day that the lawn is dead."

Bill can't help it. He snorts, face scrunching up. A full catch-22! Linda's got another thing coming, eventually. Once they track down this monster.

But hey! Bill can understand sadism, and contractual bullshit! If only Pine Tree wasn't around, he'd have made the trap appropriately lethal.

"Aw, rough day, huh?" Bill sets his pipe down, patting his husband on the shoulder. "Don't worry, honey, we'll-"

And Pine Tree yanks him forward. Gripping Bill's smoking jacket so tight that he hauls him nearly out of his chair. Bill blinks.

"If you call me 'honey' again," He mutters. "I'm going to murder you."

Bill can't stop his laugh this time, and as his cute little mortal rattles him back and forth -

Oh thank chaos, Pine Tree's the one broke first.

"Bill? This sucks." Pine Tree insists, teeth gritted. Shaking Bill harder now. He searches for words, he splutters - one hand waves at the air. "How does anyone live like this?"

Ha! Maybe now he gets how great he has it. No bureaucracy ! No trying to hide what you are from jerks who think magic is 'wrong'! No suburban life, no lawncare, and no rules!

Bill's mortal has too many hangups. You can explode any problem if you want to!

Pity he's not willing to do it with Linda.

"Hell if I know!" Bill exclaims, and surges up. He heaves out a breath, scratching at his neck. "Bullshit magical prejudice. Don't worry, kid!" He pats his husband on the back. "We'll get out of here in no time."

The monster that's preying on these mortals can't hide much longer. Once that's solved, Bill's contingency will kick in. And then -

"No, I found the vampire," Pine Tree says, half distracted. Bill does a double-take. What, he didn't mention that first? "I just, uh."

Bill wags a hand. Prompting.

And Pine Tree shrugs. Offering up an awkward smile. He rubs the back of his neck. "I…. kinda rigged her septic tank to blow once we got out of here."

Bill tugs him closer, beaming now. "Now that's a nice move!" He tucks his hands under Pine Tree's arms, but the human squirms away before he can pick him up. "It's what, a vicinity based setup?" A quick nod, and he grins wider. "Clever trick, kid." "I'd... ask if that's too much, but knowing you, it's not." Bill's cute little mortal punches him, adorably, in the stomach.

"Pfft, nah, that's nothing," Bill nudges him, and grins. Pine Tree's not the only guy who's heard some comments. "You should see what I set up for her house."

#Written in about fifteen minutes so sorry for any really dumb shit or typos #Queuing this for later #I'm going to sleep for five years now #Okay it was more like twentyfive if you count some edits #This is only one example but you KNOW they both hated that shit #SO boring #Dipper probably enjoyed the domesticity for like #Eight hours #Until it started weirding him out #And Bill just got FULL into his role #But if Dipper didn't break he was like within six hours of doing so #Less than half a day for full-on stir-crazy demon NEEDING some chaos #Good thing you solved it first Dipper or there wouldn't have been much of a neighborhood after #Arguably a good thing depending on who lived there #Nah they probably had some really nice neighbors nearby who brought them like #A pineapple upsidedown cake and welcomed them warmly #Bill would have spared them/their house because he has a special like for upside down desserts #Also because Dipper would have been mad at him if he hadn't #Neither of these two do well in perfectly suburban environments #Getting bored out of their skulls without some mystery or monsters or drama #The only result would be that one of them would create it #answers #Sorry for the dumb bullshit

[killmonger-queen]

Songbird G.D.

Summary: You're an aspiring musician in NY. You happen to meet these two unbelievably hot but mysterious twins while going to your favorite place to eat in the city. Grayson seems to take a liking to you instantly, and you can't help but like him back. (Let me know if y'all want the part 2)

Warnings: Cursing and shit!!! Probably typos!

The bustling streets of Manhattan were flooded with pedestrians as you exited out of your studio session and on to the crowded streets. You squinted your eyes as the sun hit your face. You'd been in that studio since 3am. Lately, you have been spending more nights in the recording studio then you did in your studio apartment in Brooklyn. 

What time was it? 

You checked your phone. "4:30 pm already, are you fucking kidding me?" You rolled your eyes. How did you let time get away from you like that? Thank god you were close friends with the owner of the studio so you got session time for free... otherwise, that would've been an extremely expensive session. Your stomach grumbled, leaving behind a slight pain in your gut, letting you know that it had been quite some time since you last ate. This wasn't the first time you'd skip a meal or two to get a song written and recorded. It was a small sacrifice to make your dreams come true. And it was starting to pay off. You were booking more gigs around the city than before. Bars, clubs, shit even birthday parties were cool as long as the price was right. You were even gaining more supporters on social media. Last night you had finally hit 100K on your YouTube channel, which consisted of song covers you'd do, original songs, and music videos. You'd throw in a vlog for a few cool gigs you landed as well. Your following was small compared to others but you were finally making a name for yourself and you were really freaking proud. Tonight you're actually performing your biggest venue thus far which was going to be in this dope ass nightclub that was really popular in the city. Your stomach grumbled again, demanding you to eat something. You instantly decided on your favorite spot which was this small sandwich joint a few blocks away. 

In fifteen minutes you were at your favorite place. You opened the shop door, all the cool air from inside washing over you as you got out the sun. The place was unusually busy but the shop owner spotted you immediately and greeted you with a smile. "Hey Sal!" You said as you marched up to the counter. "How've you be-" You were cut off when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You spun around to find a tall and handsome guy standing in front of you. His eyes were the first thing you noticed. You were stuck trying to figure out if they were brown or green. They looked mostly brown almost the exact shade of brown as his hair, which laid unstyled in a messy flop against his forehead, but when the light hit them you swore you saw green. You brought your focus down to his lips. His plump pink lips. This was probably the first time you ever wanted to kiss a complete stranger. Your eyes continued to study him, now focusing on his broad shoulders and chest that moved up in down as he breathed in and out. He was very muscular, it was obvious even with the jean jacket he wore covering him up. You were so busy checking this dude out that you didn't even realize he was speaking to you.

 "I'm sorry, what?" You said finally, snapping out of your trance. "I said I was next on line. You just fucking skipped me." You realized that he was pissed at you. You blinked a few times before realizing that he was in fact next on line, and behind him was another guy... that looked exactly like him, wtf! "I'm so sorry. I'm so used to this place having hardly any customers, there's usually never a line." You heard Sal crack a laugh from behind the counter. The stranger's exterior softened, giving you a small smile. "It's cool. Me and my bro were just starving." You glanced over to the guy who was a foot or two away from the stranger in front of you. He gave you a small wave and gave a smile in return. So they're twins, you thought to yourself. "Anyways it's no big deal. Ladies first right." He let out a chuckle as he said the last few words and you grin.  "Thank you, again I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude and cut you guys off, if it helps I'll totally pay for you guys subs." The stranger shakes his head. "No, I can't let you do that, but there is something you can do for us instead." He says putting on a sweet smile. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. "And what's that?" You say, curiosity completely taking over. "Help us figure out what to get. You seem like you come here often, what would you recommend? I swear we've been staring at the menu for ten minutes trying to decide but every sandwich sounds so good." Sal chimes in. "It's true, they've been standing there forever and haven't ordered anything." The twins laugh, a slight blush of embarrassment washing over their faces. "Well, that's no problem. My favorite is the meatball sub. I get it all the time. I was just about to order it actually" They both nod in approval of your taste. "Then it's settled. Three meatball subs please." The guy says to Sal. Sal immediately disappears behind the counter preparing the subs. While you wait, you turn to the stranger.

 "So I never got you guys names. I'm Tiana by the way" You hold out your hand. He takes it instantly. "I'm Grayson and this is Ethan." Ethan shakes your hand. "Sup" Is all he manages to say. "Are you guys from here? I've never seen you in here before." You look around at all the people in the shop, realizing that they're all girls who seem to have all their complete focus on the two boys in front of you. "To be honest I've never seen any of these people in here before." He gave you an awkward laugh. "No, we're actually from Jersey but we live out in LA right now." You tilted your head to the side in confusion. "So what are you doing in Manhattan then?" Grayson bites his bottom lip, causing you to put your focus back on them. "We're here for work" You nod at his answer. "Oh cool. What do you guys do?" Ethan answers for Grayson. "We make dumb Youtube videos." Ethan says with a snort, causing Grayson to burst with laughter. "Yeah, they're pretty stupid." Grayson agrees. "What about you? what do you do?" You look down at the floor. "I'm a musician. I sing and I play a few instruments." They both smile. "Impressive. Where can I hear your music?" Grayson says. Causing you to look up from the floor. Your jaw drops. "OH! I also have a Youtube channel, it's small but all my songs are there and I have a Soundcloud. Both are @TianaSongbird, Songbird is my stage name, not my actual last name." You were nervous suddenly, you always got nervous when introducing someone to your music. "What's your channel, I'll check you guys out as well." Grayson grinned. "Just search Dolan Twins and we should pop up." You nodded, saving the name in your notes on your phone. You guys go back and forth exchanging all your social media's 

"So E an I was planning on exploring the city tonight, it would be nice to have a native New Yorker show us around. You down?" Your shoulders sagged. "As dope as that sounds I actually have a really big gig tonight that I can't miss at this nightclub." Grayson's eyes widen with delight. "You're performing tonight! Can we come-- I mean. We'd like to come to support you if that's cool with you. If I'm overstepping that okay, I didn't mean to." You shake your head. "No that's fine, you guys are more than welcome to swing by and see me perform. I'll dm you the address of the club." Just then Sal sets down three amazing smelling meatball subs. You go in your bag to get your wallet but Grayson stops you. "I got this." You look up at him in surprise. "What are you doing?" He smiles. "Consider this as a thank you, for letting us crash your performance." The total for all three subs was only $15.50 but Grayson slaps down a 50 dollar bill and tells Sal to keep the change. "It was great bumping into you today but Ethan and I have to get going to our hotel." They both grab their subs from the counter and head for the door. Grayson turns around to you. "See you tonight Songbird." He gives you a wink before exiting the shop.   

#dolan twins #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #ethan dolan fanfic #dolan twins smut #dolan twins fanfic

[perpetuallyphantasizing]

North and South of Happy (Chapter 3)

Summary: There’s no point in sugar-coating it.  Dan will be dead in ten months, twelve if he is lucky.  Even though he may be dying that doesn’t mean Dan doesn’t want to achieve his life goals.  Dan’s life goals? Fining his point of existence and falling in love.

Word Count: 4.594

Warnings: depression, disease, death

Chapter 3/?    masterlist

A/N: I wrote this like 8 months ago so I’m sorry if there are any typos or if it sucks

Song: Force of Nature- Bea Miller 

Dan POV

There is only one class that me and my four other friends have together and that is English, Louise and Phil’s favorite subject. Although English is quite possibly my worst subject I still enjoyed the class, partially because the books we read are always fascinating and well-written, but mainly because I have all of my closest friends sitting within an arm’s distance from me. That being said, today I feel like utter shit. As the day has been progressing I’ve begun to feel worse and worse and I started a mental countdown of the minutes until I have to rush out of the room to get sick, something I really didn’t want to do in this class. None of my friends know that I’m sick and I know that they would be worried if I spontaneously “got the flu” after a nearly unimaginable lack of flu and colds this school year.

My worries were cut short when I felt my stomach lurch before tieing a knot of my intestines. Other than the whole dying thing, the nausea that comes with this illness has to be the worst part. As the rest of the classroom continued on, unaware of the inner turmoil I was experiencing, I grabbed at my stomach and laid my head in my hands to try to make the sickening feeling go away, even if it was only temporarily. If I could just breath and focus on the dotted carpet below me, then maybe I could make it through the rest of the hour. Staring down at the patterned, filth ridded ground before me I could feel my head begin to pound against my skull until I could hardly maintain my even breathing. My brain felt as if it was a pinball bouncing from thing to thing in an arcade game. The pain in my head was becoming too much, my breathing picking up as I tried desperately to control the contents of my stomach, my concious lost all concept of time and I couldn’t tell if a minute was actually a second or an hour. My stomach did another backflip and I whimpered slightly at my predicament.

Surprising me half to death, I felt a warm hand place itself on my shoulder causing my whole body to lurch forward from the shock. Springing forward, the contents of my stomach did a somersault and I placed my hand in front of my mouth in one quick motion to keep myself from throwing up on my desk. There is no possible way that this day can turn out okay.

Of course Phil being the obviously concerned friend he normally is, replaced his hand that had previously been on my back and began rubbing small circles to soothe me. “Dan?” Phil whispered under his breath so that our teacher couldn’t hear, “Are you okay? Do you need me to take you to the nurse?”

Too focused on not vomiting in front of all my classmates as well as my friends and crush, I ignored Phil’s question and tried repeatedly to return to my regulative breathing patterns. I continued to ignore Phil’s intruding questions, scared of what would happen if I were to open my mouth. In hindsight I should have excused myself to the restroom fifteen minutes ago when I felt the nausea creeping upon me, but I haven't always been the brightest. I felt Phil remove his hand from my back, allowing me to somehow relax that he was no longer touching my shaking body, and also sigh at the loss of contact. The contents of my stomach continued to violently attack my body with not foreseeable future of a surrender.

The panic that continued to grow with every passing second refused to sway ground, my mind a relentless launcher of “what if’s?” towards my already nervous anxiety. By this point all my senses seemed muted and I was unaware of what was happening around me. The voice of my teacher sounded as if she was speaking on the other side of an insulated wall and the normal stench of the slightly moldy classroom was only a memory of my entry to the classroom. The lights in the room all seemed to be fogged around the edges, like that of looking at a street lamp through a frosty window. The only real thing that I could bring myself to focus on was the air that blew down from the vent directly above me, cooling me in my heated panic.  

With minutes ticking by and my body still refusing to stand down from the attack it was conducting I had no idea what to do. At this point I had given up all hope of my stomach easing itself back into peaceful waters and staying in class, I needed to go to the nurse or to the bathroom, but the trust I have in my legs is very little. Just the thought of walking made my stomach increase its continual swirling, my insides feeling like a running washing machine.

“Dan?” I heard the soft voice and looked slightly to my right to see Chris peering down at me, his face etched with concern and pity. I blinked sluggishly at the brown haired boy and the worry deepened in the wrinkles of his face.

“Dan come on, you need to go to the nurse, I’ll take you.” Chris must have known that anything too loud would only make the situation worse because he used a soft whisper to talk, despite the fact that I didn’t think he had a whisper voice.

I reluctantly nodded my head at Chris’s statement and stood up for my friend to walk me to the nurse. I always thought it was pointless to have one kid assist another to the nurse, but as my legs wobbled under my wasteland of a torso I understood why. Once I stood up Chris could see my knees bend and my back slouch at the effort and concentration it took to stand while not puking all over the classroom. Gingerly, Chris placed his arm around my waist and began walking towards the door, giving my body a small pull to get me to move. Right before we were to exit the classroom I turned my head as far as it would go with my head pounding and saw the worried understanding on our teacher’s face, the curiosity on my peers’ faces, and of course the worry of my friends. Chris opened the door and dragged me out into the silent hall.

“Dan what is going on? Are you okay? Do you just feel like you are going to be sick?” Contrary to what I thought earlier it seemed as if Christ didn’t understand the silence I was in need of as he rattled  off question after question.

“Can we just go to the nurse first?”

At my words Chris immediately nodded his head and we began our walk, or if you are me it was more of a long trek, to the nurse. My best friend continued to support me from the waist as we made our way past empty hallways and busy classrooms. Thankfully, Chris didn’t try to make any more conversation, or ask any more questions, as my head was still aching, my stomach still twisting, my breathing still uneven, and my anxiety only slightly subsiding.

The walk to the nurse’s office on the other side of the school was like a hike through a mountainous terrain and I could feel my lack of breath due to my extreme unfitness paired with my crippling anxiety. Walking into the nurse’s office, Chris sat me down on one of the cots and went on a search for the nurse. It was only after Chris walked into Mrs. Hoffman’s office and some hushed whispering that I was greeted by the smiling lady who was known for handing out an absurd amount of mints during finals week.

“So Dan, what seems to be the problem?”

I snuck a glance at Chris to see if he was planning on staying against the wall next to my cot or if he was going to go back to class, but from the looks of it he wasn’t going anywhere at all.

“I feel really nauseous and my head feels like it’s about ready to pound out of my skull.” I said, surprised by my own vivid description despite the fact that it felt like I was getting ready to die.

Mrs. Hoffman approached my cot and, without much warning, placed the back of her hand against my forehead. “You are showing signs of having a temperature, possibly even the flu, let me take your temperature.”

Had nobody told the school nursel that I was fucking dying? Is that something you are supposed to share with the school?

Just the thought of telling the nurse had my head spinning in circles, not helping the preexisting pain whatsoever. I thought through my options of what to do, considering just letting the nurse do her thing or telling her that there was no point in marking me down as having the flu, nausea and headaches just kind of come with the whole death thing.

I was broken from my train of thought as a thermometer with a cold, plastic cone piece was stuck into my ear. Silence filled the room as all three of us waited to see what the thermometer would say, only I knew that it was likely to come back as a normal body temperature. The device in my ear, tickling it every so slightly, beeped and Mrs. Hoffman pulled it out to look at it and sigh. “You don’t have a fever so you must have a minor cold or something of the sort.” The tall blonde paused for a second before asking again, “Can you think of any other reason why you might have these symptoms?”

I refused to tell the nurse about my condition to an unknowing Chris so I played dumb as a bat and shook my head no. “Can I stay here for a while though? I still feel as if I might get sick, and I’d really rather not go back to class.”

“Of course! That is completely fine!” Mrs. Hoffman exclaimed as if she was excited for the company that would be in her presence for a while, I hope she knows that I won’t exactly be up for holding a conversation. “Just let me go fill out your report and get you some ibuprofen for your headache.”

“Okay.” I responded simply.

As soon as the nurse was back in her office, with the door mostly closed, Chris came to sit down next to me on the cot, both of us leaning back against the beige wall. I could tell from the creases in his face that my friend still had some questions, he was most likely worried that the reason for my sudden downfall of health was my anxiety.

“So did you really just start feeling bad, or are you sick for some other reason?”

“I don’t really know, I guess it just happens sometimes, it’s fine though. Thanks for bringing me here by the way, I kind of needed to go the nurse, but I just felt really bad, you know?” I peered at Chris to see if he understood anything that I just said and he seemed to get the majority of what I was saying, however there remained a layer of confusion upon Chris’s features.

“So why didn’t you come to the nurse with Phil when he offered?”

“What?” I said, attempting to avoid the question. The real reason I had ignored Phil was because I didn’t want my crush to have to deal with me when I was feeling bad, but there wasn’t a good way that I could explain that to my best friend sitting next to me.

“Well Phil saw that you weren’t looking your best and offered to take you to the nurse,” Chris nodded his head towards Mrs. Hoffman’s office, “But you didn’t seem to respond to him so he asked me to talk to you.”

Rather than showing any sort of understanding of what Chris was saying I stared straight ahead at a “Effects of Drugs on the Body” poster in front of me. For some odd reason Chris’s words felt like an interrogation, and while my stomach had subsided its twisting and knotting significantly I still felt as if the truth Chris was in search for could make me vomit on the plain tiles before me.

“I don’t really know, I was just really out of it I guess.”

“Okay, as long as you are okay? Are you okay Dan?”

“Yeah I’m fine.” Lies, I was telling lies.

I heaved a sigh of relief when the nurse returned from her office with some pills and a look at Chris as if to ask “what are you still doing here?”

“Chris you should probably go back to class.” I told him with a straight face, my eyes still trained on the pale wall in front of me. “Thanks for bringing me here, and for looking after me. Tell Phil that I said thanks, and I’m sorry too please.” I said with more emotion in my voice, finally looking up to meet his hazel eyes.

“Okay I will.”

Chris gave me one final smile and left the room, the sound of a door swinging closed an indicator to his departure. After he left Mrs. Hoffman proceeded to give me the pills she was holding in her hand and a cup, she then pointed in me in the direction of the water fountain that was only about ten feet away. “Let me know if you need anything else, otherwise you can just lay down and rest on the cot.”

Once I shuffled my way over to the water fountain and then swallowed my pills I found myself standing in the wide doorway of Mrs. Hoffman’s office.

“Mrs. Hoffman can I go home please?”

Turning around in her desk chair, the nurse looked at me with a sympathetic look, “Are you feeling that bad?”

“Just trust me when I say that I need to go home.” I practically begged, “Please.”

“Okay, let me just call your parents so one of them can come pick you up.”

“Thank you.” I responded simply.

.   .   .

When I first heard the doorbell ring I wasn’t expecting it to be for me. While I did hang out with friends a lot of the time, very rarely did they show up unexpected with gifts of cookies and candy.

“Dan! Chris and Phil are here to see you! Is it okay if they come up?” I heard my mom shout from the bottom of the stairs.

Despite the fact that I was utterly exhausted due to the my ill feelings earlier in the day, I couldn’t exactly order my friends to go home. Even if I did ask my friends to leave I knew my mom would scold me for turning away friends, when my months left with them were numbered.

“Yeah that’s fine!” I shouted back as loud as I could with my frail voice.

From my bed I could hear the shuffling of feet inside the door and greetings from both my friends any my mother, my mom seeming very excited that the two boys had decided to come see me after I had been sent home earlier today. It was only a few short minutes later when Chris and Phil scuttled into the room. With Chris taking a seat on the floor, Phil lunged for the hammock that I had hanging from the ceiling, his favorite place to sit whenever he came over to my house. Chris allowed only a few awkward moments of silence before he cleared his throat and began the conversation.

“So are you feeling any better Dan? You looked pretty out of it today in English and at the nurse’s office.”

I could tell from the way that Chris had delivered his words that he was trying to make light of the situation, something which I was grateful for. “Haha, thanks Chris, I know that I looked like shit, I still kind of do to be honest.”

Phil perked up at my comment about myself. “You look great, you’re glowing.”

“Is he pregnant?” Asked Chris as if he was actually quite curious about my answer I was going to give.

“No I’m not pregnant, and in all seriousness I’m feeling much better.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Phil said genuinely, with his sunshine of a smile.

I turned my gaze towards Phil and took a moment to study his features. Phil truly is beautiful, from his clear, pale skin to his striking eyes, I couldn’t help but get lost in his soft features. Phil was quite honestly bright enough to be a star, always shining and twinkling for others to watch him, something entirely his own, but in the most dazzling way. I was interrupted from my star-gazing, as Phil’s pools of crystal blue met mine and I watched as he smiled delicately. I was utterly transfixed by my friend, the knowledge that Chris was saying something in the back of my mind, but unimportant due to the boy sitting in front of me. Just as I was about to turn my head, still being uncomfortable with long periods of eye contact, I caught Phil wink in my direction and then return the same smile he had been wearing just a few short seconds before. What was that about? It was so unlike Phil to wink at me, or anybody for that matter.

“Dan! Phil! Are either of you listening to me?” Chris almost yelled, seeming genuinely annoyed at Phil and I’s lack of participation in the conversation. “Can you guys pay attention to my story for Christ sakes!”

Turning our heads at the same time, Phil and I looked at each other with a look of fear and began laughing as we turned to face where Chris was sat on the floor. “Okay we’re listening, I’m sorry Chris.” I apologized, as Chris was more likely to take the apology sincerely from me than Phil.  

“As I was saying, I am seriously concerned for the mental health of Mr. Lamon, he legitimately thought that penguins were mammals and this guy has a masters degree!”

“Mr. Lamon is a bit of an airhead to be honest.” Phil responded in order to keep Chris happy, something to which I was thankful.

While I loved Chris deeply I was really wishing that it was only Phil sitting in my room and telling stories. My emotional and physical health really didn’t feel adequate for forced interaction, and to be quite honest all I really wanted to do was talk to Phil about the kid in my math class who outed himself today. Incapable of forcing myself to engage in the conversation I felt myself begin to drift off towards thoughts of my friends, and if today would have been easier had they known that I’m dying. At what point do I tell my friends that next year won’t be something I get to experience? Surely if I could tell anybody I could tell my best friend, but that hardly seemed right in this situation. Even if I am to consider telling any of my four friends I couldn’t imagine which it would be easiest to tell, which one I’m closest to in order to disclose that information.

When it comes to best friends it can be difficult because between all four of my friends I feel closer to each of them in a different way. I suppose Phil was the person I always went to talk about anything that’s taboo or things regarding sexuality, considering he’s questioning his own and my other friends aren’t nearly as comfortable with the topic. I loved Phil to death, quite obviously, he is sweet, caring, funny, smart, and overall an amazing person, but yet he isn’t afraid to validate my hatred for a few select people when I need him to. Then there is PJ, who although is probably my most supportive friend, doesn’t always connect with me on my crippling social anxiety traits. PJ is such a fun person to be around and incredibly caring, but the difference between PJ and the rest of my friends is that PJ doesn’t mind meeting new people and socializing while the rest of us would rather stay in our beds than go to a party. As far as Louise, I love her more than I think I realize, I value our deep conversations and ability to talk about anything and get along to an extent that most would never understand, however there are simply some things that I can not share with Louise. Finally there is Chris, the one person I would have to call my best friend. Chris and I relate in a way that I don’t think either of us, or anybody else will ever understand, we might be considered polar opposites but we have enough in common and love each other enough to fully appreciate the other to their full potential. It’s the three am conversations, and our ability to text for the entire day without getting tired of each other, that I value so much in our friendship. I know for a fact that Chris would do anything in the world for me, and I of course would return the favor. It is the deep friendship I hold with Chris, and Chris’s saddening story of his mother that keeps me from telling my friends that I’m dying. How would somebody ever tell their best friend that the same illness that stole their mother away from them is now stealing their best friend, it seems impossible.

As if being ripped away from a movie, I felt myself flash back to reality due to a screaming Chris. “Daniel James Howell! Can you not keep a conversation?” Chris said, his face close enough to mine that I could feel the air from his words vibrating against my cheeks. Despite his antics to get me to talk I still struggled to pull myself back to reality and the room I was sitting in at the moment. In a much calmer voice this time, Chris asked, “Dan are you okay?”

It was at this point that I was able to regain control over my body and acknowledge the two friends sitting in front of me. “I’m fine, just tired to be honest.”

“Are you sure that that’s all that’s wrong?” Phil piped in. I couldn’t help but read Phil’s tone of voice as accusing, making me nervously look up at him. How in the world could Phil have found out about my nearing death?

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I jutted out defensively. Realizing my mistake, I made an attempt at compensating for the obvious anxiety in my voice, “Well I mean I kind of still have a headache so Chris’s screaming isn’t helping that at all.” Just to ease the tension in the room I shot Chris a mockingly, accusatory glare from my place on my bed.

“Sorry.” Chris said in a timid voice.

“It’s okay.”

A silence seemed to fall over the three of us as if we had all forgot about the other breathing bodies in the room. I could only imagine what was running through Phil’s mind by this point, he so clearly knows that something is wrong, Chris on the other hand seemed slightly oblivious, or at least he was a state where he didn’t see the need to intervene quite yet. While I sometimes wished that my friends would settle for a silent room, opposed to constant talking, I could feel the silence eating away at my control over my anxiety. These are my friends and yet I still felt slightly nervous about what could happen in the next few moments. The quiet of the room seemed to be soaking into the walls and the furniture around us until everything was buzzing, my ears not being able to handle the lack of sound.

“So did I miss anything important today in English?” I spoke up, being rather blunt with my words.

My bland question seemed to break my friends out of the spell that had seemed to overtaken them, and they automatically glanced at each other before nodding and their heads. Weird.

“You didn’t miss much, just something boring probably.” Phil sighed.

I looked to Chris to get a better description of the hour I had missed, but was met with him shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t look at me, I spent most of class at the nurse with you.”

“I guess you’re right, I’ll just talk to her tomorrow to see if there is anything I need to make up.”

The blanket of silence seemed to fall over the three of us again and I felt as if I might implode if somebody didn’t speak the fuck up. Thankfully Chris unlocked his phone to look at the time and seemed to make a  fake gasp. “It’s nearly six o’clock and I have at least four hours of history to do, I better get going, see you later Dan, and I hope you get start feeling better.”

I snorted at Chris’ words, they were so incredibly fake and he must have known that I knew he was just putting on an act, although I knew the act was only in my interest as he could see that I am tired. “You say that as if I’m a dying relative that you don’t actually want to see.” I only stopped for a second when I realized what I had said, quickly picking my sarcasm back up so that neither of my two friends would notice my realization. “I’ll text you later tonight you dingus.”

“Okay.” Chris only chuckled as he walked out of the door and down the stairs of my home.

Phil and I both waited until we heard Dan bid farewell to my mother and close the front door to begin talking ourselves. I got up off my spot on the bed and closed the door, there was no reason that my family needed to hear me telling Phil the story of Jonathan outing himself during math today. As I was up closing the door Phil seemed to have taken it upon himself to move over the spot opposite of what I had previously been sitting on my bed. Sitting next to Phil I pulled out a blanket from the chest beside the bed and tossed it over to Phil, also pulling myself one out as well.

“You look like you have been itching to tell me something ever since I walked through your door, so spill.” Phil spoke in a commanding voice, or as commanding as Phil could sound.

“How did you know that I had gossip to share?”

“Don’t try to deny the fact that we have very intense eye conversations Daniel.”

I laughed at Phil’s statement and simply nodded my head showing my appreciation to the truth behind his statement. I tried my best to keep from halting all conversation to admire the specks of varying color in Phil’s eyes as he seemed to intently stare at my flushed features. Knowing that if I didn’t stop myself now I was going to cross the line between platonic and romantic admiration I cleared my throat and began my story about Jonathan.

Previous Chapter 

#north and south of happy #phanfiction #phan au #fanfiction #fanfic #phan #phandom #perpetuallyphantasizing #dan and phil fanfiction